Open In Colab

Setup environment¶

In [1]:
from google.colab import drive
drive.mount('/content/drive')
Mounted at /content/drive
In [2]:
!pip install gensim emoji nltk tqdm seaborn torch torchsummary -q
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In [3]:
import pandas as pd
import torch
from torch import nn
from torch.utils.data import DataLoader, Dataset
import numpy as np
from tensorflow.keras.models import Sequential

import nltk
import emoji
import re
from tensorflow.keras.preprocessing.text import Tokenizer
from tensorflow.keras.preprocessing import sequence
from sklearn.preprocessing import LabelEncoder
import gensim
import tensorflow as tf
from tensorflow.keras.preprocessing.sequence import pad_sequences
from tensorflow.keras.layers import Embedding, Conv1D, MaxPooling1D, Flatten, Dense, Dropout
from nltk.corpus import stopwords
from nltk.stem import WordNetLemmatizer
from sklearn.model_selection import train_test_split
import sklearn.metrics as metrics

import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
import seaborn as sns
from tqdm import tqdm
import gc
import os

import ssl
ssl._create_default_https_context = ssl._create_unverified_context
In [4]:
!pip install contractions
!pip install textsearch
!pip install tqdm
nltk.download('punkt')
Collecting contractions
  Downloading contractions-0.1.73-py2.py3-none-any.whl (8.7 kB)
Collecting textsearch>=0.0.21 (from contractions)
  Downloading textsearch-0.0.24-py2.py3-none-any.whl (7.6 kB)
Collecting anyascii (from textsearch>=0.0.21->contractions)
  Downloading anyascii-0.3.2-py3-none-any.whl (289 kB)
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Collecting pyahocorasick (from textsearch>=0.0.21->contractions)
  Downloading pyahocorasick-2.1.0-cp310-cp310-manylinux_2_5_x86_64.manylinux1_x86_64.manylinux_2_12_x86_64.manylinux2010_x86_64.whl (110 kB)
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Installing collected packages: pyahocorasick, anyascii, textsearch, contractions
Successfully installed anyascii-0.3.2 contractions-0.1.73 pyahocorasick-2.1.0 textsearch-0.0.24
Requirement already satisfied: textsearch in /usr/local/lib/python3.10/dist-packages (0.0.24)
Requirement already satisfied: anyascii in /usr/local/lib/python3.10/dist-packages (from textsearch) (0.3.2)
Requirement already satisfied: pyahocorasick in /usr/local/lib/python3.10/dist-packages (from textsearch) (2.1.0)
Requirement already satisfied: tqdm in /usr/local/lib/python3.10/dist-packages (4.66.4)
[nltk_data] Downloading package punkt to /root/nltk_data...
[nltk_data]   Unzipping tokenizers/punkt.zip.
Out[4]:
True
In [ ]:
print("here")

Config¶

Model training config¶

In [ ]:
LEARNING_RATE = 4e-4
WEIGHT_DECAY = 1e-2
BATCH_SIZE = 64
EPOCHS = 15

SEQUENCE_LEN = 64
CNN_FILTERS = 64
In [ ]:
DEVICE = torch.device("cuda" if torch.cuda.is_available() else "cpu")
In [ ]:
print(DEVICE)
cpu

Data Preparation¶

Load Data¶

In [ ]:
# TODO: Load read and load the data here
# Load the dataset
data = pd.read_csv("twitter-suicidal-data.csv")  # Replace "twitter-suicide-dataset.csv" with the actual file path

# Preprocess the text data
tweets = data["tweet"].astype(str)  # Convert text column to string type
intentions = data["intention"]
data.info()
data.describe()
<class 'pandas.core.frame.DataFrame'>
RangeIndex: 9119 entries, 0 to 9118
Data columns (total 2 columns):
 #   Column     Non-Null Count  Dtype 
---  ------     --------------  ----- 
 0   tweet      9119 non-null   object
 1   intention  9119 non-null   int64 
dtypes: int64(1), object(1)
memory usage: 142.6+ KB
Out[ ]:
intention
count 9119.000000
mean 0.438425
std 0.496221
min 0.000000
25% 0.000000
50% 0.000000
75% 1.000000
max 1.000000
In [5]:
nltk.download('stopwords')
nltk.download('wordnet')
nltk.download('omw-1.4')
[nltk_data] Downloading package stopwords to /root/nltk_data...
[nltk_data]   Unzipping corpora/stopwords.zip.
[nltk_data] Downloading package wordnet to /root/nltk_data...
[nltk_data] Downloading package omw-1.4 to /root/nltk_data...
Out[5]:
True
In [ ]:
def preprocess_data(tweet):
  """
  This function preprocesses a tweet by performing the following steps:

  Args:
    tweet: A string representing a tweet.

  Returns:
    A list of preprocessed tokens.
  """

  # Lowercase the tweet
  tweet = tweet.lower()
  # Remove mentions
  tweet = re.sub(r'@\w+', '', tweet)
  # Remove punctuation
  # print(tweet)
  tweet = re.sub(r'[^\w\s]', '', tweet)

  # Remove numbers
  tweet = re.sub(r'\d+', '', tweet)

  # Remove URLs
  tweet = re.sub(r'http\S+', '', tweet)

  # tweet = re.sub(r'<[a-zA-Z]+\s+[a-zA-Z]+>', '', tweet)

  # Remove emojis
  tweet = re.sub(r'[^\w\s]', '', tweet)

  # Normalize whitespace
  tweet = re.sub(r'\s+', ' ', tweet)

  # Remove non-word characters
  tweet = re.sub(r'[^a-zA-Z\s]+', '', tweet)

  # Tokenize
  tokens = tweet.split()

  # Lemmatize
  lemmatizer = WordNetLemmatizer()
  tokens = [lemmatizer.lemmatize(token) for token in tokens]

  # Remove stop words
  stop_words = set(stopwords.words('english'))
  tokens = [token for token in tokens if token not in stop_words]
  # return tweet
  return tokens

# Example usage
tweet = "This is a sample tweet! https://www.example.com @user 123 😊"
preprocessed_tokens = preprocess_data(tweet)
print(preprocessed_tokens)  # Output: ['sample', 'tweet']
['sample', 'tweet']
In [ ]:
# @title intention

from matplotlib import pyplot as plt
data['intention'].plot(kind='hist', bins=20, title='intention')
plt.gca().spines[['top', 'right',]].set_visible(False)

Data Preprocessing¶

Briefly explain and tell about the advantages and disadvantages of converting text to lowercase format.Finally, why do we do this processing?¶

Here's a breakdown of the pros and cons of converting text to lowercase, and why it's often done:

Advantages:

Normalization: Lowercasing makes all text uniform, regardless of the original capitalization. This is essential for many NLP tasks where case differences shouldn't affect the meaning. For example, "Apple" and "apple" should be treated the same in sentiment analysis.

Vocabulary Reduction: Lowercasing reduces the size of your vocabulary (the set of unique words in your data). This can make models more efficient and can help prevent overfitting, especially when dealing with limited data.

Simplicity: Lowercasing is a straightforward and easy-to-implement preprocessing step.

Disadvantages:

Loss of Information: In some cases, capitalization carries important meaning.

Named Entities: "Apple" (the company) is different from "apple" (the fruit).

Sentiment Analysis: ALL CAPS can indicate strong emotion.

Start of Sentences: Capitalization helps with sentence boundary detection.

Ambiguity: Lowercasing can sometimes introduce ambiguity. For example, "US" (United States) vs. "us" (pronoun).

Why We Do It:

Despite the potential drawbacks, converting text to lowercase is often a beneficial preprocessing step in NLP for these reasons:

Consistency: It creates a more uniform representation of text, which is essential for many algorithms that don't inherently understand the nuances of capitalization.

Efficiency: It reduces the size of the vocabulary, making models faster to train and potentially more generalizable.

When to Avoid Lowercasing:

Named Entity Recognition (NER): Capitalization is crucial for identifying named entities.

Sentiment Analysis (sometimes): If your task requires capturing the nuances of capitalization for sentiment (e.g., ALL CAPS for anger), avoid lowercasing.

Best Practices:

Consider your Task: Carefully evaluate whether lowercasing is appropriate for your specific NLP task.

Combine with Other Techniques: Use lowercasing in conjunction with other preprocessing methods (like stemming or lemmatization) to further normalize text.

Research the elimination of numbers in the above processes and name the advantages and disadvantages of this process.¶

Advantages:

Reduced Vocabulary Size: Removing numbers will further decrease the vocabulary size, potentially leading to faster training and better generalization.

Less Noise: In many NLP tasks, numbers may not carry significant semantic meaning. Removing them can reduce noise and help the model focus on more relevant word patterns.

Task Specificity (Suicidal Intent): In our case (detecting suicidal intent), numbers might not be strong indicators of suicidal thoughts or emotions. Removing them could help the model focus on more relevant linguistic cues.

Disadvantages:

Loss of Potential Information: Numbers can sometimes be significant:

**Age:** "I'm 15 and feeling hopeless" - Age can be a relevant factor.

**Dates and Times:** "I can't take it anymore. It's 3:00 AM" - Time can indicate sleeplessness or distress.

**Quantities:** "I've taken 10 pills" - Quantity can be critical in this context.

Generalization Issues: If your training data doesn't contain diverse examples with numbers, the model might not generalize well to real-world tweets that include numbers.

Why We Might Remove Numbers:

In our specific task (detecting suicidal intent), the advantages of removing numbers (reducing vocabulary, reducing noise, and focusing on language patterns) likely outweigh the potential disadvantages.

How to Implement Number Removal:

We can modify the getitem method to remove numbers:

processed_tokens = [token.lower() for token in tokens if token.isalpha() and not token.isdigit()]

Alternative Approaches:

Replace with Placeholder: Replace all numbers with a special token like to preserve some indication of numerical information.

Conditional Removal: Remove numbers only if they fall outside a certain range (e.g., remove numbers greater than 100) or if they are not part of specific patterns (like dates or times).

We have the ability to use hashtags in the Twitter social network. Explain why we did not remove these expressions and what effect does keeping them have on the performance of the model?¶

Here's why we didn't remove hashtags and the potential benefits of keeping them:

Semantic Significance:

Topic Markers: Hashtags often act as topic markers, providing crucial context about the subject of a tweet. For example, #depression, #suicideprevention, #mentalhealth.

Sentiment Indicators: Hashtags can express sentiment or emotion. For instance, #feelinghopeless, #overwhelmed, #lonely.

Community and Support: Hashtags can connect users with similar experiences or concerns, and they might indicate a person's attempt to reach out for help (e.g., #suicideawareness, #youmatter).

Word Embedding Representation:

Unique Embeddings: Hashtags often have unique word embeddings that capture their specific meaning and usage patterns on Twitter. Removing them would deprive our model of these valuable representations.

Contextual Information: Hashtags contribute to the overall contextual information of a tweet, helping the model understand the tweet's sentiment and topic more accurately.

Suicidal Intent Detection:

Direct Indicators: Some hashtags directly relate to suicidal ideation or self-harm, making them potentially strong indicators for our task (e.g., #suicide, #selfharm, #enditall).

Indirect Indicators: Other hashtags might indirectly reveal emotional distress, mental health struggles, or social isolation, which are often associated with suicidal thoughts.

Impact on Model Performance:

Improved Accuracy: Keeping hashtags is likely to improve the model's accuracy in detecting suicidal intent by providing valuable contextual information and semantic cues.

Better Generalization: The model would be better equipped to generalize to real-world Twitter data where hashtags are prevalent.

Considerations:

Hashtag Frequency: Some hashtags might be very rare, leading to sparse word embeddings. We might need to consider techniques like hashtag normalization or grouping similar hashtags to address this.

Noise and Irrelevant Hashtags: Not all hashtags are relevant to suicidal intent. We might need to analyze hashtag usage patterns and potentially filter out noisy or irrelevant ones.

Conclusion:

Keeping hashtags in our data preprocessing for suicidal intent detection is a wise choice. They offer important semantic and contextual information that can significantly enhance the model's performance. However, careful consideration should be given to address potential issues related to hashtag frequency and noise.

In [6]:
nltk.download(["stopwords", "punkt", "wordnet", "averaged_perceptron_tagger"])
[nltk_data] Downloading package stopwords to /root/nltk_data...
[nltk_data]   Package stopwords is already up-to-date!
[nltk_data] Downloading package punkt to /root/nltk_data...
[nltk_data]   Package punkt is already up-to-date!
[nltk_data] Downloading package wordnet to /root/nltk_data...
[nltk_data]   Package wordnet is already up-to-date!
[nltk_data] Downloading package averaged_perceptron_tagger to
[nltk_data]     /root/nltk_data...
[nltk_data]   Unzipping taggers/averaged_perceptron_tagger.zip.
Out[6]:
True
In [ ]:
text = "This is a sample tweet! https://www.example.com #user 123 😊"
preprocessed_tokens = preprocess_data(text)
print(preprocessed_tokens)  # Output: ['sample', 'tweet']
['sample', 'tweet', 'user']
In [ ]:
## TODO: Show some samples before/after preprocessing
cleaned_tweets = []
for i in range(len(tweets)):

  cleaned_tweets.append(preprocess_data(tweets[i]))
  if ( i < 20):
    print(i)
    print(tweets[i])
    print(preprocess_data(tweets[i]))
0
my life is meaningless i just want to end my life so badly my life is completely empty and i dont want to have to create meaning in it creating meaning is pain how long will i hold back the urge to run my car head first into the next person coming the opposite way when will i stop feeling jealous of tragic characters like gomer pile for the swift end they were able to bring to their lives
['life', 'meaningless', 'want', 'end', 'life', 'badly', 'life', 'completely', 'empty', 'dont', 'want', 'create', 'meaning', 'creating', 'meaning', 'pain', 'long', 'hold', 'back', 'urge', 'run', 'car', 'head', 'first', 'next', 'person', 'coming', 'opposite', 'way', 'stop', 'feeling', 'jealous', 'tragic', 'character', 'like', 'gomer', 'pile', 'swift', 'end', 'able', 'bring', 'life']
1
muttering i wanna die to myself daily for a few months now i feel worthless shes my soulmate i cant live in this horrible world without her i am so lonely i wish i could just turn off the part of my brain that feels 
['muttering', 'wanna', 'die', 'daily', 'month', 'feel', 'worthless', 'shes', 'soulmate', 'cant', 'live', 'horrible', 'world', 'without', 'lonely', 'wish', 'could', 'turn', 'part', 'brain', 'feel']
2
work slave i really feel like my only purpose in life is to make a higher man money parents forcing me through college and i have too much on my plate i owe a lot of money i know this is the easy way out but i am really tired all of these issues are on top of dealing with tensions in america as well i want to rest
['work', 'slave', 'really', 'feel', 'like', 'purpose', 'life', 'make', 'higher', 'man', 'money', 'parent', 'forcing', 'college', 'much', 'plate', 'owe', 'lot', 'money', 'know', 'easy', 'way', 'really', 'tired', 'issue', 'top', 'dealing', 'tension', 'america', 'well', 'want', 'rest']
3
i did something on the 2 of october i overdosed i just felt so alone and horrible i was in hospital for two days now when i walk down the hallways of my school they always look at me weird and say i should take more pills and i hate it i have no one i have this voice in my head now and it wont go away and i cant be myself anymore thanks for reading
['something', 'october', 'overdosed', 'felt', 'alone', 'horrible', 'wa', 'hospital', 'two', 'day', 'walk', 'hallway', 'school', 'always', 'look', 'weird', 'say', 'take', 'pill', 'hate', 'one', 'voice', 'head', 'wont', 'go', 'away', 'cant', 'anymore', 'thanks', 'reading']
4
i feel like no one cares i just want to die maybe then i d feel less lonely
['feel', 'like', 'one', 'care', 'want', 'die', 'maybe', 'feel', 'le', 'lonely']
5
i am great and wonderful i am worth it except not enough to be anyones first choice everyone tells me how wonderful i am but not enough to be loved like i love others i put aside everything for people but i am too crazy to hold a job too nothing to be really loved i am not entitled and i dont even have the right to die on my own terms and i am an asshole for being angry about it for being upset that i am there when other people treat me like shit and cant be bothered wheni amhurt
['great', 'wonderful', 'worth', 'except', 'enough', 'anyones', 'first', 'choice', 'everyone', 'tell', 'wonderful', 'enough', 'loved', 'like', 'love', 'others', 'put', 'aside', 'everything', 'people', 'crazy', 'hold', 'job', 'nothing', 'really', 'loved', 'entitled', 'dont', 'even', 'right', 'die', 'term', 'asshole', 'angry', 'upset', 'people', 'treat', 'like', 'shit', 'cant', 'bothered', 'wheni', 'amhurt']
6
i ll be dead just you wait and see my last words before my death for whoever is interestedi am sorry but youre better off without me youll learn to live without me it wont be difficult now i shall die 
['dead', 'wait', 'see', 'last', 'word', 'death', 'whoever', 'interestedi', 'sorry', 'youre', 'better', 'without', 'youll', 'learn', 'live', 'without', 'wont', 'difficult', 'shall', 'die']
7
health anxiety prompting some bad thoughts in my head i have been struggling for 2 months now with some health issues as a 26 year old male my pessimistic nature just makes me think about the worst my hands and feet are currently tingling and burning i just keep picturing myself on a wheelchair being a burden to my family girlfriend and so on suicide thoughts come to my mind as i prefer to put a sudden end to everything instead of deteriorating myself day after day losing motor and cognitive functions life is already hard as it is and now my health is failing for the first time 
['health', 'anxiety', 'prompting', 'bad', 'thought', 'head', 'struggling', 'month', 'health', 'issue', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'pessimistic', 'nature', 'make', 'think', 'worst', 'hand', 'foot', 'currently', 'tingling', 'burning', 'keep', 'picturing', 'wheelchair', 'burden', 'family', 'girlfriend', 'suicide', 'thought', 'come', 'mind', 'prefer', 'put', 'sudden', 'end', 'everything', 'instead', 'deteriorating', 'day', 'day', 'losing', 'motor', 'cognitive', 'function', 'life', 'already', 'hard', 'health', 'failing', 'first', 'time']
8
everything is okay but nothing feels okay i ve always been a bit unhappy as a kid too i think although i can t remember much of my childhood i dont want to kill myself but sometimes that thought just comes creeping and it scares me a little a few weeks ago a problem came up it was a financial problem quite fixable but i just couldn t handle it i tied myself a noose and everything i was gonna do it i was all alone in the house with my dog so there was really no one that would be able to stop me i didnt do anything but i felt like i could have done it completely on impulse over a fixable problem leaving behind everything i love and my hopeful future i feel it now too creeping up on me everything should be fine but i cant help the feeling that i should just do it like everything would be easier for everyone if they would just realize how little they need me 
['everything', 'okay', 'nothing', 'feel', 'okay', 'always', 'bit', 'unhappy', 'kid', 'think', 'although', 'remember', 'much', 'childhood', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'sometimes', 'thought', 'come', 'creeping', 'scare', 'little', 'week', 'ago', 'problem', 'came', 'wa', 'financial', 'problem', 'quite', 'fixable', 'handle', 'tied', 'noose', 'everything', 'wa', 'gonna', 'wa', 'alone', 'house', 'dog', 'wa', 'really', 'one', 'would', 'able', 'stop', 'didnt', 'anything', 'felt', 'like', 'could', 'done', 'completely', 'impulse', 'fixable', 'problem', 'leaving', 'behind', 'everything', 'love', 'hopeful', 'future', 'feel', 'creeping', 'everything', 'fine', 'cant', 'help', 'feeling', 'like', 'everything', 'would', 'easier', 'everyone', 'would', 'realize', 'little', 'need']
9
ptsd and alcohol i had some extremely horrible violent stuff happen to me a few years ago i was 21 nowi am26 i forgot about repressed it or whatever for several years something unrelated one day made me remember everything it all came flooding back into my mind and it was like i was reliving it all and felt like i was having a never ending panic attack for about 4 days this buried trauma explained a lot about why my alcohol pornography cigarette usages were all insanely high to the point they fucked up my life and relationships with people close to me in signifigant waysi amafraid to talk about what happened to anyone even people i trust like my family or a potential therapist due to extreme irrational paranoia about the people involved finding out and hurting me again and sometimesi amjust completely consumed by negative horrible thoughts and cant escape them i tried getting a sliding scale therapist a couple years ago and even t and gave up on the idea of therapy i dont know what to do i dont want to give up 
['ptsd', 'alcohol', 'extremely', 'horrible', 'violent', 'stuff', 'happen', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'nowi', 'forgot', 'repressed', 'whatever', 'several', 'year', 'something', 'unrelated', 'one', 'day', 'made', 'remember', 'everything', 'came', 'flooding', 'back', 'mind', 'wa', 'like', 'wa', 'reliving', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'never', 'ending', 'panic', 'attack', 'day', 'buried', 'trauma', 'explained', 'lot', 'alcohol', 'pornography', 'cigarette', 'usage', 'insanely', 'high', 'point', 'fucked', 'life', 'relationship', 'people', 'close', 'signifigant', 'waysi', 'amafraid', 'talk', 'happened', 'anyone', 'even', 'people', 'trust', 'like', 'family', 'potential', 'therapist', 'due', 'extreme', 'irrational', 'paranoia', 'people', 'involved', 'finding', 'hurting', 'sometimesi', 'amjust', 'completely', 'consumed', 'negative', 'horrible', 'thought', 'cant', 'escape', 'tried', 'getting', 'sliding', 'scale', 'therapist', 'couple', 'year', 'ago', 'even', 'gave', 'idea', 'therapy', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'want', 'give']
10
i dont have long left this past month has been the worst 3 weeks ago i went on date with a guy and went to his place afterwards and he tried to force me to go farther than i wanted to go ive been afraid to even hang out with a guy since the next day i was fired from my job i spent the whole rest of that week alone filling out job app which didnt help with my depression the next week i started having some issues went to get tested and found i had gotten gonorrhea from the guy that tried to force me i went to dinner at a friends house and my car ended up getting towed so i owe my mom 150 for that i almost attempted suicide that day last week and i started work last week but will only be getting a partial paycheck because of when i started and i amcurrently 75 for my bank account and behind on my bills so i dont know how much this check is gonna help i just dont have any fight left in me anymore
['dont', 'long', 'left', 'past', 'month', 'ha', 'worst', 'week', 'ago', 'went', 'date', 'guy', 'went', 'place', 'afterwards', 'tried', 'force', 'go', 'farther', 'wanted', 'go', 'ive', 'afraid', 'even', 'hang', 'guy', 'since', 'next', 'day', 'wa', 'fired', 'job', 'spent', 'whole', 'rest', 'week', 'alone', 'filling', 'job', 'app', 'didnt', 'help', 'depression', 'next', 'week', 'started', 'issue', 'went', 'get', 'tested', 'found', 'gotten', 'gonorrhea', 'guy', 'tried', 'force', 'went', 'dinner', 'friend', 'house', 'car', 'ended', 'getting', 'towed', 'owe', 'mom', 'almost', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'day', 'last', 'week', 'started', 'work', 'last', 'week', 'getting', 'partial', 'paycheck', 'started', 'amcurrently', 'bank', 'account', 'behind', 'bill', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'check', 'gonna', 'help', 'dont', 'fight', 'left', 'anymore']
11
i almost attempted suicide again when someone blackmailed me and threatened to have me thrown in jail for something i didnt do he knew where i worked and my parents names
['almost', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'someone', 'blackmailed', 'threatened', 'thrown', 'jail', 'something', 'didnt', 'knew', 'worked', 'parent', 'name']
12
i am 16 and hate myself so much i have very little friends an introvert never had a girlfriend been bullied a lot and rejected a lot please help me i want to kill myself it would make all this go away i dont deserve to be on this earth since i write notes on paper of how worthless and stupid i am i want to become someone in the it field but i am too stupid to get in there anyways and jobs nowadays need social people and i am not one of them ive never had a girlfriend before and i want to have one because being a virgin is a bad thing and i could never live with that feeling if i dont have any friends or a girlfriend wheni am an adult i plan on committing suicide can you please help me thanks for reading
['hate', 'much', 'little', 'friend', 'introvert', 'never', 'girlfriend', 'bullied', 'lot', 'rejected', 'lot', 'please', 'help', 'want', 'kill', 'would', 'make', 'go', 'away', 'dont', 'deserve', 'earth', 'since', 'write', 'note', 'paper', 'worthless', 'stupid', 'want', 'become', 'someone', 'field', 'stupid', 'get', 'anyways', 'job', 'nowadays', 'need', 'social', 'people', 'one', 'ive', 'never', 'girlfriend', 'want', 'one', 'virgin', 'bad', 'thing', 'could', 'never', 'live', 'feeling', 'dont', 'friend', 'girlfriend', 'wheni', 'adult', 'plan', 'committing', 'suicide', 'please', 'help', 'thanks', 'reading']
13
goodbye everybody abusive dad bullying being a wimp because i never had a father figure in my childhood never getting to fuck the girls i wanted to fuck never having a say in anything becausei am too weak to step up three tours in iraq killed people who tried killing me saw those people kill my friends lost both legs to a roadside i ed wanted to become a physician but dreams are exactly that a fantasy and not something achievable spent 10 years in prison after cops ransacked my home and found 5 grams of weed i grow tired of wading through this hell every day ive been waiting for this moment for a long time and i have a 9mm ready to get the job done quick and clean fuck this place
['goodbye', 'everybody', 'abusive', 'dad', 'bullying', 'wimp', 'never', 'father', 'figure', 'childhood', 'never', 'getting', 'fuck', 'girl', 'wanted', 'fuck', 'never', 'say', 'anything', 'becausei', 'weak', 'step', 'three', 'tour', 'iraq', 'killed', 'people', 'tried', 'killing', 'saw', 'people', 'kill', 'friend', 'lost', 'leg', 'roadside', 'ed', 'wanted', 'become', 'physician', 'dream', 'exactly', 'fantasy', 'something', 'achievable', 'spent', 'year', 'prison', 'cop', 'ransacked', 'home', 'found', 'gram', 'weed', 'grow', 'tired', 'wading', 'hell', 'every', 'day', 'ive', 'waiting', 'moment', 'long', 'time', 'mm', 'ready', 'get', 'job', 'done', 'quick', 'clean', 'fuck', 'place']
14
i cant stop fucking upi amselfish gutless disrespectful spiteful rude self righteous arrogant ignorantim forgetful unfelpful self centeredim stupid clutzy lazy depressed constantly exhausted i havent filled out any of my college applications because i didnt even plan on living this long i just want to die so i can stop disgracing my family and inconveniencing my mom i kind of want to be a ballistician they look at bullets from dead bodies to see what gun it came out of but honestly i am more likely to be the subject of one and i dont have any friends in or out of school why am i like this
['cant', 'stop', 'fucking', 'upi', 'amselfish', 'gutless', 'disrespectful', 'spiteful', 'rude', 'self', 'righteous', 'arrogant', 'ignorantim', 'forgetful', 'unfelpful', 'self', 'centeredim', 'stupid', 'clutzy', 'lazy', 'depressed', 'constantly', 'exhausted', 'havent', 'filled', 'college', 'application', 'didnt', 'even', 'plan', 'living', 'long', 'want', 'die', 'stop', 'disgracing', 'family', 'inconveniencing', 'mom', 'kind', 'want', 'ballistician', 'look', 'bullet', 'dead', 'body', 'see', 'gun', 'came', 'honestly', 'likely', 'subject', 'one', 'dont', 'friend', 'school', 'like']
15
i ve got exactly 23 days of life left and ive never felt so calm or at peace id rather not wait till then but its the first day i will be completely alone and have the time i need this
['got', 'exactly', 'day', 'life', 'left', 'ive', 'never', 'felt', 'calm', 'peace', 'id', 'rather', 'wait', 'till', 'first', 'day', 'completely', 'alone', 'time', 'need']
16
i hate my parents so much i want to kill myself to spite them especially my dad i almost do not want to have children because i do not want my dad to become a grandfather just like how he didnt want me to have a girlfriend or friends growing up i dont think i would even goto his funeral if he died i hate you from the bottom of my heart you only had me in order to chain down my mom you hated and ignored yelled at me since i was a little boy and now i hate you forever this hatred is killing me 
['hate', 'parent', 'much', 'want', 'kill', 'spite', 'especially', 'dad', 'almost', 'want', 'child', 'want', 'dad', 'become', 'grandfather', 'like', 'didnt', 'want', 'girlfriend', 'friend', 'growing', 'dont', 'think', 'would', 'even', 'goto', 'funeral', 'died', 'hate', 'bottom', 'heart', 'order', 'chain', 'mom', 'hated', 'ignored', 'yelled', 'since', 'wa', 'little', 'boy', 'hate', 'forever', 'hatred', 'killing']
17
i cant live in this world ok its too much its too bad and too evil and i cant handle it anymore theres so much more evil in the world than good almost everyone is just apathetic about all the suffering in the world or people actively contribute to it people harass hate and kill each other for no reason people get killed by natural disasters and most people dont give a shit at all they just think whatever better them than me and move on with their lives 
['cant', 'live', 'world', 'ok', 'much', 'bad', 'evil', 'cant', 'handle', 'anymore', 'much', 'evil', 'world', 'good', 'almost', 'everyone', 'apathetic', 'suffering', 'world', 'people', 'actively', 'contribute', 'people', 'harass', 'hate', 'kill', 'reason', 'people', 'get', 'killed', 'natural', 'disaster', 'people', 'dont', 'give', 'shit', 'think', 'whatever', 'better', 'move', 'life']
18
why is mankind afraid of death lately i am asking myself more often and often why do we fear death nowdays back in the middle ages for example of course you fear getting in hell and stupid shit like that but today even if it is completly painless why would you struggle to just end it all i myself am not suicidal i would say even if i think about it more than often to just quit go the pussy but easy way why should i struggle with life instead of going the easy route personally i think its because mankind fears the unkown we dont know whats after death because none really came back from actual death and reported about it like actual clinical dead but is is really the only reason like i know i am not going to kill myself yet and it probably stays that way because i am just too much of a pussy to be a pussy if you get what i mean 
['mankind', 'afraid', 'death', 'lately', 'asking', 'often', 'often', 'fear', 'death', 'nowdays', 'back', 'middle', 'age', 'example', 'course', 'fear', 'getting', 'hell', 'stupid', 'shit', 'like', 'today', 'even', 'completly', 'painless', 'would', 'struggle', 'end', 'suicidal', 'would', 'say', 'even', 'think', 'often', 'quit', 'go', 'pussy', 'easy', 'way', 'struggle', 'life', 'instead', 'going', 'easy', 'route', 'personally', 'think', 'mankind', 'fear', 'unkown', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'death', 'none', 'really', 'came', 'back', 'actual', 'death', 'reported', 'like', 'actual', 'clinical', 'dead', 'really', 'reason', 'like', 'know', 'going', 'kill', 'yet', 'probably', 'stay', 'way', 'much', 'pussy', 'pussy', 'get', 'mean']
19
after failing once this is how i feel i wish that suicide was funded by the government i wish guns for suicide would be like condoms given to teens so if they are going to do it they do it right i wish euthansia was legal i wish that i wouldnt have to fear buying poison or a gun off the black market because if i get caught my life would get worse 
['failing', 'feel', 'wish', 'suicide', 'wa', 'funded', 'government', 'wish', 'gun', 'suicide', 'would', 'like', 'condom', 'given', 'teen', 'going', 'right', 'wish', 'euthansia', 'wa', 'legal', 'wish', 'wouldnt', 'fear', 'buying', 'poison', 'gun', 'black', 'market', 'get', 'caught', 'life', 'would', 'get', 'worse']
In [ ]:
# Analyze token counts
suicidal_token_counts = []
non_suicidal_token_counts = []

for i in  range(len(cleaned_tweets)):
  if intentions[i] == 1:
    suicidal_token_counts.append(len(cleaned_tweets[i]))
    print(cleaned_tweets[i])
    print(len(cleaned_tweets[i]))
  else:
    # print(cleaned_tweets[i])
    # print(len(cleaned_tweets[i]))
    non_suicidal_token_counts.append(len(cleaned_tweets[i]))
Streaming output truncated to the last 5000 lines.
['still', 'alive', 'lack', 'knowledge', 'heart', 'made', 'miss', 'fatal', 'blow', 'inch', 'away', 'didnt', 'let', 'diei', 'amsick', 'tired', 'people', 'saying', 'got', 'life', 'ahead', 'still', 'young', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'amjust', 'overeacting', 'heart', 'break', 'well', 'heart', 'break', 'killed', 'inside', 'whats', 'wrong', 'completely', 'dead', 'ive', 'got', 'nothing', 'left', 'inside', 'love', 'funny', 'thing', 'matter', 'hard', 'tell', 'meant', 'alot', 'much', 'tell', 'love', 'would', 'sacrifice', 'everything', 'yet', 'look', 'away', 'like', 'feeling', 'doesnt', 'mean', 'anything', 'hard', 'confess', 'love', 'someone', 'adore', 'everything', 'easy', 'say', 'shot', 'missed', 'certain', 'thing', 'want', 'feeling', 'dying', 'seems', 'alot', 'comforting', 'live', 'one', 'second', 'pathetic', 'life']
88
['anymore', 'sorry', 'placebeen', 'depressed', 'long', 'remember', 'always', 'try', 'smile', 'outside', 'insidei', 'amdead', 'anxiety', 'social', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'thinki', 'ambipolar', 'havent', 'got', 'job', 'yet', 'nobody', 'stand', 'nobody', 'tell', 'ok', 'like', 'id', 'believe', 'anyways', 'basically', 'homeless', 'right', 'cant', 'leave', 'mom', 'sister', 'like', 'get', 'place', 'though', 'think', 'itll', 'time', 'cutting', 'wrist', 'see', 'would', 'hurt', 'didnt', 'carved', 'fuck', 'leg', 'didnt', 'feel', 'thing', 'weed', 'fucking', 'lifeline', 'right', 'whenever', 'run', 'come', 'depressed', 'state', 'want', 'sleep', 'day', 'wish', 'would', 'get', 'shot', 'stabbed', 'already', 'longer', 'fear', 'razor', 'though', 'thats', 'probably', 'gonna', 'way', 'dont', 'know', 'exactly', 'know', 'gonna', 'happen', 'cant', 'think', 'straight', 'anymore', 'fuck', 'life']
95
['everyday', 'life', 'everyday', 'wake', 'think', 'suicide', 'even', 'though', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'mean', 'life', 'always', 'alone', 'always', 'searching', 'always', 'fighting', 'always', 'living', 'everyday', 'life', 'empty']
27
['amdonei', 'class', 'mental', 'breakdowni', 'amsick', 'failing', 'committing', 'suicide', 'many', 'attempt', 'wish', 'would', 'work', 'whats', 'quick', 'way', 'achieving', 'suicide', 'get', 'homei', 'amgonna', 'mom', 'youre', 'work', 'time', 'love']
26
['motivation', 'want', 'die', 'cant', 'get', 'motivated', 'anything', 'anymore', 'want', 'succeed', 'life', 'go', 'good', 'university', 'never', 'make', 'effort', 'needed', 'get', 'done', 'rarely', 'get', 'glimpse', 'motivation', 'soon', 'something', 'isnt', 'way', 'thought', 'would', 'plummet', 'lose', 'hope', 'future', 'life', 'every', 'day', 'think', 'want', 'die', 'way', 'think', 'thing', 'stopping', 'would', 'affect', 'family', 'lately', 'cant', 'help', 'thinking', 'might', 'care', 'usually', 'convince', 'lately', 'getting', 'harderi', 'cant', 'maintain', 'normal', 'sleep', 'schedule', 'anymore', 'sleep', 'till', 'pm', 'awake', 'till', 'ive', 'tried', 'talk', 'family', 'even', 'councilors', 'happening', 'ive', 'lost', 'trust', 'telling', 'family', 'thing', 'last', 'councilor', 'started', 'ignore', 'call', 'book', 'appointment', 'whenever', 'try', 'tell', 'people', 'feel', 'cant', 'fully', 'tell', 'truth', 'end', 'lying', 'dont', 'worryi', 'hate', 'everything', 'hate', 'hobby', 'hate', 'failure', 'hate', 'put', 'mask', 'keep', 'friend', 'family', 'worrying', 'lately', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'living', 'amstruggling', 'keeping', 'emotion', 'check', 'one', 'minute', 'happy', 'sitting', 'watching', 'show', 'next', 'minute', 'super', 'sad', 'thinking', 'want', 'die', 'super', 'angry', 'wanting', 'break', 'somethingi', 'dont', 'know', 'posted', 'maybe', 'last', 'ditch', 'effort', 'see', 'anyone', 'bother', 'reply', 'say', 'something', 'might', 'help', 'fear', 'one', 'day', 'something', 'happen', 'close', 'family', 'member', 'friend', 'breaking', 'point', 'wont', 'able', 'convince', 'end', 'life']
173
['amshaking', 'feel', 'alone', 'nothing', 'matter', 'number', 'thats', 'number', 'got', 'line', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'even', 'think', 'people', 'front', 'make', 'feel', 'utterly', 'pointlessim', 'work', 'everyone', 'carrying', 'wa', 'thinking', 'hanging', 'work', 'home', 'like', 'anyone', 'would', 'notice', 'wife', 'got', 'hometold', 'really', 'need', 'therapy', 'visit', 'earliest', 'availability', 'therapist', 'time', 'get', 'work', 'asked', 'could', 'ask', 'early', 'say', 'understands', 'want', 'toher', 'job', 'make', 'happy', 'unlike', 'mine', 'make', 'want', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'amtrapped', 'house', 'computer', 'barely', 'understand', 'thingsi', 'amjust', 'barely', 'capable', 'incapable', 'always', 'hanging', 'thread', 'today', 'feel', 'like', 'good', 'day', 'cant', 'leave', 'job', 'without', 'marked', 'failure', 'lot', 'people', 'depend', 'sole', 'person', 'working', 'big', 'project', 'company', 'cant', 'bear', 'quit', 'spot', 'blacklisted', 'job', 'ive', 'ever', 'really', 'held', 'main', 'career', 'fieldim', 'breadwinner', 'wife', 'want', 'job', 'important', 'since', 'help', 'escape', 'depressionanxiety', 'world', 'going', 'end', 'soon', 'anyways', 'whether', 'super', 'volcano', 'another', 'world', 'war', 'least', 'lived', 'good', 'timesat', 'point', 'dont', 'even', 'work', 'stare', 'blankly', 'screen', 'waiting', 'time', 'roll', 'around', 'hoping', 'die', 'heart', 'attack', 'anxiety', 'least', 'say', 'worked', 'death', 'even', 'would', 'lie', 'nothing', 'day', 'every', 'day', 'dead', 'would', 'better', 'leech', 'honest', 'good', 'company', 'people', 'depend', 'livelyhoodmy', 'wife', 'doesnt', 'care', 'feel', 'know', 'know', 'shes', 'put', 'first', 'get', 'id', 'feel', 'horrendously', 'awful', 'want', 'pain', 'go', 'away']
187
['every', 'night', 'dream', 'different', 'way', 'kill', 'ive', 'watching', 'show', 'hannibal', 'recently', 'think', 'ha', 'sparked', 'pretty', 'wild', 'dream', 'always', 'vivid', 'realistic', 'dream', 'lately', 'committing', 'suicide', 'gorey', 'spellingi', 'want', 'endi', 'lost', 'job', 'june', 'fucked', 'since', 'could', 'ask', 'family', 'borrow', 'money', 'theyve', 'already', 'helped', 'much', 'without', 'asking', 'feel', 'guilty', 'asking', 'even', 'applied', 'drive', 'lyft', 'inspection', 'car', 'gas', 'soi', 'amstuck', 'rock', 'hard', 'place', 'whats', 'really', 'stressing', 'right', 'lost', 'job', 'got', 'ticket', 'marijuana', 'possession', 'car', 'valid', 'doctor', 'recommendation', 'since', 'bowl', 'packed', 'front', 'seat', 'gave', 'ticket', 'reason', 'wa', 'pulled', 'wa', 'expired', 'registration', 'ive', 'paid', 'since', 'went', 'onto', 'court', 'website', 'told', 'qualified', 'pay', 'fixit', 'portion', 'registration', 'believe', 'bank', 'account', 'overdrawn', 'maybe', 'coin', 'otherwise', 'ticket', 'said', 'around', 'allowed', 'postpone', 'court', 'date', 'month', 'day', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'really', 'ask', 'family', 'dont', 'condone', 'smoking', 'weed', 'know', 'need', 'get', 'original', 'ticket', 'siged', 'prove', 'registration', 'valid', 'still', 'way', 'paying', 'either', 'fix', 'portion', 'willegal', 'possession', 'portion', 'ticketthe', 'thing', 'keeping', 'quitting', 'cat', 'everything', 'doesnt', 'get', 'along', 'anyone', 'know', 'would', 'devastated', 'left', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'leave', 'feel', 'though', 'isnt', 'another', 'choice', 'rescued', 'another', 'kitten', 'street', 'best', 'friend', 'found', 'opened', 'care', 'credit', 'card', 'pay', 'vet', 'visit', 'calling', 'every', 'day', 'past', 'month', 'asking', 'payment', 'dont', 'put', 'adoption', 'craigslist', 'fight', 'cat', 'constantly', 'piss', 'end', 'wa', 'looking', 'forward', 'buck', 'get', 'started', 'lyft', 'maybe', 'start', 'paying', 'thing', 'back', 'brother', 'girlfriend', 'found', 'want', 'take', 'mom', 'feel', 'terrible', 'asking', 'money', 'didnt', 'said', 'pick', 'friday', 'night', 'really', 'need', 'money', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'feel', 'hopeless']
234
['family', 'go', 'homeless', 'sorry', 'posting', 'though', 'family', 'go', 'homeless', 'case', 'happening', 'gonna', 'say', 'fuck', 'cant', 'comeback', 'situation', 'like', 'greece']
19
['sure', 'ifi', 'right', 'place', 'thing', 'came', 'head', 'tonighti', 'fighting', 'wife', 'mother', 'dying', 'stage', 'lung', 'cancer', 'ha', 'spread', 'lymph', 'node', 'neck', 'cutting', 'right', 'lung', 'add', 'year', 'depression', 'get', 'staring', 'end', 'shot', 'gun', 'wa', 'debating', 'getting', 'something', 'wa', 'trying', 'chantix', 'quit', 'smoking', 'quitter', 'wa', 'wondering', 'ha', 'anti', 'depressant', 'treated', 'also', 'getting', 'something', 'cause', 'literally', 'toit', 'wa', 'straight', 'break', 'recurring', 'issue', 'still', 'aware', 'enough', 'know', 'serious', 'af']
64
['scream', 'attention', 'read', 'story', 'tell', 'hi', 'reddit', 'writing', 'post', 'feel', 'realy', 'bad', 'last', 'month', 'getting', 'better', 'year', 'old', 'go', 'school', 'monday', 'till', 'friday', 'every', 'time', 'come', 'home', 'school', 'get', 'overwhelmed', 'feeling', 'completly', 'alone', 'one', 'tell', 'story', 'wont', 'think', 'crazy', 'post', 'reddit', 'sorry', 'going', 'lot', 'grammar', 'spelling', 'mistake', 'english', 'isnt', 'first', 'languagewhere', 'startedit', 'started', 'half', 'year', 'ago', 'realised', 'wa', 'friend', 'group', 'treated', 'like', 'shit', 'invited', 'bc', 'money', 'made', 'deccision', 'hang', 'hang', 'friend', 'friend', 'school', 'friend', 'school', 'always', 'feel', 'alone', 'relationship', 'dad', 'ha', 'ups', 'dad', 'alcoholic', 'get', 'realy', 'agressive', 'get', 'drunk', 'often', 'lead', 'time', 'hitting', 'happens', 'pretty', 'often', 'friend', 'used', 'hang', 'started', 'hating', 'school', 'saw', 'ugly', 'girl', 'came', 'sais', 'founded', 'girlfriend', 'every', 'walk', 'thru', 'halways', 'started', 'shouting', 'name', 'first', 'thought', 'wa', 'something', 'silly', 'would', 'pas', 'away', 'ignored', 'got', 'worse', 'started', 'coming', 'house', 'night', 'somtimes', 'piss', 'front', 'yard', 'started', 'intimidating', 'would', 'give', 'money', 'kicked', 'ground', 'several', 'timeswhat', 'nextone', 'time', 'wa', 'feeling', 'bad', 'told', 'best', 'friend', 'thought', 'would', 'understand', 'instead', 'called', 'pussy', 'think', 'also', 'little', 'friend', 'guy', 'afraid', 'back', 'happend', 'yesterdayso', 'best', 'friend', 'also', 'left', 'thought', 'wa', 'option', 'kill', 'parent', 'away', 'grapped', 'rope', 'tighted', 'around', 'neck', 'wooden', 'plank', 'right', 'ceiling', 'room', 'jumped', 'chair', 'almost', 'passed', 'away', 'wooden', 'plank', 'broke', 'fell', 'started', 'panic', 'threw', 'rope', 'away', 'told', 'father', 'broke', 'plank', 'wa', 'playing', 'around', 'wasnt', 'paying', 'attenion', 'asking', 'beacause', 'going', 'attempt', 'kill', 'life', 'living', 'right', 'making', 'feel', 'worse', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'know', 'lot', 'worse', 'life', 'dont', 'feel', 'safe', 'nowhere', 'home', 'school', 'dont', 'friend', 'go', 'anymore', 'get', 'situation']
241
['pill', 'pill', 'pill', 'process', 'third', 'od', 'month', 'time', 'going', 'work', 'stomach', 'already', 'severely', 'fuckeda', 'friend', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'last', 'night', 'three', 'others', 'self', 'harming', 'regularly', 'flatmate', 'mad', 'psychiatrist', 'super', 'overbearinghope', 'everyone', 'else', 'alright']
32
['thursday', 'th', 'ive', 'planning', 'suicide', 'thursday', 'th', 'month', 'day', 'mock', 'exam', 'take', 'place', 'dont', 'even', 'feel', 'ounce', 'stress', 'anything', 'stop', 'ever', 'putting', 'work', 'anything', 'ive', 'got', 'futurei', 'scared', 'take', 'single', 'step', 'comfort', 'zone', 'anxious', 'ask', 'help', 'past', 'week', 'ive', 'spent', 'night', 'bed', 'wanting', 'cry', 'badly', 'nothing', 'comesi', 'amjust', 'void', 'nothingness', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'talk', 'close', 'friend', 'come', 'across', 'attention', 'seekingi', 'amjust', 'going', 'see', 'school', 'day', 'probably', 'end', 'finally']
68
['sure', 'much', 'longer', 'really', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'anything', 'drastic', 'want', 'get', 'cycle', 'failure', 'sadness', 'selfhate', 'dont', 'like', 'asking', 'help', 'coping', 'much', 'grave', 'issue', 'year', 'old', 'master', 'student', 'wa', 'brink', 'suicide', 'last', 'year', 'biggest', 'problem', 'life', 'ha', 'selfdiagnosed', 'adhdor', 'maybei', 'amjust', 'useless', 'even', 'though', 'unintelligent', 'adhd', 'ha', 'prevented', 'achieving', 'anything', 'significant', 'present', 'course', 'quite', 'well', 'becausei', 'amstudying', 'time', 'make', 'poor', 'quality', 'number', 'personal', 'disaster', 'also', 'occurredmy', 'gf', 'died', 'earlier', 'year', 'suffering', 'severe', 'ailment', 'various', 'kind', 'finally', 'got', 'selected', 'field', 'trip', 'programme', 'germany', 'thought', 'would', 'big', 'break', 'insurance', 'company', 'fucked', 'policy', 'lengthening', 'wait', 'visa', 'study', 'town', 'also', 'unpleasant', 'place', 'simply', 'adding', 'morass', 'unpleasant', 'thought', 'going', 'mind', 'right', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'part', 'even', 'regret', 'committing', 'suicide', 'last', 'year', 'simply', 'option', 'anymore']
118
['pill', 'didnt', 'work', 'tonight', 'hang', 'stomach', 'pumping', 'fun', 'tonight', 'hang']
10
['well', 'today', 'day', 'ive', 'today', 'picked', 'awhile', 'mixture', 'emotion', 'plan', 'tonight', 'still', 'go', 'buy', 'gun', 'freaking', 'lazyi', 'amworried', 'wont', 'motivated', 'enough', 'go', 'get', 'gun', 'place', 'open', 'early', 'close', 'early', 'wont', 'able', 'get', 'sleep', 'want', 'go', 'get', 'would', 'easier', 'thursday', 'wont', 'work', 'want', 'ask', 'borrow', 'el', 'gun', 'everyone', 'know', 'id', 'want', 'iti', 'sleepy', 'wanted', 'tell', 'guy', 'today', 'wa', 'last', 'dayim', 'going', 'play', 'destiny', 'go', 'bed', 'pretty', 'bad', 'actually', 'small', 'amount', 'power', 'live', 'longer', 'want', 'play', 'destiny']
75
['fuck', 'wa', 'diagnosed', 'shizophrenia', 'chillpills', 'well', 'bat', 'nowi', 'ambeing', 'given', 'shizo', 'pill', 'shizo', 'pill', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'antidepressant', 'either', 'worst', 'part', 'thati', 'allowed', 'use', 'else', 'dont', 'get', 'support', 'money', 'gov', 'supposedlyi', 'pissed', 'right', 'nowall', 'want', 'talk', 'psychotherapist', 'thats', 'expensive', 'thats', 'need', 'support', 'money', 'forand', 'previous', 'pill', 'risperidone', 'made', 'gain', 'weight', 'grow', 'pair', 'tit', 'thats', 'right', 'friend', 'pair', 'fucking', 'mantits', 'fucking', 'hurt', 'wish', 'go', 'away', 'somehowi', 'cant', 'even', 'put', 'word', 'terribly', 'angry', 'bad', 'feel', 'right', 'nowi', 'ampast', 'bedtime', 'cant', 'give', 'fuck', 'right', 'want', 'die', 'already', 'wish', 'never', 'existed', 'wish', 'shit', 'never', 'fucking', 'happened', 'didnt', 'deserve', 'year', 'ago', 'dont', 'deserve', 'wa', 'reason', 'shit', 'happen']
101
['hey', 'sw', 'girlfriend', 'yesterday', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'od', 'pill', 'say', 'ive', 'struggling', 'depression', 'three', 'half', 'yearsi', 'amsixteen', 'girlfriend', 'fifteen', 'ha', 'struggling', 'depression', 'mental', 'willnesses', 'five', 'yearsscreenshots', 'given', 'absolutely', 'necessary', 'please', 'ask', 'questionsi', 'open', 'book', 'ask', 'anything', 'purpose', 'helping', 'herthanks', 'reading', 'sincerely', 'hope', 'get', 'together']
43
['want', 'ask', 'help', 'family', 'change', 'view', 'permanently', 'afraid', 'fucking', 'everything', 'time', 'cant', 'stop', 'cry', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'love', 'know', 'doi', 'amjust', 'fucked', 'mind', 'state', 'right', 'know', 'tell', 'feel', 'theyll', 'supportive', 'help', 'know', 'itll', 'change', 'view', 'treatment', 'permanently', 'cried', 'sleep', 'last', 'night', 'thought', 'id', 'start', 'feel', 'better', 'today', 'shit', 'happening', 'wanna', 'die', 'wont', 'dont', 'gut', 'freaking', 'howi', 'amfeeling', 'right', 'becausei', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'somethings', 'wrong', 'menow', 'thati', 'amactually', 'genuinely', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'thoughtsfeelings', 'arent', 'leaving', 'ask', 'help', 'afraid', 'theyll', 'think', 'dont', 'want', 'view', 'pathetic', 'sick', 'especially', 'comparison', 'older', 'sister', 'saying', 'might', 'depression', 'going', 'change', 'everything', 'two', 'day', 'straight', 'feel', 'low', 'draining', 'life', 'please', 'help']
101
['wrong', 'ex', 'boyfriend', 'broke', 'figure', 'life', 'wa', 'reason', 'liked', 'alive', 'wa', 'flame', 'something', 'look', 'forward', 'reason', 'improve', 'without', 'desire', 'live', 'desire', 'improve', 'nothing', 'get', 'unfair', 'cant', 'help', 'cant', 'find', 'internal', 'motivation', 'live', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'happen', 'doesnt', 'come', 'back']
40
['wish', 'could', 'escape', 'everything', 'little', 'difficult', 'escape', 'whats', 'head', 'wish', 'could', 'kill', 'want', 'badly', 'think', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'mean', 'escapeeverything', 'life', 'filled', 'pain', 'seem', 'constantly', 'afflicted', 'sort', 'psychological', 'torment', 'another', 'everything', 'hurt', 'way', 'constant', 'black', 'pit', 'negative', 'emotion', 'eating', 'inside', 'cant', 'take', 'eats', 'away', 'soul', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'anymore', 'ever', 'depression', 'everything', 'come', 'along', 'iti', 'want', 'escape', 'want', 'gone', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'way', 'anymore', 'want', 'everything', 'okay', 'onceits', 'long', 'though', 'long', 'mental', 'willnesses', 'began', 'wa', 'around', 'year', 'oldi', 'along', 'way', 'depression', 'sort', 'became', 'part', 'part', 'identityit', 'eats', 'away', 'soul', 'take', 'placei', 'hate', 'iti', 'hate', 'emotional', 'pain', 'mental', 'agony', 'hate', 'constant', 'stress', 'anxiety', 'hate', 'terror', 'despair', 'hate', 'useless', 'worthless', 'hate', 'unable', 'live', 'life', 'due', 'sickness', 'ha', 'permeated', 'core', 'beingi', 'want', 'gone', 'want', 'okay', 'hopelessive', 'tried', 'much', 'noone', 'help', 'cant', 'help', 'seem', 'utterly', 'incapable', 'matter', 'hard', 'try', 'cant', 'feel', 'like', 'pain', 'ha', 'become', 'integral', 'part', 'matter', 'anyone', 'else', 'doe', 'cannot', 'separate', 'iti', 'cant', 'escape', 'itnot', 'unless', 'kill', 'option', 'available', 'escape', 'havei', 'wish', 'could', 'iti', 'tired', 'feeling', 'way', 'cant', 'take', 'iti', 'weaki', 'want', 'escape']
171
['stop', 'desire', 'kill', 'actually', 'got', 'looking', 'google', 'convince', 'suicide', 'got', 'lot', 'page', 'trying', 'convince', 'stay', 'alive', 'wish', 'could', 'stop', 'mind', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'reading', 'web', 'talking', 'good', 'thing', 'mind', 'doesnt', 'stop', 'literally', 'sleeping', 'eating', 'got', 'la', 'day', 'working', 'home', 'based', 'business', 'cant', 'even', 'step', 'bed', 'last', 'night', 'put', 'q', 'lot', 'effort', 'get', 'shower', 'needed', 'relax', 'stop', 'stupid', 'mind', 'work', 'wa', 'almost', 'went', 'grab', 'something', 'cut', 'wrist', 'tought', 'mom', 'could', 'start', 'cry', 'doesnt', 'deserve', 'pain', 'death', 'daughter', 'stayed', 'shower', 'couple', 'minute', 'trying', 'put', 'together', 'went', 'sleep', 'lot', 'bad', 'dream', 'morning', 'story', 'energy', 'streght', 'step', 'bed', 'get', 'something', 'eat', 'want', 'looking', 'way', 'die', 'cant', 'fail', 'try', 'could', 'live', 'shame', 'doe', 'anybody', 'overcome', 'darl', 'phase', 'think', 'good', 'reason', 'stay', 'alive', 'actually', 'love', 'live', 'depressed', 'know', 'manage', 'thought', 'feel', 'scary', 'mind', 'know', 'long', 'keep', 'trying', 'listen', 'part', 'want', 'death']
134
['open', 'apology', 'one', 'everyone', 'sort', 'apology', 'postits', 'directed', 'toward', 'anyone', 'really', 'time', 'directed', 'toward', 'everyone', 'split', 'paragraph', 'easier', 'readim', 'sorry', 'dont', 'post', 'quality', 'content', 'social', 'mediai', 'sorry', 'post', 'arent', 'standardsi', 'sorry', 'try', 'god', 'damn', 'hard', 'please', 'guy', 'still', 'isnt', 'enough', 'post', 'time', 'day', 'social', 'medium', 'get', 'zero', 'comment', 'yet', 'time', 'see', 'people', 'le', 'follower', 'get', 'hundred', 'hundred', 'comment', 'post', 'combinedi', 'cant', 'exactly', 'complain', 'every', 'time', 'get', 'excuse', 'againsorry', 'wa', 'busy', 'sorry', 'schoolwork', 'sorry', 'wa', 'hanging', 'familysorry', 'sorry', 'sorry', 'hear', 'isi', 'sorry', 'everyone', 'say', 'sorry', 'yet', 'nobody', 'make', 'effort', 'interact', 'mei', 'know', 'sound', 'like', 'broken', 'record', 'true', 'feel', 'likei', 'amsaying', 'crap', 'every', 'day', 'life', 'old', 'account', 'google', 'wa', 'fifteen', 'follower', 'dont', 'remember', 'exact', 'amount', 'exact', 'amount', 'follwers', 'google', 'back', 'wa', 'actually', 'popularback', 'didnt', 'even', 'need', 'tag', 'people', 'post', 'every', 'post', 'made', 'would', 'get', 'much', 'comment', 'smy', 'favorite', 'part', 'using', 'google', 'wa', 'popular', 'wa', 'always', 'one', 'post', 'got', 'hundred', 'hundred', 'like', 'share', 'got', 'zero', 'commentsthats', 'case', 'tag', 'people', 'every', 'single', 'post', 'make', 'else', 'post', 'get', 'zero', 'comment', 'barely', 'get', 'three', 'likesthis', 'isnt', 'cry', 'attention', 'way', 'simple', 'observation', 'posted', 'content', 'reasoni', 'amignored', 'nowim', 'sorryi', 'attractivei', 'sorryi', 'attractivei', 'sorryi', 'perfect', 'fucking', 'modeli', 'sorry', 'weigh', 'two', 'hundred', 'pound', 'thirty', 'stretch', 'mark', 'god', 'damn', 'body', 'make', 'feel', 'sad', 'actually', 'afraid', 'show', 'picture', 'anymoreill', 'talk', 'girl', 'well', 'become', 'best', 'friend', 'second', 'show', 'look', 'like', 'tell', 'gotta', 'goi', 'hear', 'lie', 'time', 'gotta', 'go', 'brb', 'gotta', 'go', 'hang', 'family', 'need', 'leave', 'bitthey', 'always', 'say', 'show', 'pic', 'never', 'talk', 'best', 'block', 'metheyd', 'rather', 'block', 'tell', 'truth', 'dont', 'like', 'suck', 'post', 'picture', 'social', 'medium', 'filter', 'people', 'make', 'fun', 'call', 'ugly', 'call', 'thirty', 'year', 'old', 'pedophilei', 'guy', 'stop', 'one', 'time', 'posted', 'picture', 'someone', 'said', 'youre', 'ugly', 'bullshit', 'people', 'actually', 'find', 'cute', 'theyre', 'lying', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'yet', 'arent', 'supposed', 'post', 'picture', 'get', 'girlfriend', 'onlineim', 'sorryi', 'par', 'dating', 'etiquittei', 'sorry', 'ive', 'never', 'girlfriend', 'life', 'guess', 'make', 'undateablei', 'year', 'old', 'single', 'virgin', 'never', 'even', 'first', 'kiss', 'every', 'time', 'get', 'together', 'girl', 'leaf', 'three', 'day', 'make', 'feel', 'pathetic', 'inadequate', 'woman', 'stay', 'longer', 'one', 'pity', 'woman', 'stay', 'find', 'excuse', 'leave', 'find', 'excuse', 'fucking', 'take', 'nobody', 'want', 'date', 'make', 'feel', 'pathetic', 'entire', 'god', 'damn', 'summer', 'never', 'left', 'apartment', 'felt', 'insecure', 'seeing', 'people', 'relationship', 'one', 'time', 'started', 'socializing', 'apartment', 'pool', 'found', 'decently', 'attractive', 'woman', 'thirty', 'surprise', 'ha', 'boyfriendim', 'sorry', 'existi', 'sorry', 'wa', 'even', 'born', 'world', 'people', 'make', 'obvious', 'dont', 'want', 'around', 'unless', 'initiate', 'conversation', 'nobody', 'text', 'want', 'something', 'never', 'time', 'else', 'feel', 'alone', 'time', 'friend', 'two', 'best', 'friend', 'irl', 'left', 'one', 'cut', 'life', 'wa', 'appeasing', 'moved', 'id', 'kill', 'suicidal', 'noti', 'amjust', 'really', 'deeply', 'depressedi', 'failed', 'abortion', 'parent', 'wanted', 'wa', 'stillborn', 'wish', 'parent', 'left', 'deadim', 'sorry', 'everything']
428
['getting', 'chest', 'good', 'person', 'treat', 'people', 'care', 'like', 'shit', 'lie', 'constantly', 'steal', 'generally', 'shitty', 'person', 'happy', 'doubt', 'ever', 'felt', 'way', 'since', 'wa', 'seven', 'fucking', 'seven', 'half', 'life', 'spent', 'hating', 'wishing', 'wa', 'dead', 'probably', 'going', 'way', 'rest', 'life', 'fucking', 'terrifies', 'tried', 'get', 'better', 'medication', 'either', 'make', 'worse', 'help', 'therapy', 'arsehole', 'trying', 'force', 'idea', 'issue', 'onto', 'fit', 'neat', 'little', 'box', 'sent', 'hospital', 'worried', 'wa', 'going', 'kill', 'nothing', 'help', 'point', 'convinced', 'way', 'get', 'better', 'find', 'way', 'solve', 'problem', 'spent', 'last', 'twelve', 'year', 'trying', 'get', 'better', 'weak', 'family', 'incredibly', 'supportive', 'rely', 'know', 'feeling', 'shit', 'try', 'help', 'make', 'feel', 'ten', 'time', 'worse', 'tear', 'apart', 'knowing', 'going', 'way', 'try', 'help', 'seem', 'cock', 'everything', 'dropped', 'two', 'college', 'hold', 'job', 'much', 'going', 'social', 'front', 'either', 'cut', 'friend', 'except', 'one', 'person', 'get', 'soon', 'tried', 'make', 'new', 'friend', 'picked', 'new', 'hobby', 'got', 'house', 'meet', 'new', 'people', 'work', 'people', 'seem', 'like', 'moment', 'never', 'want', 'actually', 'around', 'told', 'across', 'weird', 'rude', 'get', 'kinda', 'aggressive', 'time', 'mean', 'hate', 'like', 'want', 'like', 'want', 'people', 'like', 'wa', 'meant', 'meeting', 'someone', 'see', 'testing', 'see', 'autism', 'spectrum', 'materialize', 'honest', 'lonely', 'thought', 'around', 'people', 'terrifies', 'friend', 'mentioned', 'met', 'online', 'year', 'ago', 'became', 'best', 'friend', 'ever', 'love', 'like', 'brother', 'honestly', 'reason', 'hung', 'yet', 'matter', 'much', 'want', 'would', 'fucking', 'devastate', 'ha', 'problem', 'deal', 'dumping', 'mine', 'want', 'stop', 'hurting', 'sick', 'feeling', 'way', 'know', 'thanks', 'reading', 'reddit', 'needed', 'get', 'chest']
218
['want', 'say', 'goodbye', 'bad', 'cant', 'cant', 'someone', 'murder', 'freak', 'accident', 'happen']
11
['suicide', 'family', 'really', 'poor', 'live', 'europe', 'tired', 'live', 'povetry', 'depressing', 'even', 'though', 'everything', 'edd', 'father', 'close', 'meat', 'shop', 'mother', 'getting', 'euro', 'month', 'good', 'school', 'care', 'tell', 'opinion', 'also', 'passion', 'basketball', 'video', 'game', 'know', 'cannot', 'pro', 'basketball', 'player', 'cant', 'wanna', 'follow', 'video', 'game', 'creation', 'everyone', 'harasses', 'economical', 'state', 'cant', 'stand', 'literally', 'working', 'hard', 'train', 'basketball', 'get', 'profiencecy', 'degree', 'english', 'know', 'et', 'euro', 'fail', 'depressed', 'paents', 'say', 'wasted', 'much', 'money', 'dont', 'get', 'wrong', 'parent', 'love', 'sister', 'economical', 'state', 'everything', 'seems', 'black']
79
['dont', 'like', 'living', 'hate', 'people', 'say', 'thing', 'life', 'fixable', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'due', 'personal', 'problemsi', 'hate', 'people', 'say', 'well', 'find', 'job', 'love', 'hate', 'concept', 'work', 'nothing', 'thati', 'ampassionate', 'want', 'turn', 'full', 'time', 'job', 'even', 'wa', 'dont', 'want', 'passion', 'turn', 'yet', 'another', 'mean', 'making', 'money', 'maybe', 'college', 'degree', 'option', 'youre', 'able', 'achieve', 'u', 'working', 'shit', 'job', 'degree', 'everyone', 'drop', 'everything', 'life', 'live', 'van', 'travel', 'worldi', 'hate', 'human', 'hate', 'people', 'make', 'assumption', 'people', 'appearance', 'dont', 'bother', 'see', 'think', 'true', 'hate', 'outgoing', 'narcissistic', 'people', 'get', 'ahead', 'way', 'le', 'popular', 'mean', 'le', 'qualified', 'hate', 'stupid', 'vapid', 'easily', 'manipulated', 'human', 'world', 'popularity', 'competition', 'based', 'many', 'people', 'like', 'go', 'way', 'force', 'people', 'like', 'society', 'wa', 'shaped', 'narcissistic', 'sociopath', 'benefit', 'dont', 'care', 'friend', 'family', 'react', 'emotion', 'temporary', 'remember', 'emotion', 'last', 'forever', 'someday', 'maybe', 'month', 'year', 'theyll', 'get', 'life', 'doesnt', 'stop', 'one', 'person', 'commits', 'suicide', 'like', 'conscious', 'regret', 'miss', 'anything', 'id', 'rather', 'die', 'go', 'trying', 'pretend', 'like', 'anyone', 'else', 'never', 'popular', 'outgoing', 'person', 'everyone', 'flock', 'isnt', 'cant', 'go', 'back', 'blinding', 'optimism', 'ive', 'seen', 'much', 'terrible', 'shit', 'life', 'cruel', 'heartless', 'worth', 'enduring', 'see', 'suicide', 'way', 'opt', 'permanently']
178
['want', 'pain', 'stop', 'two', 'night', 'ago', 'prayed', 'wouldnt', 'wake', 'every', 'day', 'mind', 'crowded', 'thought', 'worthlessness', 'want', 'pain', 'stop']
18
['found', 'love', 'life', 'engaged', 'someone', 'elsei', 'tired', 'trying', 'improve', 'life', 'chose', 'ruin', 'ending', 'weekend', 'dont', 'love', 'every', 'sigle', 'person', 'community', 'reddit', 'love', 'understands', 'talent', 'show', 'world']
26
['people', 'mean', 'must', 'sensitive', 'world', 'sensitive', 'cry', 'easily', 'emotionally', 'affected', 'everything', 'almost', 'hate', 'anxiety', 'cant', 'talk', 'people', 'cant', 'handle', 'aggression', 'dont', 'want', 'world', 'feel', 'cold', 'cruel', 'distant', 'feel', 'like', 'scared', 'deer', 'alone']
32
['dont', 'like', 'life', 'certainly', 'doesnt', 'like', 'fun', 'outgoing', 'person', 'week', 'drop', 'hat', 'wake', 'different', 'person', 'barely', 'leave', 'bed', 'weight', 'existence', 'heavy', 'dont', 'ball', 'kill', 'right', 'come', 'close', 'past', 'sure', 'itll', 'happen', 'future', 'even', 'manic', 'state', 'anxiety', 'knowing', 'temporary', 'drive', 'insane', 'like', 'different', 'version', 'living', 'head', 'constantly', 'fight', 'whoi', 'amgonna', 'one', 'winning', 'time', 'numb', 'feel', 'disconnected', 'cant', 'remember', 'last', 'time', 'wa', 'close', 'person', 'ive', 'never', 'even', 'felt', 'part', 'family', 'one', 'care', 'one', 'carei', 'hate', 'job', 'people', 'treat', 'like', 'shit', 'dont', 'make', 'enough', 'money', 'dropped', 'college', 'impulse', 'manic', 'state', 'missed', 'window', 'opportunity', 'one', 'directioni', 'amfati', 'well', 'spokeni', 'smarti', 'really', 'good', 'anything', 'nothing', 'going', 'mei', 'realize', 'place', 'post', 'really', 'train', 'thoughti', 'amjust', 'venting', 'depressing', 'subreddit', 'know', 'want', 'die', 'eventually', 'one', 'else', 'even', 'try', 'talk', 'dont', 'even', 'care', 'enough', 'hide', 'behind', 'throwaway', 'accountthe', 'worst', 'part', 'knowing', 'matter', 'hard', 'try', 'matter', 'matter', 'progress', 'make', 'never', 'truly', 'better', 'thats', 'make', 'look', 'forward', 'someday', 'know', 'endsi', 'amjust', 'waiting', 'credit', 'rollill', 'never', 'ok', 'feel', 'alone', 'timei', 'looking', 'forward', 'inevitable', 'end', 'hope', 'make', 'friend', 'sort', 'life']
167
['please', 'tell', 'okay', 'die', 'throwaway', 'timei', 'posted', 'year', 'ago', 'throwaway', 'first', 'serious', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'depression', 'ha', 'lasted', 'year', 'time', 'thoughi', 'amjust', 'tired', 'keep', 'goingi', 'kind', 'happy', 'accomplishing', 'thing', 'alone', 'figured', 'year', 'depression', 'first', 'real', 'attempt', 'suicidei', 'happy', 'unless', 'share', 'someone', 'else', 'found', 'first', 'love', 'shortly', 'year', 'wa', 'happiest', 'life', 'losing', 'cheated', 'lost', 'everything', 'worse', 'wa', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'multiple', 'time', 'year', 'year', 'held', 'daily', 'panic', 'attack', 'nightmare', 'hope', 'someone', 'else', 'worth', 'someone', 'deserved', 'long', 'painful', 'hollow', 'year', 'found', 'finally', 'second', 'chance', 'year', 'wa', 'able', 'see', 'future', 'color', 'life', 'lost', 'someone', 'else', 'life', 'loop', 'nightmaresi', 'dont', 'feel', 'anything', 'anymore', 'thought', 'end', 'soon', 'future', 'one', 'want', 'live', 'pain', 'year', 'year', 'like', 'wishing', 'wa', 'dead', 'wishing', 'done', 'sooneri', 'amdone', 'say', 'triedi', 'want', 'end', 'soon', 'time', 'wont', 'wake', 'living', 'nightmare', 'need', 'know', 'okay', 'die', 'okay', 'let', 'go', 'okay', 'sleep', 'forget', 'hurt', 'always', 'love', 'please', 'let', 'hold', 'last', 'two', 'year', 'happiness', 'let', 'dream', 'forevermore']
148
['amending', 'life', 'tonight', 'cant', 'take', 'cant', 'draw', 'shit', 'cant', 'get', 'good', 'grade', 'cant', 'make', 'friend', 'cant', 'anythingi', 'amfucking', 'pathetic', 'one', 'miss', 'anyways', 'dad', 'busy', 'getting', 'drunk', 'even', 'speak', 'short', 'sweetpeace', 'kekistanis', 'mike']
32
['seems', 'way', 'forward', 'deleted']
4
['word', 'go', 'hang', 'year', 'old', 'virgin', 'friend', 'relative', 'shit', 'job', 'future', 'prospect', 'world', 'better', 'without', 'goodbye', 'everybody']
17
['want', 'love', 'affection', 'want', 'affection', 'never', 'got', 'kid', 'frank', 'none', 'friend', 'care', 'none', 'love', 'back', 'ever', 'since', 'th', 'grade', 'ive', 'always', 'wanted', 'girlfriend', 'cool', 'experience', 'raw', 'feeling', 'loved', 'love', 'senior', 'nothing', 'hurt', 'rejected', 'one', 'truly', 'love', 'care', 'reject', 'tell', 'arent', 'good', 'enough', 'friend', 'cared', 'told', 'everything', 'wa', 'big', 'part', 'thought', 'hate', 'mushy', 'vulnerable', 'cant', 'escape', 'feeling', 'longer', 'life', 'go', 'larger', 'desire', 'cared', 'life', 'beginning', 'spire', 'one', 'reason', 'whyi', 'pathetic', 'disgusting', 'saying', 'thing', 'want', 'someone', 'spend', 'time', 'girlfriend', 'really', 'hurt', 'say', 'sorry']
81
['really', 'want', 'end', 'iti', 'amsitting', 'floor', 'drank', 'bottle', 'wine', 'listening', 'legend', 'zelda', 'oot', 'start', 'screen', 'music', 'life', 'going', 'nowherei', 'debt', 'college', 'loan', 'dropped', 'college', 'multiple', 'time', 'depression', 'maybe', 'laziness', 'likely', 'work', 'dollar', 'store', 'making', 'barely', 'anything', 'cant', 'even', 'pay', 'phone', 'billi', 'amliving', 'friend', 'gf', 'think', 'theyre', 'getting', 'sick', 'nothing', 'contribute', 'world', 'job', 'thatll', 'pay', 'better', 'stuff', 'thatll', 'switching', 'soon', 'amprobably', 'going', 'fuck', 'somehow', 'like', 'always', 'joined', 'air', 'force', 'got', 'kicked', 'boot', 'camp', 'stress', 'fracture', 'cant', 'seem', 'good', 'anything', 'besides', 'menial', 'labor', 'want', 'kill', 'ive', 'cut', 'recently', 'even', 'thoughi', 'havent', 'done', 'much', 'want', 'say', 'leave', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'live', 'anympre', 'becausei', 'worthless', 'completely', 'fucking', 'worthless']
104
['kind', 'prep', 'suicide', 'sure', 'break', 'dont', 'explicit', 'method', 'rulebasically', 'people', 'going', 'commit', 'suicide', 'anything', 'else', 'besides', 'maybe', 'writing', 'note', 'make', 'close', 'account', 'pack', 'sell', 'thing', 'maybe', 'even', 'take', 'life', 'insurance', 'policy', 'several', 'year', 'advancei', 'think', 'already', 'going', 'bad', 'people', 'care', 'dont', 'want', 'hassle', 'necessary']
44
['think', 'timei', 'contemplated', 'killing', 'year', 'kind', 'hit', 'point', 'great', 'family', 'good', 'life', 'everything', 'need', 'dont', 'see', 'purpose', 'life', 'wake', 'every', 'morning', 'curse', 'punch', 'wall', 'hate', 'living', 'friend', 'ask', 'look', 'pissed', 'say', 'come', 'school', 'pissed', 'alive', 'wish', 'could', 'end', 'dont', 'want', 'mom', 'dad', 'sister', 'would', 'devastated', 'sister', 'enter', 'college', 'dont', 'want', 'become', 'sad', 'drop', 'becomes', 'distracted', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'parent', 'bad', 'think', 'fault', 'end', 'suffering', 'year', 'also', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'feel', 'would', 'disservice', 'le', 'fortunate', 'might', 'bad', 'keep', 'struggling', 'day', 'day', 'everything', 'need', 'yeti', 'still', 'satisfied', 'sometimes', 'lay', 'bed', 'cry', 'dont', 'see', 'purpose', 'living', 'think', 'fucked', 'shit', 'happens', 'world', 'universe', 'big', 'time', 'move', 'fast', 'dont', 'think', 'anyone', 'would', 'even', 'miss', 'doe', 'anything', 'even', 'matter', 'grand', 'scheme', 'thing', 'everything', 'good', 'bad', 'lost', 'forgotten', 'everything', 'ha', 'significance', 'meaning', 'want', 'reach', 'help', 'cant', 'bring', 'thought', 'maybe', 'joining', 'military', 'trying', 'go', 'somewhere', 'dangerous', 'could', 'die', 'least', 'least', 'parent', 'wouldnt', 'ashamed', 'take', 'long', 'need', 'solution', 'played', 'scenario', 'head', 'multiple', 'time', 'would', 'walk', 'middle', 'night', 'freeway', 'overpass', 'jump', 'cant', 'bring', 'recently', 'grade', 'started', 'dropping', 'parent', 'mad', 'kind', 'breaking', 'point', 'wa', 'already', 'point', 'living', 'make', 'suffer']
178
['okayi', 'amjust', 'tired', 'people', 'treating', 'way', 'maybe', 'happened', 'many', 'timesi', 'amthe', 'awful', 'one', 'fact', 'maybe', 'shouldnt', 'even', 'ask', 'help', 'vented', 'story', 'anyone', 'theyd', 'reminded', 'similar', 'story', 'happening', 'hate', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'hadnt', 'born', 'woman', 'wouldnt', 'deal', 'sometimes', 'want', 'cut', 'tit', 'fuck', 'knife', 'something', 'maybe', 'people', 'ive', 'hurt', 'year', 'selfish', 'slut', 'would', 'bit', 'happier', 'life', 'remember', 'feeling', 'hope', 'ted', 'talk', 'explaining', 'stress', 'response', 'wa', 'body', 'way', 'telling', 'u', 'seek', 'help', 'guess', 'thats', 'seeking', 'help', 'feeling', 'slightest', 'bit', 'relieved', 'even', 'knowing', 'help', 'isnt', 'coming', 'one', 'ever', 'agree', 'love', 'againi', 'amokay', 'banging', 'coffin', 'bit', 'longeri', 'amjust', 'tired', 'letting', 'people', 'believei', 'amwilling', 'anything', 'selfish', 'slut']
100
['care', 'sleazy', 'porn', 'director', 'want', 'kill', 'fuck', 'life', 'wantedi', 'year', 'old', 'life', 'completely', 'fucked', 'sum', 'upi', 'ama', 'porn', 'director', 'living', 'la', 'life', 'wanted', 'actual', 'filmmaker', 'like', 'john', 'ford', 'james', 'cameron', 'life', 'whats', 'cracked', 'order', 'find', 'work', 'work', 'porn', 'sending', 'script', 'studio', 'like', 'warner', 'bros', 'fox', 'got', 'turned', 'every', 'time', 'even', 'day', 'still', 'get', 'turned', 'ive', 'directing', 'porn', 'nine', 'year', 'amjust', 'tired', 'didnt', 'want', 'nowi', 'going', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'sorry', 'baby', 'know', 'wa', 'best', 'thing', 'ever', 'amdone', 'dont', 'want', 'part', 'sleazy', 'industry', 'anymorei', 'amdone']
82
['best', 'friend', 'killed', 'amnext', 'wasnt', 'friend', 'wa', 'ex', 'boyfriend', 'first', 'love', 'first', 'boyfriend', 'first', 'everything', 'ever', 'since', 'died', 'back', 'may', 'think', 'killing', 'nothing', 'feel', 'real', 'anymore', 'ive', 'read', 'something', 'called', 'suicidal', 'trance', 'believei', 'thing', 'stopping', 'fear', 'come', 'death', 'honestly', 'messed', 'may', 'sound', 'missing', 'stuff', 'josh', 'wa', 'one', 'strongest', 'people', 'ever', 'knew', 'losing', 'wa', 'shock', 'havent', 'able', 'cope', 'four', 'month', 'every', 'day', 'get', 'closer', 'closer', 'ending', 'advice', 'would', 'greatly', 'appreciated']
69
['moved', 'away', 'hometown', 'year', 'ago', 'friend', 'basically', 'disowned', 'family', 'either', 'abusive', 'stranger', 'nothing', 'left', 'therethe', 'thing', 'keeping', 'holding', 'people', 'needed', 'wife', 'bos', 'week', 'ago', 'wife', 'left', 'metoday', 'got', 'firedim', 'obscure', 'ged', 'spotty', 'work', 'history', 'job', 'ive', 'past', 'month', 'cant', 'answer', 'interview', 'question', 'correctly', 'especially', 'online', 'reword', 'question', 'understand', 'differently', 'answer', 'differently', 'due', 'learning', 'disability', 'affect', 'comprehension', 'communication', 'skill', 'top', 'trouble', 'tone', 'ask', 'lot', 'question', 'come', 'across', 'defiant', 'dont', 'backup', 'plan', 'amconfident', 'cant', 'bounce', 'back', 'need', 'someone', 'qualification', 'teenager', 'half', 'durability']
80
['cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'start', 'saying', 'dont', 'thinki', 'serious', 'danger', 'attempting', 'anything', 'soon', 'understand', 'people', 'need', 'help', 'pressinglyi', 'came', 'parent', 'transgender', 'bit', 'two', 'year', 'ago', 'went', 'horribly', 'overdosed', 'ended', 'spending', 'six', 'month', 'two', 'mental', 'hospital', 'anyway', 'parent', 'came', 'around', 'amback', 'home', 'love', 'otheri', 'amout', 'everyone', 'great', 'also', 'live', 'north', 'carolina', 'le', 'greatim', 'called', 'tranny', 'faggot', 'every', 'day', 'school', 'feel', 'like', 'entire', 'state', 'entire', 'country', 'even', 'hate', 'trans', 'peoplei', 'ptsd', 'repeatedly', 'raped', 'wa', 'twelve', 'still', 'get', 'delusion', 'flashback', 'get', 'worse', 'time', 'year', 'well', 'anniversaryi', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'want', 'live', 'cool', 'life', 'thingsi', 'ampassionate', 'thing', 'want', 'people', 'love', 'people', 'love', 'cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'every', 'time', 'start', 'feeling', 'okay', 'hit', 'like', 'wall', 'ifi', 'amterrified', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'cant', 'get', 'head']
116
['friend', 'going', 'tough', 'time', 'friend', 'emotional', 'breaking', 'point', 'suicidei', 'trying', 'get', 'much', 'help', 'enough', 'need', 'help']
16
['please', 'wait', 'crisis', 'supporter', 'respond', 'number', 'queue', 'please', 'wait', 'crisis', 'supporter', 'respond', 'number', 'queueall', 'crisis', 'supporter', 'currently', 'assisting', 'others', 'thanks', 'patience', 'crisis', 'supporter', 'shortly', 'currently', 'queue', 'current', 'average', 'wait', 'time', 'minute', 'secondsfuck', 'finally', 'get', 'courage', 'try', 'help', 'line', 'get', 'bother', 'dont', 'know', 'anyone', 'bother', 'first', 'place', 'like', 'anybody', 'actually', 'help', 'anybody', 'wa', 'expecting', 'bunch', 'preplanned', 'form', 'response', 'useless', 'assertations', 'wa', 'going', 'ok', 'anyway']
63
['want', 'stop', 'hurtingi', 'amjust', 'tired', 'everything', 'go', 'wrong', 'stupid', 'prevent', 'matter', 'hard', 'try', 'even', 'screw', 'try', 'kill', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore']
20
['worth', 'friend', 'ive', 'ever', 'fall', 'one', 'two', 'category', 'either', 'used', 'advantage', 'felt', 'bad', 'wanted', 'kill', 'week', 'ago', 'ended', 'psych', 'ward', 'got', 'friend', 'left', 'thought', 'could', 'trust', 'asked', 'hang', 'asked', 'could', 'get', 'weed', 'said', 'yes', 'bought', 'worth', 'weed', 'told', 'pay', 'back', 'could', 'week', 'later', 'asked', 'pay', 'back', 'read', 'message', 'day', 'later', 'blocked', 'tried', 'kill', 'realized', 'longer', 'anyone', 'failed', 'ended', 'psych', 'ward', 'whole', 'always', 'try', 'treat', 'people', 'around', 'best', 'every', 'time', 'people', 'treat', 'shitiness', 'return', 'problem', 'need', 'kill', 'cant', 'end', 'psych', 'ward', 'like', 'failureedit', 'made', 'post', 'went', 'bed', 'woke', 'holy', 'shit', 'guy', 'incredibly', 'kind', 'whenever', 'feel', 'againi', 'going', 'think', 'everybody', 'replied', 'thank', 'much', 'everybody', 'day', 'amazing', 'start', 'dont', 'remember', 'last', 'time', 'woke', 'feeling', 'lovededit', 'anybody', 'still', 'reading', 'want', 'help', 'redirect', 'kindness', 'wa', 'person', 'reply', 'post', 'last', 'night', 'think', 'could', 'use', 'kind', 'word']
130
['serious', 'question', 'suicide', 'considered', 'selfish', 'many', 'seen', 'selfish', 'one', 'experience', 'want', 'escape', 'feel', 'life', 'time', 'sorrow', 'wa', 'case', 'wouldnt', 'selfish', 'one', 'around', 'individual', 'want', 'himher', 'keep', 'going', 'going', 'miserablei', 'suicidal', 'right', 'part', 'idea', 'cross', 'mind', 'lot', 'input', 'anyone']
38
['take', 'go', 'easy', 'might', 'perfect', 'youre', 'definitely', 'long', 'way', 'unlovable', 'irredeemable', 'lack', 'fear', 'intimacy', 'self', 'defense', 'mechanism', 'protect', 'getting', 'hurt', 'chuck', 'past', 'experience', 'trash', 'bin', 'enjoy', 'life', 'keep', 'open', 'mind', 'backup', 'plan', 'case', 'thing', 'dont', 'work', 'go', 'back', 'normal']
39
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220
['need', 'help', 'everything', 'past', 'year', 'horrible', 'downward', 'spiral', 'okay', 'probably', 'going', 'annoyingly', 'long', 'get', 'someonei', 'amsitting', 'bed', 'upset', 'cant', 'even', 'cry', 'got', 'email', 'power', 'bill', 'past', 'day', 'live', 'bed', 'bath', 'apartment', 'small', 'georgia', 'town', 'boyfriend', 'roommate', 'dont', 'know', 'earth', 'could', 'possibly', 'used', 'kwh', 'power', 'day', 'operate', 'ac', 'reasonably', 'turn', 'light', 'bill', 'due', 'day', 'dont', 'job', 'boyfriend', 'doesnt', 'job', 'experience', 'need', 'get', 'decent', 'paying', 'professional', 'job', 'ive', 'applied', 'place', 'past', 'month', 'half', 'communication', 'ive', 'gotten', 'one', 'single', 'email', 'saying', 'theyre', 'going', 'another', 'candidateive', 'major', 'depressive', 'disorder', 'since', 'wa', 'year', 'old', 'reasonable', 'control', 'right', 'want', 'nothing', 'stop', 'existing', 'ive', 'living', 'boyfriend', 'year', 'unofficially', 'enough', 'money', 'pay', 'rent', 'old', 'place', 'wa', 'sort', 'parent', 'home', 'apartment', 'name', 'much', 'part', 'lease', 'thing', 'new', 'apartment', 'hate', 'every', 'single', 'time', 'leave', 'parent', 'house', 'sit', 'driveway', 'cry', 'rushed', 'quickly', 'high', 'school', 'college', 'freedom', 'downward', 'spiral', 'started', 'wasnt', 'accepted', 'dream', 'school', 'uga', 'always', 'said', 'id', 'go', 'time', 'went', 'game', 'tailgated', 'uncle', 'dad', 'kid', 'even', 'honor', 'grad', 'ap', 'class', 'decent', 'gpa', 'act', 'score', 'wasnt', 'accepted', 'graduated', 'high', 'school', 'gpa', 'honor', 'skipped', 'class', 'nearly', 'every', 'day', 'never', 'work', 'never', 'mattered', 'always', 'college', 'wa', 'obviously', 'different', 'still', 'skipped', 'teacher', 'never', 'really', 'anything', 'managed', 'end', 'semester', 'gpa', 'failed', 'class', 'annoying', 'college', 'required', 'course', 'decided', 'wanted', 'freedom', 'work', 'applied', 'liberty', 'university', 'online', 'parent', 'alma', 'mater', 'severely', 'kicked', 'failed', 'class', 'account', 'work', 'nowi', 'amhere', 'trying', 'desperately', 'start', 'back', 'tech', 'school', 'january', 'try', 'transfer', 'uga', 'life', 'keep', 'kicking', 'cant', 'get', 'job', 'despite', 'great', 'experience', 'reference', 'havent', 'even', 'begun', 'relationshipmy', 'boyfriend', 'met', 'tinder', 'august', 'went', 'horrible', 'breakup', 'high', 'school', 'boyfriend', 'year', 'thought', 'would', 'fine', 'break', 'via', 'email', 'wa', 'scotland', 'school', 'exchange', 'trip', 'boyfriend', 'well', 'call', 'john', 'also', 'went', 'though', 'breakup', 'month', 'prior', 'mine', 'met', 'talked', 'eventually', 'started', 'dating', 'entirely', 'different', 'person', 'met', 'know', 'people', 'change', 'different', 'doe', 'play', 'video', 'game', 'day', 'love', 'video', 'game', 'even', 'love', 'playing', 'hour', 'becomes', 'first', 'thing', 'get', 'bed', 'pm', 'dont', 'stop', 'go', 'bed', 'around', 'problem', 'perfectly', 'content', 'live', 'filth', 'rarely', 'ever', 'pick', 'sex', 'maybe', 'month', 'sometimes', 'every', 'month', 'know', 'isnt', 'cheating', 'lazy', 'obviously', 'logical', 'solution', 'leave', 'ive', 'heard', 'anyone', 'ive', 'told', 'thing', 'easy', 'got', 'puppy', 'together', 'last', 'year', 'already', 'agreed', 'break', 'better', 'position', 'take', 'care', 'lose', 'dog', 'also', 'horrifically', 'depressed', 'refuse', 'go', 'doctor', 'anything', 'know', 'leave', 'going', 'become', 'shadow', 'person', 'thats', 'good', 'dog', 'anyone', 'else', 'know', 'responsibility', 'doe', 'break', 'still', 'thing', 'new', 'apartment', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'would', 'begin', 'moving', 'everything', 'back', 'parent', 'housei', 'amhorrifically', 'shape', 'thats', 'mostly', 'due', 'fact', 'boyfriend', 'obviously', 'lazy', 'cook', 'every', 'day', 'normally', 'order', 'food', 'x', 'day', 'weve', 'somehow', 'spent', 'since', 'january', 'dont', 'know', 'extravagant', 'purchase', 'vacation', 'bunch', 'small', 'meaningless', 'purchase', 'add', 'uptldr', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'stuck', 'heart', 'hurt', 'ive', 'fucked', 'life', 'passion', 'cant', 'get', 'job', 'cant', 'go', 'dream', 'school', 'relationship', 'terrible', 'owe', 'dont', 'want', 'nothing', 'stop', 'existing']
449
['slipped', 'away', 'look', 'pill', 'hand', 'right', 'wonder', 'deserve', 'lied', 'person', 'love']
11
['cant', 'handle', 'anymore', 'hello', 'reader', 'first', 'sorry', 'posting', 'nowhere', 'else', 'cannot', 'stand', 'longer', 'keep', 'failing', 'everything', 'touch', 'job', 'relationship', 'money', 'nothing', 'people', 'care', 'right', 'turned', 'back', 'tonight', 'could', 'night', 'sorry', 'everyone']
31
['make', 'people', 'fight', 'live', 'extreme', 'medical', 'condition', 'like', 'cancer', 'paralyzation', 'dont', 'even', 'major', 'condition', 'whiplash', 'seems', 'lingering', 'without', 'getting', 'better', 'solid', 'week', 'wa', 'six', 'spinal', 'fracturesi', 'yet', 'probably', 'worse', 'back', 'old', 'meni', 'know', 'tend', 'catastrophise', 'whats', 'point', 'able', 'thing', 'nothing', 'look', 'forward', 'except', 'chance', 'next', 'doctor', 'appointment', 'bring', 'relief', 'usually', 'doesnt']
51
['help', 'friend', 'die', 'taking', 'mg', 'fluoxetine', 'hate', 'say', 'ssri', 'antidepressant', 'one', 'worst', 'way', 'go', 'painful', 'feeling', 'way', 'tonight']
18
['happen', 'eventually', 'doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'end', 'youre', 'gonna', 'die', 'suicide', 'like', 'matter', 'thats', 'gonna', 'end', 'resulti', 'feel', 'like', 'even', 'make', 'still', 'going', 'end', 'life']
26
['sparing', 'everyone', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'going', 'ive', 'always', 'way', 'depressed', 'anorexic', 'abused', 'average', 'everything', 'average', 'look', 'average', 'grade', 'talented', 'good', 'anything', 'one', 'ha', 'ever', 'love', 'take', 'use', 'never', 'give', 'comfort', 'body', 'pressed', 'mine', 'afterwardsi', 'amjust', 'lonely', 'parent', 'relieved', 'know', 'mom', 'happy', 'dad', 'doesnt', 'deserve', 'stuck', 'daughter', 'therapy', 'isnt', 'available', 'myriad', 'reason', 'please', 'dont', 'mention', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'everyday', 'computer', 'cry', 'bed', 'daydreaming', 'thing', 'never', 'happen', 'get', 'friendsread', 'people', 'drink', 'smoke', 'weed', 'connection', 'whatsoever', 'pointless', 'time', 'dont', 'even', 'remember', 'itthe', 'world', 'going', 'miss', 'likei', 'going', 'cure', 'cancer', 'even', 'family', 'people', 'love', 'done', 'get', 'better', 'doesnt', 'plan', 'october', 'st']
97
['almost', 'two', 'week', 'left', 'death', 'decided', 'month', 'would', 'happiest', 'month', 'life', 'wa', 'possible', 'till', 'day', 'back', 'nowi', 'really', 'pretending', 'happy', 'let', 'tell', 'make', 'people', 'feel', 'fucking', 'insecure', 'hard', 'pretend', 'crack', 'joke', 'laugh', 'take', 'picture', 'everyone', 'till', 'sept', 'theyll', 'find', 'dead', 'white', 'dressi', 'wrote', 'letter', 'family', 'made', 'little', 'care', 'package', 'open', 'note', 'one', 'day', 'month', 'immediately', 'post', 'death', 'one', 'next', 'ten', 'birthday', 'anniversary', 'birthday', 'theyll', 'remember', 'miss', 'sister', 'weddingi', 'almost', 'done', 'crochet', 'blanketi', 'ammaking', 'parentsi', 'fought', 'parent', 'stopped', 'talking', 'give', 'time', 'get', 'used', 'aroundcut', 'time', 'hopefully', 'scar', 'dont', 'remain', 'big', 'day', 'want', 'look', 'good', 'thats', 'still', 'lot', 'item', 'pending', 'two', 'week', 'left', 'still', 'time', 'finish']
104
['interesting', 'ive', 'never', 'blogged', 'forum', 'become', 'much', 'ive', 'tried', 'many', 'time', 'clearly', 'unsuccessfully', 'ive', 'even', 'went', 'far', 'charcoal', 'burning', 'carbon', 'poison', 'couldnt', 'stand', 'smoke', 'even', 'though', 'took', 'shitload', 'alprazolam', 'go', 'sleep', 'ive', 'done', 'lot', 'research', 'lidocaine', 'intravenous', 'ive', 'managed', 'take', 'blood', 'although', 'know', 'heart', 'attack', 'isnt', 'pleasant', 'way', 'go', 'isnt', 'worst', 'way', 'go', 'probably', 'slip', 'coma', 'beforehand', 'anyway', 'ive', 'done', 'extensive', 'research', 'ive', 'obtained', 'enough', 'lidocaine', 'make', 'happen', 'ironically', 'went', 'er', 'day', 'willinois', 'masonic', 'intake', 'nurse', 'violently', 'probed', 'get', 'blood', 'failed', 'laughed', 'thinking', 'much', 'better', 'job']
86
['going', 'kill', 'dont', 'posting', 'one', 'talk', 'design', 'avoidant', 'personality', 'disorder', 'version', 'effective', 'efficient', 'know', 'anyone', 'isolate', 'ashamed', 'exist', 'wa', 'abused', 'neglected', 'child', 'never', 'received', 'treatment', 'might', 'helped', 'person', 'abused', 'hid', 'well', 'adult', 'small', 'family', 'incompetent', 'inactivei', 'started', 'fantasizing', 'suicide', 'wa', 'wa', 'triggered', 'circumstance', 'biology', 'tell', 'anyone', 'would', 'resulted', 'violence', 'mockery', 'always', 'desperate', 'life', 'endi', 'tried', 'kill', 'teenager', 'wa', 'weak', 'effort', 'spent', 'month', 'locked', 'psychiatric', 'ward', 'got', 'went', 'school', 'stayed', 'home', 'lived', 'shutin', 'decade', 'spanning', 'adolescence', 'early', 'adulthood', 'wa', 'allowed', 'wa', 'sick', 'one', 'intervenedi', 'tried', 'kill', 'time', 'violently', 'failure', 'month', 'psych', 'ward', 'time', 'got', 'got', 'ged', 'job', 'tried', 'pursue', 'normalcy', 'year', 'failed', 'never', 'felt', 'comfortable', 'around', 'people', 'brain', 'malfunction', 'feel', 'wrong', 'looked', 'feel', 'wrong', 'communicate', 'ashamed', 'embarrassed', 'existi', 'wa', 'left', 'alone', 'mother', 'child', 'wa', 'mentally', 'emotionally', 'disturbed', 'overwhelmed', 'unmedicated', 'wanted', 'pretend', 'wa', 'alone', 'would', 'beat', 'belittle', 'torture', 'hope', 'keeping', 'quiet', 'still', 'see', 'rage', 'hatred', 'eye', 'disdain', 'contempt', 'voiceshe', 'spent', 'entire', 'life', 'trying', 'pretend', 'wanted', 'love', 'affectionate', 'outgoing', 'want', 'bother', 'anyone', 'deserve', 'anythingi', 'dangerous', 'never', 'hurt', 'anyone', 'desire', 'worst', 'part', 'weird', 'know', 'people', 'identify', 'weird', 'youre', 'man', 'people', 'identify', 'weird', 'fear', 'understand', 'best', 'err', 'side', 'caution', 'people', 'afraid', 'thinking', 'potentially', 'dangerous', 'break', 'hearti', 'going', 'kill', 'way', 'see', 'choice', 'isolation', 'death', 'longer', 'maintain', 'isolation', 'resource', 'death', 'isto', 'make', 'sure', 'get', 'done', 'time', 'option', 'first', 'hard', 'second', 'requires', 'moment', 'bravery', 'violent', 'guaranteed', 'neither', 'option', 'ha', 'potential', 'harm', 'anyone', 'elsei', 'sympathy', 'heard', 'moment', 'let', 'younger', 'people', 'know', 'sooner', 'get', 'help', 'better', 'chance', 'recovery', 'ask', 'help', 'wish', 'didjust', 'remember', 'cure', 'mental', 'willness', 'people', 'teach', 'tool', 'skill', 'help', 'manage', 'gain', 'controli', 'going', 'die', 'see', 'choice', 'see', 'choice', 'please', 'make', 'choice', 'allows', 'better', 'longer', 'lifei', 'love', 'youthank', 'readingtldr', 'dead', 'soon', 'better', 'taker', 'easy']
275
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206
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84
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149
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69
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44
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93
['feel', 'like', 'fraud', 'doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'disconnected', 'physical', 'world', 'feel', 'like', 'lot', 'timesi', 'amoperating', 'auto', 'pilot', 'person', 'inhabits', 'body', 'different', 'one', 'everyone', 'see', 'surface', 'feel', 'like', 'fraud', 'everyone', 'laughter', 'enjoyable', 'moment', 'fake', 'thought', 'suicide', 'thing', 'feel', 'real', 'thats', 'purpose', 'thats', 'belong', 'dead']
43
['people', 'dont', 'give', 'rational', 'worthy', 'answer', 'survive', 'completely', 'irrational', 'live', 'world', 'answer', 'ive', 'received', 'stay', 'effort', 'thought', 'put', 'one', 'say', 'worth', 'put', 'plenty', 'detail', 'relatable', 'emotion', 'fucked', 'world', 'ignorant', 'see', 'wise']
31
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153
['want', 'tell', 'people', 'truth', 'drunk', 'want', 'let', 'guard', 'really', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'ask', 'anything', 'give', 'accurate', 'ok', 'drunk', 'response', 'dirty', 'secret', 'want', 'know', 'ask']
24
['coming', 'close', 'soon', 'wont', 'see', 'month', 'unemployed', 'source', 'income', 'apartment', 'lease', 'end', 'couple', 'month', 'homeless', 'family', 'cant', 'take', 'help', 'way', 'dont', 'friend', 'would', 'helpjust', 'well', 'wa', 'always', 'broken', 'one', 'couldnt', 'survive', 'world', 'skill', 'passion', 'connection', 'charisma', 'nothing', 'never', 'deserved', 'exist', 'first', 'placei', 'hope', 'drop', 'kill', 'time', 'come']
47
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52
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265
['amshaking', 'havent', 'food', 'day', 'wonder', 'happens', 'die', 'lied', 'soulmate', 'never', 'get', 'together', 'cant', 'live', 'without']
15
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107
['prepped', 'go', 'written', 'letter', 'prepared', 'everything', 'final', 'exit', 'keep', 'bottle', 'pill', 'time', 'soooo', 'ready', 'go', 'want', 'hiccup', 'final', 'initiate', 'act', 'nice', 'long', 'swim', 'ocean', 'downing', 'full', 'bottle', 'prescription', 'sleeping', 'pill', 'definitely', 'near', 'future', 'advice', 'get', 'married', 'fall', 'love', 'people', 'ultimately', 'selfish', 'care', 'bout', 'benefit', 'way', 'fooled', 'think', 'otherwise', 'give', 'life', 'dream', 'goal', 'anybody', 'else', 'even', 'family']
56
['messed', 'went', 'college', 'soon', 'idk', 'class', 'go', 'diploma', 'major', 'anything', 'think', 'done', 'research', 'went', 'make', 'sure', 'knew', 'wa', 'went', 'mom', 'wanted', 'go', 'soon', 'graduated', 'h', 'either', 'tha', 'get', 'job', 'tried', 'get', 'job', 'cause', 'anxiety', 'wa', 'scratching', 'arm', 'till', 'bled', 'scarred', 'thought', 'college', 'would', 'like', 'school', 'wasnt', 'feel', 'like', 'able', 'pay', 'loan', 'wont', 'able', 'get', 'job', 'either', 'stressed', 'feel', 'like', 'ruined', 'life', 'job', 'experience', 'anything', 'even', 'put', 'resume', 'except', 'like', 'volunteer', 'work', 'h', 'god', 'hard', 'dont', 'know', 'adult', 'seems', 'like', 'everyone', 'else', 'know', 'theyre', 'feel', 'useless', 'money', 'tight', 'rn', 'need', 'making', 'money', 'finding', 'job', 'difficulti', 'lazy', 'sit', 'around', 'nothing', 'dont', 'got', 'job', 'got', 'nobody', 'talk', 'family', 'want', 'die', 'badly']
108
['nothing', 'life', 'ha', 'value', 'self', 'friend', 'family', 'dont', 'mean', 'anything', 'would', 'try', 'kill', 'would', 'mess']
15
['cant', 'take', 'another', 'day', 'help', 'chronically', 'ptsd', 'depression', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'want', 'kill', 'failed', 'yesterday', 'want', 'give', 'another', 'try', 'afraid', 'want', 'itmore', 'year', 'treatment', 'drug', 'nothing', 'workedeasiest', 'way', 'end']
29
['foolproof', 'suicide', 'mei', 'amplanning', 'yet', 'another', 'suicide', 'hope', 'one', 'wont', 'fail', 'ive', 'discussed', 'one', 'person', 'leave', 'minor', 'detail', 'cant', 'stop', 'time', 'comesbut', 'seems', 'theyve', 'discovered', 'fuck', 'plan', 'poison', 'choice', 'time', 'co', 'poisoning', 'baught', 'old', 'car', 'purpose', 'cutless', 'supreme', 'rented', 'small', 'garage', 'unit', 'car', 'place', 'death', 'keep', 'place', 'secret', 'one', 'interrupt', 'lead', 'another', 'failed', 'attempt', 'problem', 'car', 'wa', 'made', 'convertable', 'ha', 'roll', 'bar', 'assumed', 'would', 'work', 'since', 'garage', 'unit', 'fill', 'co', 'still', 'person', 'telling', 'otherwisestating', 'id', 'die', 'heat', 'stroke', 'first', 'even', 'though', 'ha', 'working', 'ac', 'wont', 'explain', 'reasoning', 'right', 'wrong']
89
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127
['id', 'rather', 'happy', 'dead', 'point', 'would', 'rather', 'dead', 'unhappy', 'every', 'day', 'rest', 'life', 'could', 'magically', 'snap', 'finger', 'obtain', 'friendsan', 'money', 'would', 'never', 'think', 'suicide', 'dont', 'clinical', 'depression', 'chemical', 'reason', 'depressed', 'want', 'death', 'fucking', 'life', 'incredible', 'pain', 'brings', 'want', 'special', 'important', 'someone', 'get', 'whyi', 'noti', 'nice', 'person', 'interesting', 'person', 'attractive', 'still', 'hurt', 'alone', 'even', 'understand', 'reason']
55
['whatever', 'mid', 'friend', 'low', 'wage', 'job', 'end', 'next', 'month', 'debt', 'school', 'never', 'finished', 'wa', 'busy', 'trying', 'work', 'pay', 'bill', 'family', 'hate', 'sister', 'regularly', 'tell', 'kill', 'mother', 'want', 'house', 'money', 'rent', 'loan', 'bill', 'friend', 'crash', 'literally', 'friend', 'soon', 'homeless', 'amd', 'without', 'job', 'even', 'though', 'paid', 'shitgive', 'one', 'reason', 'pull', 'nike', 'cause', 'cant', 'think', 'one']
53
['year', 'old', 'autistic', 'low', 'giftedness', 'father', 'brother', 'engineer', 'yep', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'yeah', 'failed', 'school', 'miserably', 'cant', 'deal', 'everyone', 'better', 'left', 'life']
22
['dont', 'think', 'anymore', 'expectation', 'place', 'crushing', 'ptsd', 'nmom', 'ha', 'causedi', 'able', 'function', 'level', 'school', 'wonder', 'pas', 'father', 'happy', 'already', 'disappointed', 'change', 'religioni', 'amquitting', 'job', 'asi', 'right', 'place', 'mentally', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'need', 'continue', 'school', 'though', 'cant', 'drop', 'take', 'medical', 'withdrawal', 'havent', 'able', 'attend', 'class', 'anxiety', 'panic', 'attack', 'one', 'class', 'unhappy', 'cant', 'need', 'break', 'school', 'unable', 'need', 'gpa', 'stay', 'add', 'translation', 'study', 'certificate', 'many', 'understand', 'go']
64
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30
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371
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48
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91
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110
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17
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181
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100
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107
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179
['ive', 'gone', 'overdrawn', 'bank', 'ive', 'really', 'bad', 'summer', 'another', 'stressful', 'year', 'university', 'coming', 'work', 'terrible', 'life', 'nothing', 'mundane', 'task', 'never', 'happy', 'guess', 'end', 'year', 'ive', 'nothing', 'worthless']
27
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46
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114
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85
['suicidal', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'ama', 'freshman', 'college', 'wa', 'pretty', 'well', 'feeling', 'greatly', 'distressed', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'ever', 'since', 'woke', 'morning', 'stressed', 'one', 'class', 'attention', 'difficulty', 'also', 'relationship', 'feel', 'like', 'thats', 'good', 'enough', 'explanation', 'pulled', 'bunch', 'pill', 'bottle', 'stared', 'good', 'wondering', 'went', 'university', 'counseling', 'center', 'morning', 'thought', 'wa', 'feeling', 'better', 'walk', 'back', 'felt', 'worse', 'dont', 'know', 'please', 'help']
56
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87
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133
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157
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5
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50
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128
['wa', 'psychiatrist', 'told', 'mei', 'socially', 'undeveloped', 'true', 'feel', 'like', 'never', 'problem', 'like', 'mine', 'want', 'die', 'hate', 'dont', 'want', 'like', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'like', 'much', 'hope', 'help', 'deep', 'know', 'nothing', 'help', 'cry', 'fucking', 'much', 'kill', 'rly', 'keep', 'going', 'dont', 'want', 'like']
40
['need', 'urgent', 'answer', 'need', 'help', 'asap', 'girlfriend', 'swallowed', 'random', 'pill', 'random', 'doesnt', 'know', 'doctor', 'prescribed', 'someone', 'let', 'probably', 'like', 'sit', 'mouth', 'minutesi', 'amfreaking', 'okay', 'going', 'suffer', 'like', 'brain', 'damage', 'even', 'worseposting', 'main', 'need', 'answer', 'asap']
35
['hate', 'world', 'wish', 'someone', 'could', 'understand', 'pain', 'misery', 'go', 'everyday', 'first', 'getting', 'told', 'dad', 'hate', 'call', 'disappointment', 'every', 'day', 'getting', 'beat', 'school', 'dont', 'understand', 'nice', 'every', 'human', 'meet', 'try', 'friendly', 'everyone', 'course', 'everyone', 'hate', 'mei', 'sorry', 'sound', 'stupid', 'probably', 'doe', 'know', 'people', 'definitely', 'way', 'tougher', 'life']
46
['help', 'doesnt', 'help', 'even', 'try', 'anymore', 'ive', 'many', 'therapist', 'medication', 'still', 'gotten', 'better', 'ive', 'read', 'countless', 'story', 'help', 'line', 'make', 'thing', 'x', 'worse', 'believe', 'stupid', 'people', 'line', 'dont', 'give', 'one', 'shit', 'want', 'ruin', 'yougiven', 'really', 'seems', 'impossible', 'stop', 'bother']
39
['girlfriend', 'best', 'friend', 'left', 'ex', 'left', 'job', 'today', 'family', 'member', 'care', 'ha', 'cancer', 'car', 'broke', 'friend', 'started', 'writing', 'note', 'today', 'plan', 'leaving', 'week', 'od', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amsharing', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'tell', 'someone', 'gonna', 'ex', 'thati', 'going', 'tell']
38
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16
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20
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147
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33
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416
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522
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192
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269
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252
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83
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20
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16
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29
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31
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158
['hate', 'feeling', 'get', 'feel', 'worthless', 'useless', 'feel', 'likei', 'ama', 'spectator', 'world', 'wa', 'younger', 'remember', 'saying', 'spectator', 'life', 'wa', 'loved', 'listening', 'people', 'thought', 'story', 'still', 'worse', 'way', 'possibleive', 'started', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'become', 'worthless', 'useless', 'human', 'unintelligent', 'goal', 'life', 'spectator', 'life', 'never', 'worth', 'meaning', 'dont', 'girlfriend', 'ive', 'never', 'anyone', 'else', 'care', 'aside', 'parent', 'extended', 'family', 'kinda', 'forced', 'love', 'meno', 'one', 'else', 'ha', 'ever', 'cared', 'like', 'family', 'feel', 'likei', 'aminvisible', 'whenever', 'go', 'outside', 'wheni', 'amat', 'work', 'universityi', 'intelligent', 'feel', 'inferior', 'compared', 'everyone', 'else', 'knowno', 'one', 'love', 'ive', 'tried', 'kill', 'many', 'time', 'ive', 'never', 'become', 'scared', 'idea', 'made', 'many', 'plan', 'fallen', 'ive', 'close', 'actually', 'ending', 'iti', 'feel', 'weak', 'able', 'kill', 'want', 'finally', 'leave', 'worldim', 'worthless', 'useless', 'human', 'one', 'care', 'even', 'said', 'really', 'dont', 'care', 'kill', 'forgotteni', 'going', 'try', 'call', 'samaritan', 'uk', 'doubt', 'much', 'help']
131
['ready', 'join', 'statistic', 'wish', 'wa', 'easy', 'wayi', 'want', 'anything', 'anymore', 'everything', 'chore', 'ive', 'always', 'said', 'sloth', 'favorite', 'sin', 'look', 'thing', 'need', 'job', 'fine', 'havent', 'week', 'reenrolled', 'college', 'self', 'improvement', 'vital', 'future', 'havent', 'since', 'first', 'week', 'ok', 'maybe', 'could', 'say', 'noone', 'like', 'work', 'schoolthen', 'look', 'thing', 'around', 'book', 'read', 'stare', 'learned', 'year', 'ago', 'never', 'play', 'game', 'buy', 'steam', 'stopped', 'purchasing', 'still', 'many', 'thing', 'left', 'untouched', 'ive', 'got', 'friend', 'want', 'go', 'hang', 'thing', 'honestly', 'searching', 'wa', 'never', 'real', 'created', 'succeed', 'societyi', 'franticaly', 'find', 'excuse', 'avoid', 'invite', 'avoid', 'anything', 'new', 'hate', 'thinking', 'hate', 'feelingi', 'amjust', 'desperate', 'stop', 'everything', 'lifei', 'cant', 'afford', 'live', 'like', 'truly', 'hope', 'finally', 'throw', 'away', 'tonight']
106
['long', 'post', 'might', 'killing', 'couple', 'year', 'know', 'guy', 'might', 'tired', 'seeing', 'post', 'problem', 'amfeeling', 'really', 'need', 'talk', 'someone', 'understands', 'life', 'work', 'long', 'post', 'ahead', 'please', 'show', 'mercy', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'year', 'first', 'sign', 'depression', 'appeared', 'timei', 'ive', 'already', 'decided', 'wont', 'make', 'thirty', 'considering', 'problem', 'keep', 'piling', 'get', 'older', 'fact', 'already', 'tried', 'killing', 'stepping', 'front', 'upcoming', 'train', 'unfortunately', 'wa', 'pulled', 'back', 'guy', 'probably', 'thought', 'id', 'slipped', 'ice', 'hindsight', 'understand', 'stupidly', 'selfish', 'wa', 'feel', 'ashamed', 'understanding', 'many', 'problem', 'could', 'create', 'engineer', 'passengersi', 'amthinking', 'using', 'safe', 'method', 'ive', 'found', 'couple', 'already', 'need', 'put', 'test', 'condition', 'result', 'extremely', 'lifeworsening', 'combination', 'thing', 'make', 'poor', 'excuse', 'human', 'firsti', 'amvery', 'anxious', 'shy', 'around', 'people', 'physically', 'cant', 'stand', 'presence', 'want', 'sit', 'quiet', 'corner', 'one', 'disturb', 'unfortunately', 'college', 'student', 'must', 'engage', 'social', 'interaction', 'everyday', 'basis', 'kind', 'torment', 'want', 'true', 'friend', 'would', 'genuinely', 'care', 'would', 'nothing', 'give', 'returni', 'amalways', 'sitting', 'alone', 'quiet', 'contemplation', 'speak', 'laugh', 'fun', 'amjust', 'like', 'monument', 'eternal', 'sorrow', 'loneliness', 'like', 'exile', 'wouldnt', 'mind', 'girlfriend', 'thats', 'next', 'partanother', 'problem', 'isi', 'amugly', 'mean', 'people', 'closing', 'eye', 'horror', 'scream', 'run', 'away', 'see', 'kind', 'ugly', 'quite', 'close', 'logical', 'conclusion', 'chance', 'finding', 'girlfriend', 'nonexistent', 'ive', 'never', 'relationship', 'dont', 'know', 'holding', 'hand', 'loved', 'one', 'feel', 'like', 'havent', 'even', 'kissed', 'feel', 'likei', 'ammissing', 'important', 'part', 'life', 'nothing', 'every', 'time', 'think', 'learned', 'live', 'reality', 'reminds', 'miserable', 'easily', 'misconception', 'shattered', 'every', 'time', 'see', 'mirror', 'regret', 'gun', 'least', 'would', 'spare', 'people', 'street', 'look', 'beast', 'without', 'beauty', 'many', 'problem', 'could', 'solved', 'attractive', 'appearance', 'lucky', 'person', 'good', 'look', 'mei', 'amalways', 'comparing', 'people', 'everyone', 'absolutely', 'everyone', 'better', 'rare', 'exception', 'doesnt', 'work', 'good', 'selfesteem', 'went', 'core', 'earth', 'long', 'ago', 'one', 'reason', 'end', 'miserable', 'existencethe', 'third', 'problem', 'live', 'pisspoor', 'third', 'world', 'country', 'keep', 'getting', 'worse', 'every', 'year', 'absolutely', 'chance', 'ever', 'leaving', 'little', 'money', 'even', 'fewer', 'opportunity', 'make', 'always', 'wanted', 'see', 'decent', 'life', 'mean', 'people', 'live', 'europe', 'usa', 'fate', 'decided', 'must', 'rot', 'cage', 'without', 'getting', 'sometimes', 'seems', 'sneaking', 'aboard', 'freighter', 'going', 'across', 'atlantic', 'isnt', 'bad', 'idea', 'joke', 'aside', 'ive', 'thinking', 'becoming', 'willegal', 'immigrant', 'due', 'legal', 'option', 'available', 'take', 'ball', 'steel', 'something', 'dont', 'havei', 'weak', 'soft', 'take', 'risk', 'fourth', 'problem', 'cant', 'thing', 'well', 'cant', 'anything', 'well', 'achievement', 'life', 'wa', 'learning', 'english', 'language', 'hardly', 'help', 'situation', 'isnt', 'much', 'use', 'youre', 'eternally', 'locked', 'country', 'people', 'hardly', 'know', 'language', 'let', 'alone', 'foreign', 'one', 'apart', 'havent', 'achieved', 'anything', 'cant', 'draw', 'cant', 'write', 'cant', 'make', 'music', 'cant', 'anyone', 'else', 'around', 'seems', 'able', 'ease', 'cry', 'night', 'something', 'could', 'master', 'little', 'practice', 'wouldnt', 'get', 'anywhere', 'problem', 'combined', 'make', 'life', 'difficulti', 'amsurprised', 'ive', 'lived', 'long', 'feeling', 'end', 'quite', 'sooni', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'someone', 'ha', 'similar', 'situation', 'could', 'use', 'wise', 'word', 'sage', 'subreddit', 'without', 'get', 'better', 'eventually', 'please', 'doesnt']
424
['feeling', 'guilt', 'dont', 'know', 'best', 'way', 'say', 'lost', 'friend', 'something', 'stupid', 'hate', 'blocked', 'social', 'medium', 'nothing', 'live', 'dont', 'anymore', 'friend', 'life', 'never', 'kind', 'relationship', 'nowi', 'amover', 'pound', 'still', 'going', 'guilt', 'overwhelming', 'making', 'suicidal', 'depressed', 'know', 'thats', 'contacting', 'reddit']
38
['hit', 'bottom', 'today', 'googled', 'suicide', 'method', 'chicken', 'outjust', 'reading', 'hanging', 'scared', 'dark', 'read', 'amfucking', 'depresseddoes', 'anyone', 'else', 'want', 'die', 'cant', 'really', 'go', 'process']
23
['hate', 'family', 'loving', 'family', 'reasoni', 'amkeeping', 'killing', 'didnt', 'choose', 'didnt', 'choose', 'live', 'shitty', 'fucking', 'life']
15
['see', 'good', 'reason', 'continue', 'livingi', 'good', 'degree', 'student', 'debt', 'probably', 'land', 'stable', 'job', 'good', 'pay', 'within', 'next', 'month', 'basically', 'material', 'comfort', 'want', 'still', 'havent', 'happy', 'since', 'wa', 'thats', 'sociallyi', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'trainwreck', 'havent', 'felt', 'sort', 'meaningful', 'connection', 'friend', 'acquaintance', 'past', 'four', 'year', 'save', 'two', 'people', 'one', 'two', 'ghosted', 'two', 'year', 'ago', 'busy', 'time', 'still', 'find', 'afraid', 'ask', 'hang', 'dont', 'want', 'put', 'pressure', 'ive', 'never', 'girlfriendi', 'still', 'virgin', 'month', 'ago', 'hadnt', 'even', 'kissed', 'girl', 'finally', 'wa', 'convinced', 'finally', 'figured', 'thing', 'wa', 'going', 'get', 'exciting', 'blossoming', 'social', 'life', 'eluded', 'entirety', 'time', 'college', 'since', 'going', 'back', 'school', 'still', 'living', 'distance', 'shes', 'become', 'pretty', 'clearly', 'disinterested', 'sort', 'relationship', 'amleft', 'staring', 'barrel', 'another', 'holiday', 'season', 'spent', 'room', 'drowning', 'medium', 'distract', 'reality', 'existencei', 'dont', 'see', 'thing', 'going', 'get', 'better', 'college', 'best', 'chance', 'make', 'friend', 'build', 'social', 'life', 'ha', 'passed', 'personalityi', 'ama', 'timid', 'bundle', 'nerve', 'wherei', 'amat', 'hard', 'imagine', 'ever', 'meeting', 'someone', 'interested', 'week', 'material', 'comfort', 'world', 'cant', 'get', 'past', 'loneliness', 'shame', 'feel', 'ive', 'triedsoi', 'amleft', 'wondering', 'point', 'continuing', 'life', 'ifi', 'amprobably', 'going', 'stay', 'isolated', 'last', 'four', 'year', 'holiday', 'always', 'hardest', 'time', 'going', 'seeing', 'halloween', 'decoration', 'knowing', 'nobody', 'share', 'time', 'wear', 'much', 'already', 'feel', 'likei', 'amat', 'end', 'rope', 'arent', 'even', 'halfway', 'september']
195
['fucked', 'everything', 'everything', 'shit', 'boyfriend', 'split', 'yesterday', 'wa', 'home', 'friend', 'got', 'really', 'drunk', 'ended', 'kissing', 'friend', 'ha', 'huge', 'crush', 'wa', 'big', 'mistake', 'love', 'wa', 'drunk', 'sadon', 'way', 'home', 'wrote', 'ex', 'boyfriend', 'much', 'miss', 'feel', 'like', 'living', 'anymore', 'got', 'absolutely', 'furious', 'said', 'call', 'police', 'would', 'never', 'speak', 'ever', 'wrote', 'something', 'like', 'hospitalize', 'ended', 'convincing', 'call', 'police', 'still', 'mad', 'apologised', 'lotended', 'calling', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'told', 'going', 'normal', 'breakup', 'tired', 'tired', 'schizophrenic', 'tired', 'able', 'anything', 'miss', 'ex', 'tired', 'always', 'left', 'one', 'love', 'tired', 'huge', 'fuckup']
82
['ama', 'fucking', 'coward', 'couldnt', 'today', 'drove', 'around', 'find', 'billboard', 'thing', 'could', 'jump', 'ofi', 'florida', 'cop', 'post', 'hurricane', 'damage', 'control', 'werent', 'paying', 'attention', 'couldnt', 'fucking', 'jumpi', 'worthless', 'friend', 'family', 'begging', 'kill', 'point', 'best', 'friend', 'moved', 'even', 'hoping', 'already', 'stop', 'dragging', 'foot', 'everybody', 'knowsi', 'going', 'nobody', 'going', 'stop', 'birthday', 'wa', 'yesterday', 'wa', 'get', 'drunk', 'hurricane', 'cry', 'wa', 'still', 'alive', 'wa', 'supposed', 'kill', 'year', 'agoi', 'worth', 'shiti', 'ama', 'burden', 'want', 'happen', 'want', 'happen', 'would', 'right', 'wa', 'sure', 'thing', 'would', 'end', 'life', 'permanently', 'found', 'pro', 'suicide', 'blog', 'online', 'reading', 'religiously', 'know', 'one', 'hurt', 'least', 'hoping', 'get', 'courage', 'within', 'coming', 'day', 'cant', 'live', 'like', 'anymore']
100
['use', 'depressive', 'thought', 'live', 'carelessly', 'post', 'everyone', 'guy', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'ive', 'many', 'timesuntil', 'broke', 'pattern', 'realising', 'life', 'really', 'nothing', 'know', 'could', 'figment', 'imagination', 'go', 'careless', 'fun', 'give', 'zero', 'fuck', 'word', 'become', 'sort', 'hedonist', 'whats', 'worst', 'could', 'happen', 'could', 'die', 'none', 'u', 'would', 'mind', 'whats', 'point', 'cutting', 'chase', 'make', 'whatever', 'existence', 'isand', 'stop', 'caring', 'freeing']
54
['wasnt', 'pain', 'id', 'mean', 'physical', 'pain', 'wouldnt', 'mind', 'leaving', 'family', 'behind', 'guessi', 'ama', 'psychopath', 'wa', 'kind', 'procedure', 'eliminates', 'pain', 'completely', 'id']
21
['say', 'tomorrow', 'new', 'day', 'everyday', 'sadness', 'loss', 'misery', 'pain', 'wishing', 'wa', 'gone', 'dont', 'see', 'continue', 'always', 'day']
17
['urgent', 'please', 'help', 'suicidal', 'redditor', 'problem', 'need', 'support', 'please', 'help', 'help']
11
['failing', 'college', 'dont', 'know', 'long', 'post', 'yo', 'repeat', 'exam', 'amsure', 'failed', 'wa', 'second', 'time', 'wa', 'sure', 'get', 'college', 'majority', 'friend', 'people', 'left', 'city', 'country', 'parent', 'live', 'km', 'away', 'anyone', 'give', 'good', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'end', 'friend', 'lefti', 'tired', 'time', 'amfucking', 'failing', 'every', 'aspect', 'life', 'exercise', 'eat', 'properly', 'try', 'get', 'early', 'night', 'cant', 'ever', 'feel', 'happy', 'social', 'life', 'one', 'talk', 'future', 'college', 'air', 'feel', 'likei', 'amstuck', 'mud', 'everyones', 'passing', 'apology', 'upset', 'anyone']
70
['dont', 'want', 'die', 'feel', 'like', 'choicei', 'amstuck', 'dont', 'want', 'suffer', 'anymore']
11
['sad', 'life', 'never', 'loved', 'moment', 'ha', 'come', 'pasti', 'spanish', 'ugly', 'virgin', 'never', 'friend', 'gf', 'parent', 'disgusting', 'people', 'school', 'wa', 'hell', 'wa', 'shy', 'everybody', 'ignored', 'completely', 'two', 'teacher', 'bullied', 'year', 'year', 'college', 'tried', 'stop', 'isolation', 'therapy', 'kind', 'forced', 'socializing', 'class', 'asking', 'everyone', 'normal', 'make', 'friend', 'meditation', 'year', 'yoga', 'went', 'every', 'open', 'party', 'smiling', 'talking', 'litteraly', 'everyone', 'could', 'used', 'social', 'medium', 'everyday', 'asked', 'dozen', 'female', 'year', 'get', 'rejected', 'every', 'single', 'time', 'enhanced', 'english', 'could', 'talk', 'foreign', 'student', 'visited', 'teacher', 'hour', 'talked', 'problem', 'diary', 'every', 'fucking', 'day', 'wrote', 'learned', 'day', 'done', 'ive', 'trying', 'talk', 'day', 'positive', 'stuff', 'like', 'cleaned', 'room', 'point', 'wa', 'like', 'monk', 'room', 'went', 'swim', 'twice', 'week', 'stopped', 'swimming', 'began', 'run', 'hour', 'every', 'day', 'alone', 'course', 'changed', 'clothes', 'hair', 'time', 'trying', 'hide', 'disgusting', 'look', 'found', 'easy', 'job', 'weekend', 'two', 'time', 'could', 'meet', 'even', 'people', 'could', 'pay', 'therapy', 'medication', 'yes', 'thing', 'taking', 'medication', 'social', 'anxiety', 'whole', 'year', 'wa', 'volunteer', 'helped', 'old', 'woman', 'basic', 'stuff', 'like', 'eating', 'going', 'walk', 'tried', 'graduating', 'failed', 'miserably', 'got', 'nothing', 'remembering', 'make', 'feel', 'sooooo', 'tired', 'could', 'barely', 'sleep', 'wanted', 'study', 'change', 'enough', 'friend', 'timei', 'ama', 'failure', 'time', 'ha', 'past', 'nowi', 'ama', 'isolated', 'proffesional', 'philosopheri', 'looking', 'job', 'doesnt', 'worthi', 'amsupposed', 'teacher', 'soon', 'know', 'cant', 'even', 'see', 'teenager', 'couple', 'without', 'wanting', 'end', 'never', 'experience', 'beautiful', 'young', 'woman', 'make', 'feel', 'likei', 'amdone', 'get', 'job', 'keep', 'studying', 'anyway', 'dont', 'want', 'isolated', 'anymore', 'thing', 'going', 'help', 'trying', 'anything', 'know', 'going', 'work', 'money', 'keep', 'job', 'therapy', 'medication', 'expensive', 'meditation', 'going', 'party', 'cant', 'share', 'money', 'incould', 'earn', 'dont', 'want', 'nothing', 'going', 'help', 'nobody', 'help', 'destiny', 'lonely', 'human', 'kill', 'thats', 'whats', 'gonna', 'happeni', 'going', 'jump', 'rooftop', 'one', 'day', 'another', 'soon', 'smoke', 'hour', 'every', 'night', 'trying', 'find', 'courage', 'isolation', 'much', 'ran', 'way', 'scape', 'lonelinessnow', 'barely', 'think', 'feel', 'anything', 'alli', 'amdeeply', 'depressed', 'good', 'day', 'hope', 'energy', 'change', 'past', 'know', 'nothing', 'help', 'matter', 'hard', 'tryi', 'amway', 'ugly', 'beta', 'boring', 'shy', 'time', 'barely', 'think', 'watched', 'like', 'spectator', 'extreme', 'isolation', 'destroyed', 'mind', 'right', 'feel', 'lucid', 'usual', 'wrote', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'retarded', 'person', 'one', 'day', 'end', 'really', 'hope', 'happens', 'soon', 'possible', 'becausei', 'coward', 'litteraly', 'created', 'account', 'reddit', 'could', 'find', 'courage', 'kill', 'myselfsorry', 'bad', 'english', 'dont', 'think', 'able', 'explain', 'killing', 'lucidity', 'rare', 'point', 'thats', 'copypaste', 'mess', 'againi', 'sorry']
355
['tomorrow', 'might', 'dayi', 'yet', 'think', 'tomorrow', 'stayed', 'home', 'school', 'today', 'couldnt', 'bring', 'self', 'go', 'school', 'work', 'like', 'everything', 'okay', 'tomorrow', 'go', 'dress', 'cute', 'look', 'pretty', 'final', 'day', 'make', 'sure', 'hug', 'friend', 'care', 'final', 'goodbye', 'get', 'home', 'need', 'write', 'several', 'letter', 'important', 'family', 'member', 'certain', 'people', 'life', 'youre', 'wondering', 'whyi', 'going', 'kill', 'guess', 'tell', 'life', 'wa', 'mess', 'wa', 'lot', 'shit', 'shouldnt', 'drug', 'sleeping', 'around', 'respecting', 'wa', 'depressed', 'diagnosed', 'depression', 'run', 'fam', 'woohoo', 'something', 'changed', 'dad', 'gave', 'option', 'stay', 'move', 'new', 'state', 'gotten', 'job', 'offer', 'even', 'though', 'liked', 'life', 'time', 'friend', 'would', 'party', 'every', 'weekend', 'something', 'inside', 'told', 'move', 'came', 'currently', 'live', 'life', 'changed', 'much', 'better', 'new', 'better', 'reputation', 'people', 'liked', 'well', 'lot', 'girl', 'still', 'bitchy', 'thats', 'never', 'changed', 'met', 'someone', 'met', 'everything', 'wa', 'perfect', 'instantly', 'clicked', 'best', 'friend', 'lover', 'knew', 'everything', 'past', 'low', 'thing', 'done', 'loved', 'anyways', 'knew', 'everything', 'ive', 'never', 'honest', 'open', 'loving', 'relationship', 'someone', 'really', 'wa', 'one', 'dumb', 'may', 'sound', 'u', 'well', 'summer', 'something', 'changed', 'huge', 'fight', 'something', 'done', 'cheating', 'wa', 'mad', 'even', 'though', 'forgave', 'month', 'afterward', 'acted', 'childish', 'always', 'mad', 'small', 'thing', 'always', 'overprotective', 'always', 'overprotective', 'eachother', 'since', 'took', 'extreme', 'knew', 'wasnt', 'behaving', 'right', 'way', 'time', 'didnt', 'give', 'shit', 'wa', 'still', 'mad', 'doesnt', 'mean', 'didnt', 'love', 'love', 'anything', 'still', 'ton', 'happy', 'time', 'guess', 'bad', 'time', 'canceled', 'guessi', 'idiot', 'ignored', 'warned', 'wasnt', 'happy', 'like', 'last', 'weekend', 'wa', 'breaking', 'point', 'came', 'back', 'trip', 'told', 'wanted', 'break', 'wa', 'serious', 'fought', 'begged', 'told', 'really', 'would', 'change', 'way', 'id', 'acting', 'finally', 'agreed', 'went', 'town', 'following', 'weekend', 'wed', 'mini', 'break', 'promised', 'keep', 'open', 'mind', 'also', 'stay', 'loyal', 'course', 'time', 'away', 'eachother', 'didnt', 'call', 'barely', 'texted', 'wa', 'hardest', 'thing', 'ever', 'someone', 'life', 'constantly', 'long', 'well', 'yesterday', 'flew', 'back', 'lost', 'hope', 'weekend', 'didnt', 'let', 'feel', 'pain', 'told', 'worry', 'day', 'take', 'pain', 'away', 'forever', 'well', 'yesterday', 'something', 'foolish', 'let', 'hope', 'creep', 'back', 'hope', 'would', 'listen', 'believe', 'id', 'change', 'didnt', 'heard', 'meant', 'time', 'bc', 'losing', 'wa', 'stake', 'tried', 'everything', 'spoke', 'heart', 'didnt', 'care', 'wouldnt', 'amdevastatedi', 'mad', 'taking', 'granted', 'love', 'sorry', 'wish', 'could', 'go', 'back', 'time', 'take', 'back', 'point', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'move', 'cant', 'imagine', 'seeing', 'anyone', 'else', 'cant', 'imagine', 'talking', 'anyone', 'else', 'tomorrow', 'day', 'think', 'pick', 'sure', 'method', 'either', 'gabapentin', 'od', 'slicing', 'wrist', 'combo', 'sure', 'outcome', 'jumping', 'cliffbuilding', 'congrats', 'u', 'read', 'miserable', 'story', 'end', 'advice', 'please', 'dont', 'care', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'blah', 'blah', 'dont', 'carei', 'amdone']
380
['hate', 'life', 'think', 'killing', 'everyday', 'dont', 'anyone', 'anything', 'keep', 'stay', 'nothing', 'make', 'happy', 'ive', 'lost', 'interest', 'everything', 'dont', 'care', 'anything', 'life', 'wasnt', 'meant', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'born']
26
['head', 'put', 'gun', 'head', 'pull', 'trigger', 'nowi', 'amdeadconstantly', 'say', 'imagine', 'head', 'actually', 'even', 'finger', 'head', 'tingling', 'sensation', 'side', 'head', 'feel', 'echo', 'telling', 'kill', 'repeating', 'hate', 'life', 'head', 'time']
28
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82
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11
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88
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680
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55
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17
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47
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16
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125
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39
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18
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4
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94
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21
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19
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12
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40
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32
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45
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99
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164
['completely', 'pointless', 'tomorrowi', 'going', 'jump', 'new', 'river', 'gorge', 'bridge', 'west', 'virginia', 'life', 'completely', 'pointless', 'realized', 'year', 'ago', 'th', 'grade', 'science', 'class', 'wa', 'finally', 'freed', 'brainwashing', 'religious', 'mother', 'private', 'christian', 'school', 'went', 'rest', 'life', 'difference', 'actual', 'intelligence', 'social', 'intelligence', 'nonverbal', 'iq', 'iq', 'point', 'never', 'friend', 'everyone', 'known', 'ha', 'always', 'talked', 'condescending', 'way', 'talk', 'friend', 'eight', 'year', 'old', 'son', 'family', 'doesnt', 'give', 'shit', 'dad', 'used', 'relieve', 'anger', 'sister', 'work', 'young', 'didnt', 'usually', 'get', 'physical', 'would', 'timidly', 'accept', 'rage', 'make', 'feel', 'visibly', 'ashamed', 'mom', 'cried', 'felt', 'threatened', 'abuse', 'damaged', 'sister', 'wasis', 'completely', 'narcissistic', 'took', 'sadistic', 'joy', 'hurting', 'whenever', 'could', 'ever', 'fought', 'back', 'parent', 'overheard', 'u', 'bickering', 'would', 'usually', 'come', 'back', 'dynamic', 'changed', 'completely', 'couple', 'year', 'ago', 'family', 'realized', 'wa', 'suicidal', 'mom', 'actually', 'got', 'emotional', 'dad', 'stopped', 'asshole', 'sister', 'still', 'sociopathicnarcissistic', 'parent', 'worried', 'social', 'repercussion', 'death', 'would', 'themduring', 'time', 'missed', 'highschool', 'though', 'got', 'ged', 'despite', 'demonstrating', 'aptitude', 'academia', 'top', 'average', 'senior', 'class', 'via', 'ged', 'benchmarksimulated', 'comparison', 'still', 'communication', 'skill', 'five', 'year', 'old', 'know', 'never', 'able', 'harness', 'potential', 'isnt', 'even', 'great', 'grand', 'scheme', 'thing', 'consider', 'billion', 'people', 'alive', 'matter', 'anyways', 'guessi', 'somewhat', 'thankful', 'trauma', 'endured', 'home', 'school', 'otherwise', 'may', 'never', 'deadened', 'point', 'self', 'aware', 'point', 'life', 'time', 'endless', 'year', 'limited', 'society', 'rise', 'fall', 'ultimate', 'reason', 'humanity', 'progressing', 'towards', 'nothing', 'perception', 'willusion', 'chemical', 'reaction', 'grant', 'cant', 'stand', 'agony', 'knowing', 'pointless', 'existence', 'friend', 'parent', 'directly', 'impacted', 'absence', 'care', 'theyre', 'reason', 'life', 'ha', 'miserable', 'notion', 'get', 'decide', 'whether', 'people', 'live', 'die', 'completely', 'selfish', 'anyways', 'know', 'people', 'often', 'say', 'suicide', 'selfish', 'act', 'reality', 'imposing', 'unbearably', 'miserable', 'life', 'someone', 'else', 'satisfaction', 'selfishill', 'always', 'outcast', 'society', 'point', 'contributing', 'get', 'scorn', 'return', 'really', 'none', 'said', 'matter', 'anyways', 'tldr', 'life', 'pointless', 'post', 'tomorrowi', 'going', 'kill', 'good', 'night']
274
['much', 'pussy', 'actually', 'strong', 'believe', 'hope', 'actually', 'isolate']
8
['exactly', 'suicidal', 'probably', 'dont', 'seek', 'help', 'soon', 'type', 'person', 'talk', 'detail', 'inside', 'try', 'quicklate', 'short', 'guy', 'wa', 'fat', 'whole', 'life', 'recently', 'got', 'shapewas', 'raised', 'extremely', 'religious', 'jewish', 'completely', 'left', 'faith', 'havent', 'told', 'parent', 'yetnever', 'girlfriend', 'ever', 'weight', 'religious', 'barrier', 'cant', 'even', 'start', 'talk', 'girl', 'like', 'normal', 'person', 'many', 'year', 'without', 'interaction', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'marry', 'jewish', 'girl', 'fake', 'jewish', 'soi', 'amfucked', 'wayshave', 'worthless', 'business', 'degree', 'back', 'school', 'go', 'dream', 'surgeonrecently', 'got', 'meniere', 'disease', 'ha', 'completely', 'disrupted', 'life', 'taken', 'away', 'freedom', 'joy', 'disease', 'cause', 'frequent', 'long', 'bout', 'vertigo', 'without', 'rhyme', 'reason', 'cure', 'would', 'never', 'wish', 'worst', 'enemy', 'also', 'rare', 'skin', 'cancer', 'treated', 'deal', 'lifelong', 'repercussion', 'side', 'effect', 'trying', 'get', 'medical', 'school', 'medical', 'issue', 'destroying', 'physical', 'mental', 'health', 'cant', 'get', 'good', 'study', 'schedule', 'going', 'medical', 'problem', 'dream', 'dying', 'rapidly', 'got', 'depression', 'really', 'starting', 'consider', 'suicide', 'near', 'future', 'life', 'pretty', 'much', 'going', 'downhill']
140
['amending', 'basement', 'parent', 'go', 'sleep', 'tonight', 'cant', 'take', 'parent', 'anymore', 'ive', 'depressed', 'year', 'due', 'heavily', 'abused', 'another', 'family', 'parent', 'dont', 'take', 'seriously', 'think', 'ive', 'done', 'everything', 'book', 'try', 'get', 'notice', 'talk', 'instead', 'laugh', 'say', 'bitch', 'muchive', 'also', 'tried', 'take', 'matter', 'hand', 'walk', 'mile', 'local', 'mental', 'health', 'facility', 'find', 'door', 'locked', 'one', 'willing', 'let', 'know', 'facility', 'doesnt', 'rave', 'review', 'seriously', 'much', 'proclaimed', 'righti', 'dont', 'friend', 'irl', 'online', 'dropped', 'high', 'school', 'cant', 'talk', 'anyone', 'course', 'family', 'doesnt', 'want', 'jack', 'shiti', 'everything', 'ready', 'parent', 'living', 'room', 'watching', 'movie', 'ive', 'fed', 'cat', 'one', 'last', 'time', 'thinki', 'amready', 'go']
94
['normal', 'envious', 'someone', 'committed', 'suicide', 'dont', 'thinki', 'amyour', 'typical', 'depressed', 'person', 'maybe', 'dont', 'realize', 'ive', 'depressed', 'since', 'wa', 'amnow', 'dont', 'support', 'system', 'wish', 'dont', 'money', 'therapist', 'drink', 'smoke', 'weed', 'take', 'prescription', 'pill', 'copei', 'dont', 'buy', 'thing', 'boyfriend', 'doe', 'take', 'becausei', 'amthe', 'worst', 'person', 'planet', 'guess', 'start', 'reason', 'thinki', 'depressed', 'wa', 'thought', 'wa', 'perfect', 'life', 'perfect', 'parent', 'day', 'dad', 'left', 'mom', 'wa', 'totally', 'unwarranted', 'even', 'remember', 'sister', 'laughing', 'thought', 'wa', 'joke', 'joke', 'fast', 'forward', 'found', 'cheating', 'mom', 'year', 'mom', 'knew', 'nothing', 'parent', 'friend', 'decided', 'leave', 'dark', 'till', 'divorce', 'wa', 'final', 'sixteen', 'going', 'wa', 'hell', 'remember', 'trying', 'cut', 'wa', 'scared', 'cut', 'deep', 'ended', 'little', 'cat', 'scratch', 'wrist', 'real', 'edgy', 'anyways', 'ive', 'also', 'love', 'someone', 'eh', 'year', 'problem', 'person', 'life', 'different', 'country', 'intention', 'moving', 'statescant', 'say', 'blame', 'honest', 'move', 'dont', 'think', 'would', 'want', 'relationship', 'even', 'though', 'talk', 'frequently', 'tell', 'love', 'time', 'time', 'thats', 'easy', 'say', 'know', 'youll', 'never', 'actually', 'deal', 'consequence', 'telling', 'someone', 'every', 'yeartwo', 'year', 'skip', 'relationship', 'relationship', 'think', 'dont', 'get', 'attached', 'dk', 'really', 'hard', 'mentally', 'even', 'harder', 'dont', 'truly', 'understand', 'itokay', 'fast', 'forward', 'last', 'december', 'found', 'wa', 'pregnant', 'wa', 'weird', 'feeling', 'wa', 'overjoyed', 'think', 'thought', 'would', 'give', 'purpose', 'started', 'new', 'job', 'didnt', 'want', 'tell', 'immediately', 'hid', 'wa', 'hard', 'schedule', 'necessary', 'appointment', 'way', 'though', 'one', 'morning', 'woke', 'horrible', 'cramp', 'didnt', 'fall', 'back', 'asleep', 'wa', 'getting', 'around', 'work', 'wa', 'spotting', 'called', 'work', 'told', 'thought', 'wa', 'ovarian', 'cyst', 'got', 'hospital', 'everyone', 'wa', 'really', 'nicei', 'think', 'already', 'knew', 'wa', 'going', 'fast', 'forward', 'getting', 'ultra', 'sound', 'sitting', 'waiting', 'hour', 'found', 'fetus', 'inside', 'wa', 'dead', 'know', 'long', 'carrying', 'thing', 'inside', 'dead', 'gave', 'option', 'told', 'would', 'think', 'make', 'call', 'insurance', 'provider', 'let', 'know', 'tomorrow', 'sent', 'way', 'pm', 'night', 'miscarriage', 'bed', 'wa', 'painful', 'thing', 'ever', 'experienced', 'nowi', 'ampretty', 'traumatized', 'mentally', 'cant', 'sex', 'anymore', 'putting', 'huge', 'strain', 'relationshipso', 'bought', 'gun', 'boyfriend', 'think', 'want', 'practice', 'shooting', 'real', 'reason', 'bought', 'wa', 'figured', 'would', 'easiest', 'way', 'kill', 'problem', 'isi', 'afraid', 'death', 'could', 'put', 'gun', 'head', 'pull', 'trigger', 'right', 'problem', 'empath', 'know', 'killing', 'would', 'hurt', 'lot', 'people', 'fault', 'dont', 'understand', 'much', 'paini', 'ive', 'tried', 'explain', 'tell', 'sad', 'pas', 'maybe', 'get', 'help', 'well', 'really', 'fucking', 'difficult', 'get', 'help', 'wheni', 'ambarely', 'paying', 'car', 'payment', 'car', 'insurance', 'phone', 'bill', 'rent', 'plus', 'gas', 'hour', 'work', 'ride', 'mf', 'guess', 'explain', 'title', 'involved', 'day', 'ago', 'found', 'someone', 'graduated', 'high', 'school', 'committed', 'suicide', 'family', 'ha', 'known', 'family', 'forever', 'werent', 'ever', 'really', 'friend', 'found', 'cry', 'day', 'long', 'person', 'wa', 'never', 'friend', 'realized', 'wa', 'cry', 'wa', 'envious', 'wanted', 'courage', 'go', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'turn', 'conscience', 'go', 'though', 'iti', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'think', 'killing', 'want', 'bad', 'dont', 'know', 'ever', 'ball', 'thanks', 'reading', 'anyways', 'anyone', 'ha', 'advice', 'anything', 'share', 'id', 'love', 'hear']
430
['person', 'long', 'remember', 'ive', 'felt', 'le', 'valuable', 'people', 'mean', 'work', 'hardi', 'amgood', 'people', 'extremely', 'apathetici', 'amalways', 'aware', 'action', 'affect', 'people', 'best', 'keep', 'influence', 'positive', 'one', 'ha', 'never', 'made', 'difference', 'since', 'childhood', 'ive', 'never', 'one', 'popularity', 'contest', 'ive', 'rarely', 'singularly', 'invited', 'thing', 'non', 'relative', 'didnt', 'start', 'dating', 'til', 'college', 'always', 'get', 'discarded', 'permanently', 'ignored', 'girl', 'mutual', 'friendsi', 'alone', 'worthless', 'dont', 'see', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'drink', 'gallon', 'bleach', 'call', 'quits', 'one', 'ha', 'ever', 'loved', 'never', 'even', 'think', 'wont', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'world', 'like']
80
['doesnt', 'anyone', 'help', 'let', 'rot']
5
['thinking', 'ending', 'thinking', 'ending', 'cause', 'reason', 'livei', 'amjust', 'shit', 'scared', 'matter', 'every', 'yeari', 'amgetting', 'closer', 'day', 'would', 'done', 'life', 'wish', 'something', 'happened', 'naturally', 'end', 'life', 'pain', 'suffering']
27
['contemplating', 'everyday', 'know', 'need', 'help', 'anyone', 'talk', 'senior', 'year', 'ha', 'started', 'spent', 'summer', 'completely', 'alone', 'friend', 'whole', 'life', 'grown', 'bully', 'druggiesalcoholics', 'perceive', 'someone', 'better', 'push', 'away', 'summer', 'wa', 'hard', 'made', 'amends', 'day', 'better', 'others', 'sometimes', 'dick', 'know', 'thinking', 'make', 'new', 'friend', 'really', 'know', 'senior', 'year', 'going', 'seeing', 'anymore', 'people', 'soon', 'anyway', 'wanting', 'friend', 'really', 'fuck', 'upstairsi', 'grown', 'larger', 'kid', 'since', 'started', 'drinking', 'friend', 'almost', 'year', 'ago', 'gaining', 'weight', 'much', 'rapidly', 'get', 'mindset', 'every', 'loose', 'motivation', 'quickly', 'summer', 'grown', 'stretch', 'mark', 'feel', 'absolutely', 'disgusting', 'even', 'want', 'lose', 'try', 'much', 'healthy', 'always', 'forget', 'chowin', 'remember', 'say', 'fuck', 'looking', 'healthy', 'believe', 'ha', 'always', 'kept', 'girlfriend', 'fling', 'guess', 'girl', 'decides', 'every', 'time', 'realize', 'wa', 'using', 'tool', 'wether', 'money', 'someone', 'get', 'affection', 'strongly', 'feel', 'everyone', 'around', 'know', 'feel', 'like', 'use', 'tool', 'would', 'prefer', 'help', 'someone', 'get', 'something', 'need', 'rather', 'stand', 'told', 'nice', 'person', 'almost', 'nice', 'see', 'like', 'said', 'would', 'rather', 'make', 'someone', 'else', 'day', 'even', 'fuck', 'end', 'also', 'think', 'fling', 'ended', 'relationship', 'anything', 'past', 'nd', 'base', 'think', 'loneliness', 'fuck', 'final', 'thing', 'list', 'homefamily', 'situation', 'parent', 'divorced', 'wa', 'agreed', 'parent', 'would', 'get', 'switched', 'house', 'every', 'two', 'day', 'think', 'two', 'home', 'alone', 'fuck', 'switching', 'every', 'two', 'day', 'fuck', 'sister', 'two', 'year', 'younger', 'together', 'always', 'liked', 'mom', 'wa', 'loveable', 'provided', 'much', 'fun', 'laid', 'back', 'living', 'situation', 'wa', 'stern', 'needed', 'dad', 'wa', 'strict', 'fun', 'early', 'year', 'dad', 'ha', 'anger', 'issue', 'alcoholic', 'like', 'yell', 'especially', 'upset', 'grew', 'dad', 'got', 'remarried', 'disliked', 'wa', 'afraid', 'tell', 'mean', 'saybacklash', 'statement', 'doe', 'order', 'u', 'around', 'try', 'control', 'everything', 'including', 'mom', 'generally', 'bitchy', 'even', 'dad', 'think', 'gotten', 'point', 'talk', 'dad', 'much', 'asshole', 'sister', 'stand', 'summer', 'stayed', 'mom', 'dad', 'care', 'mom', 'closer', 'town', 'mom', 'pay', 'filed', 'thing', 'take', 'look', 'child', 'support', 'payment', 'ha', 'since', 'divorce', 'friday', 'wa', 'dad', 'weekend', 'want', 'go', 'tired', 'ignored', 'noon', 'dad', 'called', 'mom', 'told', 'tell', 'talk', 'eventually', 'stepmom', 'blew', 'mom', 'right', 'ha', 'nothing', 'situation', 'finally', 'told', 'mom', 'want', 'live', 'full', 'time', 'dad', 'showed', 'long', 'conversation', 'felt', 'like', 'shit', 'fighting', 'first', 'place', 'want', 'son', 'wa', 'mad', 'mom', 'wanting', 'money', 'seems', 'like', 'wa', 'reason', 'wanted', 'stay', 'confirm', 'could', 'stay', 'say', 'long', 'story', 'long', 'really', 'hate', 'whole', 'situation', 'sad', 'among', 'thing', 'bottle', 'emotion', 'handle', 'stress', 'apologetic', 'literal', 'headache', 'since', 'amonly', 'mediocre', 'thing', 'life', 'feel', 'getting', 'dumb', 'everyday', 'get', 'made', 'fun', 'almost', 'everyone', 'day', 'feel', 'like', 'one', 'actually', 'care', 'reached', 'others', 'literally', 'care', 'wanna', 'live', 'past', 'graduation', 'know', 'would', 'thinking', 'way', 'want', 'decided', 'know', 'one', 'talk', 'sorry', 'place', 'wa', 'trying', 'think', 'everything', 'definitely', 'everything', 'important']
399
['wanna', 'die', 'want', 'die', 'nothing', 'offer', 'worldi', 'complete', 'waste', 'young', 'boy', 'cant', 'even', 'study', 'properly', 'dropout', 'schooli', 'wanna', 'die']
19
['desperate', 'enough', 'live', 'desperate', 'enough', 'die', 'enoughnot', 'desperate', 'enough', 'livenot', 'sick', 'enoughnot', 'poor', 'enoughget', 'lifegrow', 'pairget', 'gripget', 'helpnot', 'desperate', 'enough', 'die']
21
['tired', 'hell', 'fuck', 'posted', 'almost', 'month', 'ago', 'amembarrassed', 'thati', 'amback', 'feeling', 'even', 'worse', 'last', 'time', 'pretty', 'much', 'dont', 'anyone', 'anymoremy', 'life', 'fucking', 'messy', 'really', 'dont', 'think', 'anythings', 'getting', 'better', 'tried', 'killing', 'last', 'night', 'trying', 'tonight', 'literally', 'reason', 'live', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'justdo', 'iti', 'amsurrounded', 'closest', 'friend', 'cant', 'even', 'talk', 'cause', 'dont', 'care', 'best', 'friend', 'ha', 'ignoring', 'wa', 'reason', 'live', 'realized', 'doesnt', 'carei', 'many', 'reason', 'end', 'life', 'reason', 'stay', 'probably', 'might', 'kill', 'hour', 'making', 'post', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'anymore']
79
['cant', 'let', 'go', 'existence', 'important', 'every', 'day', 'painful', 'way', 'change', 'cant', 'opt', 'giving', 'awful', 'cant', 'even', 'say', 'word', 'suicide', 'without', 'feeling', 'stigma', 'airwhy', 'want', 'help', 'every', 'suicidal', 'person', 'see', 'beg', 'live', 'cant', 'apply', 'philosophy', 'myselfwhy', 'cant', 'justnot', 'whats', 'bad']
39
['went', 'vacation', 'escape', 'problem', 'got', 'worse', 'one', 'flew', 'state', 'visit', 'best', 'friend', 'check', 'well', 'figured', 'would', 'also', 'good', 'time', 'work', 'thing', 'ex', 'girlfriend', 'finally', 'naturally', 'wanted', 'spend', 'time', 'family', 'wanted', 'take', 'break', 'already', 'horrible', 'life', 'flew', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'mother', 'best', 'friend', 'end', 'fighting', 'best', 'friend', 'ha', 'leave', 'middle', 'night', 'havent', 'able', 'spend', 'much', 'time', 'together', 'mother', 'upset', 'thati', 'still', 'friend', 'thinksi', 'naive', 'trusting', 'ex', 'cut', 'completely', 'frustrated', 'shes', 'hour', 'away', 'cant', 'see', 'feel', 'like', 'friend', 'feeling', 'honesti', 'thinking', 'straight', 'feel', 'like', 'lost', 'much', 'day', 'wanna', 'run', 'end', 'bottle', 'bourbon', 'stare', 'ceiling', 'tried', 'woke', 'everything', 'wa', 'amplified', 'never', 'felt', 'closer', 'edge', 'ever', 'look', 'mirror', 'cant', 'recognize', 'reflection', 'soi', 'amstaring', 'ceiling', 'listening', 'best', 'friend', 'sleeping', 'radio', 'station', 'shot', 'bourbon', 'system', 'need', 'friendi', 'amscared', 'sad']
123
['think', 'ive', 'breaking', 'point', 'ive', 'always', 'thought', 'suicide', 'thought', 'easy', 'would', 'exist', 'thought', 'always', 'make', 'scared', 'emotional', 'nowi', 'amat', 'peace', 'amcalm', 'think', 'becausei', 'amready', 'think', 'may', 'actually', 'courage', 'go', 'guess', 'kept', 'hoping', 'eventually', 'would', 'make', 'friend', 'people', 'would', 'care', 'ama', 'shitty', 'person', 'people', 'dont', 'like', 'care', 'try', 'hard', 'make', 'friend', 'cant', 'get', 'anyone', 'stay', 'annoying', 'guess', 'boyfriend', 'cant', 'confide', 'doesnt', 'want', 'deal', 'pity', 'party', 'get', 'annoying', 'hate', 'cant', 'confide', 'boyfriend', 'one', 'friend', 'mention', 'cheating', 'flirting', 'girl', 'sending', 'nude', 'telling', 'much', 'want', 'make', 'feel', 'pretty', 'worthless', 'unimportant', 'already', 'felt', 'way', 'starti', 'feel', 'alone', 'alone', 'ever', 'felt', 'even', 'high', 'school', 'wa', 'bullied', 'friend', 'nothing', 'writing', 'cathartic', 'think', 'mostly', 'think', 'skip', 'goodbye', 'suicide', 'note', 'thing', 'last', 'thing', 'need', 'baker', 'acted', 'want', 'donei', 'amstuck', 'hospital', 'work', 'florida', 'hurricane', 'idk', 'go', 'wish', 'good', 'enough', 'someone', 'anyone']
131
['last', 'time', 'wa', 'close', 'possible', 'jump', 'time', 'wont', 'reach', 'someone', 'isnt', 'time', 'wont', 'held', 'back', 'knowing', 'theyd', 'feel', 'guilty', 'time', 'ive', 'seen', 'people', 'react', 'know', 'stand', 'tomorrow', 'morning', 'gone']
29
['know', 'one', 'probably', 'read', 'made', 'post', 'rdepression', 'saying', 'id', 'kill', 'tonightstill', 'thinking', 'tying', 'noose', 'yet', 'still', 'one', 'callall', 'friend', 'helped', 'mei', 'unread', 'message', 'facebook', 'people', 'havent', 'spoken', 'asking', 'ifi', 'amokaynot', 'going', 'reply', 'dont', 'want', 'lie', 'abusive', 'mother', 'dont', 'know', 'dodont', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'trying', 'many', 'year', 'failingall', 'regret', 'wish', 'courage', 'go', 'probably', 'going', 'tonight', 'say', 'lot', 'valium', 'room', 'amthinking', 'sleep', 'want', 'painless', 'thats', 'way', 'think', 'go']
66
['help', 'hey', 'guysi', 'amjust', 'wondering', 'help', 'friend', 'multiple', 'attempt', 'suicide', 'friend', 'mine', 'nearly', 'succeeded', 'thankfully', 'grace', 'whatever', 'believe', 'survived', 'hospital', 'critical', 'condition', 'long', 'road', 'surgery', 'rehabilitation', 'recovery', 'ahead', 'ive', 'know', 'guy', 'year', 'moving', 'country', 'back', 'havent', 'super', 'close', 'occasionally', 'hanging', 'depression', 'well', 'known', 'along', 'alcoholism', 'ha', 'still', 'denied', 'problem', 'ive', 'tried', 'reach', 'without', 'going', 'detail', 'happened', 'think', 'may', 'still', 'want', 'live', 'id', 'like', 'best', 'help', 'anyway', 'please', 'anyone', 'ha', 'advice', 'would', 'greatly', 'appreciated', 'thanks']
74
['military', 'instead', 'suicide', 'ha', 'anyone', 'ever', 'thought', 'gone', 'military', 'instead', 'choosing', 'suicide', 'dont', 'agree', 'war', 'much', 'go', 'know', 'going', 'anywhere', 'wondering', 'anyone', 'ha', 'done', 'thought', 'see', 'reasonable', 'choice']
28
['people', 'say', 'talk', 'somebody', 'dont', 'understand', 'u', 'think', 'cant', 'dont', 'somebody', 'begin', 'title']
13
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183
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283
['sensation', 'wrist', 'like', 'body', 'telling', 'end']
6
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130
['plan', 'soon', 'unless', 'consider', 'next', 'year', 'soon', 'plan', 'end', 'life', 'dont', 'really', 'see', 'point', 'anymore', 'ive', 'peaked', 'ripe', 'age', 'know', 'nothing', 'else', 'come', 'lifei', 'amhorribly', 'lonely', 'cant', 'solved', 'know', 'proceed', 'get', 'lonely', 'dont', 'want', 'continue', 'struggling', 'able', 'sleep', 'cry', 'day', 'day', 'feeling', 'trapped', 'head', 'next', 'year', 'ive', 'secretly', 'made', 'peace', 'people', 'actually', 'care', 'kill', 'without', 'allowing', 'anyone', 'stand', 'way', 'best', 'people', 'around', 'least']
63
['close', 'edge', 'two', 'week', 'ago', 'wa', 'close', 'killing', 'razor', 'go', 'wrist', 'nowi', 'amthinking', 'surreal', 'would', 'mom', 'would', 'alone', 'heartbroken', 'sister', 'would', 'get', 'extremely', 'depressed', 'etc', 'cant', 'shake', 'feeling', 'need', 'die', 'go', 'sleep', 'death', 'mind', 'wake', 'way', 'live', 'getting', 'chopped', 'slowly', 'point', 'small', 'thing', 'set', 'hopefully', 'distract', 'hour', 'mind', 'numbing', 'nonsense', 'hour', 'solving', 'rubiks', 'cube', 'self', 'loathing', 'two', 'hour', 'animeonly', 'pleasure', 'lifei', 'amafraid', 'wont', 'much', 'longeralso', 'anyone', 'massive', 'amount', 'disposable', 'income', 'send', 'dollar', 'nintendo', 'switch', 'thank']
75
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61
['feel', 'losti', 'second', 'year', 'college', 'stuff', 'absolutely', 'hate', 'life', 'seems', 'like', 'spiraling', 'control', 'dont', 'want', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'bei', 'good', 'anything', 'everyone', 'talk', 'leave', 'college', 'basically', 'say', 'default', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'thing', 'want', 'life', 'never', 'feel', 'like', 'able', 'becausei', 'good', 'enough', 'seems', 'like', 'simplest', 'thing', 'would', 'putting', 'shotgun', 'mouth', 'ending', 'everything', 'feel', 'trapped', 'lost', 'alone', 'never', 'wanted', 'go', 'college', 'wanted', 'join', 'army', 'cant', 'becausei', 'amf', 'medically', 'deferred']
67
['best', 'way', 'kill', 'without', 'upsetting', 'othersi', 'amthinking', 'telling', 'people', 'going', 'travelling', 'far', 'place', 'sure', 'able', 'contact', 'go', 'like', 'south', 'africa', 'go', 'fuck', 'jungle', 'could', 'billed', 'tragic', 'accident', 'thought', 'tip', 'pointer']
30
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140
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32
['reflection', 'painful', 'sometimes', 'refuse', 'look', 'mirror', 'day', 'hate', 'see', 'hate', 'body', 'though', 'thati', 'cant', 'look', 'think', 'one', 'want', 'hire', 'ive', 'never', 'relationship', 'never', 'thinki', 'amgood', 'enough', 'dont', 'anything', 'offer', 'world', 'amjust', 'skinny', 'little', 'white', 'boy', 'cant', 'show', 'feeling', 'world', 'else', 'look', 'like', 'pussy', 'never', 'text', 'talk', 'people', 'always', 'think', 'theyre', 'seeing', 'negative', 'light', 'said', 'friend', 'never', 'feel', 'likei', 'ama', 'part', 'groupi', 'ama', 'senior', 'college', 'afraid', 'everything', 'graduate', 'whether', 'alone', 'rest', 'life', 'friend', 'love', 'thought', 'come', 'head', 'look', 'reflection', 'painful', 'look', 'amafraid', 'one', 'thought', 'keep', 'hiding', 'corner', 'waiting', 'come', 'sometimes', 'jump', 'scare', 'go', 'back', 'hour', 'breathe', 'sigh', 'relief', 'still', 'doesnt', 'go', 'away', 'thoughi', 'amterrified', 'could', 'happen', 'decides', 'latch', 'life', 'painful', 'hate', 'reflection']
111
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369
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254
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224
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91
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21
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63
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352
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37
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105
['amcurrently', 'talking', 'internet', 'friend', 'ha', 'searching', 'pull', 'kill', 'pls', 'help', 'say', 'worried', 'making', 'difference', 'anyone', 'kill', 'himslef']
17
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137
['ready', 'die', 'ive', 'ruined', 'mine', 'person', 'meant', 'world', 'livesi', 'cant', 'fix', 'cant', 'chance', 'happiness', 'back', 'everi', 'plan', 'taking', 'many', 'muscle', 'relaxer', 'take', 'make', 'heart', 'stop', 'beating']
26
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115
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49
['could', 'someonr', 'remain', 'anynomous', 'suicide', 'prevention', 'line', 'started', 'hinking', 'common', 'thing', 'people', 'try', 'doi', 'amcurious', 'united', 'state', 'suicide', 'prevention', 'line', 'would', 'allow', 'remain', 'anynomous', 'rather', 'actual', 'line', 'online', 'chat']
29
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76
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104
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52
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1523
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181
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80
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56
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43
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104
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210
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96
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165
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136
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69
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109
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109
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14
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74
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372
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137
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60
['overwhelmed', 'trying', 'make', 'friend', 'college', 'something', 'mei', 'ameither', 'friendly', 'standoffish', 'people', 'dont', 'seem', 'want', 'around', 'mei', 'amjust', 'quiet', 'shy', 'guy', 'befriend', 'automatically', 'assume', 'must', 'like', 'hate', 'living', 'like', 'every', 'night', 'seems', 'faux', 'pa', 'sends', 'spiralling', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'become', 'nervous', 'around', 'people', 'get', 'super', 'choked', 'talk', 'fasti', 'really', 'trying', 'improve', 'build', 'self', 'confidence', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'live', 'feeling']
58
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108
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57
['doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'ever', 'feel', 'like', 'ugly', 'alive', 'thought', 'gotten', 'better', 'coping', 'body', 'image', 'issue', 'general', 'lack', 'confidence', 'starting', 'understand', 'reason', 'whyi', 'amlike', 'however', 'seem', 'sad', 'frequently', 'trust', 'issue', 'anxiety', 'going', 'roof', 'cry', 'almost', 'daily', 'basisi', 'amscaredi', 'amgunna', 'push', 'away', 'guy', 'recently', 'dating', 'ha', 'far', 'wonderful', 'supportive', 'cant', 'comprehend', 'interested', 'bare', 'look', 'almost', 'expect', 'cheat', 'meleave', 'another', 'girl', 'coz', 'would', 'could', 'someone', 'elsei', 'tired', 'feeling', 'like', 'thisi', 'easily', 'triggered', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'take', 'hate', 'bothered', 'superficial', 'thing', 'feel', 'totally', 'useless', 'human', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'like', 'want', 'happy', 'pleasant', 'around', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'like', 'friend', 'dont', 'get', 'seeing', 'photo', 'reflection', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'deserve', 'killed', 'anyone', 'relate', 'would', 'appreciate', 'someone', 'willing', 'listen', 'talk', 'help', 'way', 'tldr', 'really', 'struggling', 'body', 'imagedysmoprhiaconfidence', 'scared', 'hurt', 'relationship', 'wise', 'anyone', 'relate', 'help', 'would', 'appreciate', 'someone', 'talk']
131
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79
['give', 'school', 'friend', 'told', 'someone', 'gun', 'wa', 'threatening', 'shoot', 'school', 'ended', 'telling', 'police', 'officer', 'later', 'day', 'found', 'gave', 'false', 'info', 'person', 'gun', 'tried', 'fix', 'teacher', 'told', 'stay', 'school', 'let', 'day', 'recieved', 'message', 'person', 'said', 'gun', 'didnt', 'said', 'hope', 'kill', 'want', 'cut', 'wrist', 'said', 'ever', 'get', 'pregnant', 'hope', 'kid', 'diei', 'already', 'major', 'depressioni', 'amscared', 'go', 'back', 'school', 'give', 'kill']
58
['feel', 'like', 'ghost', 'want', 'talk', 'people', 'worried', 'afraid', 'approach', 'people', 'thinking', 'theyll', 'thinki', 'amweird', 'annoying', 'stay', 'silent', 'hesitate', 'say', 'people', 'ive', 'got', 'one', 'talk', 'real', 'life', 'thats', 'want', 'cant', 'keep', 'thing', 'boring', 'wa', 'deadi', 'amsure', 'people', 'class', 'would', 'surprised', 'waswas', 'class']
41
['color', 'sky', 'blueand', 'grass', 'greenbut', 'youto', 'tell', 'bemy', 'skin', 'tanand', 'blood', 'redif', 'held', 'handmaybe', 'none', 'would', 'shedmy', 'faith', 'godhas', 'long', 'since', 'gonebecause', 'thought', 'lovei', 'guess', 'wa', 'wrong']
27
['last', 'week', 'cant', 'endure', 'pain', 'longer', 'many', 'year', 'forgot', 'last', 'time', 'felt', 'okay', 'many', 'mental', 'physical', 'health', 'problem', 'wont', 'seem', 'able', 'independent', 'rate', 'feel', 'may', 'well', 'vegetable', 'point', 'useless', 'health', 'problem', 'refuse', 'burden', 'dead', 'weight', 'weighing', 'friend', 'family', 'ive', 'come', 'term', 'fact', 'probably', 'wasnt', 'one', 'one', 'meant', 'live', 'long', 'happy', 'life', 'feeli', 'amprobably', 'going', 'put', 'end', 'week']
57
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258
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269
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86
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40
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37
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69
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250
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279
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18
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8
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65
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28
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38
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169
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400
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45
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15
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8
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49
['god', 'real', 'motherfucker', 'love', 'irony', 'dont', 'know', 'ha', 'escaped', 'long', 'remembered', 'state', 'practically', 'doesnt', 'gun', 'lawsi', 'amup', 'chest', 'credit', 'card', 'debt', 'sell', 'security', 'able', 'afford', 'gun', 'ammo', 'course', 'car', 'break', 'came', 'realization', 'soi', 'ammarooned', 'college', 'campus', 'time', 'get', 'car', 'fixed', 'might', 'still', 'feel', 'like', 'holy', 'shiti', 'amkind', 'scared']
48
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47
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15
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241
['lol', 'yeah', 'like', 'mom', 'passed', 'away', 'like', 'month', 'ago', 'moved', 'brother', 'snd', 'stuff', 'like', 'got', 'friend', 'dirched', 'shit', 'uhh', 'yeah', 'dont', 'invite', 'party', 'anymore', 'work', 'ha', 'tedious', 'stressful', 'yikes', 'uhi', 'pretty', 'sport', 'active', 'guess', 'depressed', 'year', 'probs', 'gonna', 'leave', 'like', 'week', 'two']
42
['sure', 'right', 'place', 'ask', 'need', 'sometimes', 'thought', 'nice', 'would', 'kill', 'deadi', 'suffering', 'depression', 'compared', 'people', 'need', 'ear', 'sub', 'good', 'life', 'however', 'like', 'said', 'would', 'rather', 'dead', 'day', 'wa', 'wondering', 'could', 'could', 'help', 'dont', 'thinki', 'amsuicidal', 'knowi', 'ama', 'huge', 'failure', 'far', 'life', 'knowing', 'make', 'every', 'day', 'feel', 'long', 'want', 'short', 'life', 'end', 'already', 'question', 'really', 'know', 'could', 'bringing', 'thought', 'doctor', 'saysi', 'depressed']
61
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47
['christian', 'morally', 'wrong', 'wish', 'death', 'dont', 'think', 'could', 'kill', 'would', 'faith', 'want', 'die', 'please', 'help', 'faith', 'definitely', 'would', 'considered', 'bad', 'case', 'act', 'intentional', 'killing', 'murder', 'many', 'scholar', 'believe', 'since', 'ask', 'redemption', 'earth', 'simply', 'way', 'hell', 'god', 'forgive', 'u', 'sin', 'pray', 'seek', 'redemption', 'however', 'cant', 'exactly', 'sincere', 'conduct', 'action', 'really', 'want', 'moral', 'good', 'christian', 'simple', 'give', 'life', 'god', 'join', 'church', 'monastery', 'become', 'monkvolunteer', 'live', 'life', 'god', 'one', 'else', 'even']
68
['tonight', 'night', 'goodbye', 'thank', 'everything', 'youve', 'given', 'note', 'top', 'left', 'drawer', 'vanity', 'love']
13
['website', 'provide', 'proper', 'guide', 'easy', 'painless', 'suicide', 'ive', 'watching', 'video', 'last', 'week', 'youtube', 'tie', 'noose', 'hang', 'sure', 'right', 'id', 'prefer', 'painlessly', 'dose', 'combination', 'drug', 'really', 'tried', 'killing', 'eating', 'peanut', 'wa', 'allergic', 'seems', 'grew', 'allergy', 'didnt', 'get', 'reaction']
37
['tomorrow', 'ive', 'chosen', 'wait', 'anymore', 'well', 'technically', 'night', 'probably', 'wont', 'sleep', 'note', 'written', 'ive', 'sent', 'text', 'thanking', 'friend', 'wish', 'wa', 'another', 'way', 'wish', 'could', 'see', 'think', 'timei', 'amgonna', 'get', 'wasted', 'get', 'car', 'turn', 'radio', 'carbon', 'dioxide', 'sleep', 'goodif', 'friend', 'see', 'thisi', 'sooo', 'sorry', 'fault']
44
['life', 'crumbling', 'dont', 'anyone', 'talk', 'figured', 'come', 'dont', 'know', 'suicide', 'ha', 'mind', 'heavy', 'weekswell', 'really', 'past', 'ten', 'year', 'youre', 'life', 'completely', 'alone', 'want', 'find', 'way', 'get', 'fucked', 'numb', 'want', 'die', 'amentirely', 'chicken', 'sit', 'miserable', 'hating', 'everything', 'someone', 'feel', 'bad', 'enough', 'go', 'ahead', 'put', 'misery', 'think', 'much', 'want', 'pain', 'stop', 'need', 'someone', 'show', 'compassion', 'love', 'act', 'like', 'would', 'destroy', 'lose', 'like', 'destroys', 'every', 'time', 'always', 'someone', 'important', 'going', 'one', 'matter', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'ameven', 'trying', 'look', 'compassioni', 'sorry']
77
['want', 'die']
2
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88
['one', 'year', 'old', 'work', 'full', 'time', 'social', 'service', 'typically', 'work', 'hour', 'week', 'barely', 'make', 'end', 'meet', 'took', 'week', 'july', 'without', 'overtime', 'took', 'financial', 'hit', 'almost', 'couldnt', 'buy', 'food', 'didnt', 'even', 'anything', 'go', 'anywhere', 'wa', 'literally', 'staycation', 'mostly', 'played', 'video', 'game', 'went', 'walk', 'parki', 'college', 'degree', 'get', 'second', 'job', 'essentially', 'work', 'day', 'week', 'save', 'money', 'life', 'cant', 'afford', 'life', 'wont', 'time', 'endless', 'cycle', 'tired', 'feel', 'heavy', 'air', 'hurt', 'skin', 'feel', 'raw', 'much', 'want', 'feel', 'guilty', 'feel', 'peace', 'knowledge', 'sometime', 'soon', 'die', 'one', 'everyone', 'else', 'sad', 'eventually', 'move', 'theyll', 'get', 'life', 'longer', 'fuckup', 'burden', 'feel', 'obligated', 'invite', 'place', 'required', 'talk', 'wont', 'support', 'financially', 'emotionally', 'hope', 'gain', 'freedom', 'hope', 'provide', 'well', 'like', 'happy', 'happy', 'long', 'time', 'always', 'unsuccessful', 'relationship', 'try', 'many', 'thing', 'barely', 'rise', 'mediocrity', 'people', 'sayi', 'amgood', 'something', 'like', 'feel', 'like', 'lie', 'feel', 'like', 'making', 'fun', 'always', 'ha', 'felt', 'way', 'tired', 'want', 'done']
141
['hate', 'city', 'cant', 'move', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'option', 'earlysf', 'living', 'dangerous', 'city', 'grad', 'school', 'year', 'phd', 'city', 'terrible', 'walking', 'home', 'middle', 'day', 'today', 'stopped', 'crosswalk', 'waiting', 'light', 'change', 'got', 'pushed', 'shoved', 'sleazy', 'man', 'started', 'berating', 'calling', 'whre', 'asking', 'trying', 'sell', 'said', 'must', 'cheap', 'whre', 'nail', 'arent', 'even', 'done', 'etc', 'said', 'leave', 'alone', 'two', 'men', 'started', 'saying', 'thing', 'immediately', 'turned', 'walked', 'direction', 'yelled', 'profanity', 'screamed', 'ton', 'people', 'around', 'one', 'said', 'anything', 'even', 'attempted', 'help', 'cant', 'believe', 'mids', 'couple', 'crosswalk', 'didnt', 'say', 'anything', 'wa', 'phone', 'mom', 'entire', 'time', 'heard', 'everythingthis', 'even', 'close', 'first', 'time', 'ha', 'happened', 'worst', 'experience', 'even', 'kind', 'encounter', 'homeless', 'mentally', 'high', 'people', 'happens', 'least', 'week', 'public', 'transportation', 'wa', 'byproduct', 'walking', 'home', 'hate', 'city', 'hate', 'living', 'love', 'school', 'though', 'also', 'everyone', 'proud', 'going', 'parent', 'told', 'everyone', 'attending', 'grad', 'school', 'already', 'call', 'doctor', 'mylastname', 'loving', 'way', 'proud', 'cant', 'switch', 'grad', 'school', 'cant', 'move', 'hell', 'hole', 'tried', 'talking', 'therapist', 'said', 'something', 'paranoia', 'threatened', 'take', 'medication', 'adhd', 'happily', 'year', 'increase', 'paranoia', 'dont', 'understand', 'scared', 'leave', 'house', 'paranoia', 'least', 'week', 'someone', 'say', 'something', 'terrible', 'threatens', 'mugged', 'twice', 'since', 'lived', 'feel', 'like', 'option', 'killing', 'could', 'probably', 'walk', 'home', 'night', 'purse', 'end', 'shot', 'within', 'month', 'completely', 'honest', 'cant', 'live', 'anymore']
194
['numb', 'alone', 'tired', 'fighting', 'soi', 'asked', 'best', 'friend', 'let', 'know', 'general', 'tell', 'mentalemotionalpsychological', 'state', 'shes', 'got', 'something', 'mind', 'told', 'passed', 'point', 'ago', 'kindadont', 'want', 'live', 'see', 'birthday', 'nowits', 'day', 'away', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'knew', 'everyone', 'else', 'hated', 'could', 'deal', 'fucking', 'best', 'friend', 'told', 'doesnt', 'time', 'energy', 'deal', 'shit', 'ive', 'helped', 'much', 'life', 'shouldve', 'seen', 'coming', 'didnt', 'put', 'effort', 'comforting', 'couple', 'attempt', 'stopped', 'trying', 'console', 'help', 'flat', 'told', 'plan', 'ignored', 'suggested', 'wa', 'stubborn', 'set', 'listening', 'matter', 'said', 'thisi', 'numb', 'cant', 'feel', 'anything', 'anymore', 'like', 'snapped', 'inside', 'literally', 'cant', 'fucking', 'move', 'body', 'much', 'pain', 'give', 'wa', 'last', 'reason', 'stay', 'fucking', 'point', 'anymore', 'thats', 'gone', 'tired', 'fighting', 'iti', 'amready', 'fucking', 'die']
108
['tinnitus', 'going', 'kill', 'hi', 'began', 'experiencing', 'wooshing', 'sound', 'ear', 'last', 'tuesday', 'aug', 'th', 'wa', 'chalked', 'ear', 'infection', 'time', 'experienced', 'constant', 'panic', 'attack', 'fearing', 'wa', 'going', 'last', 'forever', 'day', 'ago', 'felt', 'much', 'better', 'nowhere', 'vanished', 'however', 'today', 'ha', 'come', 'back', 'feel', 'hopeless', 'ever', 'live', 'longer', 'suicide', 'matter', 'time', 'saw', 'ent', 'told', 'wa', 'making', 'full', 'recovery', 'ear', 'infection', 'lo', 'behold', 'wooshing', 'back', 'live', 'ha', 'vanishedi', 'much', 'shit', 'due', 'next', 'week', 'ear', 'thing', 'want', 'die', 'told', 'boyfriend', 'suffering', 'many', 'time', 'tired', 'hearing', 'told', 'parent', 'saidi', 'sorry', 'honey', 'one', 'actually', 'care', 'want', 'die', 'saying', 'thing', 'like', 'want', 'die', 'kill', 'think', 'gotten', 'used', 'well', 'joke', 'sooner', 'lateri', 'going', 'end', 'fucking', 'dirt']
106
['help', 'gf', 'ha', 'considered', 'suicide', 'selfharm', 'past', 'hey', 'reddit', 'problem', 'girlfriend', 'context', 'high', 'schoollast', 'night', 'girlfriend', 'asked', 'ever', 'suicidal', 'never', 'immediately', 'felt', 'concerned', 'knew', 'conversation', 'wa', 'heading', 'revealed', 'ha', 'suicidal', 'asked', 'ever', 'selfharmed', 'told', 'ha', 'considered', 'said', 'year', 'ago', 'felt', 'alone', 'pair', 'scissors', 'wa', 'thinking', 'stabbing', 'stomach', 'moment', 'told', 'gave', 'big', 'hug', 'told', 'always', 'talk', 'somebody', 'could', 'talk', 'ever', 'needed', 'honestly', 'didnt', 'know', 'else', 'say', 'date', 'didnt', 'want', 'upset', 'saying', 'something', 'might', 'like', 'even', 'write', 'recall', 'telling', 'wa', 'elementary', 'threatened', 'schoolmate', 'bullying', 'would', 'kill', 'time', 'told', 'wa', 'shocked', 'rationalized', 'mind', 'wa', 'probably', 'lying', 'bully', 'would', 'back', 'said', 'kind', 'laughing', 'tone', 'assumed', 'stupidly', 'wa', 'right', 'exhibit', 'sign', 'depression', 'asked', 'parent', 'hated', 'met', 'ha', 'pretty', 'low', 'image', 'bodythis', 'need', 'advice', 'really', 'want', 'help', 'really', 'really', 'like', 'would', 'never', 'leave', 'something', 'like', 'ive', 'reading', 'stuff', 'sure', 'whenhow', 'approach', 'subject', 'wait', 'bring', 'offer', 'chance', 'talk', 'something', 'serious', 'ever', 'happens', 'thanks', 'advance']
147
['amunwanted', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'world', 'one', 'want', 'mei', 'college', 'went', 'sorority', 'rush', 'didnt', 'get', 'sorority', 'tried', 'apply', 'join', 'another', 'organization', 'campus', 'got', 'turned', 'away', 'dont', 'belong', 'anywhere', 'mom', 'extremely', 'emotionally', 'abusive', 'day', 'got', 'turned', 'away', 'organization', 'grandma', 'died', 'wa', 'extremely', 'close', 'loved', 'lot', 'mom', 'telling', 'wasnt', 'important', 'boyfriend', 'never', 'try', 'take', 'date', 'barely', 'make', 'effort', 'even', 'see', 'together', 'year', 'constantly', 'tell', 'feel', 'neglected', 'unwanted', 'continues', 'ignore', 'neglect', 'dont', 'best', 'friend', 'people', 'thought', 'friend', 'hang', 'never', 'invite', 'mei', 'amjust', 'never', 'wanted', 'anyone', 'want', 'someone', 'best', 'friend', 'want', 'someone', 'first', 'choice', 'choice', 'dont', 'understand', 'nobody', 'like', 'nice', 'people', 'really', 'want', 'make', 'friend', 'one', 'like']
102
['police', 'make', 'suicidal', 'make', 'long', 'short', 'storyi', 'getting', 'justice', 'people', 'wrong', 'instead', 'locked', 'sent', 'mental', 'hospital', 'family', 'member', 'physically', 'abuse', 'mei', 'dont', 'understand', 'whati', 'wrongwhy', 'getting', 'justice']
27
['time', 'low', 'think', 'ive', 'hit', 'rock', 'bottom', 'life', 'ibs', 'paired', 'numerous', 'food', 'allergiesgluten', 'dairy', 'sunflower', 'oil', 'chemical', 'sensitive', 'anything', 'imaginecant', 'use', 'toothpaste', 'cant', 'drink', 'anything', 'except', 'distilled', 'water', 'mass', 'growing', 'testicle', 'ive', 'dealt', 'going', 'bathroom', 'time', 'day', 'long', 'rememberi', 'raw', 'day', 'week', 'making', 'uncomfortable', 'even', 'walk', 'around', 'job', 'chronic', 'general', 'social', 'anxiety', 'uncomfortable', 'constipated', 'pain', 'day', 'ha', 'developed', 'public', 'school', 'system', 'caused', 'ibs', 'successful', 'outside', 'amjust', 'miserable', 'real', 'explanation', 'health', 'issue', 'ive', 'low', 'time', 'amafraidi', 'going', 'act', 'soon', 'amassuming', 'invest', 'life', 'insurance', 'know', 'doesnt', 'payout', 'commit', 'suicide']
87
['marriage', 'slipping', 'away', 'tired', 'honestly', 'wish', 'could', 'go', 'home', 'commit', 'suicide', 'least', 'family', 'get', 'insurance', 'moneytldr', 'midlife', 'crisis', 'career', 'dead', 'marriage', 'slipping', 'away']
23
['thinki', 'amjinxed', 'much', 'bad', 'luck', 'waydidnt', 'anything', 'wrongused', 'treated', 'poorlyi', 'cut', 'everyone', 'feel', 'people', 'dont', 'tke', 'seriously', 'enough']
18
['everyone', 'loses', 'interest', 'eventually', 'literally', 'one', 'birthday', 'le', 'two', 'week', 'plan', 'hanging', 'week', 'literally', 'nothing', 'live', 'ive', 'never', 'depressed', 'extended', 'period', 'time', 'worst', 'part', 'nothing', 'helping', 'ive', 'depressed', 'last', 'year', 'life', 'since', 'wa', 'therapy', 'didnt', 'help', 'medicine', 'didnt', 'help', 'people', 'thought', 'friend', 'deserted', 'family', 'doesnt', 'want', 'anything', 'mei', 'amsuffering', 'fucking', 'muchi', 'amjust', 'barely', 'surviving', 'day', 'day', 'depression', 'untreatable', 'want', 'shitty', 'life', 'end', 'already']
63
['going', 'kill', 'monday', 'loneliness', 'point', 'optimism', 'cant', 'find', 'relationship', 'end', 'heartbreak', 'patience', 'wait', 'one', 'depression', 'social', 'anxiety', 'get', 'angry', 'people', 'easily', 'kill', 'wont', 'live', 'painful', 'life', 'longer', 'fault', 'everyone', 'else', 'full', 'immature', 'dont', 'respect', 'leave', 'maybe', 'theyll', 'realize', 'missed', 'want', 'sad', 'want', 'cry', 'deserve', 'every', 'thing', 'theyve', 'done', 'every', 'time', 'ignored', 'purposely', 'paintheyll', 'cry', 'miss', 'theyre', 'liar', 'denied', 'request', 'relationship', 'get', 'leave', 'permanently', 'deserve', 'every', 'ounce', 'guilt', 'theyll', 'feel', 'messaged', 'suicide', 'letter', 'cryptic', 'goodbye', 'told', 'guilty', 'spamming', 'inboxes', 'begging', 'stopfunny', 'didnt', 'message', 'though', 'didnt', 'message', 'ask', 'night', 'wa', 'going', 'plan', 'weekend', 'ignored', 'becausei', 'amfucking', 'worthless', 'deserve', 'live', 'ending', 'guilty', 'conscious', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'havent', 'tried', 'therapy', 'filling', 'artificial', 'toxic', 'pill', 'yet', 'two', 'good']
112
['give', 'one', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'sooni', 'amsick', 'struggling', 'everyday', 'without', 'social', 'interaction', 'regret', 'pile', 'upi', 'ama', 'weird', 'stupid', 'person', 'honestly', 'dont', 'thinki', 'going', 'make', 'collegei', 'going', 'cry', 'sleep', 'rn', 'millionth', 'time']
31
['thinki', 'amdone', 'lot', 'write', 'make', 'short', 'possiblei', 'mi', 'ama', 'combat', 'vet', 'multiple', 'tour', 'found', 'father', 'committed', 'suicided', 'ruined', 'marriage', 'ive', 'felt', 'emotionally', 'numb', 'year', 'feel', 'anger', 'sadness', 'cant', 'change', 'way', 'feeli', 'looking', 'forward', 'dying', 'make', 'happy', 'thinking', 'iti', 'looking', 'sympathyi', 'amthe', 'cause', 'ruini', 'good', 'person', 'ever']
46
['friend', 'suicidal', 'dont', 'know', 'help', 'recently', 'started', 'talking', 'someone', 'one', 'online', 'turn', 'severely', 'depressed', 'suicidal', 'ha', 'told', 'planning', 'kill', 'finished', 'school', 'live', 'different', 'country', 'go', 'help', 'ha', 'said', 'lot', 'friend', 'left', 'betrayed', 'unable', 'trust', 'anyone', 'anymore', 'trying', 'best', 'help', 'keep', 'going', 'wanting', 'helped', 'wanting', 'helped', 'every', 'time', 'think', 'convinced', 'get', 'help', 'change', 'mind', 'minute', 'later', 'decides', 'want', 'die', 'insteadi', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'read', 'thing', 'side', 'bar', 'dont', 'think', 'helping', 'dont', 'know', 'say', 'please', 'help', 'help', 'scared', 'kill', 'fault', 'couldnt', 'help']
81
['dont', 'want', 'live', 'inferior', 'human', 'anymore', 'hey', 'guy', 'gal', 'really', 'need', 'place', 'get', 'chest', 'goesim', 'currently', 'turning', 'january', 'summer', 'wa', 'bed', 'bound', 'whole', 'summer', 'due', 'brain', 'injury', 'accident', 'happened', 'wa', 'getting', 'life', 'back', 'track', 'giving', 'uni', 'sport', 'much', 'knee', 'allowed', 'trying', 'get', 'know', 'people', 'wa', 'effort', 'change', 'life', 'hermit', 'poor', 'social', 'skill', 'low', 'ambition', 'spend', 'year', 'uni', 'getting', 'fat', 'hiding', 'people', 'work', 'although', 'got', 'rid', 'fat', 'still', 'strech', 'mark', 'place', 'notasgoodasitusedtobe', 'physique', 'due', 'knee', 'problem', 'wont', 'fucking', 'go', 'away', 'add', 'inferiority', 'complex', 'feel', 'failed', 'life', 'core', 'wasted', 'important', 'year', 'life', 'succesful', 'human', 'milestone', 'missed', 'cannot', 'even', 'try', 'turn', 'around', 'wa', 'semi', 'succesful', 'last', 'year', 'accident', 'seems', 'mistake', 'stain', 'forever', 'better', 'future', 'fucking', 'past', 'cannot', 'change', 'make', 'want', 'kill', 'bad', 'really', 'think', 'cannot', 'get', 'far', 'life', 'could', 'lower', 'brain', 'processing', 'power', 'got', 'older', 'nowi', 'get', 'lot', 'shit', 'saying', 'home', 'really', 'think', 'true', 'mistake', 'arent', 'even', 'reversible', 'like', 'stretchmarks', 'would', 'live', 'consequence', 'life', 'long', 'maybe', 'getting', 'equal', 'relative', 'cannot', 'undo', 'isolation', 'experience', 'peer', 'thirty', 'wouldnt', 'matter', 'cannot', 'happy', 'wasnt', 'happy', 'early', 'righti', 'still', 'try', 'change', 'moment', 'asi', 'amrecovering', 'choice', 'giving', 'killing', 'really', 'like', 'second', 'option', 'much', 'better', 'moment', 'cannot', 'stand', 'inferior', 'even', 'may', 'mind']
192
['dont', 'know', 'say', 'want', 'kill', 'like', 'today', 'tomorrowi', 'tired', 'feeling', 'shitty', 'nobody', 'care', 'good', 'anything', 'need', 'someone', 'becausei', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'actually']
21
['sexual', 'repression', 'ruining', 'ive', 'always', 'considered', 'creep', 'ugly', 'weird', 'unworthy', 'loser', 'doubt', 'ever', 'someone', 'connect', 'connects', 'killing', 'mei', 'amfrustratedi', 'angryive', 'professional', 'therapy', 'depression', 'year', 'lead', 'nowhere', 'even', 'made', 'thing', 'worse', 'ive', 'never', 'knew', 'express', 'wa', 'bothering', 'much', 'cannot', 'stress', 'enough', 'much', 'hate', 'talking', 'make', 'feel', 'bad', 'ive', 'never', 'positive', 'experience', 'sex', 'much', 'hate', 'frustrated', 'nothing', 'itive', 'considered', 'suicide', 'many', 'time', 'day', 'seems', 'want', 'even', 'know', 'suicide', 'soon', 'dont', 'want', 'dont', 'want', 'suffer', 'anymore']
73
['rd', 'try', 'maybe', 'todayi', 'amfed', 'life', 'depression', 'year', 'cant', 'stand', 'anymore', 'girlfriend', 'engaged', 'commited', 'suicide', 'best', 'friend', 'died', 'nearly', 'lost', 'everything', 'terrible', 'thing', 'job', 'got', 'serious', 'problem', 'heart', 'doctor', 'say', 'left', 'year', 'live', 'tried', 'end', 'time', 'didnt', 'work']
38
['unhappy', 'job', 'working', 'wholesale', 'club', 'year', 'started', 'job', 'enrolled', 'college', 'dropped', 'feel', 'underlying', 'need', 'get', 'retail', 'sucking', 'life', 'lately', 'anxiety', 'attack', 'losing', 'weight', 'appetite', 'un', 'happy', 'job', 'brother', 'ha', 'opening', 'car', 'wash', 'detail', 'car', 'le', 'detailing', 'car', 'hobby', 'see', 'pro', 'job', 'asan', 'attempt', 'get', 'situation', 'something', 'bad', 'happens', 'outside', 'job', 'tip', 'detail', 'experience', 'tell', 'people', 'go', 'charge', 'half', 'wash', 'doe', 'management', 'ok', 'pay', 'semester', 'go', 'school', 'con', 'le', 'pay', 'business', 'depends', 'weather', 'believe', 'finance', 'ok', 'since', 'rent', 'bill', 'equal', 'around', 'soom', 'need', 'advice', 'anxiety', 'kill']
85
['ex', 'called', 'proposed', 'promised', 'better', 'worse', 'broke', 'worst', 'came', 'shes', 'calling', 'shes', 'sad', 'shes', 'sad', 'ive', 'never', 'depressed', 'life', 'ive', 'never', 'actually', 'plan', 'death', 'know', 'exactly', 'many', 'pill', 'take', 'end', 'know', 'high', 'traffic', 'time', 'busiest', 'road', 'city', 'know', 'bridge', 'gain', 'access', 'far', 'would', 'fall', 'shes', 'sad', 'amlost', 'isnt', 'lovely']
49
['compulsive', 'liar', 'back', 'update', 'thank', 'reddit', 'hi', 'posted', 'day', 'ago', 'roof', 'nearby', 'building', 'wa', 'raining', 'wa', 'prepared', 'end', 'reached', 'help', 'received', 'met', 'one', 'greatest', 'people', 'ive', 'met', 'long', 'time', 'ive', 'known', 'day', 'two', 'thank', 'reddit', 'much', 'may', 'long', 'amhere', 'least', 'one', 'day']
42
['suicide', 'prevention']
2
['cant', 'get', 'past', 'brother', 'year', 'older', 'wa', 'girl', 'friend', 'cheated', 'cant', 'get', 'iti', 'fill', 'like', 'wa', 'yesterday', 'took', 'everything', 'friend', 'family', 'school', 'life', 'wa', 'hell', 'even', 'teacher', 'thought', 'wa', 'funny', 'lot', 'popular', 'wa', 'wa', 'like', 'pound', 'nowi', 'use', 'anger', 'day', 'drive', 'point', 'still', 'hurt', 'havent', 'brought', 'girl', 'home', 'since', 'knowi', 'amjust', 'pussy', 'dont', 'think', 'handle', 'happens', 'cant', 'trust', 'one', 'killing', 'life', 'people', 'care', 'lot', 'help', 'plz', 'talk', 'though']
68
['interesting', 'hi', 'first', 'reddit', 'post', 'gonna', 'happy', 'onei', 'amlike', 'crazy', 'sad', 'right', 'lonely', 'feel', 'completely', 'worthless', 'started', 'uni', 'last', 'year', 'drop', 'mental', 'health', 'reason', 'nowi', 'amliving', 'back', 'london', 'really', 'shitty', 'waitressing', 'job', 'ive', 'lying', 'flat', 'kitchen', 'floor', 'hour', 'trying', 'muster', 'courage', 'anything', 'hate', 'dropping', 'friend', 'stayed', 'uni', 'making', 'success', 'friend', 'social', 'life', 'go', 'work', 'go', 'home', 'drink', 'smoke', 'ive', 'got', 'mildly', 'tragic', 'backstory', 'history', 'depression', 'etc', 'wont', 'bore', 'everyone', 'thati', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'wherei', 'going', 'sorryi', 'guessi', 'amjust', 'looking', 'tiny', 'bit', 'hope', 'kind', 'need', 'someone', 'tell', 'stuff', 'might', 'okay', 'going', 'stuck', 'like', 'forever']
93
['wtf', 'nothing', 'make', 'happy', 'anymore', 'gaming', 'going', 'outside', 'friend', 'family', 'thing', 'kept', 'going', 'feel', 'like', 'chore', 'depression', 'ha', 'taken', 'nothing', 'making', 'happy', 'wtf']
23
['feel', 'one', 'caresi', 'amf', 'depressed', 'anxious', 'suicidal', 'ama', 'senior', 'barely', 'make', 'day', 'school', 'cant', 'stand', 'everyday', 'filled', 'pain', 'come', 'anxiety', 'feel', 'ashamed', 'worthless', 'pathetic', 'parent', 'know', 'anxiety', 'problem', 'nothing', 'really', 'done', 'depression', 'havent', 'told', 'father', 'would', 'straight', 'tell', 'mei', 'depressed', 'thati', 'amacting', 'stupid', 'mother', 'would', 'stand', 'saying', 'anything', 'look', 'around', 'know', 'one', 'really', 'care', 'anyone', 'teacher', 'walk', 'around', 'doctor', 'see', 'none', 'actually', 'care', 'theyre', 'job', 'sake', 'money', 'reason', 'havent', 'killed', 'got', 'tied', 'relationship', 'severe', 'thought', 'came', 'suicide', 'freeing', 'everyone', 'including', 'see', 'life', 'negative', 'light', 'cant', 'get', 'helpi', 'amlost', 'one', 'around', 'boyfriend', 'online', 'hundred', 'mile', 'away', 'promised', 'wouldnt', 'commit', 'suicide', 'soi', 'amstuck', 'pain', 'dont', 'want', 'cause', 'painyoud', 'think', 'going', 'much', 'pain', 'long', 'youd', 'grow', 'numb', 'dont', 'suffer', 'suffer']
117
['amtrapped', 'dayi', 'amhaving', 'hard', 'time', 'justifying', 'existence', 'even', 'bother', 'rolling', 'bed', 'morningcollectively', 'household', 'way', 'many', 'bill', 'piling', 'nowhere', 'near', 'enough', 'money', 'barely', 'penny', 'rub', 'together', 'seems', 'job', 'like', 'hair', 'minimum', 'wage', 'soulcrushing', 'hell', 'free', 'time', 'basically', 'spent', 'helping', 'another', 'family', 'member', 'pursue', 'dream', 'dream', 'thati', 'amless', 'le', 'convinced', 'actually', 'come', 'true', 'feel', 'likei', 'amtrapped', 'nowhere', 'run', 'go', 'feel', 'fucking', 'alone', 'likei', 'amsuffocating', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'except', 'end', 'feel', 'like', 'real', 'way']
71
['die', 'would', 'overdose', 'oxycodone']
4
['think', 'ive', 'come', 'term', 'life', 'always', 'miserablei', 'ama', 'worthless', 'loser', 'never', 'get', 'girlfriend', 'eats', 'alive', 'ive', 'heard', 'whole', 'gotta', 'happy', 'happy', 'somebody', 'else', 'spiel', 'many', 'time', 'ive', 'tried', 'lot', 'focus', 'doesnt', 'get', 'rid', 'pain', 'girlfriend', 'obvious', 'never', 'able', 'accept', 'matter', 'matter', 'sayi', 'going', 'believe', 'whole', 'learn', 'love', 'thing', 'truly', 'feel', 'like', 'destiny', 'life', 'wa', 'nothing', 'suffering', 'ive', 'suffered', 'year', 'cause', 'ive', 'molded', 'dont', 'try', 'girl', 'anymore', 'know', 'waste', 'time', 'life', 'going', 'shit', 'whats', 'point', 'keeping', 'going']
76
['want', 'help', 'ama', 'minor', 'cant', 'trust', 'parent', 'get', 'ive', 'made', 'multiple', 'post', 'ive', 'decided', 'want', 'seek', 'therapist', 'quick', 'recapi', 'year', 'old', 'hate', 'public', 'school', 'wa', 'homeschooled', 'think', 'mom', 'horrible', 'raising', 'child', 'autism', 'sure', 'bipolar', 'nearly', 'jumped', 'wall', 'last', 'week', 'problem', 'dont', 'really', 'someone', 'open', 'time', 'try', 'talk', 'parent', 'serious', 'matter', 'get', 'yelled', 'dare', 'suicidal', 'jesus', 'died', 'live', 'kill', 'would', 'downright', 'reject', 'gift', 'committing', 'suicide', 'selfish', 'thing', 'try', 'share', 'side', 'nuke', 'conversation', 'school', 'online', 'school', 'cant', 'seek', 'help', 'school', 'counselor', 'cant', 'call', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'dont', 'phonei', 'amlost', 'hopeless', 'alone']
88
['please', 'ive', 'tried', 'hard', 'still', 'isnt', 'working', 'know', 'enjoy', 'nothing', 'try', 'work', 'hate', 'anything', 'get', 'attachedi', 'get', 'jealous', 'understand', 'people', 'funhumour', 'form', 'self', 'defensei', 'want', 'attention', 'hate', 'payed', 'attention', 'toi', 'want', 'pity', 'want', 'pitiedi', 'want', 'feel', 'anything', 'sadnesseverything', 'see', 'film', 'bluei', 'get', 'angry', 'disgust', 'myselfi', 'always', 'feel', 'sickits', 'back', 'headalways', 'watching', 'weighing', 'downcorrupting', 'everything', 'see', 'hear', 'wantits', 'fairi', 'tried', 'hardits', 'faircan', 'get', 'one', 'thing', 'good', 'right', 'anythingpleaseid', 'give', 'anything', 'feel', 'normalmeds', 'didnt', 'worki', 'cant', 'kill', 'myselfwhat', 'would', 'people', 'lovethey', 'see', 'thing', 'exist', 'understand', 'understand', 'hurt', 'thing', 'want', 'world', 'kill', 'stop', 'living', 'boring', 'going', 'fun', 'nauseating', 'blurwhy', 'want', 'somebody', 'messed', 'everything', 'upthis', 'wa', 'supposed', 'fresh', 'start', 'wa', 'supposed', 'workmeds', 'supposed', 'work', 'getting', 'away', 'family', 'wa', 'supposed', 'worksomething', 'wa', 'supposed', 'change', 'get', 'tired', 'get', 'exhausted', 'supposed', 'work', 'towardsi', 'make', 'goal', 'fail', 'everything', 'try', 'mother', 'said', 'hated', 'dying', 'breath', 'carry', 'ash', 'happensits', 'fair', 'ugly', 'hate', 'working', 'expect', 'much', 'others', 'expect', 'much', 'always', 'fail', 'meet', 'expectation', 'cant', 'die', 'hit', 'drunk', 'driver', 'everybody', 'stand', 'around', 'say', 'sad', 'wa', 'much', 'potential', 'hadi', 'give', 'even', 'muster', 'effort', 'give', 'upi', 'loathe', 'everything', 'feel', 'everybody', 'seems', 'much', 'fun', 'lifeand', 'get', 'girlfriend', 'worked', 'got', 'good', 'grade', 'still', 'woke', 'every', 'day', 'wanting', 'die', 'getting', 'morning', 'take', 'day', 'energy', 'drinking', 'make', 'worse', 'half', 'time', 'half', 'fine', 'make', 'reality', 'much', 'darker', 'contrasti', 'want', 'sleep', 'time', 'dont', 'know', 'long', 'continue', 'break', 'think', 'soon']
219
['cant', 'handle', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'bad', 'nearly', 'crippling', 'actually', 'felt', 'good', 'last', 'night', 'long', 'thought', 'wa', 'making', 'progress', 'new', 'med', 'lost', 'little', 'weight', 'cut', 'back', 'drinking', 'went', 'bed', 'last', 'night', 'said', 'wa', 'going', 'good', 'day', 'woke', 'six', 'anxiety', 'back', 'full', 'force', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'going', 'vomiti', 'tired', 'living', 'like', 'wish', 'wa', 'single', 'kid', 'time', 'could', 'kill', 'feel', 'way', 'anymore', 'cant', 'though', 'becausei', 'amafraid', 'would', 'family']
65
['suicide', 'would', 'justified', 'way', 'ive', 'hurt', 'people', 'closest', 'year', 'old', 'wa', 'selfish', 'jealous', 'boyfriend', 'never', 'laid', 'finger', 'emotional', 'pain', 'manipulation', 'inflicted', 'upon', 'wa', 'clear', 'wa', 'troll', 'wa', 'person', 'felt', 'underappreciated', 'everyone', 'around', 'turned', 'feeling', 'act', 'provocation', 'boundless', 'sense', 'entitlement', 'flash', 'forward', 'five', 'year', 'later', 'graduated', 'college', 'still', 'together', 'moved', 'across', 'country', 'together', 'matured', 'ive', 'gained', 'insight', 'world', 'around', 'struggle', 'people', 'le', 'fortunate', 'would', 'like', 'think', 'become', 'empathetic', 'person', 'realized', 'center', 'universe', 'past', 'behind', 'u', 'tell', 'past', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'changed', 'better', 'person', 'think', 'early', 'conflict', 'relationship', 'wa', 'almost', 'good', 'thing', 'sparked', 'significant', 'change', 'personality', 'love', 'love', 'dont', 'know', 'would', 'didnt', 'life', 'none', 'change', 'fact', 'still', 'haunted', 'thing', 'ive', 'said', 'done', 'past', 'haunted', 'person', 'wa', 'early', 'day', 'relationship', 'unfathomably', 'selfish', 'wa', 'could', 'say', 'vile', 'thing', 'person', 'love', 'anything', 'world', 'say', 'need', 'stop', 'punishing', 'ive', 'said', 'done', 'past', 'matter', 'good', 'person', 'going', 'forward', 'think', 'deserve', 'pain', 'writing', 'punishment', 'finally', 'realized', 'iti', 'criminal', 'violent', 'person', 'still', 'unable', 'eat', 'fixation', 'past', 'doesnt', 'forgiveness', 'satisfy', 'still', 'feel', 'worthless', 'mean', 'thing', 'wa', 'barely', 'legal', 'adult', 'hasnt', 'slate', 'wiped', 'clean', 'yet', 'doi', 'know', 'leave', 'earth', 'would', 'justifiable', 'would', 'never', 'able', 'inflict', 'emotional', 'trauma', 'onto', 'another', 'sweet', 'caring', 'person', 'one', 'reason', 'havent', 'done', 'yet', 'know', 'ever', 'commit', 'suicide', 'would', 'give', 'type', 'emotional', 'trauma', 'haunt', 'almost', 'every', 'day', 'could', 'never', 'condone', 'type', 'action', 'person', 'love', 'guess', 'forced', 'life', 'plagued', 'guilt', 'always', 'live', 'memory', 'jerk', 'used', 'half', 'decade', 'ago', 'life', 'high', 'point', 'week', 'embarrassing', 'front', 'therapist', 'incoherent', 'rambling', 'like', 'kind', 'youre', 'reading', 'right', 'life', 'take', 'pill', 'every', 'morning', 'futile', 'hope', 'maybe', 'one', 'day', 'might', 'feel', 'way', 'anymore']
256
['wondering', 'life', 'worth', 'living', 'diagnosed', 'depression', 'think', 'depression', 'despite', 'thoughtsi', 'amhaving', 'however', 'think', 'thought', 'would', 'suitable', 'post', 'subreddit', 'since', 'type', 'thing', 'guy', 'talk', 'often', 'havent', 'hating', 'life', 'see', 'point', 'everyone', 'arounds', 'preaches', 'gift', 'life', 'dont', 'see', 'ha', 'value', 'death', 'extremely', 'desirable', 'worrying', 'working', 'feeling', 'bored', 'feeling', 'sad', 'nothing', 'suppose', 'could', 'consider', 'ultimate', 'laziness', 'see', 'shame', 'fantasize', 'death', 'committing', 'suicide', 'regular', 'basis', 'id', 'interested', 'hearing', 'people', 'opinion', 'life', 'ha', 'reason', 'continue', 'living', 'make', 'others', 'happier', 'doesnt', 'count', 'p', 'lot', 'might', 'recommend', 'see', 'therapist', 'ive', 'gone', 'rule', 'law', 'confidentiality', 'doesnt', 'apply', 'expressing', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'dont', 'want', 'family', 'contacted', 'want', 'hospitalised', 'phrase']
99
['yo', 'suicidal', 'girl', 'dont', 'want', 'spend', 'year', 'life', 'battling', 'cycle', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'dont', 'wanna', 'anymore']
15
['conclusion', 'silence', 'loud', 'louder', 'anything', 'ive', 'ever', 'heard', 'pierce', 'ear', 'impregnates', 'mind', 'tell', 'drown', 'loudest', 'angriest', 'music', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'emotion', 'anymore', 'search', 'disgusting', 'disturbing', 'prod', 'heart', 'want', 'beat', 'want', 'feel', 'warmth', 'blood', 'flowing', 'vein', 'work', 'short', 'period', 'amslowly', 'becoming', 'desensitized', 'shock', 'thought', 'inner', 'working', 'mind', 'representation', 'soul', 'malevolent', 'crave', 'violence', 'hatred', 'wish', 'wa', 'hated', 'maybe', 'feeling', 'would', 'justified', 'amloved', 'meet', 'hate', 'loved', 'deserve', 'nothing', 'one', 'daughter', 'esli', 'mother', 'love', 'find', 'someone', 'worthy', 'love', 'omit', 'past', 'never', 'deserved', 'either', 'ive', 'already', 'missed', 'life', 'work', 'point', 'wish', 'could', 'see', 'go', 'first', 'day', 'school', 'word', 'dont', 'justice', 'amount', 'love', 'brotherto', 'son', 'bronson', 'youre', 'old', 'enough', 'know', 'fortunate', 'youi', 'sorry', 'never', 'teach', 'life', 'sport', 'girl', 'deserve', 'much', 'better', 'father', 'could', 'ever', 'first', 'birthday', 'timei', 'amsupposed', 'come', 'home', 'deployment', 'got', 'month', 'every', 'second', 'wa', 'worth', 'holding', 'sister', 'seeing', 'smile', 'laugh', 'love', 'unfathomable', 'amountto', 'wife', 'kristen', 'took', 'youth', 'away', 'starting', 'family', 'seventeen', 'eighteen', 'making', 'believe', 'wa', 'normal', 'year', 'three', 'year', 'weve', 'married', 'time', 'life', 'felt', 'anything', 'remotely', 'close', 'happiness', 'sickness', 'ha', 'haunted', 'since', 'wa', 'child', 'desperately', 'wanted', 'normal', 'happy', 'person', 'disgusting', 'deserve', 'want', 'know', 'nothing', 'feel', 'fault', 'kid', 'fault', 'card', 'ive', 'delt', 'want', 'find', 'someone', 'make', 'happy', 'deserve', 'happy', 'someone', 'genuinly', 'happy', 'dance', 'kid', 'instead', 'gone', 'several', 'month', 'even', 'year', 'time', 'nothing', 'could', 'ever', 'could', 'make', 'deserve', 'guilt', 'feel', 'leaving', 'three', 'year', 'old', 'six', 'month', 'old', 'may', 'enough', 'kill', 'whatever', 'love', 'ive', 'ever', 'felt', 'ha', 'three']
232
['ive', 'given', 'two', 'night', 'ago', 'went', 'home', 'midnigh', 'took', 'pair', 'scissors', 'cut', 'hair', 'kid', 'never', 'try', 'look', 'awful', 'went', 'barber', 'next', 'morning', 'cause', 'sucked', 'cutting', 'hair', 'wa', 'stupid', 'friend', 'happy', 'felt', 'lost', 'suddenly', 'felt', 'lack', 'control', 'life', 'suddenly', 'bad', 'memory', 'came', 'back', 'like', 'tidal', 'wave', 'crashing', 'whole', 'world', 'felt', 'loud', 'thats', 'took', 'scissors', 'cut', 'away', 'three', 'month', 'ago', 'already', 'decided', 'cut', 'friend', 'ever', 'cause', 'people', 'around', 'heartache', 'sadness', 'wory', 'keep', 'messing', 'want', 'cut', 'cut', 'world', 'could', 'send', 'bin', 'wa', 'meant', 'ini', 'amjust', 'going', 'try', 'one', 'time', 'end', 'year', 'end', 'ive', 'got', 'eye', 'set', 'exit', 'finally', 'end', 'unending', 'cycle']
98
['dont', 'want', 'die', 'think', 'need', 'ive', 'fucked', 'much', 'screwed', 'study', 'dont', 'think', 'ever', 'graduate', 'college', 'keep', 'failing', 'class', 'hate', 'major', 'feel', 'like', 'hardest', 'major', 'school', 'shouldve', 'switched', 'could', 'know', 'parent', 'love', 'theyve', 'pretty', 'much', 'given', 'thinki', 'ama', 'compulsive', 'liar', 'might', 'know', 'still', 'dont', 'know', 'thati', 'graduating', 'may', 'also', 'lot', 'friend', 'care', 'know', 'killing', 'make', 'miserable', 'potentially', 'screw', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'want', 'get', 'job', 'get', 'married', 'kid', 'die', 'happily', 'old', 'want', 'able', 'get', 'well', 'paying', 'job', 'without', 'degree', 'dont', 'think', 'thats', 'possible', 'want', 'run', 'away', 'figure', 'way', 'life', 'cant', 'live', 'disappointing', 'loved', 'one', 'need', 'die', 'often', 'find', 'wishing', 'would', 'die', 'car', 'accident', 'develop', 'disease', 'like', 'cancer', 'thats', 'going', 'happeni', 'havent', 'picked', 'yet', 'want', 'able', 'tie', 'loose', 'end', 'make', 'easy', 'possible', 'know', 'nothing', 'make', 'easier']
123
['home', 'alone', 'contemplating', 'killing', 'think', 'killing', 'dying', 'accident', 'getting', 'terminal', 'willness', 'every', 'day', 'take', 'stair', 'wheni', 'amat', 'schooli', 'class', 'th', 'floor', 'want', 'go', 'way', 'top', 'jump', 'feel', 'hopeless', 'misunderstood', 'family', 'boyfriendi', 'amdisgusted', 'way', 'look', 'point', 'feeling', 'sick', 'whenever', 'look', 'mirror', 'dont', 'take', 'picture', 'like', 'average', 'person', 'nowadays', 'wish', 'wa', 'brave', 'enough', 'get', 'withi', 'ami', 'dont', 'job', 'place', 'car', 'dont', 'know', 'drivei', 'ama', 'piece', 'shit']
64
['cant', 'trust', 'family', 'one', 'talk', 'problem', 'wa', 'raised', 'mostly', 'grandparentsall', 'childhood', 'linked', 'themmy', 'father', 'wa', 'always', 'kinda', 'harsh', 'meand', 'many', 'problemsi', 'tried', 'help', 'father', 'whenever', 'chanceany', 'type', 'helpsometimes', 'helped', 'win', 'favori', 'tried', 'perfect', 'soni', 'salute', 'neighborsim', 'always', 'polite', 'alli', 'learned', 'gpbut', 'stilli', 'cant', 'make', 'father', 'help', 'daily', 'stuffor', 'listen', 'secondshe', 'cant', 'give', 'kind', 'attentionhe', 'usually', 'prefers', 'play', 'game', 'phone', 'owed', 'gps', 'money', 'didnt', 'gave', 'back', 'since', 'nightwhen', 'spoke', 'grandma', 'problem', 'himmy', 'gm', 'alsohad', 'problem', 'himi', 'think', 'ok', 'thoughshe', 'little', 'bit', 'unstable', 'bc', 'told', 'hershe', 'got', 'upset', 'felt', 'called', 'fatheri', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'conversationbut', 'somehow', 'father', 'payed', 'debt', 'madly', 'upset', 'merepeating', 'word', 'past', 'clashesmostly', 'insultsno', 'need', 'bad', 'wordshe', 'always', 'made', 'feel', 'like', 'wa', 'nothinglike', 'wa', 'biggest', 'shame', 'praised', 'wantedohand', 'always', 'made', 'joke', 'front', 'friend', 'know', 'cant', 'trust', 'gps', 'bc', 'always', 'told', 'father', 'complaint', 'oni', 'cant', 'speak', 'gpsbc', 'likely', 'speak', 'fathermy', 'father', 'main', 'problemthe', 'thing', 'isthat', 'father', 'always', 'mistreated', 'always', 'tried', 'love', 'himbut', 'cant', 'continue', 'thisi', 'dont', 'friend', 'supporti', 'feel', 'likei', 'amall', 'aloneand', 'everything', 'go', 'bad', 'buries', 'alivei', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'bc', 'nothing', 'leftno', 'family', 'friendsonly', 'asshole', 'father', 'disappointedlied', 'even', 'tricked', 'every', 'wayon', 'daily', 'basis', 'year', 'ruin', 'lifemy', 'friend', 'enemy']
190
['every', 'passing', 'day', 'feel', 'like', 'retirement', 'plan', 'soni', 'amdone', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'want', 'existi', 'tired', 'manipulated', 'emotionally', 'abused', 'respectedi', 'amheld', 'back', 'leaving', 'say', 'leave', 'family', 'cant', 'anymore', 'everyday', 'think', 'thought', 'get', 'harder', 'harder', 'avoid', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore']
37
['sure', 'mind', 'place', 'sorry', 'thread', 'placei', 'amjust', 'really', 'sure', 'really', 'hate', 'life', 'suffer', 'severe', 'depression', 'social', 'anxiety', 'put', 'fake', 'smile', 'everyday', 'family', 'recently', 'everyday', 'thought', 'suicide', 'never', 'able', 'actually', 'bring', 'guess', 'feel', 'bit', 'guilty', 'parent', 'diagnosed', 'cancer', 'dont', 'feel', 'right', 'end', 'life', 'dad', 'bowel', 'cancer', 'mid', 'ha', 'surgery', 'well', 'found', 'jan', 'mum', 'leukemia', 'currently', 'still', 'going', 'treatment', 'goodthis', 'however', 'depression', 'began', 'wa', 'sexually', 'abused', 'child', 'another', 'country', 'family', 'used', 'go', 'every', 'year', 'cousin', 'multiple', 'occasion', 'ended', 'hating', 'going', 'country', 'day', 'told', 'parent', 'wa', 'bullied', 'everyday', 'school', 'year', 'dreaded', 'going', 'lunch', 'breakssometimes', 'used', 'go', 'library', 'pretend', 'read', 'book', 'could', 'stay', 'somewhere', 'wouldnt', 'punched', 'kicked', 'finishing', 'uni', 'started', 'job', 'liked', 'beginning', 'year', 'later', 'job', 'turned', 'crap', 'vowed', 'leave', 'better', 'job', 'wa', 'time', 'found', 'mum', 'cancer', 'quit', 'job', 'care', 'dad', 'happy', 'theyd', 'rather', 'worked', 'sit', 'home', 'wa', 'may', 'decided', 'look', 'another', 'job', 'august', 'found', 'another', 'job', 'absolutely', 'hate', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'quit', 'ive', 'started', 'want', 'give', 'chance', 'doctor', 'depression', 'gave', 'different', 'anti', 'depressant', 'try', 'worked', 'early', 'decided', 'stop', 'taking', 'didnt', 'want', 'rely', 'medication', 'whole', 'life', 'referred', 'psychology', 'team', 'arrange', 'appointment', 'couldnt', 'bring', 'feel', 'embarrassed', 'ashamed', 'talk', 'past', 'lifei', 'dont', 'really', 'best', 'friend', 'talk', 'deeply', 'either', 'know', 'say', 'thinki', 'amlying', 'depressed', 'say', 'talk', 'someone', 'ive', 'rambled', 'dont', 'know', 'really', 'really', 'like', 'life', 'thought', 'way', 'kill', 'cannot', 'iti', 'amscared']
214
['dont', 'feel', 'like', 'living', 'really', 'thing', 'kinda', 'grey', 'unexciting', 'sometimes', 'imagine', 'good', 'life', 'like', 'imagine', 'life', 'celebrity', 'distant', 'mine', 'somehow', 'used', 'bother', 'couldnt', 'access', 'nothing', 'excites', 'anymore', 'feel', 'likei', 'amdragging', 'like', 'played', 'game', 'scroll', 'back', 'forth', 'creditslist', 'know', 'lot', 'havent', 'seen', 'experienced', 'feel', 'like', 'didnt', 'use', 'like', 'wa', 'time', 'wa', 'genuinely', 'excited', 'exciting', 'wa', 'awe', 'wa', 'front', 'wa', 'willing', 'struggle', 'even', 'though', 'world', 'looked', 'grey', 'friend', 'told', 'talking', 'wa', 'like', 'dreaming', 'much', 'loved', 'etc', 'cant', 'bear', 'see', 'bore', 'death', 'dont', 'anything', 'say', 'nothing', 'want', 'share', 'nothing', 'want', 'hear', 'got', 'really', 'good', 'listening', 'thats', 'nothing', 'nothing', 'le', 'dont', 'even', 'talk', 'dont', 'hope', 'dream', 'left', 'sure', 'goal', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'still', 'feel', 'wrong', 'met', 'stepgrandfather', 'lying', 'fragily', 'bed', 'mustering', 'whatever', 'still', 'inside', 'parkinson', 'hadnt', 'destroyed', 'yet', 'talk', 'didnt', 'even', 'child', 'anyone', 'else', 'came', 'see', 'felt', 'like', 'passed', 'torch', 'like', 'knew', 'wa', 'capable', 'believed', 'way', 'make', 'fundamental', 'character', 'story', 'told', 'id', 'end', 'immediately', 'wasnt', 'feeling', 'thati', 'ammissing', 'something', 'didnt', 'connect', 'dot', 'something', 'would', 'purpose', 'echo', 'every', 'softly', 'deep', 'inside', 'somewhere', 'even', 'though', 'dont', 'feel', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'feel', 'really']
176
['okayi', 'amdone', 'trying']
3
['life', 'insurance', 'doe', 'anyone', 'know', 'take', 'life', 'insurance', 'policy', 'leave', 'proceeds', 'family', 'member', 'go']
14
['bad', 'people', 'exist', 'really', 'convinced', 'stayim', 'pushing', 'people', 'awayslowly', 'deliberatelyi', 'enjoy', 'jerkim', 'even', 'sorryim', 'pissed', 'people', 'tell', 'mei', 'bad', 'person', 'thats', 'rep', 'working', 'forwhen', 'tell', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'iti', 'meanim', 'killing', 'valid', 'reason', 'die', 'life', 'addicted', 'brainwashed', 'fucksim', 'pissed', 'tell', 'change', 'better', 'dont', 'want', 'togood', 'peoplenice', 'people', 'get', 'nerve', 'muchim', 'pissed', 'people', 'try', 'stay', 'right', 'last', 'friend', 'speaking', 'isnt', 'responding', 'godi', 'amhoping', 'realized', 'douchebag', 'leftthey', 'call', 'toxicabusive', 'guess', 'like', 'ive', 'awardedan', 'exfriend', 'recently', 'posted', 'journal', 'everyone', 'comment', 'telling', 'theyre', 'glad', 'theyre', 'done', 'made', 'feel', 'satisfiedive', 'broken', 'law', 'god', 'enjoy', 'itit', 'wa', 'best', 'feeling', 'lifeuncontrollable', 'glee', 'knowing', 'someone', 'pissed', 'thisi', 'enjoy', 'destroying', 'myselfbe', 'alchoholdrugsself', 'harmthe', 'satisfaction', 'knowing', 'destroyed', 'another', 'part', 'life', 'body', 'greatstop', 'fucking', 'justifying', 'bad', 'peopleyou', 'idiotsbad', 'people', 'exist', 'know', 'arewere', 'lost', 'soul', 'need', 'help', 'become', 'pathetic', 'little', 'goody', 'two', 'shoe', 'shit']
131
['hate', 'life', 'feel', 'sad', 'feel', 'nothing', 'feel', 'like', 'empty', 'shell', 'person', 'wish', 'could', 'feel', 'something', 'wish', 'could', 'even', 'feel', 'sad', 'feel', 'nothing', 'reason', 'ever', 'really', 'talk', 'boyfriend', 'feel', 'sad', 'least', 'make', 'feel', 'something', 'feel', 'like', 'doesnt', 'love', 'anymore', 'doesnt', 'want', 'would', 'ever', 'want', 'still', 'love', 'feeling', 'doesnt', 'love', 'back', 'make', 'feel', 'pain', 'least', 'something', 'want', 'hold', 'admire', 'something', 'show', 'matter', 'dont', 'get', 'emptiness', 'sometimes', 'around', 'mom', 'help', 'dont', 'say', 'anything', 'feel', 'know', 'need', 'must', 'sixth', 'sense', 'shell', 'cook', 'warm', 'meal', 'take', 'shopping', 'whatever', 'see', 'feel', 'even', 'bit', 'full', 'dont', 'trust', 'anyone', 'even', 'boyfriend', 'feel', 'like', 'judged', 'brushed', 'whenever', 'try', 'say', 'something', 'feel', 'like', 'throat', 'closing', 'like', 'body', 'physically', 'stopping', 'reaching', 'one', 'want', 'talk', 'either', 'even', 'knowi', 'amhiding', 'something', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'care', 'enough', 'ask', 'feel', 'nothing', 'judgement', 'feel', 'like', 'people', 'always', 'trying', 'defend', 'want', 'wonderfully', 'warm', 'hug', 'someone', 'hold', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'else', 'matter', 'long', 'meaningful', 'hug', 'something', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'bird', 'chirping', 'rain', 'falling', 'slower', 'even', 'sign', 'thati', 'still', 'living', 'alive', 'dead', 'inside', 'wish', 'dead', 'around', 'hate', 'life', 'hate']
171
['id', 'rather', 'die', 'america', 'sent', 'back', 'home', 'growing', 'always', 'felt', 'like', 'american', 'see', 'country', 'home', 'legally', 'ive', 'never', 'american', 'know', 'eye', 'manyi', 'nothing', 'criminali', 'amaware', 'future', 'either', 'way', 'would', 'much', 'rather', 'die', 'real', 'home', 'u']
35
['need', 'someone', 'talk', 'feel', 'like', 'everyone', 'meet', 'give', 'cold', 'shoulder', 'friend', 'seem', 'move', 'without', 'contact', 'list', 'full', 'nobody', 'want', 'friendi', 'even', 'back', 'plan', 'everyone', 'else', 'always', 'ha', 'plan', 'family', 'relationship', 'try', 'new', 'hobby', 'try', 'met', 'nee', 'people', 'everyone', 'seems', 'care', 'much', 'care', 'story', 'sad', 'know', 'need', 'help']
47
['made', 'many', 'bad', 'choice', 'recover', 'bad', 'choice', 'made', 'life', 'obviously', 'bad', 'choice', 'prioritize', 'school', 'social', 'life', 'major', 'stem', 'field', 'dont', 'work', 'parttime', 'job', 'dont', 'need', 'money', 'joining', 'frat', 'social', 'butterfly', 'changing', 'major', 'etc', 'ha', 'added', 'living', 'parent', 'basement', 'friend', 'living', 'fun', 'life', 'awesome', 'apartment', 'great', 'job', 'cute', 'girlfriend', 'even', 'making', 'right', 'choice', 'like', 'getting', 'summer', 'internship', 'actively', 'involved', 'engineering', 'design', 'team', 'participating', 'class', 'hasnt', 'mitigated', 'dozen', 'reference', 'would', 'speak', 'world', 'work', 'ethic', 'intelligence', 'enthusiasm', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'employer', 'dont', 'bother', 'check', 'made', 'decision', 'airbnb', 'house', 'ton', 'girl', 'fun', 'probably', 'around', 'age', 'working', 'kyear', 'easy', 'prevent', 'planning', 'job', 'either', 'knew', 'sell', 'knew', 'someone', 'within', 'small', 'network', 'doesnt', 'afford', 'lead', 'stuck', 'online', 'application', 'yield', 'dozen', 'interview', 'mostly', 'company', 'decide', 'pas', 'perfect', 'candidate', 'year', 'experience', 'even', 'get', 'job', 'even', 'pay', 'kyear', 'still', 'hard', 'develop', 'ton', 'good', 'friendship', 'like', 'people', 'college', 'high', 'school', 'even', 'harder', 'find', 'quality', 'girl', 'since', 'relationship', 'formed', 'mutual', 'friend', 'one', 'point', 'knife', 'chest', 'wa', 'afraid', 'go', 'hand', 'quick', 'painful', 'death', 'would', 'better', 'slow', 'prolonged', 'torture']
164
['ive', 'decided', 'ive', 'given', 'thank', 'reddit', 'happiness', 'though', 'time', 'thank', 'see', 'ya', 'later']
13
['ive', 'pushed', 'everyone', 'away', 'fault', 'honestly', 'dont', 'know', 'got', 'point', 'surface', 'thing', 'seem', 'going', 'well', 'got', 'good', 'mark', 'last', 'semester', 'joined', 'good', 'number', 'club', 'volunteered', 'thing', 'enjoyed', 'except', 'school', 'started', 'friend', 'class', 'current', 'friend', 'theyre', 'busy', 'coursework', 'strike', 'conversation', 'could', 'said', 'except', 'feel', 'like', 'nobody', 'give', 'shit', 'say', 'anymore', 'since', 'ive', 'burdened', 'venting', 'beforehand', 'honestly', 'started', 'enough', 'fight', 'friend', 'online', 'started', 'stop', 'talking', 'granted', 'apologized', 'excessively', 'wont', 'even', 'acknowledge', 'hallway', 'anymore', 'honestly', 'think', 'fault', 'depressive', 'mood', 'swing', 'honestly', 'done', 'enough', 'damage', 'friendshipsim', 'fed', 'life', 'knowi', 'amjust', 'going', 'end', 'studying', 'hard', 'accepting', 'circumstance', 'thati', 'know', 'even', 'continue', 'get', 'good', 'marksi', 'amjust', 'going', 'miserable', 'moving', 'oni', 'amhonestly', 'sad', 'since', 'playing', 'game', 'night', 'hard', 'worki', 'amjust', 'alone', 'fuck', 'junior', 'year', 'far', 'even', 'though', 'started', 'fuck', 'man', 'rant', 'ha', 'long', 'incoherent', 'quite', 'franklyi', 'sorry', 'wasting', 'time', 'youre', 'still', 'reading']
135
['ciao', 'wanna', 'know', 'suck', 'typing', 'one', 'hand', 'even', 'typing', 'nondominant', 'hand', 'even', 'even', 'typing', 'one', 'nondominant', 'hand', 'got', 'dominant', 'hand', 'cut', 'mid', 'forearmi', 'bought', 'beretta', 'f', 'whatever', 'friend', 'got', 'one', 'hollow', 'point', 'pink', 'polymer', 'middle', 'sell', 'law', 'enforcement', 'except', 'state', 'like', 'one', 'hurricane', 'irma', 'hit', 'love', 'weatheri', 'amouter', 'ricky', 'martin', 'damn', 'bodyever', 'wheelchair', 'take', 'away', 'agency', 'dignity', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'idk', 'whyi', 'amsaying', 'maybe', 'alcohol', 'painkiller', 'maybe', 'sense', 'duty', 'let', 'know', 'theyre', 'justified', 'choice', 'theyre', 'dire', 'strait', 'like', 'maybe', 'maybelline', 'fuck', 'knowsim', 'already', 'know', 'taken', 'care', 'death', 'estate', 'go', 'friend', 'since', 'family', 'disowned', 'body', 'cremated', 'spread', 'ash', 'around', 'frisco', 'stonewall', 'inn', 'ny', 'mount', 'rushmore', 'grand', 'canyon', 'left', 'enough', 'money', 'dy', 'old', 'ageim', 'done', 'love', 'dont', 'fret', 'want', 'know', 'life', 'every', 'circumstance', 'afterlife', 'see', 'love']
123
['everyone', 'hurting', 'life', 'wa', 'pretty', 'fucked', 'already', 'fell', 'love', 'best', 'friend', 'forced', 'lose', 'feeling', 'replaced', 'doesnt', 'trust', 'started', 'keeping', 'thing', 'cant', 'anymore', 'especially', 'care', 'got']
25
['might', 'delete', 'later', 'wanted', 'say', 'something', 'week', 'ago', 'month', 'time', 'going', 'fucking', 'fast', 'lately', 'scary', 'said', 'reason', 'keep', 'living', 'wa', 'sex', 'immediate', 'satisfaction', 'get', 'nothing', 'else', 'real', 'really', 'worth', 'sex', 'doesnt', 'fill', 'time', 'go', 'nothing', 'left', 'think', 'time', 'would', 'come', 'fast', 'thought', 'might', 'year', 'year', 'trying', 'get', 'normal', 'life', 'untili', 'amtotally', 'drained', 'sexual', 'desire', 'time', 'would', 'kid', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'kid', 'took', 'week', 'whatever', 'still', 'trying', 'get', 'back', 'better', 'time', 'always', 'something', 'missing', 'obvious', 'whats', 'old', 'doesnt', 'work', 'anymore', 'cant', 'think', 'anything', 'new', 'might', 'reached', 'epitome', 'creativity', 'awesome', 'amlost', 'couldnt', 'lost', 'scary', 'see', 'everyone', 'finding', 'place', 'world', 'passion', 'belong', 'nothing', 'thati', 'amjust', 'walking', 'alone', 'people', 'support', 'make', 'feel', 'bad', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'able', 'stand', 'look', 'two', 'people', 'still', 'take', 'three', 'bus', 'pretend', 'dont', 'hate', 'life', 'want', 'hug', 'tell', 'everything', 'want', 'something', 'live', 'theyre', 'good', 'smile', 'sincere', 'heart', 'warming', 'belong', 'somewhere', 'dont', 'cry', 'writing', 'suicidal', 'thing', 'reddit', 'hope', 'dont', 'really', 'mean', 'decide', 'really', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'else', 'live', 'pressure', 'high', 'hardly', 'breathe', 'death', 'would', 'relief', 'want', 'know', 'much', 'theyre', 'appreciated', 'thought', 'last', 'time', 'couple', 'artist', 'listen', 'everyday', 'love', 'thanks', 'coming', 'life', 'dont', 'care', 'fight', 'make', 'day', 'better', 'give', 'reason', 'one', 'thing', 'enjoy', 'singing']
192
['goodbye', 'cruel', 'world', 'life', 'suffering', 'fake', 'pleasurei', 'today', 'amhappy', 'cant', 'waitwhy', 'would', 'seek', 'help', 'tell', 'need', 'work', 'livei', 'dont', 'want', 'work', 'ever', 'againif', 'work', 'live', 'best', 'die']
27
['get', 'day', 'college', 'student', 'feel', 'horrible', 'time', 'often', 'think', 'suicide', 'already', 'got', 'far', 'behind', 'study', 'schedule', 'supposed', 'last', 'year', 'dont', 'know', 'going', 'make', 'day', 'cant', 'come', 'bed', 'cant', 'hang', 'around', 'room', 'drag', 'school', 'cant', 'get', 'work', 'done', 'try', 'get', 'school', 'working', 'day', 'slightly', 'energy', 'bad', 'day', 'keep', 'ruining', 'dont', 'see', 'much', 'point', 'life', 'anymore', 'sometimes', 'get', 'upset', 'destroy', 'book', 'cut', 'furniture', 'always', 'regret', 'afterwards', 'waiting', 'list', 'psychologist', 'wait', 'take', 'forever', 'let', 'alone', 'helped', 'wish', 'feel', 'wouldnt', 'obstruct', 'life', 'dont', 'know']
80
['thinking', 'suicide', 'alot', 'hello', 'ive', 'never', 'posted', 'reddit', 'rarely', 'ever', 'peruse', 'sitei', 'particularly', 'ugly', 'attractive', 'several', 'girlfreiends', 'hangout', 'alot', 'friend', 'family', 'life', 'great', 'problemsi', 'amfacing', 'seem', 'lesser', 'others', 'post', 'herei', 'sorry', 'waste', 'time', 'nobody', 'real', 'open', 'several', 'time', 'past', 'week', 'ive', 'ready', 'end', 'really', 'articulate', 'reason', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'wanna', 'live', 'anymore', 'understand', 'hard', 'help', 'someone', 'without', 'problem', 'thats', 'problem', 'feel', 'way', 'even', 'life', 'going', 'great', 'imagine', 'feel', 'like', 'tide', 'shift']
71
['give', 'upi', 'amdone', 'pushed', 'away', 'two', 'people', 'life', 'trying', 'help', 'mei', 'amsick', 'asshole', 'alone', 'miserablei', 'going', 'go', 'sleep', 'wake', 'sorry', 'everyone', 'failure', 'life', 'better', 'editi', 'amsuch', 'failure', 'exhaust', 'plugged', 'window', 'couldnt', 'start', 'another', 'fuck', 'long', 'string', 'fuckup']
37
['want', 'leave', 'want', 'leave', 'everything', 'school', 'depression', 'sit', 'around', 'day', 'thinking', 'thing', 'want', 'really', 'suck', 'day', 'ago', 'went', 'state', 'couple', 'day', 'felt', 'alive', 'back', 'home', 'feel', 'like', 'total', 'shit', 'jack', 'shit', 'school', 'fucking', 'future', 'eating', 'alive', 'take', 'anymore', 'useless', 'pathetic', 'everyday', 'think', 'suicide', 'want', 'die', 'really', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore']
49
['po', 'feel', 'likei', 'amthe', 'biggest', 'piece', 'shit', 'right', 'cant', 'get', 'withi', 'amsitting', 'knife', 'ranging', 'kitchen', 'pocket', 'ive', 'managed', 'small', 'cut', 'leg', 'know', 'stepdad', 'ha', 'gun', 'k', 'ow', 'keep', 'dont', 'want', 'mom', 'find', 'brain', 'blown', 'back', 'head', 'actually', 'dont', 'want', 'find', 'allit', 'seems', 'everything', 'end', 'asshole', 'try', 'help', 'somethingi', 'amthe', 'assholei', 'ask', 'someone', 'questioni', 'amthe', 'assholesimple', 'thing', 'like', 'accidentally', 'forgetting', 'replace', 'trash', 'bag', 'becomes', 'giant', 'fight', 'guessed', 'amthe', 'assholeim', 'tired', 'lonely', 'tired', 'feeling', 'like', 'shiti', 'amdone']
75
['planning', 'moved', 'amstruggling', 'make', 'connectionsi', 'amrelying', 'much', 'boyfriend', 'job', 'friend', 'depression', 'ha', 'come', 'back', 'worse', 'ever', 'beforei', 'amplanning', 'suicide', 'give', 'week']
21
['ama', 'bit', 'lost', 'supposed', 'say', 'feel', 'way', 'dont', 'know', 'start']
10
['depression', 'crippling', 'mei', 'female', 'year', 'dog', 'died', 'february', 'wa', 'family', 'loved', 'uni', 'student', 'long', 'distance', 'uni', 'friend', 'family', 'longer', 'contact', 'abusive', 'dont', 'think', 'getting', 'better', 'ptsd', 'since', 'early', 'childhood', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'full', 'force', 'every', 'day', 'struggle', 'feel', 'numb', 'world', 'original', 'plan', 'wa', 'kill', 'th', 'would', 'mark', 'th', 'month', 'without', 'dogi', 'coping', 'well', 'fact', 'dont', 'anything', 'worth', 'living', 'tried', 'look', 'work', 'home', 'job', 'try', 'work', 'towards', 'getting', 'money', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'feel', 'like', 'everything', 'society', 'unsustainable', 'job', 'market', 'one', 'also', 'happening', 'europe', 'frightens', 'try', 'think', 'positively', 'seeing', 'stronger', 'maybe', 'child', 'dog', 'feel', 'full', 'fear', 'stress', 'future', 'rate', 'psychosomatic', 'willness', 'dont', 'want', 'seen', 'wayi', 'suffered', 'abuse', 'family', 'traumatic', 'event', 'feel', 'tainted', 'like', 'cant', 'come', 'back', 'reality', 'dont', 'know', 'anything', 'thought', 'convince', 'otherwise', 'dont', 'know', 'right', 'place', 'need', 'someone', 'hear', 'feel', 'awful', 'day', 'hope', 'feel', 'alone', 'wish', 'wa', 'nothing', 'would', 'suffer', 'like', 'every', 'single', 'daysorry', 'dont', 'make', 'sense', 'wrong', 'place']
147
['cant', 'cope', 'feel', 'fucked', 'want', 'end', 'got', 'nothing', 'nobody', 'life']
10
['growing', 'pain', 'really', 'close', 'losing']
5
['wish', 'couldi', 'amalone', 'meaning', 'try', 'good', 'even', 'ok', 'fail', 'reason', 'dont', 'kill', 'right', 'becausei', 'sure', 'would', 'succeed', 'hopefully', 'able', 'next', 'couple', 'day', 'doe', 'anyone', 'know', 'much', 'xanax', 'rum', 'would', 'take', 'kill', 'pound', 'man', 'thats', 'bad', 'way', 'die', 'honest', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'experience', 'pain', 'leave', 'anything', 'disgusting', 'family', 'insight', 'wa', 'given', 'id', 'really', 'appreciate']
53
['live', 'last', 'day', 'fear', 'leave', 'world', 'option', 'cant', 'bear', 'anymore', 'sadness', 'pain', 'emptiness', 'much', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'finish', 'last', 'period', 'college', 'finish', 'anime', 'videogames', 'say', 'goodbye', 'world', 'love', 'life', 'much', 'painfully', 'alone', 'time', 'know', 'fault', 'well', 'dont', 'strength', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'see', 'anymore', 'people', 'happy', 'outcast', 'nothing', 'dont', 'know', 'die', 'peace', 'sorry', 'bad', 'english']
55
['ha', 'anyone', 'ever', 'experience', 'group', 'home', 'best', 'friend', 'hospital', 'another', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'theyre', 'medicating', 'poorly', 'want', 'send', 'group', 'home', 'shes', 'getting', 'better', 'shes', 'week', 'whateveri', 'amscared', 'scared', 'shell', 'worse', 'scared', 'shell', 'get', 'depressed', 'scared', 'shell', 'stuck', 'forever']
37
['last', 'chance', 'last', 'chance', 'give', 'life', 'week', 'friend', 'visit', 'afraid', 'wont', 'able', 'like', 'anymore', 'saw', 'person', 'cant', 'live', 'without', 'friend', 'need', 'know', 'someone', 'care']
24
['suicidalty', 'genuinely', 'positive', 'part', 'life', 'depressed', 'currently', 'healthy', 'physically', 'mentally', 'yet', 'constant', 'thought', 'self', 'harm', 'suicide', 'strong', 'entirety', 'waking', 'life', 'super', 'happy', 'themive', 'made', 'post', 'wa', 'confused', 'irritated', 'past', 'time', 'rest', 'recuperate', 'feel', 'completely', 'sold', 'thought', 'end', 'life', 'feel', 'like', 'body', 'logically', 'destroyed', 'pretty', 'much', 'objectively', 'right', 'idea', 'whether', 'hand', 'situation', 'someone', 'else', 'kill', 'someone', 'pulled', 'gun', 'shot', 'right', 'would', 'feel', 'pretty', 'content', 'painful', 'end', 'life', 'save', 'effort', 'myselflife', 'really', 'fun', 'enjoy', 'company', 'friend', 'well', 'work', 'satisfying', 'none', 'need', 'carry', 'living', 'see', 'feel', 'satisfied', 'myselfi', 'guess', 'reasoni', 'amstaying', 'around', 'currently', 'right', 'faff', 'die', 'right', 'got', 'couple', 'boring', 'thing', 'get', 'organised', 'free', 'whateveri', 'know', 'feel', 'weird', 'posting', 'reasonably', 'inspiring', 'story', 'guess', 'want', 'vocalise', 'around', 'people', 'wouldnt', 'immediately', 'weirded', 'mindlessly', 'telling', 'call', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'also', 'feel', 'nice', 'let', 'community', 'allowed', 'comfortable', 'happy', 'suicidalty', 'know', 'got', 'endthanks', 'help']
135
['life', 'never', 'satisfy', 'ive', 'suffered', 'much', 'goodbye']
7
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33
['please', 'darkness', 'start', 'seep', 'wall', 'break', 'wall', 'kept', 'sane', 'past', 'year', 'truth', 'isi', 'damn', 'tiredi', 'amdrowning', 'insecurity', 'anger', 'envy', 'sadness', 'made', 'happy', 'doe', 'justice', 'anymore', 'goal', 'seem', 'unreachable', 'nowi', 'want', 'live', 'thought', 'waver', 'everydayi', 'amfinding', 'harder', 'see', 'reason', 'keep', 'living', 'feel', 'thati', 'amjust', 'nuisance', 'everyone']
45
['focused', 'career', 'failed', 'well', 'yup', 'nothing', 'left', 'ash', 'dust', 'give', 'pityi', 'amaddicted']
12
['cant', 'cope', 'literally', 'wake', 'put', 'happy', 'face', 'friend', 'wheni', 'ambuy', 'cant', 'fucking', 'cope', 'cant', 'carry', 'feeling', 'bad', 'every', 'waking', 'moment', 'breaking', 'time', 'knowing', 'get', 'single', 'bit', 'joy', 'life', 'abused', 'father', 'year', 'losing', 'rock', 'life', 'mom', 'wtf', 'going', 'myselfi', 'amfucking', 'dying', 'inside', 'everyone', 'ha', 'good', 'barely', 'function', 'human', 'fucking', 'point', 'anymore', 'maybei', 'amjust', 'pathetic', 'baby', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore']
57
['whenever', 'feel', 'like', 'everything', 'seems', 'going', 'well', 'something', 'stupid', 'happens', 'brings', 'back', 'reality', 'everything', 'seemed', 'get', 'apart', 'started', 'working', 'cured', 'acne', 'getting', 'good', 'grade', 'feeling', 'bit', 'happy', 'past', 'month', 'spending', 'time', 'friend', 'realized', 'much', 'one', 'care', 'even', 'sister', 'thought', 'wa', 'person', 'really', 'loved', 'turn', 'doesnt', 'give', 'shit', 'either', 'personally', 'dont', 'care', 'live', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'anyone', 'kill', 'reason', 'still', 'feel', 'like', 'would', 'hurt', 'people', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'thats', 'really', 'thing', 'keep', 'away']
72
['want', 'disappear', 'havent', 'felt', 'like', 'month', 'forgot', 'could', 'even', 'feel', 'like', 'nowi', 'bed', 'cry', 'eye', 'unsure', 'right', 'person', 'keeping', 'grounded', 'dad', 'ever', 'lose', 'dont', 'know', 'happen', 'mei', 'depressed', 'right', 'dont', 'want', 'want', 'go', 'sleep', 'please', 'help']
36
['ive', 'stopped', 'ending', 'tonight', 'rope', 'still', 'sits', 'around', 'neck', 'note', 'written', 'outi', 'amjust', 'feeling', 'like', 'shit', 'thats', 'say', 'ive', 'got', 'load', 'thing', 'mention', 'write', 'thing', 'thats', 'wrong', 'life', 'feel', 'sorry', 'bit', 'honesty', 'feel', 'crap', 'ive', 'felt', 'like', 'crap', 'year', 'finally', 'want', 'give', 'upi', 'tired', 'tired', 'timei', 'amsick', 'angry', 'depressed', 'life', 'want', 'end', 'yet', 'stopped', 'overwhelming', 'feeling', 'guilt', 'id', 'people', 'left', 'behind', 'getting', 'point', 'want', 'selfish', 'want', 'think', 'finally', 'peace']
69
['feel', 'slipping', 'away', 'tried', 'killing', 'almost', 'half', 'decade', 'ago', 'didnt', 'work', 'way', 'wanted', 'honestlyi', 'amthankful', 'extra', 'time', 'ive', 'lot', 'good', 'memory', 'wouldnt', 'gotten', 'died', 'night', 'great', 'people', 'id', 'never', 'knownbut', 'still', 'feel', 'way', 'sitting', 'back', 'mind', 'time', 'sometimes', 'barely', 'noticeable', 'time', 'almost', 'consuming', 'thought', 'always', 'nowi', 'amfinding', 'winding', 'fucking', 'path', 'last', 'time', 'pushing', 'people', 'away', 'spending', 'time', 'alone', 'slowly', 'losing', 'motivation', 'carry', 'living', 'okay', 'life', 'reason', 'nothing', 'set', 'noticeable', 'change', 'life', 'started', 'slipping', 'away', 'going', 'ruin', 'meive', 'never', 'wanted', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'amscared', 'idea', 'wanted', 'die', 'long', 'remember', 'know', 'go', 'lot', 'success', 'last', 'time', 'ive', 'holding', 'going', 'keep', 'holding', 'long', 'part', 'hope', 'wait', 'mood', 'come', 'around', 'balance', 'like', 'usually', 'doe', 'feel', 'likei', 'amrambling', 'dont', 'many', 'people', 'life', 'open', 'sort', 'thing', 'typing', 'ha', 'little', 'therapeutic', 'thank', 'reading']
125
['shouldnt', 'cant', 'find', 'reason', 'kill', 'except', 'would', 'selfish', 'might', 'hurt', 'people', 'around', 'doesnt', 'make', 'sense', 'care', 'people', 'around', 'stick', 'around', 'living', 'shell', 'fear', 'pain', 'listen', 'whisper', 'back', 'mind', 'telling', 'everyday', 'slit', 'wrist', 'shouldnt', 'listen', 'voice', 'care', 'people', 'would', 'feel', 'decide', 'end', 'life']
42
['around', 'failure', 'first', 'mom', 'amputee', 'knee', 'downmy', 'dad', 'sheet', 'metal', 'worker', 'year', 'oldi', 'never', 'job', 'dropped', 'school', 'th', 'gradei', 'dyslexiai', 'got', 'brother', 'better', 'family', 'car', 'houseall', 'drag', 'everyone', 'mei', 'cost', 'money', 'kid', 'help']
33
['choose', 'suicideagain', 'guess', 'count', 'suicide', 'noteim', 'depressed', 'disabled', 'job', 'friend', 'home', 'want', 'diei', 'wa', 'kid', 'never', 'fit', 'anywhere', 'single', 'parent', 'poverty', 'bad', 'estate', 'high', 'functioning', 'autism', 'made', 'sure', 'kid', 'especially', 'girl', 'didnt', 'like', 'primary', 'education', 'hated', 'boringas', 'teenager', 'school', 'wa', 'easy', 'top', 'english', 'made', 'life', 'simple', 'people', 'liked', 'wa', 'scar', 'ran', 'deepi', 'turned', 'first', 'love', 'home', 'life', 'wa', 'joke', 'mother', 'married', 'chronic', 'alcoholic', 'maybe', 'biggest', 'regret', 'hurt', 'yearsi', 'never', 'realised', 'potential', 'barely', 'attended', 'college', 'got', 'position', 'major', 'government', 'dept', 'wa', 'youngest', 'history', 'hold', 'wa', 'immature', 'missed', 'home', 'felt', 'alienated', 'city', 'resigneddating', 'wa', 'joke', 'thank', 'god', 'hooker', 'girl', 'showed', 'interest', 'could', 'stand', 'club', 'hour', 'never', 'approached', 'telephone', 'dating', 'wa', 'miss', 'hit', 'second', 'date', 'got', 'five', 'year', 'relationship', 'went', 'part', 'time', 'course', 'wa', 'talked', 'going', 'university', 'wellshe', 'cheated', 'timesi', 'ended', 'never', 'scored', 'university', 'never', 'lived', 'potential', 'though', 'graduated', 'felt', 'ugly', 'second', 'rate', 'drank', 'much', 'sobered', 'graduation', 'work', 'also', 'support', 'familymotherbrother', 'little', 'time', 'money', 'extra', 'activity', 'joined', 'police', 'never', 'truly', 'liked', 'much', 'though', 'wa', 'good', 'quite', 'disliked', 'despite', 'impressive', 'stats', 'made', 'classic', 'error', 'getting', 'involved', 'colleague', 'fell', 'love', 'withwho', 'used', 'get', 'ex', 'back', 'avoided', 'id', 'left', 'girlfriend', 'fair', 'colleague', 'got', 'caught', 'something', 'blamed', 'resigned', 'disgust', 'shy', 'year', 'anniversarymoved', 'back', 'home', 'rebuilt', 'life', 'even', 'started', 'social', 'club', 'made', 'friend', 'couldnt', 'date', 'result', 'fun', 'got', 'council', 'job', 'really', 'enjoyed', 'year', 'rejected', 'woman', 'set', 'get', 'fired', 'along', 'friend', 'mother', 'stroke', 'took', 'month', 'die', 'breakdown', 'situation', 'work', 'worsened', 'leading', 'manager', 'nearly', 'punching', 'two', 'camp', 'aligned', 'thing', 'worsened', 'leavestarted', 'within', 'year', 'got', 'good', 'government', 'job', 'good', 'colleague', 'easy', 'work', 'great', 'condition', 'much', 'younger', 'girl', 'stunningly', 'pretty', 'made', 'clear', 'liked', 'start', 'made', 'next', 'big', 'mistakei', 'ignored', 'everything', 'seemed', 'wisebut', 'attraction', 'grew', 'waned', 'pretty', 'alienatedpeople', 'call', 'intelligent', 'wise', 'feel', 'neither', 'feel', 'like', 'fraud', 'everyone', 'like', 'bar', 'one', 'really', 'want', 'typical', 'know', 'wa', 'last', 'best', 'chance', 'blew', 'always', 'second', 'rate', 'second', 'bestlast', 'year', 'decided', 'end', 'n', 'joined', 'exit', 'imported', 'chinese', 'supplier', 'took', 'g', 'antiemetic', 'oramorph', 'alcohol', 'survived', 'went', 'hell', 'icu', 'brother', 'friend', 'rallied', 'round', 'work', 'thought', 'wa', 'stroke', 'recovered', 'amazingly', 'quickly', 'lasting', 'damage', 'lost', 'two', 'stone', 'hit', 'gym', 'recuperate', 'best', 'shape', 'year', 'woman', 'notice', 'longer', 'matter', 'ironic', 'wished', 'succeeded', 'tired', 'hearing', 'unwanted', 'miraclei', 'gathered', 'legal', 'drug', 'end', 'planned', 'final', 'weekend', 'friday', 'house', 'caught', 'fire', 'destroyed', 'stash', 'living', 'room', 'destroyed', 'week', 'wa', 'refugee', 'life', 'flat', 'house', 'repairedill', 'end', 'hereive', 'seen', 'psychiatrist', 'nurse', 'crisis', 'team', 'session', 'counsellor', 'doctor', 'locum', 'even', 'police', 'intervention', 'id', 'best', 'friend', 'intentioncouldnt', 'best', 'man', 'spread', 'brother', 'ha', 'disowned', 'weak', 'thinksi', 'ambeing', 'looked', 'somethingoneall', 'agreei', 'mentally', 'even', 'depressed', 'put', 'cognitive', 'disorder', 'remember', 'peaceful', 'happy', 'first', 'time', 'ready', 'die', 'slept', 'happily', 'dosing', 'er', 'felt', 'slip', 'away', 'blacknessi', 'feel', 'life', 'empty', 'viable', 'option', 'attracts', 'feel', 'vaguely', 'revolting', 'always', 'somehow', 'able', 'fail', 'despite', 'aptitude', 'nowin', 'situation', 'rife', 'girl', 'work', 'exemplifies', 'want', 'never', 'like', 'shes', 'remind', 'dont', 'belong', 'living', 'long', 'mistakei', 'wish', 'cease', 'exist', 'leave', 'term', 'time', 'choosingits', 'control', 'true', 'control', 'mattersmaybe', 'think', 'like', 'thisbut', 'hope', 'others', 'know', 'thought', 'may', 'arent', 'bad', 'wrong', 'may', 'right', 'circumstanceim', 'finished']
483
['ama', 'compulsive', 'liar', 'parent', 'waiting', 'home', 'need', 'end', 'lied', 'education', 'work', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'wats', 'wrong', 'tried', 'hanging', 'today', 'morning', 'need', 'help', 'cant', 'face', 'lived', 'life', 'cant', 'face', 'must', 'die', 'need', 'talk', 'someone', 'tell', 'truth', 'wanna', 'speak', 'truth', 'please']
39
['help', 'severely', 'depressedsuicidal', 'friend', 'best', 'friend', 'tried', 'kill', 'month', 'ago', 'struggle', 'depression', 'medicated', 'fine', 'year', 'end', 'take', 'break', 'medication', 'occasionally', 'prove', 'doesnt', 'need', 'function', 'worked', 'time', 'unmedicated', 'year', 'problem', 'last', 'bout', 'depression', 'without', 'medication', 'ended', 'taking', 'cocktail', 'pill', 'found', 'time', 'took', 'er', 'way', 'released', 'recognizance', 'opposed', 'committed', 'state', 'run', 'facility', 'wa', 'go', 'back', 'medication', 'follow', 'strict', 'outpatient', 'program', 'counselingtherapyhe', 'wa', 'great', 'month', 'wa', 'super', 'happy', 'spoke', 'positively', 'therapy', 'really', 'seemed', 'new', 'outlook', 'life', 'got', 'incredibly', 'supportive', 'network', 'friend', 'family', 'lately', 'seems', 'fallen', 'back', 'behavior', 'pattern', 'leading', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'isolation', 'canceling', 'client', 'work', 'self', 'employed', 'small', 'business', 'owner', 'staying', 'night', 'cocaine', 'etc', 'cant', 'understand', 'positive', 'change', 'made', 'attempt', 'happening', 'always', 'managed', 'fine', 'medication', 'previously', 'make', 'wonder', 'even', 'taking', 'regularly', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'pushing', 'away', 'worried', 'another', 'attempt', 'imminent', 'dont', 'know', 'handle', 'say', 'give', 'space', 'offer', 'listen', 'feel', 'like', 'talking', 'feel', 'like', 'enough', 'amscared', 'death', 'losing', 'best', 'friend', 'thanks', 'advice']
148
['life', 'fucking', 'suck', 'fuck', 'life', 'werent', 'thing', 'made', 'happy', 'wouldve', 'offed', 'longass', 'time', 'ago', 'amliterally', 'garbage', 'employer', 'fucking', 'useless', 'provide', 'usefulness', 'society', 'employer', 'would', 'rather', 'hire', 'literal', 'piece', 'shit', 'fuck', 'point', 'applying', 'job', 'dont', 'even', 'get', 'goddamn', 'response', 'even', 'fucking', 'bother', 'literally', 'nothing', 'offer', 'look', 'like', 'previous', 'work', 'experience', 'doesnt', 'mean', 'shit', 'degree', 'might', 'well', 'toilet', 'paper', 'majored', 'something', 'fucking', 'useless', 'add', 'thati', 'depressed', 'even', 'try', 'learning', 'new', 'skill', 'apply', 'job', 'aint', 'fucking', 'grand', 'wanna', 'fucking', 'die']
77
['maybe', 'dead', 'year', 'old', 'parent', 'died', 'cancer', 'space', 'last', 'two', 'year', 'family', 'nothing', 'wa', 'abused', 'whole', 'life', 'mother', 'also', 'accident', 'guess', 'everything', 'trying', 'say', 'wa', 'meant', 'born', 'understand', 'goodbye']
29
['depressedi', 'angry', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'evolved', 'depressed', 'anger', 'towards', 'life', 'sad', 'much', 'darker', 'could', 'never', 'harm', 'soul', 'dont', 'know', 'continue', 'go', 'turn', 'life', 'starting', 'honestly', 'worthit', 'cant', 'control', 'feeling', 'anymore', 'want', 'people', 'support', 'memy', 'action', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'live', 'recently', 'able', 'distract', 'couple', 'hobby', 'thought', 'still', 'need', 'people', 'talk', 'anyone']
49
['fault', 'ive', 'made', 'lot', 'really', 'fucking', 'done', 'ive', 'raped', 'molested', 'close', 'family', 'member', 'survived', 'previous', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'destroyed', 'college', 'chance', 'drug', 'alcohol', 'one', 'talk', 'right', 'ex', 'girlfriend', 'two', 'year', 'left', 'wa', 'depressing', 'since', 'ive', 'faced', 'nothing', 'rejection', 'someone', 'give', 'something', 'live', 'becausei', 'amdrawing', 'blank', 'want', 'start']
46
['yesterday', 'tried', 'kill', 'self', 'drowning', 'help', 'would', 'bro']
8
['took', 'mg', 'lyrica', 'min', 'ago', 'havent', 'felt', 'anything', 'something', 'wrong']
10
['really', 'need', 'help', 'someone', 'talk', 'dont', 'know', 'um', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'write', 'like', 'intro', 'shit', 'like', 'guess', 'going', 'dive', 'right', 'college', 'hate', 'school', 'wanted', 'go', 'hometown', 'friend', 'went', 'like', 'hour', 'away', 'know', 'nobody', 'school', 'friend', 'time', 'life', 'stuck', 'shitty', 'school', 'full', 'redneck', 'racist', 'give', 'shit', 'drinking', 'partying', 'actually', 'love', 'shit', 'fucking', 'thing', 'especially', 'people', 'worked', 'job', 'summer', 'required', 'live', 'elsewhere', 'didnt', 'see', 'family', 'much', 'since', 'graduation', 'miss', 'fucking', 'family', 'friend', 'much', 'want', 'see', 'wont', 'come', 'visit', 'girl', 'really', 'like', 'girl', 'actually', 'feeling', 'wheni', 'sober', 'kind', 'told', 'isnt', 'interested', 'theme', 'girl', 'like', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'type', 'yeah', 'reason', 'need', 'sort', 'like', 'confirmation', 'existance', 'dont', 'know', 'help']
106
['amfeeling', 'worse', 'worse', 'dailyi', 'ameasily', 'hated', 'deserve', 'iti', 'annoying', 'piece', 'shit', 'cant', 'even', 'change', 'everythingi', 'amhated', 'cant', 'change', 'friend', 'even', 'starting', 'hate', 'meevery', 'day', 'get', 'lonely', 'amto', 'much', 'pussy', 'tell', 'anyone', 'irl', 'also', 'feel', 'anxiety', 'every', 'time', 'talk', 'people', 'constant', 'worry', 'hating', 'echoing', 'head', 'try', 'repress', 'making', 'worse', 'music', 'somewhat', 'therapeutic', 'though', 'even', 'make', 'feel', 'worse', 'thinking', 'far', 'theyve', 'come', 'whilsti', 'still', 'nobodyevery', 'day', 'see', 'new', 'headline', 'saying', 'insert', 'name', 'ha', 'died', 'murder', 'car', 'accident', 'suicide', 'etc', 'feel', 'jealous', 'knowing', 'least', 'peace', 'loneliness', 'one', 'worse', 'feeling', 'experience', 'fall', 'harder', 'recover', 'feel', 'like', 'song', 'repeat', 'get', 'worse', 'every', 'replayi', 'online', 'friend', 'guess', 'still', 'nervous', 'tell', 'even', 'much', 'worse', 'ive', 'gotten', 'couple', 'daysno', 'one', 'notice', 'thati', 'amdepressed', 'asi', 'still', 'faking', 'happy', 'outgoing', 'semiself', 'deprecating', 'self']
123
['suicidal', 'ideation', 'thought', 'life', 'would', 'full', 'suicidal', 'breakdown', 'two', 'day', 'ago', 'instead', 'killing', 'called', 'friend', 'help', 'wa', 'worst', 'decision', 'ever', 'honestly', 'still', 'want', 'die', 'honestly', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore']
28
['suicidal', 'ideation', 'losing', 'live', 'widow', 'spend', 'yr', 'anniversary', 'alone', 'married', 'perfect', 'man', 'ruined', 'whole', 'life', 'one', 'day', 'one', 'week', 'lost', 'husband', 'career', 'physical', 'health', 'mental', 'health', 'many', 'friend', 'self', 'confidence', 'started', 'car', 'wreck', 'havent', 'working', 'month', 'job', 'sore', 'friend', 'abandoned', 'due', 'isolation', 'lack', 'motivation', 'help', 'career', 'mean', 'nothing', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'field', 'master', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'used', 'happy', 'barely', 'bothered', 'get', 'take', 'shower', 'day', 'maintain', 'healthy', 'diet', 'hate', 'want', 'die', 'feel', 'like', 'died', 'wreck', 'life', 'never', 'ending', 'shit', 'fest', 'get', 'guilt', 'tripped', 'living', 'fuck', 'people', 'get', 'bystander', 'glorious', 'trainwreck', 'life', 'oh', 'icing', 'cake', 'facing', 'felony', 'manslaughter', 'charge', 'husband', 'death', 'well', 'hate', 'life', 'want', 'hurt', 'unmotivated', 'coward', 'thing', 'keep', 'going', 'distraction', 'find', 'like', 'online', 'shopping', 'cleaning', 'getting', 'rid', 'anything', 'reminds', 'previously', 'happy', 'life', 'wa', 'actually', 'going', 'place', 'worst', 'reddit']
128
['amstuck', 'placei', 'ama', 'ghosti', 'aminvisible', 'people', 'school', 'acknowledge', 'presence', 'even', 'fewer', 'people', 'talk', 'feel', 'forgotten', 'everyone', 'fun', 'couch', 'typing', 'listening', 'music', 'wish', 'everyone', 'school', 'wasnt', 'fake', 'acting', 'like', 'people', 'dont', 'exist', 'cant', 'take', 'kill', 'die', 'unexpectedly', 'ive', 'seen', 'ive', 'seen', 'two', 'people', 'one', 'still', 'brought', 'wa', 'club', 'school', 'probably', 'forgotten', 'everyone', 'elsei', 'amprobably', 'going', 'leave', 'tonight', 'want', 'school', 'youll', 'know', 'begging', 'attention', 'two', 'guy', 'normally', 'hang', 'one', 'allowed', 'say', 'want', 'everyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'always', 'alienated', 'knew', 'know', 'ive', 'bullied', 'know', 'remembered', 'end', 'guess', 'could', 'buried', 'hatchet', 'let', 'thing', 'go', 'didnt', 'dont', 'want', 'funeral', 'church', 'want', 'somewhere', 'outside', 'big', 'enough', 'least', 'twenty', 'thirty', 'people', 'enough', 'room', 'necessary', 'dont', 'want', 'anyone', 'sitting', 'pity', 'party', 'want', 'talk', 'favorite', 'story', 'mei', 'amprobably', 'going', 'online', 'another', 'hour', 'make', 'mind', 'one', 'last', 'time', 'feel', 'free', 'talk', 'decide', 'tonight', 'least', 'update', 'post', 'edit', 'know', 'said', 'hour', 'thinki', 'going', 'sleep', 'tonight', 'see', 'feel', 'morning', 'come']
149
['tomorrow', 'nothing', 'lose', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'even', 'become', 'paralysedi', 'live', 'boring', 'live', 'inside', 'house', 'last', 'year', 'hate', 'peoplei', 'really', 'nothing', 'lose', 'except', 'chainsto', 'honest', 'becoming', 'paralysed', 'better', 'working', 'everyday', 'dont', 'care', 'familyi', 'look', 'eye', 'tell', 'start', 'working', 'tomorrow', 'commit', 'suicide']
39
['inch', 'inch', 'started', 'put', 'together', 'practicing', 'going', 'step', 'making', 'sure', 'go', 'well', 'surprise', 'etc', 'except', 'last', 'step', 'obviously', 'since', 'writing', 'surprised', 'lack', 'emotion', 'drama', 'thought', 'would', 'scared', 'nervous', 'cry', 'sad', 'time', 'come', 'really', 'believe', 'going', 'easy', 'ha', 'feeding', 'scratching', 'itch', 'putting', 'shirt', 'something', 'without', 'thinking', 'without', 'thought', 'genuinely', 'surprised', 'revelation', 'almost', 'let', 'lol', 'delusional', 'know', 'exactly', 'happening', 'marching', 'towards', 'something', 'going', 'bring', 'huge', 'amount', 'pain', 'people', 'around', 'something', 'always', 'possibility', 'solving', 'time', 'future', 'little', 'light', 'hope', 'longer', 'good', 'enough', 'dont', 'care', 'possibility', 'anymore', 'want', 'something', 'absolute', 'want', 'something', 'concrete', 'tired', 'putting', 'forth', 'effort', 'getting', 'anything', 'thought', 'well', 'keep', 'trying', 'one', 'day', 'ok', 'longer', 'good', 'enough', 'pretty', 'much', 'done', 'try', 'fix', 'zero', 'positive', 'result', 'even', 'close', 'ok', 'huge', 'disappointment', 'tired', 'trying', 'longer', 'want', 'put', 'forth', 'effort', 'especially', 'effort', 'thing', 'done', 'year', 'wish', 'wa', 'something', 'psychologist', 'ha', 'ever', 'told', 'something', 'ground', 'breaking', 'light', 'bulb', 'moment', 'change', 'life', 'forever', 'etc', 'say', 'shit', 'zero', 'drive', 'left', 'used', 'either', 'miracle', 'happens', 'next', 'month', 'light', 'thought', 'family', 'would', 'enough', 'keep', 'holding', 'wa', 'lot', 'year', 'isnt', 'anymore', 'sure', 'love', 'love', 'love', 'others', 'enough', 'nothing', 'life', 'give', 'meaning', 'feeling', 'accomplishment', 'literally', 'taking', 'space']
185
['lmao', 'done', 'onem', 'wa', 'hoping', 'id', 'okkdoing', 'wellthank']
8
['already', 'know', 'everyone', 'going', 'die', 'method', 'know', 'painful', 'one', 'feel', 'deserve', 'heart', 'attack', 'isnt', 'grisly', 'would', 'find', 'method']
18
['lost', 'emotionally', 'exhausted', 'destroyed', 'sound', 'silly', 'cant', 'get', 'day', 'without', 'wanting', 'kill', 'dont', 'feel', 'good', 'enough', 'anyone', 'reallyi', 'point', 'cant', 'stand', 'living', 'ive', 'started', 'self', 'harming', 'well', 'feel', 'like', 'thing', 'never', 'get', 'better', 'yes', 'ive', 'talked', 'usually', 'end', 'fight', 'telling', 'stop', 'controlling', 'ha', 'nothing']
44
['nothing', 'ever', 'ok', 'might', 'cant', 'promise', 'say', 'happen', 'know', 'sometimes', 'seems', 'like', 'dark', 'last', 'forever', 'light', 'end', 'tunnel', 'going', 'train', 'run', 'u', 'sometimes', 'really', 'sunlight', 'go', 'please', 'dont', 'anything', 'harmful', 'find', 'someone', 'talk', 'something', 'distract', 'dont', 'hurt', 'okay']
38
['ive', 'given', 'recently', 'ive', 'given', 'recently', 'becausei', 'trying', 'hard', 'happy', 'trying', 'everything', 'possible', 'trying', 'keep', 'friend', 'happy', 'stable', 'school', 'relationship', 'friend', 'also', 'cant', 'keep', 'anymore', 'hurricane', 'irma', 'coming', 'mei', 'amthinking', 'going', 'outside', 'hoping', 'die', 'quick', 'dont', 'gun', 'forgot', 'buy', 'rope', 'dont', 'really', 'wanna', 'go', 'slow', 'death', 'could', 'get', 'saved', 'idk', 'anymore']
51
['ive', 'punishing', 'havent', 'done', 'since', 'wa', 'need', 'againi', 'worthless', 'deserve', 'turn', 'water', 'hottest', 'setting', 'let', 'back', 'burn', 'know', 'deserve']
19
['happy', 'want', 'die', 'life', 'good', 'enjoy', 'would', 'rather', 'dead', 'dont', 'job', 'love', 'school', 'life', 'isnt', 'bad', 'hard', 'want', 'die', 'eaten', 'drank', 'anything', 'hour', 'hope', 'easy', 'relatively', 'painless', 'death', 'wish', 'would', 'die', 'faster']
32
['suicidal', 'thought']
2
['blackmail', 'push', 'suicide', 'hello', 'guy', 'yoi', 'amnew', 'ampsychologically', 'exhaustedi', 'really', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'month', 'ago', 'girl', 'website', 'foreign', 'country', 'started', 'talk', 'lot', 'today', 'nearly', 'year', 'told', 'wa', 'major', 'university', 'nothing', 'special', 'many', 'talk', 'started', 'feeling', 'started', 'long', 'distance', 'relationship', 'wa', 'shy', 'never', 'sent', 'many', 'pic', 'totally', 'looked', 'like', 'young', 'adult', 'relation', 'became', 'serious', 'family', 'involved', 'projets', 'future', 'live', 'together', 'course', 'went', 'talk', 'sex', 'sexual', 'convos', 'knew', 'diagnosed', 'bdp', 'sociopath', 'paranoid', 'knew', 'lie', 'lied', 'everything', 'age', 'past', 'experience', 'study', 'fact', 'really', 'younger', 'parent', 'thought', 'told', 'lied', 'gap', 'never', 'bothered', 'didnt', 'know', 'knew', 'got', 'shocked', 'hurted', 'previous', 'bf', 'wa', 'never', 'bothered', 'themproblem', 'family', 'father', 'ultra', 'religious', 'conservative', 'since', 'wa', 'first', 'guy', 'talked', 'sexually', 'push', 'marry', 'year', 'despite', 'fact', 'know', 'lied', 'threaten', 'blackmail', 'betray', 'leave', 'threaten', 'go', 'court', 'law', 'brother', 'threaten', 'death', 'since', 'completely', 'paranoid', 'think', 'betrayed', 'told', 'father', 'wanna', 'destroy', 'like', 'told', 'despite', 'effort', 'explain', 'never', 'betrayedim', 'exhausted', 'many', 'thing', 'girl', 'lied', 'alli', 'amexhausted', 'cant', 'run', 'away', 'except', 'suicide', 'know', 'father', 'brother', 'beat', 'belti', 'dont', 'know', 'doi', 'amexhausted', 'wanna', 'die']
167
['keep', 'game', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'dont', 'want', 'end', 'existence', 'forever', 'ive', 'cut', 'almost', 'died', 'blood', 'loss', 'didnt', 'ive', 'put', 'hospital', 'injected', 'drug', 'hurt', 'nothing', 'changed', 'people', 'tell', 'grateful', 'thing', 'make', 'feel', 'guilty', 'ive', 'seen', 'psychs', 'south', 'insane', 'reiki', 'enery', 'healing', 'power', 'christ', 'ect', 'ive', 'tried', 'tell', 'brave', 'ive', 'tried', 'different', 'person', 'tried', 'accept', 'robot', 'became', 'nothing', 'work', 'two', 'cat', 'thing', 'keeping', 'alive', 'crazy', 'cat', 'ladybut', 'nothing', 'one', 'live', 'forits', 'easy', 'die', 'cat', 'keep', 'alive', 'one', 'else', 'take', 'care']
78
['feel', 'better', 'enough', 'something', 'since', 'april', 'ive', 'spiraling', 'downward', 'finish', 'class', 'november', 'amparalyzed', 'depression', 'dont', 'insurance', 'cant', 'afford', 'therapy', 'medication', 'day', 'completely', 'empty', 'spend', 'time', 'bed', 'take', 'sleeping', 'pill', 'throughout', 'day', 'sleep', 'away', 'time', 'cant', 'get', 'motivated', 'interested', 'feel', 'like', 'lost', 'cause', 'point', 'never', 'get', 'work', 'done', 'friend', 'dont', 'want', 'live']
51
['got', 'planned', 'yo', 'malei', 'ammarried', 'kid', 'year', 'monthsi', 'amtotally', 'dead', 'internally', 'piece', 'shit', 'soi', 'going', 'blow', 'brain', 'theyre', 'old', 'enough', 'live', 'feel', 'really', 'guilty', 'becausei', 'going', 'waste', 'much', 'wife', 'life', 'nothing', 'know', 'theyll', 'taken', 'care', 'becausei', 'military', 'kill', 'whilei', 'still', 'wife', 'get', 'fuck', 'ton', 'moneyi', 'already', 'developing', 'alcoholic', 'maybe', 'thatll', 'get', 'first']
52
['anyone', 'awake', 'wanna', 'talk']
4
['confession', 'cry', 'help', 'amwas', 'decide', 'guess', 'sadistic', 'psychopath', 'felt', 'emotion', 'anyone', 'wa', 'emulated', 'wa', 'flawless', 'liar', 'one', 'ever', 'suspected', 'wa', 'anyone', 'presented', 'hated', 'people', 'made', 'happy', 'see', 'suffer', 'ive', 'never', 'physically', 'harmed', 'anyone', 'ruined', 'people', 'life', 'reason', 'malicei', 'amalso', 'longtime', 'user', 'sub', 'frequently', 'preyed', 'upon', 'seeking', 'help', 'via', 'pm', 'suspect', 'killed', 'wasnt', 'specific', 'intention', 'gave', 'unrivaled', 'feeling', 'satisfactioni', 'wa', 'also', 'reckless', 'selfdestructive', 'person', 'without', 'fear', 'would', 'anything', 'experience', 'without', 'worrying', 'consequence', 'law', 'average', 'caught', 'made', 'mistake', 'think', 'going', 'end', 'decided', 'transition', 'woman', 'time', 'fetishistic', 'reason', 'using', 'hormone', 'lied', 'way', 'potential', 'gatekeeping', 'told', 'dysphoria', 'whole', 'life', 'wa', 'easy', 'week', 'starting', 'hormone', 'thing', 'got', 'weird', 'got', 'weirder', 'longer', 'went', 'firstly', 'wa', 'always', 'planning', 'kill', 'quite', 'young', 'felt', 'like', 'existence', 'wa', 'wrong', 'wa', 'vague', 'feeling', 'wa', 'intense', 'fear', 'death', 'decided', 'would', 'kill', 'whenever', 'life', 'stopped', 'fun', 'quickly', 'feeling', 'went', 'away', 'next', 'change', 'wa', 'started', 'developing', 'emotionally', 'full', 'range', 'emotion', 'never', 'experienced', 'always', 'thought', 'wa', 'good', 'managing', 'emotion', 'think', 'never', 'emotion', 'manage', 'wasis', 'quite', 'overwhelming', 'change', 'seems', 'like', 'going', 'downfall', 'developing', 'emotional', 'empathy', 'started', 'care', 'people', 'struggle', 'even', 'random', 'stranger', 'felt', 'good', 'would', 'go', 'bad', 'neighborhood', 'give', 'money', 'homeless', 'people', 'sit', 'listen', 'talk', 'life', 'made', 'happy', 'make', 'happy', 'thinking', 'pain', 'hurt', 'feel', 'likei', 'amfinally', 'turning', 'complete', 'person', 'didnt', 'understand', 'empty', 'wa', 'never', 'anything', 'compare', 'toalong', 'emotional', 'empathy', 'though', 'wa', 'something', 'else', 'think', 'wont', 'stop', 'escalating', 'either', 'kill', 'psychotic', 'break', 'started', 'feel', 'guilty', 'kind', 'person', 'wa', 'keep', 'getting', 'worse', 'already', 'unbearable', 'top', 'ive', 'started', 'getting', 'flashback', 'childhood', 'trauma', 'sanity', 'slipping', 'rapidly', 'want', 'kill', 'new', 'reason', 'hilariously', 'people', 'life', 'care', 'would', 'crushed', 'anything', 'described', 'poetic', 'justice', 'imagine', 'could', 'detransition', 'never', 'want', 'go', 'back', 'wa', 'physically', 'mentally', 'dont', 'expect', 'sympathy', 'even', 'belief', 'anyone', 'wanted', 'type', 'anywayi', 'sorryi', 'sorry', 'everything', 'never', 'want', 'hurt', 'anyone', 'ever', 'wish', 'never', 'hurt', 'anyone', 'wish', 'could', 'take', 'back', 'cant', 'nothing', 'ever', 'make', 'sorry', 'guilt', 'destroying', 'cant', 'express', 'sorry']
305
['mom', 'dog', 'reasonsi', 'still', 'need', 'vent', 'mom', 'panic', 'attack', 'tell', 'amgonna', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'wa', 'abused', 'child', 'father', 'wa', 'piece', 'shit', 'amgonna', 'leave', 'developed', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'ive', 'depressed', 'anxious', 'since', 'middle', 'school', 'meaningful', 'relationship', 'friend', 'made', 'drug', 'drug', 'literally', 'spent', 'time', 'playing', 'video', 'game', 'still', 'meaningful', 'relationship', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'lonelyi', 'went', 'decent', 'engineering', 'college', 'anxiety', 'worsened', 'depression', 'almost', 'got', 'girlfriend', 'sabotaged', 'like', 'usual', 'first', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'called', 'mom', 'talked', 'jumping', 'story', 'dorm', 'building', 'dropped', 'school', 'got', 'help', 'finally', 'lost', 'virginity', 'started', 'feeling', 'better', 'went', 'back', 'school', 'worked', 'offgot', 'dog', 'got', 'girlfriend', 'got', 'job', 'animal', 'hospital', 'life', 'collapsed', 'dropped', 'moved', 'back', 'home', 'worked', 'family', 'restaurant', 'fucking', 'hated', 'wa', 'still', 'taking', 'antidepressant', 'decided', 'try', 'therapy', 'couldnt', 'stand', 'counselor', 'went', 'gave', 'second', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'downed', 'bottle', 'whiskey', 'bottle', 'pill', 'freaked', 'halfway', 'made', 'throw', 'everything', 'made', 'friend', 'started', 'going', 'drinkingdoing', 'coke', 'sent', 'another', 'depressive', 'episode', 'spent', 'th', 'birthday', 'sitting', 'alone', 'beach', 'night', 'razor', 'blade', 'one', 'hand', 'bottle', 'whiskey', 'reached', 'ex', 'see', 'would', 'take', 'dog', 'wa', 'dead', 'talked', 'iti', 'moved', 'atl', 'hope', 'going', 'back', 'school', 'discovered', 'dad', 'withdrew', 'one', 'student', 'loan', 'took', 'without', 'telling', 'payment', 'defaulted', 'owe', 'school', 'ever', 'want', 'go', 'back', 'school', 'long', 'story', 'everything', 'wa', 'legal', 'fucked', 'wa', 'stupid', 'enough', 'trust', 'time', 'nowi', 'amthousands', 'dollar', 'debt', 'got', 'fired', 'job', 'wa', 'miserable', 'bank', 'account', 'car', 'payment', 'coming', 'doubt', 'even', 'able', 'pay', 'med', 'monthi', 'amhungry', 'want', 'fucking', 'diei', 'cant', 'find', 'strength', 'kill', 'though', 'ive', 'started', 'looking', 'people', 'take', 'dog', 'ha', 'home', 'afteri', 'amdead', 'thought', 'losing', 'outweighs', 'thought', 'suicide', 'would', 'break', 'mom', 'heart', 'helped', 'care', 'wake', 'every', 'morning', 'wanting', 'diei', 'amnumb', 'world', 'greyi', 'trying', 'get', 'job', 'fucking', 'eat', 'amstruggling', 'dont', 'know', 'doi', 'dont', 'care', 'nobody', 'read', 'needed', 'get', 'chest']
272
['doesnt', 'matter', 'anymore', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'cant', 'talk', 'irl', 'physical', 'violence', 'cant', 'take', 'step', 'online', 'crude', 'language', 'hatefull', 'nature']
18
['feel', 'broken', 'demotivated', 'would', 'like', 'hear', 'someone', 'success', 'story', 'overcame', 'chronic', 'suicidal', 'urge', 'need', 'inspiration', 'rn', 'maybe', 'even', 'blueprint', 'go']
20
['upseti', 'tired', 'life', 'need', 'tip', 'get', 'better', 'cuz', 'nothing', 'going', 'better', 'feel', 'like', 'itll', 'never', 'okay', 'please', 'help']
18
['depressed', 'two', 'month', 'teen', 'highfunctioning', 'depression', 'everything', 'getting', 'much', 'able', 'handle', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'one', 'time', 'july', 'almost', 'overodosing', 'talked', 'hotline', 'luckily', 'didnt', 'tuesday', 'night', 'wa', 'close', 'overdosing', 'last', 'night', 'considered', 'cutting', 'wrist', 'alot', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'family', 'emotionally', 'abuse', 'support', 'please', 'dont', 'tell', 'tell', 'family', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'scare', 'hell', 'please', 'doe', 'anyone', 'suggestion', 'keep', 'fighting', 'seriously', 'end', 'rope', 'ive', 'depressed', 'two', 'month', 'dont', 'think', 'ever', 'get', 'better', 'cause', 'wont', 'changei', 'really', 'luck', 'terribly', 'hopeless', 'depressed', 'cannot', 'explain', 'pain', 'feeling', 'self', 'harm', 'also', 'cut', 'last', 'night', 'help', 'appreciated']
86
['feel', 'worthless', 'need', 'second', 'opinion', 'ive', 'never', 'especially', 'motivated', 'repeated', 'peril', 'recently', 'last', 'month', 'ive', 'completely', 'wholly', 'lost', 'interest', 'anything', 'anyone', 'feel', 'utterly', 'shattered', 'time', 'barely', 'get', 'bed', 'let', 'alone', 'go', 'outside', 'spend', 'almost', 'time', 'either', 'sleeping', 'watching', 'classic', 'film', 'internet', 'usually', 'drinking', 'time', 'family', 'tolerating', 'suspect', 'wont', 'forever', 'already', 'find', 'draining', 'interact', 'daily', 'basis', 'naturally', 'venomously', 'loathe', 'useless', 'passive', 'everything', 'course', 'usual', 'suspect', 'prospect', 'experience', 'friend', 'purely', 'thanks', 'etc', 'etc', 'occasional', 'burst', 'energy', 'spontaneously', 'break', 'something', 'hurt', 'like', 'child', 'outlet', 'keep', 'recurring', 'dream', 'whichi', 'amlocked', 'dark', 'room', 'noose', 'chair', 'spend', 'fair', 'amount', 'unlimited', 'free', 'time', 'researching', 'method', 'suicide', 'currently', 'deciding', 'co', 'opiate', 'overdosethe', 'worst', 'part', 'thati', 'ampainfully', 'aware', 'good', 'compared', 'people', 'parent', 'would', 'let', 'lie', 'month', 'whilst', 'barely', 'complaining', 'horrible', 'feeling', 'hating', 'anybody', 'else', 'hating', 'fact', 'youre', 'lazy', 'anything', 'even', 'morei', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whyi', 'amposting', 'apart', 'feel', 'cant', 'go', 'like', 'much', 'longer', 'something', 'ha', 'break', 'suspect']
148
['dont', 'want', 'disappointment', 'dad', 'died', 'suddenly', 'year', 'ago', 'whole', 'life', 'ive', 'worked', 'hard', 'school', 'knew', 'important', 'wa', 'told', 'university', 'wa', 'best', 'time', 'life', 'wanted', 'left', 'bunch', 'money', 'name', 'specifically', 'educationi', 'amfinally', 'ammessing', 'everything', 'ive', 'always', 'anxiety', 'problem', 'gotten', 'much', 'worse', 'since', 'started', 'try', 'really', 'hard', 'force', 'go', 'orientation', 'event', 'social', 'opportunity', 'stand', 'staring', 'foot', 'feel', 'likei', 'amparalyzed', 'fear', 'cant', 'handle', 'living', 'residence', 'need', 'time', 'alone', 'dont', 'even', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'cry', 'becausei', 'amworried', 'someone', 'else', 'hear', 'ive', 'probably', 'spoken', 'sentence', 'total', 'roommate', 'probably', 'thinksi', 'aminsane', 'feel', 'trapped', 'claustrophobic', 'timei', 'already', 'stressed', 'work', 'class', 'going', 'get', 'harder', 'dropping', 'isnt', 'option', 'hed', 'disappointed', 'really', 'want', 'end', 'dont', 'feel', 'pressure', 'anymore']
107
['cant', 'get', 'put', 'mask', 'class', 'hour', 'cant', 'promised', 'wasnt', 'going', 'skip', 'class', 'semester', 'much', 'pain', 'exhaustion', 'binge', 'eating', 'point', 'couldnt', 'breathe', 'threw', 'unsuccessfully', 'chain', 'smoked', 'hate', 'hate', 'cant', 'get', 'bed', 'put', 'together', 'another', 'class', 'thinking', 'everything', 'need', 'make', 'want', 'end', 'th', 'level', 'parking', 'garage', 'seems', 'high', 'enough']
47
['sure', 'still', 'want', 'live', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'like', 'want', 'kill', 'life', 'seems', 'sort', 'good', 'like', 'go', 'one', 'top', 'school', 'country', 'win', 'award', 'stuff', 'amjust', 'sick', 'everything', 'might', 'seem', 'petty', 'need', 'get', 'thereim', 'sick', 'parent', 'always', 'back', 'well', 'even', 'though', 'standard', 'want', 'come', 'first', 'everything', 'impossible', 'anything', 'good', 'never', 'say', 'well', 'done', 'always', 'put', 'bad', 'something', 'ive', 'never', 'great', 'sport', 'compulsory', 'school', 'parent', 'always', 'tell', 'mei', 'amuseless', 'team', 'top', 'parentingi', 'even', 'allowed', 'watch', 'tv', 'day', 'literally', 'take', 'plug', 'hide', 'study', 'dont', 'let', 'life', 'show', 'schooli', 'amjust', 'sick', 'alli', 'even', 'sure', 'friend', 'anymore', 'school', 'either', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'fit', 'anyone', 'ive', 'showing', 'school', 'looking', 'depressed', 'everyones', 'giving', 'weird', 'look', 'think', 'ive', 'lost', 'friend', 'last', 'year', 'depressed', 'seem', 'ive', 'tried', 'cutting', 'twice', 'release', 'pain', 'made', 'feel', 'much', 'better', 'someone', 'school', 'saw', 'scar', 'stopped', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'see', 'counsellor', 'schooli', 'sort', 'overweight', 'fat', 'age', 'height', 'used', 'eat', 'shit', 'ton', 'whenever', 'felt', 'depressed', 'dont', 'eat', 'punish', 'shiti', 'ampretty', 'surei', 'socially', 'retarded', 'cant', 'go', 'talk', 'anyone', 'except', 'maybe', 'two', 'people', 'social', 'anxietyi', 'fine', 'giving', 'speech', 'debate', 'something', 'amincapable', 'conversation', 'someonei', 'ameven', 'fuckin', 'retarded', 'girl', 'even', 'online', 'girl', 'somewhat', 'know', 'existence', 'thinki', 'ama', 'weird', 'creep', 'really', 'depressing', 'think', 'thats', 'impression', 'give', 'want', 'people', 'forget', 'existence', 'thing', 'like', 'know', 'rant', 'seems', 'really', 'stupid', 'ive', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'long', 'time', 'dont', 'want', 'get', 'help', 'coz', 'parent', 'back', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'socially', 'useless', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whyi', 'amputting', 'rant', 'guess', 'want', 'know', 'someone', 'listeni', 'think', 'killing', 'lot', 'time', 'cry', 'sleep', 'sometimes', 'amalso', 'afraid', 'kill', 'dont', 'know']
243
['edge', 'cant', 'seem', 'bring', 'give', 'fuck', 'anyone', 'anything', 'ive', 'got', 'everything', 'planned', 'last', 'stand', 'reddit', 'cant', 'help', 'one', 'id', 'give', 'day', 'max']
22
['incest', 'std', 'psychosis', 'depression', 'keep', 'shorti', 'ammatti', 'wa', 'sexually', 'abused', 'older', 'brother', 'age', 'one', 'earliest', 'memory', 'ejaculating', 'mouth', 'life', 'go', 'oni', 'ama', 'depressed', 'loner', 'obvious', 'reason', 'meet', 'girl', 'fall', 'lovei', 'amprobably', 'shit', 'good', 'cheat', 'relationship', 'shes', 'basically', 'whore', 'love', 'know', 'love', 'us', 'meturn', 'marijuana', 'relief', 'marijuana', 'best', 'friend', 'typical', 'stoner', 'love', 'plant', 'learn', 'everything', 'know', 'plant', 'saved', 'life', 'finally', 'find', 'somethingi', 'ampassionate', 'finally', 'find', 'something', 'make', 'feel', 'human', 'one', 'day', 'couple', 'week', 'ago', 'turn', 'psychotic', 'break', 'diagnosed', 'ptsd', 'psychotic', 'depression', 'girl', 'hit', 'couple', 'week', 'ago', 'girl', 'ive', 'ever', 'sex', 'rash', 'pubic', 'area', 'probably', 'herpes', 'worsemy', 'life', 'series', 'bad', 'descions', 'part', 'know', 'entirely', 'fault', 'smarter', 'part', 'know', 'deserved', 'everything', 'come', 'way', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'amgarbage', 'life', 'garbage', 'people', 'garbage', 'fuck', 'think', 'turn', 'car', 'garage', 'let', 'slip', 'awaytheres', 'nothing']
127
['looking', 'help', 'friend', 'hi', 'everyonei', 'looking', 'advicei', 'friend', 'wa', 'recently', 'raped', 'shes', 'wa', 'drugged', 'taken', 'advantage', 'partyi', 'best', 'supportive', 'making', 'surei', 'amthere', 'night', 'ago', 'talk', 'killing', 'ha', 'past', 'history', 'depression', 'attempt', 'amafraid', 'might', 'push', 'edge', 'shes', 'convinced', 'life', 'never', 'going', 'get', 'better', 'please', 'give', 'advice', 'franklyi', 'ampanicking', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'help']
51
['tried', 'kill', 'failed', 'week', 'ago', 'rope', 'broke', 'nowi', 'amleft', 'huge', 'scar', 'neck', 'thing', 'isi', 'amjust', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'watching', 'paint', 'dry', 'wall', 'sense', 'boredom', 'nothingness', 'occasional', 'burst', 'sadness', 'anger', 'time', 'coming', 'drinking', 'whatever', 'affordsome', 'would', 'say', 'glad', 'failed', 'dont', 'honestly', 'wish', 'rope', 'hadnt', 'broke', 'already', 'blacked', 'wa', 'easy', 'nowi', 'awkward', 'position', 'willing', 'go', 'process', 'best', 'experience', 'definitely', 'something', 'wouldnt', 'want', 'repeat', 'anytime', 'soon', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'looking', 'help', 'tired', 'retarded', 'joke', 'people', 'doesnt', 'suspect', 'thing', 'scar', 'got', 'erotical', 'asphyxiation', 'wanted', 'let', 'unknown', 'know', 'little', 'secret']
85
['generic', 'dramatic', 'wanna', 'die', 'titlei', 'clear', 'rule', 'want', 'die', 'mean', 'mind', 'made', 'wont', 'bore', 'reason', 'method', 'seems', 'appealing', 'would', 'like', 'people', 'take', 'matter', 'youre', 'like', 'dogooders', 'trying', 'keep', 'traffic', 'intolerable', 'mean', 'dont', 'drive', 'asshole', 'make', 'wait', 'extra', 'second', 'take', 'right', 'turn', 'wrong', 'place', 'shall', 'begin']
45
['sure', 'long', 'keep', 'going', 'little', 'social', 'life', 'ive', 'tried', 'talking', 'people', 'always', 'get', 'turned', 'downmy', 'dad', 'wa', 'wondering', 'suggested', 'aspergers', 'syndrome', 'wa', 'right', 'got', 'diagnosed', 'aspergers', 'syndrome', 'individual', 'miss', 'social', 'cue', 'doesnt', 'naturally', 'understand', 'facial', 'expression', 'body', 'language', 'human', 'mainly', 'communicateluckily', 'enough', 'new', 'job', 'health', 'insurance', 'kick', 'soon', 'wondering', 'social', 'therapy', 'helpi', 'need', 'something', 'donti', 'going', 'kill', 'plain', 'simple', 'family', 'isnt', 'much', 'help', 'either', 'besides', 'dad', 'percent', 'family', 'broken', 'criminal', 'new', 'york', 'including', 'different', 'state']
75
['school', 'hell', 'school', 'started', 'recently', 'wa', 'hoping', 'thing', 'could', 'better', 'yeari', 'amon', 'autism', 'spectrum', 'amadhd', 'impact', 'way', 'increase', 'cognitive', 'ability', 'lower', 'ability', 'focusbecause', 'people', 'always', 'tell', 'thati', 'amsuch', 'smart', 'kid', 'shouldnt', 'getting', 'low', 'grade', 'matter', 'hard', 'try', 'never', 'make', 'homework', 'ive', 'started', 'feel', 'likei', 'amjust', 'useless', 'worth', 'going', 'oni', 'know', 'parent', 'friend', 'care', 'dont', 'want', 'worry', 'upset', 'feel', 'likei', 'ambeing', 'much', 'burden', 'right', 'school', 'cause', 'anxiety', 'cant', 'seem', 'work', 'think', 'might', 'fail', 'class', 'againi', 'wa', 'recently', 'put', 'antidepressant', 'arent', 'helping', 'cant', 'get', 'rid', 'voice', 'head', 'keep', 'telling', 'end', 'go', 'thati', 'amuseless', 'continue', 'exist', 'dont', 'know']
95
['nobody', 'change', 'mind', 'even', 'myselfi', 'going', 'dont', 'feel', 'guilt', 'anymore', 'towards', 'people', 'leave', 'behind', 'time']
15
['practise', 'abortion', 'month', 'old', 'kid', 'please', 'stupid', 'ive', 'tried', 'nothing', 'worksi', 'tired', 'people', 'following', 'life', 'plan', 'dont', 'plan', 'hate', 'alland', 'anything', 'hate', 'myselfwhat', 'f', 'end', 'stupid', 'embryon', 'shouldve', 'killed', 'doctor', 'wa', 'late', 'mother', 'abortion', 'wa', 'child', 'doctor', 'practise', 'abortion', 'month', 'old', 'child', 'please']
43
['ama', 'year', 'old', 'loser', 'nothing', 'job', 'car', 'money', 'school', 'still', 'undergrad', 'worked', 'long', 'restaurant', 'make', 'money', 'school', 'hate', 'hair', 'cheek', 'jaw', 'nose', 'body', 'shape', 'body', 'general', 'nothing']
27
['honestly', 'dont', 'see', 'self', 'making', 'past', 'fucking', 'hate', 'lifei', 'amhanging', 'barely', 'thing', 'really', 'keeping', 'going', 'dog', 'fact', 'id', 'like', 'least', 'cross', 'sex', 'bucket', 'list', 'shit', 'fucking', 'terrified', 'amim', 'atheist', 'know', 'right', 'surprise', 'reddit', 'user', 'atheist', 'death', 'end', 'afterlife', 'heaven', 'hell', 'fucking', 'virgin', 'whatever', 'impossible', 'fathom', 'pit', 'nothingness', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'wa', 'religious', 'id', 'le', 'scared', 'end', 'iti', 'wish', 'lot', 'thing', 'wish', 'close', 'friend', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'fucking', 'jerk', 'time', 'wish', 'cared', 'people', 'thing', 'general', 'wish', 'someone', 'care', 'heart', 'someone', 'cared', 'fucking', 'much', 'wouldnt', 'matter', 'shit', 'life', 'wa', 'someone', 'could', 'pull', 'fucking', 'nightmare', 'make', 'happy', 'againi', 'dont', 'see', 'howi', 'amgonna', 'make', 'end', 'high', 'school', 'let', 'alone', 'uni', 'let', 'along', 'fucking', 'adult', 'life', 'dont', 'fucking', 'care', 'anythingi', 'truly', 'honestly', 'want', 'kill', 'please', 'trust', 'ive', 'seeing', 'shrink', 'amgonna', 'see', 'local', 'gp', 'getting', 'antidepression', 'med', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'thing', 'gonna', 'help', 'long', 'run', 'maybe', 'theyll', 'get', 'couple', 'year', 'maybe', 'theyll', 'lay', 'path', 'getting', 'decent', 'atar', 'fuck', 'gonna', 'keep', 'going', 'wheni', 'ama', 'lonely', 'friendless', 'cunt', 'shitty', 'rundown', 'apartment', 'somewhere', 'noose', 'around', 'neck', 'flimsy', 'chair', 'underneath', 'cause', 'thats', 'see', 'life', 'ending', 'pill', 'notso', 'guess', 'thats', 'really', 'bit', 'weird', 'rambly', 'sort', 'rant', 'rather', 'question', 'guess', 'fuck', 'dont', 'carei', 'amdepressed', 'also', 'please', 'dont', 'give', 'bullshit', 'ive', 'got', 'long', 'life', 'head', 'whatever', 'cause', 'thats', 'kinda', 'problem', 'dont', 'wanna', 'live', 'long', 'life', 'gonna', 'shit', 'tier', 'garbage', 'whole', 'time', 'peacequick', 'editi', 'going', 'bit', 'wont', 'able', 'answer', 'message', 'tommorow', 'probably', 'cya']
227
['cant', 'anything', 'right', 'moment', 'woke', 'cried', 'driving', 'crazy', 'contemplating', 'die', 'thinking', 'talk', 'psychiatrist', 'could', 'hopefully', 'od', 'sister', 'yell', 'telling', 'cant', 'nothing', 'right', 'took', 'hour', 'convince', 'wa', 'happy', 'believed', 'wa', 'going', 'go', 'trip', 'something', 'exciting', 'sister', 'come', 'telling', 'cant', 'nothing', 'right', 'cant', 'home', 'anymore', 'get', 'yelled', 'thought', 'head', 'one', 'thing', 'someone', 'else', 'say', 'load', 'must', 'true', 'thinking', 'quitting', 'everything', 'life', 'cant', 'anything']
61
['trapped', 'desperate', 'bipolar', 'soi', 'amfamiliar', 'rollercoaster', 'mood', 'swing', 'med', 'feel', 'suffocated', 'passing', 'daylikei', 'amtrapped', 'corner', 'one', 'way', 'urge', 'die', 'strong', 'violence', 'feeling', 'scare', 'feel', 'likei', 'going', 'crazy', 'likei', 'going', 'something', 'drastic', 'get', 'cornerwhat', 'someone', 'please', 'help']
36
['amjust', 'tired', 'playing', 'another', 'round', 'dont', 'initiate', 'conversation', 'talk', 'anyone', 'unless', 'talk', 'first', 'result', 'havent', 'spoken', 'friend', 'family', 'two', 'week', 'counting', 'never', 'realized', 'desperate', 'wa', 'human', 'interaction', 'realizedi', 'amthe', 'one', 'keeping', 'relationship', 'soon', 'stop', 'trying', 'like', 'never', 'existed', 'themmy', 'job', 'unfulfilling', 'sort', 'nightmare', 'first', 'made', 'dread', 'entering', 'workforce', 'thati', 'amthere', 'money', 'expense', 'mental', 'health', 'thing', 'afford', 'spend', 'money', 'rent', 'bill', 'etc', 'cycle', 'pointlessnessi', 'dont', 'health', 'insurance', 'aware', 'sliding', 'scale', 'type', 'therapy', 'option', 'area', 'basically', 'lived', 'counseling', 'center', 'college', 'hope', 'id', 'better', 'adjusted', 'got', 'much', 'didnt', 'like', 'id', 'make', 'something', 'new', 'get', 'back', 'however', 'many', 'session', 'ran', 'wasnt', 'healthy', 'ten', 'year', 'amfinally', 'realizing', 'thati', 'get', 'work', 'two', 'hour', 'could', 'finally', 'embrace', 'inevitable', 'never', 'go', 'work', 'thinki', 'amready', 'never', 'wake', 'againi', 'tired']
120
['anxiety', 'ha', 'gotten', 'best', 'wont', 'allow', 'anything', 'want', 'think', 'go', 'wrong', 'let', 'everyone', 'downi', 'ama', 'yo', 'guy', 'thats', 'fairly', 'good', 'shape', 'decent', 'jobi', 'ama', 'musician', 'feel', 'likei', 'ampretty', 'sociable', 'ive', 'gone', 'date', 'year', 'minute', 'start', 'feel', 'close', 'back', 'away', 'becausei', 'amto', 'afraid', 'ruin', 'good', 'thing', 'havent', 'intimate', 'year', 'feel', 'likei', 'amgetting', 'better', 'often', 'look', 'life', 'realize', 'much', 'waste', 'space', 'live', 'south', 'florida', 'everyones', 'worried', 'irma', 'hope', 'take', 'least', 'family', 'doesnt', 'hear']
71
['everyday', 'something', 'come', 'make', 'worse', 'cant', 'deal', 'way', 'life', 'set', 'disorder', 'existing', 'find', 'new', 'thing', 'time', 'make', 'worse', 'want', 'life', 'unhappy', 'herei', 'cant', 'take', 'medication', 'wish', 'parent', 'given', 'medication', 'wa', 'little', 'would', 'betteri', 'cant', 'make', 'keep', 'real', 'friend', 'mentally', 'unable', 'true', 'friendshipi', 'sick', 'hereregular', 'human', 'behavior', 'legitimately', 'freak', 'feel', 'wrong', 'scared', 'everyoneim', 'happy', 'work', 'feel', 'desperate', 'friendship', 'attention', 'distracted', 'restrict', 'workingi', 'want', 'happy', 'little', 'machine', 'instead', 'someone', 'b', 'emotional', 'need']
70
['like', 'ive', 'posted', 'time', 'thing', 'shit', 'n', 'felt', 'like', 'dying', 'slightly', 'different', 'last', 'night', 'wa', 'convinced', 'wa', 'going', 'kill', 'plan', 'mean', 'wa', 'minute', 'away', 'emailed', 'teacher', 'mean', 'great', 'deal', 'saying', 'wa', 'sorry', 'support', 'given', 'wa', 'privilege', 'sorry', 'couldnt', 'keep', 'going', 'emailed', 'back', 'almost', 'instantly', 'giving', 'number', 'support', 'line', 'course', 'forwarded', 'email', 'onto', 'higher', 'member', 'staff', 'contacted', 'parent', 'morning', 'didnt', 'kill', 'last', 'night', 'obviously', 'friend', 'pretty', 'much', 'kept', 'car', 'promised', 'wouldnt', 'wa', 'asked', 'go', 'school', 'today', 'see', 'teacher', 'told', 'spent', 'entire', 'night', 'absolutely', 'sobbing', 'sleep', 'heart', 'fucking', 'broke', 'begged', 'go', 'doctor', 'tablet', 'back', 'counsellor', 'previous', 'experience', 'counsellor', 'gone', 'follows', 'life', 'perfect', 'dont', 'need', 'counselling', 'even', 'herei', 'feel', 'like', 'fucking', 'shit', 'still', 'still', 'suicidal', 'going', 'kill', 'today', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'broke', 'fucking', 'heart', 'hearing', 'go', 'doctor', 'get', 'kicked', 'school', 'like', 'senior', 'member', 'staff', 'trying', 'cant', 'keep', 'living', 'life', 'purely', 'survival', 'enjoyment']
139
['call', 'police', 'best', 'friend', 'tell', 'want', 'commit', 'suicide']
8
['depressed', 'sick', 'loser', 'want', 'quit', 'cant', 'figure']
7
['bad', 'die', 'quite', 'damaged', 'find', 'joy', 'upon', 'upon', 'ppl', 'misfortune', 'long', 'deem', 'serious', 'enough', 'dont', 'care', 'anyone', 'even', 'worse', 'day', 'worst', 'sometimes', 'got', 'fixated', 'problem', 'resolve', 'time', 'cease', 'productive', 'functional', 'energy', 'pursue', 'thing', 'love', 'part', 'brain', 'make', 'excuse', 'every', 'opportunity', 'come', 'gone', 'many', 'got', 'trapped', 'past', 'future', 'ghost', 'yesteryear', 'prison', 'tomorrow', 'escape', 'past', 'demon', 'outrun', 'fate', 'thus', 'wanting', 'become', 'suicidal', 'ability', 'control', 'fate', 'ending', 'time', 'becomes', 'enticing', 'given', 'maybe', 'fate', 'ha', 'installed', 'kill', 'someday', 'hopefully', 'soon', 'enough', 'joke', 'though', 'wont', 'able', 'give', 'fuck', 'die', 'plane', 'existence', 'please', 'plane', 'consciousness', 'else', 'curse', 'sentient', 'eternity', 'would', 'suck', 'bad', 'false', 'willusion', 'freedom', 'one', 'worst', 'thing', 'imaginable', 'future', 'locked', 'fix', 'state', 'seem', 'change', 'one', 'see', 'wall', 'around', 'except', 'go', 'around', 'trying', 'find', 'way', 'tear', 'wall', 'impede', 'effort', 'realize', 'source', 'wall', 'long', 'wall', 'know', 'one', 'way', 'crash', 'opportunity', 'ha', 'presented', 'yet', 'yeah', 'yet', 'someday', 'form', 'gunit', 'hard', 'stay', 'positive', 'think', 'long', 'term', 'cant', 'see', 'horizon', 'actually', 'true', 'see', 'something', 'road', 'lead', 'rome', 'see', 'bullet', 'temple', 'head', 'see', 'end', 'road', 'nothing', 'want', 'get', 'bad', 'though', 'ramble', 'quite', 'bit', 'nobody', 'care', 'enough', 'basically', 'feel', 'lifeconsciousness', 'prison', 'want', 'way', 'nothing', 'interesting', 'precise', 'nothing', 'exciting', 'longer', 'think', 'anything', 'forever', 'people', 'keep', 'saying', 'life', 'gift', 'say', 'fuck', 'one', 'true', 'gift', 'freedom', 'intrinsic', 'part', 'robbing', 'people', 'ability', 'end', 'life', 'cruelest', 'cruel', 'crime']
211
['want', 'badly', 'would', 'already', 'didnt', 'care', 'people', 'care', 'life', 'wa', 'never', 'great', 'least', 'wasnt', 'shiti', 'year', 'old', 'sophomore', 'college', 'studying', 'computer', 'engineering', 'major', 'fucking', 'garbage', 'dont', 'like', 'anything', 'guess', 'real', 'problem', 'started', 'month', 'ago', 'reality', 'lasted', 'year', 'basically', 'year', 'ago', 'stupid', 'shit', 'separate', 'occasion', 'tore', 'labrum', 'right', 'shoulder', 'well', 'jarred', 'back', 'ive', 'fixed', 'issue', 'shoulder', 'mostly', 'back', 'issue', 'persist', 'werent', 'bad', 'month', 'ago', 'really', 'started', 'pick', 'spent', 'whole', 'summer', 'lying', 'heating', 'pad', 'friend', 'enjoying', 'summer', 'going', 'beach', 'amusement', 'park', 'ive', 'tried', 'get', 'help', 'back', 'avail', 'say', 'muscle', 'strain', 'fucking', 'bullshit', 'dad', 'doctor', 'also', 'doesnt', 'believe', 'year', 'old', 'serious', 'back', 'problem', 'least', 'thats', 'tell', 'tell', 'mom', 'behind', 'back', 'probably', 'spondylosis', 'incurable', 'back', 'disorderi', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'done', 'cry', 'sleep', 'every', 'night', 'wishing', 'wa', 'dead', 'quality', 'day', 'based', 'back', 'feel', 'grandmafriendly', 'isometric', 'exercise', 'ive', 'week', 'supposed', 'help', 'back', 'pain', 'worthless', 'wa', 'happy', 'healthy', 'year', 'ago', 'ive', 'lost', 'least', 'pound', 'spend', 'day', 'wondering', 'bother', 'trying', 'continue', 'love', 'family', 'much', 'kill', 'still', 'seems', 'worth', 'wheni', 'amat', 'worst', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'talk', 'want', 'lay', 'heating', 'pad', 'pas', 'away', 'quietly', 'night']
175
['donei', 'amover', 'want', 'live', 'anymorei', 'tired', 'trying', 'best', 'life', 'seems', 'constantly', 'deal', 'shit', 'hand', 'first', 'became', 'depressed', 'wa', 'went', 'secondary', 'school', 'depression', 'various', 'amount', 'different', 'people', 'bullied', 'finished', 'school', 'thought', 'would', 'get', 'better', 'new', 'door', 'open', 'life', 'feel', 'like', 'copious', 'amount', 'shit', 'come', 'id', 'always', 'reason', 'depressed', 'cut', 'year', 'ago', 'last', 'summer', 'wa', 'hard', 'wa', 'shit', 'year', 'best', 'part', 'year', 'wa', 'went', 'music', 'festival', 'id', 'taken', 'fair', 'amount', 'drug', 'festival', 'got', 'home', 'family', 'comedown', 'wa', 'intense', 'made', 'living', 'home', 'real', 'shit', 'week', 'week', 'didnt', 'get', 'better', 'festival', 'blue', 'real', 'thing', 'mixed', 'comedown', 'already', 'underlying', 'depression', 'wa', 'nice', 'combo', 'relationship', 'parent', 'deteriorated', 'lot', 'wa', 'brink', 'becoming', 'homeless', 'moved', 'parent', 'house', 'wa', 'become', 'homeless', 'eventually', 'commit', 'suicide', 'moved', 'friend', 'incredible', 'couple', 'month', 'thing', 'went', 'south', 'housemate', 'wa', 'lot', 'tension', 'lot', 'argument', 'peep', 'move', 'everythings', 'great', 'ive', 'never', 'actually', 'good', 'home', 'situation', 'adult', 'life', 'dont', 'feel', 'particularly', 'depressed', 'sure', 'bit', 'nothing', 'ive', 'experienced', 'previously', 'hate', 'world', 'hate', 'specie', 'hate', 'existence', 'whole', 'world', 'driven', 'money', 'life', 'gonna', 'fucking', 'terrible', 'without', 'iti', 'amdone', 'working', 'shit', 'job', 'bog', 'standard', 'money', 'getting', 'shit', 'left', 'right', 'centre', 'boss', 'want', 'life', 'amount', 'something', 'know', 'never', 'cant', 'even', 'find', 'man', 'thats', 'attracted', 'want', 'mei', 'amfinding', 'harder', 'harder', 'everyday', 'come', 'reason', 'carry', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'upset', 'family', 'thought', 'break', 'heart', 'amphysically', 'mentally', 'tired', 'trying', 'fight', 'battle', 'year', 'family', 'dont', 'deserve', 'death', 'daughter', 'friend', 'dont', 'deserve', 'death', 'friend', 'cant', 'carry', 'wayi', 'sorry', 'long', 'cant', 'tell', 'anyone']
234
['spent', 'last', 'night', 'thinking', 'killing', 'throwaway', 'account', 'obvious', 'reason', 'dont', 'know', 'wrong', 'keep', 'episode', 'go', 'happy', 'interacting', 'people', 'normally', 'terriblewell', 'dont', 'know', 'call', 'dark', 'place', 'mind', 'go', 'feel', 'like', 'sitting', 'echo', 'chamber', 'every', 'single', 'selfdestructive', 'thought', 'ever', 'hurled', 'go', 'talking', 'normally', 'people', 'convinced', 'everybody', 'hate', 'tolerate', 'cant', 'say', 'face', 'maybe', 'minute', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'come', 'flooding', 'kill', 'nobody', 'care', 'death', 'make', 'everybody', 'happy', 'wont', 'deal', 'last', 'night', 'wa', 'longest', 'episode', 'yet', 'lasted', 'well', 'today', 'morning', 'meaning', 'unable', 'work', 'add', 'onto', 'stress', 'episode', 'like', 'talked', 'big', 'sister', 'one', 'people', 'would', 'trust', 'enough', 'something', 'like', 'didnt', 'tell', 'wa', 'suicidal', 'thoughthis', 'morning', 'told', 'told', 'remember', 'dump', 'time', 'time', 'well', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'go', 'along', 'response', 'wa', 'disgusting', 'people', 'think', 'ending', 'life', 'reason', 'dont', 'know', 'posting', 'expecting', 'happen', 'know', 'spent', 'last', 'night', 'hell', 'trapped', 'mind', 'way', 'one', 'talk', 'scared', 'next', 'episode', 'come', 'along', 'last', 'night', 'wa', 'also', 'closest', 'came', 'actually', 'jumpingplease', 'somebody', 'help']
147
['dont', 'really', 'anything', 'live', 'harvey', 'lost', 'job', 'car', 'damaged', 'place', 'wa', 'staying', 'havent', 'relationship', 'since', 'high', 'school', 'something', 'like', 'eight', 'year', 'mostly', 'wa', 'homeless', 'also', 'issuesive', 'never', 'done', 'one', 'thing', 'ive', 'never', 'seen', 'point', 'like', 'complaining', 'internet', 'change', 'anything', 'ive', 'seen', 'tends', 'equivalent', 'prayer', 'hope', 'know', 'sound', 'cynical', 'pointi', 'ampretty', 'jaded', 'come', 'lifeim', 'exhausted', 'drained', 'willeveryone', 'keep', 'telling', 'itll', 'get', 'better', 'also', 'doe', 'always', 'come', 'people', 'life', 'least', 'somewhat', 'togetheri', 'dont', 'expect', 'anything', 'come', 'figure', 'least', 'give', 'shotin', 'case', 'wondering', 'feel', 'better', 'venting', 'feel', 'little', 'ashamed']
86
['time', 'die', 'guess', 'ha', 'long', 'year']
6
['fatherinlaw', 'committed', 'suicide', 'morning', 'wa', 'health', 'issue', 'shot', 'front', 'yardi', 'looking', 'advice', 'tell', 'daughter', 'age', 'knew', 'wa', 'poor', 'health', 'tell', 'truth', 'would', 'wrong', 'lie', 'say', 'passed', 'away', 'due', 'health', 'issue']
30
['hate', 'hate', 'ami', 'hate', 'hate', 'bad', 'everything', 'hate', 'little', 'mean', 'anyone', 'including', 'hate', 'one', 'step', 'away', 'killing', 'seem', 'stepi', 'hate']
20
['boy', 'cried', 'wolf', 'f', 'mom', 'got', 'fight', 'told', 'felt', 'like', 'sister', 'wa', 'favored', 'told', 'dad', 'texted', 'wanted', 'die', 'shes', 'sent', 'psych', 'ward', 'know', 'made', 'worse', 'say', 'send', 'away', 'psych', 'ward', 'said', 'dont', 'care', 'one', 'else', 'family', 'thati', 'amselfish', 'difficult', 'told', 'ifi', 'amthat', 'much', 'burden', 'gone', 'told', 'mei', 'amthe', 'boy', 'cried', 'wolf', 'thati', 'amsaying', 'manipulate', 'guess', 'boy', 'cried', 'wolf', 'dead', 'maybe', 'soon', 'ifi', 'amlucky', 'prove', 'mom', 'thati', 'lying', 'stayed', 'alive', 'itd', 'worsei', 'amsick', 'life', 'everything', 'sohey', 'noti', 'amjust', 'born', 'burden', 'everyone', 'around', 'dont', 'even', 'see', 'grow', 'career', 'want', 'dont', 'say', 'usually', 'say', 'ive', 'already', 'heard', 'future', 'dont', 'kill', 'stay', 'strong', 'deal', 'thingsi', 'amgoddamn', 'tired', 'wa', 'actually', 'anything', 'live', 'wouldnt', 'feel', 'way']
110
['wish', 'could', 'live', 'inside', 'suicidewatch', 'subreddit', 'said']
7
['amdone', 'school', 'making', 'want', 'die', 'depressed', 'year', 'already', 'wa', 'hospital', 'week', 'school', 'care', 'life', 'pointless', 'anywayi', 'understanding', 'people', 'smoke', 'cigarette', 'hoping', 'get', 'lung', 'cancer', 'one', 'day', 'maybe']
27
['hopeless', 'isnt', 'dont', 'need', 'alive', 'longeri', 'dont', 'believe', 'problem', 'youth', 'ive', 'depressed', 'almost', 'year', 'ive', 'reached', 'limit', 'ive', 'thought', 'way', 'end', 'without', 'hurting', 'people', 'love', 'isnt', 'one', 'realising', 'crushed', 'choice', 'either', 'sit', 'hell', 'finally', 'end', 'pain', 'feel', 'every', 'day', 'dont', 'think', 'anyone', 'understand', 'realising', 'couldnt', 'kill', 'without', 'hurting', 'people', 'love', 'mean', 'someone', 'suffering', 'like', 'know', 'much', 'hurt', 'worse', 'hitting', 'rock', 'bottom', 'rock', 'bottom', 'one', 'way', 'go', 'thats', 'feel', 'hitting', 'rock', 'bottom', 'try', 'go', 'tear', 'family', 'apart', 'accepted', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'going', 'yet', 'reading', 'give', 'love', 'mostly', 'worthless', 'know', 'left', 'give']
90
['moving', 'tomorrow', 'dont', 'care', 'dont', 'home', 'job', 'live', 'saving', 'apply', 'job', 'going', 'thing', 'way', 'anymore']
15
['need', 'someone', 'talk', 'dont', 'single', 'person', 'speak', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'day', 'every', 'day']
12
['sober', 'money', 'weed', 'thats', 'keeping', 'going', 'last', 'year', 'ive', 'self', 'medicating', 'weed', 'wheni', 'amhighi', 'ama', 'completely', 'different', 'person', 'happy', 'even', 'month', 'though', 'either', 'smoke', 'pay', 'rent', 'dont', 'know', 'would', 'worse', 'suicide', 'homelessness']
32
['embarrased', 'parent', 'parent', 'ever', 'told', 'theyre', 'embarrased', 'call', 'child', 'well', 'mine', 'wa', 'still', 'living', 'roof', 'struggle', 'hurting', 'else', 'live', 'swear', 'sometimesi', 'amborderline', 'close', 'ending', 'act', 'impulsive', 'sometimes', 'idea', 'get', 'really', 'farri', 'ami', 'sensitive', 'mean', 'normal', 'parent', 'say', 'id', 'call', 'mom', 'face', 'one', 'minute', 'shes', 'love', 'amher', 'favorite', 'son', 'front', 'company', 'shell', 'talk', 'mad', 'shit', 'like', 'wtf', 'send', 'psychiatric', 'insititude', 'like', 'said', 'living', 'hurting', 'fell', 'worst', 'hell', 'high', 'blood', 'pressure', 'sometimes', 'yell', 'pillow', 'till', 'almost', 'pas', 'bad', 'dont', 'know', 'el', 'release', 'angry', 'pain', 'also', 'smashed', 'head', 'thing', 'idk', 'man', 'need', 'help', 'thanks']
91
['anything', 'live', 'dont', 'know', 'really', 'hard', 'carry', 'oni', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'amscared', 'everything', 'cant', 'leave', 'house', 'speak', 'anyone', 'without', 'anxiety', 'attack', 'school', 'spiral', 'thought', 'leading', 'darkness', 'people', 'say', 'care', 'really', 'make', 'self', 'feel', 'bad', 'pretending', 'sympathise', 'people', 'say', 'care', 'please', 'dont', 'make', 'feel', 'worse', 'feel', 'like', 'clue', 'feel', 'dont', 'know', 'like', 'try', 'speak', 'people', 'seek', 'help', 'tell', 'problemsi', 'ammet', 'phrase', 'people', 'like', 'see', 'cry', 'helpand', 'really', 'yes', 'cry', 'help', 'course', 'else', 'would', 'muster', 'enough', 'bravery', 'speak', 'instead', 'crush', 'little', 'confidence', 'telling', 'everyone', 'know', 'look', 'cut', 'depressed', 'way', 'fakewheni', 'amtold', 'itll', 'get', 'better', 'cant', 'believe', 'life', 'get', 'worse', 'every', 'day', 'family', 'hate', 'ha', 'told', 'biggest', 'mistake', 'parent', 'wa', 'child', 'hurt', 'threaten', 'physically', 'emotionally', 'really', 'two', 'thing', 'keeping', 'going', 'one', 'get', 'drown', 'sorrow', 'gin', 'others', 'hope', 'mind', 'family', 'fake', 'friend', 'sad', 'ifi', 'amgone']
130
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281
['still', 'cutting', 'lost', 'hope', 'future', 'without', 'pain', 'depression', 'loss', 'say', 'get', 'better', 'doesnt', 'left', 'high', 'school', 'depressed', 'alone', 'got', 'worse', 'threw', 'future', 'away', 'day', 'let', 'mother', 'slip', 'away', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'nothing', 'ha', 'helped', 'since', 'ive', 'picked', 'smoking', 'dont', 'care', 'die', 'today', 'want', 'free', 'guilt', 'pain', 'held', 'onto', 'many', 'yearsi', 'asking', 'sympathy', 'want', 'story', 'told', 'even', 'reddit', 'thread', 'want', 'people', 'know', 'life', 'isnt', 'fair', 'isnt', 'easy', 'day', 'better', 'day', 'worst', 'ive', 'tried', 'kill', 'reminded', 'feeling', 'mother', 'hung', 'could', 'never', 'younger', 'sister', 'find', 'dead', 'way', 'surely', 'scare', 'way', 'ha', 'scarred', 'guess', 'whati', 'amasking', 'miracle', 'want', 'happy', 'family', 'future', 'like', 'dark', 'monster', 'always', 'behind', 'telling', 'mei', 'good', 'enough', 'dont', 'deserve', 'happiness', 'life', 'tldr', 'mum', 'killed', 'dad', 'died', 'cancer', 'year', 'orphaned', 'guilty', 'often', 'suicidal']
121
['one', 'sort', 'voice', 'head', 'voice', 'tell', 'stuff', 'like', 'stop', 'taking', 'med', 'get', 'extra', 'insentive', 'take', 'life', 'tell', 'doctor', 'certain', 'thing', 'alone', 'something', 'alot', 'people', 'getits', 'voice', 'per', 'se', 'rather', 'intrusive', 'thought', 'process', 'one', 'pop', 'like', 'tip', 'suggestion', 'outside', 'person', 'dont', 'actually', 'act', 'upon', 'thought', 'doesnt', 'stop', 'annoying']
47
['dont', 'belong', 'dont', 'belong', 'dont', 'want', 'dont', 'want', 'walk', 'earth', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'breathe', 'dont', 'want', 'talk', 'want', 'done', 'one', 'care', 'one', 'need', 'literally', 'one', 'sign', 'depression', 'fucking', 'clear', 'one', 'care', 'needed', 'dont', 'belong', 'belong', 'dirt', 'dont', 'understand', 'havent', 'killed', 'already', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amholding', 'cant', 'hold', 'anymore', 'trapped', 'inside', 'nightmare', 'cant', 'wake', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'depressed', 'dont', 'understand', 'ha', 'deserve', 'cruel', 'punishment', 'world', 'hate', 'body', 'hate', 'waking', 'every', 'morning', 'fucking', 'nightmare', 'cant', 'seem', 'wake', 'fromi', 'amtrapped', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'livei', 'amsick', 'tired', 'sick', 'tired', 'hate', 'getting', 'morning', 'face', 'enemy', 'world', 'many', 'say', 'suicide', 'cowardly', 'thats', 'case', 'consider', 'death', 'natural', 'selection', 'taking', 'course', 'veryone', 'excited', 'homecoming', 'meanwhile', 'cant', 'see', 'going', 'cant', 'see', 'alive', 'much', 'longer', 'need', 'escape', 'need', 'finally', 'peace', 'way', 'achieve', 'involves', 'locked', 'away', 'dirt', 'sign', 'cry', 'helpi', 'amworried', 'shoved', 'back', 'mental', 'hospital', 'cant', 'deal', 'mom', 'constantly', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'medical', 'bill', 'family', 'visitation', 'kept', 'calling', 'selfish', 'wanting', 'kill', 'mom', 'made', 'many', 'empty', 'promise', 'felt', 'like', 'could', 'get', 'better', 'soon', 'got', 'shit', 'got', 'worse', 'first', 'thought', 'wa', 'medication', 'know', 'antidepressant', 'make', 'depression', 'worse', 'first', 'nowi', 'amjust', 'convinced', 'thati', 'amincurable', 'sick', 'neverending', 'cycle', 'waking', 'dragging', 'dayi', 'amalways', 'fucking', 'excited', 'go', 'asleepi', 'amexcited', 'escape', 'hour', 'dread', 'waking', 'feel', 'alone', 'feel', 'likei', 'amdrowning', 'cant', 'breathe', 'anymore', 'depression', 'eating', 'tearing', 'apart', 'demon', 'winning', 'think', 'want', 'win', 'cant', 'beat', 'jsut', 'wanna', 'fucking', 'die', 'dont', 'wanna', 'please', 'god', 'youre', 'real', 'please', 'take', 'cant', 'deal', 'breathing', 'anymore', 'cna', 'deal', 'sobbing', 'floor', 'deal', 'pushing', 'everyone', 'away', 'making', 'everyone', 'uncomfortable', 'joke', 'ab', 'ki', 'ign', 'ymself', 'wannn', 'go', 'h', 'ome', 'sadness', 'unbearableplease', 'fucking', 'hel', 'p', 'going', 'diei', 'sure', 'post', 'break', 'rule', 'whatever', 'gone', 'soon', 'anyways']
267
['want', 'badly', 'amafraid', 'surviving', 'really', 'want', 'kill', 'reasoni', 'still', 'alive', 'becausei', 'amafraid', 'messing', 'actually', 'surviving', 'live', 'method', 'access', 'arent', 'guaranteed', 'lethal', 'access', 'gun', 'dont', 'wouldnt', 'hesitate', 'second', 'keep', 'wanting', 'feel', 'like', 'know', 'like', 'little', 'bit', 'ive', 'trying', 'cut', 'lately', 'say', 'trying', 'ive', 'hidden', 'sharp', 'knife', 'easily', 'accessible', 'really', 'dull', 'serrated', 'knife', 'barely', 'break', 'skin', 'want', 'dead', 'ive', 'given', 'want', 'stop']
60
['suicide', 'keep', 'crossing', 'mind', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'form', 'advice', 'anyone', 'please', 'never', 'suicidal', 'depressed', 'person', 'life', 'last', 'year', 'keep', 'crossing', 'mind', 'thought', 'wa', 'pretty', 'close', 'circle', 'friend', 'work', 'today', 'one', 'called', 'greedy', 'suitable', 'mentality', 'kind', 'work', 'doesnt', 'want', 'hang', 'anymorei', 'dont', 'understand', 'done', 'wrong', 'buy', 'round', 'go', 'invite', 'dinner', 'place', 'still', 'get', 'shit', 'must', 'completely', 'delusional', 'behaviour', 'apparently', 'one', 'think', 'dont', 'know', 'behave', 'rest', 'anymore', 'leave', 'alone', 'keep', 'friendly', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'suicide', 'wont', 'leave', 'mindsorry', 'rambeling', 'actually', 'read', 'far', 'please', 'help']
82
['lonely', 'depressed', 'beyond', 'ability', 'cope', 'ive', 'felt', 'lonely', 'depressed', 'whole', 'life', 'recently', 'ive', 'feeling', 'lonely', 'depressed', 'ever', 'painful', 'feel', 'like', 'soul', 'getting', 'slaughtered', 'every', 'breathe', 'take', 'ive', 'thought', 'suicide', 'many', 'time', 'wa', 'always', 'scared', 'ive', 'always', 'feared', 'death', 'recentlyi', 'amfeeling', 'complete', 'oppositei', 'amfinding', 'idea', 'death', 'comforting', 'liberating', 'really', 'growing', 'thing', 'giving', 'comfort', 'knowing', 'possible', 'end', 'forever', 'turn', 'nothingi', 'ideally', 'would', 'like', 'live', 'pain', 'though', 'seriously', 'cant', 'think', 'way', 'cant', 'matter', 'way', 'look', 'tried', 'therapy', 'tried', 'drug', 'tried', 'yoga', 'tried', 'lot', 'thing', 'yeti', 'still', 'herei', 'idea', 'whyi', 'amwriting', 'want', 'without', 'drama', 'hell', 'sake', 'need', 'least', 'say', 'something', 'somewhere', 'pathetic', 'dont', 'even', 'friend', 'express', 'feeling', 'tomaybei', 'amcrazy', 'maybe', 'whati', 'amabsolutely', 'sure', 'thoughi', 'amhurting', 'lot', 'cope', 'idea', 'left', 'dothank', 'reading']
117
['week', 'man', 'felt', 'absolutely', 'dreadful', 'week', 'two', 'people', 'know', 'unconnected', 'tried', 'kill', 'though', 'luckily', 'failed', 'ive', 'drinking', 'significantly', 'every', 'day', 'shut', 'brain', 'bit', 'obviously', 'terrible', 'alcohol', 'depressant', 'mention', 'effect', 'depressedsuicidal', 'since', 'wa', 'year', 'ago', 'always', 'thought', 'wont', 'sake', 'family', 'friend', 'saidi', 'ammore', 'recently', 'coming', 'term', 'last', 'thread', 'family', 'falling', 'apart', 'friend', 'quite', 'involved', 'life', 'thats', 'fault', 'part', 'thing', 'going', 'rightly', 'looking', 'like', 'logical', 'decision', 'avoid', 'everincreasing', 'suffering', 'life', 'feel', 'like', 'emo', 'writing', 'self', 'worth', 'time', 'low', 'think', 'unless', 'something', 'drastic', 'change', 'shortly', 'theni', 'amprobably', 'going', 'jump', 'one', 'london', 'tall', 'building', 'see', 'ive', 'developed', 'flying', 'power', 'yet', 'nothing', 'seems', 'helped', 'thus', 'far', 'sheer', 'power']
103
['reason', 'reason', 'kid', 'bad', 'day', 'today', 'least', 'week', 'think', 'unfair', 'like', 'thats', 'pressure', 'shouldnt', 'bear', 'likei', 'amextra', 'anything', 'super', 'clingy', 'etc', 'one', 'know', 'seriously', 'consider', 'know', 'id', 'sought', 'help', 'wa', 'fucking', 'joke', 'missed', 'pay', 'week', 'felt', 'like', 'freak', 'amongst', 'friend', 'family', 'coworkersi', 'making', 'mistake', 'one', 'hand', 'feel', 'responsibility', 'reason', 'usually', 'feel', 'like', 'screwed', 'earlier', 'amonly', 'exacerbating', 'shit', 'remaining', 'idk', 'maybe', 'give', 'year', 'see', 'happens', 'lifeive', 'decent', 'period', 'year', 'large', 'life', 'ha', 'pile', 'mistake', 'bullshittldr', 'enough', 'live', 'someone', 'else']
78
['place', 'face', 'emotion', 'right', 'family', 'exppecting', 'go', 'back', 'house', 'socialize', 'people', 'ive', 'never', 'met', 'beforei', 'ama', 'city', 'away', 'college', 'starting', 'next', 'monday', 'hell', 'stressi', 'wish', 'people', 'could', 'understand', 'respect', 'personal', 'time', 'space', 'fault', 'suppose']
34
['feel', 'like', 'committing', 'suicide', 'even', 'thoughi', 'suicidal', 'first', 'place', 'fucking', 'hate', 'pain', 'whenever', 'get', 'really', 'depressive', 'state', 'god', 'forbid', 'lie', 'bed', 'three', 'fucking', 'hour', 'becausei', 'amon', 'period', 'know', 'see', 'doctor', 'want', 'get', 'fuck', 'dont', 'want', 'experience', 'ive', 'thinking', 'lately', 'maybei', 'amdepressed', 'thing', 'start', 'fucking', 'like', 'life', 'worth', 'living', 'ive', 'anger', 'issue', 'whole', 'life', 'everyone', 'wa', 'afraid', 'never', 'grew', 'shyness', 'never', 'formed', 'confidence', 'mom', 'fucking', 'die', 'wa', 'one', 'real', 'life', 'comfort', 'ive', 'hung', 'year', 'know', 'fucking', 'retarded', 'friend', 'unless', 'count', 'guy', 'talk', 'lunch', 'barely', 'know', 'internet', 'dream', 'got', 'crushed', 'wa', 'acting', 'like', 'fucking', 'idiot', 'idea', 'describe', 'event', 'way', 'people', 'understand', 'ability', 'talk', 'unfamiliar', 'people', 'look', 'like', 'normal', 'person', 'time', 'yeah', 'sure', 'maybei', 'going', 'tangent', 'much', 'life', 'ha', 'sucked', 'point', 'point', 'nothing', 'ever', 'fucking', 'bad', 'couldve', 'raped', 'pssh', 'dont', 'even', 'take', 'care', 'would', 'happen', 'couldve', 'born', 'family', 'thats', 'homeless', 'couldveyou', 'get', 'idea', 'damn', 'iti', 'dont', 'see', 'hope', 'future', 'could', 'waking', 'everyday', 'protruding', 'urge', 'kill', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'crap', 'want', 'start', 'new', 'damn', 'body', 'want', 'actually', 'build', 'assertiveness', 'timei', 'ama', 'stupid', 'fucking', 'pushover', 'hardly', 'anything', 'anymore', 'know', 'try', 'becoming', 'confident', 'start', 'high', 'school', 'kid', 'place', 'crowded', 'dont', 'fit', 'everyone', 'stupid', 'whats', 'pointim', 'going', 'fucking', 'commit', 'suicide', 'sure', 'hell', 'want', 'even', 'know', 'dont', 'feel', 'shittywho', 'writes', 'shit']
203
['amcertain', 'mind', 'made', 'last', 'five', 'six', 'day', 'seems', 'like', 'point', 'sooni', 'amprobably', 'going', 'die', 'ive', 'done', 'great', 'thing', 'past', 'couple', 'week', 'dont', 'feel', 'much', 'anything', 'anymore', 'despite', 'people', 'part', 'around', 'time', 'dont', 'feel', 'good', 'enough', 'neither', 'even', 'feel', 'alive', 'time', 'eitheri', 'amjust', 'watching', 'everything', 'unfold', 'bother', 'first', 'time', 'ive', 'wanted', 'commit', 'suicide', 'hesitated', 'attempt', 'sure', 'anymore', 'much', 'say', 'yeah', 'dont', 'know', 'ive', 'alone', 'life', 'past', 'month', 'ive', 'never', 'felt', 'alone', 'day', 'arent', 'even', 'relevant', 'anymore', 'one', 'thing', 'merges', 'next', 'really', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'anymore', 'either', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'wake', 'anymore']
90
['last', 'conversation', 'knew', 'werent', 'going', 'see', 'person', 'ever', 'could', 'one', 'last', 'conversation', 'would', 'say', 'would', 'tell', 'plan', 'kill', 'would', 'tell', 'going', 'long', 'trip', 'would', 'ghost']
25
['like', 'real', 'fuck', 'doe', 'even', 'mean', 'realinexistence', 'eternal', 'existence', 'dont', 'know', 'seems', 'like', 'loselose', 'everyone', 'else', 'act', 'happy', 'cheery', 'like', 'role', 'help', 'people', 'doesnt', 'fix', 'anything', 'u', 'themi', 'cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'know', 'nobody', 'world', 'doe', 'possibly', 'know', 'answer']
38
['believe', 'people', 'commit', 'suicide', 'bad', 'people', 'formerlly', 'bad', 'people', 'far', 'doe', 'forgiveness', 'go']
13
['amdonei', 'amgonna', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'wa', 'put', 'earth', 'keep', 'losing', 'much', 'pain', 'want', 'end', 'ever', 'wanted', 'wa', 'get', 'away', 'toxic', 'narcissistic', 'hateful', 'father', 'doesnt', 'care', 'cant', 'anymore']
27
['thinking', 'taking', 'whole', 'box', 'benadryl', 'best', 'friend', 'said', 'doesnt', 'want', 'speak', 'anymore', 'ever', 'wa', 'love', 'friend', 'continue', 'love', 'deeply', 'wa', 'thinking', 'waiting', 'couple', 'month', 'trying', 'dm', 'dont', 'think', 'wait', 'long', 'think', 'every', 'minute', 'think', 'want', 'kill', 'tell', 'maybe', 'give', 'contact', 'information', 'know', 'ask', 'want', 'attend', 'funeral', 'wonder', 'hell', 'even', 'read', 'message', 'really', 'dont', 'see', 'reason', 'time', 'ever', 'felt', 'truly', 'happy', 'time', 'wa', 'around', 'miss', 'much', 'ache']
66
['quicklyi', 'amlosing', 'motivation', 'keep', 'living', 'wrote', 'damn', 'essay', 'explaining', 'title', 'guess', 'happened', 'didnt', 'make', 'sense', 'cant', 'get', 'something', 'simple', 'writing', 'paragraph', 'existence', 'mistake', 'cant', 'anything', 'correctly']
26
['want', 'end', 'future', 'hard', 'going', 'school', 'social', 'anxiety', 'lasting', 'depression', 'get', 'bad', 'grade', 'idea', 'study', 'schooli', 'socialize', 'like', 'normal', 'people', 'dothe', 'thing', 'hurt', 'one', 'like', 'hate', 'way', 'lookeveryone', 'think', 'woman', 'straight', 'help']
32
['want', 'die', 'already', 'plan', 'since', 'got', 'hereditary', 'desease', 'kill', 'thinki', 'amjust', 'gonna', 'wait', 'refuse', 'go', 'hospital', 'cant', 'fail', 'hopefully', 'wont', 'take', 'many', 'monthsi', 'want', 'die', 'already', 'cant', 'remember', 'last', 'time', 'actually', 'enjoyed', 'alive', 'bet', 'ha', 'year', 'already', 'amjust', 'donei', 'really', 'hope', 'desease', 'enough', 'kill', 'dont', 'want', 'gamble', 'taking', 'blood', 'pressure', 'sleeping', 'pill', 'hope', 'kill']
54
['dont', 'feel', 'anything', 'anymorei', 'job', 'friendsi', 'ambition', 'anything', 'dont', 'personallity', 'dont', 'opinion', 'anything', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'ever', 'real', 'person', 'see', 'people', 'sub', 'actual', 'problem', 'make', 'feel', 'even', 'pathetici', 'sometimes', 'go', 'walk', 'late', 'night', 'hope', 'someone', 'beat', 'shit', 'guess', 'feel', 'like', 'itll', 'knock', 'back', 'reality']
44
['going', 'antidepressant', 'today', 'well', 'see', 'go', 'maybe', 'time', 'itll', 'help', 'wish', 'luck']
12
['havent', 'diagnosed', 'soi', 'going', 'go', 'sit', 'tell', 'depressed', 'online', 'quiz', 'told', 'feel', 'sad', 'feel', 'sad', 'sad', 'upsetting', 'event', 'happen', 'like', 'today', 'class', 'learned', 'suicide', 'religion', 'everyones', 'head', 'turned', 'immediately', 'began', 'sweat', 'lot', 'time', 'like', 'earlier', 'today', 'get', 'random', 'tsunami', 'even', 'wake', 'anymore', 'try', 'think', 'life', 'yenno', 'got', 'moved', 'new', 'therapist', 'far', 'ive', 'straight', 'lied', 'mental', 'wellbeing', 'like', 'dont', 'like', 'therapy', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'forced', 'going', 'want', 'e', 'course', 'usually', 'tell', 'people', 'much', 'live', 'spend', 'many', 'year', 'country', 'high', 'schooli', 'highschool', 'year', 'god', 'damn', 'depressingi', 'lonely', 'life', 'repeat', 'shit', 'day', 'day']
89
['dealprocess', 'one', 'thing', 'live', 'last', 'year', 'half', 'reason', 'living', 'son', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'around', 'clock', 'fear', 'going', 'paini', 'ambp', 'interacting', 'son', 'somethingi', 'amonly', 'able', 'short', 'period', 'tempo', 'overwhelming', 'brain', 'reason', 'dont', 'kill', 'bad', 'conscience', 'hed', 'grow', 'without', 'dad', 'ive', 'every', 'medication', 'combination', 'course', 'yearsi', 'amworn', 'downi', 'amexhausted', 'want', 'posting', 'please', 'beg', 'dont', 'whole', 'hang', 'itll', 'better', 'dont', 'respond', 'well', 'enough', 'medication', 'remaining', 'option', 'electro', 'treatment', 'deep', 'brain', 'stimulation', 'ha', 'chance', 'alter', 'memory', 'feeling', 'towards', 'last', 'barrierediti', 'son', 'year']
77
['wish', 'someone', 'would', 'told', 'wa', 'okay', 'live', 'everyday', 'life', 'empty', 'hope', 'little', 'joyi', 'school', 'going', 'finei', 'amworking', 'bare', 'minimum', 'wage', 'hate', 'job', 'hate', 'schooli', 'amslowly', 'starting', 'hate', 'life', 'workout', 'look', 'good', 'amjust', 'empty', 'inside', 'longer', 'even', 'want', 'friend', 'dont', 'friend', 'girl', 'f', 'want', 'money', 'family', 'give', 'love', 'support', 'still', 'empty', 'barely', 'understand', 'want', 'find', 'god', 'every', 'day', 'life', 'getting', 'f', 'bored', 'mind']
62
['cant', 'live', 'parent', 'expectation', 'theyre', 'wasting', 'time', 'money', 'effort', 'sending', 'college', 'providing', 'food', 'shelter', 'insurance', 'dont', 'even', 'motivation', 'make', 'something', 'anymore', 'ive', 'lied', 'let', 'failed', 'want', 'paid', 'money', 'get', 'corrective', 'surgery', 'stop', 'picking', 'hole', 'scalp', 'year', 'later', 'still', 'cant', 'fake', 'happiness', 'anymore', 'benefit', 'year', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'cant', 'ignore', 'fact', 'gender', 'identity', 'doesnt', 'match', 'sex', 'despite', 'frustrated', 'confused', 'make', 'cant', 'even', 'honest', 'use', 'different', 'name', 'outside', 'housei', 'sneak', 'around', 'without', 'knowledge', 'try', 'find', 'help', 'leaf', 'anxious', 'paranoid', 'getting', 'therapy', 'med', 'might', 'make', 'healthier', 'living', 'fear', 'wheni', 'amfound', 'push', 'everyone', 'away', 'leaf', 'parent', 'feeling', 'angry', 'hurt', 'theyre', 'best', 'want', 'live', 'long', 'possible', 'think', 'running', 'away', 'dying', 'cant', 'even', 'talk', 'parent', 'whati', 'going', 'thinki', 'amfaking', 'trying', 'manipulate', 'ha', 'never', 'case', 'right', 'calling', 'selfish', 'spoiled', 'ungrateful', 'dont', 'deserve', 'good', 'thing', 'theyve', 'done', 'meeven', 'outside', 'family', 'burden', 'people', 'problemsi', 'ameven', 'back', 'repeating', 'dont', 'know', 'besides', 'throw', 'issue', 'stranger', 'theyre', 'right', 'want', 'throw', 'pity', 'party', 'attentionmaybe', 'end', 'avoid', 'disappointing', 'everyone', 'one', 'big', 'mistake', 'instead', 'many', 'smaller', 'one', 'future', 'pile', 'weigh', 'preferably', 'new', 'school', 'quarter', 'start', 'thousand', 'dollar', 'arent', 'wasted']
173
['going', 'hopefully', 'next', 'month', 'turn', 'ive', 'made', 'post', 'absolutely', 'hate', 'idea', 'legally', 'becoming', 'adult', 'seriously', 'depressing', 'think', 'dont', 'want', 'grow', 'feel', 'like', 'none', 'u', 'physically', 'adult', 'till', 'sometimes', 'lateri', 'amalways', 'depressed', 'way', 'look', 'parent', 'people', 'around', 'miserable', 'try', 'talk', 'people', 'suicidal', 'tendency', 'almost', 'like', 'say', 'oh', 'thats', 'bad', 'thats', 'want', 'end', 'badly', 'really', 'need', 'help', 'please', 'time', 'want', 'someone', 'tell', 'something', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'also', 'neighbor', 'nightmare', 'thing', 'going', 'crap', 'lost', 'someone', 'really', 'close', 'heart', 'year', 'yearsorry', 'jumbled', 'post', 'amjust', 'scared', 'young', 'man', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'die', 'part', 'want', 'want', 'make', 'family', 'please', 'help', 'mejosh']
95
['cant', 'saved', 'ive', 'trying', 'fight', 'depression', 'finally', 'started', 'admitting', 'became', 'close', 'killing', 'therapist', 'medicationi', 'became', 'sick', 'go', 'hospital', 'awhile', 'surgery', 'wa', 'released', 'week', 'ago', 'failed', 'final', 'examswhich', 'made', 'fail', 'course', 'last', 'semesteri', 'move', 'back', 'home', 'couldnt', 'take', 'care', 'worki', 'despite', 'effortsi', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'go', 'right', 'matter', 'hard', 'try', 'something', 'go', 'wrongive', 'thinking', 'feeling', 'relief', 'ending', 'alli', 'cant', 'stop', 'picturing', 'itim', 'hopeless', 'failure', 'hurt', 'others']
65
['artist', 'end', 'line', 'past', 'year', 'ive', 'feeling', 'liike', 'mind', 'ha', 'declining', 'thing', 'start', 'feeling', 'hopeless', 'hopeless', 'broke', 'ex', 'last', 'year', 'turned', 'wa', 'abusive', 'manipulator', 'also', 'quit', 'retail', 'job', 'due', 'mental', 'emotional', 'stress', 'ive', 'trying', 'find', 'job', 'artist', 'field', 'either', 'character', 'designer', 'comicstoryboarder', 'nothing', 'come', 'application', 'meet', 'reasonable', 'ability', 'live', 'go', 'unanswered', 'dont', 'know', 'ive', 'told', 'connection', 'application', 'land', 'job', 'dont', 'god', 'know', 'ive', 'tried', 'reach', 'people', 'industry', 'look', 'never', 'get', 'response', 'wa', 'college', 'dropout', 'due', 'money', 'rejected', 'twice', 'desired', 'program', 'ive', 'kind', 'drifting', 'along', 'year', 'hope', 'get', 'noticed', 'offered', 'job', 'met', 'ex', 'year', 'wasted', 'time', 'money', 'couldve', 'used', 'towards', 'bettering', 'career', 'independence', 'feel', 'like', 'fuck', 'nothing', 'ever', 'work', 'pan', 'outi', 'still', 'living', 'parent', 'want', 'live', 'decent', 'job', 'amhaving', 'trouble', 'cant', 'even', 'fathom', 'idea', 'emotional', 'support', 'animal', 'becuasei', 'amterrified', 'end', 'ignoring', 'actual', 'trouble', 'rehome', 'get', 'sick', 'thati', 'amunable', 'anything', 'dont', 'know', 'ive', 'thought', 'killing', 'cant', 'becausei', 'scared', 'would', 'rather', 'peacefully', 'sleep', 'body', 'taunt', 'everyday', 'waking', 'sin', 'take', 'one', 'owns', 'life', 'god', 'eye', 'want', 'fucking', 'job', 'art', 'career', 'field', 'dream', 'dont', 'know', 'even', 'fucking', 'ive', 'tried', 'help', 'nothing', 'came', 'one', 'give', 'additonal', 'help', 'get', 'closer', 'goal', 'feel', 'like', 'everything', 'waste', 'another', 'reason', 'guess', 'havent', 'gone', 'killed', 'beautiful', 'sweetest', 'ldr', 'partner', 'want', 'meet', 'person', 'someday', 'getting', 'hard', 'man', 'dont', 'know', 'anymorei', 'amterrified', 'parent', 'going', 'home', 'anywhere', 'else', 'fall', 'back', 'oni', 'amterrified', 'failure', 'rest', 'life']
221
['last', 'day', 'hate', 'person', 'wa', 'even', 'born', 'never', 'ask', 'place', 'world', 'wa', 'always', 'going', 'sad', 'lonly', 'personi', 'amnever', 'good', 'anything', 'thingi', 'amgood', 'cutting', 'feel', 'thati', 'still', 'life', 'die', 'would', 'even', 'bother', 'cry', 'cuz', 'life', 'dont', 'even', 'ask', 'howi', 'ami', 'think', 'like', 'happy', 'world', 'wich', 'living', 'dark', 'tunnel', 'able', 'go', 'want', 'close', 'eye', 'never', 'wake', 'life', 'miserable', 'life', 'live']
58
['fucking', 'lonely', 'cant', 'stand', 'anymore', 'know', 'thati', 'amsupposed', 'want', 'spend', 'time', 'love', 'whatever', 'dont', 'hate', 'hate', 'spending', 'time', 'alone', 'myselfand', 'much', 'time', 'spent', 'alone', 'dont', 'many', 'friend', 'dont', 'know', 'talk', 'people', 'class', 'campus', 'get', 'way', 'anxious', 'never', 'know', 'sayso', 'dont', 'say', 'anything', 'suddenly', 'week', 'class', 'everyone', 'ha', 'made', 'friend', 'class', 'late', 'tryi', 'dont', 'know', 'day', 'spend', 'alone', 'thought', 'another', 'day', 'closer', 'finally', 'offing', 'cant', 'stand', 'emptiness', 'one', 'want', 'around', 'becausei', 'ambad', 'conversation', 'amuncomfortably', 'awkwardi', 'dont', 'want', 'around', 'either', 'get', 'whyi', 'amalone', 'faced', 'long', 'day', 'night', 'alone', 'room', 'ive', 'already', 'seriously', 'contemplated', 'killing', 'two', 'night', 'week', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'anyone', 'reach', 'woudnt', 'concerned', 'pissed', 'dont', 'want', 'leave', 'room', 'ive', 'already', 'campus', 'since', 'pm', 'class', 'pretty', 'bad', 'social', 'anxiety', 'soi', 'amfucking', 'exhaustedi', 'dont', 'know', 'donothing', 'distracts', 'like', 'need', 'guess', 'try', 'sleep', 'thats', 'anymore', 'never', 'help', 'stay', 'asleep', 'hour', 'time', 'wake', 'feel', 'sad', 'becausei', 'amawake', 'againim', 'sorry', 'thati', 'amwhiningits', 'feel', 'backed', 'corner', 'every', 'day', 'damn', 'life', 'really', 'want', 'end', 'today']
157
['really', 'option', 'see', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'like', 'easier', 'option', 'becausei', 'going', 'happy', 'regardless', 'feel', 'bad', 'daughter', 'grow', 'without', 'smart', 'brilliant', 'beautiful', 'ha', 'best', 'father', 'one', 'could', 'ask', 'shes', 'still', 'little', 'wont', 'impact', 'much', 'everything', 'wanted', 'whole', 'life', 'actually', 'dont', 'want', 'dont', 'want', 'husband', 'cant', 'handle', 'parent', 'want', 'career', 'give', 'everything', 'beyond', 'thats', 'possible', 'like', 'wa', 'becausei', 'amtrapped', 'leave', 'behind', 'think', 'happiness', 'would', 'short', 'lived', 'spouse', 'doesnt', 'capability', 'understand', 'need', 'never', 'good', 'therapist', 'agrees', 'insensitive', 'never', 'experienced', 'mental', 'health', 'issue', 'day', 'battle', 'fair', 'daughter', 'miserable', 'time', 'sooner', 'better', 'get', 'attached']
89
['sibling', 'told', 'kill', 'seriously', 'might', 'last', 'straw']
7
['service', 'suicidal', 'people', 'london', 'doe', 'anyone', 'know', 'good', 'one', 'know', 'samaritan', 'maytree', 'respite', 'centre', 'e', 'anyone', 'know', 'ha', 'anyone', 'turned', 'place', 'worship', 'help', 'suicidal', 'muslim', 'dont', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'going', 'imam', 'feel', 'like', 'know', 'fuck', 'mental', 'willness', 'come', 'across', 'service', 'mosque', 'nh', 'trust', 'work', 'together', 'side', 'london', 'called', 'duha', 'project', 'anyone', 'interested', 'based', 'east', 'london', 'mosque']
55
['venting', 'love', 'life', 'love', 'every', 'single', 'breath', 'love', 'truly', 'dearly', 'living', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'like', 'feeling', 'palm', 'god', 'caressing', 'head', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'like', 'celebration', 'beauty', 'life', 'life', 'pleasure', 'constant', 'surprise', 'life', 'beautifulbut', 'shall', 'longer', 'part', 'schizophrenia', 'hurt', 'people', 'time', 'without', 'knowing', 'living', 'willness', 'hard', 'med', 'thing', 'think', 'good', 'go', 'kitchen', 'pick', 'bottle', 'pill', 'consume', 'dont', 'even', 'fucking', 'care', 'hate', 'much', 'hate', 'world', 'alive', 'like', 'trapped', 'limbo', 'soul', 'bound', 'earth', 'soul', 'cannot', 'escape', 'scream', 'want', 'end', 'want', 'every', 'single', 'evil', 'world', 'focus', 'destroy', 'want', 'calm', 'want', 'patient', 'want', 'able', 'breathe', 'last', 'breath', 'life', 'wind', 'die', 'want', 'damn', 'much', 'dont', 'care', 'family', 'dont', 'care', 'friend', 'better', 'without', 'hate', 'much', 'hate', 'hate', 'hate', 'hate', 'hate', 'hate', 'fucking', 'want', 'go', 'away', 'want', 'disappear', 'want', 'bug', 'consume', 'rot', 'soil', 'want', 'one', 'skeleton', 'want', 'skeleton', 'scattered', 'want', 'one', 'called', 'upon', 'last', 'judgement', 'please', 'please', 'someone', 'end']
141
['point', 'something', 'really', 'stupid', 'could', 'get', 'lot', 'trouble', 'get', 'troublei', 'amdefinitely', 'overdosing', 'intentionally', 'id', 'rather', 'get', 'detail', 'nothing', 'horrible', 'get', 'trouble', 'could', 'potentially', 'ruin', 'lifeim', 'drug', 'addict', 'homeless', 'day', 'halfway', 'house', 'kick', 'ive', 'like', 'psych', 'ward', 'go', 'wish', 'could', 'stay', 'forever', 'dont', 'kill', 'always', 'discharge', 'really', 'fast', 'drug', 'history', 'act', 'like', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'normal', 'day', 'believe', 'mental', 'institution', 'lifewhatever', 'ha', 'better', 'ha', 'get', 'trouble', 'excuse', 'go', 'peacefully', 'heroin', 'induced', 'suicidei', 'going', 'bald', 'stress', 'imagine', 'hair', 'want', 'diei', 'talk', 'woman', 'even', 'interested', 'id', 'rather', 'watch', 'porn', 'suffer', 'misery', 'get', 'social', 'interaction', 'act', 'happy', 'keep', 'talking', 'meim', 'writing', 'hoping', 'thing', 'look', 'soon', 'easy', 'option']
102
['suicide', 'logical', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'since', 'age', 'sixi', 'amsuccessful', 'accepted', 'transwoman', 'amazing', 'independent', 'working', 'job', 'love', 'everyday', 'feel', 'like', 'suicide', 'logical', 'suicide', 'painless', 'eas', 'stress', 'allows', 'rest', 'yes', 'suicide', 'permanent', 'know', 'stress', 'temporary', 'tired', 'constant', 'cycle', 'fighting', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'suck', 'first', 'thought', 'pulling', 'traffic', 'jam', 'way', 'slam', 'trick', 'without', 'harming', 'others', 'suck', 'brain', 'jump', 'suicide', 'regardless', 'situationi', 'tired', 'fighting', 'thought', 'feel', 'like', 'thought', 'destined', 'win', 'keep', 'trying', 'identify', 'little', 'thing', 'live', 'nothing', 'really', 'matter', 'long', 'term', 'could', 'die', 'world', 'continue', 'go', 'one', 'le', 'waste', 'life', 'plan', 'scare']
87
['say', 'end', 'soon', 'torture', 'process']
5
['thought', 'college', 'would', 'make', 'thing', 'betteri', 'amaway', 'college', 'nothing', 'back', 'home', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'able', 'escape', 'abusive', 'home', 'life', 'trauma', 'related', 'molested', 'kid', 'dance', 'dance', 'teacher', 'became', 'father', 'wish', 'got', 'mentor', 'along', 'way', 'even', 'met', 'bill', 'clinton', 'one', 'performance', 'wa', 'front', 'hundred', 'people', 'also', 'got', 'perform', 'madison', 'square', 'garden', 'dont', 'get', 'wrong', 'life', 'wa', 'still', 'hard', 'still', 'wanted', 'kill', 'started', 'fall', 'love', 'summer', 'wont', 'talk', 'anymore', 'closure', 'wa', 'never', 'given', 'concrete', 'reason', 'wa', 'first', 'boy', 'ive', 'met', 'ha', 'treated', 'deserve', 'treated', 'different', 'country', 'hurt', 'think', 'amwearing', 'necklace', 'wore', 'right', 'thing', 'make', 'feel', 'safe', 'sometimes', 'also', 'lost', 'control', 'started', 'harming', 'summer', 'nobody', 'know', 'even', 'though', 'know', 'good', 'idea', 'get', 'help', 'reporting', 'mean', 'college', 'debt', 'suffering', 'hand', 'family', 'longer', 'soi', 'trying', 'power', 'getting', 'help', 'wa', 'rational', 'option', 'would', 'go', 'go', 'college', 'great', 'dont', 'regularly', 'interact', 'people', 'molested', 'horrible', 'disgusting', 'excuse', 'parent', 'much', 'plan', 'fell', 'wa', 'misinformed', 'dance', 'opportunity', 'available', 'campus', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'possibility', 'wont', 'even', 'able', 'take', 'ballet', 'let', 'alone', 'hip', 'hop', 'took', 'back', 'home', 'helped', 'dark', 'time', 'hurt', 'ankle', 'cant', 'even', 'dance', 'free', 'time', 'fun', 'likely', 'another', 'week', 'least', 'true', 'friend', 'ive', 'ever', 'long', 'term', 'back', 'home', 'mentor', 'back', 'home', 'told', 'call', 'got', 'college', 'wont', 'even', 'answer', 'text', 'get', 'theyre', 'busy', 'theyre', 'talent', 'manager', 'director', 'choreographer', 'higher', 'ups', 'business', 'also', 'first', 'people', 'ive', 'ever', 'able', 'deem', 'real', 'family', 'deep', 'bond', 'reason', 'today', 'want', 'kill', 'much', 'le', 'often', 'especially', 'dance', 'teacher', 'often', 'whenever', 'said', 'goodbye', 'would', 'hug', 'say', 'love', 'doesnt', 'even', 'text', 'say', 'cant', 'talk', 'phonei', 'clingyi', 'trying', 'bother', 'need', 'right', 'wanting', 'say', 'hi', 'time', 'time', 'irrational', 'feel', 'likei', 'amlosing', 'everyone', 'shit', 'ha', 'happened', 'twice', 'quality', 'friend', 'back', 'home', 'changed', 'life', 'comfortable', 'telling', 'abused', 'boy', 'love', 'loveor', 'maybe', 'loved', 'depending', 'reason', 'done', 'stopped', 'looking', 'eye', 'soi', 'amjust', 'kind', 'college', 'honestly', 'tough', 'night', 'tried', 'dance', 'team', 'horribly', 'hurt', 'ankle', 'thats', 'another', 'door', 'closed', 'dance', 'also', 'tibetan', 'bowl', 'meditation', 'guy', 'dont', 'understand', 'meditation', 'know', 'specific', 'kind', 'often', 'let', 'see', 'vision', 'really', 'depressing', 'vision', 'boy', 'love', 'meeting', 'night', 'recently', 'wa', 'outside', 'cold', 'hour', 'calling', 'anyone', 'could', 'think', 'talk', 'much', 'wa', 'hurting', 'nobody', 'answered', 'end', 'night', 'called', 'mentor', 'still', 'none', 'texted', 'saying', 'sorry', 'missed', 'call', 'people', 'college', 'nice', 'much', 'nicer', 'people', 'regularly', 'interact', 'back', 'home', 'dont', 'know', 'well', 'enough', 'understand', 'exactly', 'tearing', 'seemsi', 'thought', 'college', 'would', 'better', 'place', 'wa', 'first', 'tonight', 'safe', 'say', 'even', 'though', 'thing', 'got', 'better', 'evened', 'cuz', 'lot', 'thing', 'getting', 'worse', 'havent', 'let', 'self', 'harm', 'last', 'day', 'really', 'hard', 'dont', 'really', 'see', 'reason', 'keep', 'going', 'anymore', 'really', 'good', 'finding', 'reason', 'keep', 'going', 'thing', 'gonna', 'like', 'next', 'four', 'year', 'dont', 'wanna', 'stick', 'around', 'time', 'doe', 'get', 'better', 'fucked', 'head', 'appreciate', 'wont', 'kill', 'tonight', 'cuz', 'never', 'cuzi', 'scared', 'amafraid', 'thati', 'amgonna', 'hurt', 'get', 'yet', 'another', 'scar', 'get', 'really', 'sad', 'look', 'self', 'harm', 'scar', 'summer', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'alive', 'right', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'like', 'way', 'dance', 'teacher', 'would', 'send', 'message', 'found', 'tried', 'hurt', 'thats', 'make', 'tempting', 'people', 'miss', 'would', 'actually', 'talk', 'heard', 'trying', 'kill', 'dont', 'want', 'make', 'sad', 'love', 'fucking', 'desperate', 'get', 'hello', 'youi', 'sorry', 'havent', 'bothered', 'reply', 'message', 'still', 'love', 'youi', 'amwilling', 'go', 'great', 'lengthsi', 'amscared', 'right', 'know', 'toxic', 'thought', 'honestlyi', 'desperate', 'talk', 'people', 'love', 'trying', 'end', 'life', 'starting', 'seem', 'worth']
516
['lair', 'seem', 'like', 'put', 'together', 'person', 'really', 'decaying', 'person', 'friend', 'family', 'advice', 'help', 'always', 'help', 'anything', 'person', 'seems', 'like', 'figured', 'happy', 'dying', 'inside', 'feel', 'lonely', 'isolated', 'true', 'connection', 'cannot', 'turn', 'friend', 'rock', 'moment', 'step', 'mother', 'rock', 'judge', 'make', 'breakdown', 'know', 'didnt', 'seem', 'way', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'seem', 'valuable', 'friend', 'family', 'drop', 'mostly', 'ha', 'happened', 'family', 'ha', 'taught', 'weak', 'thought', 'suck', 'year', 'thought', 'like', 'wave', 'crash', 'hard', 'time', 'drown', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'wake', 'dont', 'want', 'false', 'sense', 'happy', 'life', 'happy', 'fat', 'weird', 'creeping', 'poor', 'guy', 'flipping', 'desperate', 'human', 'connection', 'isnt', 'fake', 'come', 'desperate']
94
['saved', 'enough', 'money', 'suicide', 'dont', 'job', 'cash', 'bottle', 'save', 'enough', 'money', 'method', 'suicide', 'chose', 'money', 'currently', 'sitting', 'wallet', 'plan', 'perfect', 'day', 'commit', 'act']
23
['think', 'anymorei', 'amon', 'period', 'using', 'toilet', 'paper', 'tampon', 'havent', 'eaten', 'day', 'becausei', 'ambroke', 'best', 'friend', 'given', 'medicine', 'doesnt', 'work', 'cant', 'anymore', 'abba', 'ha', 'canceri', 'amdone']
25
['sorryi', 'amjusti', 'sorry']
3
['amstarting', 'lose', 'ive', 'messed', 'life', 'ive', 'gained', 'bunch', 'weight', 'going', 'outside', 'apartment', 'turning', 'bigger', 'bigger', 'problem', 'grocery', 'shop', 'minute', 'shop', 'close', 'avoid', 'many', 'stranger', 'possible', 'havent', 'done', 'laundry', 'month', 'every', 'day', 'dont', 'laundry', 'get', 'even', 'harder', 'smell', 'go', 'bed', 'cant', 'sleep', 'go', 'bed', 'midnight', 'hour', 'later', 'get', 'bed', 'cant', 'fall', 'asleep', 'get', 'incredibly', 'angry', 'stressed', 'wait', 'untili', 'exhausted', 'wont', 'able', 'fall', 'asleep', 'actually', 'manage', 'fall', 'asleep', 'construction', 'outside', 'apartment', 'start', 'making', 'incredibly', 'loud', 'noise', 'amlosing', 'mind', 'year', 'anniversary', 'depression', 'diagnosis', 'coming', 'seems', 'like', 'perfect', 'time', 'finally', 'get', 'peace']
88
['want', 'kill', 'right', 'sister', 'birthday', 'id', 'feel', 'like', 'asshole', 'best', 'friend', 'wedding', 'october', 'hard', 'job', 'recently', 'keep', 'telling', 'cant', 'anything', 'till', 'wa', 'lot', 'rough', 'time', 'life', 'would', 'destroy', 'kill', 'wedding', 'dont', 'think', 'would', 'forgive', 'happiness', 'one', 'important', 'thing', 'world', 'dont', 'asshole', 'people', 'love', 'cant', 'help', 'u', 'sometimes', 'love', 'keep', 'u', 'going', 'sometimes']
52
['nothing', 'seems', 'matter', 'anymore', 'feel', 'detached', 'everything', 'everyone', 'always', 'one', 'blamed', 'dont', 'really', 'think', 'reason', 'anymore', 'family', 'hardly', 'care', 'dont', 'much', 'going', 'anytime', 'get', 'excited', 'anything', 'life', 'fuck', 'dont', 'much', 'family', 'friend', 'care', 'everything', 'always', 'shitty', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'want', 'another', 'day', 'one', 'seems', 'ever', 'care', 'need', 'one', 'side', 'one', 'ever', 'seems', 'want', 'look', 'whag', 'need', 'care', 'feel', 'burden', 'everyone', 'know', 'one', 'care', 'exist', 'anymore']
65
['tonight', 'felt', 'could', 'die', 'heart', 'hurt', 'could', 'cry', 'night', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'numb', 'horrible', 'pain', 'anymore', 'soi', 'amaccepting', 'isi', 'going', 'give', 'time', 'heal', 'want', 'feel', 'pain', 'deal', 'reality', 'instead', 'doingi', 'amright', 'havent', 'even', 'climbed', 'bed', 'ive', 'sitting', 'next', 'picking', 'toe', 'staring', 'floor', 'since', 'got', 'home', 'getting', 'thing', 'left', 'house', 'month', 'ago', 'promise', 'id', 'would', 'coming', 'backbut', 'promise', 'wa', 'id', 'coming', 'back', 'dont', 'care', 'damn', 'speaker', 'id', 'give', 'every', 'sliver', 'hair', 'short', 'life', 'able', 'even', 'seen', 'two', 'eye', 'tonight', 'wa', 'convinced', 'id', 'lost', 'gone', 'forever', 'opened', 'possibility', 'finding', 'love', 'someone', 'else', 'shes', 'beautiful', 'funny', 'attractive', 'woman', 'sadly', 'didnt', 'take', 'long', 'someone', 'find', 'id', 'looking', 'year', 'shes', 'first', 'person', 'truly', 'opened', 'heart', 'since', 'last', 'onei', 'amafraid', 'may', 'lay', 'ahead', 'oneade', 'realize', 'love', 'last', 'one', 'wa', 'child', 'play', 'one', 'enlightened', 'reality', 'true', 'unconditional', 'absolutely', 'committed', 'loveand', 'fucked', 'wish', 'would', 'genuinely', 'asked', 'come', 'home']
140
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64
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73
['id', 'rather', 'die', 'divorce', 'love', 'wife', 'hate', 'married', 'depression', 'affect', 'mine', 'vice', 'versa', 'slowly', 'making', 'miserableerbut', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'asking', 'divorcefrankly', 'would', 'rather', 'die', 'hurt', 'way', 'would', 'prefer', 'rip', 'away', 'violence', 'admit', 'face', 'contributes', 'painto', 'fair', 'lovely', 'woman', 'good', 'wife', 'depression', 'isnt', 'eating', 'away', 'discredit', 'best', 'husband', 'regardless', 'depression', 'wont', 'go', 'specific', 'suffice', 'say', 'failing', 'husband', 'excacerbated', 'wife', 'already', 'potent', 'depressiontldr', 'would', 'rather', 'kill', 'admit', 'wife', 'miserable']
67
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144
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112
['kinda', 'funny', 'talk', 'wanting', 'die', 'hurricane', 'fun', 'game', 'talk', 'wanting', 'take', 'gun', 'head', 'pulling', 'trigger', 'suddenly', 'got', 'uncomfortable']
18
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44
['escaped', 'hour', 'suicide', 'watch', 'hospital', 'yesterday', 'wife', 'called', 'told', 'felt', 'suicidal', 'hoping', 'anything', 'id', 'get', 'script', 'xanax', 'something', 'dr', 'wanted', 'send', 'bullshit', 'facility', 'ive', 'twice', 'paycheck', 'thats', 'dont', 'give', 'fuck', 'anywaysi', 'amfeeling', 'fine', 'told', 'wanna', 'go', 'home', 'dr', 'said', 'go', 'matter', 'took', 'hospital', 'gown', 'reason', 'forgot', 'take', 'bag', 'clothes', 'put', 'clothes', 'back', 'made', 'jet', 'doori', 'ama', 'pretty', 'big', 'guy', 'guess', 'female', 'security', 'didnt', 'want', 'fuck', 'anyways', 'make', 'deep', 'wood', 'spend', 'hour', 'next', 'main', 'highway', 'seeing', 'cop', 'going', 'min', 'still', 'phone', 'made', 'call', 'friend', 'picked', 'go', 'thick', 'wood', 'ended', 'cut', 'leg', 'shit', 'made', 'friend', 'vehicle', 'nowi', 'amstaying', 'house', 'statei', 'amwondering', 'long', 'return', 'house', 'without', 'going', 'bullshit', 'placei', 'fine', 'showed', 'house', 'told', 'wife', 'going', 'charged', 'charge', 'breaking', 'law', 'would', 'try', 'take', 'back', 'hospital', 'reevaluate', 'stop', 'looking', 'week', 'considering', 'missing', 'person', 'report', 'thanks']
130
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206
['reality', 'keep', 'betraying', 'ive', 'fallen', 'inlove', 'girl', 'really', 'love', 'made', 'feel', 'alive', 'made', 'feel', 'safe', 'made', 'feel', 'safe', 'whenever', 'shes', 'around', 'cured', 'depression', 'girl', 'also', 'bestfriend', 'weve', 'done', 'many', 'thing', 'together', 'time', 'best', 'day', 'life', 'meant', 'alot', 'day', 'come', 'confessed', 'felt', 'rejected', 'didnt', 'live', 'standard', 'guy', 'like', 'value', 'wa', 'willing', 'change', 'guy', 'want', 'doesnt', 'respect', 'people', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'really', 'want', 'shes', 'everything', 'matter', 'nothing', 'work', 'depression', 'took', 'away', 'ha', 'returned', 'ten', 'fold', 'pain', 'inflicted', 'much', 'handle', 'believed', 'way', 'get', 'rid', 'pain', 'gouge', 'sickness', 'heart', 'ive', 'got', 'kitchen', 'knife', 'amgonna', 'stab', 'heart', 'finish', 'last', 'drink', 'alcohol']
95
['wa', 'family', 'friend', 'someone', 'close', 'killed', 'themself', 'anything', 'person', 'couldve', 'done', 'make', 'theyre', 'death', 'easier']
15
['dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amhere', 'anymorei', 'friend', 'dont', 'talk', 'anyone', 'hardly', 'ball', 'buy', 'thing', 'shop', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amhere', 'anymorei', 'friend', 'dont', 'talk', 'anyone', 'hardly', 'ball', 'buy', 'thing', 'shop', 'owni', 'amjust', 'sick', 'feel', 'likei', 'amretarded', 'everyone', 'around', 'laughing', 'behind', 'back', 'havent', 'even', 'conversation', 'girl', 'outside', 'family', 'like', 'year', 'want', 'give']
49
['really', 'dont', 'know', 'next', 'hello', 'turn', 'genuinely', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'lost', 'hope', 'reason', 'really', 'stay', 'alivei', 'year', 'old', 'heavily', 'depressedsuicidal', 'good', 'year', 'struggle', 'immensely', 'aspergers', 'social', 'anxiety', 'ha', 'hindered', 'severely', 'trying', 'fit', 'normal', 'wa', 'lot', 'discontent', 'life', 'managed', 'believing', 'could', 'soldier', 'almost', 'suck', 'sense', 'however', 'finished', 'high', 'school', 'lot', 'time', 'think', 'reflect', 'quite', 'honest', 'ha', 'really', 'accentuated', 'utterly', 'dull', 'mundane', 'everything', 'around', 'ha', 'become', 'food', 'doesnt', 'taste', 'great', 'music', 'doesnt', 'sound', 'great', 'nothing', 'feel', 'like', 'good', 'anymore', 'debated', 'heavily', 'end', 'life', 'honesty', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'chooses', 'life', 'wonderful', 'place', 'filled', 'joy', 'beauty', 'substance', 'euphoria', 'ha', 'become', 'short', 'far', 'apart', 'recently', 'started', 'higher', 'education', 'try', 'maybe', 'get', 'purpose', 'life', 'try', 'distract', 'sadnesssuicidal', 'thought', 'academic', 'person', 'term', 'made', 'lot', 'worse', 'acted', 'catalyst', 'reminded', 'awkward', 'really', 'feel', 'really', 'dumb', 'cant', 'really', 'concentrate', 'much', 'lesson', 'therefore', 'miss', 'lot', 'learning', 'feel', 'really', 'anxious', 'always', 'feel', 'like', 'people', 'looking', 'judging', 'every', 'time', 'walk', 'past', 'someone', 'laughing', 'instantly', 'assume', 'feel', 'overwhelmed', 'everything', 'caught', 'quickly', 'feel', 'like', 'sadness', 'starting', 'eat', 'away', 'chance', 'getting', 'better', 'tried', 'professional', 'help', 'didnt', 'work', 'made', 'feel', 'worse', 'felt', 'like', 'big', 'burden', 'familyi', 'really', 'fucking', 'idea', 'sw', 'really', 'want', 'live', 'content', 'everything', 'sheer', 'idea', 'thing', 'way', 'make', 'depressed', 'starting', 'affect', 'physical', 'health', 'hair', 'falling', 'clump', 'skin', 'look', 'like', 'utter', 'shiti', 'amsteadily', 'gaining', 'weight', 'self', 'esteem', 'dropping', 'basically', 'nothing', 'always', 'feel', 'tired', 'unmotivatedim', 'sick', 'read', 'far', 'thank', 'hope', 'havehad', 'wonderful', 'day']
228
['work', 'compensate', 'family', 'kill', 'jobi', 'nothing', 'finicial', 'support', 'family', 'id', 'like', 'figure', 'way', 'making', 'sure', 'going', 'good', 'money', 'wise', 'pas', 'least', 'funeral', 'covered']
23
['never', 'good', 'enough', 'relationship', 'end', 'cheating', 'break', 'eventually', 'come', 'back', 'say', 'much', 'regret', 'made', 'huge', 'mistake', 'fuck', 'doe', 'keep', 'taking', 'gone', 'someone', 'life', 'value', 'maybe', 'mean', 'time', 'single', 'one', 'friend', 'texted', 'birthday', 'ex', 'recently', 'found', 'ha', 'shoving', 'dick', 'mouth', 'left', 'right', 'momus', 'tired', 'unappreciated', 'tossed', 'aside', 'literally', 'everyone', 'relative', 'energy', 'get', 'drunk', 'sometimes', 'eat', 'cant', 'much', 'longer']
57
['year', 'five', 'year', 'hating', 'struggling', 'want', 'wake', 'morning', 'realizing', 'problem', 'never', 'getting', 'help', 'five', 'year', 'misery', 'sadness', 'want', 'last', 'two', 'week', 'especially', 'bad', 'school', 'work', 'piling', 'keeping', 'social', 'dont', 'want', 'job', 'dont', 'want', 'college', 'degree', 'want', 'overi', 'tired', 'pretending', 'exists', 'year', 'willing', 'live', 'another', 'day', 'good', 'night', 'good', 'bye']
49
['lost', 'mother', 'died', 'le', 'year', 'ago', 'recovered', 'father', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'care', 'though', 'ha', 'new', 'lady', 'suddenly', 'thing', 'used', 'take', 'care', 'around', 'house', 'take', 'back', 'burner', 'well', 'mother', 'confidant', 'father', 'couldnt', 'care', 'le', 'walk', 'around', 'constantly', 'tear', 'self', 'inflicted', 'cut', 'arm', 'always', 'trouble', 'depression', 'ha', 'thrown', 'edge', 'used', 'say', 'thing', 'keeping', 'alive', 'wa', 'hurting', 'father', 'dont', 'think', 'would', 'care', 'trying', 'keep', 'hope', 'alive', 'failing', 'struggle', 'figure', 'way', 'die', 'causing', 'trama', 'anyone', 'would', 'find', 'dont', 'want', 'like', 'cant', 'find', 'solace', 'need', 'help']
80
['ever', 'loved', 'someone', 'didnt', 'know', 'wellim', 'fool', 'doe', 'everything', 'man', 'make', 'abdomen', 'cramp', 'feel', 'near', 'smile', 'like', 'opened', 'bright', 'new', 'world', 'ha', 'sexiest', 'tone', 'voice', 'ive', 'ever', 'heard', 'calm', 'soothing', 'warmest', 'demeanor', 'dont', 'even', 'feel', 'cold', 'anymore', 'wanted', 'know', 'everything', 'man', 'mean', 'even', 'gained', 'pound', 'would', 'still', 'love', 'even', 'lost', 'limb', 'would', 'chop', 'mine', 'offer', 'right', 'probably', 'wouldnt', 'take', 'even', 'couldnt', 'use', 'spine', 'lost', 'us', 'lower', 'body', 'would', 'take', 'care', 'love', 'demeanor', 'spirit', 'attitude', 'inside', 'voice', 'wish', 'could', 'shadow', 'would', 'sacrifice', 'happiness', 'see', 'big', 'bright', 'smile', 'see', 'reveal', 'new', 'world', 'would', 'trade', 'life', 'soul', 'would', 'sale', 'sinister', 'deity', 'dark', 'tall', 'hair', 'feel', 'like', 'brillo', 'padi', 'uglyi', 'ampoor', 'want', 'crawl', 'inside', 'die', 'come', 'back', 'someone', 'deservesi', 'amjust', 'dog', 'barking', 'one', 'listen', 'real', 'lifei', 'amjust', 'stalker', 'loser', 'degenerate', 'freak', 'doesnt', 'even', 'deserve', 'live', 'one', 'read', 'one', 'know', 'youll', 'ask', 'wheres', 'self', 'esteem']
140
['oh', 'begin', 'ive', 'plagued', 'mental', 'health', 'issue', 'pretty', 'much', 'since', 'birth', 'caused', 'enormous', 'amount', 'strain', 'family', 'made', 'outcast', 'early', 'childhood', 'gained', 'reputation', 'weird', 'bad', 'ect', 'people', 'knew', 'absolutely', 'nothing', 'shrugged', 'kept', 'going', 'middle', 'school', 'started', 'getting', 'bullied', 'couldnt', 'walk', 'hallway', 'without', 'getting', 'called', 'faggot', 'middle', 'school', 'rumor', 'flew', 'like', 'crazy', 'wa', 'homeschooled', 'th', 'grade', 'bullying', 'rumor', 'took', 'whole', 'new', 'level', 'crazy', 'flat', 'bullshit', 'kept', 'goingand', 'th', 'grade', 'went', 'back', 'school', 'finally', 'made', 'friend', 'people', 'still', 'kind', 'bullshit', 'idea', 'without', 'ever', 'even', 'conversation', 'actually', 'made', 'friendsthen', 'high', 'school', 'everything', 'got', 'better', 'first', 'ton', 'friend', 'considered', 'family', 'wasnt', 'bullied', 'face', 'wa', 'actually', 'happythen', 'second', 'year', 'high', 'school', 'started', 'boom', 'insomnia', 'became', 'extremely', 'irritable', 'wa', 'sleeping', 'class', 'wasnt', 'shaving', 'dressing', 'like', 'shit', 'well', 'didnt', 'know', 'time', 'cyclothymia', 'lesser', 'version', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'kicked', 'th', 'gear', 'make', 'matter', 'worse', 'wa', 'already', 'seeing', 'shrink', 'psychiatrist', 'wa', 'getting', 'medication', 'guess', 'med', 'wa', 'getting', 'antidepressant', 'dont', 'know', 'ad', 'cyclothymia', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'case', 'hypomania', 'fun', 'basically', 'year', 'wa', 'mostly', 'hypomanici', 'amsure', 'guess', 'wa', 'like', 'well', 'since', 'one', 'symptom', 'hypomania', 'arrogance', 'got', 'mistook', 'narcissism', 'certain', 'true', 'narcissist', 'didnt', 'like', 'went', 'around', 'friend', 'considered', 'family', 'told', 'wa', 'horrible', 'person', 'thought', 'le', 'course', 'didnt', 'saw', 'almost', 'equal', 'get', 'better', 'decided', 'assume', 'wa', 'also', 'liar', 'mentioned', 'fell', 'firepit', 'wa', 'kid', 'melted', 'hand', 'together', 'scar', 'must', 'lying', 'even', 'tho', 'really', 'happen', 'find', 'way', 'prove', 'dont', 'believe', 'told', 'everyone', 'practically', 'overnight', 'family', 'wa', 'gone', 'insomnia', 'gotten', 'point', 'wa', 'staying', 'awake', 'straight', 'hour', 'cope', 'turned', 'xanax', 'benadryl', 'sleep', 'fallout', 'obvious', 'soi', 'amleft', 'alone', 'addicted', 'xanax', 'going', 'fucking', 'mad', 'sleep', 'deprivation', 'dropped', 'high', 'school', 'month', 'later', 'nervous', 'breakdown', 'cyclothymia', 'progressed', 'full', 'blown', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'start', 'flying', 'handle', 'punching', 'hole', 'wall', 'smoking', 'ton', 'weed', 'cope', 'struggling', 'xanax', 'ativan', 'one', 'single', 'personwhats', 'point', 'none', 'read', 'far', 'rambling', 'read', 'ruined', 'everything', 'noi', 'amapparently', 'allowed', 'happy', 'friend', 'ruin', 'everything']
298
['living', 'life', 'pointless', 'worth', 'effort', 'soon', 'dead', 'wont', 'allow', 'self', 'happiness', 'lie']
12
['dont', 'know', 'else', 'talk', 'trying', 'kill', 'hard']
7
['youll', 'never', 'know', 'waking', 'everyday', 'better', 'person', 'keep', 'draining', 'inner', 'motivation', 'anything', 'pointless', 'world', 'look', 'human', 'beside', 'realize', 'may', 'feel', 'exact', 'way', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'year', 'bad', 'past', 'couple', 'month', 'although', 'never', 'looked', 'le', 'appealing', 'buddy', 'purposely', 'crashed', 'car', 'highway', 'effort', 'kill', 'hour', 'found', 'incident', 'assumption', 'lady', 'killer', 'handsome', 'man', 'happy', 'along', 'living', 'life', 'fullest', 'jealous', 'time', 'inner', 'dialogue', 'make', 'effort', 'keep', 'pushing', 'one', 'day', 'youre', 'still', 'playing', 'game', 'maybe', 'level', 'get', 'easier', 'time', 'move', 'best', 'luck', 'live', 'life', 'feel', 'alive', 'lose', 'journey']
83
['idea', 'life', 'serious', 'debt', 'passion', 'want', 'havent', 'figured', 'way', 'yet', 'also', 'would', 'leave', 'girlfriend', 'totally', 'crushed', 'love', 'feel', 'like', 'burden', 'heavy', 'love', 'carry', 'know', 'whats', 'really', 'ironic', 'spent', 'six', 'week', 'clinic', 'came', 'felt', 'depressed', 'ever', 'point', 'probably', 'suicidal', 'ever', 'felt', 'ugh']
41
['kill', 'quicklyi', 'ami', 'suffer', 'severe', 'social', 'anxiety', 'cant', 'talk', 'people', 'cant', 'get', 'job', 'severe', 'mean', 'severe', 'social', 'anxiety', 'solitary', 'job', 'people', 'age', 'everyone', 'else', 'ha', 'problem', 'getting', 'job', 'cant', 'go', 'psychiatrist', 'grade', 'plummeting', 'cant', 'think', 'straight', 'critically', 'anymore', 'always', 'depressed', 'planning', 'killing', 'tonight', 'cant', 'pursue', 'passion', 'cant', 'get', 'job', 'fund', 'passion', 'reasoni', 'still', 'alive', 'girl', 'school', 'doesnt', 'knowi', 'amsuicidal']
59
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92
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45
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146
['dont', 'know', 'else', 'go', 'dont', 'know', 'anything', 'anymore', 'cop', 'going', 'kill', 'tased', 'beat', 'restaurant', 'two', 'month', 'ago', 'may', 'losing', 'mind', 'asshole', 'one', 'give', 'shit', 'truth', 'matter', 'saw', 'already', 'made', 'decision', 'fuck', 'probably', 'fucked', 'life', 'way', 'know', 'love', 'isnt', 'enough', 'fix', 'fucking', 'thing', 'whichever', 'one', 'pull', 'trigger', 'bigger', 'mercy', 'theyll', 'ever', 'know', 'know', 'wont']
53
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172
['help', 'please', 'joined', 'today', 'coping', 'time', 'running', 'dont', 'know', 'thought', 'strong', 'dont', 'die']
13
['living', 'year', 'enough', 'right', 'mean', 'year', 'sound', 'like', 'lot', 'year', 'anything', 'sound', 'like', 'much', 'year', 'swimming', 'studying', 'eating', 'sound', 'much', 'year', 'life', 'way', 'much']
24
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366
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133
['feel', 'lost', 'couple', 'day', 'feeling', 'really', 'depressed', 'feel', 'like', 'nobody', 'love', 'school', 'bad', 'feel', 'like', 'everything', 'gonna', 'go', 'even', 'worse', 'future', 'dont', 'feel', 'anger', 'anymore', 'pain', 'sadness', 'end', 'maybe', 'help']
30
['hate', 'living', 'brain', 'cant', 'handel', 'nothing', 'change', 'moved', 'away', 'started', 'new', 'school', 'wherei', 'amsupposed', 'live', 'make', 'new', 'friend', 'old', 'shit', 'mental', 'problem', 'cant', 'get', 'voice', 'constantly', 'filling', 'head', 'doubt', 'making', 'overthink', 'thing', 'making', 'say', 'stupid', 'shit', 'allways', 'weird', 'kid', 'ive', 'gotten', 'better', 'masking', 'feel', 'like', 'fuck', 'screw', 'lose', 'temper', 'stupidest', 'shit', 'get', 'annoyed', 'small', 'noices', 'judge', 'allmost', 'everyone', 'head', 'shallow', 'fucking', 'mind', 'sett', 'many', 'time', 'ive', 'tried', 'fix', 'shit', 'woken', 'hope', 'poinless', 'small', 'victory', 'mean', 'shit', 'allways', 'end', 'fucking', 'place', 'never', 'gotten', 'close', 'taking', 'life', 'thought', 'want', 'stop', 'whilethere', 'much', 'pressure', 'social', 'cant', 'handel', 'iti', 'good', 'making', 'friend', 'shit', 'everything', 'well', 'fuck', 'suppose', 'confidence', 'fucking', 'urge', 'everyone', 'like', 'fuck', 'bad', 'hate', 'worst', 'good', 'life', 'cant', 'fucking', 'everything', 'need', 'perfect', 'fuck', 'fuck', 'want', 'peache', 'constantly', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'popular', 'idk', 'feel', 'hopeless', 'thats', 'shit', 'repeat', 'thought', 'would', 'peache', 'wa', 'older', 'might', 'end', 'dont', 'know']
143
['family', 'like', 'tell', 'one', 'want', 'around', 'tell', 'shut', 'wheni', 'depressedi', 'sobbing', 'hour', 'really', 'feel', 'likei', 'amjust', 'burden', 'one', 'want', 'around', 'one', 'talk', 'sound', 'like', 'hard', 'situation', 'want', 'talk']
28
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147
['literally', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'living', 'endometriosis', 'day', 'spent', 'taking', 'pain', 'pill', 'parent', 'curled', 'bed', 'drag', 'class', 'try', 'good', 'major', 'hysterectomy', 'doctor', 'perform', 'untili', 'amat', 'least', 'like', 'life', 'miserable', 'painful', 'id', 'honestly', 'rather', 'opt', 'ive', 'never', 'particularly', 'positive', 'motivated', 'right', 'see', 'point', 'continuing', 'exist', 'stay', 'miserable', 'unhappy', 'hysterectomy', 'put', 'debt', 'graduate', 'work', 'meaningless', 'job', 'decade', 'finally', 'body', 'give', 'lll', 'die', 'even', 'parent', 'acknowledge', 'ive', 'screwed', 'beginning', 'genetics', 'honestly', 'wish', 'never', 'die', 'wont', 'deal', 'pain', 'depression', 'shot', 'surgery', 'sound', 'like', 'better', 'deal']
80
['strong', 'enough', 'live', 'wa', 'younger', 'wa', 'much', 'fit', 'live', 'last', 'year', 'changed', 'become', 'weak', 'sensitive', 'everythingeverything', 'ha', 'become', 'impossibile', 'x', 'harderi', 'motivation', 'even', 'emotionaly', 'strong', 'againat', 'point', 'death', 'futurei', 'method', 'ready']
31
['sort', 'want', 'become', 'one', 'earth', 'universe', 'human', 'miserable', 'understand', 'entirelyi', 'live', 'metro', 'area', 'huge', 'socioeconomic', 'inequality', 'affecting', 'mentally', 'pervasive', 'sense', 'alienation', 'bout', 'severe', 'depression', 'etci', 'read', 'board', 'probably', 'like', 'many', 'make', 'feel', 'le', 'ashamedalone', 'struggling', 'hard', 'feel', 'hopefulyou', 'guy', 'country', 'crisis', 'many', 'way', 'culture', 'many', 'struggling', 'financially', 'due', 'chronic', 'underemployment', 'low', 'wage', 'chronic', 'stressdepressionanxiety', 'high', 'rent', 'living', 'cost', 'culture', 'put', 'huge', 'premium', 'superficial', 'ego', 'status', 'materialismhalfwhite', 'grew', 'around', 'white', 'social', 'conservative', 'reviled', 'government', 'stigmatized', 'depression', 'snap', 'mentality', 'saw', 'chronic', 'struggle', 'sign', 'weakness', 'obvious', 'country', 'full', 'people', 'ignorant', 'negligent', 'pain', 'suffering', 'around', 'selfserving', 'awful', 'witnessi', 'trying', 'studyunderstand', 'buddhism', 'survival', 'everything', 'read', 'make', 'realize', 'country', 'culture', 'push', 'inverse', 'consciousness', 'underlies', 'buddhism', 'culture', 'emphasizes', 'ego', 'status', 'materialismi', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'n', 'america', 'bc', 'live', 'near', 'dci', 'trying', 'learn', 'prepare', 'stint', 'peace', 'corp', 'etc']
130
['cant', 'anymore', 'hurt', 'much', 'hate', 'much', 'want', 'die', 'badlyi', 'ampathetici', 'amfat', 'ugly', 'covered', 'scar', 'around', 'awful', 'example', 'human', 'dont', 'friend', 'real', 'life', 'anymore', 'since', 'left', 'school', 'theyve', 'barely', 'talked', 'frustrate', 'anger', 'parent', 'lately', 'used', 'yell', 'occasionally', 'pretty', 'much', 'every', 'day', 'brother', 'used', 'look', 'nowi', 'amjust', 'disappointment', 'havent', 'done', 'schoolwork', 'long', 'entire', 'th', 'grade', 'year', 'wa', 'rotting', 'room', 'used', 'smart', 'straight', 'top', 'school', 'barely', 'anything', 'fuck', 'ive', 'done', 'many', 'horrible', 'thing', 'people', 'around', 'mei', 'ama', 'disgusting', 'excuse', 'human', 'point', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'hate', 'everything', 'life', 'wish', 'could', 'start', 'someone', 'completely', 'different', 'hurt', 'alive', 'physically', 'mentally', 'emotionallyi', 'amon', 'med', 'year', 'therapist', 'quit', 'june', 'wont', 'new', 'one', 'til', 'october', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whyi', 'amposting', 'actually', 'knew', 'youd', 'agree', 'much', 'waste', 'space', 'cant', 'anymore', 'hate', 'much', 'always', 'remember', 'hating', 'age', 'wa', 'fat', 'one', 'earliest', 'memory', 'called', 'piggy', 'cousin', 'god', 'year', 'life', 'full', 'mental', 'willness', 'burden', 'people', 'around', 'werent', 'parent', 'crushed', 'would', 'killed', 'long', 'time', 'ago', 'theyre', 'angry', 'time', 'know', 'would', 'better', 'never', 'existed', 'wish', 'wa', 'dead', 'everything', 'hurt']
165
['drunk', 'thought', 'oi', 'drunken', 'fuck', 'someone', 'ha', 'family', 'love', 'would', 'anything', 'help', 'trustworthy', 'loyal', 'sincere', 'frends', 'good', 'bunch', 'still', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'hate', 'happy', 'grateful', 'ha', 'ha', 'potential', 'whatever', 'want', 'stupid', 'find', 'happiness', 'interest', 'motivation', 'everything', 'dull', 'grey', 'cannot', 'feel', 'loved', 'love', 'everything', 'willusion', 'fucking', 'idiot', 'cause', 'get', 'drunk', 'make', 'thought', 'flow', 'make', 'fluid', 'lose', 'control', 'mind', 'bit', 'also', 'writes', 'third', 'person', 'time', 'oh', 'strange', 'effect', 'alcohol', 'fuck', 'life', 'fuck', 'dont', 'fucking', 'care', 'anything', 'want', 'end', 'today', 'discovered', 'die', 'eating', 'hemlock', 'root', 'look', 'doable', 'effective', 'enough', 'say', 'bite', 'enough', 'fucking', 'eat', 'salad', 'also', 'say', 'successful', 'attempt', 'suicide', 'come', 'several', 'failure', 'wont', 'case', 'everyone', 'shocked', 'laugh', 'paradise', 'deserve', 'paradise', 'sincei', 'amliving', 'hell', 'earth', 'place', 'terrible', 'want', 'wake', 'cant', 'feel', 'love', 'cant', 'cry']
121
['kill', 'nothing', 'change', 'soon', 'still', 'struggling', 'find', 'worki', 'amcurrently', 'thing', 'give', 'best', 'possible', 'chance', 'get', 'work', 'ie', 'fitness', 'eating', 'right', 'work', 'experience', 'sector', 'hopefully', 'get', 'something', 'nothing', 'happingi', 'amfed', 'set', 'death', 'date', 'nothing', 'change', 'soon', 'wont', 'confirm', 'hpefully', 'natural', 'cause', 'take', 'life', 'currently', 'balance']
44
['wish', 'could', 'stop', 'breathing', 'dont', 'think', 'anymore', 'everythings', 'pointless', 'dropped', 'uni', 'see', 'friend', 'around', 'graduating', 'looking', 'futurei', 'amstuck', 'boring', 'job', 'low', 'pay', 'feel', 'though', 'stuck', 'like', 'ive', 'messed', 'every', 'good', 'opportunity', 'ive', 'ever', 'hadi', 'skint', 'cant', 'afford', 'anything', 'money', 'go', 'car', 'rent', 'food', 'billsi', 'ampermanently', 'overdraft', 'feel', 'lonely', 'cut', 'everyone', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'talk', 'friend', 'life', 'shit', 'almost', 'embarrassing', 'cant', 'even', 'pretend', 'happy', 'easier', 'see', 'anyone', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'tried', 'think', 'ive', 'enough', 'live', 'boyfriend', 'doesnt', 'care', 'anymore', 'want', 'leave', 'move', 'back', 'parent', 'know', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'doesnt', 'want', 'nobody', 'really', 'want', 'anywherei', 'sick', 'sad', 'alone', 'bored', 'jealous', 'everyone', 'around', 'cant', 'anymore', 'wish', 'could', 'stop', 'breathing']
105
['confessed', 'boyfriend', 'came', 'home', 'school', 'feeling', 'ready', 'today', 'thing', 'arent', 'going', 'well', 'wa', 'feeling', 'like', 'future', 'actually', 'still', 'feel', 'wayi', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'moment', 'ended', 'confessing', 'boyfriend', 'urge', 'earlier', 'made', 'feel', 'worse', 'saying', 'hed', 'kill', 'hed', 'would', 'affect', 'around', 'selfish', 'wa', 'beingi', 'sure', 'whati', 'amexpecting', 'posting', 'wanted', 'get', 'chest', 'instead', 'thinking', 'wow', 'loved', 'feel', 'angry', 'alienated', 'already']
56
['life', 'kicking', 'give']
3
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218
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114
['want', 'call', 'fear', 'career', 'hi', 'depression', 'really', 'beating', 'today', 'want', 'pick', 'phone', 'call', 'hotline', 'dont', 'want', 'lose', 'job', 'job', 'security', 'officer', 'requires', 'carry', 'loaded', 'gun', 'daily', 'basis', 'dont', 'want', 'disqualified', 'calling', 'hour', 'day', 'today', 'need', 'help', 'suicide', 'text', 'service']
39
['wa', 'lonely', 'ate', 'shit', 'kid', 'first', 'day', 'junior', 'year', 'college', 'amsitting', 'dorm', 'alone', 'guess', 'used', 'friend', 'thinki', 'amdumb', 'know', 'issue', 'think', 'theyre', 'innocent', 'think', 'insecurity', 'appearance', 'height', 'difficulty', 'talking', 'girl', 'normie', 'shit', 'course', 'want', 'friend', 'cant', 'straight', 'tell', 'whats', 'really', 'mind', 'pretend', 'issue', 'couple', 'friend', 'pretendi', 'amsecretly', 'gay', 'another', 'thinki', 'amtrans', 'thinki', 'amjust', 'anxious', 'whenever', 'think', 'figured', 'run', 'becausei', 'amterrified', 'anyone', 'actually', 'truly', 'come', 'dumb', 'friend', 'thinki', 'amjust', 'dumber', 'smart', 'friend', 'thinki', 'smart', 'good', 'hate', 'way', 'stay', 'sane', 'socialize', 'pretend', 'stupid', 'fucking', 'normies', 'give', 'stupid', 'advice', 'could', 'gotten', 'looking', 'quote', 'instagram', 'none', 'btw', 'anything', 'accepting', 'literally', 'gave', 'ate', 'shit', 'age', 'one', 'think', 'dont', 'think', 'thing', 'hardesti', 'mess', 'thought', 'thing', 'much', 'still', 'nobody', 'ha', 'ever', 'written', 'song', 'lonely', 'depraved', 'fucking', 'middle', 'schooler', 'ate', 'shit', 'friend', 'think', 'dont', 'really', 'care', 'music', 'dont', 'bother', 'listen', 'listen', 'havent', 'heard', 'song', 'sings', 'anything', 'relevant', 'even', 'inspirational', 'people', 'well', 'nobody', 'remotely', 'remarkables', 'rock', 'bottom', 'seems', 'even', 'close', 'year', 'old', 'manufacturing', 'intimacy', 'eating', 'shit', 'pro', 'tip', 'cant', 'get', 'normal', 'sex', 'warp', 'budding', 'sexuality', 'something', 'get', 'solidifies', 'becomes', 'part', 'never', 'worry', 'getting', 'hate', 'regret', 'even', 'bigger', 'turn', 'since', 'get', 'feelingi', 'keep', 'running', 'away', 'people', 'get', 'older', 'getting', 'harder', 'harder', 'start', 'transferred', 'college', 'last', 'year', 'honestly', 'much', 'feel', 'like', 'want', 'preserve', 'relationship', 'make', 'new', 'friend', 'feel', 'guilty', 'lie', 'trick', 'thinkingi', 'disgusting', 'subhuman', 'dont', 'get', 'act', 'way', 'talent', 'writing', 'code', 'fucking', 'hate', 'thati', 'good', 'everyone', 'assumes', 'must', 'fine', 'like', 'kid', 'shit', 'much', 'fucking', 'code', 'isnt', 'red', 'flag', 'someone', 'desperately', 'trying', 'figure', 'something', 'everyone', 'keep', 'praising', 'giving', 'money', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'deserve', 'reward', 'fucked', 'year', 'old', 'toy', 'keep', 'entertained', 'plenty', 'money', 'friend', 'thankfully', 'afford', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'living', 'monster', 'real', 'ha', 'stay', 'locked', 'away', 'leave', 'path', 'confused', 'possibly', 'hurt', 'people', 'world', 'doesnt', 'need']
282
['decided', 'today', 'day', 'going', 'kill', 'havent', 'decided', 'method', 'want', 'use', 'yet', 'one', 'picked', 'end', 'day', 'today', 'hey', 'bud', 'sorry', 'going', 'rough', 'time', 'going', 'couple', 'month', 'start', 'lost', 'little', 'sister', 'wa', 'apparently', 'wa', 'drug', 'addict', 'one', 'foresaw', 'left', 'year', 'old', 'son', 'raise', 'raised', 'amonly', 'first', 'couldnt', 'live', 'time', 'went', 'realizedi', 'still', 'reason', 'reason', 'lot', 'live', 'youll', 'figure', 'come', 'would', 'contemplate', 'everyday', 'way', 'would', 'go', 'like', 'nowi', 'month', 'without', 'one', 'single', 'thought', 'mind', 'know', 'know', 'anything', 'assure', 'ever', 'going', 'pas', 'friend', 'one', 'day', 'look', 'back', 'thankful', 'didnt', 'like', 'gained', 'son', 'live', 'one', 'day', 'youll', 'give', 'time', 'find', 'calling', 'best', 'wish', 'friend', 'god', 'bless']
101
['used', 'work', 'w', 'celebs', 'moved', 'across', 'country', 'one', 'give', 'shit', 'never', 'famous', 'want', 'die', 'howd', 'get', 'chance', 'work', 'celebs', 'sound', 'like', 'cool', 'experience', 'move']
24
['feel', 'nothing', 'year', 'thinking', 'would', 'alone', 'found', 'one', 'girl', 'truly', 'loved', 'left', 'fallen', 'one', 'friend', 'didnt', 'even', 'interest', 'much', 'want', 'happy', 'much', 'want', 'support', 'feel', 'nothing', 'dont', 'even', 'feel', 'sad', 'upset', 'mad', 'even', 'depressed', 'dont', 'feel', 'anything', 'numb', 'cant', 'even', 'laugh', 'anything', 'put', 'fucking', 'show', 'every', 'day', 'act', 'likei', 'amok', 'people', 'dont', 'suspect', 'anything', 'really', 'dont', 'care', 'anything', 'want', 'fucking', 'choke', 'extension', 'lead', 'ive', 'tried', 'several', 'time', 'instinct', 'kick', 'asi', 'amabout', 'go', 'hand', 'force', 'cord', 'loose', 'around', 'neck', 'want', 'hell', 'end', 'wouldnt', 'wish', 'emptiness', 'anyone', 'even', 'people', 'used', 'hate', 'passion', 'cant', 'stand']
92
['scared', 'end', 'life', 'really', 'want', 'end', 'life', 'many', 'reason', 'hate', 'depressed', 'everyday', 'wake', 'future', 'hate', 'way', 'life', 'atm', 'parent', 'hardly', 'friend', 'dont', 'want', 'anything', 'life', 'want', 'end', 'really', 'badly', 'amto', 'scared', 'amalso', 'scared', 'hurting', 'family', 'friend', 'soi', 'amforced', 'exist', 'life', 'want', 'end', 'dont', 'know']
44
['life', 'shit', 'get', 'started', 'hii', 'amjessicai', 'ama', 'year', 'old', 'transgirl', 'came', 'couple', 'friend', 'year', 'ago', 'couple', 'month', 'ago', 'thing', 'summarize', 'mehowever', 'sociopath', 'life', 'suspect', 'fond', 'fucked', 'thing', 'go', 'far', 'file', 'police', 'report', 'making', 'outi', 'ama', 'fucking', 'terrorist', 'mind', 'almost', 'committed', 'suicide', 'detective', 'rocked', 'asking', 'random', 'shit', 'know', 'nothing', 'thankfully', 'back', 'wouldnt', 'youre', 'getting', 'threatened', 'year', 'detective', 'coming', 'like', 'shit', 'get', 'information', 'good', 'cop', 'bad', 'cop', 'kind', 'bullshitif', 'guy', 'hate', 'much', 'hell', 'pick', 'thing', 'adopt', 'pretend', 'cant', 'manipulate', 'directly', 'manipulates', 'everyone', 'around', 'parent', 'know', 'nothing', 'transgender', 'people', 'thanks', 'cunt', 'think', 'mentally', 'sexual', 'pervert', 'etc', 'thanks', 'guy', 'pretending', 'transgender', 'fucked', 'bullshit', 'attack', 'methe', 'bastard', 'ha', 'ruined', 'chance', 'coming', 'joked', 'around', 'parent', 'saying', 'wa', 'sex', 'change', 'constantly', 'going', 'fuck', 'tard', 'shouldnt', 'copy', 'etc', 'anything', 'get', 'sex', 'changepersonally', 'kind', 'want', 'grab', 'knife', 'slice', 'fucking', 'neck', 'dieto', 'give', 'idea', 'low', 'cunt', 'found', 'depression', 'selfed', 'harmed', 'high', 'school', 'though', 'mother', 'mother', 'best', 'mate', 'mine', 'etc', 'every', 'class', 'wa', 'would', 'suddenly', 'depressed', 'make', 'selfed', 'harmed', 'would', 'go', 'badly', 'wa', 'bullied', 'life', 'etc', 'literally', 'copying', 'sob', 'story', 'fucking', 'cunt', 'already', 'feel', 'one', 'care', 'youre', 'confirming', 'itwhen', 'found', 'dad', 'wa', 'abusive', 'bipolar', 'whenever', 'wa', 'around', 'would', 'go', 'upto', 'random', 'people', 'abused', 'fuck', 'say', 'oh', 'sorry', 'bipolarthanks', 'every', 'fucking', 'person', 'around', 'ha', 'fucked', 'idea', 'transgender', 'people', 'ha', 'made', 'impossible', 'transition', 'come', 'outmy', 'birthday', 'day', 'amconsidering', 'killing', 'every', 'since', 'wa', 'child', 'nothing', 'bullying', 'people', 'would', 'always', 'fucking', 'forget', 'birthday', 'mother', 'would', 'nice', 'say', 'maybe', 'forgot', 'father', 'day', 'bullshit', 'people', 'know', 'birthday', 'week', 'mine', 'ton', 'fucking', 'people', 'rock', 'upim', 'person', 'hate', 'people', 'personally', 'wasnt', 'willegal', 'would', 'beat', 'kick', 'living', 'shit', 'sociopathic', 'cunt', 'every', 'fucking', 'person', 'hate', 'destroy', 'mentally', 'suffer', 'constant', 'panic', 'attack', 'shit', 'kicked', 'bully', 'would', 'make', 'wa', 'fucking', 'bad', 'guy', 'yeah', 'totally', 'get', 'fucking', 'finger', 'sliced', 'openi', 'amthe', 'bad', 'guy', 'slapping', 'self', 'defense', 'fuck', 'cunt', 'went', 'far', 'threaten', 'break', 'nose', 'assault', 'simply', 'self', 'defense', 'telling', 'stick', 'myselfi', 'dont', 'know', 'fuck', 'ive', 'already', 'import', 'drug', 'need', 'transition', 'risk', 'harming', 'health', 'due', 'fuckheadbasically', 'hell', 'take', 'role', 'transgender', 'person', 'destroy', 'image', 'transgender', 'person', 'literally', 'going', 'around', 'saying', 'mentally', 'cant', 'help', 'wearing', 'dress', 'sexual', 'pervert', 'etc', 'fucking', 'get', 'fucked', 'reason', 'dont', 'knowhe', 'know', 'thati', 'still', 'transitioning', 'giving', 'fuck', 'ha', 'stopped', 'making', 'look', 'like', 'fucking', 'moronpps', 'trans', 'people', 'dont', 'fake', 'transgender', 'like', 'cancer', 'patient', 'dont', 'fake', 'cancer', 'etcthe', 'thing', 'guy', 'find', 'something', 'next', 'day', 'hell', 'suddenly', 'go', 'around', 'posing', 'like', 'ha', 'destroy', 'legitimacy', 'thinghe', 'bad', 'lying', 'hole', 'every', 'little', 'fucking', 'thing', 'say', 'yet', 'people', 'believe', 'every', 'word', 'come', 'mind', 'thing', 'autism', 'made', 'wa', 'autistic', 'good', 'week', 'saying', 'stupid', 'shit', 'make', 'autistic', 'people', 'look', 'badhe', 'doe', 'every', 'little', 'thing', 'found', 'wa', 'deaf', 'would', 'make', 'wa', 'mishearing', 'shit', 'wa', 'retarded', 'despite', 'hearing', 'correctly', 'confirming', 'news', 'article', 'title', 'wa', 'fucking', 'publishedlast', 'least', 'ive', 'searching', 'job', 'last', 'yearsi', 'getting', 'anywhere', 'shit', 'ton', 'debt', 'driving', 'mentalwhile', 'diagnosed', 'depression', 'anxietyi', 'med', 'parent', 'think', 'dont', 'need', 'thati', 'amfaking', 'guessed', 'due', 'fucking', 'sociopath']
469
['going', 'die', 'unemployed', 'year', 'severe', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'could', 'manage', 'attend', 'interview', 'dont', 'hope', 'getting', 'job', 'life', 'mid', 'sm', 'ashamed', 'good', 'educational', 'qualification', 'still', 'cannot', 'get', 'job', 'today', 'went', 'job', 'interview', 'wa', 'fucking', 'joke', 'maybe', 'hr', 'laughed', 'left', 'ackward', 'answer', 'cant', 'even', 'think', 'clearly', 'mind', 'go', 'blank', 'stutter', 'stutter', 'stutter', 'humiliate', 'dont', 'courage', 'commit', 'suicide', 'somehow', 'manage', 'get', 'rid', 'wasted', 'lot', 'parent', 'friend', 'money', 'dont', 'want', 'trouble', 'anymore', 'tried', 'everything', 'medication', 'depression', 'nofap', 'yoga', 'working', 'last', 'one', 'year', 'everyday', 'without', 'fail', 'still', 'mind', 'normal', 'got', 'job', 'interview', 'tomorrow', 'last', 'try', 'best', 'hired', 'kill', 'sure', 'maybe', 'wa', 'born', 'die', 'like', 'without', 'happiness', 'throughout', 'life']
102
['want', 'end', 'lifei', 'sorry', 'sound', 'likei', 'ambegging', 'invite', 'really', 'notcurrently', 'one', 'talk', 'wont', 'judge', 'closest', 'friend', 'always', 'seems', 'make', 'ifi', 'wrong', 'time', 'shifty', 'feeling', 'feel', 'like', 'one', 'left', 'want', 'end']
30
['mental', 'breakdown', 'rn', 'cant', 'even', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'amsuch', 'fucking', 'pussy', 'really', 'find', 'help', 'please', 'get', 'help']
16
['year', 'old', 'sick', 'long', 'post', 'honestly', 'want', 'think', 'suicide', 'regular', 'occurrence', 'somehow', 'make', 'feel', 'happy', 'think', 'way', 'would', 'accomplish', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'plan', 'time', 'dont', 'want', 'world', 'favor', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'family', 'friend', 'involved', 'social', 'group', 'theyve', 'done', 'much', 'parent', 'early', 'midsixties', 'adopted', 'younger', 'brother', 'born', 'dont', 'feel', 'likei', 'worth', 'depression', 'ha', 'sisyphus', 'rock', 'past', 'seven', 'year', 'begin', 'brighten', 'bit', 'college', 'come', 'along', 'depression', 'hit', 'like', 'mack', 'truck', 'full', 'bricksi', 'amonly', 'lb', 'ive', 'trying', 'lose', 'weight', 'went', 'gained', 'back', 'two', 'week', 'selfhatred', 'depreciationi', 'amrepulsive', 'look', 'redeeming', 'quality', 'social', 'skill', 'would', 'make', 'forrest', 'gump', 'seem', 'like', 'casanova', 'havent', 'left', 'house', 'college', 'campus', 'month', 'cant', 'find', 'motivation', 'talk', 'people', 'go', 'gym', 'take', 'pride', 'school', 'work', 'thing', 'find', 'enjoyment', 'playing', 'rocket', 'league', 'rainbow', 'six', 'siege', 'suck', 'another', 'testament', 'worthlessness', 'reading', 'working', 'carsi', 'want', 'pas', 'away', 'sleepsorry', 'wasting', 'time']
134
['called', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'way', 'home', 'work', 'last', 'night', 'made', 'throwaway', 'account', 'many', 'family', 'member', 'know', 'main', 'last', 'night', 'work', 'wa', 'particularly', 'difficult', 'one', 'ideation', 'would', 'leave', 'head', 'night', 'didnt', 'know', 'night', 'kept', 'thinking', 'dont', 'go', 'another', 'one', 'day', 'could', 'drive', 'car', 'bridge', 'drive', 'exact', 'one', 'every', 'single', 'night', 'way', 'home', 'would', 'easy', 'got', 'work', 'car', 'broke', 'called', 'hotline', 'stay', 'phone', 'got', 'home', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'get', 'better', 'get', 'worse', 'ever', 'thought', 'possible', 'see', 'future', 'get', 'closer', 'closer', 'every', 'single', 'timei', 'lostthanks', 'letting', 'vent']
83
['long', 'story', 'need', 'helpadvice', 'yesterday', 'began', 'new', 'job', 'working', 'people', 'close', 'interpersonal', 'level', 'reason', 'chose', 'job', 'wa', 'felt', 'needed', 'use', 'degree', 'dont', 'nothing', 'worth', 'throughout', 'college', 'career', 'known', 'want', 'work', 'people', 'closely', 'wanted', 'research', 'oriented', 'come', 'home', 'job', 'something', 'snapped', 'head', 'feeling', 'way', 'either', 'suicide', 'suicide', 'nothing', 'look', 'hopeful', 'think', 'try', 'one', 'day', 'feel', 'like', 'cannot', 'subconsciously', 'ive', 'known', 'cant', 'something', 'like', 'along', 'also', 'needed', 'therapy', 'month', 'however', 'due', 'thing', 'happening', 'life', 'since', 'graduated', 'found', 'time', 'get', 'therapist', 'stupid', 'excuse', 'know', 'feel', 'need', 'quit', 'get', 'part', 'time', 'job', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'safe', 'work', 'seeing', 'therapist', 'immediately', 'extremely', 'worried', 'judgment', 'andor', 'family', 'wont', 'telling', 'time', 'soon', 'please', 'help', 'feel', 'way']
108
['amstarting', 'give', 'every', 'time', 'think', 'work', 'think', 'killing', 'trying', 'get', 'job', 'since', 'mid', 'july', 'ive', 'least', 'put', 'application', 'called', 'multiple', 'time', 'last', 'month', 'social', 'anxiety', 'phone', 'call', 'could', 'return', 'wa', 'clinical', 'trial', 'social', 'anxiety', 'dramatically', 'lightened', 'reason', 'killing', 'would', 'easier', 'wouldnt', 'make', 'money', 'stress', 'anymore', 'wouldnt', 'worry', 'medical', 'bill', 'future', 'wouldnt', 'think', 'school', 'cant', 'go', 'reach', 'yr', 'goali', 'trying', 'find', 'something', 'stand', 'foot', 'le', 'pain', 'excruciating', 'dont', 'thats', 'hard', 'without', 'college', 'degree', 'without', 'decent', 'experienceim', 'getting', 'strong', 'want', 'choke', 'death', 'plenty', 'thing', 'could', 'use']
84
['advice', 'hiim', 'year', 'old', 'currently', 'stage', 'life', 'need', 'consider', 'study', 'university', 'clue', 'study', 'thought', 'dentistry', 'seems', 'hard', 'cant', 'thats', 'want', 'commit', 'suicide', 'feel', 'serve', 'purpose', 'planet', 'motivation', 'work', 'study', 'dont', 'want', 'job', 'enjoy', 'sitiing', 'laptop', 'please', 'someone', 'ofeer', 'advide', 'thankssorry', 'bad', 'englisj', 'spain']
43
['visiting', 'new', 'psychiatrist', 'triggered', 'panic', 'attack', 'intense', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'please', 'help', 'really', 'suffering', 'right', 'kind', 'help']
16
['back', 'school', 'fuck', 'semesteri', 'going', 'kill', 'tried', 'failed', 'scared', 'anymore', 'ive', 'ruined', 'life', 'broken', 'key', 'friendshipsi', 'ama', 'shit', 'student', 'dont', 'plan', 'passing', 'course', 'wa', 'going', 'well', 'shit', 'hit', 'fan', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore']
32
['want', 'stab', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'continue', 'stress', 'much', 'work', 'responsibility', 'want', 'want', 'stab', 'nonlethal', 'fashion', 'dont', 'know']
20
['method', 'least', 'painful', 'le', 'chance', 'surviving', 'please', 'comment', 'helping', 'question', 'already', 'made', 'mind', 'planning', 'someone', 'care', 'wouldnt', 'tell', 'live', 'miserable', 'life', 'truly', 'appreciate', 'believe', 'care', 'suggest', 'le', 'painful', 'quick', 'method', 'even', 'quick', 'le', 'chance', 'surviving', 'take', 'guess']
37
['good', 'hotline', 'chronic', 'willness', 'yeah', 'called', 'one', 'told', 'guy', 'everything', 'told', 'couldnt', 'help', 'course', 'wa', 'right', 'thought', 'id', 'make', 'stab', 'dark', 'suicide', 'prevention', 'ha', 'nothing', 'offer', 'suffering', 'chronic', 'willnesses', 'cant', 'offer', 'hope', 'type', 'get', 'older', 'begin', 'see', 'life', 'hopeless', 'people', 'choice', 'bail']
42
['rambling', 'obsessive', 'thought', 'cried', 'car', 'today', 'unfair', 'wa', 'cant', 'kill', 'would', 'hurt', 'family', 'bad', 'brother', 'ha', 'learning', 'disability', 'obsessive', 'thought', 'social', 'anxiety', 'ptsd', 'psychosis', 'dad', 'likely', 'bipolar', 'ha', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'mom', 'nice', 'freaking', 'person', 'know', 'care', 'doesnt', 'make', 'obsessive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'stop', 'honestly', 'cant', 'imagine', 'much', 'would', 'destroy', 'said', 'furthest', 'ive', 'plannedi', 'amthinking', 'leave', 'thing', 'withi', 'amglad', 'done', 'much', 'head', 'isnt', 'realm', 'living', 'anymore', 'obsessive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'arent', 'even', 'ideation', 'like', 'girl', 'inside', 'telling', 'kill', 'die', 'every', 'second', 'repeat', 'every', 'waking', 'hour', 'bit', 'called', 'slut', 'whore', 'worthless', 'well', 'cant', 'shut', 'way', 'know', 'stop', 'thought', 'shut', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'take', 'much', 'longer']
101
['need', 'advice', 'texted', 'ex', 'cause', 'wa', 'pissed', 'blocked', 'number', 'feel', 'relieved', 'terrible', 'sure', 'right', 'thing', 'last', 'word', 'heart', 'broken', 'month', 'thought', 'suicide', 'time', 'period', 'wasnt', 'harsh', 'nice', 'either', 'made', 'clear', 'wa', 'hurt', 'intention', 'back', 'wa', 'tired', 'bigger', 'person', 'letting', 'feeling', 'build', 'inside', 'wa', 'unhealthy', 'said', 'thing', 'take', 'back', 'clearly', 'played', 'victim', 'still', 'made', 'seem', 'likei', 'amthe', 'bad', 'guy', 'broke', 'reason', 'petty', 'dont', 'know', 'right', 'thing', 'like', 'hate', 'still', 'love', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'couldnt', 'gain', 'anything', 'lose', 'telling', 'feel', 'option']
79
['wanna', 'talk', 'suicide', 'simple', 'enough']
5
['bpd', 'depressed', 'pregnant', 'hi', 'guy', 'first', 'time', 'writing', 'yesterday', 'found', 'wa', 'pregnant', 'guy', 'wa', 'seeing', 'funny', 'thing', 'pulled', 'also', 'took', 'plan', 'b', 'following', 'dayi', 'amonly', 'week', 'pregnant', 'amdefinitely', 'getting', 'abortion', 'thing', 'ive', 'much', 'life', 'mother', 'death', 'adoption', 'weird', 'father', 'economic', 'problem', 'housing', 'situation', 'dont', 'know', 'able', 'emotionally', 'survive', 'cant', 'understand', 'people', 'like', 'fucked', 'life', 'somebody', 'relate', 'thisthank']
57
['scared', 'inevitable', 'thought', 'clean', 'month', 'day', 'ago', 'made', 'mistake', 'bought', 'new', 'pack', 'razor', 'blade', 'making', 'point', 'leave', 'old', 'one', 'home', 'wa', 'determined', 'get', 'better', 'however', 'instead', 'ive', 'spending', 'time', 'always', 'skirting', 'around', 'excuse', 'cut', 'really', 'thought', 'wa', 'getting', 'better', 'recovering', 'self', 'harm', 'constant', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'ive', 'depressed', 'ever', 'unshakable', 'urge', 'kill', 'already', 'wont', 'go', 'away', 'driven', 'massive', 'breaking', 'point', 'several', 'timesi', 'sure', 'doi', 'amafraid', 'maybe', 'finally', 'getting', 'wa', 'meant', 'help']
70
['suicidal', 'sister', 'hospital', 'good', 'step', 'sister', 'release', 'hospital', 'social', 'service', 'observation', 'first', 'hour', 'help', 'family', 'short', 'long', 'term', 'effect', 'problem']
20
['think', 'time', 'go', 'ive', 'reached', 'breaking', 'point', 'week', 'feel', 'oddly', 'relieved', 'likei', 'amfinally', 'able', 'breathe', 'knowing', 'finally', 'get', 'experience', 'end', 'feel', 'peace']
22
['worth', 'iti', 'amtruly', 'noti', 'worth', 'air', 'breathe', 'hate', 'hate', 'ive', 'become', 'hate', 'person', 'see', 'mirror', 'ive', 'become', 'empty', 'lifeless', 'shell', 'leech', 'happiness', 'everything', 'ive', 'ruined', 'life', 'apathy', 'laziness', 'walked', 'depressing', 'worthless', 'life', 'filled', 'woe', 'cant', 'stand', 'anymore', 'used', 'think', 'wanted', 'get', 'better', 'dont', 'think', 'anymore', 'think', 'wanted', 'finally', 'give', 'ive', 'ruined', 'every', 'relationship', 'friendship', 'ever', 'even', 'mother', 'despises', 'regret', 'mei', 'amjobless', 'transportation', 'besides', 'bike', 'degree', 'weather', 'stuck', 'home', 'filled', 'conflict', 'negativity', 'thats', 'faulti', 'amthe', 'reason', 'conflict', 'ive', 'become', 'nothing', 'piece', 'shiti', 'amselfish', 'cant', 'even', 'right', 'dont', 'deserve', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'victim', 'becausei', 'one', 'ive', 'known', 'day', 'wa', 'coming', 'long', 'long', 'time', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'anyone', 'else', 'simply', 'existing', 'hurt', 'least', 'make', 'end', 'birthday', 'coming', 'maybe', 'thats', 'significant', 'maybe', 'time', 'finally', 'close', 'door', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whyi', 'amherei', 'sorry', 'world', 'truly', 'better', 'without']
132
['coward', 'killing', 'yet', 'title', 'say', 'much', 'coward', 'thinking', 'committing', 'suicide', 'month', 'cant', 'seem', 'mother', 'know', 'want', 'best', 'word', 'say', 'make', 'think', 'doesnt', 'care', 'friend', 'cant', 'even', 'determine', 'truly', 'friend', 'bunch', 'fake', 'get', 'bullied', 'school', 'almost', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'video', 'game', 'thing', 'make', 'pain', 'go', 'away', 'get', 'addicted', 'grade', 'plummetted', 'cant', 'even', 'see', 'clearly', 'know', 'people', 'say', 'look', 'homeless', 'people', 'better', 'money', 'cant', 'buy', 'happinessi', 'amno', 'longer', 'happy', 'spend', 'time', 'school', 'depressed', 'get', 'home', 'mother', 'constantly', 'scold', 'nothing', 'even', 'like', 'still', 'think', 'pain', 'right', 'carry', 'someone', 'else', 'would', 'even', 'care', 'disappeared', 'world', 'would', 'even', 'care', 'hang', 'right', 'know', 'could', 'cause', 'pain', 'thani', 'amexperiencing', 'right', 'lose', 'son', 'basically', 'thing', 'keeping', 'committing', 'suicide', 'fear']
111
['really', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'let', 'start', 'sayingi', 'ama', 'teenager', 'ive', 'moment', 'happiness', 'sadness', 'everything', 'many', 'time', 'felt', 'suicidal', 'today', 'take', 'cake', 'recently', 'started', 'high', 'school', 'one', 'friend', 'class', 'wa', 'yet', 'decided', 'change', 'class', 'could', 'friend', 'wa', 'class', 'middle', 'school', 'well', 'changed', 'class', 'treat', 'like', 'dust', 'like', 'dont', 'exist', 'cant', 'believe', 'made', 'situation', 'bad', 'terrible', 'one', 'friend', 'talk', 'literally', 'none', 'day', 'school', 'alone', 'dont', 'thinki', 'amable', 'change', 'class', 'need', 'replacement', 'person', 'take', 'place', 'really', 'might', 'seem', 'like', 'minor', 'thing', 'youll', 'make', 'friend', 'new', 'class', 'wont', 'full', 'scum', 'year', 'everyday', 'front', 'left', 'school', 'early', 'wanted', 'cry', 'wasnt', 'able', 'sit', 'longer', 'mental', 'breakdown', 'today', 'stood', 'train', 'track', 'thinking', 'end', 'decided', 'go', 'back', 'house', 'appears', 'teacher', 'called', 'mom', 'argument', 'thought', 'would', 'get', 'better', 'didnt', 'seems', 'like', 'one', 'care', 'feeli', 'amcompletely', 'alone', 'really', 'make', 'want', 'put', 'end', 'end', 'die', 'basically', 'like', 'shortcut', 'dont', 'know', 'really', 'dont', 'simple', 'thing', 'fix', 'change', 'class', 'back', 'old', 'one', 'piece', 'shit', 'teacher', 'dont', 'give', 'single', 'fuck', 'fuck', 'shit', 'man']
159
['please', 'readi', 'ambreaking', 'hey', 'lately', 'sad', 'suicidal', 'plan', 'ending', 'life', 'day', 'due', 'reason', 'shall', 'say', 'first', 'problem', 'would', 'thati', 'amlonely', 'want', 'girlfriend', 'someone', 'hold', 'side', 'wheni', 'amsad', 'someone', 'talk', 'video', 'game', 'anime', 'feel', 'lonely', 'friend', 'kissing', 'fucking', 'random', 'girlsi', 'amhere', 'beating', 'sobbing', 'bed', 'make', 'girl', 'laugh', 'best', 'friend', 'never', 'want', 'date', 'girl', 'sayi', 'amcute', 'hate', 'dream', 'girl', 'dating', 'wake', 'realize', 'spot', 'bed', 'cold', 'amstarting', 'grade', 'day', 'friend', 'family', 'say', 'imma', 'love', 'dont', 'known', 'anybody', 'new', 'school', 'trend', 'dart', 'boi', 'canadian', 'fuck', 'bois', 'smoke', 'cigarette', 'call', 'dart', 'smoke', 'occasionally', 'skater', 'nice', 'dick', 'last', 'year', 'dart', 'bois', 'loved', 'cant', 'bothered', 'getting', 'trouble', 'police', 'breaking', 'guy', 'arm', 'fight', 'lol', 'hate', 'life', 'plane', 'boring', 'made', 'post', 'ago']
113
['without', 'psychiatrist', 'want', 'kill', 'miss', 'much', 'developed', 'intense', 'feeling', 'half', 'year', 'let', 'go', 'month', 'ago', 'thing', 'get', 'school', 'work', 'living', 'delusion', 'see', 'future', 'study', 'hard', 'get', 'back', 'university', 'worksi', 'feel', 'pathetic', 'actually', 'thought', 'buying', 'rope', 'hanging', 'myselfi', 'sure', 'would', 'though']
40
['gawd', 'help', 'hurricane', 'etc', 'hurricane', 'irma', 'bearing', 'u', 'unlike', 'people', 'money', 'go', 'get', 'hurricane', 'suppliesi', 'amout', 'food', 'stampsi', 'amunemployed', 'car', 'posted', 'facebook', 'help', 'one', 'fucking', 'relative', 'ha', 'offered', 'help', 'one', 'friend', 'outside', 'facebook', 'ha', 'tried', 'offer', 'help', 'suggestion', 'unable', 'provide', 'tangible', 'help', 'called', 'special', 'need', 'shelter', 'plus', 'transport', 'rely', 'medical', 'device', 'stay', 'alive', 'sleep', 'ive', 'heard', 'nothing', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'havent', 'wanted', 'live', 'yearsi', 'afraid', 'dyingi', 'amafraid', 'hurt', 'dying', 'absolutely', 'shock', 'absolutely', 'freaking', 'alone', 'life', 'virtually', 'nobody', 'care', 'best', 'friend', 'said', 'yesterday', 'nobody', 'want', 'hear', 'shes', 'right', 'nobody', 'care', 'dont', 'want', 'life', 'anymore', 'wherei', 'going', 'fucking', 'hell', 'one', 'person', 'one', 'relative', 'give', 'one', 'flying', 'fuck', 'ive', 'cutting', 'providing', 'relief', 'calm', 'usually', 'doe', 'maybe', 'execute', 'plan', 'thing', 'make', 'landfall']
118
['balconyi', 'amworking', 'th', 'top', 'floor', 'office', 'building', 'past', 'day', 'ive', 'used', 'break', 'go', 'balcony', 'know', 'breath', 'fresh', 'air', 'turn', 'tempting', 'dive', 'first', 'day', 'went', 'wa', 'actually', 'shocked', 'instinctively', 'went', 'halfway', 'handrailone', 'day', 'actually', 'manage']
34
['lost', 'casino', 'wanna', 'fuckin', 'diei', 'amsuch', 'retarded', 'loser']
8
['sometimes', 'get', 'hard', 'happy', 'positive', 'drowning', 'need', 'humanshaped', 'lifeboat', 'hold', 'close', 'cling', 'desperately', 'warmth', 'safety', 'thats', 'feel', 'today', 'guessi', 'try', 'much', 'nice', 'positive', 'person', 'good', 'person', 'check', 'post', 'history', 'dont', 'believe', 'todayi', 'strong', 'enough', 'owni', 'need', 'helpi', 'desperately', 'long', 'someone', 'hold', 'take', 'unconditionally', 'clingy', 'insecure', 'horrified', 'lost', 'dont', 'want', 'unhappy']
50
['ballet', 'frustration', 'hi', 'know', 'silly', 'ballet', 'dancer', 'quite', 'year', 'bad', 'etoile', 'either', 'anybody', 'ballet', 'dancer', 'know', 'somebody', 'sure', 'know', 'mean', 'said', 'really', 'frustrating', 'every', 'rehearsal', 'class', 'end', 'said', 'silly', 'something', 'cannot', 'take', 'head', 'day', 'fantasy', 'putting', 'rope', 'around', 'neck', 'hit', 'wall', 'hand', 'bleed', 'sometimes', 'dance', 'enjoy', 'time', 'get', 'frustrated', 'seeking', 'perfection', 'thought', 'many', 'time', 'quiting', 'little', 'voice', 'head', 'perhaps', 'try', 'may', 'archive', 'keep', 'trying', 'know', 'stubborn', 'position', 'thanks', 'reading', 'expecting', 'amy', 'response', 'needed', 'said']
74
['amliving', 'life', 'amhappy', 'yeah', 'timei', 'amcontemplating', 'suicide', 'ive', 'told', 'life', 'selfish', 'thing', 'one', 'could', 'ending', 'life', 'really', 'selfish', 'continuing', 'live', 'would', 'worse', 'top', 'reason', 'want', 'commit', 'suicide', 'follows', 'school', 'first', 'year', 'public', 'school', 'ive', 'homeschooled', 'life', 'thati', 'ncva', 'grade', 'plummeted', 'even', 'though', 'spend', 'lot', 'time', 'schoolwork', 'homeschooler', 'test', 'result', 'college', 'level', 'public', 'schooleri', 'ambelow', 'average', 'absolutely', 'taken', 'schedule', 'number', 'one', 'reason', 'want', 'die', 'mom', 'certainly', 'know', 'make', 'free', 'time', 'miserable', 'treat', 'nobody', 'kindly', 'even', 'dad', 'ha', 'clue', 'raise', 'someone', 'autism', 'later', 'yeah', 'quite', 'frankly', 'shes', 'btch', 'sibling', 'know', 'number', 'stereotypical', 'opinion', 'selfish', 'selfcentered', 'bratty', 'sibling', 'ever', 'least', 'youngest', 'brother', 'cute', 'schedule', 'free', 'time', 'lie', 'parent', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'reddit', 'account', 'would', 'kill', 'found', 'least', 'would', 'happy', 'disorder', 'autism', 'sure', 'bipolar', 'autism', 'actually', 'like', 'although', 'doe', 'make', 'social', 'life', 'awkward', 'end', 'day', 'wouldnt', 'lose', 'could', 'bipolar', 'hand', 'would', 'gladly', 'lose', 'worst', 'part', 'nobody', 'else', 'know', 'itsorry', 'wa', 'bit', 'weird', 'like', 'lay', 'thing', 'mechanically', 'could', 'say', 'autism', 'superpower', 'life', 'hell', 'life', 'wheni', 'amat', 'church', 'dont', 'even', 'consider', 'christian', 'wheni', 'amat', 'church', 'help', 'childrens', 'ministry', 'get', 'see', 'friend', 'main', 'reason', 'havent', 'committed', 'suicide', 'yet', 'aside', 'pussy', 'play', 'video', 'game', 'yeah', 'church', 'awesome', 'around', 'blast', 'unfortunately', 'life', 'isnt', 'enough', 'keep', 'goingi', 'nearly', 'jumped', 'wall', 'wensday', 'dont', 'know', 'long', 'follow', 'itps', 'thanks', 'read', 'least', 'someone', 'care']
211
['turn', 'ive', 'psychiatric', 'hospital', 'time', 'amcoming', 'soon', 'ive', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'time', 'could', 'imagine', 'ive', 'raped', 'multiple', 'time', 'friend', 'family', 'hate', 'ambroke', 'make', 'worsei', 'amalso', 'resistant', 'medication', 'talking', 'therapy', 'dont', 'work', 'anyone', 'know', 'leaf', 'alone', 'rock', 'bottom', 'anyone', 'got', 'solid', 'advice', 'causei', 'amlost']
42
['probably', 'kill', 'week', 'throwaway', 'obvious', 'reason', 'dont', 'want', 'friend', 'know', 'theyll', 'try', 'stop', 'probably', 'also', 'posting', 'subreddits', 'helped', 'say', 'thanksabout', 'month', 'ago', 'wa', 'dumped', 'first', 'girl', 'ever', 'truly', 'loved', 'wa', 'getting', 'helped', 'depression', 'starting', 'feel', 'better', 'side', 'everything', 'different', 'since', 'ive', 'gotten', 'back', 'college', 'back', 'near', 'ive', 'stopped', 'going', 'counseling', 'stopped', 'talking', 'everyone', 'howi', 'acting', 'likei', 'really', 'happy', 'think', 'slicing', 'neck', 'open', 'least', 'every', 'minutei', 'cant', 'focus', 'school', 'friendsi', 'afraid', 'leave', 'room', 'school', 'small', 'dont', 'want', 'see', 'instead', 'rot', 'away', 'personal', 'hell', 'friend', 'rarely', 'ask', 'hang', 'talk', 'dont', 'much', 'social', 'lifeeveryday', 'think', 'ex', 'shes', 'first', 'thing', 'think', 'wake', 'last', 'go', 'sleep', 'hurt', 'much', 'see', 'happy', 'well', 'without', 'whilei', 'still', 'upset', 'everything', 'guess', 'depression', 'doesnt', 'make', 'better', 'wonder', 'even', 'still', 'think', 'meive', 'blowing', 'class', 'week', 'ive', 'gone', 'maybe', 'class', 'sit', 'around', 'watch', 'stupid', 'video', 'listen', 'sad', 'musici', 'wa', 'told', 'would', 'get', 'better', 'month', 'id', 'thats', 'clearly', 'casei', 'sick', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'even', 'wheni', 'thinking', 'always', 'something', 'else', 'make', 'upset', 'nothing', 'going', 'life', 'suck', 'right', 'nowso', 'yeah', 'week', 'probably', 'end', 'lifei', 'amjust', 'going', 'take', 'time', 'say', 'goodbye', 'people', 'matter', 'take', 'quiz', 'thats', 'last', 'thing', 'need']
182
['small', 'size', 'pushing', 'towards', 'breaking', 'pointi', 'ama', 'fat', 'young', 'adulti', 'good', 'many', 'thing', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'know', 'thing', 'lifestyle', 'change', 'changingi', 'ameating', 'le', 'food', 'amworking', 'morei', 'trying', 'bur', 'thats', 'problem', 'ive', 'always', 'self', 'image', 'issue', 'fat', 'alli', 'amself', 'conscious', 'every', 'part', 'body', 'recently', 'ive', 'come', 'realization', 'small', 'penis', 'get', 'might', 'big', 'deal', 'lot', 'peoole', 'change', 'hygiene', 'weight', 'enough', 'work', 'get', 'better', 'never', 'change', 'whats', 'underi', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'think', 'though', 'feel', 'like', 'genetics', 'making', 'let', 'also', 'parent', 'get', 'future', 'partner', 'would', 'even', 'able', 'pas', 'legacy', 'parent', 'left', 'another', 'letting', 'letting', 'partner', 'get', 'sex', 'big', 'penis', 'penis', 'small', 'mean', 'lot', 'got', 'bad', 'roll', 'late', 'reroll', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'thinj', 'le', 'reason', 'find', 'living', 'anyone', 'help', 'please', 'help']
116
['alone', 'introspective', 'hate', 'way', 'great', 'marriage', 'husband', 'amazing', 'supportive', 'comfortable', 'financially', 'family', 'crazy', 'shit', 'going', 'generally', 'loving', 'people', 'friend', 'plentiful', 'kindi', 'ameducated', 'easy', 'eye', 'turn', 'soon', 'dont', 'think', 'suicide', 'urge', 'wheni', 'amstressed', 'emotional', 'kind', 'accepted', 'end', 'whenever', 'thing', 'get', 'muchbeen', 'dealing', 'kind', 'covert', 'depression', 'awhile', 'self', 'harm', 'behavior', 'long', 'remember', 'suicide', 'always', 'feel', 'like', 'decentreasonable', 'option', 'like', 'leaving', 'party', 'didnt', 'really', 'want', 'anyways', 'constantly', 'mind', 'way', 'spent', 'evening', 'today', 'wa', 'heading', 'home', 'casually', 'thought', 'walking', 'front', 'bus', 'didnt', 'wouldnt', 'want', 'husband', 'family', 'deal', 'fallout', 'would', 'people', 'say', 'loldoes', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'youre', 'mainly', 'wearing', 'mask', 'loved', 'one', 'dont', 'jostle', 'idea', 'perfect', 'lifejust', 'looking', 'insight', 'guess']
106
['hate', 'idea', 'suicide', 'dont', 'want', 'thing', 'keep', 'going', 'way', 'also', 'dont', 'think', 'changed', 'superman', 'soi', 'amat', 'loss', 'nowall', 'say', 'feeling', 'worthi', 'corner', 'dont', 'even', 'bad', 'cant', 'cope', 'truly', 'believe', 'shit', 'go', 'right', 'window', 'suck']
34
['feeling', 'trapped', 'hello', 'everyone', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amwriting', 'guess', 'catch', 'contemplating', 'thing', 'pain', 'great', 'feel', 'broke', 'something', 'main', 'reason', 'dont', 'feel', 'due', 'climate', 'change', 'going', 'future', 'child', 'live', 'happily', 'child', 'make', 'break', 'every', 'time', 'see', 'coming', 'back', 'work', 'helping', 'feed', 'every', 'smile', 'cuddle', 'like', 'stab', 'heart', 'know', 'need', 'need', 'ok', 'fight', 'dont', 'know', 'continue', 'like']
55
['enough', 'enough', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'wat', 'boyfriend', 'year', 'ha', 'left', 'nothing', 'life', 'worth', 'livin', 'already', 'self', 'harm', 'feel', 'like', 'ending']
20
['death', 'always', 'told', 'people', 'help', 'friend', 'dont', 'response', 'message', 'get', 'scared', 'family', 'way', 'know', 'talk', 'yelling', 'get', 'frustrated', 'try', 'help', 'bother', 'pointi', 'ama', 'waste', 'space', 'worthless', 'human', 'wa', 'probably', 'mistake', 'school', 'stressing', 'graduate', 'week', 'exam', 'wait', 'see', 'whether', 'good', 'enough', 'accepted', 'uni', 'good', 'enough', 'wont', 'achieve', 'anything', 'life', 'bother', 'continue', 'living', 'amscared', 'never', 'anything', 'right', 'probably', 'fail', 'killing', 'thing', 'available', 'would', 'result', 'death', 'health', 'implication', 'mask', 'feel', 'rest', 'life', 'get', 'anxiety', 'med', 'hopefully', 'make', 'function', 'like', 'normal', 'person', 'tried', 'nearly', 'year', 'suffering', 'sum', 'everything', 'hate', 'everything', 'good', 'enough', 'anything', 'dont', 'deserve', 'anything', 'life', 'since', 'pointless', 'worthless', 'human', 'envy', 'people', 'death', 'wish', 'wa']
102
['dont', 'know', 'whati', 'amliving', 'anymore', 'wa', 'time', 'would', 'buy', 'thing', 'online', 'wait', 'package', 'arrive', 'used', 'give', 'something', 'look', 'forward', 'nothing', 'expensive', 'small', 'thing', 'pc', 'acccessory', 'maybe', 'know', 'really', 'nothing', 'look', 'forward', 'end', 'every', 'package', 'old', 'suffer', 'cant', 'really', 'find', 'anything', 'keep', 'going']
42
['stay', 'go', 'today', 'day', 'second', 'thought', 'tool', 'backpack', 'deed', 'work', 'want', 'go', 'though', 'hate', 'much', 'feel', 'like', 'life', 'irreparable', 'place', 'want', 'ball', 'paranoia', 'stomach', 'go', 'away', 'scared', 'damagei', 'going', 'leave', 'behind', 'empathy', 'left', 'family', 'could', 'care', 'le', 'parent', 'sibling', 'going', 'feel', 'girlfriend', 'going', 'happy', 'twin', 'daughter', 'month', 'old', 'people', 'actually', 'care', 'understand', 'know', 'daddy', 'isnt', 'around', 'anymore', 'playtime', 'funny', 'face', 'snuggle', 'want', 'push', 'cant', 'cant', 'handle', 'emotion', 'constant', 'whirlwind', 'mind', 'anymore', 'piece', 'shit', 'even', 'thinking', 'office', 'right', 'want', 'may', 'go', 'hospital', 'instead', 'havent', 'decided', 'yet', 'either', 'way', 'getting', 'settled', 'tonight']
90
['set', 'date', 'nov', 'advil', 'bleachi', 'amthirteen', 'cut', 'feel', 'like', 'failure', 'disappointment', 'everyday', 'wake', 'alive', 'day', 'money', 'energy', 'breath', 'wastedi', 'amfat', 'dont', 'deserve', 'live', 'guessi', 'amkind', 'peace', 'everything', 'set', 'plan', 'thats', 'probably', 'detailed', 'shiti', 'amselfish', 'think', 'way', 'know', 'people', 'worse', 'care', 'much', 'give', 'attention', 'younger', 'sister', 'shes', 'kind', 'spoiled', 'shes', 'really', 'smart', 'talented', 'wasted', 'time', 'wa', 'younger', 'didnt', 'work', 'hard', 'enough', 'ran', 'away', 'home', 'wa', 'nine', 'heading', 'railroad', 'track', 'run', 'away', 'mom', 'dad', 'dragged', 'stair', 'tried', 'hit', 'hobby', 'horse', 'wa', 'barefoot', 'wa', 'dragged', 'home', 'police', 'started', 'depressed', 'day', 'would', 'withdraw', 'family', 'friend', 'mom', 'fought', 'often', 'cared', 'high', 'math', 'grouping', 'high', 'grade', 'made', 'sure', 'didnt', 'read', 'much', 'fiction', 'pushed', 'pile', 'non', 'fiction', 'book', 'told', 'wasnt', 'smart', 'denied', 'ever', 'said', 'anything', 'confronted', 'started', 'cut', 'turned', 'eleven', 'scratch', 'blood', 'found', 'glass', 'scalpel', 'cut', 'deeply', 'mom', 'found', 'gave', 'silent', 'treatment', 'day', 'found', 'halfway', 'railing', 'kennedy', 'center', 'roof', 'dc', 'school', 'trip', 'regret', 'jumping', 'cut', 'cried', 'bottle', 'pill', 'wrote', 'five', 'separate', 'note', 'hidden', 'room', 'made', 'plan', 'jump', 'golden', 'gate', 'bridge', 'saw', 'therapist', 'nowi', 'amdone', 'life', 'little', 'month', 'left', 'ive', 'told', 'stay', 'strong', 'keep', 'mask', 'ive', 'keeping', 'four', 'year', 'crumbling', 'ive', 'given', 'hope']
185
['likei', 'amstuck', 'hello', 'never', 'thought', 'id', 'find', 'posting', 'asi', 'ready', 'die', 'although', 'live', 'everyday', 'wishing', 'already', 'wa', 'never', 'born', 'since', 'wa', 'second', 'grade', 'ive', 'feeling', 'sadness', 'baseless', 'feeling', 'grew', 'quite', 'loved', 'still', 'wasnt', 'junior', 'high', 'school', 'year', 'really', 'started', 'feeling', 'way', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'way', 'everyone', 'else', 'doe', 'dont', 'want', 'work', 'job', 'live', 'society', 'rule', 'want', 'go', 'direction', 'cant', 'live', 'world', 'thats', 'run', 'money', 'motivation', 'work', 'earn', 'want', 'go', 'cant', 'feel', 'likei', 'amjust', 'wasting', 'timei', 'gonna', 'anything', 'wish', 'wa', 'still', 'endless', 'nothing', 'prebirth', 'existing', 'everything', 'everyone', 'insteadi', 'amstuck', 'motivation', 'take', 'anywhere', 'waiting', 'day', 'parent', 'kick', 'becausei', 'anything', 'disappear', 'forget', 'ever']
100
['afraid', 'cant', 'anything', 'isnt', 'already', 'part', 'routine', 'recently', 'thing', 'become', 'difficult', 'well', 'going', 'work', 'thing', 'alone', 'anymore', 'used', 'able', 'go', 'ti', 'store', 'alone', 'rely', 'brother', 'anxiety', 'badi', 'afraid', 'people', 'think', 'perceive', 'every', 'little', 'thing', 'could', 'go', 'wrong', 'even', 'know', 'improbable', 'trouble', 'sleeping', 'lay', 'bed', 'thinking', 'worst', 'case', 'scenario', 'thing', 'even', 'though', 'theyre', 'almost', 'impossibleit', 'wouldnt', 'bad', 'anxiety', 'wa', 'problem', 'ive', 'known', 'thati', 'amtransgender', 'cant', 'really', 'anything', 'becausei', 'afraid', 'plenty', 'people', 'community', 'willing', 'able', 'help', 'theyve', 'given', 'good', 'advice', 'afraid', 'anything', 'plusi', 'ampoor', 'work', 'retail', 'theyve', 'cutting', 'hour', 'significantly', 'corporate', 'bullshit', 'wa', 'already', 'making', 'little', 'worsei', 'amalso', 'alcoholic', 'tend', 'prioritize', 'buying', 'alcohol', 'anything', 'elseive', 'suicidal', 'long', 'time', 'past', 'month', 'much', 'worse', 'id', 'putting', 'hadnt', 'found', 'easy', 'method', 'thing', 'bad', 'anything', 'think', 'itll', 'kill', 'hell', 'almost', 'got', 'excited', 'heard', 'irma', 'supposed', 'one', 'powerful', 'storm', 'hit', 'u', 'live', 'coast', 'probably', 'lose', 'lot', 'energy', 'get', 'regardlessi', 'amprobably', 'going', 'kill', 'soon', 'cant', 'deal', 'problem', 'much', 'handle']
151
['life', 'repeat', 'way', 'stop', 'every', 'year', 'think', 'thought', 'nothing', 'cry', 'tear', 'want', 'year', 'last', 'year', 'want', 'time', 'last', 'time', 'want', 'body', 'would', 'rather', 'hang', 'around', 'suspended', 'animation', 'want', 'turn', 'anyone', 'help', 'stop', 'noise', 'please', 'send', 'message']
36
['suicide', 'vent', 'wish', 'could', 'escape', 'ami', 'dissatisfied', 'feel', 'broken', 'blah', 'blah', 'getting', 'better', 'much', 'work', 'brain', 'doesnt', 'work', 'like', 'supposed', 'feeling', 'broken', 'hard', 'accept', 'hard', 'laugh', 'hard', 'joke', 'hard', 'talk', 'hard', 'connect', 'people', 'hard', 'stop', 'feeling', 'anxietyi', 'ama', 'whining', 'child', 'would', 'rather', 'complain', 'unfair', 'life', 'something', 'feel', 'impossible', 'people', 'way', 'worse', 'people', 'didnt', 'even', 'get', 'live', 'long', 'fuck', 'problem']
59
['troubled', 'mind', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'depression', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'wax', 'wane', 'past', 'year', 'feel', 'unable', 'deal', 'stress', 'life', 'brings', 'feel', 'inadequate', 'useless', 'despite', 'relatively', 'smart', 'school', 'degree', 'chemistry', 'feel', 'never', 'able', 'achieve', 'dream', 'becoming', 'doctor', 'brings', 'much', 'contemplated', 'killing', 'many', 'time', 'know', 'many', 'people', 'think', 'much', 'better', 'probably', 'even', 'constantly', 'battle', 'toxic', 'thought', 'keep', 'coming', 'back', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'alive', 'anymore', 'wont', 'able', 'let', 'anyone', 'future', 'mean', 'get', 'done', 'family', 'really', 'love', 'shouldnt', 'cry', 'like', 'little', 'bitch', 'appreciate', 'love', 'something', 'wrong', 'braini', 'person', 'used']
83
['dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'really', 'feel', 'like', 'leaving', 'life', 'forever', 'sure', 'one', 'care']
13
['cant', 'keep', 'dont', 'care', 'main', 'account', 'dont', 'want', 'spill', 'life', 'gut', 'know', 'ive', 'struggled', 'severe', 'diagnosed', 'clinical', 'depression', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'attempt', 'year', 'multitude', 'different', 'contributing', 'factorsive', 'tried', 'seeking', 'help', 'ive', 'tried', 'various', 'treatment', 'method', 'keep', 'trying', 'look', 'reason', 'find', 'thing', 'help', 'find', 'last', 'desire', 'live', 'want', 'make', 'desperately', 'want', 'feel', 'way', 'hate', 'cycle', 'back', 'depression', 'whenever', 'ive', 'making', 'actual', 'positive', 'progress', 'life', 'myselfam', 'worth', 'coming', 'side', 'worth', 'getting', 'dont', 'believe', 'win', 'getting', 'increasingly', 'hard', 'pick', 'try', 'day', 'moment', 'feel', 'impending', 'doom', 'knowing', 'continue', 'along', 'downward', 'spiral', 'wont', 'able', 'find', 'effort', 'make', 'choice', 'keep', 'fighting']
94
['day', 'curly', 'hair', 'beautiful', 'curly', 'hair', 'never', 'really', 'saw', 'nice', 'wa', 'later', 'life', 'saw', 'woman', 'colour', 'rock', 'curl', 'healthy', 'bouncyas', 'child', 'grew', 'predominantly', 'caucasian', 'town', 'wa', 'one', 'afrocentric', 'boy', 'elementary', 'school', 'one', 'mixed', 'girl', 'mix', 'however', 'japanese', 'british', 'mix', 'irish', 'bajan', 'mother', 'never', 'really', 'knew', 'take', 'care', 'hair', 'grew', 'older', 'grandmother', 'told', 'cut', 'hair', 'thats', 'true', 'though', 'wa', 'father', 'told', 'cut', 'hair', 'dont', 'know', 'stuck', 'story', 'longi', 'wa', 'often', 'bullied', 'skin', 'colour', 'hair', 'couldnt', 'understand', 'didnt', 'get', 'joke', 'wa', 'joke', 'mother', 'blonde', 'green', 'eye', 'green', 'eye', 'brown', 'hair', 'skin', 'dark', 'yet', 'wa', 'always', 'compared', 'shiti', 'remember', 'girl', 'hit', 'pulled', 'finger', 'back', 'rose', 'hand', 'answer', 'question', 'cried', 'course', 'teacher', 'asked', 'response', 'wa', 'simple', 'shes', 'different', 'tried', 'point', 'prejudice', 'statement', 'wa', 'scolded', 'sent', 'back', 'classroomanyways', 'later', 'permed', 'hair', 'straightened', 'wa', 'destroyed', 'short', 'dry', 'hair', 'finally', 'adult', 'life', 'year', 'age', 'decided', 'grow', 'took', 'long', 'repair', 'itselfi', 'wore', 'hair', 'work', 'today', 'threw', 'together', 'shaggiest', 'outfit', 'existence', 'paired', 'two', 'dollar', 'flip', 'flop', 'headed', 'outmy', 'day', 'wa', 'nothing', 'eventful', 'new', 'one', 'coworker', 'even', 'said', 'look', 'like', 'got', 'smashed', 'last', 'night', 'however', 'towards', 'end', 'day', 'many', 'girl', 'complimenting', 'hair', 'saying', 'healthy', 'looked', 'became', 'really', 'self', 'conscious', 'thati', 'hate', 'standing', 'fidgeted', 'hair', 'way', 'home', 'thought', 'hair', 'looked', 'ugly', 'day', 'kept', 'saying', 'pretty', 'wasit', 'add', 'feeling', 'like', 'everything', 'fake', 'perception', 'incredibly', 'flawed', 'wa', 'comparable', 'see', 'fat', 'person', 'tell', 'fit', 'like', 'lieanyways', 'acceptance', 'peer', 'compliment', 'doesnt', 'change', 'anything', 'still', 'feel', 'blurryon', 'upside', 'finally', 'beautiful', 'curly', 'hair', 'day', 'counting']
238
['actually', 'stop', 'dont', 'care', 'high', 'apparently', 'wa', 'much', 'ask', 'born', 'world', 'without', 'mutilated', 'within', 'week', 'wa', 'much', 'ask', 'therapist', 'didnt', 'thing', 'finished', 'puberty', 'wa', 'much', 'ask', 'live', 'car', 'crash', 'killed', 'instead', 'left', 'like', 'invalid', 'piece', 'shit']
36
['nothing', 'live', 'dont', 'want', 'alive', 'kill']
6
['hopeless', 'falling', 'friend', 'beginning', 'year', 'talked', 'intermittently', 'since', 'week', 'ago', 'wa', 'shown', 'screenshots', 'trash', 'talking', 'something', 'wa', 'control', 'apparently', 'started', 'arguement', 'two', 'cut', 'tie', 'entirelywhat', 'wrong', 'never', 'mentioned', 'anything', 'didnt', 'even', 'confront', 'message', 'doe', 'even', 'hurt', 'havent', 'spoken', 'month', 'shouldnt', 'carejust', 'month', 'hating', 'courage', 'talk', 'ha', 'lead', 'feel', 'fucking', 'hopeless']
50
['amfeeling', 'really', 'lowi', 'ama', 'junior', 'highschool', 'ive', 'first', 'day', 'school', 'year', 'old', 'boyi', 'ama', 'competitive', 'swimmer', 'living', 'canada', 'training', 'go', 'prestigious', 'school', 'u', 'recently', 'ive', 'lost', 'motivation', 'well', 'swimming', 'school', 'anything', 'feed', 'success', 'thinki', 'amdepressed', 'todayi', 'amfeeling', 'really', 'low', 'ive', 'sad', 'today', 'wa', 'first', 'day', 'idea', 'taking', 'life', 'wasnt', 'bad', 'one', 'probably', 'wont', 'kill', 'knowing', 'brain', 'got', 'onto', 'topic', 'wanting', 'km', 'scare', 'dont', 'know', 'doi', 'lost', 'feel', 'like', 'empty', 'one', 'really', 'good', 'friend', 'think', 'getting', 'really', 'close', 'ex', 'school', 'started', 'friend', 'seem', 'fake', 'one', 'dimensional', 'distant', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'amasking', 'post', 'thinki', 'amdepressed', 'amjust', 'lost']
95
['depression', 'getting', 'better', 'still', 'often', 'fantasising', 'jumping', 'increased', 'energy', 'motivation', 'full', 'rectification', 'problem', 'antidepressant', 'black', 'box', 'warning', 'think', 'might']
19
['asi', 'amrecovering', 'unwll', 'feeling', 'lonely', 'lately', 'thing', 'rough', 'medical', 'expense', 'hospitalization', 'willness', 'vomiting', 'coughing', 'etc', 'exhausted', 'today', 'wa', 'first', 'mostly', 'well', 'day', 'realized', 'lonely', 'everyone', 'life', 'message', 'message', 'check', 'many', 'noticed', 'people', 'hate', 'hearingi', 'amunwell', 'thats', 'share', 'lately', 'maybe', 'thats', 'miss', 'people', 'amstarting', 'think', 'suicidal', 'feel', 'disconnected', 'world', 'anyway', 'put', 'somewhere', 'feel', 'anywhere', 'else', 'share']
55
['parent', 'tried', 'kill', 'last', 'week', 'craziest', 'week', 'whole', 'life', 'wa', 'called', 'parent', 'rushed', 'hospital', 'tried', 'kill', 'whole', 'situation', 'thats', 'basically', 'flipped', 'life', 'upside']
23
['tried', 'kill', 'failed', 'last', 'night', 'tried', 'kill', 'planning', 'awhile', 'finally', 'built', 'courage', 'take', 'plunge', 'method', 'choice', 'wa', 'oxycodone', 'mom', 'whole', 'bunch', 'shoulder', 'surgery', 'didnt', 'take', 'mg', 'mgi', 'havent', 'taken', 'oxycodone', 'wisdom', 'teeth', 'year', 'ago', 'tolerance', 'wa', 'literally', 'zero', 'didnt', 'count', 'many', 'took', 'based', 'many', 'left', 'v', 'many', 'started', 'believe', 'consumed', 'mg', 'single', 'dosei', 'big', 'guy', 'lb', 'know', 'people', 'take', 'way', 'throughout', 'day', 'doseage', 'thats', 'built', 'solid', 'tolerance', 'admittedly', 'hadnt', 'done', 'much', 'research', 'much', 'shouldve', 'enough', 'kill', 'remembered', 'seeing', 'somewhere', 'mg', 'lethal', 'someone', 'tolerance', 'thought', 'wouldve', 'enough', 'sincei', 'big', 'guy', 'didnt', 'really', 'eat', 'anything', 'day', 'hopedexpected', 'would', 'happen', 'wa', 'would', 'pas', 'unconscious', 'stop', 'breathing', 'boy', 'wa', 'wrongi', 'simply', 'laid', 'bed', 'kept', 'eye', 'closed', 'waited', 'die', 'kept', 'thinking', 'dog', 'missed', 'much', 'trying', 'relax', 'let', 'sleep', 'take', 'away', 'didnt', 'work', 'like', 'felt', 'dizziness', 'kick', 'went', 'period', 'profuse', 'sweating', 'body', 'whole', 'body', 'became', 'quite', 'itchy', 'breathing', 'became', 'laboured', 'heart', 'wa', 'pounding', 'uncontrollably', 'longer', 'expected', 'opened', 'eye', 'look', 'clock', 'couldnt', 'see', 'time', 'wa', 'blurred', 'light', 'appeared', 'bouncing', 'slightest', 'movement', 'resulted', 'world', 'swirling', 'slowly', 'around', 'like', 'swinging', 'cloth', 'underwater', 'didnt', 'try', 'stand', 'know', 'wouldve', 'fallen', 'straight', 'floor', 'closed', 'eye', 'laid', 'waited', 'id', 'like', 'point', 'despite', 'physical', 'effect', 'wa', 'feeling', 'mind', 'wa', 'unaltered', 'throughout', 'entire', 'processit', 'turn', 'laid', 'least', 'hour', 'straight', 'sweating', 'shaking', 'dizzy', 'itchy', 'taking', 'long', 'deep', 'breath', 'wa', 'absolute', 'hell', 'whole', 'reasoni', 'amposting', 'one', 'important', 'part', 'youve', 'probably', 'heard', 'happens', 'guess', 'true', 'soon', 'realized', 'holy', 'shit', 'took', 'pill', 'real', 'ive', 'really', 'done', 'started', 'nd', 'thought', 'debated', 'picking', 'phone', 'trying', 'call', 'didnt', 'made', 'experience', 'even', 'gruellingso', 'hour', 'later', 'guess', 'ended', 'finally', 'falling', 'asleep', 'woke', 'feeling', 'like', 'tremendous', 'shit', 'vomit', 'point', 'experience', 'wa', 'one', 'thing', 'wa', 'worried', 'term', 'failing', 'still', 'dizzy', 'leg', 'wobbly', 'ive', 'briefly', 'left', 'bed', 'day', 'havent', 'really', 'eaten', 'much', 'except', 'couple', 'granola', 'bar', 'water', 'cup', 'coffeeif', 'thinking', 'taking', 'pill', 'end', 'life', 'peaceful', 'pleasant', 'experience', 'absolute', 'nightmarei', 'still', 'depressed', 'still', 'feel', 'deep', 'like', 'want', 'life', 'end', 'wanted', 'share', 'experience', 'case', 'somebody', 'might', 'see', 'think', 'twice']
320
['want', 'e', 'e', 'h']
4
['reason', 'live', 'angel', 'long', 'ago', 'wa', 'depressed', 'fact', 'still', 'wanted', 'kill', 'thought', 'one', 'would', 'ever', 'love', 'one', 'cared', 'made', 'reddit', 'post', 'saying', 'goodbye', 'reason', 'would', 'give', 'thats', 'found', 'another', 'post', 'wa', 'girl', 'situationwe', 'started', 'talking', 'exchanged', 'number', 'month', 'passed', 'started', 'develop', 'feeling', 'still', 'believed', 'didnt', 'like', 'back', 'wa', 'wrong', 'one', 'day', 'wa', 'telling', 'one', 'love', 'said', 'told', 'dowe', 'started', 'dating', 'life', 'usa', 'live', 'brazil', 'come', 'visit', 'january', 'problem', 'life', 'south', 'carolina', 'one', 'state', 'hit', 'irma', 'hurricanei', 'told', 'cant', 'live', 'without', 'everything', 'worried', 'love', 'much', 'dy', 'storm', 'wont', 'able', 'keep', 'living', 'left', 'wouldnt', 'last', 'week', 'would', 'kill', 'myselfwe', 'swore', 'ever', 'leave', 'even', 'though', 'distance', 'great', 'even', 'though', 'college', 'high', 'school', 'year', 'age', 'difference', 'make', 'happen', 'love', 'muchi', 'worried', 'wish', 'could', 'get', 'plane', 'go', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'without', 'nervous', 'hope', 'shell', 'okay', 'would', 'give', 'life', 'would', 'go', 'sort', 'pain', 'torture', 'love', 'cant', 'live', 'without']
142
['anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'shell', 'person', 'ive', 'feeling', 'like', 'quite', 'dont', 'feel', 'anything', 'anymore', 'emptiness', 'nothing', 'excites', 'anymore', 'struggle', 'put', 'fake', 'smile', 'family', 'co', 'workersi', 'amjust', 'ready', 'leave', 'world', 'behind', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'changed', 'better']
36
['inevitable', 'extremely', 'worried', 'friend', 'ha', 'degenerative', 'disease', 'chronic', 'pain', 'major', 'symptom', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'relatively', 'normal', 'girlthese', 'day', 'barely', 'go', 'sometimes', 'fatigue', 'even', 'walk', 'block', 'ha', 'long', 'term', 'disability', 'almost', 'year', 'disease', 'getting', 'worse', 'depression', 'ha', 'significant', 'worsening', 'med', 'ha', 'take', 'control', 'disease', 'impair', 'much', 'maybe', 'ha', 'ok', 'hour', 'day', 'best', 'case', 'scenarioshe', 'ha', 'therapy', 'dog', 'ha', 'god', 'send', 'interrupt', 'panic', 'attack', 'follows', 'everywhere', 'lead', 'local', 'shop', 'carry', 'grocery', 'waitlist', 'join', 'service', 'dog', 'program', 'help', 'disabilitiesbut', 'condo', 'board', 'filed', 'court', 'removal', 'dog', 'within', 'hour', 'notice', 'else', 'bailiff', 'remove', 'dog', 'ive', 'trying', 'help', 'ha', 'detailed', 'medical', 'information', 'dog', 'necessity', 'doesnt', 'stop', 'law', 'final', 'decision', 'stay', 'dog', 'leave', 'thi', 'know', 'something', 'seriously', 'wrong', 'reserved', 'encouraged', 'make', 'facebook', 'post', 'ig', 'account', 'posting', 'info', 'shes', 'given', 'doesnt', 'much', 'family', 'friend', 'support', 'besides', 'ha', 'accepted', 'society', 'outcast', 'doesnt', 'want', 'fight', 'another', 'day', 'another', 'painful', 'day', 'puking', 'day', 'tell', 'shes', 'exhaustedive', 'even', 'noticed', 'dog', 'tell', 'stay', 'attached', 'hip', 'brings', 'stuffies', 'shes', 'sad', 'last', 'time', 'ive', 'visited', 'ha', 'stuffies', 'surrounding', 'tell', 'ha', 'sort', 'gave', 'herselfi', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'stop', 'cant', 'fight', 'law', 'live', 'conservative', 'province', 'victim', 'typically', 'overlooked', 'cant', 'fight', 'disease', 'available', 'treatment', 'slows', 'progression', 'disease', 'benefit', 'dont', 'cover', 'cost', 'medication', 'cost', 'monthi', 'dont', 'think', 'post', 'facebook', 'link', 'anyone', 'interested', 'hearingshare', 'story', 'pm', 'link', 'maybe', 'saw', 'people', 'support', 'could', 'helpi', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'feel', 'wrong', 'barely', 'take', 'care', 'ha', 'go', 'move', 'away', 'back', 'family', 'wont', 'medical', 'support', 'bother', 'much', 'knowing', 'ha', 'month', 'worth', 'pain', 'pill', 'anti', 'depressant', 'place', 'amfearful', 'minute', 'shell', 'say', 'fuck', 'ha', 'done', 'except', 'time', 'life', 'much', 'much', 'worse', 'le', 'support', 'bleak', 'future', 'outlookdoes', 'anyone', 'advice', 'sell', 'placei', 'attached', 'find', 'safer', 'spot']
267
['mom', 'doesnt', 'believe', 'wa', 'suicidal', 'didnt', 'believe', 'mental', 'willness', 'family', 'member', 'dont', 'believe', 'mental', 'willness', 'ha', 'anyone', 'experienced', 'thisi', 'year', 'old', 'female', 'dealt', 'mental', 'health', 'issue', 'life', 'life', 'mother', 'didnt', 'believe', 'mental', 'health', 'problem', 'shaved', 'hair', 'last', 'year', 'instead', 'killing', 'even', 'went', 'psychiatrist', 'social', 'worker', 'still', 'didnt', 'believe', 'depression', 'fast', 'forward', 'year', 'later', 'know', 'accepts', 'probably', 'depression', 'last', 'year', 'still', 'doesnt', 'believe', 'wa', 'suicidal', 'even', 'though', 'multiple', 'time', 'tried', 'end', 'lifei', 'amokay', 'amhappier', 'upswing', 'dont', 'thinki', 'going', 'end', 'life', 'yeti', 'amsemi', 'happy', 'mom', 'doesnt', 'believe', 'wa', 'suicidal', 'didnt', 'believe', 'mental', 'willness', 'family', 'member', 'dont', 'believe', 'mental', 'willness', 'ha', 'anyone', 'experienced']
100
['question', 'hanging', 'death', 'hello', 'keep', 'short', 'possiblei', 'amconsidering', 'suicide', 'hanging', 'way', 'afford', 'moment', 'dont', 'anything', 'keep', 'mean', 'nothing', 'condemned', 'roof', 'room', 'think', 'tie', 'rope', 'heating', 'radiator', 'jump', 'window', 'live', 'rd', 'floor', 'far', 'enough', 'ground', 'question', 'dont', 'get', 'neck', 'break', 'much', 'take', 'die', 'make', 'sound', 'hanging', 'phase', 'night', 'one', 'interrupt', 'attempt', 'take', 'min', 'top', 'probably', 'saved', 'taken', 'mental', 'hospital', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'life', 'swallowing', 'pill', 'listening', 'fake', 'motivational', 'bullshit', 'created', 'account', 'prevent', 'doxxing', 'ratting', 'looking', 'forward', 'reply', 'thanks', 'reading']
78
['dont', 'think', 'going', 'make', 'hate', 'post', 'real', 'know', 'people', 'understandi', 'struggling', 'depression', 'entire', 'life', 'recently', 'got', 'military', 'ten', 'year', 'able', 'get', 'medication', 'quit', 'cold', 'turkey', 'week', 'agoi', 'wa', 'looking', 'forward', 'moving', 'state', 'starting', 'wife', 'thing', 'good', 'time', 'wanted', 'sepeerate', 'awhile', 'back', 'week', 'ago', 'told', 'love', 'anymore', 'wish', 'continue', 'marriage', 'found', 'day', 'later', 'seeing', 'bos', 'entire', 'separated', 'even', 'though', 'year', 'trying', 'work', 'thing', 'thoughtit', 'suck', 'man', 'wa', 'molested', 'child', 'raped', 'man', 'wa', 'active', 'duty', 'compiled', 'lot', 'shit', 'really', 'desire', 'keep', 'going', 'large', 'amount', 'therapy', 'really', 'lost', 'live', 'call', 'void', 'constant', 'know', 'hurt', 'parent', 'cousin', 'killed', 'two', 'year', 'ago', 'dad', 'birthday', 'really', 'feel', 'like', 'choice', 'talk', 'anyone', 'anymore', 'spend', 'day', 'alone', 'sorry', 'venting', 'wa', 'closest', 'committing', 'year', 'night', 'running', 'road']
118
['want', 'die', 'note', 'already', 'written', 'send', 'loved', 'one', 'reason', 'live', 'longer', 'outweigh', 'reason', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'exist', 'anymore', 'want', 'die']
20
['want', 'kill', 'afraid', 'access', 'gun', 'throughout', 'entire', 'life', 'depression', 'never', 'ending', 'cycle', 'feeling', 'little', 'better', 'wanting', 'jump', 'window', 'exhaustingi', 'amphysically', 'emotionally', 'mentally', 'drained', 'time', 'want', 'done', 'going', 'get', 'better', 'ive', 'told', 'ive', 'hung', 'long', 'reality', 'know', 'wonti', 'amjust', 'tired', 'thing', 'make', 'smile', 'think', 'pulling', 'trigger', 'finally', 'waking', 'nothing', 'insomnia', 'cry', 'alone', 'corner', 'bedroom', 'disappointing', 'anyone', 'saying', 'wrong', 'thing', 'looking', 'ugly', 'importantly', 'feeling', 'emptiness', 'cant', 'filled', 'leaf', 'little', 'distraction', 'come', 'back', 'five', 'second', 'later', 'hate', 'iti', 'amjust', 'done', 'want', 'diei', 'tired', 'cryingi', 'amexhausted', 'time', 'go', 'biggest', 'problem', 'though', 'isi', 'afraid', 'tell', 'doesnt', 'matteri', 'going', 'die', 'anyway', 'afraid', 'unknown', 'stay', 'alive', 'atleast', 'know', 'expect', 'pure', 'fucking', 'shit', 'atleast', 'shit', 'better', 'nothingness', 'maybe', 'isnt', 'thats', 'thing', 'wouldnt', 'know', 'wa', 'worse', 'better', 'unknown', 'want', 'go', 'afraid', 'also', 'currently', 'access', 'gun', 'thats', 'way', 'attempt', 'least', 'chance', 'failure', 'anyone', 'know', 'get', 'gun', 'unlawfully', 'andor', 'best', 'way', 'get', 'fear', 'death', 'thanks']
144
['life', 'pointless', 'dont', 'want', 'keep', 'living', 'every', 'day', 'uphill', 'climb', 'wake', 'virtual', 'panic', 'attack', 'struggle', 'get', 'ready', 'whilst', 'toddler', 'infant', 'scream', 'cry', 'make', 'mess', 'put', 'mortal', 'danger', 'want', 'work', 'get', 'hour', 'earlier', 'usual', 'home', 'husband', 'leaf', 'workthen', 'go', 'job', 'beyond', 'lucky', 'despite', 'best', 'effort', 'mundane', 'job', 'buried', 'alive', 'debt', 'even', 'bankruptcy', 'know', 'always', 'benothing', 'brings', 'happiness', 'let', 'alone', 'joy', 'nothing', 'everything', 'chore', 'want', 'sleepi', 'live', 'suffer', 'another', 'day', 'go']
69
['considering', 'ending', 'either', 'tonight', 'tomorrow', 'firstly', 'thank', 'anyone', 'reading', 'title', 'say', 'ive', 'serious', 'consideration', 'committing', 'suicide', 'either', 'tonight', 'tomorrow', 'depending', 'much', 'prepare', 'ha', 'something', 'strongly', 'considering', 'month', 'honestyi', 'amkinda', 'peace', 'decision', 'thought', 'ending', 'life', 'doe', 'sadden', 'especially', 'considering', 'leaving', 'behind', 'family', 'also', 'feel', 'oddly', 'comforting', 'like', 'way', 'letting', 'go', 'ive', 'cleaned', 'room', 'arranged', 'belonging', 'prepared', 'suicide', 'note', 'mentally', 'preparing', 'guess', 'anything', 'fear', 'would', 'happens', 'fail']
65
['suicidal', 'thought', 'keep', 'thinking', 'dont', 'get', 'want', 'thing', 'dont', 'change', 'next', 'year', 'wont', 'stick', 'around', 'like', 'whats', 'point', 'ifi', 'wanted', 'way', 'want', 'othersor', 'work', 'arent', 'celebratedor', 'activism', 'ignored', 'facebookori', 'ambelittled', 'treated', 'likei', 'annoying', 'bugand', 'dont', 'tell', 'love', 'myselfits', 'hardit', 'wont', 'lastand', 'id', 'rather', 'love', 'others', 'instead']
46
['inject', 'happiness', 'psychiatrist', 'think', 'medication', 'answer', 'everything', 'wont', 'provide', 'therapy', 'unless', 'go', 'medication', 'hospital', 'suicide', 'campi', 'better', 'least', 'year', 'dont', 'many', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'tired', 'mental', 'health', 'professional', 'thinking', 'medication', 'answer', 'everythingi', 'tired', 'dealing', 'horrible', 'mental', 'health', 'professional', 'lack', 'empathy', 'stopped', 'seeking', 'therapy', 'didnt', 'find', 'helpful', 'thing', 'looking', 'sorta', 'inject', 'happiness', 'psychiatrist', 'think', 'medication', 'answer', 'everything', 'wont', 'provide', 'therapy', 'unless', 'go', 'medication', 'hospital', 'suicide', 'camp']
64
['nothing', 'matter', 'anyway', 'living', 'much', 'dont', 'want', 'want', 'think', 'life', 'ha', 'meaning', 'dont', 'think', 'doe', 'know', 'everything', 'good', 'happens', 'live', 'many', 'day', 'much', 'thought', 'ive', 'done', 'horrible', 'thing', 'people', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'deserve', 'anything', 'good', 'even', 'would', 'make', 'happy', 'nothing', 'doe', 'anymore', 'becausei', 'amjust', 'faking', 'feeling', 'like', 'deny', 'somethings', 'badly', 'wrong', 'situation', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'feel', 'like', 'way', 'could', 'stay', 'alive', 'would', 'fuck', 'life', 'even', 'selfdestruct', 'die', 'anyway', 'may', 'well', 'end', 'want', 'itd', 'easy', 'well', 'know', 'people', 'would', 'upset', 'wouldnt', 'affect', 'either', 'way', 'id', 'cease', 'existi', 'person', 'deserves', 'fix', 'anywayi', 'sorry', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amposting', 'herei', 'amsitting', 'note', 'written', 'lot', 'pill', 'still', 'scared']
102
['literally', 'cannot', 'stop', 'thinking', 'dont', 'know', 'start', 'help', 'need', 'get', 'chest', 'somewhereive', 'struggled', 'mental', 'health', 'year', 'good', 'therapy', 'bad', 'bunch', 'medication', 'worked', 'didnt', 'ive', 'pretty', 'stable', 'past', 'year', 'thing', 'took', 'bit', 'turn', 'marchapril', 'year', 'guess', 'snuck', 'realised', 'summer', 'wa', 'bad', 'really', 'bad', 'ended', 'move', 'back', 'town', 'grew', 'whole', 'bunch', 'bad', 'shit', 'happened', 'put', 'everything', 'like', 'acceleration', 'falling', 'hole', 'sat', 'around', 'pajama', 'day', 'refreshing', 'facebook', 'wandering', 'room', 'room', 'cry', 'trying', 'figure', 'way', 'without', 'ruining', 'everyones', 'life', 'moved', 'month', 'ago', 'started', 'new', 'job', 'thought', 'would', 'help', 'like', 'maybe', 'couple', 'day', 'thing', 'much', 'better', 'since', 'everything', 'ha', 'gone', 'back', 'wa', 'horrible', 'aching', 'feeling', 'chest', 'like', 'someone', 'ha', 'died', 'ive', 'forgotten', 'wa', 'cry', 'every', 'dayi', 'toilet', 'cubicle', 'cry', 'least', 'twice', 'day', 'coming', 'putting', 'eye', 'drop', 'going', 'back', 'desk', 'smiling', 'nothing', 'ha', 'happenedi', 'little', 'fantastic', 'friend', 'kind', 'family', 'boyfriend', 'two', 'year', 'love', 'bit', 'love', 'even', 'though', 'hard', 'feel', 'much', 'lately', 'interesting', 'well', 'paid', 'job', 'home', 'couple', 'great', 'housemate', 'extremely', 'luckybut', 'feel', 'fucking', 'trapped', 'horrible', 'distracted', 'spend', 'time', 'trying', 'justify', 'would', 'ok', 'kill', 'honestly', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'big', 'bag', 'pill', 'cupboard', 'want', 'make', 'stop', 'feel', 'thoroughly', 'cut', 'life', 'broken', 'feel', 'like', 'awful', 'defect', 'much', 'would', 'devastated', 'people', 'life', 'love', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'save', 'sufferingi', 'feel', 'desperate']
202
['feeling', 'suicidal', 'yet', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'leave', 'behind', 'people', 'still', 'love', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'like', 'ive', 'got', 'much', 'pain', 'inside', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'like', 'id', 'better', 'around', 'anymore', 'know', 'hurt', 'people', 'still', 'love', 'feel', 'trapped', 'world', 'never', 'accept', 'dont', 'want', 'shit', 'world', 'anymore', 'horrible', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'cant', 'anything', 'good', 'job', 'dont', 'gun', 'would', 'seriously', 'consider', 'shooting', 'head']
63
['last', 'help', 'single', 'yr', 'old', 'woman', 'lost', 'father', 'last', 'year', 'mom', 'sorry', 'state', 'fragile', 'child', 'wa', 'preferred', 'one', 'wa', 'sidelined', 'sibling', 'brother', 'wa', 'led', 'bf', 'year', 'run', 'option', 'settle', 'since', 'come', 'india', 'stay', 'family', 'treated', 'well', 'also', 'facing', 'issue', 'office', 'dont', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'single', 'soul', 'earth', 'really', 'care', 'dream', 'running', 'away', 'ending', 'life', 'every', 'second', 'needed', 'friend', 'one', 'cared', 'see', 'one', 'way', 'misery', 'benefit', 'everyone', 'wont', 'missed', 'sure']
69
['want', 'talk', 'someone', 'wheni', 'still', 'alive', 'volunteer', 'amhere', 'want', 'talk']
10
['want', 'kill', 'cant', 'ive', 'considering', 'suicide', 'long', 'almost', 'unbearable', 'every', 'time', 'think', 'always', 'end', 'chickening', 'consequence', 'id', 'leave', 'behind', 'killing', 'would', 'purpose', 'since', 'everything', 'thats', 'happened', 'point', 'fault', 'cant', 'handle', 'cant', 'kill', 'dont', 'know']
34
['living', 'deadline', 'almost', 'comical', 'always', 'fail', 'stuff', 'make', 'wonder', 'somehow', 'goda', 'higher', 'beingthe', 'universe', 'ha', 'made', 'sort', 'comedy', 'life', 'like', 'show', 'character', 'keep', 'slipping', 'ive', 'always', 'fantasized', 'dying', 'feel', 'like', 'world', 'would', 'like', 'without', 'ever', 'since', 'wa', 'grade', 'school', 'ive', 'always', 'wanted', 'death', 'kiss', 'life', 'good', 'bye', 'send', 'whatevers', 'beyond', 'brick', 'wall', 'wa', 'want', 'gradually', 'grew', 'bigger', 'bigger', 'wa', 'cry', 'release', 'wa', 'tired', 'everything', 'repeating', 'darkness', 'nightmare', 'justified', 'want', 'something', 'necessary', 'cause', 'wa', 'problem', 'world', 'need', 'le', 'tried', 'like', 'everything', 'else', 'ive', 'tried', 'failed', 'ive', 'lost', 'count', 'somehow', 'even', 'trying', 'kill', 'keep', 'failing', 'another', 'addition', 'list', 'failure', 'rate', 'luck', 'id', 'probably', 'even', 'likely', 'get', 'killed', 'accident', 'politician', 'henchman', 'maybe', 'bloodthirsty', 'policeman', 'one', 'never', 'tell', 'countryits', 'whole', 'year', 'trying', 'failing', 'think', 'need', 'rest', 'long', 'one', 'deep', 'slumber', 'could', 'drift', 'away', 'world', 'mine', 'slowly', 'tearing', 'crumblingi', 'amplanning', 'trying', 'one', 'time', 'december', 'year', 'everythings', 'heavy', 'thoughi', 'really', 'trying', 'best', 'reach', 'december', 'since', 'almost', 'find', 'really', 'itching', 'sooner', 'sorry', 'badly', 'writtenbefore', 'anyone', 'else', 'suggests', 'yes', 'ive', 'tried', 'seeking', 'professional', 'help', 'failed', 'large', 'stigma', 'come', 'mentally', 'side', 'world', 'plus', 'med', 'consultation', 'charge', 'rocket', 'high', 'additionallyi', 'ama', 'useless', 'neet', 'could', 'really', 'feel', 'presence', 'burden', 'everyone', 'interact']
190
['feel', 'like', 'end', 'dont', 'wanna', 'one', 'day', 'everything', 'feel', 'hopelessi', 'ugly', 'loved', 'weak', 'go', 'dont', 'wanna', 'another', 'day']
18
['amjust', 'angry', 'exist', 'hate', 'alive', 'hate', 'much', 'really', 'getting', 'point', 'could', 'end', 'think', 'reason', 'havent', 'killed', 'becausei', 'amscared', 'always', 'part', 'truly', 'belief', 'must', 'better', 'optionim', 'sad', 'parent', 'forced', 'exist', 'didnt', 'even', 'like', 'muchi', 'amsad', 'thati', 'amugly', 'stupid', 'generally', 'horrible', 'person', 'cant', 'believe', 'one', 'life', 'body', 'spend', 'wasted', 'entire', 'youth', 'sad', 'cant', 'go', 'back', 'change', 'yet', 'continue', 'exact', 'way', 'sound', 'like', 'child', 'incredibly', 'unfairi', 'thinki', 'ammostly', 'angry', 'ive', 'really', 'begun', 'realise', 'short', 'life', 'fact', 'incredibly', 'mortal', 'hate', 'way', 'world', 'hate', 'even', 'miss', 'much', 'die', 'complete', 'lack', 'control', 'die', 'much', 'time', 'make', 'want', 'kill', 'least', 'control', 'dont', 'feel', 'control', 'anything', 'anymore', 'want', 'stop']
101
['ive', 'thinking', 'public', 'suicide', 'ive', 'fantasy', 'recently', 'committing', 'suicide', 'public', 'place', 'last', 'time', 'wa', 'falling', 'onto', 'metro', 'track', 'wa', 'saved', 'last', 'minute', 'ive', 'thinking', 'public', 'suicide', 'maybe', 'jumping', 'window', 'busy', 'building', 'crowd', 'people', 'would', 'good', 'way', 'go', 'wa', 'also', 'considering', 'stabbing', 'busy', 'shopping', 'area', 'slowly', 'bleed', 'death', 'everyone', 'watch', 'could', 'get', 'gun', 'cant', 'uk', 'would', 'shoot', 'head', 'middle', 'busy', 'street', 'everyone', 'see', 'would', 'also', 'try', 'get', 'run', 'train', 'see', 'get', 'run', 'maybe', 'stabbed', 'another', 'person', 'endless', 'amount', 'way', 'could', 'go', 'leave', 'shit', 'life', 'fantasy', 'creeping', 'mind', 'lately', 'well', 'dream', 'make', 'feel', 'thati', 'amready', 'go', 'life', 'ha', 'shit', 'long', 'wish', 'could', 'end', 'would', 'much', 'rather', 'make', 'spectacle', 'hate', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'fucking', 'hate', 'hate', 'body', 'hate', 'good', 'hate', 'living', 'shit', 'place', 'hate', 'knowing', 'future', 'fucked', 'already', 'fuck', 'lifei', 'going', 'kill', 'dont', 'give', 'shit', 'people', 'think', 'one', 'care', 'neither', 'guy', 'youre', 'want', 'make', 'feel', 'good', 'reality', 'care', 'anyone', 'whatsoever', 'world', 'suck', 'cant', 'wait', 'leave', 'best', 'way', 'possible']
157
['family', 'friend', 'turn', 'family', 'turning', 'mistake', 'didnt', 'doi', 'dont', 'friend', 'pour', 'heart', 'toi', 'really', 'dont', 'reason', 'live', 'serious', 'time', 'suicidal', 'onoff', 'time', 'last', 'time', 'turning', 'suicidal']
26
['amexhausted', 'depressed', 'majority', 'everyone', 'know', 'would', 'load', 'happier', 'end', 'life', 'wake', 'every', 'morning', 'least', 'people', 'calling', 'name', 'insulting', 'abusing', 'shape', 'way', 'formi', 'tired', 'called', 'virtually', 'useless', 'wheni', 'everything', 'already', 'lot', 'know', 'killed', 'wouldnt', 'hear', 'longer', 'thing', 'seems', 'best', 'convinced', 'wasnt', 'meant', 'make', 'life', 'past', 'high', 'school', 'graduation', 'thing', 'senior', 'year', 'graduate', 'may', 'cant', 'go', 'day', 'without', 'thinking', 'purposeless', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'keeping', 'real', 'reason', 'ive', 'little', 'life', 'experience', 'guess', 'wont', 'make', 'real', 'world', 'wasnt', 'ever', 'social', 'liked', 'loved', 'know', 'suicide', 'would', 'hurt', 'people', 'againi', 'amat', 'point', 'dont', 'really', 'care', 'might', 'selfish', 'opinioni', 'favor', 'well', 'people', 'favor', 'selfishi', 'feel', 'like', 'suicide', 'last', 'choice', 'amterrified', 'come', 'death', 'dont', 'want', 'fail', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'failed', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'ive', 'failed', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'amterrified', 'want', 'end', 'want', 'pain', 'abuse', 'depression', 'wanna', 'gone', 'dont', 'know', 'point', 'posting', 'really', 'serving', 'purpose', 'maybe', 'someone', 'relate', 'maybe', 'notcomforting', 'word', 'would', 'appreciatedi', 'amat', 'one', 'lowest', 'point', 'life']
147
['wish', 'specific', 'depressionsuicide', 'resource', 'nerd', 'smart', 'people', 'deleted', 'bc', 'idgaf', 'anymore', 'subreddit', 'dragging', 'even']
14
['hate', 'country', 'world', 'much', 'going', 'lie', 'chinese', 'hatred', 'communism', 'hate', 'majority', 'chinese', 'conceited', 'stupid', 'bragging', 'year', 'history', 'tend', 'forget', 'life', 'shithole', 'ignorant', 'always', 'judge', 'people', 'situation', 'clear', 'think', 'understood', 'whole', 'situation', 'idiot', 'thinking', 'chinese', 'hardest', 'language', 'dense', 'history', 'world', 'never', 'thought', 'language', 'charm', 'foolish', 'child', 'equal', 'fortune', 'goddamn', 'idiotic', 'phrase', 'heard', 'life', 'poor', 'chinese', 'people', 'struggling', 'life', 'still', 'want', 'child', 'poorest', 'village', 'many', 'leftbehind', 'child', 'straving', 'staring', 'village', 'gate', 'wait', 'parent', 'return', 'outside', 'work', 'many', 'parent', 'go', 'back', 'home', 'year', 'dont', 'money', 'buy', 'return', 'ticket', 'hypocritc', 'many', 'chinese', 'people', 'acting', 'friendly', 'doesnt', 'mean', 'backstab', 'jealous', 'many', 'talented', 'people', 'immigrated', 'western', 'country', 'china', 'nobody', 'care', 'smart', 'talented', 'dont', 'relationship', 'certain', 'powerful', 'people', 'talent', 'waste', 'envy', 'envy', 'western', 'world', 'screwing', 'country', 'heartless', 'dared', 'add', 'poisonous', 'ingredient', 'baby', 'milk', 'powder', 'arrogant', 'narcissist', 'care', 'family', 'give', 'attention', 'puclic', 'courtesy', 'cut', 'line', 'whenever', 'want', 'never', 'queue', 'dirty', 'see', 'environment', 'hopeless', 'grew', 'tired', 'chinese', 'dont', 'fooled', 'china', 'major', 'city', 'image', 'regime', 'want', 'see', 'deep', 'inside', 'china', 'people', 'suffering', 'also', 'timid', 'scary', 'timid', 'front', 'government', 'officer', 'scary', 'front', 'weakling', 'hate', 'world', 'give', 'negative', 'environment', 'upbringing', 'hate', 'going', 'tot', 'end']
182
['cant', 'talk', 'may', 'spend', 'lot', 'time', 'together', 'people', 'close', 'one', 'help', 'feel', 'better', 'feel', 'like', 'tell', 'would', 'kind', 'damage', 'relationship', 'make', 'sense', 'necessarily', 'ruin', 'hanging', 'would', 'definitely', 'different', 'dont', 'wanna', 'lose', 'keep', 'going', 'lose', 'anyway']
35
['fucking', 'end', 'everything', 'year', 'old', 'year', 'old', 'could', 'sound', 'pretty', 'crazy', 'age', 'want', 'end', 'everything', 'truth', 'since', 'month', 'suicide', 'thought', 'cocaine', 'addict', 'since', 'cause', 'family', 'problem', 'life', 'ha', 'getting', 'worse', 'ever', 'talk', 'true', 'friend', 'even', 'helped', 'make', 'feel', 'worst', 'nothing', 'lose', 'last', 'hope', 'live', 'anyone', 'think', 'could', 'help', 'give', 'try']
50
['amfucked', 'thought', 'wa', 'becoming', 'happy', 'downhill', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'therapy', 'want', 'like', 'shitty', 'minimum', 'wage', 'job', 'bos', 'coworkers', 'hate', 'tired', 'everything', 'difficulty', 'connecting', 'therapist', 'finding', 'good', 'therapist', 'like', 'buying', 'good', 'pair', 'shoe', 'buying', 'cari', 'tired', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'teeth', 'depressed', 'fuckboy', 'doesnt', 'like', 'sad', 'didnt', 'get', 'job', 'offer', 'disappointed', 'dont', 'good', 'offer', 'amazonim', 'tired', 'everything', 'past', 'messed', 'therapist', 'triggered', 'fucked', 'past', 'fuck', 'boy', 'past', 'yet', 'still', 'want', 'guy', 'validation', 'single', 'five', 'year', 'wa', 'uncomfortable', 'around', 'guy', 'ex', 'abusive', 'guy', 'friend', 'bad', 'relationship', 'etci', 'wish', 'guy', 'liked', 'wish', 'someone', 'would', 'offer', 'job', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'hate', 'teeth', 'hate', 'looking', 'mirror', 'yeti', 'amobsessed', 'makeupi', 'tired']
101
['dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'ive', 'listening', 'song', 'logic', 'blah', 'blah', 'like', 'song', 'wa', 'written', 'feel', 'pain', 'constantly', 'surface', 'nobody', 'family', 'know', 'ive', 'become', 'good', 'hiding', 'depression', 'shame', 'sometimes', 'let', 'little', 'joke', 'suicide', 'slip', 'thankfully', 'people', 'saying', 'gonna', 'kill', 'ha', 'become', 'mostly', 'joke', 'even', 'meme', 'long', 'laugh', 'saying', 'say', 'kidding', 'family', 'doesnt', 'get', 'wa', 'trying', 'keep', 'together', 'nt', 'cry', 'dont', 'wanna', 'live', 'life', 'ha', 'bad', 'want', 'end', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'please']
69
['worried', 'partner', 'partner', 'suffers', 'deep', 'depression', 'showing', 'sign', 'similar', 'previous', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'closed', 'family', 'tip', 'getting', 'talk', 'feeling', 'late']
19
['withdrawal', 'paxil', 'joke', 'horrible', 'drug', 'legal', 'feel', 'trying', 'get', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'motion', 'sickness', 'past', 'week', 'cannot', 'find', 'relief', 'nausea', 'vomiting', 'actually', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'shaking', 'last', 'night', 'actually', 'last', 'week', 'chancei', 'going', 'make']
34
['dont', 'know', 'even', 'want', 'anymore', 'wish', 'liked']
7
['six', 'year', 'old', 'tucked', 'away', 'bed', 'dont', 'wake', 'tomorrow', 'hell', 'millionaire', 'age', 'give', 'pleasure', 'cant', 'find', 'joy', 'life', 'anymore', 'everything', 'ha', 'uphill', 'battle', 'cant', 'find', 'strength', 'keep', 'carrying', 'wish', 'could', 'find', 'reason', 'still', 'keep', 'fighting', 'canti', 'amstuck', 'downward', 'spirrel', 'cant', 'find', 'way', 'ridekilling', 'would', 'extremely', 'selfish', 'didnt', 'child', 'wouldnt', 'even', 'give', 'second', 'thoughtim', 'sick', 'feeling', 'way', 'want', 'feel', 'normal', 'want', 'love', 'life']
62
['going', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'ama', 'year', 'old', 'girl', 'want', 'boy', 'nobody', 'care', 'play', 'video', 'gamrs', 'day', 'people', 'lie', 'say', 'like', 'know', 'theyre', 'juwt', 'pretendingi', 'amsick', 'want', 'die', 'wish', 'iwas', 'normal']
29
['fear', 'future', 'afraid', 'wont', 'make', 'live', 'mother', 'father', 'sister', 'moved', 'marriedi', 'sure', 'aspergers', 'know', 'depression', 'social', 'anxiety', 'hard', 'time', 'holding', 'job', 'dont', 'really', 'get', 'parent', 'old', 'fashioned', 'irish', 'type', 'think', 'need', 'job', 'sort', 'depression', 'love', 'slander', 'behind', 'back', 'mother', 'favourite', 'hobby', 'slandering', 'people', 'especially', 'sibling', 'bad', 'genetics', 'alcoholic', 'depression', 'close', 'family', 'background', 'cant', 'move', 'couldnt', 'afford', 'rent', 'even', 'job', 'still', 'couldnt', 'move', 'wouldnt', 'able', 'fit', 'housemate', 'essentially', 'beat', 'way', 'unfortunately', 'worry', 'gone', 'aged', 'though', 'suppose', 'wouldnt', 'bad', 'since', 'would', 'lasted', 'longer', 'many', 'forefather', 'year', 'back']
85
['ehi', 'sure', 'might', 'take', 'action', 'kill', 'yet', 'going', 'get', 'ready', 'soon', 'gcse', 'around', 'corner', 'subjectsi', 'amgood', 'science', 'math', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'sincei', 'n', 'level', 'stream', 'may', 'one', 'top', 'student', 'class', 'subject', 'drag', 'amactually', 'really', 'fucking', 'stupid', 'education', 'stress', 'bulimia', 'decides', 'cling', 'onto', 'since', 'june', 'ive', 'nonstop', 'since', 'take', 'time', 'would', 'either', 'starve', 'spend', 'hour', 'binge', 'purge', 'sessionfamily', 'issue', 'also', 'barged', 'near', 'beginning', 'year', 'drunk', 'prostitute', 'father', 'side', 'family', 'decides', 'barge', 'think', 'shes', 'superior', 'enough', 'let', 'hatred', 'towards', 'mom', 'drive', 'spread', 'rumour', 'manipulate', 'family', 'member', 'tried', 'physically', 'attack', 'mom', 'one', 'family', 'gathering', 'ended', 'fighting', 'strangling', 'bitch', 'feel', 'nothing', 'hatred', 'betrayal', 'family', 'everyone', 'begged', 'call', 'police', 'stop', 'fighting', 'etc', 'recognize', 'dad', 'mom', 'family', 'despite', 'hating', 'sometimes', 'dad', 'side', 'family', 'come', 'visit', 'dad', 'mom', 'isnt', 'home', 'would', 'take', 'opportunity', 'talk', 'would', 'throw', 'shade', 'give', 'short', 'answer', 'sometimes', 'give', 'money', 'fucking', 'pity', 'trying', 'bribe', 'trust', 'fuck', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'like', 'orphan', 'beggari', 'well', 'without', 'deal', 'much', 'fucking', 'pastdad', 'basically', 'driving', 'insane', 'since', 'getting', 'old', 'skipping', 'multiple', 'work', 'day', 'also', 'tell', 'constantly', 'doesnt', 'want', 'funeral', 'want', 'cremated', 'well', 'reminding', 'leave', 'houseget', 'married', 'going', 'kill', 'mother', 'slowly', 'torture', 'etc', 'word', 'action', 'mention', 'stay', 'home', 'day', 'racist', 'hell', 'denies', 'racist', 'verbal', 'remark', 'action', 'muslim', 'neighbour', 'differs', 'mom', 'lonely', 'barely', 'hanging', 'trying', 'help', 'sack', 'burden', 'get', 'good', 'education', 'live', 'healthy', 'etc', 'etc', 'shes', 'kind', 'hypocrite', 'ha', 'knowledge', 'food', 'nutritionjust', 'like', 'dad', 'try', 'best', 'ignore', 'possible', 'mental', 'disorder', 'might', 'ptsd', 'family', 'fight', 'depression', 'bullying', 'kindergarten', 'primary', 'secondary', 'school', 'anxiety', 'wherever', 'fuck', 'came', 'panic', 'attack', 'infront', 'randomly', 'started', 'cry', 'infront', 'screamed', 'yelled', 'wa', 'scared', 'eat', 'always', 'try', 'blame', 'something', 'else', 'happens', 'use', 'internet', 'much', 'got', 'father', 'gene', 'etc', 'three', 'close', 'friend', 'one', 'skinny', 'emotionally', 'abusive', 'girl', 'another', 'pretty', 'charming', 'girl', 'one', 'funny', 'reckless', 'guy', 'let', 'name', 'x', 'z', 'respectively', 'left', 'first', 'apparently', 'ha', 'found', 'friend', 'much', 'humorous', 'flattering', 'z', 'found', 'personality', 'humour', 'wa', 'dying', 'along', 'body', 'bulimia', 'x', 'hasnt', 'left', 'yet', 'constantly', 'sticking', 'worst', 'day', 'drive', 'insanehaha', 'yeah', 'thanks', 'letting', 'rant', 'reddit']
321
['dont', 'wanna', 'fight', 'anymore', 'ive', 'le', 'depressed', 'year', 'dont', 'wanna', 'anymore', 'life', 'constant', 'pain', 'also', 'physicallyi', 'amaddicted', 'opiatespain', 'killer', 'absolutely', 'energy', 'anything', 'cant', 'go', 'work', 'dont', 'want', 'see', 'friend', 'anymore', 'becausei', 'amjust', 'tired', 'feel', 'pathetic', 'living', 'like', 'amjust', 'burden', 'everybody', 'else', 'aint', 'life', 'trying', 'survive', 'day', 'day', 'family', 'boyfriend', 'thing', 'keeping', 'alive', 'mostly', 'dont', 'wanna', 'hurt', 'killing', 'myselfnothing', 'make', 'happy', 'anymore', 'dont', 'even', 'wanna', 'happy', 'dont', 'want', 'anything', 'anymore', 'nothing', 'really', 'matter', 'amjust', 'wasting', 'time', 'think', 'quit']
77
['getting', 'ignored', 'redditors', 'awaking', 'histrionic', 'personality', 'keep', 'posting', 'shit', 'post', 'gain', 'even', 'ignoranceoh', 'suck', 'killing', 'reality', 'even', 'better', 'internet', 'could', 'omgomg', 'hell', 'shit', 'piss']
24
['loved', 'one', 'suicide', 'victim', 'doe', 'feel', 'like', 'family', 'friend', 'suicide', 'victim', 'doe', 'feel', 'year', 'ever', 'get', 'find', 'peace', 'mind']
19
['freshman', 'high', 'school', 'knowi', 'amyoung', 'dont', 'care', 'parent', 'abusive', 'class', 'ha', 'already', 'made', 'friend', 'group', 'kid', 'old', 'school', 'settling', 'fine', 'feeling', 'friend', 'thinksi', 'annoying', 'failed', 'getting', 'valedictorian', 'middle', 'school', 'wa', 'dream', 'ever', 'since', 'older', 'sister', 'got', 'iti', 'ama', 'failure', 'nobody', 'talk', 'school', 'wouldnt', 'care', 'died', 'knowi', 'young', 'dont', 'care', 'want', 'dieedit', 'cant', 'believe', 'amount', 'advicei', 'amgetting', 'love']
57
['guessi', 'amdone', 'whole', 'life', 'ive', 'different', 'aspect', 'life', 'ive', 'never', 'truly', 'religious', 'thought', 'future', 'senior', 'year', 'ive', 'one', 'attempt', 'hospital', 'stay', 'helped', 'temporaryi', 'amtaking', 'online', 'class', 'month', 'till', 'grad', 'enlist', 'dont', 'want', 'amazing', 'family', 'member', 'pushed', 'torwards', 'getting', 'different', 'certification', 'help', 'get', 'better', 'job', 'army', 'dont', 'want', 'constantly', 'sad', 'thought', 'night', 'driving', 'wishing', 'someone', 'text', 'risk', 'life', 'whole', 'driving', 'talk', 'tonight', 'went', 'friend', 'seen', 'girl', 'u', 'hit', 'one', 'liked', 'turned', 'hoe', 'apparently', 'buddie', 'another', 'friend', 'planning', 'run', 'train', 'showed', 'text', 'everything', 'didnt', 'snap', 'back', 'guess', 'confidence', 'took', 'hit', 'another', 'girl', 'hit', 'instagram', 'dont', 'get', 'wrong', 'shes', 'hot', 'shes', 'type', 'shes', 'type', 'react', 'scary', 'stuff', 'act', 'like', 'shes', 'baby', 'guess', 'dont', 'see', 'reason', 'livei', 'amlonely', 'never', 'happy', 'havei', 'amprobably', 'going', 'tomorrow', 'drinking', 'maybe', 'smoking', 'want', 'go', 'happy', 'term', 'thank', 'guy', 'taking', 'time', 'read']
132
['dont', 'think', 'suicide', 'selfish', 'cant', 'hang', 'people', 'much', 'pain', 'cant', 'hang', 'longer', 'make', 'people', 'sad', 'dont', 'feel', 'feeling', 'day', 'day']
20
['feeling', 'overhelmed', 'currently', 'looking', 'way', 'kill', 'depressed', 'past', 'friend', 'moved', 'elsewherei', 'amcurrently', 'living', 'small', 'dead', 'town', 'two', 'parent', 'besides', 'completely', 'alone', 'never', 'girlfriend', 'ive', 'always', 'loved', 'one', 'never', 'saw', 'anything', 'friend', 'never', 'even', 'tried', 'tell', 'feeling', 'knowing', 'fucking', 'ugly', 'repulsive', 'living', 'life', 'god', 'know', 'past', 'present', 'future', 'ive', 'sleeping', 'hour', 'past', 'month', 'minimize', 'waking', 'life', 'enough', 'anymore', 'going', 'kill', 'end', 'miserable', 'pathetic', 'excruciating', 'fucking', 'life', 'yes', 'parent', 'suffer', 'hand', 'fault', 'given', 'life', 'never', 'wanted']
74
['feeli', 'amready', 'die', 'pathetic', 'reason', 'suicidal', 'last', 'couple', 'day', 'reaching', 'lot', 'help', 'still', 'feel', 'want', 'die', 'cant', 'get', 'girlfriend', 'know', 'getting', 'girlfriend', 'privilege', 'one', 'thati', 'worthy', 'eats', 'alive', 'know', 'pathetic', 'reason', 'truth', 'truly', 'cant', 'see', 'life', 'happy', 'without', 'girl', 'truly', 'cant', 'see', 'getting', 'girl', 'want', 'die', 'pain']
47
['feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'matter', 'anymore', 'feel', 'life', 'empty', 'right', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'strong', 'anything', 'right', 'psychological', 'treatment', 'around', 'year', 'heal', 'depression', 'even', 'medicine', 'still', 'feel', 'like', 'something', 'missing', 'life', 'dont', 'strength', 'used', 'feel', 'numb', 'dont', 'want', 'anything', 'even', 'bigger', 'opportunity', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'anything', 'sometimes', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'make', 'believe', 'alive', 'make', 'think', 'easy', 'way', 'feel', 'alive', 'avoid', 'pain', 'feel', 'inside', 'everyones', 'see', 'someone', 'constantly', 'smiling', 'reality', 'mask', 'presentation', 'card', 'inside', 'lonely', 'sad', 'boring', 'personi', 'aminto', 'whole', 'everything', 'becomes', 'darker', 'darker', 'hope', 'enough', 'strength', 'finnish', 'one', 'thought', 'reason', 'afraid', 'couldnt', 'finnishi', 'amcompletelly', 'alone', 'find', 'reason', 'livei', 'ama', 'disgrace', 'family', 'friend', 'always', 'darkness', 'tired', 'everything', 'everyone', 'want', 'rest', 'disapear', 'simply', 'evaporate', 'strength', 'hope', 'love', 'live', 'dream', 'dont', 'exists', 'anymorei', 'amjust', 'hopless', 'person', 'world', 'someone', 'whose', 'existence', 'problem', 'familyi', 'tired', 'obstacle', 'everyone', 'else', 'want', 'free', 'want', 'feel', 'alive']
135
['set', 'timer', 'minute', 'like', 'year', 'thing', 'improvedwoke', 'morning', 'set', 'timer', 'minute', 'put', 'god', 'handstwo', 'half', 'hour', 'passed', 'nothing', 'changed', 'god', 'rejected', 'mehave', 'five', 'box', 'paracetamol', 'lot', 'alcohol', 'never', 'drunk', 'let', 'see', 'goesgoodbye', 'kh', 'eb', 'hc', 'aob', 'ap', 'lh', 'thanks', 'everyone', 'mg', 'love', 'always', 'mum', 'dad', 'everything', 'fine', 'annabellei', 'cant', 'write', 'well', 'anymorei', 'sad', 'go', 'train', 'nearly', 'station', 'suicide', 'note']
59
['help', 'ranti', 'amnew', 'reddit', 'first', 'post', 'hate', 'talking', 'typhus', 'close', 'friend', 'cause', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'understand', 'feel', 'like', 'one', 'doe', 'ive', 'chronically', 'depressed', 'year', 'cut', 'little', 'bit', 'tried', 'suicide', 'last', 'month', 'though', 'havent', 'suicidal', 'ive', 'wanting', 'conflict', 'self', 'harm', 'though', 'girlfriend', 'every', 'time', 'cut', 'would', 'devestated', 'cried', 'felt', 'bad', 'wa', 'like', 'mind', 'fucking', 'cut', 'wanted', 'one', 'time', 'punched', 'arm', 'face', 'bruised', 'hate', 'haha', 'ive', 'noticed', 'every', 'time', 'get', 'depressed', 'like', 'main', 'concern', 'thati', 'talented', 'enough', 'meaning', 'earth', 'also', 'feel', 'like', 'always', 'disappoint', 'everyone', 'mom', 'ex', 'girlfriend', 'family', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'mistake', 'god', 'made', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'wayi', 'amsure', 'dont', 'know', 'wherei', 'trying', 'get', 'toi', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'sad', 'feel', 'empty', 'numb', 'like', 'crossed', 'threshold', 'depressed', 'thats', 'dont', 'want', 'talk', 'except', 'causei', 'anonymous', 'yeah', 'thats', 'guy', 'goodnight']
125
['cant', 'believe', 'tried', 'walk', 'wa', 'stressful', 'situation', 'really', 'stressful', 'like', 'ive', 'lot', 'worse', 'lot', 'pentup', 'stuff', 'past', 'day', 'announced', 'go', 'nobody', 'questioned', 'fact', 'mile', 'town', 'walking', 'dont', 'car', 'bus', 'stop', 'nearby', 'went', 'city', 'mile', 'away', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'wa', 'kind', 'numb', 'packed', 'everything', 'walked', 'didnt', 'know', 'wa', 'going', 'thought', 'take', 'bus', 'city', 'go', 'back', 'could', 'go', 'home', 'wa', 'mile', 'uphill', 'didnt', 'really', 'feel', 'interested', 'going', 'home', 'kind', 'wanted', 'keep', 'walking', 'forever', 'everdisappearing', 'came', 'mind', 'suicide', 'unfamiliar', 'topic', 'pas', 'methen', 'someone', 'leaving', 'place', 'id', 'walked', 'early', 'pulled', 'offered', 'ride', 'insisted', 'noticed', 'looked', 'distressedi', 'amhome', 'safe', 'nowi', 'amjust', 'freaked', 'happened', 'quickly', 'without', 'barely', 'premeditation']
102
['amscared', 'school', 'going', 'drive', 'insane', 'massive', 'mental', 'breakdown', 'second', 'last', 'year', 'lasted', 'year', 'suffer', 'ptsd', 'form', 'dissociative', 'identity', 'disorder', 'depersonalization', 'youre', 'curious', 'guess', 'lot', 'fucking', 'thing', 'top', 'thatguys', 'cant', 'fucking', 'take', 'thisi', 'senior', 'year', 'short', 'day', 'like', 'one', 'thing', 'adding', 'everyones', 'telling', 'take', 'gap', 'year', 'itll', 'fuck', 'schooling', 'bitch', 'maybe', 'dont', 'fucking', 'want', 'college', 'okayeveryone', 'tell', 'better', 'college', 'actually', 'plan', 'move', 'fucking', 'god', 'forsaken', 'country', 'leave', 'get', 'chance', 'kill', 'school', 'like', 'half', 'reason', 'want', 'fucking', 'stop', 'everything', 'give', 'isnt', 'fucked', 'dont', 'know', 'another', 'mental', 'breakdowni', 'amprobably', 'going', 'actually', 'kill', 'thing', 'kept', 'last', 'time', 'wa', 'best', 'friend', 'life', 'shes', 'still', 'fucking', 'snap', 'mental', 'state', 'half', 'dont', 'know', 'convince', 'worth', 'life', 'one', 'breakdown', 'another', 'many', 'fucking', 'disorder', 'accumulate', 'lifetime', 'fuck', 'get', 'stopps', 'dont', 'fucking', 'tell', 'kill', 'decision', 'resorting', 'know', 'way']
128
['tomorrow', 'come', 'back', 'college', 'amscared', 'think', 'last', 'period', 'finishing', 'intend', 'commit', 'suicide', 'pain', 'sadness', 'become', 'strong', 'many', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'great', 'encumbrance', 'family', 'think', 'better', 'withdraw', 'life', 'girl', 'like', 'well', 'talk', 'anymore', 'rejected', 'okay', 'served', 'realize', 'never', 'able', 'fulfill', 'thing', 'always', 'crave', 'child', 'class', 'never', 'problem', 'would', 'like', 'family', 'see', 'could', 'able', 'think', 'final', 'trip', 'start', 'tomorrow', 'hope', 'accomplish', 'end', 'thank', 'reading']
62
['get', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'always', 'fear', 'reaching', 'helpi', 'amscared', 'whoever', 'talk', 'going', 'dismissiveim', 'worried', 'go', 'help', 'wont', 'like', 'talk', 'wont', 'ever', 'reach', 'right', 'nowi', 'ammostly', 'scared', 'ifi', 'amgiven', 'medication', 'wont', 'able', 'stop', 'overdosing', 'know', 'need', 'something', 'want', 'die', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'despite', 'fact', 'life', 'actually', 'really', 'good', 'ama', 'pretty', 'successful', 'personi', 'amalso', 'scared', 'life', 'generally', 'goodi', 'amgonna', 'get', 'told', 'nothing', 'actually', 'wrong']
62
['free', 'weekend', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'ameven', 'bothering', 'post', 'dont', 'anyone', 'else', 'open', 'guess', 'ive', 'depressed', 'year', 'past', 'year', 'ha', 'worst', 'ive', 'never', 'really', 'liked', 'wa', 'personi', 'amfat', 'ugly', 'untalented', 'socially', 'awkward', 'incapable', 'getting', 'girlfriendthe', 'list', 'go', 'tend', 'stick', 'hobbiesthings', 'feel', 'likei', 'amgood', 'tend', 'shift', 'away', 'long', 'cuz', 'realize', 'thati', 'amcompletely', 'shit', 'everything', 'cant', 'anything', 'right', 'thingi', 'amgood', 'school', 'point', 'amlosing', 'passion', 'major', 'made', 'go', 'schooli', 'great', 'school', 'top', 'world', 'field', 'engineering', 'good', 'gpa', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'given', 'everything', 'get', 'amrealizing', 'thati', 'really', 'smartim', 'good', 'school', 'socially', 'awkward', 'fuck', 'cant', 'really', 'get', 'back', 'sociali', 'ama', 'horrible', 'mess', 'hate', 'methis', 'past', 'year', 'ha', 'rough', 'lost', 'best', 'friend', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'ruined', 'friendship', 'shes', 'moved', 'still', 'open', 'snapchat', 'story', 'cry', 'reminiscing', 'thing', 'wa', 'one', 'ive', 'ever', 'opened', 'best', 'friend', 'yearsand', 'shes', 'gone', 'dont', 'know', 'live', 'like', 'thissorry', 'getting', 'longim', 'miserablei', 'going', 'blow', 'brain', 'shotgun', 'weekend', 'way', 'father', 'died', 'year', 'agoi', 'amempty', 'dead', 'inside', 'miss', 'bestfriendi', 'sorry', 'sara', 'know', 'promised', 'would', 'never', 'cant', 'please', 'forgive']
161
['scared', 'someone', 'love', 'might', 'risk', 'life', 'far', 'awayi', 'amcrumbling', 'say', 'someone', 'tell', 'itll', 'okay']
14
['amending', 'life', 'tomorrow', 'loneliness', 'point', 'optimism', 'cant', 'find', 'relationship', 'end', 'heartbreak', 'patience', 'wait', 'one', 'depression', 'social', 'anxiety', 'get', 'angry', 'people', 'easily', 'kill', 'wont', 'live', 'painful', 'life', 'longer', 'fault', 'everyone', 'else', 'full', 'immature', 'dont', 'respect', 'leave', 'maybe', 'theyll', 'realize', 'missed', 'want', 'sad', 'want', 'cry', 'deserve', 'every', 'thing', 'theyve', 'done', 'every', 'time', 'ignored', 'purposely', 'paintheyll', 'cry', 'miss', 'theyre', 'liar', 'denied', 'request', 'relationship', 'get', 'leave', 'permanently', 'deserve', 'every', 'ounce', 'guilt', 'theyll', 'feel', 'messaged', 'suicide', 'letter', 'cryptic', 'goodbye', 'told', 'guilty', 'spamming', 'inboxes', 'begging', 'stopfunny', 'didnt', 'message', 'though', 'didnt', 'message', 'ask', 'night', 'wa', 'going', 'plan', 'weekend', 'ignored', 'becausei', 'amfucking', 'worthless', 'deserve', 'live', 'ending', 'guilty', 'consciouswhy', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'havent', 'tried', 'therapy', 'filling', 'artificial', 'toxic', 'pill', 'yet', 'two', 'good']
112
['kill', 'get', 'taller', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amposting', 'seeing', 'asi', 'looking', 'talked', 'anything', 'month', 'therapy', 'counselling', 'three', 'different', 'type', 'antidepressant', 'increasing', 'dos', 'done', 'thing', 'shift', 'feeling', 'doubt', 'reddit', 'maybe', 'want', 'write', 'sake', 'conviction', 'dont', 'knowim', 'male', 'never', 'growth', 'spurt', 'cant', 'accept', 'maximum', 'height', 'reason', 'ha', 'great', 'issue', 'earlier', 'wa', 'previously', 'given', 'false', 'hope', 'doctor', 'would', 'grow', 'simultaneously', 'put', 'sex', 'hormone', 'therapy', 'accelerate', 'puberty', 'result', 'speed', 'sealing', 'growth', 'platesi', 'refuse', 'live', 'shorter', 'everyone', 'something', 'people', 'deal', 'cant', 'cant', 'go', 'outside', 'anymore', 'around', 'taller', 'people', 'make', 'physically', 'induce', 'panic', 'attack', 'varying', 'intensity', 'havent', 'left', 'house', 'day', 'last', 'time', 'go', 'outside', 'coped', 'keeping', 'head', 'avoid', 'looking', 'anybody', 'piercing', 'skin', 'every', 'time', 'walked', 'past', 'tall', 'personsome', 'time', 'weeki', 'going', 'meet', 'gp', 'ask', 'prescribed', 'hgh', 'hope', 'alleviating', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'strongly', 'suspect', 'say', 'doe', 'believe', 'get', 'taller', 'radiologist', 'already', 'refused', 'x', 'ray', 'examine', 'whether', 'epiphyseal', 'plate', 'fused', 'considered', 'purchasing', 'hgh', 'black', 'market', 'wouldnt', 'know', 'wa', 'concerning', 'dosage', 'dont', 'know', 'would', 'get', 'safe', 'genuine', 'stuff', 'dangerous', 'drug', 'anyway', 'assuming', 'cant', 'get', 'hgh', 'plan', 'commit', 'suicide', 'exactly', 'two', 'week', 'nowthere', 'course', 'also', 'thing', 'contributing', 'feeling', 'way', 'height', 'far', 'main', 'issue', 'havent', 'genuine', 'conversation', 'person', 'anybody', 'outside', 'immediate', 'family', 'therapist', 'two', 'month', 'one', 'friend', 'isnt', 'aware', 'feel', 'hasnt', 'met', 'person', 'year', 'ha', 'responded', 'recent', 'attempt', 'contact', 'online', 'therefore', 'reasonably', 'certain', 'nobody', 'want', 'die', 'greatly', 'upsetting', 'friend', 'indeed', 'given', 'fact', 'ever', 'talk', 'online', 'anymore', 'havent', 'spoken', 'week', 'doubt', 'would', 'even', 'aware', 'itmy', 'family', 'course', 'different', 'story', 'people', 'whose', 'feeling', 'concerned', 'mother', 'would', 'probably', 'destroyed', 'grandmother', 'already', 'unhappy', 'moment', 'account', 'unable', 'cope', 'pain', 'continuing', 'live', 'also', 'unable', 'cope', 'pain', 'causing', 'upset', 'need', 'advice', 'regard', 'feel', 'conflicted', 'firm', 'intention', 'would', 'people', 'loveanyway', 'thats', 'situation', 'wanted', 'write', 'somewhere', 'thanks', 'time', 'still']
277
['left', 'left', 'darkyou', 'left', 'alonefrom', 'chest', 'took', 'heartand', 'left', 'place', 'call', 'homeyou', 'left', 'without', 'concernand', 'matter', 'seasoni', 'want', 'end', 'hurtand', 'thats', 'reasonyou', 'left', 'broken', 'confusedyou', 'left', 'thinking', 'wasnt', 'enoughyou', 'left', 'feeling', 'really', 'usednow', 'upper', 'thigh', 'roughyou', 'left', 'thinking', 'dieyou', 'left', 'painful', 'highof', 'feeling', 'burning', 'thighsand', 'thinking', 'wa', 'wa', 'right']
49
['wouldnt', 'great', 'great', 'could', 'lay', 'wake', 'slowtown', 'wish', 'could', 'die', 'sleeping', 'peacefully', 'take', 'finish', 'waste', 'life', 'suck', 'soul', 'body', 'reset', 'mindi', 'tired', 'thoughtsi', 'tired', 'breathing', 'livei', 'tired', 'taking', 'life', 'someone', 'end', 'please']
32
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291
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52
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62
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52
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119
['anyone', 'want', 'talk', 'hopefully', 'texti', 'amhome', 'day', 'everyone', 'know', 'want', 'text', 'voice', 'video', 'another', 'human', 'mean', 'much', 'make', 'hard', 'reach', 'sometimes', 'pound', 'word', 'keyboard', 'phone', 'wish', 'someone', 'people', 'didnt', 'mind', 'audio', 'video', 'conversation', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'needing', 'human', 'contact']
38
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34
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172
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59
['everything', 'repeating', 'cant', 'passed', 'fuck', 'havent', 'learned', 'lesson', 'hasnt', 'life', 'punished', 'enough', 'yearsplease', 'swear', 'time', 'wont', 'handle', 'cant']
18
['coming', 'back', 'never', 'expected', 'get', 'far', 'wa', 'seven', 'year', 'old', 'happened', 'one', 'person', 'life', 'never', 'judged', 'probably', 'saw', 'died', 'put', 'gun', 'mouth', 'pulled', 'trigger', 'know', 'afraid', 'know', 'rest', 'ask', 'ashamed', 'still', 'think', 'time', 'twentyone', 'still', 'picture', 'dresser', 'look', 'every', 'morning', 'wondering', 'wa', 'ever', 'happy', 'ever', 'love', 'wa', 'broken', 'soul', 'fear', 'becoming', 'every', 'day', 'closing', 'refusing', 'acknowledge', 'world', 'doe', 'indeed', 'go', 'even', 'though', 'longer', 'wa', 'never', 'best', 'friend', 'even', 'important', 'wa', 'first', 'loss', 'first', 'person', 'ever', 'leave', 'without', 'trace', 'explanation', 'know', 'na', 'think', 'come', 'back', 'answer', 'passing', 'magically', 'fall', 'sky', 'want', 'know', 'life', 'ever', 'okay', 'find', 'place', 'never', 'expected', 'get', 'far', 'dead', 'right', 'still', 'breathing', 'know', 'anymore', 'cut', 'world', 'scared', 'think', 'could', 'make', 'angrier', 'anything', 'blood', 'boil', 'fear', 'strong', 'enough', 'take', 'knife', 'slit', 'throat', 'believe', 'god', 'like', 'used', 'family', 'holding', 'back', 'coward', 'wa', 'brave', 'sit', 'watch', 'world', 'pas', 'like', 'complete', 'utter', 'coward', 'never', 'laugh', 'real', 'laugh', 'never', 'feel', 'complete', 'never', 'know', 'mean', 'alive', 'gone', 'miss', 'miss', 'say', 'wa', 'kind', 'gentle', 'soul', 'deserve', 'world', 'brought', 'brought', 'pain', 'deserve', 'punished', 'deepest', 'depth', 'hell', 'good', 'person', 'wa', 'paid', 'life', 'love', 'loved', 'always', 'love', 'miss', 'never', 'stopped', 'thinking', 'never', 'please', 'forget']
186
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67
['mental', 'health', 'low', 'twice', 'strung', 'laptop', 'phone', 'charger', 'cable', 'clothing', 'padding', 'spent', 'entire', 'afternoon', 'sticking', 'head', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'like', 'pas', 'pull', 'back', 'saw', 'purple', 'shape', 'light', 'one', 'time', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'die', 'wayi', 'amkneeling', 'blanket', 'floor', 'long', 'length', 'cable', 'beyond', 'sad', 'psychiatric', 'outpatient', 'program', 'havent', 'given', 'medication', 'yet', 'attempting', 'cbt', 'still', 'sad', 'sad', 'sad', 'divorced', 'kid', 'bisexual', 'type', 'diabetic', 'smoker', 'live', 'israel', 'see', 'reason', 'wanting', 'live', 'want', 'happy', 'stable', 'year', 'wa', 'married', 'someone', 'else', 'took', 'care', 'life', 'ha', 'become', 'hellish', 'since', 'left', 'marriage', 'dunno', 'whyi', 'ampostingi', 'amjust', 'reaching', 'need', 'help', 'seem', 'find', 'world']
93
['difficult', 'find', 'help', 'know', 'exactly', 'would', 'afraid', 'dying', 'however', 'afraid', 'failing', 'dying', 'people', 'life', 'would', 'sad', 'killed', 'soi', 'trying', 'get', 'help', 'ive', 'unsuccessful', 'far', 'still', 'cant', 'find', 'new', 'doctor', 'prescribe', 'med', 'take', 'adderall', 'moved', 'new', 'city', 'may', 'every', 'single', 'fuckig', 'therapist', 'ive', 'called', 'wont', 'answer', 'goddamned', 'phone', 'fucking', 'email', 'nothing', 'left', 'give', 'anymore']
53
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171
['found', 'preparing', 'today', 'measured', 'pill', 'wa', 'going', 'take', 'today', 'wa', 'trancelike', 'normal', 'even', 'wa', 'sitting', 'desk', 'looked', 'pill', 'immediately', 'reached', 'measured', 'mg', 'like', 'wa', 'normal', 'activityi', 'amworried', 'finish', 'way', 'casually', 'sudden', 'soon', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'family', 'anything', 'amfinding', 'wanting', 'death', 'even', 'mean', 'taking', 'painful', 'method', 'dont', 'know']
47
['jammed', 'belt', 'top', 'cupboard', 'looped', 'around', 'neck', 'nearly', 'fell', 'computer', 'chair', 'freaked', 'managed', 'take', 'belt', 'offi', 'scared', 'dying', 'dont', 'want', 'either', 'one', 'day', 'courage', 'kill', 'day', 'best', 'day', 'life', 'hope', 'happens', 'soon', 'possible']
33
['doe', 'anyone', 'feel', 'sort', 'worse', 'going', 'sub', 'similar', 'subreddits', 'great', 'see', 'people', 'understand', 'almost', 'u', 'feel', 'like', 'arent', 'gonna', 'get', 'better', 'whats', 'point', 'come', 'sub']
25
['amwriting', 'story', 'somebody', 'talked', 'cmmiting', 'suicde', 'suppsoed', 'positive', 'help', 'making', 'tru', 'life', 'like', 'title', 'saysi', 'amwriting', 'story', 'teeange', 'girl', 'plan', 'jump', 'high', 'school', 'roof', 'school', 'counselor', 'best', 'friend', 'ralk', 'counselor', 'best', 'friend', 'get', 'roof', 'call', 'know', 'talking', 'suicidal', 'person', 'youre', 'suppsoed', 'understanding', 'kind', 'sure', 'happens', 'talk', 'girl', 'jumping', 'roofwould', 'take', 'hospital', 'best', 'friend', 'taken', 'police', 'qustioning', 'along', 'student', 'texted', 'girl', 'morning', 'telling', 'kill', 'herselfa', 'part', 'story', 'involes', 'best', 'friend', 'going', 'see', 'suicidal', 'girl', 'hospital', 'school', 'counselor', 'suicide', 'watch', 'point', 'get', 'lot', 'get', 'well', 'letter', 'presentsalso', 'suicidal', 'girl', 'lesbian', 'one', 'reason', 'try', 'kill', 'lot', 'student', 'call', 'faggot', 'even', 'parent', 'throw', 'day', 'incidentthe', 'sucidal', 'girl', 'girlfriend', 'broke', 'week', 'hand', 'afterwards', 'spread', 'rumour', 'fucked', 'animal', 'sex', 'brother', 'even', 'though', 'suicidal', 'girl', 'stood', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'bullied', 'cafeteria', 'lesbianid', 'like', 'input', 'anybody', 'could', 'offer']
129
['lonely', 'long', 'ive', 'thought', 'death', 'much', 'long', 'year', 'everyday', 'long', 'remember', 'think', 'never', 'doi', 'ama', 'coward', 'wa', 'something', 'kept', 'wa', 'knowledge', 'something', 'odd', 'brain', 'something', 'cant', 'control', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'live', 'brain', 'anymore', 'see', 'ha', 'suicidal', 'think', 'death', 'ha', 'never', 'reason', 'ive', 'share', 'bad', 'experience', 'nothing', 'suicidal', 'brain', 'keep', 'going', 'badly', 'tuned', 'violin', 'tense', 'making', 'strange', 'noise', 'better', 'doe', 'matter', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'gave', 'people', 'music', 'today', 'dont', 'knowi', 'amfucking', 'lost', 'lost', 'feel', 'sad', 'frustrated', 'everything', 'want', 'start', 'bashing', 'keyboard', 'atleast', 'write', 'soi', 'dead', 'yet', 'ive', 'never', 'complained', 'much', 'odd', 'brain', 'dunno', 'wanna', 'get', 'rid', 'even', 'tho', 'also', 'best', 'friend', 'ha', 'always', 'thing', 'thats', 'everyone', 'leaf', 'everyone', 'ha', 'better', 'thing', 'alot', 'easy', 'people', 'take', 'toll', 'endure', 'fight', 'life', 'spend', 'time', 'people', 'fucking', 'leave', 'know', 'cant', 'force', 'u', 'stay', 'want', 'ive', 'never', 'wanted', 'tear', 'lonely', 'cant', 'comfort', 'look', 'window', 'dark', 'rain', 'like', 'rain', 'feel', 'like', 'eye', 'storm']
146
['dont', 'want', 'live', 'decomposing', 'dirt', 'right', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amhanging', 'gotta', 'somethingi', 'amholding', 'onto', 'havent', 'killed', 'yet', 'soon', 'though', 'hopefully', 'next', 'month']
22
['fuck', 'right', 'need', 'rant', 'sorry', 'also', 'anyone', 'ha', 'suggestion', 'great', 'great', 'starti', 'ama', 'yearold', 'female', 'self', 'harmed', 'lot', 'last', 'year', 'mostly', 'clean', 'last', 'year', 'soi', 'really', 'good', 'talking', 'sorry', 'justdont', 'see', 'even', 'exist', 'anymore', 'mean', 'give', 'cat', 'last', 'roommatesomeoneithoughtwasafriend', 'really', 'wasnt', 'gave', 'choice', 'wanted', 'put', 'compromised', 'surrendering', 'thing', 'kept', 'clean', 'safe', 'animal', 'shelter', 'week', 'later', 'tied', 'shove', 'flight', 'stair', 'kicked', 'apartment', 'anyways', 'moved', 'local', 'homeless', 'shelter', 'wa', 'good', 'either', 'god', 'shoved', 'throat', 'pentacle', 'necklace', 'confiscated', 'kicked', 'said', 'believe', 'christian', 'god', 'nowi', 'position', 'le', 'week', 'find', 'place', 'live', 'homeless', 'time', 'shelter', 'option', 'one', 'friend', 'town', 'roommate', 'wont', 'let', 'move', 'even', 'though', 'pay', 'rentgoddess', 'justi', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'takei', 'close', 'harming', 'cant', 'take', 'nothingand', 'noone', 'turn', 'nothing', 'justim', 'fucking', 'empty', 'right']
119
['want', 'end', 'rant', 'cptsd', 'complex', 'post', 'traumatic', 'stress', 'distorder', 'result', 'ive', 'always', 'felt', 'broken', 'parent', 'would', 'fight', 'hurt', 'eachother', 'front', 'year', 'almost', 'daily', 'almost', 'every', 'night', 'wa', 'sobbing', 'terror', 'theyd', 'come', 'wa', 'complain', 'id', 'try', 'play', 'marriage', 'counselor', 'cause', 'didnt', 'know', 'better', 'never', 'listened', 'ignored', 'pleading', 'begging', 'stop', 'even', 'today', 'still', 'together', 'god', 'know', 'reason', 'like', 'well', 'sorry', 'happened', 'wa', 'year', 'agofast', 'forward', 'divorced', 'living', 'alone', 'next', 'friend', 'ended', 'best', 'sibling', 'incredibly', 'sad', 'tired', 'trying', 'tried', 'save', 'parent', 'tried', 'save', 'husband', 'one', 'save', 'childhood', 'extreme', 'abandonment', 'issue', 'social', 'anxiety', 'panic', 'attack', 'probably', 'anger', 'issue', 'top', 'husband', 'left', 'suddenly', 'year', 'together', 'quote', 'would', 'play', 'snow', 'last', 'snow', 'storm', 'true', 'thats', 'reason', 'need', 'live', 'die', 'despite', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'bipolar', 'diagnosed', 'bipolar', 'meltdown', 'wa', 'still', 'fault', 'always', 'something', 'fix', 'nowi', 'amhooking', 'another', 'long', 'time', 'friend', 'know', 'badly', 'husband', 'hurt', 'suddenly', 'leaving', 'suddenly', 'distant', 'well', 'hurt', 'much', 'someone', 'would', 'know', 'deep', 'abandonment', 'issue', 'year', 'trying', 'ghost', 'mei', 'dont', 'know', 'wrong', 'extremely', 'attractive', 'physically', 'fit', 'self', 'sufficient', 'really', 'dont', 'ask', 'much', 'anyone', 'adays', 'honest', 'upfront', 'cant', 'give', 'someone', 'love', 'cant', 'give', 'dont', 'understand', 'want', 'understand', 'people', 'treat', 'like', 'think', 'ok', 'dismiss', 'feeling', 'want', 'stop', 'existing', 'anything', 'different', 'see', 'therapist', 'dont', 'like', 'medicine', 'ive', 'taken', 'lifetimei', 'amafraid', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore']
204
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21
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162
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173
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86
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43
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486
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87
['wish', 'wa', 'kid', 'know', 'people', 'didnt', 'greatest', 'childhood', 'still', 'time', 'happiest', 'everything', 'turned', 'shit', 'ive', 'graduated', 'high', 'school', 'wish', 'wa', 'teenager', 'carefree', 'worrying', 'earning', 'money', 'futurei', 'could', 'time', 'world', 'enjoy', 'could', 'watch', 'cartoon', 'play', 'video', 'game', 'give', 'fuck', 'anything', 'miss', 'walking', 'home', 'school', 'listening', 'music', 'miss', 'mom', 'dinner', 'summer', 'break', 'roleplaying', 'friendsnow', 'everyone', 'expects', 'act', 'like', 'adult', 'hate', 'everyone', 'say', 'love', 'school', 'job', 'pay', 'well', 'degree', 'discipline', 'learnim', 'like', 'pouting', 'little', 'kid', 'refuse', 'live', 'life', 'take', 'responsibility', 'feel', 'like', 'death', 'answer']
81
['year', 'old', 'failure', 'ha', 'missed', 'two', 'year', 'school', 'due', 'fucked', 'mind', 'ha', 'hospitalized', 'three', 'time', 'take', 'cocktail', 'pill', 'every', 'day', 'became', 'impotent', 'obssessed', 'mass', 'murder', 'sad', 'anxious', 'apparent', 'reason', 'die', 'already', 'doesnt', 'ball', 'slice', 'carotid']
35
['feel', 'cant', 'even', 'bothered', 'get', 'kill', 'anybody', 'got', 'suggestion', 'quick', 'easy']
11
['hate', 'gonna', 'cant', 'stand', 'variation', 'phraseif', 'gonna', 'would', 'attempted', 'gonna', 'would', 'done', 'already', 'actually', 'suicidal', 'would', 'cut', 'yourselfi', 'dont', 'know', 'maybe', 'right']
22
['considering', 'suicide', 'conservative', 'political', 'belief', 'comment', 'isnt', 'much', 'help']
9
['cant', 'get', 'hold', 'gun', 'pillsi', 'ama', 'former', 'overachiever', 'recent', 'college', 'grad', 'school', 'ive', 'ever', 'good', 'ati', 'aminsecure', 'everything', 'body', 'image', 'intelligence', 'social', 'life', 'finance', 'entering', 'field', 'studied', 'home', 'life', 'suck', 'parent', 'making', 'damn', 'clear', 'dont', 'want', 'around', 'nowhere', 'else', 'go', 'crippling', 'self', 'doubt', 'make', 'damn', 'near', 'impossible', 'create', 'opportunity', 'look', 'forward', 'ive', 'wanting', 'alive', 'summer', 'ha', 'first', 'time', 'could', 'actually', 'visualize', 'ending', 'life', 'ive', 'recently', 'developed', 'feasible', 'plan', 'whats', 'keeping', 'buying', 'antifreeze', 'chugging', 'next', 'day', 'current', 'bank', 'account', 'balance']
79
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77
['run', 'solution', 'help']
3
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151
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103
['ive', 'enough', 'life', 'want', 'die', 'ive', 'got', 'point', 'feel', 'isolated', 'depressed', 'alone', 'work', 'job', 'hate', 'bos', 'make', 'feel', 'terrible', 'nothing', 'ever', 'good', 'enough', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'could', 'hang', 'outside', 'place', 'work', 'see', 'dead', 'corpus', 'hanging', 'tree', 'drive', 'work', 'maybe', 'would', 'good', 'enough', 'leave', 'suicide', 'note', 'body', 'ive', 'never', 'dated', 'life', 'got', 'child', 'family', 'friend', 'wish', 'end', 'got', 'rope', 'want', 'punish', 'pathetic', 'loser', 'hope', 'fucking', 'suffer', 'couldnt', 'born', 'normal', 'hope', 'peace', 'die']
70
['good', 'came', 'year', 'ago', 'dad', 'molested', 'little', 'sister', 'wa', 'never', 'anything', 'though', 'denies', 'longer', 'speaking', 'older', 'brother', 'think', 'sister', 'crazyi', 'amthe', 'middle', 'child', 'taken', 'toll', 'try', 'mediate', 'keep', 'family', 'imploding', 'wife', 'longer', 'trust', 'parent', 'three', 'kid', 'arent', 'allowed', 'sleepover', 'babysitting', 'fast', 'forward', 'april', 'year', 'met', 'girl', 'thing', 'progressed', 'wa', 'looking', 'affair', 'landed', 'lap', 'told', 'wife', 'everything', 'august', 'life', 'truly', 'family', 'friend', 'alone', 'ruminate', 'every', 'day', 'ive', 'done', 'ive', 'thrown', 'away', 'depressed', 'miserable', 'dont', 'see', 'clear', 'solution', 'problem', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'daily', 'sure', 'next']
82
['friend', 'speaking', 'online', 'awhile', 'said', 'wa', 'going', 'kill', 'havent', 'received', 'message', 'awhile', 'amworried', 'didnt', 'know', 'post', 'amheart', 'broken', 'extremely', 'worried', 'find', 'shes', 'alive', 'anyone', 'suggest']
25
['dont', 'see', 'getting', 'better', 'anymore', 'used', 'enjoy', 'thing', 'even', 'wa', 'could', 'see', 'light', 'canti', 'amstuck']
15
['ended', 'month', 'ago', 'soi', 'every', 'day', 'wake', 'feeling', 'dead', 'inside', 'go', 'massive', 'high', 'school', 'mean', 'massive', 'kid', 'per', 'grade', 'lot', 'acquaintance', 'friend', 'mean', 'talking', 'joking', 'people', 'school', 'sport', 'rotting', 'away', 'house', 'work', 'remainder', 'day', 'ive', 'really', 'trying', 'maintain', 'relationship', 'people', 'end', 'getting', 'let', 'nobody', 'want', 'eathang', 'seen', 'social', 'dumpster', 'fire', 'human', 'ive', 'noticed', 'ive', 'using', 'weed', 'nicotine', 'vaping', 'cigs', 'weekly', 'basis', 'make', 'life', 'bearable', 'id', 'sayi', 'amrelatively', 'shape', 'ugly', 'mean', 'ive', 'trying', 'everything', 'make', 'life', 'better', 'nothing', 'working', 'ive', 'seeing', 'shrink', 'past', 'year', 'whole', 'lot', 'senior', 'year', 'rest', 'life', 'going', 'like', 'wont', 'surprised', 'kill', 'beforei', 'cant', 'go', 'one', 'fucking', 'day', 'without', 'cry', 'anyone', 'love', 'fend', 'hell', 'shit', 'crash', 'burn', 'fast', 'trying', 'whine', 'attention', 'need', 'little', 'help', 'thanks']
117
['end', 'really', 'want', 'know', 'like', 'want', 'end', 'dealt', 'long', 'remember', 'still', 'day', 'may', 'ask', 'without', 'stepping', 'boundary', 'make', 'want', 'end', 'need', 'talk', 'feel', 'free', 'message']
25
['ended', 'friendship', 'ive', 'ever', 'dont', 'anything', 'live', 'dont', 'friend', 'dont', 'want', 'friend', 'nothing', 'live', 'give', 'upi', 'sorry', 'matana', 'cant', 'life', 'anymore', 'needed', 'dont', 'ive', 'got', 'futurei', 'ama', 'ugly', 'selfish', 'piece', 'shit', 'desire', 'deal', 'longer', 'quiti', 'sorry', 'wasting', 'life']
38
['tonight', 'might', 'tonight', 'plan', 'event', 'actually', 'decide', 'ptsd', 'cant', 'get', 'flashback', 'head', 'past', 'night', 'dream', 'happened', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'even', 'scared', 'dyingi', 'amtotally', 'calm', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'last', 'night', 'tried', 'calling', 'texting', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'couldnt', 'get', 'thats', 'like', 'sign', 'even', 'professional', 'dont', 'care', 'enough', 'try', 'help', 'mei', 'amjust', 'done']
49
['hurt', 'thing', 'go', 'well', 'week', 'ending', 'sure', 'nothing', 'ha', 'given', 'purpose', 'people', 'want', 'hurt', 'tired', 'cant', 'deal', 'life', 'anymorei', 'amhurting', 'one', 'give', 'fuck', 'people', 'want', 'hurt', 'meediti', 'still', 'surprisingly', 'woke', 'disoriented', 'extremely', 'nauseousi', 'amafraid', 'method', 'didnt', 'work']
37
['dream', 'kill', 'front', 'told', 'one', 'many', 'friend', 'left', 'depression', 'made', 'toxic', 'friend', 'enjoymy', 'dream', 'one', 'day', 'kill', 'front', 'everyone', 'else', 'left', 'wanted', 'tell', 'matter', 'really', 'wanted', 'say', 'iti', 'go', 'whatever', 'event', 'happens', 'everyone', 'left', 'one', 'place', 'look', 'guy', 'eye', 'shoot', 'head', 'good', 'gun', 'maybe', 'even', 'angle', 'blood', 'splatter', 'guy', 'know', 'dont', 'care', 'thinki', 'amjust', 'acting', 'thats', 'literally', 'point', 'itll', 'perfect', 'happy', 'ending', 'never', 'live', 'life', 'one', 'miss', 'miss', 'back', 'people', 'write', 'blog', 'post', 'getting', 'rid', 'accomplishment', 'people', 'celebrate', 'getting', 'rid', 'putting', 'face', 'instagram', 'photo', 'laughing', 'comment', 'never', 'live', 'life', 'free', 'happy', 'know', 'youre', 'rolling', 'eye', 'reading', 'wanted', 'finally', 'tell', 'someone', 'see', 'soon']
102
['ex', 'hate', 'wont', 'come', 'back', 'quit', 'job', 'amazing', 'pay', 'moved', 'back', 'parent', 'cant', 'stand', 'stress', 'getting', 'job', 'going', 'nut', 'alone', 'day', 'friend', 'helped', 'thing', 'getting', 'worse', 'talking', 'mean', 'le', 'le', 'life', 'isnt', 'moving', 'wanted', 'talk', 'ex', 'told', 'wanted', 'die', 'needed', 'help', 'wont', 'talk', 'theyre', 'coming', 'back', 'cant', 'deal', 'thing', 'look', 'forward', 'smoking', 'weed', 'trying', 'fuck']
55
['suicidal', 'people', 'dont', 'respect', 'taken', 'advantage', 'parent', 'people', 'people', 'talking', 'behind', 'back', 'school', 'work', 'bullied', 'online', 'irl', 'hr', 'wa', 'last', 'straw', 'people', 'want', 'kill', 'livei', 'amdone', 'everythingi', 'amweak', 'people', 'want', 'fail', 'made', 'fun', 'wa', 'successful', 'theyre', 'laughing', 'hit', 'rock', 'bottom', 'nobody', 'respect', 'except', 'coworkers', 'work', 'fucking', 'hr', 'lied', 'giving', 'birthday', 'card', 'didnt', 'give', 'coworkers', 'called', 'hr', 'ignores', 'act', 'fake', 'see', 'respect', 'confident', 'high', 'schoolers', 'shitty', 'retail', 'jobsuicidal', 'people', 'dont', 'respect', 'taken', 'advantage', 'parent', 'people', 'people', 'talking', 'behind', 'back', 'school', 'work', 'bullied', 'online', 'irl', 'hr', 'wa', 'last', 'straw', 'people', 'want', 'kill', 'live']
91
['numb', 'used', 'sting', 'doesnt', 'called', 'awful', 'name', 'hurt', 'stabbed', 'chest', 'word', 'go', 'right', 'leaving', 'empty', 'numbing', 'feelingonly', 'dying', 'felt', 'way']
20
['give', 'reason', 'give', 'reason', 'fight', 'anyone', 'dont', 'tell', 'care', 'dont', 'know', 'monster', 'head', 'want', 'deadi', 'amalways', 'arguing', 'self', 'everyone', 'say', 'need', 'want', 'fulfilled', 'nothing', 'tool', 'abusing', 'love', 'ha', 'become', 'common', 'everyone', 'nobody', 'fault', 'owni', 'amalways', 'cold', 'alone', 'sometimes', 'tear', 'fall', 'cold', 'floor', 'make', 'small', 'puddle', 'hate']
46
['think', 'suicide', 'time', 'happens', 'think', 'suicide', 'casually', 'breathing', 'guess', 'really', 'hate']
11
['hello', 'havent', 'really', 'written', 'anything', 'reddit', 'matter', 'perhaps', 'becausei', 'amscared', 'might', 'write', 'maybei', 'amscared', 'answer', 'others', 'might', 'give', 'anywaysi', 'ama', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'everyday', 'problem', 'one', 'would', 'presume', 'way', 'much', 'drinking', 'cocaine', 'always', 'go', 'hand', 'hand', 'got', 'friend', 'dear', 'friend', 'might', 'add', 'doe', 'thing', 'cant', 'say', 'persuade', 'anything', 'drug', 'related', 'least', 'contribute', 'wouldnt', 'want', 'change', 'personfor', 'worthi', 'amsinking', 'deeper', 'deeper', 'obsession', 'thati', 'happy', 'doesnt', 'surprise', 'longer', 'go', 'aint', 'gonna', 'happy', 'even', 'contempt', 'anythingi', 'everything', 'seems', 'work', 'thing', 'arent', 'enough', 'ive', 'tried', 'end', 'self', 'numerous', 'occasion', 'cant', 'life', 'life', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'life', 'considering', 'cant', 'cope', 'fault', 'haveit', 'seems', 'reader', 'thati', 'amrambling', 'rambling', 'least', 'ramble', 'saying', 'something', 'point', 'view']
107
['gonna', 'th', 'july', 'hope', 'month', 'enough', 'change', 'mind']
8
['sorry', 'need', 'say', 'every', 'time', 'sepak', 'profesonal', 'call', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'immediately', 'get', 'threatened', 'called', 'emergancytt', 'service', 'family', 'informed', 'even', 'dosed', 'blood', 'test', 'kept', 'saying', 'going', 'tell', 'parent', 'really', 'hurtsbecuase', 'obviously', 'cant', 'talk', 'parent', 'feeling', 'inside', 'wouldnt', 'reaching', 'source', 'thats', 'whyi', 'trying', 'source', 'really', 'hate', 'self', 'much', 'really', 'want', 'kill', 'self', 'forum', 'long', 'time', 'made', 'decision', 'life', 'move', 'forward', 'towards', 'normal', 'life', 'towards', 'happy', 'still', 'day', 'depressed', 'wanting', 'die', 'much', 'literally', 'cant', 'destroy', 'mum', 'guinea', 'pig', 'cat', 'love', 'really', 'cant', 'f', 'didnt', 'would', 'without', 'hesitation', 'leavethis', 'world', 'family', 'doesnt', 'believe', 'mental', 'health', 'never', 'professional', 'person', 'mental', 'healt', 'hspeak', 'except', 'oded', 'hospital', 'gave', 'number', 'nurse', 'call', 'aunt', 'wa', 'person', 'called', 'time', 'told', 'knew', 'wasnt', 'trying', 'kill', 'wasnt', 'serious', 'would', 'done', 'properly', 'wa', 'serious', 'day', 'mum', 'ha', 'idea', 'tha', 'tall', 'ahppened', 'wa', 'town', 'time', 'took', 'drug', 'day', 'aunt', 'speak', 'today', 'even', 'random', 'dollar', 'store', 'uncle', 'tell', 'aunt', 'saidi', 'ama', 'human', 'recorder', 'like', 'sayin', 'gthat', 'repeat', 'everything', 'anyone', 'say', 'told', 'ever', 'tell', 'anyone', 'told', 'oding', 'would', 'make', 'lie', 'thing', 'ive', 'never', 'ever', 'ever', 'said', 'thing', 'shes', 'said', 'anyone', 'literally', 'one', 'friend', 'ntohing', 'one', 'except', 'animal', 'even', 'goin', 'gto', 'say', 'anything', 'dont', 'fucking', 'get', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'sad', 'want', 'leave', 'fucking', 'worldi', 'soory', 'everyonei', 'sorry', 'hate', 'self', 'much', 'nothing', 'dno', 'one', 'ok', 'bye', 'sorry']
208
['last', 'yell', 'help', 'week', 'month', 'go', 'loneliness', 'stand', 'side', 'thats', 'price', 'iron', 'loneliness', 'thats', 'nightmare', 'existence', 'allone', 'forgotten', 'let', 'exil', 'without', 'love', 'warm', 'hope', 'longing', 'burn', 'inside', 'hear', 'voice', 'conversation', 'noone', 'talkes', 'want', 'get', 'want', 'get', 'away', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'wrong', 'mei', 'amhealthywhere', 'people', 'promised', 'love', 'parent', 'produced', 'friend', 'stood', 'woman', 'love', 'forget', 'everybody', 'forget', 'abandon', 'leave', 'behind', 'cant', 'anybody', 'remember', 'cant', 'anybody', 'help', 'completly', 'alone', 'wheres', 'doctor', 'nurse', 'need', 'helpi', 'amafraid', 'help']
73
['hey', 'life', 'actually', 'die', 'ive', 'lived', 'life', 'ive', 'dated', 'blood', 'ive', 'smiled', 'like', 'wa', 'halloweeni', 'ama', 'guy', 'gamer', 'another', 'person', 'right', 'second', 'time', 'ive', 'bit', 'barrel', 'gun', 'weeki', 'amalone', 'alone', 'noone', 'like', 'pretend', 'someonei', 'noti', 'never', 'gf', 'never', 'kissed', 'anyone', 'nev', 'er', 'hugged', 'non', 'family', 'member', 'never', 'cuddled', 'never', 'even', 'held', 'someone', 'fucking', 'hand', 'girl', 'time', 'say', 'thats', 'flipping', 'true', 'stop', 'talking', 'hour', 'everyone', 'ghost', 'freaking', 'reason', 'dumbi', 'nice', 'people', 'give', 'everything', 'want', 'never', 'anyone', 'noone', 'ever', 'feel', 'pain', 'smile', 'cut', 'smile', 'wanna', 'die', 'see', 'light', 'wanna', 'cry', 'instead', 'continuing', 'h', 'fight', 'whats', 'like', 'actually', 'someone', 'armsi', 'virginia', 'usai', 'ama', 'guy', 'everytime', 'try', 'seek', 'help', 'people', 'like', 'call', 'people', 'thry', 'help', 'wanna', 'know', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'doe', 'track', 'ur', 'number', 'send', 'police', 'house', 'put', 'shit', 'put', 'u', 'fucking', 'debt', 'instead', 'pushing', 'someone', 'like', 'freaking', 'talk', 'yourselfi', 'ambleeding', 'fucking', 'river', 'legit', 'someone', 'saw', 'bleedingto', 'death', 'public', 'theyd', 'probably', 'dial', 'phone', 'walk', 'away', 'wa', 'laying', 'bleeding', 'death', 'thats', 'fucked', 'people', 'legit', 'noone', 'give', 'fuck', 'anymore', 'hell', 'end', 'bet', 'anyone', 'saysi', 'amhere', 'leave', 'within', 'hour', 'soi', 'even', 'guna', 'bother', 'one', 'leave', 'within', 'hour', 'time']
180
['suicidal', 'ready', 'go', 'full', 'fledged', 'suicide', 'plan', 'whether', 'willing', 'risk', 'left', 'hope', 'almost', 'none', 'fighting', 'spirit', 'burnt', 'pipe', 'dream', 'regaining', 'elusive', 'sense', 'trust', 'ever', 'materialized', 'traumatic', 'anomaly', 'whetheri', 'still', 'stuck', 'tequila', 'prescription', 'med', 'whether', 'suicidal']
35
['soul', 'ha', 'destroyed', 'perhaps', 'wasnt', 'worth', 'saving']
7
['amgiving', 'upi', 'ama', 'terrible', 'person', 'doesnt', 'deserve', 'good', 'life', 'life', 'happened', 'last', 'year', 'entered', 'college', 'freshman', 'wa', 'assigned', 'roommate', 'wa', 'creepy', 'would', 'come', 'home', 'would', 'bed', 'claiming', 'wa', 'tired', 'however', 'wa', 'creep', 'wasone', 'time', 'sleeping', 'wa', 'looking', 'pornography', 'porn', 'slightly', 'rubbing', 'penis', 'mattress', 'accidentally', 'made', 'climax', 'felt', 'terrible', 'especially', 'unsure', 'roommate', 'saw', 'wa', 'happening', 'time', 'ocd', 'currently', 'getting', 'treatment', 'got', 'treatment', 'wanted', 'find', 'really', 'saw', 'planned', 'masturbate', 'multiple', 'night', 'see', 'would', 'say', 'something', 'notice', 'would', 'masturbate', 'quietly', 'thrusting', 'mattress', 'blanket', 'covering', 'meon', 'one', 'night', 'going', 'bed', 'saidi', 'amactually', 'gonna', 'go', 'read', 'good', 'night', 'left', 'wa', 'mortified', 'didnt', 'know', 'meant', 'knew', 'wa', 'got', 'back', 'masturbated', 'quietly', 'thrusting', 'mattress', 'see', 'noticedim', 'going', 'kill', 'feel', 'terrible', 'put', 'feel', 'like', 'creep', 'pervert', 'dont', 'deserve', 'live', 'doesnt', 'talk', 'moved', 'last', 'october', 'due', 'comfortable', 'would', 'bed', 'got', 'home', 'messing', 'stuff', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'cant', 'live', 'guilt']
140
['give', 'one', 'reason', 'give', 'one', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'good', 'life', 'gf', 'big', 'family', 'k', 'year', 'job', 'big', 'circle', 'friend', 'dont', 'care', 'like', 'literally', 'dont', 'care', 'anything', 'whats', 'point', 'ive', 'already', 'done', 'therapy', 'everything', 'one', 'actually', 'give', 'one', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'need', 'get', 'donei', 'humor']
42
['amgetting', 'day', 'anyone', 'uk', 'want', 'join', 'pm', 'kind', 'wanna', 'sex', 'go', 'guess', 'thats', 'gonna', 'happen', 'nothing', 'therefore', 'become', 'nothingi', 'trying', 'trivialize', 'anything', 'simply', 'leaving', 'f', 'paranoid', 'personality', 'disorder', 'depression', 'agoraphobia', 'psychotic', 'symptom', 'present', 'offended', 'anyone', 'post', 'theni', 'sorry', 'really', 'dying', 'soon', 'dont', 'time', 'careful']
44
['wa', 'car', 'crash', 'yesterday', 'wish', 'died', 'wa', 'one', 'crash', 'wa', 'accident', 'intentional', 'yet', 'got', 'away', 'cut', 'bruise', 'sore', 'neck', 'wish', 'killed', 'bad', 'universe', 'ha', 'sick', 'sense', 'humor', 'allow']
28
['nobody', 'love', 'nobody', 'care', 'die', 'life', 'always', 'tried', 'good', 'person', 'possible', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'cruel', 'worldi', 'amlonely', 'depressed', 'forgotten', 'die', 'nobody', 'remember', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'last', 'day', 'getting', 'pretty', 'serious']
28
['feel', 'horribly', 'depressed', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'dying', 'wouldnt', 'big', 'deal', 'sometimes', 'get', 'horribly', 'depressed', 'idk', 'actual', 'depression', 'wa', 'never', 'properly', 'diagnosed', 'get', 'bad', 'point', 'dont', 'want', 'act', 'hurting', 'think', 'wouldnt', 'bother', 'dropped', 'dead', 'depressive', 'episode', 'get', 'intense', 'amount', 'self', 'loathing', 'intrusive', 'thought', 'saying', 'youre', 'ugly', 'youre', 'horrible', 'art', 'reason', 'youre', 'like', 'youre', 'accident', 'parent', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'everyone', 'secretly', 'hate']
60
['attempted', 'suicide', 'paris', 'last', 'week', 'everything', 'still', 'seems', 'hopeless', 'wa', 'supposed', 'go', 'law', 'school', 'book', 'reminder', 'failed', 'ambitionsi', 'feel', 'like', 'life', 'already', 'failure', 'doomed', 'live', 'horrible', 'life', 'feel', 'alone']
29
['looking', 'video', 'alright', 'know', 'description', 'vague', 'wa', 'wondering', 'anyone', 'link', 'video', 'good', 'one', 'think', 'people', 'enjoy', 'essentially', 'video', 'younger', 'black', 'male', 'talking', 'either', 'suicide', 'depression', 'take', 'strength', 'get', 'may', 'reading', 'poemthank']
31
['good', 'lonely', 'wednesday', 'heyi', 'amhaving', 'one', 'worst', 'day', 'long', 'time', 'usual', 'network', 'support', 'unavailable', 'usually', 'id', 'text', 'brother', 'hed', 'reply', 'something', 'interesting', 'funny', 'weve', 'fight', 'left', 'existential', 'dread', 'cant', 'stop', 'drinking', 'smoking', 'imagining', 'therapist', 'vacation', 'cant', 'even', 'bear', 'thought', 'looking', 'new', 'one', 'would', 'kindly', 'post', 'something', 'interestingfunnykind', 'help', 'get', 'shitty', 'wednesday']
51
['amseriously', 'thinking', 'killing', 'myselfi', 'coursei', 'high', 'school', 'failing', 'class', 'freshman', 'year', 'promised', 'mom', 'would', 'get', 'class', 'ha', 'grade', 'lower', 'b', 'month', 'school', 'mom', 'see', 'c', 'grade', 'total', 'missing', 'assignment', 'start', 'hurling', 'hurtful', 'word', 'pls', 'help']
35
['suicidal', 'thought', 'boredomdissatisfaction', 'lately', 'ive', 'intrusive', 'thought', 'due', 'overall', 'sense', 'unsatisfied', 'life', 'even', 'though', 'outsider', 'perspective', 'pretty', 'good', 'typical', 'depressive', 'spell', 'deal', 'like', 'intense', 'feeling', 'feeling', 'content', 'feeling', 'tired', 'current', 'stage', 'life', 'excitement', 'novelty', 'wear', 'fast', 'time', 'though', 'turned', 'dark', 'talking', 'therapist', 'today', 'irritating', 'make', 'antsy', 'concerning', 'term', 'suicidalty']
49
['done', 'life', 'life', 'getting', 'existing', 'dont', 'job', 'grand', 'live', 'parent', 'got', 'associate', 'degree', 'visual', 'art', 'got', 'good', 'art', 'school', 'decided', 'go', 'started', 'feel', 'like', 'art', 'school', 'art', 'general', 'wa', 'realistic', 'pursuing', 'degree', 'felt', 'like', 'bullshit', 'havent', 'made', 'art', 'feel', 'like', 'even', 'importanti', 'amconfused', 'ever', 'thought', 'wa', 'good', 'idea', 'dont', 'feel', 'interested', 'dont', 'know', 'suicide', 'always', 'going', 'head', 'wake', 'irritated', 'thati', 'still', 'alive', 'ive', 'treatment', 'recently', 'month', 'depression', 'nothing', 'help', 'dont', 'find', 'joy', 'life', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'amsupposed', 'dont', 'give', 'fuck', 'anything', 'nothing', 'appeal', 'feel', 'stupid', 'boring', 'confused', 'really', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'anythingi', 'amconsidering', 'gambling', 'see', 'hit', 'big']
96
['ama', 'waste', 'human', 'like', 'think', 'accurate', 'evaluation', 'wheni', 'amdrunk', 'day', 'way', 'feel', 'emotion', 'wheni', 'amdrunk', 'due', 'need', 'supress', 'emotion', 'normally', 'know', 'good', 'idea', 'drink', 'state', 'need', 'keep', 'normality', 'front', 'people', 'drinking', 'socially', 'dont', 'want', 'knowingi', 'amsuicidalanywayi', 'amgenuinely', 'terrible', 'waste', 'time', 'believe', 'mean', 'nothing', 'nobody', 'know', 'sound', 'bit', 'needy', 'pathetic', 'one', 'reason', 'hate', 'myselfi', 'amgenerally', 'closed', 'person', 'know', 'unhelpful', 'good', 'thing', 'howeveri', 'belief', 'expose', 'face', 'rejection', 'burden', 'people', 'better', 'keep', 'myselfi', 'really', 'need', 'die', 'faggoti', 'amalso', 'lonely', 'piece', 'shit', 'hell', 'dog', 'doesnt', 'even', 'give', 'shit', 'would', 'keep', 'faith', 'thought', 'personality', 'underneath', 'self', 'hatred', 'wa', 'worth', 'anything', 'turn', 'outi', 'amjust', 'piece', 'shit', 'core', 'hopefully', 'soon', 'able', 'brutally', 'mutilate', 'drink', 'death', 'bleach', 'soon', 'make', 'world', 'better', 'place', 'mother', 'didnt', 'give', 'birth', 'shitty', 'could', 'come']
121
['really', 'wa', 'complete', 'joke', 'survived', 'car', 'crash', 'want', 'die', 'plain', 'simple', 'wa', 'car', 'crash', 'yesterday', 'wa', 'complete', 'accident', 'today', 'went', 'junkyard', 'saw', 'almost', 'killed', 'day', 'crash', 'rolled', 'ditch', 'due', 'wet', 'slippery', 'road', 'struck', 'power', 'pole', 'mph', 'trunk', 'took', 'direct', 'hit', 'wa', 'completely', 'crushed', 'pole', 'hit', 'front', 'row', 'seat', 'would', 'dead', 'easily', 'yet', 'cut', 'bruise', 'hilarious', 'really', 'crave', 'death', 'yet', 'wasnt', 'even', 'granted', 'car', 'accident', 'whereas', 'thousand', 'die', 'every', 'year', 'crash', 'guess', 'life', 'isnt', 'done', 'tormenting', 'making', 'suffer', 'ifi', 'amunable', 'die', 'person', 'doesnt', 'want', 'live', 'complete', 'joke']
86
['another', 'whiny', 'straight', 'white', 'man', 'hey', 'redditi', 'feel', 'like', 'screwed', 'long', 'distance', 'relationship', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'gf', 'told', 'kissed', 'someone', 'else', 'country', 'responded', 'confessing', 'hooking', 'ex', 'current', 'gf', 'dating', 'became', 'officialexclusive', 'appears', 'shes', 'blocked', 'app', 'use', 'communicate', 'usually', 'amafraid', 'shes', 'going', 'hook', 'someone', 'else', 'andor', 'break', 'andor', 'even', 'speak', 'know', 'people', 'subject', 'real', 'problem', 'life', 'struggled', 'depression', 'past', 'yearsi', 'ha', 'happened', 'gfi', 'amfeeling', 'whole', 'different', 'type', 'emptiness', 'amactually', 'afraid', 'act', 'newness', 'bleakness', 'ha', 'got', 'worried', 'familiar', 'spiraling', 'thought', 'nowhere', 'seen', 'see', 'mind', 'eye', 'nothing', 'dont', 'want', 'crappy', 'job', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'home', 'tonight', 'sit', 'dinner', 'family', 'pretend', 'like', 'feeling', 'something', 'nothing', 'dont', 'want', 'close', 'eye', 'open', 'still', 'living']
109
['day', 'feel', 'like', 'biggest', 'ct', 'world', 'friend', 'dog', 'died', 'week', 'ago', 'found', 'day', 'ago', 'wanted', 'comfort', 'shes', 'always', 'wa', 'remind', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'made', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'shes', 'talking', 'shes', 'friend', 'everyone', 'else', 'ghosted', 'one', 'might', 'even', 'killed', 'wasnt', 'swallowed', 'pill', 'nowi', 'amjust', 'waiting', 'take', 'effect']
46
['amending', 'tomorrow', 'leave', 'note', 'nobody', 'going', 'talk', 'plan', 'ready', 'amfinally', 'sure', 'happening', 'actually', 'left', 'feeling', 'peaceful', 'knowing', 'going', 'thing', 'mind', 'right', 'knowing', 'going', 'absolutely', 'destroy', 'family', 'know', 'selfish', 'decision', 'cant', 'stand', 'go', 'longer', 'leave', 'note', 'better', 'let', 'imagine', 'deal', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'id', 'write', 'note', 'cant', 'even', 'put', 'word', 'feel', 'knowing', 'ha', 'end']
53
['thinking', 'alot', 'ever', 'since', 'brother', 'moved', 'ive', 'stuck', 'herei', 'job', 'money', 'nothing', 'stuck', 'home', 'cant', 'get', 'job', 'cant', 'go', 'anywhere', 'car', 'live', 'mile', 'anything', 'every', 'day', 'wake', 'think', 'today', 'day', 'ever', 'night', 'fall', 'asleep', 'sleep', 'wonder', 'didnt', 'iti', 'wanting', 'wanting', 'destroy', 'mom', 'would', 'never', 'time', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'brother', 'wa', 'always', 'kind', 'best', 'friend', 'wont', 'even', 'pick', 'fucking', 'phone', 'call', 'literally', 'second', 'getting', 'text', 'happened', 'wa', 'typing', 'definitely', 'ha', 'phone', 'hand', 'stilli', 'even', 'going', 'tell', 'want', 'selfish', 'fuck', 'typing', 'make', 'want', 'think', 'want', 'tomorrow', 'already', 'everything', 'need', 'option', 'could', 'go', 'drug', 'gun', 'hanging', 'whatever', 'dont', 'fucking', 'care', 'anymore']
98
['done', 'everything', 'done', 'everything']
4
['cant', 'stop', 'drowning', 'get', 'man', 'nothing', 'depressed', 'dont', 'think', 'stop', 'sensitiveim', 'tired', 'hearing', 'thisi', 'cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'killing', 'take', 'medication', 'everyday', 'stopped', 'week', 'back', 'amgetting', 'closer', 'something', 'admitted', 'depressed', 'therapist', 'doctor', 'havent', 'admitted', 'suicidal', 'afraid', 'might', 'happenive', 'going', 'work', 'trying', 'positive', 'constantly', 'think', 'ending', 'day', 'cant', 'shut', 'suffocating', 'point', 'convinced', 'kill', 'ive', 'trying', 'self', 'harm', 'drink', 'take', 'drug', 'getting', 'harder', 'dont', 'want', 'seem', 'like', 'attention', 'seeker', 'one', 'take', 'seriously', 'cant', 'take', 'itim', 'scared', 'lost']
74
['tried', 'escaping', 'nmom', 'son', 'ha', 'taken', 'away', 'trying', 'portray', 'bad', 'mother', 'cant', 'go', 'booked', 'hotel', 'tonight', 'kill', 'work', 'motivation', 'wa', 'son', 'father', 'wont', 'let', 'see', 'thank', 'amazingi', 'think', 'love', 'final', 'hoursplease', 'dont', 'try', 'talk', 'outits', 'time']
36
['vein', 'ive', 'struggled', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'majority', 'adolescent', 'life', 'saidi', 'amno', 'stranger', 'temptation', 'suicide', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'back', 'highschool', 'always', 'issue', 'selfharm', 'gave', 'life', 'god', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'seemed', 'alleviate', 'pain', 'season', 'sobered', 'reference', 'cutting', 'nearly', 'three', 'year', 'afterwards', 'nowi', 'amnearly', 'almost', 'divorcee', 'daysi', 'fine', 'day', 'struggle', 'get', 'bed', 'morning', 'love', 'life', 'best', 'friend', 'six', 'year', 'helped', 'depression', 'brought', 'god', 'decided', 'wasnt', 'good', 'enough', 'anymore', 'cheated', 'god', 'know', 'many', 'time', 'different', 'people', 'happy', 'new', 'relationship', 'feel', 'likei', 'amstarting', 'grieving', 'process', 'wa', 'happy', 'starting', 'anew', 'acceptance', 'marriage', 'wa', 'alternate', 'stage', 'daysi', 'angry', 'bitter', 'seek', 'revenge', 'day', 'come', 'home', 'work', 'go', 'straight', 'bed', 'one', 'person', 'asks', 'ifi', 'amoki', 'amjust', 'going', 'lose', 'day', 'prefer', 'day', 'get', 'glammed', 'uphold', 'hot', 'attitude', 'sadly', 'day', 'far', 'ive', 'become', 'increasingly', 'aware', 'prominent', 'vein', 'arm', 'tiny', 'bluepurple', 'tinge', 'provides', 'nice', 'contrast', 'porcelain', 'casper', 'friendly', 'ghost', 'arm', 'often', 'fantasize', 'coming', 'home', 'long', 'hard', 'day', 'work', 'running', 'nice', 'warm', 'bathtub', 'water', 'slitting', 'open', 'leaving', 'roommate', 'find', 'know', 'sound', 'disturbing', 'probably', 'selfish', 'ive', 'done', 'act', 'selflessly', 'screwed', 'abandoned', 'sometimes', 'thing', 'stopping', 'knowing', 'husky', 'relies', 'died', 'hed', 'sent', 'live', 'ex', 'hed', 'neglected']
177
['killed', 'dream', 'felt', 'peaceful', 'killed', 'dream', 'waking', 'instead', 'alarmed', 'scared', 'actually', 'felt', 'peaceful', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'awhile', 'ptsd', 'depression', 'ive', 'trying', 'stay', 'alive', 'crowdsourcing', 'passion', 'see', 'work', 'people', 'care', 'doesnt', 'work', 'might', 'end', 'actually', 'felt', 'depressed', 'access', 'everyday', 'still', 'nobody', 'appreciates', 'even', 'huge', 'long', 'youre', 'putting', 'effort', 'dont', 'see', 'purpose', 'living', 'youre', 'thing', 'love', 'living', 'ptsd', 'really', 'fun', 'haunt', 'anytime', 'anywhere', 'sometimes', 'dont', 'think', 'deal', 'anymore', 'hide', 'everyone', 'else', 'pretend', 'youre', 'fine', 'youre', 'actually', 'depression', 'ptsd', 'talked', 'people', 'think', 'youre', 'overdramatic', 'person', 'ive', 'told', 'parent', 'act', 'like', 'didnt', 'happen', 'sometimes', 'make', 'joke', 'issuei', 'amfacing', 'everytime', 'feel', 'depressed', 'sometimes', 'would', 'something', 'know', 'bad', 'like', 'mixing', 'alcohol', 'stuff', 'taking', 'lot', 'med', 'sleep', 'pain', 'wheni', 'scared', 'cry', 'sleep', 'maybe', 'maybe', 'kill', 'would', 'still', 'peaceful', 'feel', 'satisfaction', 'dream']
123
['made', 'mind', 'going', 'hour', 'later', 'goodbye', 'everyone']
7
['hallucinationsi', 'amonly', 'past', 'month', 'ive', 'seeing', 'hallucination', 'everyday', 'talk', 'hour', 'want', 'get', 'rid']
13
['done', 'waiting', 'end', 'come', 'wishing', 'strength', 'stand', 'planned', 'control', 'repeat', 'terrible', 'mindset', 'fucking', 'loser', 'piece', 'shit', 'thinking', 'killing', 'year', 'think', 'winter']
21
['really', 'want', 'country', 'hi', 'whats', 'wrong']
6
['life', 'went', 'counselor', 'told', 'something', 'shouldnt', 'counselor', 'reported', 'family', 'gonna', 'ruined', 'family', 'last', 'thing', 'guilt', 'anxiety', 'unbearablei', 'amdestined', 'alone', 'thought', 'shouldnt', 'messed', 'destiny']
23
['ive', 'thinking', 'dying', 'latelyi', 'going', 'try', 'ive', 'thinking', 'told', 'one', 'coworkers', 'laughed', 'mei', 'going', 'tell', 'bos', 'everyone', 'joke', 'amthe', 'one', 'doesnt', 'think', 'funny']
23
['amfeeling', 'low', 'dont', 'know', 'happened', 'dont', 'know', 'crept', 'came', 'nowhere', 'amfeeling', 'low', 'today', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'first', 'time', 'since', 'last', 'hospitalization', 'june', 'electroconvulsive', 'therapy', 'done', 'time', 'think', 'felt', 'fine', 'thought', 'today', 'cant', 'seem', 'shake', 'thought', 'dont', 'know', 'talk', 'last', 'person', 'deemed', 'best', 'friend', 'called', 'selfish', 'eventually', 'left', 'life', 'recently', 'saying', 'wasnt', 'therapist', 'dont', 'want', 'push', 'anybody', 'away', 'ive', 'told', 'girlfriend', 'thati', 'amvery', 'sad', 'today', 'doesnt', 'know', 'extent', 'iti', 'going', 'counseling', 'service', 'university', 'tomorrow', 'talk', 'amhoping', 'cantwont', 'hospitalize', 'need', 'cry', 'cant', 'feel', 'awful']
81
['ive', 'decidedi', 'amready', 'go', 'get', 'onemonth', 'refill', 'generic', 'ativan', 'lorazepam', 'tomorrow', 'mg', 'pill', 'hope', 'majority', 'ml', 'bottle', 'rum', 'enough', 'end', 'without', 'causing', 'much', 'messi', 'tired', 'social', 'anxiety', 'shit', 'job', 'depression', 'get', 'refill', 'tomorrow', 'wait', 'till', 'everyone', 'asleep', 'hope', 'gone', 'morning']
40
['incurable', 'genetic', 'condition', 'trimethylaminuria', 'would', 'like', 'end', 'life', 'october', 'st', 'permanent', 'solution', 'permanent', 'problem', 'whyi', 'amhoping', 'dignitas']
17
['peace', 'tonight', 'soi', 'amkilling', 'myslef', 'tonight', 'life', 'always', 'mundane', 'nothing', 'exciting', 'many', 'drug', 'high', 'school', 'thati', 'amout', 'life', 'isnt', 'fun', 'friend', 'family', 'miss', 'ive', 'caused', 'much', 'pain', 'better', 'ifi', 'amgonei', 'amactually', 'excited', 'see', 'whats', 'death', 'kind', 'like', 'mystery', 'ive', 'always', 'wanted', 'know', 'finally', 'know', 'meet', 'godi', 'going', 'give', 'biggest', 'fucking', 'middle', 'finger', 'ever']
53
['anyone', 'else', 'scared', 'going', 'hell', 'commit', 'suicide']
7
['crushing', 'feeling', 'get', 'realize', 'never', 'going', 'get', 'betteri', 'amstuck', 'position', 'never', 'asked', 'due', 'mother', 'mistake', 'self', 'destructive', 'behavior', 'ive', 'tried', 'help', 'longer', 'feel', 'come', 'point', 'realize', 'cant', 'help', 'never', 'going', 'get', 'better', 'jumping', 'fremont', 'probably', 'logical', 'choice', 'left', 'cant', 'thisi', 'amonly', 'seeing', 'failure', 'trying', 'bail', 'sinking', 'ship', 'mother', 'continues', 'drill', 'hole']
51
['feel', 'sick', 'dealt', 'bad', 'card', 'cant', 'feel', 'happy', 'job', 'security', 'futurei', 'ama', 'wasted', 'life', 'drinking', 'smoking', 'weed', 'wa', 'creative', 'social', 'kid', 'growing', 'rarely', 'see', 'friend', 'feel', 'spaced', 'likei', 'effort', 'hang', 'withi', 'feel', 'sick', 'flu', 'mood', 'ha', 'plummeted', 'ive', 'thought', 'suicide', 'every', 'minute', 'day', 'dont', 'want', 'leave', 'family', 'behind', 'feel', 'likei', 'amjust', 'rotting', 'awaymy', 'brother', 'best', 'person', 'know', 'quite', 'bit', 'shorter', 'average', 'person', 'hasnt', 'success', 'woman', 'short', 'insecure', 'though', 'doe', 'everything', 'concrete', 'good', 'life', 'something', 'make', 'suicidal', 'man', 'personality', 'hobby', 'financially', 'ambitoin', 'wise', 'still', 'get', 'ignored', 'woman', 'due', 'height', 'world', 'begging', 'acceptance', 'love', 'everyone', 'shorter', 'men', 'still', 'laughing', 'stock', 'sickening', 'reality', 'alone', 'make', 'want', 'end', 'cant', 'bare', 'watch', 'sweet', 'guy', 'keep', 'getting', 'kicked', 'back', 'every', 'effort', 'see', 'hurt', 'himim', 'know', 'find', 'someone', 'wish', 'issue', 'heightism', 'wa', 'brough', 'matter', 'liberated', 'woman', 'need', 'taller', 'man', 'feel', 'protected', 'get', 'make', 'sense', 'destroys', 'heartsminds', 'whole', 'demographic', 'one', 'caresi', 'qualificationdegrees', 'lost', 'ambition', 'persue', 'career', 'accepted', 'labourfactory', 'work', 'life', 'couldve', 'done', 'want', 'snap', 'gear', 'take', 'life', 'horn', 'feel', 'sick', 'wish', 'could', 'find', 'place', 'woman', 'liked', 'shorter', 'men', 'good', 'hook', 'brother', 'would', 'trade', 'limb', 'half', 'foot', 'bigger', 'know', 'sound', 'selfish', 'focus', 'bros', 'height', 'saw', 'form', 'stood', 'ha', 'disrespectedoverlookedunacknowledged', 'past', 'due', 'height', 'woman', 'dont', 'give', 'second', 'chance', 'make', 'light', 'height', 'youd', 'good', 'bf', 'short', 'hate', 'nobody', 'tell', 'woman', 'youre', 'fat', 'yet', 'exact', 'thing']
214
['mother', 'walked', 'gun', 'head', 'yelled', 'drinking', 'yelled', 'apparently', 'scuffing', 'brother', 'gun', 'got', 'chance', 'use', 'mean', 'like', 'wa', 'seeking', 'attention', 'anything', 'would', 'nice', 'least', 'acknowledged', 'wa', 'second', 'away', 'splattering', 'brain', 'garage', 'wall', 'maybe', 'berate', 'wanting', 'especially', 'since', 'lot', 'distress', 'lately', 'stem', 'denying', 'difficulty', 'ive', 'dealing', 'lately', 'legitimate', 'sorryi', 'amjust', 'venting', 'tell', 'somebody', 'shitty', 'feel', 'whole', 'thing', 'prof', 'nobody', 'would', 'care', 'ifi', 'amgone']
61
['survived', 'story', 'depression', 'struggle', 'post', 'long', 'bare', 'mehii', 'amredditor', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'wa', 'born', 'low', 'income', 'family', 'brother', 'wa', 'handicapped', 'parent', 'working', 'hour', 'long', 'day', 'old', 'company', 'fallen', 'debt', 'wa', 'huge', 'starting', 'new', 'company', 'could', 'pay', 'bill', 'provide', 'u', 'couldnt', 'afford', 'daycare', 'anything', 'special', 'brother', 'needed', 'taken', 'care', 'took', 'care', 'since', 'wa', 'year', 'old', 'rarely', 'saw', 'parent', 'working', 'weekend', 'well', 'didnt', 'spare', 'time', 'situation', 'brother', 'someone', 'take', 'care', 'house', 'grocery', 'house', 'chore', 'including', 'cooking', 'cleaning', 'walked', 'brother', 'school', 'disabled', 'kid', 'picked', 'well', 'make', 'clear', 'parent', 'didnt', 'ask', 'cause', 'one', 'else', 'could', 'effort', 'parent', 'made', 'next', 'year', 'firm', 'turned', 'success', 'enough', 'money', 'move', 'better', 'place', 'got', 'new', 'car', 'got', 'pc', 'everything', 'seemed', 'turn', 'welli', 'wa', 'moved', 'new', 'town', 'wa', 'small', 'place', 'people', 'living', 'first', 'couple', 'week', 'went', 'ok', 'untill', 'older', 'kid', 'started', 'bully', 'brother', 'like', 'teasing', 'beating', 'telling', 'awful', 'thing', 'like', 'kill', 'stood', 'besides', 'tried', 'make', 'stop', 'ended', 'bullied', 'well', 'wa', 'brother', 'school', 'fell', 'deep', 'depression', 'still', 'suffer', 'today', 'ive', 'learned', 'cope', 'didnt', 'real', 'friend', 'since', 'actually', 'spare', 'time', 'day', 'started', 'playing', 'pc', 'found', 'awesome', 'group', 'people', 'ended', 'spending', 'free', 'time', 'school', 'wa', 'hell', 'wa', 'home', 'seemed', 'go', 'away', 'fell', 'love', 'wa', 'girl', 'wa', 'playing', 'u', 'started', 'getting', 'closer', 'ended', 'talking', 'late', 'morning', 'almost', 'everyday', 'eventually', 'ball', 'te', 'tell', 'want', 'friend', 'surprise', 'felt', 'way', 'problem', 'wa', 'wa', 'living', 'like', 'km', 'mile', 'away', 'used', 'messenger', 'webcam', 'texting', 'day', 'month', 'first', 'irl', 'date', 'date', 'would', 'travel', 'distance', 'every', 'weekend', 'spend', 'time', 'together', 'ended', 'year', 'untill', 'didnt', 'want', 'travel', 'distance', 'instead', 'managed', 'convince', 'parent', 'could', 'move', 'together', 'didi', 'started', 'high', 'school', 'girlfriend', 'went', 'pretty', 'well', 'couple', 'yearsi', 'going', 'skip', 'detail', 'cause', 'turning', 'longer', 'inteded', 'long', 'story', 'shorti', 'amfalling', 'deeper', 'depression', 'dreaming', 'suicide', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'trying', 'act', 'like', 'nothing', 'going', 'start', 'party', 'use', 'lot', 'alcohol', 'drug', 'since', 'place', 'partied', 'time', 'every', 'week', 'new', 'friend', 'end', 'alcoholic', 'drug', 'addict', 'struggle', 'schooli', 'happy', 'anymore', 'anything', 'acting', 'taking', 'alot', 'start', 'thinking', 'dont', 'deserve', 'girl', 'end', 'leaving', 'refuse', 'leave', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'want', 'kill', 'anything', 'fuck', 'best', 'friend', 'would', 'stop', 'contacting', 'wanted', 'hate', 'wouldnt', 'mourn', 'would', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'end', 'moving', 'best', 'friend', 'met', 'school', 'take', 'lot', 'drug', 'hang', 'one', 'fucked', 'trip', 'lsd', 'trip', 'end', 'wanting', 'live', 'end', 'meeting', 'new', 'girlfriend', 'three', 'u', 'start', 'hang', 'date', 'like', 'year', 'end', 'finding', 'two', 'cheating', 'behind', 'back', 'wa', 'high', 'moment', 'found', 'wa', 'going', 'end', 'cutting', 'wrist', 'piss', 'survived', 'cut', 'contact', 'minimum', 'wa', 'still', 'living', 'friend', 'though', 'leave', 'couple', 'month', 'travel', 'want', 'kill', 'end', 'living', 'car', 'couple', 'month', 'find', 'awesome', 'girl', 'becomes', 'best', 'friend', 'ended', 'living', 'together', 'well', 'sex', 'acted', 'like', 'couple', 'without', 'one', 'hard', 'explainand', 'wa', 'much', 'happens', 'next', 'year', 'thread', 'story', 'someone', 'survive', 'even', 'odds', 'shit', 'hope', 'manage', 'pull', 'welli', 'saying', 'might', 'better', 'worse', 'alli', 'amsaying', 'secret', 'enjoy', 'feel', 'triumphant', 'ever', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'small', 'thing', 'turned', 'life', 'aroundedit', 'sorry', 'spelling', 'native', 'language', 'got', 'little', 'bit', 'emotional', 'writing']
468
['point', 'good', 'friend', 'job', 'drop', 'college', 'year', 'never', 'relationship', 'eitheri', 'amjust', 'always', 'looking', 'way', 'human', 'contact', 'despite', 'life', 'particularly', 'bad', 'home', 'state', 'support', 'enough', 'live', 'minimal', 'life', 'could', 'still', 'finish', 'degree', 'apply', 'job', 'least', 'train', 'skill', 'time', 'world', 'dont', 'see', 'would', 'want', 'sit', 'home', 'pointless', 'stuff', 'keep', 'somewhat', 'happy', 'sane', 'hand', 'ha', 'brought', 'another', 'problem', 'ha', 'mind', 'month', 'even', 'continue', 'living', 'point', 'anything', 'doe', 'matter', 'die', 'today', 'live', 'another', 'year', 'accomplishing', 'nothing', 'past', 'week', 'thinking', 'ending', 'void', 'feel', 'far', 'better', 'option', 'today', 'spent', 'entire', 'day', 'researching', 'different', 'suicide', 'method', 'could', 'drift', 'awaybut', 'nowi', 'amstarting', 'feel', 'somewhat', 'content', 'pointless', 'stuff', 'actually', 'preventing', 'making', 'final', 'decision', 'constant', 'desire', 'dyingi', 'amnow', 'sort', 'middle', 'ground', 'cant', 'kill', 'cant', 'live', 'either', 'want', 'way', 'feeling']
119
['complicated', 'situation', 'need', 'help', 'close', 'friend', 'mine', 'ha', 'recently', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'ha', 'told', 'another', 'friend', 'nearly', 'brought', 'committing', 'suicide', 'also', 'ha', 'collection', 'recently', 'self', 'inflicted', 'burn', 'cutsme', 'friend', 'previously', 'tried', 'help', 'via', 'positive', 'note', 'seemed', 'slightly', 'positive', 'impact', 'considering', 'going', 'talk', 'family', 'privately', 'order', 'see', 'could', 'help', 'good', 'idea']
49
['trail', 'bread', 'crumb', 'dont', 'want', 'aliveim', 'sorry', 'whatever', 'ive', 'done', 'life', 'previous', 'one', 'tried', 'hard', 'long', 'nearly', 'year', 'since', 'ive', 'friend', 'since', 'ive', 'mum', 'year', 'mental', 'agony', 'cutting', 'wrist', 'thigh', 'suicide', 'plan', 'note', 'year', 'alienated', 'family', 'friend', 'hating', 'corei', 'wanted', 'loved', 'wanted', 'cherished', 'adored', 'friend', 'family', 'lover', 'many', 'beautiful', 'thing', 'world', 'thati', 'amnever', 'going', 'able', 'experience', 'see', 'others', 'used', 'know', 'everything', 'wish', 'could', 'pain', 'inside', 'every', 'year', 'alive', 'another', 'year', 'pain', 'pointless', 'trial', 'tribulation', 'nobody', 'think', 'oh', 'oh', 'yeah', 'kind', 'remember', 'well', 'dont', 'remember', 'anymoreshe', 'blonde', 'hair', 'used', 'wear', 'red', 'lipstick', 'time', 'wa', 'artist', 'good', 'friend', 'wa', 'kind', 'cried', 'lot', 'shes', 'empty', 'shes', 'nothing', 'anymore', 'shes', 'shell', 'hold', 'echo', 'used', 'heart', 'hollow', 'mind', 'elsewhere', 'ive', 'left', 'trail', 'piece', 'heart', 'along', 'way', 'like', 'path', 'bread', 'crumb', 'following', 'disintegration', 'life', 'memory', 'hold', 'piece', 'heart', 'guess', 'didnt', 'many', 'piece', 'give', 'normal', 'people', 'happiness', 'ha', 'allocated', 'already', 'life', 'left', 'give', 'heart', 'ache', 'thought', 'smile', 'used', 'give', 'hope', 'heaven', 'play', 'back', 'handful', 'wonderful', 'memory', 'one', 'replay', 'like', 'worn', 'record', 'mind', 'feel', 'empty', 'cant', 'believei', 'still', 'ive', 'numb', 'long', 'wish', 'someone', 'care', 'tell', 'guess', 'place', 'instead', 'hi', 'tonighti', 'amthinking', 'everyone', 'left', 'earth', 'choice', 'hope', 'theyre', 'finally', 'feeling', 'better', 'wish', 'wa', 'strong', 'enough', 'stop', 'pain']
198
['often', 'find', 'wanting', 'commit', 'suicide', 'seemingly', 'trivial', 'thing', 'anyone', 'help', 'dont', 'know', 'point', 'live', 'getting', 'weaker', 'weaker', 'truly', 'dont', 'want', 'planet', 'anymore', 'thing', 'thati', 'somewhat', 'questioning', 'seems', 'always', 'something', 'minor', 'seems', 'set', 'brings', 'sort', 'thought', 'sent', 'really', 'stupid', 'message', 'guy', 'thati', 'aminterested', 'romantically', 'hasnt', 'responded', 'due', 'message', 'fucking', 'stupid', 'day', 'honestly', 'thought', 'killing', 'look', 'reason', 'everythings', 'leading', 'back', 'message', 'went', 'serious', 'depression', 'adolescence', 'ever', 'since', 'feel', 'like', 'option', 'life', 'ha', 'severely', 'limited', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'hopeless']
79
['bedbug', 'fml', 'think', 'might', 'gotten', 'evicted', 'reporting', 'bedbug', 'exterminator', 'going', 'bankrupt', 'dye', 'carpet', 'red', 'find', 'notice', 'door', 'much', 'evict', 'dad', 'whack', 'open', 'arm', 'start', 'jumpingjacks']
25
['wanting', 'boy', 'cried', 'wolf', 'thats', 'say', 'tell', 'themi', 'amhaving', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'oh', 'youve', 'saying', 'youre', 'depressed', 'five', 'year', 'ever', 'lighten', 'youre', 'actually', 'going', 'havent', 'done', 'yetand', 'theyre', 'right', 'feel', 'like', 'coward', 'liar', 'said', 'wouldnt', 'dozen', 'time', 'telling', 'wa', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'actually', 'following', 'promisespeople', 'follow', 'thing', 'know', 'dependable', 'would', 'feel', 'friend', 'said', 'wa', 'going', 'skydive', 'hundred', 'time', 'never', 'actually', 'feel', 'guilty', 'becausei', 'amunable', 'sayi', 'going']
64
['dont', 'even', 'know', 'wouldnt', 'say', 'depression', 'think', 'sad', 'long', 'time', 'believe', 'thing', 'turned', 'different', 'outlook', 'life', 'would', 'also', 'different', 'left', 'high', 'school', 'feeling', 'like', 'wa', 'top', 'world', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'part', 'family', 'would', 'stay', 'forever', 'started', 'college', 'though', 'everything', 'fell', 'apart', 'started', 'developing', 'social', 'anxiety', 'one', 'main', 'reason', 'college', 'sucked', 'wa', 'started', 'dating', 'girl', 'took', 'time', 'wa', 'clingy', 'jealous', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'would', 'never', 'let', 'go', 'ever', 'would', 'panic', 'attack', 'would', 'lead', 'stay', 'everytime', 'would', 'even', 'mention', 'breaking', 'would', 'say', 'something', 'depression', 'suicide', 'felt', 'like', 'wasnt', 'much', 'could', 'besides', 'stay', 'know', 'felt', 'trapped', 'didnt', 'know', 'month', 'would', 'happen', 'soon', 'led', 'isolated', 'people', 'dorm', 'floor', 'type', 'friend', 'time', 'wa', 'gone', 'would', 'stay', 'room', 'anxiety', 'made', 'impossible', 'courage', 'go', 'make', 'friend', 'soon', 'dropped', 'college', 'leading', 'strained', 'relationship', 'parent', 'hasnt', 'fixed', 'finally', 'got', 'courage', 'break', 'gf', 'soon', 'led', 'try', 'kill', 'wa', 'worst', 'day', 'life', 'always', 'wanted', 'make', 'people', 'happy', 'think', 'someone', 'wanted', 'kill', 'themself', 'really', 'took', 'toll', 'got', 'fucked', 'thought', 'kept', 'thinking', 'around', 'people', 'would', 'happier', 'like', 'maybe', 'wasnt', 'around', 'gf', 'would', 'tried', 'kill', 'mom', 'would', 'dissapointed', 'college', 'drop', 'son', 'every', 'single', 'time', 'messed', 'especially', 'messed', 'job', 'waiting', 'table', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'make', 'people', 'life', 'worst', 'started', 'drinking', 'lot', 'started', 'many', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'nowi', 'year', 'old', 'moved', 'new', 'college', 'trying', 'start', 'forget', 'past', 'thing', 'past', 'something', 'always', 'part', 'anxiety', 'ha', 'worsen', 'cant', 'help', 'think', 'everyone', 'hate', 'thinksi', 'ama', 'loser', 'spend', 'every', 'night', 'room', 'watching', 'youtube', 'spend', 'day', 'time', 'without', 'saying', 'wordi', 'amjust', 'unhappy', 'right', 'feel', 'like', 'one', 'care', 'anymore', 'dont', 'decided', 'write', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'make', 'sense', 'guess', 'need', 'advice', 'anyone', 'ha', 'gone', 'something', 'similar', 'want', 'life', 'go', 'back', 'normal', 'dont', 'know', 'posted', 'right', 'subreddit', 'go']
272
['alone', 'ive', 'thought', 'killing', 'many', 'time', 'pat', 'tried', 'fear', 'didnt', 'overdose', 'much', 'fatal', 'dose', 'requires', 'come', 'family', 'wherei', 'amemotionally', 'abused', 'method', 'parenting', 'known', 'ive', 'depression', 'last', 'year', 'life', 'best', 'life', 'parent', 'forced', 'boyfriend', 'situation', 'led', 'unable', 'handle', 'broke', 'know', 'interest', 'anyone', 'dad', 'ha', 'forced', 'career', 'choice', 'nothing', 'give', 'hope', 'future', 'bright', 'ive', 'wanted', 'leave', 'home', 'year', 'almost', 'harder', 'want', 'death', 'wish', 'wa', 'never', 'born', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'feel', 'alone', 'many', 'emotion', 'nothing', 'look', 'forward']
74
['shouldve', 'killed', 'self', 'six', 'year', 'ago', 'chance', 'regret']
8
['might', 'ive', 'thinking', 'nowmaybe', 'weekend', 'like', 'horrble', 'life', 'decent', 'job', 'caring', 'wife', 'feel', 'extremely', 'unhappy', 'ive', 'plagued', 'horrible', 'thought', 'losing', 'friend', 'family', 'month', 'came', 'nowhere', 'seem', 'think', 'anymore', 'childhood', 'wa', 'alright', 'aside', 'yelling', 'threat', 'dad', 'ive', 'seeing', 'therapist', 'psychologist', 'taking', 'med', 'feel', 'like', 'shouldnt', 'around', 'anymore', 'pill', 'klonopin', 'lexapro', 'big', 'bottle', 'whisky', 'maybe', 'hanging', 'taking', 'finish', 'jobi', 'amscared', 'idk', 'else']
60
['dont', 'wanna', 'die', 'wanna', 'get', 'close', 'dont', 'want', 'get', 'superpersonal', 'ive', 'abused', 'people', 'loved', 'almost', 'every', 'way', 'besides', 'sexual', 'ive', 'left', 'many', 'people', 'loved', 'dad', 'friend', 'make', 'every', 'year', 'move', 'loti', 'amafraid', 'parent', 'leave', 'come', 'closet', 'shes', 'religiousbelieves', 'choicevoices', 'dislike', 'lifestyle', 'alsodoesnt', 'believe', 'depression', 'speculate', 'havent', 'diagnosed', 'though', 'sibling', 'distant', 'care', 'friend', 'mei', 'think', 'would', 'happen', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'sometimes', 'think', 'everyone', 'would', 'act', 'dont', 'actually', 'consider', 'think', 'mom', 'would', 'actually', 'recognize', 'love', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'sibling', 'would', 'realize', 'werent', 'acknowledging', 'dad', 'would', 'hear', 'news', 'realize', 'wa', 'dick', 'everyone', 'would', 'recognize', 'need', 'love', 'give', 'much', 'toowhats', 'wrong']
95
['going', 'swall', 'bottle', 'ibuprofen', 'dawn', 'cant', 'keep', 'living', 'like', 'schoolwork', 'parent', 'constantly', 'pressuring', 'done', 'make', 'life', 'worse', 'nothing', 'live', 'meant', 'swallow', 'title', 'way']
23
['wonder', 'long', 'itll', 'take', 'end', 'miserable', 'life', 'thing', 'seem', 'getting', 'worse', 'tired']
12
['ex', 'year', 'left', 'livei', 'confused', 'dont', 'get', 'still', 'love', 'want', 'ok', 'could', 'done', 'preform', 'live', 'stage', 'tomorrow', 'everything', 'externally', 'going', 'fine', 'dont', 'get', 'going', 'wake', 'nightmare', 'start', 'thats', 'difference', 'take', 'instead', 'pleaseedit', 'found', 'lied', 'sorry', 'saved', 'breath']
37
['cant', 'go', 'along', 'anymorei', 'junior', 'year', 'high', 'school', 'year', 'age', 'never', 'good', 'student', 'school', 'something', 'called', 'slow', 'processing', 'speed', 'basically', 'mean', 'timei', 'ambehind', 'class', 'part', 'really', 'make', 'upset', 'thati', 'dumb', 'actually', 'normal', 'intelligence', 'level', 'since', 'learning', 'disability', 'fall', 'behind', 'get', 'poor', 'grade', 'average', 'exact', 'ive', 'gotten', 'special', 'help', 'get', 'bullied', 'feel', 'even', 'worse', 'constantly', 'think', 'cant', 'normal', 'use', 'full', 'potential', 'ive', 'thinking', 'lot', 'suicide', 'recently', 'year', 'sat', 'amdefinitely', 'going', 'hard', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'end', 'family', 'wont', 'watch', 'fail', 'life']
79
['girlfriend', 'showed', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'first', 'time', 'today', 'hi', 'need', 'help', 'kinda', 'fight', 'today', 'actually', 'wa', 'emotionally', 'unstable', 'threw', 'info', 'first', 'time', 'ever', 'started', 'think', 'hint', 'gave', 'felt', 'stupid', 'didnt', 'catch', 'told', 'tell', 'everything', 'feel', 'fight', 'mine', 'also', 'told', 'sometimes', 'cut', 'shower', 'ha', 'happening', 'since', 'shes', 'kid', 'reason', 'didnt', 'killed', 'yet', 'ive', 'idea', 'shes', 'smart', 'person', 'dont', 'think', 'shes', 'lying', 'anything', 'know', 'would', 'find']
63
['every', 'time', 'tell', 'someone', 'problem', 'stop', 'talking', 'friend', 'internet', 'stranger', 'freaking', 'therapist', 'gave', 'told', 'problem', 'reinforces', 'idea', 'problem', 'never', 'fixed', 'kill', 'mean', 'many', 'people', 'give', 'shouldnt', 'give']
27
['doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'get', 'worse', 'start', 'going', 'drain', 'life', 'dont', 'feel', 'control', 'cant', 'keep', 'thought', 'better', 'wa', 'dead', 'hit', 'realized', 'bad', 'weak', 'stupid', 'letting', 'get']
25
['need', 'advice', 'would', 'posted', 'first', 'think', 'also', 'suitable', 'dont', 'anyone', 'talk', 'came', 'feeling', 'really', 'depressed', 'lately', 'feel', 'like', 'hope', 'another', 'user', 'posted', 'exactly', 'going', 'reason', 'behind', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'exception', 'parent', 'somewhat', 'understanding', 'wa', 'sure', 'leaving', 'world', 'month', 'didnt', 'go', 'back', 'college', 'week', 'feel', 'tired', 'mentally', 'plus', 'wont', 'long', 'whats', 'point', 'even', 'dont', 'kill', 'going', 'school', 'feel', 'anxious', 'dont', 'ability', 'motivation', 'study', 'go', 'socialize', 'know', 'end', 'sitting', 'alone', 'talking', 'anyone', 'anxious', 'talk', 'people', 'make', 'friend', 'going', 'anxiety', 'sadness', 'come', 'going', 'school', 'another', 'year', 'wa', 'anxious', 'high', 'school', 'didnt', 'develop', 'social', 'skill', 'friend', 'hobby', 'interesting', 'nothing', 'life', 'talk', 'school', 'even', 'work', 'feel', 'quit', 'part', 'time', 'job', 'drop', 'going', 'drop', 'social', 'life', 'job']
110
['minute', 'exactly', 'pmi', 'going', 'basement', 'hang', 'suicide', 'letter', 'already', 'writtenprinted', 'process', 'clearing', 'storage', 'medium', 'havegoodnight']
15
['yepi', 'amdone', 'moment', 'father', 'ha', 'brain', 'tumor', 'mother', 'dead', 'brother', 'schizo', 'wife', 'doesnt', 'love', 'stable', 'career', 'getting', 'older', 'unhappyive', 'always', 'wanted', 'die', 'came', 'close', 'five', 'year', 'ago', 'epiphanyi', 'amjust', 'done', 'ive', 'fume', 'five', 'year', 'barely', 'livingi', 'feel', 'like', 'cross', 'hurdle', 'mentally', 'killing', 'self', 'act', 'frightening', 'sat', 'envisioned', 'gun', 'temple', 'pulled', 'trigger', 'wa', 'incredibly', 'easy', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'yea', 'done']
60
['depression', 'negative', 'thought', 'dont', 'know', 'count', 'dont', 'think', 'suicide', 'way', 'imagine', 'people', 'nearly', 'every', 'day', 'something', 'simple', 'like', 'driving', 'think', 'drove', 'tree', 'think', 'today', 'dayi', 'going', 'crash', 'die', 'today', 'safely', 'make', 'destination', 'pretty', 'much', 'daily', 'occurrence', 'often', 'think', 'family', 'react', 'hear', 'news', 'body', 'ejected', 'car', 'rolled', 'tree', 'itll', 'make', 'life', 'easier', 'harder', 'dont', 'know', 'actually', 'count', 'suicidal', 'dont', 'think', 'willpower', 'actually', 'take', 'life', 'id', 'probably', 'fail', 'killing', 'self', 'something', 'thats', 'mind', 'daily', 'felt', 'like', 'sharing']
75
['cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'every', 'minute', 'image', 'pop', 'head', 'new', 'way', 'kill', 'dont', 'consciously', 'think', 'appear', 'provide', 'warm', 'comfort', 'dammit', 'want', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'ama', 'coward', 'thoughi', 'ama', 'piece', 'shit', 'idiot', 'never', 'good', 'enoughi', 'ama', 'fat', 'ugly', 'retard', 'nobody', 'love', 'boyfriend', 'drunkenly', 'tell', 'ha', 'always', 'love', 'best', 'friend', 'ever', 'since', 'thennearly', 'year', 'ago', 'constantly', 'think', 'dont', 'measure', 'upi', 'ama', 'stupid', 'fucking', 'shit', 'compared', 'someone', 'fucking', 'perfect', 'hate', 'never', 'perfect', 'say', 'worry', 'fucking', 'worry', 'knoow', 'bc', 'yell', 'tell', 'feel', 'saysi', 'immature', 'bitch', 'ami', 'amfilled', 'selfloathing', 'borderline', 'personality', 'disorder', 'cant', 'stop', 'hate', 'fucking', 'hate', 'hate', 'thati', 'fucking', 'rachel', 'bitch', 'hate', 'thati', 'ama', 'fucking', 'crazy', 'bitch', 'hate', 'thati', 'ama', 'coward', 'cant', 'kill', 'hate', 'thati', 'goddamn', 'pathetic', 'thati', 'amlike', 'everything', 'every', 'fucking', 'thing', 'life', 'falling', 'apart', 'fault', 'justwant', 'die', 'maybe', 'death', 'good', 'enough', 'fucking', 'maybe', 'slashed', 'face', 'piece', 'id', 'look', 'better', 'sorryi', 'deep', 'cute', 'wonderful', 'chick', 'boyfriend', 'always', 'wanted', 'sorryi', 'fucking', 'crazy', 'maybe', 'wa', 'good', 'enough', 'wouldnt', 'put', 'taken', 'advantaged', 'fuck', 'right', 'thats', 'deserve', 'deserve', 'death', 'thats', 'deserve', 'know', 'make', 'seem', 'fucking', 'insane', 'dammit', 'need', 'get', 'going', 'kill', 'soon', 'anyway', 'wtf', 'doe', 'matter', 'thought', 'anymore', 'soonif', 'wasnt', 'coward', 'sorry', 'everyone']
184
['seriously', 'considering', 'killing', 'thursday', 'roommate', 'leaf', 'use', 'crossbow', 'figure', 'aim', 'heart', 'right', 'nothing', 'left', 'live', 'nothing', 'world', 'dont', 'think', 'ever', 'wa']
21
['mani', 'amfucked', 'wish', 'wa', 'deadi', 'fucked', 'took', 'online', 'screening', 'personality', 'disorder', 'result', 'came', 'follows', 'high', 'chance', 'avoidant', 'avoidant', 'personality', 'borderline', 'personality', 'ocd', 'high', 'chancei', 'amparanoid', 'schizoid', 'schizotypal', 'narcissistic', 'know', 'youre', 'thinking', 'ridiculous', 'take', 'online', 'screening', 'seriously', 'go', 'see', 'professional', 'christ', 'sake', 'fuck', 'see', 'professionali', 'scared', 'find', 'fucking', 'shit', 'thats', 'wrong', 'shiti', 'even', 'fucking', 'aware', 'feel', 'fucked', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'going', 'idk', 'keep', 'choosing', 'exist', 'instead', 'death', 'certainly', 'isnt', 'good', 'reason', 'cannot', 'accept', 'facti', 'worthy', 'hate', 'complain', 'problem', 'redditi', 'amrude', 'reject', 'try', 'message', 'saying', 'talk', 'dont', 'want', 'talk', 'make', 'special', 'right', 'arrogant', 'sayi', 'amall', 'alone', 'planet', 'god', 'please', 'kill', 'sleepi', 'ama', 'fucking', 'unpleasant', 'attention', 'whore']
104
['want', 'tell', 'someone', 'anonymously', 'ha', 'happened', 'make', 'want', 'kill', 'anyone', 'listen', 'tell', 'everythingi', 'sad', 'physically', 'hurt']
16
['tired', 'tired', 'still', 'struggling', 'weight', 'morbidly', 'obese', 'like', 'hitting', 'lb', 'mark', 'usual', 'cycle', 'feel', 'bad', 'eat', 'make', 'feel', 'worse', 'eat', 'etc', 'weight', 'ha', 'climbed', 'ive', 'used', 'push', 'people', 'away', 'bottle', 'emotion', 'wa', 'wa', 'close', 'killing', 'didnt', 'tonight', 'regret', 'year', 'wouldnt', 'happened', 'wouldnt', 'much', 'failure', 'shouldersi', 'ashamed', 'cant', 'live', 'push', 'away', 'friend', 'becausei', 'amafraid', 'see', 'damn', 'shes', 'big', 'expression', 'face', 'lost', 'job', 'last', 'year', 'ive', 'afraid', 'look', 'one', 'disgusting', 'look', 'went', 'school', 'get', 'better', 'career', 'weight', 'pose', 'serious', 'roadblock', 'mom', 'gave', 'box', 'chocolate', 'donut', 'day', 'really', 'hurt', 'wa', 'weird', 'reaction', 'guessi', 'amprobably', 'reading', 'much', 'couldnt', 'help', 'feel', 'shes', 'given', 'mei', 'amfat', 'failure', 'donut', 'dont', 'anyone', 'dump', 'internet', 'least', 'vent', 'bit', 'everyone', 'around', 'seems', 'healthy', 'relationship', 'life', 'poison', 'crap', 'every', 'night', 'hope', 'heart', 'give', 'never', 'wake', 'believe', 'lift', 'family', 'life', 'easily', 'theyll', 'sad', 'bit', 'therell', 'relief', 'anchor', 'around', 'neck', 'gone', 'one', 'thing', 'scare', 'surviving', 'attempt', 'would', 'luck', 'end', 'worse', 'ever', 'tried', 'lose', 'weight', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'like', 'drug', 'addict', 'thats', 'trying', 'resist', 'next', 'fix', 'end', 'giving', 'good', 'people', 'die', 'piece', 'shit', 'like', 'get', 'live', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'id', 'get', 'mugged', 'decision', 'would', 'taken', 'handsi', 'sick', 'dont', 'know', 'need', 'help', 'get', 'moment', 'skin', 'avoid', 'mirror', 'much', 'possible', 'sister', 'baby', 'first', 'nephew', 'envy', 'clean', 'slatei', 'twisted', 'thinking', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'addicted', 'alcohol', 'drug', 'least', 'would', 'thini', 'amashamed', 'sharing', 'thought', 'stupid', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'anyone', 'care', 'message', 'bottle', 'speaki', 'amoverwhelmed', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'dying', 'seems', 'best', 'fix', 'utter', 'failure', 'daughter', 'sister', 'friend', 'student', 'contributor', 'world']
237
['girlfriend', 'need', 'spacei', 'recentky', 'attempt', 'scared', 'girlfriend', 'left', 'said', 'didnt', 'think', 'id', 'change', 'wa', 'u', 'wa', 'problem', 'didnt', 'want', 'lose', 'ive', 'already', 'depressed', 'ive', 'rough', 'life', 'nowi', 'amcompletely', 'alone', 'want', 'back', 'dont', 'know', 'guess', 'question', 'ishow', 'change', 'saidi', 'ama', 'miserable', 'person', 'say', 'dont', 'get', 'back', 'theni', 'amgonna', 'leave', 'world', 'told', 'still', 'cared', 'dont', 'attemoted', 'week', 'ago', 'know', 'painlessi', 'scared', 'anymore']
60
['escapism', 'extremist', 'ive', 'spent', 'life', 'condition', 'acute', 'darkness', 'exacti', 'sure', 'howi', 'amalive', 'insatiable', 'understanding', 'destined', 'perish', 'wa', 'convinced', 'past', 'summer', 'would', 'see', 'end', 'life', 'september', 'obviously', 'loss', 'recognize', 'life', 'cant', 'come', 'end', 'without', 'actively', 'attempting', 'halt', 'taken', 'back', 'seat', 'role', 'existence', 'feel', 'like', 'sunken', 'beneath', 'another', 'realm', 'feel', 'control', 'reality', 'growing', 'increasingly', 'petrifying', 'time', 'go', 'oni', 'feel', 'selffulfilling', 'prophecy']
59
['problem', 'home', 'hurt', 'hi', 'name', 'scott', 'year', 'old', 'today', 'first', 'real', 'thought', 'suicide', 'live', 'pretty', 'wealthy', 'family', 'loving', 'father', 'mother', 'hand', 'bit', 'differenti', 'sure', 'whether', 'love', 'real', 'cant', 'tell', 'point', 'whenever', 'something', 'bad', 'happens', 'always', 'fault', 'get', 'say', 'matteri', 'amcalled', 'worthless', 'pile', 'shit', 'given', 'food', 'point', 'say', 'oh', 'yeah', 'feed', 'till', 'youre', 'oh', 'well', 'ha', 'threatened', 'kick', 'house', 'numerous', 'time', 'say', 'turn', 'amnever', 'live', 'house', 'support', 'never', 'ask', 'anything', 'started', 'sophomore', 'year', 'ive', 'decently', 'well', 'bombed', 'chemistry', 'test', 'mom', 'went', 'tell', 'would', 'rather', 'give', 'money', 'another', 'kid', 'want', 'try', 'know', 'love', 'school', 'want', 'iti', 'ama', 'decently', 'popular', 'kid', 'play', 'lacrossei', 'going', 'wrestle', 'good', 'amount', 'friend', 'today', 'feel', 'like', 'future', 'dont', 'see', 'going', 'anywhere', 'cant', 'envision', 'self', 'even', 'try', 'older', 'sister', 'successful', 'one', 'medical', 'school', 'working', 'deloitte', 'feel', 'like', 'expectation', 'based', 'incredibly', 'smart', 'dont', 'know', 'really', 'need', 'help']
137
['anyone', 'waiting', 'could', 'mean', 'waiting', 'see', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'waiting', 'old', 'enough', 'buy', 'gun', 'want', 'see', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel']
19
['homeless', 'dead', 'dont', 'know', 'make', 'past', 'month', 'loss', 'home', 'one', 'thing', 'loss', 'pet', 'another', 'cant', 'deal', 'contribute', 'nothing', 'nothing', 'nothingi', 'amouqt', 'option']
22
['lost', 'year', 'supposed', 'stumbled', 'across', 'ex', 'profile', 'went', 'picture', 'miss', 'year', 'ish', 'since', 'broke', 'shes', 'living', 'life', 'right', 'shes', 'kind', 'shit', 'know', 'people', 'say', 'well', 'show', 'want', 'show', 'look', 'like', 'much', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'dont', 'anythingi', 'ama', 'fat', 'neet', 'sits', 'home', 'day', 'school', 'anything', 'ive', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'year', 'dont', 'know', 'convince', 'family', 'okay', 'put', 'neet', 'shit', 'would', 'giant', 'fuck', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'friend', 'anything', 'music', 'vidya', 'even', 'degrading', 'time', 'go']
70
['experience', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'send', 'people', 'location', 'suicidal', 'call', 'multiple', 'people', 'unhelpful', 'person']
12
['feel', 'like', 'one', 'love', 'ha', 'time', 'nothing', 'offer', 'world', 'feel', 'like', 'potential', 'amuseless', 'parent', 'never', 'time', 'dont', 'real', 'friend']
19
['problem', 'traced', 'lazy', 'piece', 'shiti', 'ama', 'year', 'old', 'junior', 'year', 'high', 'school', 'academically', 'guess', 'would', 'considered', 'least', 'average', 'student', 'majority', 'class', 'advance', 'placement', 'year', 'gpa', 'well', 'sure', 'work', 'differently', 'state', 'whatever', 'reason', 'socially', 'thinki', 'ampretty', 'well', 'liked', 'friend', 'sometimes', 'even', 'hang', 'around', 'outside', 'school', 'parent', 'love', 'older', 'brother', 'adore', 'live', 'household', 'could', 'comfortable', 'considered', 'well', 'offso', 'feel', 'like', 'suicide', 'appealing', 'option', 'meschool', 'feel', 'like', 'meaningless', 'stress', 'filled', 'slog', 'point', 'although', 'early', 'yeari', 'already', 'beginning', 'struggle', 'class', 'look', 'ahead', 'life', 'look', 'murky', 'uncertain', 'barely', 'anything', 'planned', 'college', 'inkling', 'future', 'le', 'meaningless', 'stress', 'filled', 'slog', 'best', 'manage', 'distract', 'week', 'falling', 'back', 'usual', 'mindseti', 'know', 'lot', 'people', 'dealing', 'whati', 'amdealing', 'even', 'probably', 'couple', 'hundred', 'school', 'alone', 'fact', 'look', 'around', 'see', 'people', 'excelling', 'wherei', 'amfailing', 'comfortable', 'wherei', 'amstressed', 'make', 'wonder', 'wherei', 'fucking', 'inadequate', 'compared', 'rest', 'apparently', 'cant', 'deal', 'life', 'problem', 'goddamn', 'highschooler', 'ive', 'best', 'keep', 'schoolwork', 'spending', 'hour', 'every', 'day', 'diligently', 'finishing', 'homework', 'assigned', 'harvey', 'ha', 'shut', 'school', 'couple', 'week', 'find', 'procrastinating', 'shit', 'anything', 'productive', 'could', 'possibly', 'ive', 'bumped', 'hectic', 'rhythm', 'school', 'barely', 'bring', 'study', 'practice', 'anything', 'piss', 'parent', 'bug', 'latest', 'example', 'problem', 'wouldnt', 'wasnt', 'lazy', 'piece', 'shiti', 'amdreading', 'school', 'start', 'play', 'game', 'desperately', 'try', 'cover', 'inadequacy', 'could', 'avoid', 'putting', 'work', 'first', 'place', 'nowi', 'amaware', 'havent', 'said', 'anything', 'really', 'sound', 'suicide', 'worthy', 'anything', 'probably', 'sound', 'like', 'spoiled', 'teen', 'whining', 'insubstantial', 'bullshit', 'failing', 'appreciate', 'good', 'got', 'honestly', 'thats', 'probably', 'true', 'make', 'even', 'pathetic', 'like', 'feel', 'like', 'life', 'ha', 'hit', 'rock', 'bottom', 'usual', 'reason', 'one', 'might', 'consider', 'killing', 'maybei', 'amwrong', 'people', 'consider', 'killing', 'life', 'unbearable', 'guess', 'reasoning', 'could', 'considered', 'really', 'watered', 'version', 'really', 'cant', 'see', 'going', 'like', 'thisi', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'ive', 'managed', 'properly', 'convey', 'howi', 'amfeeling', 'ive', 'typed', 'sort', 'vaguely', 'depressed', 'ramble', 'reason', 'havent', 'gone', 'yet', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'family', 'much', 'pussy', 'kill', 'messy', 'painful', 'way', 'method', 'reach', 'teen', 'really', 'even', 'seriously', 'considering', 'suicide', 'selfish', 'probably', 'narrowminded', 'fuck', 'doesnt', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'ittldr', 'whiny', 'teen', 'cant', 'deal', 'high', 'school', 'could', 'probably', 'solve', 'problem', 'well', 'improve', 'life', 'general', 'hed', 'stop', 'fucking', 'lazy']
326
['want', 'commit', 'suicide', 'scared', 'iti', 'living', 'parent', 'younger', 'sisterevery', 'day', 'feel', 'worse', 'regardless', 'doas', 'hobby', 'play', 'video', 'game', 'much', 'anything', 'addiction', 'hobbyill', 'play', 'mostly', 'tf', 'retro', 'game', 'gbagcn', 'era', 'usually', 'replaying', 'game', 'like', 'zelda', 'metroid', 'marioeven', 'though', 'thing', 'maintaining', 'sanity', 'still', 'feel', 'worse', 'making', 'progress', 'something', 'productive', 'real', 'worldive', 'learning', 'piano', 'around', 'year', 'year', 'ago', 'started', 'grade', 'amat', 'grade', 'ive', 'lost', 'practice', 'make', 'improvement', 'matter', 'long', 'spend', 'revising', 'piecesim', 'unattractive', 'society', 'standard', 'underweighti', 'lack', 'form', 'intelligence', 'grade', 'waning', 'recent', 'yearswherever', 'goi', 'amtreated', 'though', 'invalidmy', 'option', 'drown', 'slit', 'throat', 'stab', 'whichi', 'afraid', 'actually', 'doi', 'cut', 'drink', 'heavily', 'behind', 'parent', 'back', 'sate', 'alcohol', 'addiction', 'amend', 'misery', 'lust', 'paini', 'despise', 'taste', 'tonic', 'come', 'across', 'small', 'cabinet', 'dining', 'room', 'yet', 'refuse', 'stopi', 'dont', 'seek', 'kind', 'helpi', 'amlong', 'past', 'thati', 'ambroken', 'anythingwith', 'past', 'failed', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'chickened', 'parent', 'come', 'across', 'done', 'nothing', 'prevent', 'eventual', 'death', 'help', 'mehow', 'surpass', 'fear', 'muster', 'enough', 'courage', 'end', 'sorry', 'lifeim', 'begging', 'hardly', 'take', 'anymore']
154
['another', 'goddamn', 'dayi', 'amat', 'wit', 'endi', 'happy', 'sad', 'anymorei', 'amexclusively', 'agitated', 'fact', 'thati', 'amalways', 'confused', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'shouldnt', 'live', 'long', 'wont', 'med', 'work', 'none', 'fucking', 'work']
28
['feel', 'alone', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'alone', 'recently', 'moved', 'hour', 'away', 'used', 'live', 'past', 'year', 'life', 'met', 'many', 'amazing', 'influential', 'people', 'broke', 'go', 'started', 'sophomore', 'year', 'high', 'school', 'without', 'everyone', 'love', 'ive', 'never', 'felt', 'upset', 'suicidal', 'feel', 'like', 'force', 'inside', 'chest', 'constantly', 'pushing', 'everyday', 'ive', 'feeling', 'worse', 'worse', 'want', 'end', 'life', 'scared', 'hurt', 'people', 'care', 'couple', 'friend', 'actually', 'care', 'live', 'far', 'away', 'see', 'weekend', 'know', 'sound', 'stupid', 'someone', 'introvert', 'barely', 'open', 'anyone', 'wa', 'big', 'deal', 'take', 'much', 'energy', 'form', 'new', 'connection', 'people', 'amdone', 'trying', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'want', 'die', 'thats', 'want', 'anymore', 'feel', 'sad', 'dont', 'want', 'see', 'therapist', 'cant', 'anything', 'dont', 'knowi', 'amjust', 'spouting', 'random', 'thing', 'point', 'sorry', 'hard', 'read', 'suck', 'writing', 'ripppp']
112
['lonely', 'fuck', 'nothing', 'offer', 'inferior', 'men', 'woman', 'alive', 'started', 'first', 'semester', 'college', 'absolutely', 'luck', 'woman', 'like', 'always', 'still', 'kissless', 'virgin', 'meeting', 'anyone', 'click', 'got', 'tinder', 'kick', 'matched', 'almost', 'nobody', 'dm', 'going', 'wellmeanwhile', 'hear', 'girl', 'get', 'match', 'easily', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'life', 'anymore', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'know', 'one', 'ever', 'love', 'even', 'feel', 'kind', 'affection', 'every', 'girl', 'likei', 'amsure', 'hotter', 'guy', 'breathing', 'necki', 'amhopelessly', 'outgunned', 'outmanned', 'every', 'aspect', 'lifei', 'amhideous', 'particularly', 'smart', 'even', 'good', 'type', 'game', 'competitionmy', 'skill', 'playing', 'saxophone', 'got', 'fucking', 'sick', 'high', 'school', 'almost', 'stopped', 'dont', 'see', 'live', 'anymore', 'fail', 'inferior', 'want', 'kill', 'scared', 'die', 'scared', 'painful']
97
['say', 'suicide', 'permanent', 'solution', 'temporary', 'problem', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'debilitating', 'even', 'medicine', 'get', 'low', 'mood', 'thing', 'think', 'killing', 'cant', 'even', 'get', 'bed', 'interferes', 'professional', 'life', 'programmer', 'need', 'able', 'concentrate', 'think', 'clearly', 'impossible', 'low', 'period', 'medicine', 'also', 'mess', 'cognitive', 'ability', 'ive', 'dealing', 'year', 'live', 'forever', 'permanent', 'problem', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'permanent', 'solution']
50
['hey', 'amuseless', 'hate', 'feel', 'sorry', 'people', 'forced', 'talk', 'want', 'end', 'fucking', 'cant', 'scaredi', 'fucking', 'scared', 'reason', 'wanted', 'live', 'get', 'better', 'ha', 'left', 'cant', 'bear', 'alli', 'amobsessed', 'feel', 'pathetic', 'hand', 'started', 'shake', 'regularly', 'dont', 'know', 'also', 'heart', 'hurt', 'sometime', 'especially', 'wheni', 'amsmoking', 'maybe', 'finally', 'reached', 'point', 'cigarette', 'finally', 'kill', 'idk', 'cant', 'live', 'like', 'thati', 'ambasically', 'dirty', 'worm', 'crawling', 'around', 'hate', 'hate', 'liar', 'every', 'single', 'piece', 'shit', 'say', 'care', 'liar', 'stop', 'lying', 'others', 'first', 'dont', 'fucking', 'care', 'know', 'deep', 'inside', 'thats', 'human', 'nature', 'know', 'care', 'helping', 'others', 'make', 'feel', 'nice', 'guy', 'wont', 'help', 'people', 'gonna', 'hurt', 'way', 'ive', 'seen', 'many', 'people', 'cared', 'nowi', 'amgetting', 'sick', 'time', 'see', 'care', 'ori', 'amhere', 'want', 'fucking', 'kill', 'people', 'said', 'lie', 'fuck', 'pretend', 'doe', 'giving', 'false', 'hope', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'swear', 'god', 'end', 'shit', 'liar', 'able', 'stop', 'want', 'go', 'keep', 'promise', 'gave', 'someone', 'love', 'leave', 'everything', 'fucking', 'shoot', 'even', 'doesnt', 'love', 'anymore', 'idci', 'liar', 'breaking', 'promise', 'cant', 'stop', 'think', 'didnt', 'try', 'find', 'another', 'girl', 'make', 'life', 'better', 'tried', 'tried', 'change', 'matter', 'memory', 'able', 'stop', 'time', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'cant', 'go', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'honestly', 'lifestory', 'joke', 'bigbig', 'joke', 'one', 'even', 'remember', 'hahi', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'hell', 'talking', 'whatever', 'feel', 'free', 'trashtalk', 'pretend', 'cheer']
196
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214
['nearly', 'hung', 'yesterday', 'random', 'hook', 'living', 'room', 'perfect', 'wanna', 'hang', 'bought', 'rope', 'week', 'back', 'looked', 'tie', 'hangman', 'noose', 'attached', 'hook', 'put', 'rope', 'around', 'neck', 'sobbed', 'like', 'baby', 'cant', 'much', 'longer', 'getting', 'worse']
32
['think', 'ive', 'decided', 'thinki', 'amgonna', 'birthdayi', 'amgonna', 'june', 'enough', 'time', 'figure', 'also', 'enough', 'time', 'pussy', 'ifi', 'amgonna', 'maybe', 'able', 'keep', 'going', 'knowingi', 'amgonna', 'later', 'maybe', 'end', 'idk', 'know', 'somethings', 'got', 'give', 'soon']
32
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140
['well', 'set', 'deadline', 'againi', 'going', 'try', 'fix', 'shit', 'semester', 'cant', 'thats', 'iti', 'amout', 'energyi', 'amout', 'money', 'amout', 'goodwill', 'people', 'miss', 'theyre', 'going', 'fucking', 'deal', 'never', 'good', 'enough', 'anyway', 'amsick', 'burden', 'parent', 'feel', 'path', 'forwardi', 'havent', 'decided', 'location', 'yet', 'id', 'like', 'far', 'away', 'parent', 'think', 'ive', 'figured', 'method', 'discus', 'accordance', 'rule']
50
['medical', 'insurance', 'checking', 'hospital', 'really', 'need', 'check', 'somewhere', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'useless', 'etc', 'etc', 'know', 'three', 'way', 'top', 'head', 'could', 'kill', 'right', 'ive', 'heard', 'horror', 'story', 'much', 'hospital', 'stay', 'cost', 'wa', 'wondering', 'doe', 'insurance', 'help', 'expensive', 'regardless', 'kaiser']
41
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152
['inching', 'towards', 'return', 'hello', 'therei', 'hope', 'everyone', 'good', 'labor', 'day', 'weekend', 'month', 'ago', 'moved', 'new', 'state', 'along', 'new', 'job', 'since', 'depression', 'ha', 'reached', 'new', 'low', 'job', 'leaf', 'full', 'stress', 'constantly', 'anxious', 'point', 'feel', 'stress', 'flow', 'throughout', 'body', 'hate', 'strong', 'enough', 'get', 'toxic', 'situation', 'weak', 'mentally', 'willed', 'individual', 'collapse', 'first', 'sign', 'challenge', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'anymore', 'every', 'day', 'fantasize', 'little', 'ending', 'everything', 'brings', 'comfort', 'scare', 'able', 'see', 'professional', 'dont', 'ability', 'take', 'time', 'work', 'get', 'help', 'feel', 'much', 'internal', 'pain', 'cant', 'believe', 'much', 'truly', 'hate']
83
['dont', 'see', 'reason', 'livei', 'sorry', 'post', 'get', 'little', 'messy', 'dont', 'feel', 'great', 'right', 'lot', 'problem', 'life', 'cant', 'avoid', 'due', 'mentally', 'physically', 'different', 'alone', 'make', 'incredibly', 'hard', 'go', 'school', 'get', 'trouble', 'time', 'cant', 'avoid', 'feel', 'much', 'physical', 'pain', 'cant', 'stuff', 'physical', 'ed', 'nobody', 'actually', 'care', 'hear', 'try', 'ignore', 'pain', 'stuff', 'like', 'problem', 'friend', 'time', 'always', 'try', 'help', 'whenever', 'problem', 'always', 'end', 'angry', 'mei', 'saying', 'anything', 'wrong', 'friend', 'fault', 'seriously', 'want', 'kill', 'friend', 'keeping', 'seems', 'care', 'wheni', 'amsuicidal', 'friend', 'dont', 'see', 'problem', 'bullying', 'bad', 'stuff', 'know', 'problem', 'could', 'solved', 'amalso', 'afraid', 'getting', 'help', 'even', 'contacted', 'someone', 'wouldnt', 'know', 'say', 'fix', 'problem', 'like', 'dont', 'want', 'fix', 'problem', 'want', 'die', 'rather', 'notexist']
108
['debating', 'ending', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'begin', 'turned', 'aug', 'th', 'wife', 'boy', 'age', 'love', 'death', 'dont', 'want', 'daddy', 'close', 'glock', 'pistol', 'amplanning', 'using', 'wife', 'ha', 'glovebox', 'car', 'let', 'knowsi', 'amfeeling', 'better', 'soi', 'amplanning', 'fake', 'feeling', 'better', 'soon', 'get', 'pistol', 'go', 'far', 'away', 'house', 'suffer', 'everyday', 'kinda', 'wanna', 'hang', 'little', 'bit', 'longer', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'medicine', 'making', 'feel', 'like', 'doc', 'upped', 'dose', 'prozac', 'mg', 'mg', 'instantly', 'feel', 'suicidal', 'past', 'day', 'feel', 'emotional', 'numbness', 'like', 'cant', 'feel', 'happy', 'really', 'sad', 'feel', 'nothing', 'head', 'feel', 'foggy', 'dont', 'feel', 'likei', 'amhere', 'thing', 'keeping', 'little', 'boy', 'face', 'everytime', 'see', 'start', 'cry', 'cause', 'think', 'leaving', 'alone', 'mom', 'wife', 'told', 'come', 'antidepressant', 'lie', 'another', 'problem', 'started', 'cause', 'feel', 'anxiety', 'panic', 'alot', 'dont', 'know', 'depression', 'cause', 'whati', 'amfeeling', 'right', 'depression', 'id', 'like', 'go', 'back', 'wa', 'taking', 'mg', 'prozac', 'week', 'felt', 'better', 'doctor', 'upped', 'dose', 'brain', 'went', 'fucking', 'haywirei', 'decreasing', 'dosage', 'alli', 'amquiting', 'shiti', 'tired']
146
['want', 'kill', 'amhere', 'apartment', 'cost', 'monthly', 'cant', 'afford', 'starve', 'daily', 'work', 'job', 'hour', 'wa', 'kicked', 'older', 'job', 'becausei', 'work', 'cafei', 'amsick', 'life', 'family', 'dad', 'friend', 'think', 'help', 'money', 'reject', 'tired', 'sick', 'life', 'amafraid', 'diei', 'amhoping', 'another', 'way', 'anyone', 'please', 'tell', 'way', 'desperately', 'asking', 'something', 'cant', 'find', 'skill', 'useless', 'live']
49
['fourth', 'day', 'university', 'everybody', 'ha', 'easily', 'found', 'atleast', 'friend', 'whereas', 'isolated', 'lonely', 'end', 'suffering', 'wish', 'could', 'kill', 'feel', 'broken', 'lost']
20
['mthfr', 'deplin', 'ha', 'started', 'wear', 'magic', 'bullet', 'broken', 'krebs', 'cycle', 'norepinephrine', 'fight', 'flight', 'neurotransmitter', 'ha', 'far', 'much', 'influence', 'present', 'others', 'amgetting', 'tunnel', 'vision', 'worst', 'sortabout', 'go', 'job', 'fair', 'tomorrow', 'collective', 'voice', 'everyone', 'room', 'agree', 'one', 'thingim', 'considering', 'suicide', 'sense', 'physical', 'death', 'solitary', 'outcome', 'alive', 'shit', 'genetics', 'reputational', 'deathif', 'nothing', 'offer', 'anyone', 'count', 'lucky', 'enterprise', 'ha', 'attempted', 'cannot', 'fail', 'loan', 'ha', 'withdrawn', 'cannot', 'owed', 'reputation', 'ha', 'born', 'cannot', 'die', 'yet', 'dwell', 'tunnel']
71
['another', 'drifter', 'know', 'point', 'message', 'telling', 'truth', 'quote', 'american', 'dream', 'house', 'spouse', 'kid', 'job', 'fish', 'consider', 'killing', 'daily', 'also', 'find', 'thread', 'talk', 'feel', 'alone', 'one', 'one', 'talk', 'carry', 'world', 'misstep', 'others', 'take', 'pain', 'wife', 'try', 'help', 'understanding', 'know', 'relay', 'broken', 'changed', 'job', 'feeling', 'worse', 'feel', 'worthless', 'professional', 'side', 'always', 'way', 'used', 'able', 'sleep', 'hour', 'two', 'time', 'used', 'able', 'turn', 'inner', 'monologue', 'feel', 'screaming', 'time', 'got', 'two', 'small', 'child', 'need', 'everything', 'reason', 'stop', 'even', 'morning', 'voice', 'doubt', 'head', 'thought', 'wife', 'explaining', 'kid', 'pulled', 'back', 'used', 'think', 'could', 'take', 'world', 'pep', 'talk', 'get', 'bed', 'pathetic', 'part', 'think', 'maybe', 'cte', 'played', 'enough', 'allow', 'possibility', 'end', 'want', 'world', 'care', 'tnot', 'keep', 'fighting', 'want', 'hurt', 'kid', 'though', 'part', 'mind', 'tell', 'probably', 'correctly', 'waiting', 'favor', 'get', 'let', 'forget', 'heal']
123
['point', 'return', 'refused', 'new', 'job', 'someone', 'replaced', 'mei', 'food', 'day', 'start', 'starvingsuicide', 'starvation', 'acceptable', 'hinduism', 'soi', 'amgonna', 'itthere', 'nothing', 'save', 'nowand', 'since', 'violent', 'method', 'one', 'send', 'hospitalmy', 'leg', 'hurt', 'really', 'bad', 'walk', 'cant', 'work', 'even', 'wanted', 'tomy', 'future', 'dead']
39
['put', 'bullet', 'head', 'put', 'bullet', 'head', 'kill', 'put', 'bullet', 'head', 'kill', 'put', 'bullet', 'head', 'kill', 'kill']
16
['right', 'pill', 'laid', 'think', 'want', 'kill', 'every', 'week', 'keep', 'pushing', 'day', 'get', 'worse', 'worse', 'parent', 'friend', 'havent', 'able', 'understand', 'tell', 'need', 'help', 'might', 'well', 'end', 'never', 'worry', 'figured', 'id', 'want', 'talk', 'someone', 'go']
33
['really', 'need', 'someone', 'give', 'positive', 'outcome', 'throwaway', 'account', 'people', 'know', 'real', 'oneim', 'done', 'started', 'college', 'course', 'tbh', 'enjoy', 'nothing', 'ive', 'started', 'college', 'friend', 'staying', 'sixth', 'form', 'feel', 'like', 'enjoy', 'course', 'thats', 'present', 'high', 'school', 'used', 'play', 'together', 'stopped', 'due', 'gcse', 'friend', 'ditched', 'since', 'wa', 'longer', 'good', 'game', 'played', 'dont', 'find', 'enjoyable', 'stopped', 'playingthere', 'wa', 'also', 'point', 'wa', 'playing', 'friend', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'one', 'friend', 'wa', 'bullying', 'one', 'would', 'help', 'tell', 'stop', 'finally', 'one', 'day', 'told', 'one', 'friend', 'actually', 'wa', 'really', 'supportive', 'talked', 'hour', 'chat', 'fix', 'even', 'told', 'subreddit', 'want', 'say', 'thanks', 'helping', 'get', 'far', 'anyway', 'went', 'another', 'game', 'played', 'rd', 'party', 'site', 'high', 'school', 'got', 'day', 'knowing', 'could', 'come', 'home', 'forget', 'shit', 'relax', 'today', 'wa', 'banned', 'without', 'even', 'breaking', 'rule', 'asked', 'guy', 'run', 'site', 'simply', 'laughed', 'shared', 'publicly', 'deleted', 'message', 'asked', 'could', 'show', 'rule', 'broke', 'college', 'football', 'manager', 'son', 'started', 'whole', 'thing', 'want', 'go', 'training', 'match', 'since', 'honestly', 'think', 'break', 'leg', 'get', 'chance', 'parent', 'easy', 'speak', 'dad', 'constantly', 'shout', 'mum', 'shall', 'say', 'brightest', 'cant', 'make', 'new', 'friend', 'college', 'always', 'somehow', 'fuck', 'socially', 'awkward', 'friend', 'played', 'rd', 'party', 'site', 'ditched', 'since', 'scared', 'getting', 'banned', 'well', 'black', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'every', 'time', 'thought', 'thought', 'wait', 'get', 'home', 'relax', 'playing', 'rd', 'party', 'site', 'fuck', 'everyone', 'non', 'old', 'friend', 'talk', 'cant', 'talk', 'parent', 'cant', 'make', 'new', 'friend', 'cannot', 'even', 'sport', 'activity', 'ive', 'year', 'without', 'getting', 'worried', 'kill', 'little', 'shitsorry', 'seemsi', 'ambeing', 'overdramatic', 'spoken', 'people', 'played', 'rd', 'party', 'site', 'say', 'game', 'maybe', 'helped', 'get', 'day', 'could', 'forget', 'everything', 'even', 'wa', 'hour', 'try', 'talk', 'know', 'haunt', 'parent', 'forever', 'whenever', 'think', 'whole', 'fing', 'life', 'outside', 'college', 'hour', 'make', 'want', 'end', 'allalso', 'thinki', 'amoverreacting', 'thats', 'opinion', 'entitled', 'way', 'get', 'something', 'positive', 'telling', 'honestly', 'feel']
275
['hospital', 'didnt', 'even', 'try', 'help', 'left', 'even', 'debt', 'ridden', 'feel', 'likei', 'amout', 'option', 'anyone', 'willing', 'talk', 'let', 'know', 'much', 'phone', 'anxiety', 'call', 'hotline']
23
['wish', 'wa', 'dead', 'never', 'born', 'since', 'remember', 'always', 'known', 'dont', 'belong', 'one', 'first', 'thing', 'clearly', 'remember', 'wa', 'father', 'hate', 'anger', 'wa', 'even', 'disgusted', 'look', 'made', 'harm', 'witness', 'evil', 'man', 'capabilitiesi', 'free', 'gaze', 'feel', 'nothing', 'yet', 'since', 'wa', 'made', 'many', 'attempt', 'one', 'first', 'thought', 'given', 'day', 'still', 'alive', 'one', 'last', 'thought', 'given', 'day', 'hope', 'dont', 'wake', 'uppeople', 'around', 'know', 'part', 'struggle', 'feel', 'see', 'wanting', 'commit', 'suicide', 'selfish', 'act', 'like', 'people', 'whats', 'selfish', 'wanting', 'someone', 'around', 'suffering', 'see', 'end', 'suffering', 'understand', 'people', 'commit', 'suicide', 'dont', 'think', 'selfish', 'want', 'pain', 'go', 'away', 'way', 'commit', 'suicide', 'whats', 'selfish', 'thati', 'believe', 'suffer', 'endure', 'witness', 'humanity', 'ive', 'seen', 'every', 'facet', 'evil', 'person', 'rarely', 'see', 'goodness', 'kindness', 'even', 'question', 'selfish', 'reasonswe', 'selfish', 'want', 'want', 'hate', 'aspect', 'myselfmy', 'first', 'attempt', 'wa', 'aged', 'yes', 'read', 'correctly', 'set', 'alight', 'bed', 'knew', 'fire', 'purged', 'wrong', 'world', 'fire', 'licked', 'skin', 'burn', 'simply', 'wa', 'extinguishedanother', 'attempt', 'wa', 'around', 'knowing', 'tie', 'knot', 'tensile', 'strength', 'rope', 'used', 'could', 'achieve', 'goal', 'ending', 'suffering', 'proper', 'tight', 'noose', 'wa', 'tied', 'kicked', 'chair', 'beam', 'supporting', 'weight', 'rope', 'snapped', 'though', 'someone', 'swung', 'sword', 'strand', 'rope', 'cleanly', 'cut', 'yet', 'witnessed', 'wa', 'impossibility', 'saw', 'year', 'previousa', 'year', 'later', 'aged', 'wa', 'walking', 'back', 'school', 'wa', 'high', 'walking', 'bridge', 'went', 'across', 'dualcarriageway', 'stopped', 'knew', 'wa', 'time', 'try', 'stood', 'railing', 'let', 'go', 'reason', 'able', 'write', 'today', 'foot', 'wa', 'caught', 'railing', 'leaving', 'hanging', 'upside', 'like', 'cartoon', 'character', 'trapped', 'another', 'managing', 'get', 'aid', 'another', 'simply', 'limped', 'home', 'somewhat', 'twisted', 'ankle', 'told', 'person', 'bully', 'tried', 'throw', 'overother', 'attempt', 'included', 'poison', 'stepping', 'front', 'vehicle', 'yes', 'bad', 'one', 'mindset', 'dont', 'care', 'never', 'would', 'attempt', 'jump', 'front', 'train', 'thats', 'right', 'someone', 'clean', 'mile', 'long', 'tracksit', 'would', 'appear', 'something', 'every', 'attempt', 'make', 'circumvented', 'somehowthere', 'lot', 'could', 'write', 'say', 'story', 'guess', 'still', 'searching', 'cure', 'suffering', 'pain', 'receipt', 'medical', 'help', 'support', 'though', 'feel', 'currently', 'new', 'information', 'dont', 'already', 'know', 'could', 'find', 'long', 'slow', 'process', 'sure', 'feel', 'always', 'empty', 'alone', 'pain']
306
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61
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220
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101
['going', 'get', 'house', 'gun', 'wonder', 'post', 'news', 'one', 'responded', 'previous', 'post', 'probably', 'long', 'fuck']
14
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34
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37
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95
['need', 'another', 'person', 'stranger', 'preferable', 'someone', 'talk', 'know', 'nothing', 'life', 'dark', 'hole', 'others', 'around', 'worse', 'wantneed', 'overcome', 'lot', 'personal', 'demon', 'help', 'around', 'want', 'close', 'everyone', 'everything', 'turn', 'high', 'ignore', 'everlasting', 'low', 'sometimes', 'think', 'itd', 'easier', 'end', 'worry', 'anyone', 'el', 'problem', 'even', 'know', 'thats', 'selfish', 'fuckim', 'probably', 'posting', 'main', 'whatever', 'shit', 'need', 'air', 'friend', 'see', 'hell', 'one', 'danger', 'see', 'knowi', 'amhere', 'need', 'knowi', 'much', 'pain', 'though', 'edit', 'hey', 'guy', 'ive', 'busy', 'past', 'day', 'reply', 'monumentally', 'helpful', 'best', 'reply', 'cant', 'tell', 'much', 'mean', 'hear', 'kind', 'word']
84
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176
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60
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171
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232
['dont', 'tired', 'tired', 'tiredi', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'anymore']
8
['tip', 'improving', 'self', 'esteem', 'reason', 'live', 'pathetic', 'went', 'severe', 'depression', 'last', 'year', 'chopped', 'hair', 'time', 'found', 'podcast', 'cloverfeels', 'time', 'wa', 'reason', 'kept', 'moving', 'forwardtheres', 'thing', 'motivate', 'wake', 'including', 'baking', 'edm', 'food', 'podcasts', 'running', 'watching', 'sport', 'youtube', 'like', 'bos', 'job', 'teami', 'amgetting', 'tired', 'underemployed', 'best', 'friend', 'boyfriend', 'anymore', 'get', 'job', 'interview', 'mental', 'willness', 'probably', 'come', 'interview', 'resting', 'bitch', 'face', 'doe', 'anyone', 'tip', 'improving', 'self', 'esteem', 'tried', 'therapy', 'medication', 'didnt', 'help', 'doe', 'anyone', 'pathetic', 'reason', 'live']
74
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184
['inferior', 'human', 'inferior', 'human', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'want', 'one', 'beautiful', 'intelligent', 'people']
13
['would', 'found', 'edge', 'whole', 'bunch', 'time', 'year', 'felt', 'beaten', 'battered', 'bruised', 'beyond', 'repair', 'countless', 'evening', 'spent', 'cry', 'bathroom', 'floor', 'attest', 'thative', 'wanted', 'end', 'ive', 'wanted', 'get', 'feeling', 'way', 'ive', 'wanted', 'kill', 'wouldve', 'thoughti', 'thought', 'suicide', 'thought', 'absolutely', 'worthless', 'wa', 'feeling', 'useless', 'society', 'really', 'world', 'would', 'better', 'place', 'left', 'thought', 'people', 'werent', 'useless', 'people', 'actually', 'highly', 'functioning', 'individual', 'couldve', 'made', 'difference', 'society', 'probably', 'didnt', 'want', 'die', 'people', 'couldve', 'long', 'succesful', 'life', 'denied', 'opportunity', 'somehow', 'feel', 'unfair', 'died', 'still', 'alive', 'wish', 'could', 'die', 'could', 'bring', 'one', 'people', 'back', 'life', 'know', 'cant', 'reason', 'ha', 'kept', 'actually', 'taking', 'life', 'dont', 'know']
97
['dont', 'anything', 'live', 'anymore', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'good', 'part', 'almost', 'ten', 'year', 'always', 'try', 'push', 'mind', 'little', 'sister', 'look', 'would', 'devastated', 'family', 'sake', 'id', 'like', 'share', 'story', 'time', 'time', 'ive', 'told', 'everything', 'fault', 'know', 'feel', 'like', 'cousin', 'raped', 'wa', 'stole', 'innocence', 'stole', 'goodness', 'warmth', 'wa', 'heart', 'black', 'hole', 'explodes', 'every', 'family', 'split', 'three', 'side', 'side', 'blamed', 'side', 'wa', 'neutral', 'didnt', 'care', 'side', 'blamed', 'wa', 'parent', 'alone', 'happened', 'tried', 'kill', 'regularly', 'month', 'taking', 'pill', 'wake', 'pool', 'vomit', 'feces', 'sleeping', 'day', 'spent', 'quite', 'bit', 'time', 'psych', 'ward', 'minor', 'found', 'drug', 'stopped', 'going', 'school', 'never', 'graduated', 'dabbled', 'college', 'little', 'nothing', 'notable', 'drug', 'instead', 'every', 'psychedelic', 'could', 'find', 'try', 'alter', 'mind', 'make', 'think', 'death', 'taking', 'life', 'also', 'found', 'sex', 'day', 'problem', 'sex', 'drug', 'constant', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'ive', 'planned', 'suicide', 'many', 'way', 'many', 'time', 'box', 'full', 'suicide', 'note', 'fuck', 'random', 'people', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'anymore', 'boyfriend', 'wa', 'really', 'good', 'still', 'fuck', 'thing', 'random', 'one', 'night', 'hook', 'ups', 'isnt', 'something', 'people', 'understand', 'sex', 'coping', 'mechanism', 'much', 'like', 'drug', 'alcohol', 'know', 'something', 'shouldnt', 'forgiven', 'dont', 'know', 'keep', 'ive', 'done', 'literally', 'every', 'single', 'relationship', 'ive', 'dont', 'know', 'stop', 'god', 'want', 'stop', 'badly', 'word', 'cant', 'describe', 'thought', 'wa', 'man', 'wanted', 'marry', 'cheated', 'three', 'time', 'still', 'expect', 'take', 'back', 'love', 'delusional', 'mentioni', 'amobviously', 'ridiculously', 'mentally', 'unstable', 'ama', 'ticking', 'time', 'bomb', 'constantly', 'life', 'fucking', 'mess', 'ha', 'consistently', 'mess', 'last', 'year', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'every', 'spare', 'moment', 'spent', 'cry', 'thinking', 'painless', 'way', 'commit', 'suicide', 'way', 'would', 'least', 'traumatic', 'person', 'find', 'fuck', 'even', 'anymore']
239
['another', 'suicidal', 'person', 'hello', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'ammaking', 'thisi', 'trying', 'edgy', 'anything', 'wanting', 'explain', 'feel', 'maybe', 'might', 'get', 'iti', 'amsuffering', 'dont', 'remember', 'last', 'time', 'wa', 'actually', 'okay', 'lately', 'every', 'thing', 'feel', 'like', 'effort', 'everyone', 'say', 'good', 'good', 'see', 'another', 'person', 'go', 'agenda', 'living', 'social', 'life', 'lie', 'lie', 'fuck', 'bullshit', 'everyday', 'misery', 'one', 'notice', 'pain', 'notice', 'ive', 'true', 'get', 'fucking', 'life', 'living', 'dont', 'feel', 'likei', 'amliving', 'reasoni', 'dead', 'already', 'one', 'girl', 'k', 'mile', 'awayim', 'piece', 'shit', 'white', 'privileged', 'piece', 'shit', 'least', 'job', 'paper', 'god', 'feel', 'useless', 'dont', 'want', 'get', 'everyday', 'dont', 'want', 'breath', 'sometimes', 'try', 'seeing', 'stop', 'breathing', 'shut', 'part', 'brain', 'make', 'remember', 'breath', 'fall', 'die', 'shed', 'pain', 'god', 'know', 'pain', 'go', 'away', 'whilei', 'amalivelast', 'week', 'got', 'diagnosed', 'severe', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'fuck', 'dont', 'want', 'dont', 'want', 'see', 'people', 'looking', 'different', 'go', 'death', 'hope', 'people', 'could', 'move', 'move', 'apparentlyi', 'amjust', 'seeking', 'attention', 'cry', 'help', 'fuck', 'dont', 'want', 'helpi', 'cry', 'attentioni', 'amonly', 'dont', 'want', 'fiance', 'die', 'went', 'therapy', 'last', 'week', 'get', 'diagnosed', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'worried', 'laid', 'train', 'track', 'want', 'leave', 'alone', 'wrong', 'dont', 'know', 'literally', 'every', 'thing', 'dont', 'motivation', 'anymore', 'anything', 'else', 'please', 'everyone', 'else', 'great', 'happy', 'citizen', 'part', 'societyi', 'amisolated', 'even', 'therapy', 'keep', 'getting', 'worse', 'angrier', 'sadderi', 'amjust', 'trying', 'hold', 'thisi', 'amscared', 'problem', 'making', 'girl', 'problem', 'worse']
207
['amkilling', 'tomorrowi', 'amsick', 'stressed', 'timei', 'amsick', 'lonely', 'amsick', 'heading', 'nowhereim', 'stuck', 'literally', 'useless', 'degree', 'creative', 'writing', 'thingi', 'amgood', 'even', 'though', 'hate', 'everything', 'ive', 'lost', 'almost', 'friend', 'desire', 'make', 'new', 'one', 'zero', 'desire', 'continue', 'dealing', 'bullshiti', 'amsick', 'collegei', 'amsick', 'lifei', 'amsick', 'meei', 'amgonna', 'sleep', 'thanks', 'support', 'helpful', 'comment', 'also', 'shoutout', 'tryhard', 'moron', 'egging', 'made', 'laugh', 'first', 'time', 'long', 'time', 'thanks', 'thate', 'figured', 'let', 'everyone', 'know', 'thati', 'amokay', 'still', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'still', 'alive']
72
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33
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395
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39
['alien', 'life', 'cry', 'often', 'husband', 'died', 'almost', 'three', 'year', 'ago', 'dog', 'year', 'shortly', 'himi', 'relationship', 'man', 'love', 'much', 'cant', 'stop', 'telling', 'much', 'better', 'hed', 'without', 'mei', 'medication', 'bring', 'psych', 'howi', 'amthinking', 'suicide', 'struggling', 'fertility', 'known', 'reason', 'dog', 'asshole', 'even', 'though', 'love', 'family', 'doesnt', 'care', 'usually', 'waste', 'day', 'away', 'go', 'sleep', 'againi', 'friend', 'one', 'live', 'far', 'away', 'cant', 'lose', 'weight', 'think', 'way', 'could', 'kill', 'many', 'people', 'would', 'even', 'fucking', 'carei', 'want', 'even', 'check', 'hospital', 'dont', 'want', 'ever', 'effect', 'future', 'like', 'job', 'adoptioni', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'relate', 'anyonei', 'ama', 'young', 'widow', 'diagnosed', 'multiple', 'disorder', 'old', 'young', 'crowd', 'childless', 'fit', 'mom', 'even', 'reddit', 'post', 'account', 'venting', 'infertility', 'got', 'judgedplease', 'tell', 'shouldnt', 'end']
109
['step', 'get', 'help', 'called', 'national', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'twice', 'people', 'side', 'nice', 'wanted', 'helpful', 'none', 'gave', 'clear', 'specific', 'answer', 'step', 'seek', 'professional', 'help', 'well', 'maybe', 'maybei', 'amjust', 'dumb', 'shit', 'didnt', 'understand', 'problem', 'currently', 'dont', 'personal', 'doctor', 'go', 'dont', 'know', 'alternative', 'guess', 'asking', 'step', 'getting', 'help', 'also', 'please', 'dont', 'tell', 'open', 'friend', 'family', 'member', 'top', 'everything', 'want', 'also', 'babysit', 'nowi', 'fromin', 'u', 'step', 'going', 'bit', 'different', 'point', 'advice', 'would', 'greatly', 'appreciated']
69
['come', 'point', 'life', 'ive', 'realized', 'deep', 'mental', 'issue', 'dont', 'know', 'live', 'anymore']
12
['feel', 'way', 'big', 'meme', 'account', 'instagram', 'miserable', 'thinking', 'getting', 'really', 'drunk', 'going', 'house', 'telling', 'depending', 'happens', 'killing', 'guess', 'shall', 'see', 'go']
21
['friend', 'told', 'ha', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'dont', 'know', 'help', 'need', 'advice', 'help']
11
['last', 'week', 'helloi', 'amthinking', 'long', 'time', 'trying', 'trying', 'make', 'life', 'better', 'decided', 'enough', 'struggled', 'depression', 'yearsi', 'quit', 'university', 'ibs', 'made', 'force', 'quit', 'exam', 'cant', 'find', 'job', 'gf', 'left', 'year', 'togheter', 'dont', 'friend', 'tried', 'theraphy', 'feel', 'stuck', 'tried', 'force', 'self', 'go', 'gym', 'going', 'since', 'month', 'mostly', 'pain', 'ibs', 'tried', 'go', 'louds', 'club', 'people', 'age', 'gather', 'cant', 'manage', 'make', 'friend', 'kind', 'event', 'loud', 'much', 'drunk', 'people', 'online', 'datingmeetupcom', 'waste', 'land', 'sent', 'curriculum', 'got', 'reply', 'interview', 'didnt', 'get', 'job', 'cry', 'sleep', 'everynight', 'cant', 'anymore', 'almost', 'done', 'birthday', 'month', 'ago', 'got', 'much', 'scared', 'feel', 'world', 'scared', 'die', 'anymore', 'maybe', 'right', 'thing', 'feel', 'thing', 'go', 'away']
101
['sincerely', 'feel', 'successfully', 'committed', 'suicide', 'seriously', 'one', 'night', 'decided', 'wa', 'time', 'die', 'ive', 'never', 'fit', 'anywhere', 'ive', 'always', 'ghost', 'never', 'friend', 'exaggerating', 'throughout', 'middle', 'school', 'high', 'school', 'kept', 'always', 'wa', 'outcast', 'reason', 'unbeknownst', 'one', 'night', 'grew', 'tired', 'decided', 'end', 'life']
40
['wife', 'separated', 'ago', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'tonight', 'tell', 'parent', 'posting', 'mobile', 'hospitalwife', 'tried', 'kill', 'tonight', 'texted', 'act', 'weve', 'separated', 'month', 'ha', 'history', 'mental', 'willness', 'parent', 'loving', 'supportive', 'tell', 'themi', 'amworried', 'tell', 'shell', 'get', 'upset', 'wont', 'tell', 'attempt', 'suicide', 'dont', 'want', 'lifeline', 'though']
41
['amkilling', 'get', 'back', 'town', 'ive', 'thinking', 'traveled', 'florida', 'utah', 'cause', 'wanted', 'see', 'family', 'one', 'last', 'timei', 'going', 'steal', 'sister', 'ativan', 'score', 'pain', 'killer', 'alcohol', 'iti', 'nothingi', 'ama', 'ghost', 'former', 'shell', 'used', 'actress', 'fat', 'ugly', 'part', 'cause', 'family', 'inconvenience', 'pain', 'work', 'disney', 'exhausted', 'turn', 'fake', 'smile', 'everyday', 'note', 'ready', 'everythingi', 'amjust', 'sad', 'say', 'goodbye', 'family', 'especially', 'mom', 'used', 'make', 'proudi', 'scared', 'suicide', 'hurting', 'hurt', 'much', 'keep', 'goingi', 'feel', 'likei', 'cant', 'stop', 'drinking', 'eat', 'like', 'shit', 'cant', 'stop', 'smoking', 'pot', 'med', 'dont', 'shit', 'nobody', 'want', 'around', 'needed', 'people', 'say', 'goodbye']
88
['ruined', 'everything', 'got', 'really', 'depressed', 'fell', 'pregnant', 'actually', 'felt', 'real', 'hope', 'motivation', 'future', 'abortion', 'becausei', 'depressed', 'good', 'mum', 'got', 'even', 'depressed', 'tried', 'shift', 'changed', 'short', 'dont', 'see', 'many', 'pregnant', 'woman', 'wa', 'told', 'head', 'manager', 'excuse', 'wasnt', 'good', 'enough', 'fired', 'job', 'partner', 'cant', 'afford', 'pay', 'fine', 'debt', 'phone', 'bank', 'account', 'license', 'suspended', 'credit', 'card', 'took', 'well', 'overdrawn', 'bank', 'harassing', 'u', 'fault', 'needed', 'wa', 'save', 'thousand', 'dollar', 'little', 'starter', 'home', 'wa', 'goal', 'wa', 'working', 'fulltime', 'wa', 'studying', 'law', 'stop', 'due', 'stress', 'wa', 'causing', 'hour', 'cut', 'half', 'ultimately', 'wa', 'taken', 'roster', 'altogetheri', 'still', 'employee', 'havent', 'given', 'hour', 'month', 'ive', 'begged', 'told', 'whats', 'happening', 'ignoredhung', 'union', 'told', 'grow', 'solve', 'problem', 'havent', 'even', 'interview', 'whole', 'time', 'ive', 'applying', 'job', 'dont', 'qualify', 'disability', 'payment', 'becausei', 'young', 'parent', 'cant', 'help', 'u', 'theyre', 'struggling', 'wanted', 'family', 'go', 'holiday', 'grow', 'old', 'together', 'wear', 'matching', 'hawaiian', 'shirtdress', 'retired', 'ruined', 'everything', 'becausei', 'ama', 'depressed', 'lump', 'shit', 'cant', 'function', 'anymorethe', 'money', 'superannuation', 'cant', 'access', 'becausei', 'young', 'despite', 'financial', 'situation', 'partner', 'mum', 'beneficiary', 'need', 'brave', 'enough', 'get', 'long', 'minute', 'pain', 'discomfort', 'way', 'least', 'one', 'u', 'get', 'back', 'foot']
175
['give', 'reason', 'thing', 'weird', 'past', 'year', 'hesitate', 'say', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'thinki', 'amstrong', 'enough', 'keep', 'fighting', 'cant', 'find', 'inner', 'worth', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'world', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'honest', 'reason', 'commit', 'suicide']
31
['doi', 'amusually', 'helping', 'people', 'today', 'need', 'help', 'struggling', 'depression', 'two', 'year', 'antidepressant', 'stopped', 'working', 'hit', 'new', 'low', 'today', 'wanted', 'wa', 'jump', 'building', 'hate', 'thought', 'dont', 'wanna', 'hurt', 'people', 'love', 'dont', 'want', 'counselling', 'tried', 'made', 'worse', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'med', 'becausei', 'amscared', 'might', 'feel']
43
['feel', 'like', 'dying', 'old', 'man', 'young', 'man', 'body', 'yearold', 'student', 'study', 'parttime', 'work', 'parttime', 'best', 'friend', 'several', 'friend', 'lovely', 'family', 'happy', 'rightthat', 'said', 'happy', 'wonderful', 'thing', 'lucky', 'life', 'allsome', 'day', 'feel', 'sad', 'worried', 'going', 'screw', 'ruin', 'everything', 'everyone', 'care', 'think', 'say', 'doother', 'day', 'feel', 'peace', 'feel', 'fact', 'died', 'thinking', 'ahead', 'everyone', 'else', 'longer', 'around', 'ghost', 'walking', 'around', 'town', 'aimlessly', 'thinking', 'much', 'easier', 'would', 'existpeople', 'say', 'live', 'love', 'care', 'follow', 'passionwhat', 'gradually', 'losing', 'interest', 'everything', 'like', 'living', 'one', 'love', 'cannot', 'think', 'reason', 'live', 'yourselfi', 'lostnote', 'suicidal', 'definitely', 'indifferent', 'idea', 'death', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'daily', 'make', 'sense']
94
['suicidal', 'obsession', 'idk', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'year', 'enough', 'get', 'better', 'medication', 'combination', 'anti', 'depressant', 'anxiolytic', 'anxiety', 'paranoia', 'antipsychotic', 'becausei', 'ambipolar', 'always', 'said', 'rather', 'pill', 'bottle', 'front', 'frontal', 'lobotomy', 'thinki', 'amwrong', 'little', 'holemaybe', 'mm', 'wide', 'thought', 'posting', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'worth', 'ive', 'pushed', 'friend', 'family', 'away', 'increasingly', 'stupid', 'impulsive', 'decision', 'making', 'really', 'fault', 'way', 'feeli', 'amhonestly', 'way', 'fucking', 'deep', 'family', 'see', 'shell', 'really', 'right', 'depression', 'get', 'bad', 'dont', 'know', 'talk', 'people', 'participate', 'active', 'society', 'anymore', 'havent', 'pursued', 'job', 'past', 'two', 'year', 'ive', 'mentally', 'unstable', 'progressively', 'getting', 'worse', 'want', 'sleep', 'wake', 'ive', 'planning', 'kill', 'everyday', 'past', 'month', 'fuck', 'nothing', 'ever', 'make', 'better', 'doe', 'hopefully']
101
['suicidal', 'obsession', 'doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'obsessive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'even', 'arent', 'depressed', 'oh', 'ive', 'plenty', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'depressed', 'know', 'lovely', 'fantasy', 'escape', 'death', 'well', 'differentmy', 'obsessive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'part', 'pureo', 'ocd', 'sometimesi', 'even', 'depressed', 'like', 'another', 'person', 'living', 'head', 'screaming', 'kill', 'cant', 'stick', 'tell', 'dont', 'want', 'toi', 'hearing', 'voice', 'internal', 'dialogue', 'overwhelming', 'continuous', 'extremely', 'distressing', 'get', 'graphic', 'visuals', 'killing', 'clarify', 'happens', 'wheni', 'depressed', 'ideation', 'impossible', 'live', 'time', 'dont', 'even', 'hate', 'like', 'wheni', 'amdepressed', 'likei', 'trying', 'go', 'life', 'girl', 'inside', 'head', 'screaming', 'kill', 'cannot', 'quieted', 'thats', 'start', 'thinking', 'needing', 'something', 'like', 'drug', 'suicide', 'get', 'away', 'obsessive', 'thought', 'dont', 'really', 'question', 'putting', 'guess', 'sleepless', 'obsessive', 'night', 'tldr', 'suicidal', 'obsessive', 'thought', 'arent', 'ideation', 'haunt']
110
['please', 'participate', 'research', 'study', 'geared', 'toward', 'understanding', 'suicidal', 'thoughtsbehaviors', 'u', 'posting', 'ha', 'approved', 'moderator', 'hi', 'name', 'megan', 'rogers', 'graduate', 'student', 'department', 'psychology', 'florida', 'state', 'university', 'working', 'dr', 'thomas', 'joiner', 'dr', 'joiner', 'conducting', 'research', 'study', 'examines', 'risk', 'factor', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'behavior', 'hope', 'understanding', 'shortterm', 'suicide', 'risk', 'work', 'toward', 'developing', 'effective', 'treatment', 'ultimately', 'lower', 'prevalence', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'behaviorsif', 'age', 'fluent', 'english', 'live', 'united', 'state', 'currently', 'experiencing', 'thought', 'suicide', 'may', 'eligible', 'participate', 'studyif', 'decide', 'participate', 'fill', 'series', 'questionnaire', 'online', 'several', 'time', 'next', 'week', 'first', 'set', 'questionnaire', 'take', 'approximately', 'minute', 'complete', 'compensated', 'amazon', 'gift', 'card', 'note', 'also', 'need', 'complete', 'brief', 'minute', 'phone', 'interview', 'time', 'portion', 'mandated', 'institutional', 'review', 'board', 'store', 'phone', 'number', 'call', 'take', 'every', 'step', 'possible', 'ensure', 'confidentiality', 'followup', 'set', 'questionnaire', 'take', 'minute', 'complete', 'compensated', 'gift', 'card', 'followup', 'survey', 'total', 'total', 'complete', 'five', 'followup', 'survey', 'within', 'hour', 'receiving', 'receive', 'bonus', 'gift', 'card', 'overall', 'may', 'earn', 'participating', 'studyremember', 'completely', 'voluntary', 'choose', 'study', 'email', 'u', 'message', 'u', 'post', 'question', 'concern', 'studyi', 'amhappy', 'discus', 'anything', 'come', 'would', 'like', 'participate', 'please', 'click', 'link', 'see', 'eligiblethank', 'much', 'consideration', 'hope', 'hear', 'soonbest', 'regardsmegan', 'rogers', 'msflorida', 'state', 'university']
178
['forget', 'dont', 'know', 'ever', 'forget', 'fact', 'left', 'dont', 'know', 'ever', 'forget', 'fact', 'told', 'dont', 'want', 'dont', 'invite', 'wa', 'last', 'set', 'word', 'heard', 'speak', 'invite', 'something', 'two', 'year', 'ago', 'much', 'later', 'didnt', 'go', 'couldnt', 'would', 'still', 'fool', 'would', 'anything', 'different', 'always', 'think', 'going', 'different', 'isnt', 'never', 'told', 'together', 'future', 'right', 'wa', 'said', 'year', 'ago', 'many', 'night', 'ruthless', 'sex', 'agony', 'lasted', 'longer', 'whole', 'time', 'said', 'didnt', 'want', 'le', 'year', 'later', 'still', 'fucking', 'fool', 'dreaming', 'prescribed', 'medication', 'still', 'dreaming', 'supposed', 'change', 'mind', 'fucking', 'long', 'waiting', 'ever', 'going', 'try', 'talk', 'plain', 'conversation', 'tell', 'much', 'pain', 'tell', 'feel', 'way', 'feel', 'year', 'tossed', 'aside', 'like', 'sack', 'old', 'clothes']
102
['wa', 'going', 'kill', 'june', 'thi', 'sorry', 'long', 'dont', 'read', 'iti', 'chose', 'date', 'wa', 'week', 'one', 'day', 'graduated', 'high', 'school', 'clearly', 'anyone', 'would', 'missed', 'died', 'would', 'contacted', 'point', 'week', 'day', 'rolled', 'around', 'told', 'anyone', 'besides', 'family', 'live', 'try', 'communicate', 'personally', 'ie', 'group', 'chat', 'would', 'call', 'friend', 'texted', 'point', 'afternoon', 'asking', 'color', 'dye', 'would', 'show', 'hair', 'dont', 'know', 'asked', 'never', 'dyed', 'anyone', 'el', 'hair', 'wa', 'quick', 'interaction', 'made', 'realize', 'must', 'important', 'enough', 'herbut', 'ever', 'since', 'ive', 'felt', 'likei', 'limbo', 'real', 'goal', 'date', 'wa', 'head', 'month', 'beforehand', 'dont', 'real', 'end', 'goal', 'life', 'master', 'program', 'would', 'like', 'get', 'thats', 'year', 'future', 'doubt', 'get', 'accept', 'student', 'per', 'year', 'since', 'day', 'started', 'going', 'college', 'yet', 'make', 'real', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'everyone', 'ha', 'nice', 'far', 'feel', 'sorry', 'honestly', 'feel', 'like', 'try', 'soon', 'make', 'try', 'le', 'school', 'know', 'back', 'head', 'wont', 'matter', 'wheni', 'amgonei', 'dont', 'know', 'information', 'feel', 'though', 'posting', 'might', 'help', 'way', 'relieve', 'inner', 'stresstldr', 'wa', 'going', 'kill', 'past', 'june', 'didnt', 'feel', 'likei', 'sort', 'limbo']
158
['odd', 'feeling', 'doesnt', 'feel', 'activemore', 'like', 'want', 'cut', 'hole', 'chest', 'giant', 'apple', 'core', 'remover', 'push', 'chest', 'take', 'piece', 'inside', 'id', 'bleed', 'id', 'enjoy', 'itits', 'one', 'passive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'want', 'go', 'know', 'thats', 'whati', 'ammeant', 'die', 'fromi', 'ammore', 'likely', 'die', 'falling', 'stair', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'failed', 'many', 'time', 'thing', 'managed', 'mess', 'breathing', 'always', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'know', 'would', 'though', 'ive', 'tried', 'many', 'different', 'thing', 'gun', 'accessive', 'thought', 'stealing', 'housemate', 'blade', 'hanging', 'ceiling', 'fan', 'would', 'still', 'affect', 'reminds', 'mental', 'thing', 'somehow', 'male', 'reaction', 'get', 'fuel', 'emotional', 'mental', 'souland', 'reminds', 'hate', 'breathing', 'maybe', 'actually', 'active', 'feel', 'like', 'strength', 'id', 'break', 'neck', 'location', 'ability', 'id', 'harm', 'feel', 'like', 'itd', 'one', 'moment', 'id', 'enjoy', 'feeling', 'neck', 'break', 'matter', 'painful', 'sometimes', 'get', 'like', 'someday', 'part', 'might', 'come', 'made', 'cut', 'hand', 'open', 'bother', 'frequently', 'slicing', 'neck', 'like', 'worse', 'monster', 'normal', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'suck', 'long', 'since', 'ive', 'experienced', 'day', 'dont', 'think', 'suicide', 'wonder', 'ive', 'attempted', 'much']
147
['faking', 'everything', 'fake', 'smiling', 'fake', 'enjoying', 'work', 'fake', 'love', 'study', 'shit', 'fake', 'fake', 'fake', 'fake', 'fake', 'fake', 'fake', 'effort', 'effort', 'effort', 'work', 'work', 'work', 'work', 'work', 'workhahhahai', 'wish', 'coukd', 'fucking', 'carefree', 'lucky', 'bastardsi', 'feel', 'like', 'smashing', 'fucking', 'laptop', 'wall', 'screaming', 'doe', 'eveyrything', 'need', 'tkae', 'effortwhy', 'agreeing', 'thiswhy', 'cant', 'die', 'easily', 'done', 'jazz']
52
['worth', 'trying', 'save', 'life', 'really', 'notall', 'people', 'tell', 'better', 'deserve', 'obviously', 'dont', 'know', 'shit', 'bout', 'life', 'crap', 'ive', 'decided', 'deal']
20
['nobody', 'online', 'irl', 'fucking', 'listens', 'youre', 'saying', 'think', 'theyve', 'fucking', 'listened', 'havent', 'theyve', 'read', 'couple', 'word', 'twisted', 'suit', 'call', 'fucking', 'idiot', 'stroke', 'egosim', 'done', 'reddit', 'done', 'people', 'know', 'fucking', 'done', 'life', 'hate', 'everyone', 'everything', 'people', 'dont', 'fucking', 'read', 'properly', 'listen', 'take', 'want', 'fucling', 'hear']
44
['amthinking', 'killing', 'tonight', 'would', 'easy', 'ir', 'feel', 'selfish', 'anyone', 'talk', 'eh']
11
['tiredi', 'amjaded', 'feel', 'likei', 'tired', 'live', 'rest', 'life', 'much', 'little', 'energy', 'dont', 'feel', 'excited', 'towards', 'dont', 'think', 'id', 'missing', 'much']
20
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472
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6
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231
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103
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26
['poem', 'pm', 'someone', 'two', 'poem', 'ive', 'started', 'writing', 'give', 'feedback', 'poetry', 'helping', 'cope', 'mental', 'willness', 'suicidal', 'thought']
17
['doe', 'one', 'understand', 'life', 'suffering', 'suicide', 'right', 'thing', 'doi', 'amjust', 'saying', 'right', 'die', 'need', 'mind', 'time']
16
['scared', 'noone', 'listens', 'opened', 'noone', 'give', 'damn', 'ive', 'tried', 'ive', 'tried', 'cant', 'anymorei', 'scared', 'tired', 'everything', 'nurse', 'promised', 'call', 'never', 'thing', 'cant', 'escape', 'dont', 'care', 'happens', 'life', 'anymore', 'dont', 'care', 'progressing', 'ive', 'cared', 'much', 'others', 'think', 'ive', 'lied', 'ive', 'fooled', 'people', 'noone', 'gave', 'fuck', 'people', 'say', 'care', 'shit', 'get', 'real', 'leave', 'thats', 'always', 'isi', 'ama', 'joke', 'fucking', 'life', 'tooi', 'amlosti', 'amdonei', 'tired']
62
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99
['last', 'min', 'min', 'till', 'train', 'arrives', 'ama']
7
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126
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126
['considering', 'killing', 'depression', 'keep', 'strangling', 'always', 'struggled', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'since', 'wa', 'little', 'kid', 'ive', 'way', 'winter', 'abusive', 'girlfriend', 'left', 'still', 'cant', 'get', 'completely', 'weekenid', 'wa', 'best', 'long', 'time', 'issue', 'met', 'girl', 'felt', 'attracted', 'shes', 'young', 'tho', 'late', 'feel', 'shame', 'nothing', 'happened', 'u', 'barely', 'spoke', 'company', 'weekend', 'great', 'time', 'weekend', 'old', 'shit', 'week', 'week', 'continues', 'like', 'postgreatweekenddepression', 'top', 'regular', 'depression', 'somewhat', 'hande', 'day', 'hate', 'cant', 'fun', 'without', 'going', 'deeper', 'depression', 'afterwards', 'dont', 'know', 'happens', 'yeah', 'feeling', 'attraction', 'year', 'old', 'girl', 'shit', 'aswell']
81
['weird', 'helping', 'people', 'help', 'get', 'sort', 'high', 'rush', 'helping', 'people', 'know', 'sound', 'really', 'corny', 'time', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'want', 'help', 'everybody', 'cant', 'save', 'everyone']
24
['life', 'mess', 'point', 'see', 'way', 'suicide', 'basically', 'life', 'shit', 'ive', 'much', 'pain', 'last', 'year', 'ive', 'massive', 'depression', 'wa', 'leading', 'bad', 'childhood', 'mother', 'died', 'wa', 'live', 'non', 'loving', 'dad', 'year', 'wa', 'wa', 'moved', 'live', 'honestly', 'ha', 'tough', 'lived', 'year', 'moved', 'also', 'found', 'love', 'life', 'didnt', 'find', 'ive', 'struggling', 'hard', 'depression', 'time', 'ha', 'led', 'end', 'study', 'several', 'time', 'nothing', 'made', 'get', 'income', 'made', 'end', 'getting', 'stupid', 'loan', 'cant', 'pay', 'back', 'well', 'kicked', 'apartment', 'soon', 'cant', 'pay', 'rent', 'ive', 'totally', 'lost', 'live', 'cant', 'see', 'way', 'turn', 'life', 'around', 'fix', 'point', 'feel', 'like', 'thing', 'cant', 'fixed', 'arent', 'meant', 'one', 'thing', 'could', 'go', 'lot', 'detail', 'short', 'version', 'continuing', 'live', 'end', 'pain', 'debt', 'place', 'live', 'feel', 'free', 'leave', 'thought', 'thats', 'whyi', 'amwriting']
116
['recurring', 'nightmare', 'cant', 'remember', 'lost', 'whatever', 'left', 'wont', 'matter', 'tomorrow', 'say', 'everything', 'happens', 'reason', 'right', 'butg', 'cant', 'get', 'fucking', 'itchy', 'static', 'scratchy', 'feeling', 'skull', 'close', 'eye', 'see', 'exact', 'face', 'imprinted', 'back', 'eyelid', 'garfield', 'pulling', 'skin', 'taut', 'around', 'hisi', 'joking', 'genital', 'area', 'whole', 'body', 'shaking', 'breath', 'hitching', 'dont', 'know', 'supposed', 'mean', 'olanzapine', 'bottle', 'calpol', 'kitchen', 'cupboard', 'dont', 'bother', 'replying', 'bullshit', 'excuse', 'keep', 'breathing', 'died', 'long', 'time', 'ago', 'already', 'goodbye']
68
['happy', 'difference', 'doe', 'make', 'cant', 'make', 'sound', 'cant', 'seen', 'disgusting', 'disgrace', 'death', 'thing', 'kill', 'see', 'everyones', 'eye', 'want', 'gone', 'feel', 'sorry', 'ever', 'taking', 'space', 'wasting', 'time', 'feel', 'sorry', 'feel', 'dirty', 'feel', 'heavy', 'please', 'please', 'please', 'let', 'die', 'time']
38
['dont', 'think', 'live', 'world', 'anymorei', 'amsick', 'alive', 'world', 'nobody', 'accepts', 'understands', 'mei', 'amsick', 'hated', 'constantly', 'told', 'thati', 'worthless', 'deserve', 'die', 'form', 'autismi', 'amsick', 'trying', 'open', 'struggle', 'listened', 'rather', 'blindly', 'hated', 'told', 'thati', 'worthless', 'diei', 'amsick', 'bullied', 'physically', 'verbally', 'attacked', 'constantly', 'different', 'alli', 'amsick', 'parent', 'giving', 'shit', 'thinki', 'ama', 'terrible', 'person', 'well', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'cant', 'stand', 'living', 'world', 'everybody', 'hate', 'would', 'hate', 'met', 'tonighti', 'going', 'go', 'bed', 'suffocate', 'death', 'pillow', 'parent', 'spend', 'whole', 'night', 'thinkingi', 'amactually', 'sleeping']
77
['getting', 'harder', 'harder', 'justify', 'living', 'normal', 'selfconscious', 'low', 'self', 'esteem', 'cant', 'make', 'friend', 'friend', 'contact', 'phone', 'book', 'mom', 'grandmother', 'brother', 'stepdad', 'one', 'talk', 'regularly', 'mom', 'cant', 'help', 'anymore', 'really', 'reaching', 'final', 'straw', 'point', 'getting', 'hard', 'continue', 'justifying', 'existence', 'hide', 'people', 'live', 'dream', 'head', 'becausei', 'scared', 'talk', 'anything']
47
['thinki', 'going', 'kill', 'soon', 'whole', 'life', 'shit', 'due', 'pathetic', 'nature', 'ive', 'got', 'chronic', 'willness', 'make', 'miserable', 'ive', 'missed', 'much', 'work', 'due', 'depressioni', 'amlikely', 'lose', 'job', 'week', 'friend', 'one', 'care', 'people', 'get', 'contact', 'need', 'somethingi', 'large', 'amount', 'debt', 'college', 'degree', 'career', 'prospect', 'ive', 'never', 'romantic', 'relationship', 'anything', 'similar', 'look', 'ugly', 'even', 'wa', 'fit', 'wa', 'unable', 'attract', 'anyone', 'people', 'tell', 'mei', 'amfunny', 'tell', 'mei', 'ama', 'nice', 'person', 'apparently', 'hasnt', 'enoughall', 'alli', 'amjust', 'waste', 'space', 'earth', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'least', 'insurance', 'company', 'wont', 'pay', 'arm', 'leg', 'every', 'month', 'stupid', 'medicine', 'wish', 'could', 'fix', 'life', 'deep', 'know', 'thing', 'would', 'turn', 'way', 'anyway', 'becausei', 'pathetic', 'amount', 'anything', 'wish', 'could', 'apologize', 'people', 'expected', 'thing', 'wa', 'younger', 'nowi', 'amalmost', 'complete', 'failureevery', 'evening', 'fantasize', 'killing', 'every', 'time', 'get', 'closer', 'finally', 'point', 'ive', 'started', 'planning', 'logistically', 'hopefully', 'donate', 'stuff', 'bite', 'bullet']
132
['hope', 'dont', 'wake', 'tomorrow', 'mixed', 'alcohol', 'pain', 'killer', 'realizing', 'pathetic', 'person', 'feel', 'dizzy', 'numb', 'right', 'hope', 'tomorrow', 'wake', 'another', 'world', 'world', 'leaf', 'alone', 'never', 'change', 'never', 'good', 'person', 'matter', 'happens', 'hope', 'die', 'anyone', 'read', 'wanted', 'say', 'tried']
37
['end', 'life', 'pls', 'hate', 'living', 'wanna', 'dead', 'dont', 'wanna', 'exist', 'someone', 'please', 'kill', 'run', 'burn', 'shoot', 'drown', 'whatever', 'take', 'die', 'please', 'kill', 'mei', 'amdone', 'living', 'itll', 'make', 'happy', 'cant', 'wait', 'longer', 'ima', 'commit', 'suicide', 'next', 'year', 'june', 'july', 'cant', 'wait', 'long', 'much', 'time', 'pass', 'slowly', 'hate', 'much', 'hate', 'living', 'wanna', 'die', 'fucking', 'badly']
53
['amlost', 'sea', 'lamenti', 'tired', 'feeling', 'like', 'life', 'damn', 'game', 'lost', 'girl', 'loved', 'world', 'good', 'sudden', 'split', 'heart', 'shattered', 'trillion', 'piece', 'dont', 'know', 'motivated', 'much', 'gave', 'happiness', 'never', 'wa', 'one', 'knew', 'wa', 'wont', 'ever', 'get', 'back', 'bc', 'fucked', 'bad', 'started', 'smoking', 'drinking', 'know', 'shouldnt', 'dad', 'alcoholic', 'druggy', 'dont', 'wanna', 'end', 'like', 'ever', 'since', 'split', 'hasnt', 'treating', 'well', 'didnt', 'want', 'split', 'originally', 'mom', 'made', 'shes', 'already', 'starting', 'get', 'another', 'guy', 'even', 'day', 'feel', 'betrayed', 'crushed', 'said', 'wa', 'real', 'went', 'turned', 'back', 'shes', 'acting', 'like', 'fault', 'well', 'never', 'get', 'back', 'together', 'ive', 'never', 'low', 'life', 'ive', 'lost', 'hope', 'love', 'nobody', 'treat', 'like', 'human', 'anymorei', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'game', 'people', 'like', 'always', 'fucking', 'play', 'nobody', 'respect', 'let', 'alone', 'give', 'damn', 'well', 'fucking', 'hate', 'life', 'want', 'diei', 'tired', 'suffering', 'feel', 'like', 'isnt', 'anything', 'look', 'forward', 'ive', 'brought', 'knee', 'nothing', 'ever', 'get', 'stand', 'lost', 'friend', 'self', 'esteem', 'motivation', 'love', 'everything', 'want', 'diei', 'tired', 'drowning', 'ocean', 'suffering', 'sadness']
150
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129
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104
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145
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72
['never', 'felt', 'lower', 'got', 'dumped', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'die']
9
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23
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23
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341
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84
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33
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241
['hatemyself', 'hate', 'much', 'amrunning', 'ability', 'pretend', 'amstarting', 'plan', 'dont', 'know']
10
['amgonna', 'ive', 'enough', 'soon', 'get', 'chance', 'kill', 'take']
8
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173
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119
['need', 'motivation', 'clean', 'end', 'dont', 'want', 'leave', 'behind', 'bunch', 'crap', 'wheni', 'amgone', 'family', 'spend', 'three', 'straight', 'month', 'selling', 'grandmother', 'stuffi', 'putting', 'family', 'againi', 'bought', 'crap', 'could', 'call', 'fit', 'shopping', 'therapy', 'back', 'didnt', 'realize', 'eventually', 'become', 'suicidal', 'unfortunately', 'bought', 'wa', 'obscure', 'rare', 'stuff', 'cant', 'dump', 'goodwill', 'went', 'sell', 'leave', 'behind', 'money', 'people', 'actually', 'usethe', 'thought', 'putting', 'energy', 'ebay', 'listing', 'wait', 'extended', 'period', 'time', 'finalize', 'sale', 'make', 'several', 'item', 'want', 'barely', 'energy', 'make', 'post']
72
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101
['simple', 'wanting', 'iti', 'amuselessi', 'ama', 'lazy', 'motherfucker', 'mean', 'myriad', 'problem', 'unsolvable', 'refuse', 'workbut', 'nothing', 'frustrating', 'told', 'oh', 'boy', 'thanks', 'totally', 'fixing', 'problem', 'cant', 'believe', 'time', 'wa', 'didnt', 'want', 'worksjust', 'attitude', 'stop', 'hating', 'love', 'life']
34
['fucked', 'bf', 'calling', 'wa', 'searching', 'way', 'kill', 'myselfi', 'amall', 'kind', 'fucked', 'people', 'cancel', 'porn', 'chronology', 'cancel', 'suicidal', 'researchesall', 'joke', 'aside', 'time']
21
['trying', 'feel', 'feeling', 'numb', 'contexti', 'year', 'old', 'full', 'time', 'job', 'registered', 'nurse', 'broke', 'foot', 'work', 'nowi', 'ambasically', 'paperwork', 'functional', 'super', 'reckless', 'emotionally', 'physically', 'think', 'sex', 'addiction', 'kind', 'emotional', 'addictioni', 'drunk', 'right', 'apologize', 'disjointed', 'nature', 'post', 'every', 'day', 'want', 'end', 'attempt', 'didnt', 'like', 'tell', 'professional', 'scaring', 'rational', 'ive', 'thinking', 'like', 'split', 'decision', 'would', 'make', 'thats', 'really', 'terrifyign', 'think', 'way', 'make', 'seem', 'totally', 'ok', 'end', 'life', 'emotionlally', 'fucked', 'lately', 'super', 'upsetting', 'wa', 'multiyear', 'relationship', 'back', 'back', 'year', 'since', 'last', 'one', 'ended', 'ive', 'sleeping', 'around', 'excessvily', 'know', 'need', 'stop', 'keep', 'make', 'feel', 'bad', 'yet', 'continue', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'wrong', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whati', 'trying', 'get', 'posting', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'cynical', 'worhtless', 'dont', 'know', 'even', 'waste', 'time', 'continuing']
114
['need', 'someone', 'talk', 'toi', 'amvery', 'lost', 'life', 'title', 'saysim', 'really', 'loss', 'backed', 'corner', 'made', 'throwaway', 'account', 'obvious', 'reason', 'adult', 'know', 'life', 'work', 'would', 'love', 'talk', 'thank']
26
['time', 'well', 'friend', 'family', 'apart', 'brother', 'came', 'tonight', 'well', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'ive', 'lost', 'even', 'told', 'commit', 'knowing', 'full', 'well', 'want', 'well', 'bye', 'ahadont', 'even', 'reply', 'wont', 'see', 'ka', 'tw', 'wm', 'ac', 'loved', 'guy']
34
['want', 'fucking', 'die', 'hate', 'living', 'much', 'everything', 'awful', 'truly', 'want', 'dienothing', 'give', 'happiness', 'joyi', 'amjust', 'constantly', 'going', 'motion', 'life', 'want', 'eternal', 'peace', 'dont', 'much', 'say', 'know', 'cant', 'keep', 'living', 'need', 'die']
31
['people', 'say', 'hii', 'amfeeling', 'extremely', 'upset', 'want', 'talk']
8
['life', 'box', 'life', 'forceful', 'sense', 'want']
6
['amabout', 'jump', 'bridge', 'onto', 'motorway', 'check', 'news', 'around', 'manchester', 'next', 'day', 'probably', 'report', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'last', 'thing', 'ever', 'say', 'whoever', 'read', 'want', 'know', 'never', 'trust', 'anyone', 'wa', 'robbed', 'multimillions', 'dont', 'know', 'deserved', 'life', 'grown', 'poor', 'friend', 'shit', 'grade', 'ugly', 'fucki', 'never', 'friend', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'good', 'wa', 'making', 'money', 'tried', 'make', 'something', 'lost', 'goodbye', 'see', 'side']
55
['brain', 'wont', 'stop', 'yelling', 'everything', 'hurt', 'much', 'want', 'stop', 'fucj']
10
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168
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76
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34
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197
['layed', 'road', 'got', 'put', 'mental', 'ward', 'hospital', 'wa', 'ok', 'first', 'really', 'dont', 'pay', 'attention', 'scream', 'hour', 'listen', 'dont', 'let', 'outside', 'anything', 'minute', 'leave', 'ran', 'amprobably', 'going', 'sleep', 'street', 'probably', 'jump', 'building']
31
['amfailing', 'university', 'degreei', 'amafraid', 'leave', 'house', 'thinki', 'ama', 'fat', 'ugly', 'worthless', 'failurei', 'amstrugglingi', 'amactually', 'fucking', 'struggling', 'keep', 'afloat', 'never', 'wish', 'went', 'universityi', 'amfailing', 'class', 'top', 'mentally', 'unstable', 'month', 'feel', 'like', 'complete', 'failure', 'one', 'semester', 'left', 'finally', 'free', 'hard', 'havent', 'taken', 'break', 'time', 'actually', 'focus', 'year', 'matter', 'much', 'beg', 'family', 'boyfriend', 'tell', 'keep', 'going', 'taken', 'break', 'escaped', 'abuse', 'ex', 'used', 'sexually', 'emotionally', 'financially', 'abuse', 'one', 'let', 'take', 'time', 'top', 'want', 'study', 'fashion', 'design', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'learning', 'psychology', 'anymore', 'especially', 'psychological', 'wellbeing', 'even', 'close', 'healthy', 'cannot', 'leave', 'fear', 'disappointing', 'everyone', 'cant', 'pain', 'stop', 'finally', 'feel', 'likei', 'ama', 'human', 'want', 'die']
98
['near', 'end', 'messed', 'person', 'feel', 'hope', 'life', 'ive', 'known', 'pain', 'fear', 'anxiety', 'every', 'year', 'get', 'unbearable', 'knowing', 'slowing', 'wasting', 'away', 'living', 'life', 'simply', 'incapable', 'soeveryday', 'seems', 'unreal', 'life', 'cant', 'believe', 'life', 'ha', 'become', 'become', 'almost', 'like', 'nightmare', 'amwishing', 'would', 'wake', 'please', 'take', 'back', 'wa', 'kid', 'everything', 'fell', 'destructionits', 'scary', 'think', 'back', 'year', 'life', 'know', 'joy', 'know', 'friendship', 'feeling', 'success', 'happiness', 'ever', 'fear', 'bad', 'memory', 'pure', 'emptiness', 'block', 'feel', 'paini', 'honestly', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'losing', 'mind', 'need', 'helpthere', 'option', 'cannot', 'normal', 'functioning', 'person', 'society', 'simply', 'cannot', 'day', 'turned', 'week', 'week', 'month', 'month', 'year', 'cannot', 'take', 'anymore', 'ha', 'stopi', 'need', 'consciousness', 'end', 'nothing', 'suffering', 'year', 'year', 'lost', 'darkness', 'cant', 'take', 'itthings', 'messed', 'upi', 'messed', 'please', 'help']
116
['ammaking', 'plan', 'hello', 'dont', 'really', 'post', 'anything', 'reddit', 'forgive', 'get', 'anything', 'wrongi', 'amat', 'end', 'tetheri', 'amon', 'edge', 'feel', 'like', 'totally', 'hopeless', 'ive', 'got', 'two', 'young', 'child', 'husband', 'marriage', 'good', 'one', 'despite', 'fact', 'constantly', 'pull', 'thread', 'destroy', 'iti', 'complete', 'self', 'destruct', 'modei', 'amdrinking', 'lot', 'staying', 'late', 'every', 'opportunity', 'get', 'getting', 'wasted', 'time', 'feel', 'anything', 'crippling', 'desperationi', 'ambecoming', 'toxic', 'presence', 'presence', 'everyone', 'lovei', 'amconvinced', 'thati', 'ambetter', 'dead', 'everyone', 'would', 'better', 'gone', 'amterrified', 'hurting', 'ive', 'inflicted', 'much', 'pain', 'already', 'nowi', 'amtrapped', 'causing', 'really', 'panic', 'cant', 'kill', 'without', 'causing', 'irreparable', 'damage', 'family', 'cant', 'bare', 'live', 'another', 'day', 'please', 'help']
95
['dont', 'know', 'else', 'man', 'moment', 'really', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'dont', 'know', 'fuck', 'give', 'background', 'recently', 'started', 'business', 'best', 'friend', 'year', 'ago', 'one', 'solely', 'dished', 'business', 'money', 'became', 'factor', 'friendship', 'thing', 'changed', 'drastically', 'debt', 'person', 'ha', 'turned', 'ha', 'used', 'money', 'purely', 'raf', 'money', 'point', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'fucking', 'wanting', 'move', 'seems', 'still', 'need', 'deal', 'also', 'depressive', 'episode', 'doe', 'contribute', 'well', 'moment', 'want', 'talk', 'someone', 'doesnt', 'judge', 'mistake', 'end', 'bullshit', 'want', 'fucking', 'done']
73
['friend', 'may', 'suicidal', 'friend', 'although', 'think', 'seriously', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'talk', 'suicide', 'lot', 'example', 'day', 'ago', 'said', 'something', 'along', 'line', 'dude', 'dont', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'like', 'want', 'kill', 'everyone', 'around', 'responded', 'particularly', 'said', 'mutual', 'enemy', 'jokingly', 'replied', 'okay', 'maybe', 'occasionally', 'say', 'thing', 'like', 'workload', 'ap', 'chem', 'hard', 'sometimes', 'want', 'kill', 'think', 'joking', 'nothing', 'worried', 'abouti', 'still', 'worried', 'longest', 'friend', 'ive', 'far', 'best', 'friend', 'soi', 'amunsure', 'help']
64
['stuck', 'unhappiness', 'worthlessness', 'bad', 'person', 'wish', 'would', 'die', 'sleep', 'wish', 'anyone', 'ha', 'ever', 'cared', 'realizes', 'going', 'drag', 'lie', 'hiding', 'distaste', 'life', 'suicidal', 'feeling', 'actually', 'fixing', 'take', 'eternity', 'anyone', 'try', 'long', 'wasting', 'time', 'worthless', 'cause', 'never', 'escape', 'feel', 'worthless', 'unhappy', 'feeling', 'nothing', 'life', 'doesnt', 'happy', 'ending', 'result', 'entropy', 'happiness', 'every', 'day', 'still', 'taste', 'happiness', 'sliver', 'compared', 'day', 'invisible', 'speck', 'compared', 'two', 'day', 'living', 'really', 'worth', 'probably', 'going', 'die', 'right', 'going', 'sleep', 'soon', 'hopefully', 'die', 'get', 'replaced', 'someone', 'worth', 'people', 'time', 'care']
80
['hard', 'time', 'ive', 'depressive', 'episode', 'long', 'remember', 'lately', 'lot', 'worse', 'ive', 'always', 'thought', 'didnt', 'want', 'die', 'wanted', 'dead', 'killing', 'wa', 'never', 'something', 'could', 'however', 'lately', 'ive', 'thinking', 'easy', 'actually', 'would', 'end', 'iti', 'afraid', 'act', 'anymore', 'sure', 'feel', 'tried', 'reach', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'day', 'real', 'luck', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'using', 'chat', 'service', 'speaking', 'person', 'really', 'doesnt', 'help', 'much', 'thought', 'never', 'translate', 'speech', 'got', 'connected', 'actual', 'chat', 'copypasted', 'paragraph', 'telling', 'call', 'hotline', 'disconnected', 'ive', 'tried', 'talk', 'doctor', 'feelingsive', 'never', 'diagnosed', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'asked', 'lost', 'interest', 'thing', 'like', 'well', 'havent', 'told', 'wa', 'end', 'thati', 'sorry', 'ifi', 'amrambling', 'much', 'ive', 'reached', 'help', 'many', 'time', 'past', 'year', 'response', 'ive', 'getting', 'tell', 'reach', 'helpi', 'sure', 'else', 'doi', 'amkind', 'end', 'rope']
112
['someone', 'talk', 'tonight', 'really', 'depressed', 'trying', 'avoid', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'talking', 'connecting', 'another', 'person', 'really', 'help', 'feel', 'better', 'thanks']
18
['dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'left', 'military', 'couple', 'year', 'ago', 'longer', 'able', 'cope', 'ptsd', 'back', 'back', 'deployment', 'id', 'started', 'school', 'wife', 'began', 'new', 'career', 'life', 'seemed', 'ok', 'almost', 'nowhere', 'sister', 'kid', 'get', 'taken', 'away', 'child', 'service', 'family', 'begs', 'wife', 'take', 'custody', 'three', 'young', 'child', 'sister', 'may', 'able', 'visitation', 'opposed', 'foster', 'parent', 'might', 'allow', 'ton', 'fear', 'trepidation', 'surrounding', 'notion', 'agree', 'couple', 'month', 'almost', 'sleep', 'grade', 'slipping', 'vent', 'family', 'member', 'call', 'selfish', 'complaining', 'considering', 'situation', 'baby', 'sister', 'decide', 'press', 'sister', 'visit', 'kid', 'daily', 'grows', 'increasingly', 'passive', 'aggressive', 'treat', 'u', 'like', 'servant', 'throw', 'fit', 'dont', 'raise', 'kid', 'way', 'prefers', 'many', 'argument', 'ensue', 'attempt', 'reconcile', 'come', 'happy', 'solution', 'sister', 'never', 'happy', 'always', 'start', 'fight', 'fast', 'forward', 'couple', 'year', 'kid', 'still', 'idea', 'sister', 'regain', 'custody', 'ive', 'graduated', 'school', 'cant', 'fight', 'decent', 'paying', 'job', 'due', 'hour', 'cant', 'findafford', 'anyone', 'watch', 'kid', 'preschool', 'hour', 'behind', 'bill', 'sister', 'taken', 'court', 'child', 'support', 'request', 'state', 'grows', 'madder', 'abusive', 'moment', 'shes', 'always', 'shown', 'clear', 'sign', 'antisocial', 'personality', 'disorder', 'andor', 'narcissism', 'shes', 'threatening', 'blame', 'fraud', 'idk', 'accuses', 'hurting', 'kid', 'every', 'time', 'end', 'bruise', 'fighting', 'one', 'another', 'ha', 'zero', 'ground', 'little', 'proof', 'know', 'allegation', 'alone', 'could', 'ruin', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'really', 'wit', 'end', 'solution', 'getting', 'back', 'give', 'custody', 'child', 'servicesfoster', 'care', 'break', 'heart', 'tremendously', 'give', 'kid', 'regardless', 'hard', 'since', 'ive', 'since', 'infancy', 'making', 'tear', 'type', 'wanna', 'live', 'cant', 'see', 'life', 'getting', 'brighter', 'broke', 'homeless', 'jail', 'intended', 'thing', 'helping', 'family', 'tldr', 'sister', 'kid', 'shes', 'happy', 'ruining', 'life']
231
['welli', 'amat', 'low', 'place', 'guess', 'passed', 'thei', 'going', 'hurt', 'although', 'yesterday', 'try', 'wasnt', 'first', 'hopefully', 'last', 'never', 'one', 'talk', 'people', 'tried', 'therapy', 'since', 'holding', 'job', 'almost', 'impossible', 'last', 'year', 'option', 'financiallyi', 'back', 'home', 'wife', 'kid', 'time', 'parent', 'dont', 'think', 'something', 'wrongi', 'ampretty', 'open', 'seen', 'scar', 'witnessed', 'attempt', 'heard', 'horrer', 'story', 'closest', 'still', 'dont', 'understand', 'howi', 'amalive', 'continue', 'tell', 'attention', 'soon', 'happened', 'never', 'thought', 'would', 'back', 'point', 'since', 'kid', 'wa', 'always', 'enough', 'feel', 'worried', 'may', 'pas', 'onto', 'sadness', 'give', 'bad', 'memory', 'try', 'even', 'job', 'got', 'hospitalized', 'couldnt', 'work', 'still', 'cant', 'supposed', 'lift', 'ten', 'pound', 'everyone', 'seems', 'think', 'want', 'lazy', 'help', 'like', 'isnt', 'killing', 'inside', 'probably', 'delete', 'someday', 'dont', 'feel', 'need', 'throw', 'away', 'life', 'somehow', 'place', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'sharing', 'story', 'wasnt', 'brother', 'probably', 'driving', 'speed', 'light', 'able', 'break', 'barrier', 'mentally', 'physically', 'may', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'begin', 'start', 'feel', 'normal', 'happy', 'walk', 'fog', 'feeling', 'sluggish', 'useless', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'way', 'daughter', 'suggestion', 'book', 'movie', 'maybe', 'someone', 'ha', 'something', 'havent', 'tried', 'cant', 'really', 'exercise', 'thats', 'least', 'next', 'month']
164
['want', 'somebody', 'try', 'help', 'know', 'people', 'worse', 'probably', 'shouldnt', 'complaining', 'lowest', 'ive', 'ever', 'felt', 'girlfriend', 'year', 'broke', 'wouldnt', 'bad', 'wasnt', 'also', 'person', 'talked', 'aside', 'parent', 'unfortunately', 'theyre', 'best', 'even', 'good', 'emotional', 'support', 'moved', 'new', 'town', 'go', 'new', 'college', 'apartment', 'little', 'week', 'broke', 'nowhere', 'longest', 'relationship', 'ever', 'even', 'going', 'back', 'forth', 'lovey', 'love', 'stuff', 'couple', 'day', 'wa', 'completely', 'blindsided', 'thing', 'thats', 'worse', 'person', 'would', 'ever', 'talk', 'something', 'like', 'wa', 'best', 'thing', 'life', 'nothing', 'wa', 'thing', 'kept', 'thinking', 'dark', 'fact', 'life', 'suffering', 'better', 'eternal', 'void', 'nothing', 'wa', 'told', 'could', 'still', 'friend', 'text', 'needed', 'anything', 'day', 'turned', 'response', 'response', 'basically', 'saying', 'couldnt', 'friend', 'shouldnt', 'talk', 'completely', 'dont', 'know', 'hope', 'accomplish', 'posting', 'anybody', 'help', 'last', 'time', 'called', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'guy', 'wa', 'shit', 'kept', 'telling', 'therapy', 'solution', 'need', 'even', 'tried', 'didnt', 'work', 'right', 'want', 'somebody', 'understand', 'feel', 'dont', 'anybody', 'left', 'honestly', 'care']
137
['step', 'forward', 'went', 'bought', 'rope', 'today', 'dont', 'know', 'finally', 'take', 'plunge', 'oki', 'amoki', 'amat', 'peace', 'way', 'wanted', 'go', 'choice', 'go', 'want', 'let', 'people', 'know', 'doesnt', 'get', 'better', 'everyonethis', 'life', 'isnt', 'everyone', 'thats', 'ok']
33
['didnt', 'jump', 'wendsday', 'dad', 'expects', 'nothing', 'except', 'perfection', 'mom', 'treat', 'sibling', 'slave', 'one', 'best', 'friend', 'cant', 'remember', 'ami', 'nearly', 'jumped', 'wall', 'last', 'wendsday', 'dont', 'know', 'long', 'jump', 'oh', 'found', 'outi', 'ambipolar', 'top', 'autism']
33
['shit', 'even', 'left', 'anymore', 'get', 'horrible', 'grade', 'matter', 'long', 'study', 'try', 'friend', 'like', 'becausei', 'amthe', 'class', 'clown', 'joke', 'around', 'class', 'cant', 'stop', 'adhd', 'ocd', 'anxiety', 'probably', 'one', 'others', 'havnt', 'diagnosed', 'future', 'cant', 'even', 'fraction', 'decimal', 'let', 'alone', 'something', 'job', 'might', 'require', 'skill', 'arei', 'really', 'good', 'computer', 'get', 'popularity', 'wont', 'mean', 'shit', 'try', 'get', 'job', 'everyone', 'made', 'rom', 'custom', 'made', 'phone', 'shit', 'even', 'left', 'point', 'care', 'none', 'teacher', 'wanna', 'help', 'ive', 'pissed', 'much', 'none', 'like', 'friend', 'leave', 'moment', 'think', 'joke', 'arent', 'funny', 'anymore', 'amseverly', 'depressed', 'extreme', 'stress', 'possibly', 'getting', 'kicked', 'school', 'ive', 'fight', 'got', 'suspension', 'third', 'mean', 'expulsion', 'college', 'want', 'see', 'grade', 'cant', 'shit', 'anymore']
104
['point', 'best', 'friend', 'ha', 'finally', 'grown', 'tired', 'friend', 'rarely', 'speaks', 'mei', 'amalone', 'may', 'well', 'push', 'date', 'tonight', 'yeah']
18
['tired', 'want', 'stop', 'girlfriend', 'year', 'year', 'old', 'daughter', 'together', 'wife', 'year', 'two', 'year', 'old', 'together', 'support', 'family', 'give', 'love', 'care', 'getting', 'heavy', 'girlfriend', 'dont', 'want', 'serious', 'ended', 'married', 'wanted', 'serious', 'several', 'year', 'later', 'gave', 'love', 'family', 'polar', 'opposite', 'one', 'skinny', 'one', 'fat', 'everything', 'opposite', 'maybe', 'thats', 'drain', 'kid', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'related', 'girlfriend', 'know', 'wife', 'doe', 'noti', 'tired', 'want', 'everything', 'end', 'ambetting', 'life', 'day', 'week', 'everyone', 'together', 'let', 'come', 'dont', 'know', 'anybody', 'going', 'take', 'dont', 'know', 'howi', 'going', 'take', 'go', 'way', 'expect', 'think', 'end', 'night', 'feel', 'selfish', 'feeling', 'way', 'feel', 'need', 'come', 'stress', 'free', 'happy', 'happiness', 'anyway', 'decides', 'may', 'make', 'sense', 'amat', 'bar', 'drunk', 'thinking', 'maybe', 'meet', 'funeral', 'wont', 'deal', 'ever', 'happens', 'kid', 'girlfriend', 'wife', 'pull', 'succeed', 'kill', 'end']
119
['cant', 'believe', 'come', 'quit', 'job', 'back', 'april', 'without', 'week', 'notice', 'wa', 'treated', 'unfairly', 'wa', 'livid', 'made', 'huge', 'scene', 'last', 'day', 'wa', 'stupid', 'worked', 'year', 'cant', 'even', 'list', 'experience', 'cant', 'even', 'seem', 'get', 'another', 'job', 'period', 'month', 'mention', 'impossible', 'dont', 'transportation', 'reasoni', 'homeless', 'parent', 'havent', 'kicked', 'yet', 'cant', 'stand', 'living', 'thoughi', 'going', 'cancel', 'phone', 'service', 'soon', 'mean', 'never', 'get', 'job', 'fucking', 'life', 'experience', 'despite', 'year', 'old', 'dont', 'know', 'drive', 'cant', 'go', 'house', 'wa', 'raised', 'continue', 'deal', 'narcissistic', 'helicopter', 'parent', 'surely', 'contributed', 'fear', 'everything', 'extreme', 'social', 'anxiety', 'real', 'cherry', 'top', 'fucking', 'ugly', 'disorder', 'ha', 'caused', 'substantial', 'permanent', 'hair', 'loss', 'acne', 'past', 'month', 'hard', 'developed', 'wrinkle', 'even', 'fine', 'line', 'around', 'mouth', 'looked', 'mirror', 'didnt', 'recognize', 'look', 'like', 'balding', 'underdeveloped', 'teenager', 'wrinkle', 'bag', 'eye', 'think', 'solidified', 'decision', 'end', 'ive', 'wanting', 'long', 'time', 'know', 'need', 'make', 'happen', 'one', 'say', 'get', 'better', 'point', 'thats', 'fact']
139
['cant', 'dont', 'want', 'keep', 'going', 'wish', 'unfounded', 'irrational', 'nobody', 'respect', 'dunno', 'come', 'back', 'check', 'reply']
15
['know', 'thing', 'arent', 'going', 'get', 'better', 'resource', 'nice', 'non', 'judgemental', 'suicide', 'stranger', 'know', 'life', 'going', 'get', 'better', 'wont', 'every', 'effort', 'hasnt', 'worked', 'possibly', 'wrong', 'sub', 'id', 'like', 'least', 'alone']
29
['cant', 'know', 'one', 'going', 'really', 'respond', 'dont', 'know', 'even', 'bothering', 'one', 'care', 'dont', 'expect', 'toi', 'amhopeless', 'toxic', 'destructive', 'ruin', 'everything', 'amthe', 'last', 'thing', 'destroy', 'point', 'anymore', 'nothing', 'left', 'ash', 'couldve']
30
['ignored', 'reach', 'week', 'ago', 'wa', 'really', 'desperate', 'posted', 'mental', 'health', 'problem', 'social', 'medium', 'didnt', 'get', 'many', 'responsesa', 'couple', 'hang', 'good', 'vibe', 'sort', 'stuff', 'one', 'person', 'responded', 'wa', 'former', 'classmate', 'asked', 'could', 'help', 'told', 'could', 'use', 'someone', 'talk', 'said', 'could', 'reach', 'time', 'wa', 'late', 'night', 'sent', 'message', 'morning', 'conversation', 'wa', 'brief', 'felt', 'worse', 'afterward', 'really', 'needed', 'talk', 'someone', 'offered', 'thought', 'would', 'actually', 'listen', 'tried', 'reaching', 'last', 'night', 'giving', 'update', 'thing', 'talked', 'last', 'week', 'whole', 'day', 'never', 'opened', 'message', 'shes', 'social', 'medium', 'multiple', 'time', 'since', 'found', 'yesterday', 'wa', 'actually', 'city', 'hurt', 'lot', 'learn', 'wa', 'didnt', 'reach', 'since', 'shes', 'aware', 'isolated', 'thati', 'going', 'hard', 'time', 'really', 'painful', 'given', 'hope', 'person', 'careswants', 'help', 'actively', 'avoid', 'dont', 'know', 'wrongi', 'dont', 'think', 'put', 'much', 'problem', 'initial', 'conversation', 'would', 'help', 'lot', 'talk', 'seems', 'itnot', 'interested', 'dont', 'know', 'fix', 'try']
132
['wondering', 'wondering', 'ran', 'post', 'pet', 'lost', 'couple', 'hope', 'well']
9
['guy', 'please', 'tell', 'feel', 'like', 'dying', 'solution', 'know', 'might', 'seem', 'like', 'unpersonal', 'question', 'really', 'interested', 'knowing', 'event', 'led', 'people', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'go', 'next', 'day', 'suicidal', 'right', 'often', 'find', 'thinking', 'taken', 'pill', 'let', 'blood', 'go', 'cut', 'longer']
37
['live', 'havent', 'wanted', 'live', 'long', 'time', 'dont', 'know', 'ever', 'consciously', 'chose', 'lifei', 'amalive', 'bei', 'take', 'care', 'mom', 'ha', 'lot', 'health', 'problem', 'dream', 'desire', 'know', 'experience', 'never', 'achieve', 'obtain', 'anything', 'good', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'way', 'anymore', 'feeling', 'never', 'go', 'away', 'dont', 'know', 'make', 'fight', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'dont', 'know', 'improve', 'thing', 'desire', 'anything', 'ive', 'even', 'let', 'go', 'wanting', 'feel', 'better', 'never']
63
['feeling', 'hopeless', 'future', 'situation', 'want', 'change', 'option', 'fact', 'alone', 'terrifies', 'compounding', 'feeling', 'inadequacy', 'worthlessness', 'week', 'alone', 'dwell', 'doe', 'bode', 'well', 'point', 'really', 'know', 'keep', 'coming', 'back', 'suicide']
27
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115
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22
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196
['postponing', 'suicide', 'mum', 'dad', 'really', 'ive', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'since', 'age', 'november', 'year', 'look', 'posting', 'history', 'info', 'situation', 'life', 'ha', 'improved', 'sure', 'want', 'stay', 'world', 'anywayup', 'recently', 'strongest', 'force', 'wa', 'holding', 'back', 'committing', 'suicide', 'wa', 'idea', 'die', 'mum', 'dad', 'theyd', 'bury', 'man', 'id', 'hate', 'making', 'go', 'time', 'went', 'however', 'became', 'getting', 'number', 'concern', 'oh', 'causing', 'pain', 'caused', 'lot', 'pain', 'bringing', 'world', 'oh', 'care', 'well', 'dont', 'seem', 'want', 'put', 'effort', 'keep', 'alive', 'put', 'effort', 'pleasuresame', 'go', 'method', 'suicide', 'consider', 'jumping', 'front', 'train', 'oh', 'inconvenience', 'perhaps', 'even', 'traumatic', 'experience', 'engineer', 'passenger', 'assisted', 'suicide', 'deserve', 'inconvenience', 'death', 'precedent', 'use', 'advocate', 'assisted', 'suicide', 'help', 'thereso', 'really', 'whats', 'left', 'stop']
104
['purposely', 'put', 'state', 'mind', 'cant', 'get']
6
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230
['whole', 'life', 'wa', 'misery', 'want', 'die', 'becausei', 'ampooruglyi', 'love', 'anyone', 'oont', 'love', 'anyone', 'brother', 'united', 'state', 'never', 'seen', 'since', 'wa', 'kidi', 'love', 'video', 'game', 'dont', 'fucking', 'console', 'younger', 'nephew', 'p', 'nothing', 'want', 'amhere', 'room', 'alone', 'literrally', 'beaten', 'bit', 'arm', 'school', 'start', 'tommorow', 'hate', 'ever', 'since', 'wa', 'wa', 'always', 'insecure', 'look', 'always', 'comparing', 'classmate', 'feel', 'like', 'shiti', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'disease']
60
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124
['know', 'know', 'imbalance', 'chemical', 'telling', 'worst', 'really', 'know', 'worstthe', 'worst', 'way', 'behind', 'mei', 'knowbut', 'still', 'amwondering', 'ive', 'meant', 'nothing', 'people', 'lifenothing', 'propa', 'whipping', 'posti', 'knowits', 'faulti', 'know', 'deserve', 'betteri', 'knowi', 'knowi', 'knowand', 'never', 'happens', 'talk', 'givw', 'work', 'ponderi', 'amcurious', 'think', 'creative', 'way', 'solve', 'boring', 'ordinary', 'problemsi', 'know', 'worse', 'therei', 'knowbut', 'keep', 'thisi', 'know', 'id', 'never', 'see', 'best', 'friend', 'daughter', 'grow', 'much', 'pain', 'cant', 'bare', 'watch', 'innocence', 'drain', 'another', 'little', 'girl', 'replaced', 'pain', 'hardship', 'despairi', 'know', 'id', 'miss', 'food', 'triedthat', 'never', 'finish', 'paintingill', 'never', 'see', 'oakland', 'raider', 'win', 'another', 'superbowlill', 'never', 'see', 'fiji', 'chile', 'france', 'spain', 'knowbut', 'worth', 'doesnt', 'feel', 'worth', 'keep', 'come', 'back', 'hereplease', 'dont', 'make']
106
['thought', 'needed', 'let', 'everybody', 'know', 'concern', 'anybody', 'read', 'ik', 'u', 'hear', 'stuff', 'people', 'tryna', 'console', 'u', 'ur', 'suffering', 'something', 'thats', 'nature', 'please', 'know', 'right', 'second', 'person', 'care', 'like', 'trust', 'please', 'understand', 'hard', 'u', 'becausei', 'close', 'u', 'anything', 'please', 'know', 'care', 'convey', 'message', 'thing', 'people', 'experienced', 'need', 'experience', 'make', 'goal', 'u', 'put', 'devotion', 'help', 'u', 'live', 'better', 'life', 'lot', 'dont', 'know', 'life', 'key', 'simple', 'available', 'u', 'think', 'deep', 'enough', 'sound', 'stupid', 'know', 'lot', 'people', 'might', 'understand', 'u', 'able', 'get', 'ur', 'body', 'point', 'comfortable', 'unlock', 'ur', 'deepest', 'thought', 'u', 'try', 'might', 'painfuli', 'amwarning', 'ik', 'ur', 'smart', 'enough', 'u', 'least', 'understand', 'ive', 'rambling', 'dont', 'expect', 'everybody', 'read', 'thats', 'completely', 'understandable', 'anybody', 'doe', 'please', 'take', 'seriously', 'try', 'unlock', 'deepest', 'thought', 'mind', 'trust', 'strong', 'enought', 'comprehend', 'result', 'even', 'change', 'person']
125
['feeling', 'depressed', 'suicidal', 'want', 'die', 'year', 'old', 'still', 'collegei', 'smart', 'dont', 'look', 'good', 'girl', 'love', 'ha', 'boyfriend', 'losing', 'hair', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'life', 'anymore']
23
['amready', 'kill', 'ive', 'enough', 'b', 'thats', 'called', 'life']
8
['finally', 'alone', 'time', 'parent', 'town', 'opportunity', 'wa', 'waiting', 'month', 'two', 'whole', 'week', 'cleanpackwrite', 'lettersand', 'say', 'goodbye', 'feel', 'bad', 'going', 'come', 'home', 'death', 'soon', 'get', 'plane', 'realize', 'pick', 'know', 'mom', 'isnt', 'ever', 'going', 'recover', 'know', 'shes', 'going', 'need', 'brother', 'support', 'know', 'hate', 'wont', 'never', 'deserved', 'life', 'wa', 'engineer', 'friend', 'son', 'brother', 'threw', 'everything', 'away', 'time', 'time', 'againi', 'sorry', 'mom', 'dad', 'brother', 'love', 'please', 'forgive', 'love', 'much']
65
['something', 'wrote', 'last', 'night', 'ive', 'trying', 'get', 'writing', 'feel', 'like', 'poetry', 'based', 'amproud', 'one', 'wanted', 'share', 'someone', 'goesno', 'trying', 'hide', 'feeling', 'mind', 'laying', 'find', 'gonna', 'end', 'another', 'statistic', 'sadistic', 'world', 'call', 'home', 'take', 'bullet', 'straight', 'dome', 'blade', 'drag', 'across', 'skin', 'love', 'pain', 'put', 'blood', 'start', 'shedi', 'amfinally', 'head', 'try', 'hide', 'whati', 'amfeeling', 'know', 'damage', 'id', 'dealing', 'family', 'friend', 'many', 'time', 'would', 'pick', 'phone', 'hear', 'tone', 'dealing', 'depression', 'recession', 'soul', 'fighting', 'battle', 'inside', 'push', 'feeling', 'deeper', 'climb', 'steeper', 'already', 'tried', 'time', 'end', 'never', 'one', 'stand', 'tall', 'cant', 'hold', 'head', 'high', 'knowing', 'wont', 'heading', 'sky', 'said', 'donei', 'still', 'holding', 'gun', 'pointed', 'straight', 'face', 'even', 'dark', 'place', 'bout', 'take', 'blast', 'happy', 'thing', 'past']
110
['way', 'call', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'without', 'trying', 'trace', 'actively', 'planning', 'want', 'talk', 'bad']
12
['wellp', 'real', 'went', 'bought', 'pint', 'gin', 'amabout', 'quarter', 'way', 'itfor', 'ten', 'long', 'year', 'ive', 'hated', 'pathetic', 'miserable', 'life', 'year', 'therapy', 'diagnosis', 'like', 'cant', 'helponly', 'thing', 'look', 'forward', 'psych', 'eval', 'day', 'bday', 'put', 'mood', 'stabilizersi', 'lived', 'life', 'wanted', 'short', 'honest', 'probably', 'best', 'getit', 'doesnt', 'add', 'live', 'way', 'feel', 'something', 'imbalance', 'oh', 'well', 'cant', 'keep', 'keep', 'pretending', 'everything', 'okayill', 'writing', 'note', 'final', 'testament', 'hour', 'basically', 'soon', 'pint', 'done', 'take', 'care', 'duders', 'duderettes', 'like', 'ya', 'love', 'ya', 'papa', 'bless']
76
['please', 'give', 'reason', 'keep', 'going', 'wanna', 'buy', 'bottle', 'xanax', 'fifth', 'vodka', 'even', 'sure', 'thats', 'enough', 'od', 'would', 'hell', 'ride']
19
['everyone', 'hate', 'every', 'single', 'fucking', 'human', 'beingim', 'hated', 'everyone', 'classmate', 'verbally', 'told', 'hate', 'friend', 'even', 'suicidal', 'people', 'hate', 'mei', 'worthless', 'everyone', 'another', 'fucking', 'doormat', 'stepped', 'onyeah', 'well', 'alli', 'amgiving', 'year', 'live', 'get', 'worsei', 'going', 'bye', 'bye']
36
['suck', 'keep', 'comparing', 'ppl', 'know', 'bigger', 'brother', 'ha', 'job', 'wife', 'kid', 'still', 'stuck', 'home', 'age', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'degree', 'job', 'feel', 'like', 'worthless', 'shit', 'never', 'relationship', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'somebody', 'hug', 'cuddle', 'talk', 'feeling', 'shiti', 'ama', 'ugly', 'unattractive', 'guy', 'dont', 'irl', 'friend', 'friend', 'onlinesteam', 'girl', 'ive', 'talked', 'min', 'ha', 'bf', 'amquite', 'jealous', 'jesus', 'feel', 'like', 'pathetic', 'loser', 'id', 'like', 'end', 'someday']
59
['funny', 'tiny', 'thing', 'make', 'entire', 'life', 'worthless', 'whole', 'life', 'seems', 'ok', 'partnormal', 'family', 'good', 'friend', 'hobby', 'wa', 'pretty', 'good', 'math', 'music', 'programming', 'nice', 'opportunity', 'education', 'looked', 'good', 'trouble', 'finding', 'partner', 'etc', 'etcbut', 'becausei', 'amtrans', 'nothing', 'cant', 'live', 'guy', 'wont', 'womani', 'amhuge', 'deformed', 'male', 'puberty', 'bone', 'always', 'bone', 'man', 'woman', 'shoulder', 'broad', 'ribcage', 'huge', 'hip', 'narrow', 'ive', 'hormone', 'long', 'time', 'havent', 'changed', 'thing', 'cant', 'describe', 'much', 'pain', 'seeing', 'body', 'face', 'brings', 'point', 'suicide', 'seems', 'like', 'reasonable', 'option', 'make', 'pain', 'go', 'away']
80
['want', 'stop', 'fighting', 'dont', 'think', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'know', 'reallyi', 'amjust', 'tired', 'want', 'rest', 'instead', 'keep', 'fighting', 'ive', 'mental', 'health', 'issue', 'twenty', 'one', 'year', 'work', 'cycle', 'monthsi', 'amalright', 'low', 'grade', 'sadness', 'anxiety', 'get', 'day', 'enjoy', 'life', 'hit', 'dont', 'like', 'foodi', 'hungry', 'resource', 'go', 'fighting', 'intrusive', 'thought', 'hurting', 'first', 'stage', 'fight', 'thought', 'pointing', 'shouldnt', 'hurt', 'second', 'stage', 'first', 'one', 'fails', 'argue', 'method', 'practical', 'would', 'work', 'third', 'focus', 'family', 'way', 'may', 'hurt', 'third', 'stage', 'ever', 'fails', 'probably', 'dead', 'last', 'day', 'week', 'usually', 'untili', 'amout', 'pit', 'back', 'steady', 'groundproblem', 'dont', 'want', 'keep', 'fighting', 'cycle', 'dont', 'want', 'screw', 'around', 'medication', 'find', 'right', 'dosage', 'dont', 'want', 'people', 'dont', 'know', 'extent', 'problem', 'judge', 'decide', 'whats', 'best', 'eitherexample', 'discovered', 'two', 'puff', 'devil', 'lettuce', 'wake', 'part', 'back', 'stopped', 'cry', 'around', 'cry', 'maybe', 'year', 'le', 'lack', 'trying', 'cant', 'cry', 'tear', 'also', 'dont', 'many', 'urge', 'protect', 'fight', 'back', 'two', 'puff', 'suddenly', 'could', 'sit', 'cry', 'half', 'hour', 'tear', 'suddenly', 'dont', 'want', 'snapped', 'abused', 'reflect', 'back', 'people', 'try', 'husband', 'wa', 'ecstatic', 'wife', 'finally', 'instead', 'brief', 'glimpse', 'mebut', 'coworker', 'decided', 'smoke', 'caused', 'panic', 'attack', 'didnt', 'smoke', 'work', 'home', 'washed', 'well', 'said', 'wa', 'causing', 'allergic', 'reaction', 'quit', 'get', 'random', 'drug', 'test', 'person', 'say', 'cant', 'bipolar', 'ii', 'two', 'year', 'ive', 'worked', 'theyve', 'never', 'seen', 'manic', 'episode', 'nevermind', 'month', 'stopped', 'sleeping', 'junior', 'highshe', 'bos', 'know', 'whats', 'best', 'smoke', 'go', 'get', 'pill', 'hope', 'bestthat', 'wa', 'monday', 'since', 'ive', 'taken', 'lot', 'medicine', 'something', 'helped', 'dont', 'want', 'fight', 'anymore', 'doesnt', 'much', 'trouble', 'breathing', 'heart', 'feel', 'muscle', 'keep', 'spasming', 'arm', 'twitch', 'eye', 'dilated', 'uncomfortable', 'even', 'painful', 'three', 'daysi', 'dont', 'want', 'fight', 'anymore']
252
['thought', 'thing', 'getting', 'better', 'wondering', 'could', 'kill', 'baseball', 'bat', 'thats', 'desperate', 'ive', 'gotten', 'alone', 'instead', 'talking', 'someonei', 'amtyping', 'post', 'reddit', 'life', 'cruel', 'mistress', 'death', 'ha', 'become', 'palpable', 'like', 'sitting', 'across', 'think', 'didnt', 'know', 'else', 'doi', 'alone']
36
['ive', 'set', 'date', 'managed', 'push', 'away', 'everyone', 'tried', 'care', 'going', 'rough', 'year', 'month', 'job', 'application', 'single', 'call', 'made', 'unwise', 'decision', 'school', 'bad', 'unwise', 'ampaying', 'choice', 'made', 'adult', 'life', 'way', 'fix', 'june', 'year', 'lost', 'one', 'thing', 'holding', 'everyone', 'trying', 'hardest', 'keep', 'away', 'wheni', 'amscratching', 'clawing', 'get', 'back', 'one', 'purpose', 'everyone', 'holding', 'away', 'knowing', 'wa', 'living', 'like', 'want', 'lose', 'hope', 'subpar', 'education', 'extraordinary', 'skill', 'money', 'work', 'history', 'hope', 'one', 'way', 'outi', 'ordinary', 'person', 'living', 'world', 'need', 'spectacular', 'get', 'dont', 'want', 'professional', 'help', 'lead', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'people', 'want', 'need', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'take', 'resource', 'away', 'isnt', 'world']
95
['dont', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'past', 'day', 'shit', 'talked', 'partner', 'insecurity', 'triggered', 'practically', 'ignore', 'past', 'day', 'mad', 'making', 'like', 'impossible', 'insecurity', 'made', 'etc', 'try', 'hard', 'make', 'happy', 'give', 'want', 'amjust', 'still', 'good', 'enough', 'feeling', 'still', 'valid', 'first', 'time', 'ever', 'want', 'impose', 'physical', 'pain', 'emotional', 'pain', 'overwhelming', 'cant', 'stop', 'cry', 'cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'packing', 'stuff', 'going', 'reason', 'dont', 'kid', 'nowhere', 'go', 'think', 'maybe', 'leave', 'behind', 'cannot', 'reason', 'keeping', 'wanting', 'die', 'without', 'life', 'ha', 'meaning', 'may', 'well', 'die', 'ifi', 'going', 'leave', 'behind', 'dont', 'want', 'keep', 'breathing', 'pain', 'anymore', 'feel', 'worthless', 'invisible', 'inconvenient']
95
['want', 'kill', 'die', 'really', 'weirdso', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'say', 'didnt', 'come', 'attention', 'bunch', 'people', 'say', 'nooo', 'suicide', 'bad', 'dont', 'youve', 'got', 'much', 'live', 'confusing', 'situation', 'ive', 'depressed', 'half', 'year', 'stepdad', 'attacked', 'mei', 'amalways', 'negative', 'mum', 'seemed', 'hate', 'told', 'wa', 'fking', 'sick', 'living', 'always', 'swore', 'shouted', 'constantly', 'moved', 'dad', 'change', 'fresh', 'start', 'sibling', 'get', 'better', 'mum', 'still', 'close', 'ive', 'friend', 'year', 'contemplate', 'suicide', 'daily', 'stopped', 'cutting', 'hard', 'dont', 'get', 'pleasure', 'thing', 'anymore', 'never', 'energy', 'anything', 'dad', 'know', 'want', 'get', 'counselling', 'anti', 'depressant', 'suicide', 'also', 'run', 'family', 'dad', 'attempted', 'uncle', 'twice', 'auntie', 'three', 'time', 'well', 'cousin', 'self', 'harming', 'really', 'depressed', 'year', 'many', 'time', 'ive', 'close', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'want', 'thing', 'change', 'feel', 'like', 'never', 'ive', 'given', 'confusing', 'get', 'bullied', 'school', 'told', 'kill', 'time', 'get', 'high', 'school', 'relationship', 'pointless', 'mean', 'nothing', 'would', 'nice', 'one', 'form', 'asked', 'mainly', 'everyone', 'hate', 'sorryi', 'amrambling', 'dont', 'know']
140
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82
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265
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103
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153
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228
['mg', 'acetaminophen', 'currently', 'mg', 'acetaminophen', 'could', 'probably', 'get', 'hand', 'true', 'could', 'take', 'age', 'kill', 'want', 'something', 'quick']
17
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134
['sorryi', 'going', 'tonight', 'one', 'hour', 'ive', 'come', 'see', 'maybe', 'someone', 'would', 'able', 'talk', 'dont', 'think', 'hope', 'truth', 'isi', 'amscared', 'dont', 'want', 'way', 'least', 'thats', 'demon', 'tell', 'life', 'ha', 'gone', 'shiti', 'worthless', 'nobody', 'care']
33
['monday', 'think', 'monday', 'day', 'seen', 'parent', 'grandparent', 'gotten', 'chance', 'say', 'goodbye', 'dont', 'reason', 'stay', 'problem', 'figure', 'dont', 'want', 'anyone', 'clean', 'behind']
21
['best', 'country', 'commit', 'suicide', 'none', 'please', 'dont', 'want', 'die']
9
['wubba', 'lubba', 'dub', 'dub', 'little', 'bit', 'background', 'timeline', 'ive', 'anxiety', 'issue', 'forever', 'elementary', 'school', 'extreme', 'separation', 'anxiety', 'wa', 'brushed', 'clingy', 'kid', 'fourth', 'grade', 'fourth', 'grade', 'anxiety', 'hit', 'time', 'record', 'missed', 'shit', 'ton', 'school', 'eventually', 'sent', 'letter', 'home', 'complaining', 'started', 'therapy', 'wa', 'prescribed', 'zoloft', 'believe', 'first', 'semisuicidal', 'thought', 'fourth', 'grade', 'remember', 'clearly', 'wasnt', 'anymore', 'fifth', 'grade', 'moved', 'year', 'wa', 'okay', 'anxiety', 'stayed', 'strong', 'year', 'became', 'severely', 'depressed', 'started', 'self', 'harming', 'lasted', 'year', 'basically', 'middle', 'school', 'sucked', 'nowi', 'ama', 'high', 'school', 'student', 'thing', 'bad', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'feel', 'ive', 'tried', 'everything', 'much', 'medicine', 'hour', 'therapy', 'breathing', 'exercise', 'meditation', 'nothing', 'help', 'also', 'school', 'cannot', 'handle', 'stress', 'make', 'everything', 'much', 'worse', 'whenever', 'mention', 'homeschool', 'something', 'like', 'mom', 'get', 'pissed', 'yell', 'worse', 'know', 'work', 'year', 'literally', 'didnt', 'show', 'last', 'semester', 'school', 'due', 'surgery', 'passed', 'honor', 'youve', 'made', 'far', 'thank', 'anyone', 'ha', 'idea', 'coping', 'mechanism', 'would', 'love', 'foreveri', 'amhonestly', 'lost', 'right', 'suicide', 'tempting']
147
['go', 'back', 'med', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'year', 'reason', 'everyone', 'would', 'consider', 'good', 'life', 'great', 'even', 'severe', 'anxiety', 'depresssion', 'started', 'wa', 'young', 'ive', 'kind', 'med', 'since', 'wa', 'go', 'finally', 'may', 'decided', 'wa', 'tired', 'feeling', 'numb', 'emotionless', 'got', 'everything', 'last', 'week', 'terrible', 'ive', 'thought', 'much', 'death', 'called', 'doctor', 'asked', 'put', 'back', 'medsi', 'dissapointed', 'hope', 'cut', 'anxiety', 'depression']
55
['even', 'bother', 'dealt', 'abuse', 'year', 'dont', 'get', 'wont', 'chance', 'transitioning', 'healthily', 'adulthood', 'ive', 'asked', 'many', 'people', 'place', 'stay', 'escape', 'noone', 'financially', 'able', 'help', 'mei', 'amcontemplating', 'killing', 'point']
27
['one', 'ever', 'want', 'person', 'ever', 'really', 'gave', 'shit', 'stopped', 'responding', 'plea', 'help', 'next', 'time', 'get', 'see', 'person', 'help', 'isnt', 'day', 'doubt', 'make', 'tomorrow']
23
['life', 'keep', 'getting', 'worse', 'ive', 'annoyed', 'everyone', 'wanting', 'talk', 'amcompletely', 'alone', 'worth', 'anythingi', 'going', 'drive', 'probably', 'crash', 'car', 'thanks', 'letting', 'vent', 'year', 'one', 'ha', 'deal', 'anymore', 'hey', 'subscribed', 'sub', 'mustve', 'thought', 'maybe', 'someone', 'care', 'maybe', 'someone', 'say', 'something', 'miracle', 'epiphany', 'get', 'advice', 'lifetime', 'something', 'along', 'line', 'people', 'subscribed', 'sub', 'provide', 'exactly', 'though', 'sometimes', 'looking', 'front', 'u', 'dont', 'process', 'used', 'getting', 'nowhere', 'believe', 'nothingness', 'subscribed', 'sub', 'must', 'know', 'despite', 'may', 'feel', 'people', 'care', 'word', 'spoken', 'experienced', 'people', 'take', 'time', 'day', 'make', 'sure', 'youre', 'ok', 'want', 'ok', 'getting', 'signed', 'probably', 'dont', 'realize', 'yet', 'time', 'realize', 'people', 'care', 'reply', 'one', 'message', 'help', 'best', 'ability', 'priority']
102
['long', 'would', 'take', 'starve', 'death', 'food', 'water', 'long', 'amhomeless', 'never', 'job', 'qualification', 'money', 'family']
14
['today', 'really', 'feel', 'like', 'never', 'get', 'better', 'posted', 'never', 'replied', 'anyone', 'read', 'thing', 'people', 'said', 'also', 'managed', 'work', 'courage', 'speak', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'particular', 'resource', 'longer', 'available', 'mefor', 'little', 'back', 'ground', 'wa', 'born', 'ultra', 'conservative', 'christian', 'family', 'knew', 'young', 'age', 'wa', 'different', 'actually', 'never', 'swayed', 'conservative', 'view', 'well', 'see', 'transgender', 'know', 'never', 'asked', 'trans', 'kill', 'family', 'would', 'easily', 'toss', 'aside', 'like', 'never', 'meant', 'anything', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'moving', 'forward', 'mean', 'feeling', 'like', 'every', 'day']
74
['lied', 'two', 'week', 'ago', 'wa', 'ready', 'give', 'myselfi', 'sure', 'decided', 'talk', 'friend', 'see', 'wa', 'asked', 'wa', 'told', 'situation', 'suggested', 'see', 'therapist', 'least', 'tell', 'family', 'first', 'week', 'class', 'started', 'feel', 'wear', 'throughout', 'day', 'decided', 'tell', 'brother', 'promised', 'would', 'call', 'psychiatric', 'department', 'hospital', 'see', 'could', 'get', 'appointment', 'available', 'wa', 'school', 'hour', 'decided', 'lady', 'talked', 'wa', 'real', 'nice', 'told', 'call', 'morning', 'want', 'appointment', 'see', 'wa', 'free', 'day', 'never', 'called', 'backi', 'guess', 'since', 'always', 'kinda', 'like', 'always', 'something', 'ive', 'getting', 'worse', 'barely', 'sleep', 'every', 'day', 'seems', 'le', 'le', 'good', 'idea', 'call', 'happens', 'take', 'medication', 'different', 'different', 'feel', 'every', 'day', 'mind', 'right', 'hard', 'remember', 'stuff', 'dont', 'know', 'like', 'would', 'want', 'barely', 'drive', 'finish', 'high', 'schooli', 'sure', 'part', 'would', 'better', 'suited', 'cant', 'tell', 'like', 'one', 'person', 'mind', 'trying', 'cling', 'onto', 'anything', 'make', 'smile']
127
['depression', 'coming', 'back', 'ive', 'always', 'suicidal', 'part', 'since', 'wa', 'kid', 'tried', 'twice', 'time', 'sister', 'entered', 'room', 'time', 'went', 'tell', 'mother', 'lost', 'called', 'pro', 'arei', 'great', 'relationship', 'likely', 'end', 'year', 'nothing', 'happensthe', 'worst', 'part', 'kind', 'depression', 'suffer', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'way', 'exact', 'feeling', 'wa', 'early', 'teen', 'feeling', 'complete', 'loneliness', 'even', 'thoughi', 'lonely', 'gf', 'two', 'kidsis', 'feeling', 'knowing', 'anything', 'done', 'kill', 'painthis', 'feeling', 'one', 'ever', 'made', 'consider', 'finishing', 'antidote', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'pretty', 'impossible', 'find', 'solution', 'unless', 'final']
76
['going', 'suicide', 'dont', 'know', 'thing', 'ive', 'discussing', 'hell', 'even', 'long', 'distance', 'friend', 'personally', 'think', 'regard', 'life', 'whatsoeveri', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'amon', 'side', 'guy', 'way', 'sensitive', 'anything', 'alli', 'amweak', 'short', 'ugly', 'thin', 'unhealthy', 'physically', 'mentally', 'certainly', 'feel', 'loved', 'cared', 'thus', 'matter', 'anyone', 'ive', 'planned', 'everything', 'fari', 'december', 'special', 'occasion', 'well', 'maybei', 'amjust', 'hoping', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'time', 'help', 'feeling', 'sharingcontacting', 'people', 'least', 'day', 'come', 'thing', 'holding', 'back', 'family', 'kid', 'end', 'finding', 'corpse', 'playing', 'wood', 'seek', 'harm', 'toward', 'othersthank', 'reading', 'till', 'end', 'matter', 'anyhow']
82
['agoraphobia', 'havent', 'house', 'week', 'morning', 'took', 'extra', 'xanax', 'made', 'small', 'grocery', 'store', 'sweated', 'cried', 'entire', 'trip', 'shirt', 'wa', 'drenched', 'cashier', 'looked', 'like', 'wa', 'nervous', 'breakdown', 'least', 'finally', 'got', 'little', 'food', 'home', 'wa', 'gone', 'minute', 'felt', 'like', 'week']
37
['wrote', 'note', 'cant', 'see', 'point', 'going', 'cant', 'live', 'solely', 'sake', 'others', 'anymore', 'tried', 'cutting', 'blade', 'wa', 'dull', 'ask', 'help', 'make', 'thing', 'worse', 'cant', 'afford', 'psych', 'ward', 'billi', 'amdone']
28
['life', 'objectively', 'great', 'suicide', 'seems', 'like', 'appealing', 'option', 'laundry', 'list', 'reason', 'whyi', 'amdrawn', 'feel', 'broken', 'bored', 'alone', 'etc', 'list', 'constantly', 'morphing', 'perusing', 'subreddit', 'day', 'feel', 'like', 'yall', 'would', 'understand', 'could', 'expound', 'would', 'require', 'entire', 'essay', 'first', 'post', 'gentle', 'etc', 'try', 'keep', 'short', 'give', 'context', 'hate', 'admitting', 'fickle', 'depression', 'stem', 'part', 'woman', 'ive', 'loved', 'life', 'losing', 'almost', 'entirely', 'due', 'nature', 'exacerbated', 'mind', 'wanders', 'either', 'randomly', 'via', 'reminder', 'eg', 'snapchat', 'story', 'labor', 'day', 'weekend', 'ldw', 'elaborate', 'anyone', 'care', 'really', 'looking', 'anyone', 'care', 'space', 'babble', 'current', 'feeling', 'fleshing', 'thought', 'ha', 'always', 'therapeutic', 'extent', 'reading', 'subreddit', 'ha', 'made', 'realize', 'perhaps', 'therapeutic', 'solidarity', 'sort', 'wayand', 'honestly', 'vague', 'sense', 'solidarity', 'ha', 'getting', 'tonighti', 'ama', 'medical', 'student', 'currently', 'hour', 'surgery', 'call', 'virtue', 'medical', 'school', 'alone', 'realize', 'incredibly', 'fortunate', 'piece', 'whole', 'life', 'objectively', 'great', 'feel', 'absolutely', 'amazing', 'get', 'involved', 'patient', 'care', 'almost', 'like', 'drug', 'like', 'drug', 'withdrawal', 'bitch', 'every', 'weeknight', 'go', 'back', 'home', 'curl', 'bed', 'alone', 'finding', 'solace', 'mentally', 'orchestrating', 'death', 'fall', 'asleep', 'right', 'nowi', 'weird', 'place', 'slow', 'ldw', 'saturday', 'hospital', 'really', 'needed', 'anywhere', 'havent', 'done', 'anything', 'couple', 'hour', 'mind', 'starting', 'wander', 'usual', 'dark', 'place', 'time', 'happening', 'one', 'safe', 'idea', 'getting', 'medical', 'school', 'devote', 'life', 'patient', 'care', 'one', 'reason', 'persist', 'lose', 'sanctuary', 'get', 'tainted', 'misaligned', 'maladaptive', 'thought', 'left']
200
['get', 'help', 'friend', 'without', 'seeming', 'like', 'complete', 'jackass', 'diagnosed', 'borderline', 'personality', 'disorder', 'splitting', 'really', 'hard', 'recently', 'people', 'either', 'friend', 'hate', 'either', 'full', 'confidence', 'hope', 'fine', 'time', 'want', 'kill', 'tanking', 'low', 'fast', 'suddenly', 'feeling', 'like', 'massive', 'shitheap', 'worthless', 'personi', 'living', 'friend', 'currently', 'theyre', 'much', 'like', 'close', 'family', 'friend', 'love', 'bicker', 'lot', 'weve', 'lot', 'forgiving', 'daytoday', 'always', 'finding', 'fault', 'among', 'others', 'say', 'way', 'mean', 'bad', 'people', 'expect', 'better', 'others', 'among', 'u', 'quick', 'admit', 'flaw', 'wellthe', 'problem', 'lately', 'ha', 'severely', 'depressed', 'outside', 'circumstance', 'err', 'almost', 'murdered', 'nowex', 'petty', 'bickering', 'always', 'leaf', 'feeling', 'like', 'right', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'two', 'hour', 'ago', 'thanking', 'responding', 'kid', 'danger', 'fact', 'theyre', 'chiding', 'whatever', 'extremely', 'upsetting', 'sheer', 'level', 'upset', 'make', 'want', 'hurt', 'punch', 'head', 'usually', 'stupid', 'impulse', 'make', 'angry', 'enough', 'want', 'kill', 'get', 'stuck', 'loop', 'angry', 'oversensitive', 'overdramatic', 'something', 'stupidi', 'need', 'help', 'even', 'sure', 'anyone', 'help', 'dont', 'know', 'ask', 'without', 'seeming', 'like', 'total', 'attentionseeking', 'even', 'response', 'like', 'help', 'amlike', 'dont', 'know', 'amback', 'looking', 'like', 'assi', 'prideful', 'know', 'already', 'kind', 'feel', 'crappy', 'putting', 'feel', 'crappier', 'minute', 'even', 'feel', 'better', 'later', 'dont', 'know', 'awful', 'loop', 'back', 'around', 'suck', 'much', 'want', 'kill', 'feeling', 'something', 'objectively', 'shouldnt', 'hardi', 'imagine', 'killing', 'many', 'way', 'dont', 'know', 'could', 'go', 'pain', 'enduring', 'basic', 'everyday', 'scenario', 'becoming', 'excruciating', 'feel', 'likei', 'amgetting', 'worse', 'rather', 'better', 'matter', 'try', 'turn', 'aroundi', 'sought', 'professional', 'help', 'recommended', 'dbt', 'take', 'time', 'get', 'right', 'every', 'day', 'getting', 'worseany', 'advice']
223
['wish', 'could', 'go', 'somewhere', 'put', 'like', 'dogi', 'amonly', 'alive', 'lack', 'courage', 'dont', 'see', 'hope', 'contacted', 'undid', 'little', 'progress', 'made', 'could', 'absolve', 'guilt', 'done', 'left', 'wallow', 'suffering', 'alone', 'live', 'life', 'doesnt', 'deal', 'done', 'said', 'wa', 'sorry', 'feel', 'like', 'wa', 'truly', 'worried', 'hurting', 'would', 'left', 'alone', 'nowi', 'amhurt', 'doesnt', 'care', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'really', 'mean', 'wonder', 'actually', 'enjoys', 'didnt', 'anything', 'wanted', 'wa', 'love', 'wanted', 'love', 'back', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'finally', 'peace', 'nothing', 'good', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'another', 'plus', 'year', 'please', 'put', 'abused', 'dog', 'cant', 'rehabilitated', 'wont', 'abused', 'people', 'place', 'world', 'except', 'shit', 'life', 'ha', 'shown', 'thati', 'ugly', 'woman', 'one', 'want', 'ugly', 'woman', 'anything', 'chew', 'toy', 'want', 'ugly', 'face', 'rot', 'away', 'gone', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'please', 'kill']
116
['everyday', 'life', 'get', 'worse', 'life', 'get', 'worse', 'everyday', 'everything', 'try', 'doesnt', 'make', 'anything', 'better', 'cant', 'anything', 'right', 'shit', 'life', 'hemorrhaging', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'stay', 'strong', 'ive', 'tried', 'kill', 'year', 'ago', 'swore', 'id', 'never', 'try', 'amas', 'close', 'ive', 'ever', 'one', 'friend', 'cant', 'talk', 'theyll', 'parent', 'intervene', 'make', 'thing', 'worse', 'want', 'die']
51
['answer', 'nothing', 'fix', 'people', 'like', 'werent', 'meant', 'life', 'person', 'ever', 'feel', 'empty', 'much', 'pain', 'time', 'experience', 'isnt', 'even', 'unique', 'many', 'people', 'pain', 'dont', 'deserve', 'life', 'filled', 'good', 'people', 'suffer', 'terrible', 'people', 'thrive', 'everyone', 'lucky', 'life', 'everyone', 'meant', 'survive', 'u', 'meant', 'selected', 'u', 'werent', 'equipped', 'deal', 'tragedy', 'world', 'cant', 'function', 'anymore', 'saturday', 'amthinking', 'death']
53
['closest', 'long', 'time', 'frightening', 'freeing', 'people', 'think', 'getting', 'better', 'know', 'thing', 'say', 'act', 'show', 'enough', 'real', 'make', 'think', 'see', 'allbut', 'dont', 'even', 'realize', 'much', 'hiding', 'hiding', 'well', 'night', 'like', 'tonight', 'nobody', 'ever', 'know', 'truth', 'close', 'came', 'tonight', 'know', 'lot', 'med', 'couple', 'hour', 'ago', 'know', 'one', 'kill', 'one', 'really', 'mess', 'telling', 'anyone', 'dont', 'need', 'know', 'need', 'plan', 'later', 'tonight', 'tomorrow', 'next', 'week', 'cant', 'taken', 'away', 'scare', 'tightly', 'holding', 'cant', 'let', 'go']
70
['people', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'family', 'react', 'also', 'anything', 'change']
8
['going', 'end', 'life', 'simply', 'tired', 'suffering', 'depressioni', 'year', 'old', 'lonig', 'life', 'time', 'end', 'life']
14
['never', 'normali', 'emotionally', 'stunted', 'excuse', 'adult', 'twentyfive', 'dont', 'know', 'forge', 'relationship', 'wasnt', 'allowed', 'go', 'anywhere', 'friend', 'growing', 'dont', 'bother', 'got', 'screamed', 'cursed', 'whenever', 'didnt', 'excel', 'something', 'even', 'slightest', 'criticism', 'sends', 'spiraling', 'panic', 'wa', 'ever', 'good', 'school', 'thats', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'function', 'real', 'world', 'wish', 'strength', 'say', 'screw', 'rise', 'come', 'side', 'dont', 'never', 'normali', 'amthe', 'sum', 'thing', 'done', 'thing', 'change', 'right', 'wrongim', 'spiteful', 'bitter', 'person', 'always', 'spiteful', 'bitter', 'person', 'today', 'instigated', 'huge', 'fight', 'roommate', 'nothing', 'feel', 'becoming', 'kind', 'person', 'parent', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'ifi', 'amthe', 'bad', 'guy']
88
['life', 'ha', 'lost', 'meaning', 'ive', 'lost', 'hope', 'living', 'finding', 'happiness', 'ive', 'lost', 'live', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'feel', 'likei', 'ama', 'waste', 'life', 'kill', 'everyone', 'school', 'treat', 'like', 'shit', 'even', 'though', 'try', 'nice', 'anybody', 'everyone', 'thinksi', 'amgay', 'even', 'thoughi', 'constantly', 'call', 'fg', 'pussy', 'always', 'say', 'thati', 'ama', 'piece', 'shit', 'therapist', 'ha', 'telling', 'separate', 'keep', 'persisting', 'telling', 'thing', 'make', 'girlfriend', 'cry', 'time', 'call', 'pussy', 'talking', 'feeling', 'feel', 'like', 'outcast', 'nobody', 'ever', 'understand', 'struggle', 'ive', 'mentally', 'physically', 'abused', 'step', 'mom', 'past', 'year', 'run', 'mile', 'home', 'get', 'picked', 'bc', 'wa', 'abusing', 'abuse', 'dad', 'still', 'wont', 'leave', 'havent', 'seen', 'dad', 'month', 'made', 'zero', 'effort', 'come', 'visit', 'see', 'last', 'time', 'saw', 'wa', 'got', 'mental', 'hospital', 'trying', 'kill', 'cutting', 'like', 'crazy', 'act', 'like', 'doesnt', 'care', 'never', 'call', 'text', 'ive', 'good', 'school', 'sport', 'lately', 'everybody', 'continues', 'tear', 'girlfriend', 'mom', 'wont', 'let', 'u', 'together', 'bc', 'doesnt', 'know', 'thati', 'amolder', 'want', 'fall', 'back', 'old', 'habit', 'cut', 'cant', 'anymore', 'cant', 'take', 'suffering', 'anymore', 'ive', 'depression', 'since', 'wa', 'almost', 'ten', 'year', 'gotten', 'worse', 'worse', 'dad', 'left', 'wa', 'watched', 'mom', 'almost', 'die', 'wa', 'ive', 'separated', 'family', 'since', 'wa', 'abuse', 'depression', 'med', 'cut', 'blade', 'sini', 'much', 'pain', 'want', 'rest', 'foot', 'deepi', 'going', 'suffer', 'anymore', 'cant', 'anymore']
191
['hate', 'kid', 'family', 'best', 'friend', 'going', 'life', 'even', 'feel', 'behind', 'late', 'work', 'towards', 'something', 'life', 'isnt', 'race', 'feeling', 'jealously', 'tell', 'u', 'someone', 'ha', 'something', 'wed', 'like', 'doe', 'seeing', 'make', 'want', 'something', 'life']
32
['anhedonia', 'going', 'like', 'rest', 'life', 'point', 'hotlines', 'dont', 'anything', 'reasoni', 'still', 'dont', 'mean', 'properly', 'worth', 'hospital', 'bill', 'inevitably', 'fail', 'fucking', 'point', 'anymore', 'one', 'give', 'shit', 'anymore', 'ive', 'worn', 'welcome', 'friend', 'tell', 'talk', 'professional', 'instead', 'theyre', 'tired', 'hearing', 'whine', 'inane', 'fucking', 'problem', 'professional', 'want', 'hospitalized', 'cant', 'fucking', 'afford', 'hospitalized', 'one', 'care', 'one', 'care', 'anymorei', 'still', 'fucking', 'drowning', 'nothing', 'doi', 'amfucking', 'done', 'dont', 'know']
62
['immediatei', 'amsitting', 'top', 'scaffolding', 'floor', 'high', 'idk', 'want', 'die', 'badly', 'thing', 'keeping', 'vanishingi', 'amloosing', 'thing', 'keeping', 'friend', 'asleep', 'nobody']
19
['want', 'help', 'cant', 'ive', 'talked', 'therapist', 'several', 'fact', 'managed', 'make', 'feel', 'worse', 'cant', 'see', 'psychologist', 'nearest', 'take', 'insurance', 'hour', 'dive', 'hour', 'round', 'trip', 'dont', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'talking', 'doctor', 'one', 'seen', 'havent', 'able', 'address', 'physical', 'issue', 'highly', 'doubtful', 'ability', 'address', 'mental', 'concern', 'dont', 'family', 'trust', 'abusive', 'close', 'family', 'abusive', 'dont', 'friend', 'talk', 'ive', 'tried', 'one', 'told', 'life', 'worth', 'rain', 'kind', 'shit', 'isnt', 'helpful', 'feel', 'trapped', 'like', 'way', 'suicide']
67
['feel', 'likei', 'amabout', 'lose', 'important', 'person', 'life', 'already', 'edge', 'ive', 'dealt', 'cutting', 'suicide', 'past', 'feel', 'like', 'back', 'except', 'thinki', 'amabout', 'lose', 'important', 'person', 'life', 'wa', 'already', 'edge', 'ending', 'feel', 'helpless', 'chest', 'ever', 'feel', 'empty', 'nothing', 'keeping', 'situation']
37
['dont', 'want', 'keep', 'going', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'keep', 'going', 'ive', 'bed', 'day', 'many', 'problem', 'cant', 'cant', 'get', 'ive', 'cut', 'really', 'bad', 'last', 'couple', 'day', 'think', 'got', 'limit', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'life', 'cant', 'keep', 'cant', 'even', 'get', 'bed', 'stuff', 'ha', 'get', 'done', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whyi', 'amwriting', 'probably', 'slice', 'leg', 'open', 'forget', 'problem', 'sink', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'try', 'anymore', 'feel', 'useless', 'really', 'feel', 'useless', 'everything', 'feel', 'bad', 'ive', 'planned', 'suicide', 'need', 'want', 'cant', 'dont', 'even', 'like', 'life', 'dont', 'shoot', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whyi', 'amwriting', 'doubt', 'anyone', 'care', 'feel', 'worse', 'post', 'want', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'keep', 'going', 'like', 'cant']
101
['feel', 'like', 'never', 'escape', 'ive', 'suffered', 'major', 'depression', 'social', 'anxiety', 'adhd', 'year', 'multiple', 'time', 'planned', 'tried', 'kill', 'two', 'day', 'ago', 'name', 'life', 'ha', 'technically', 'improved', 'got', 'married', 'june', 'dont', 'kid', 'yet', 'cat', 'consider', 'child', 'love', 'muchi', 'going', 'college', 'careeri', 'ampassionate', 'music', 'education', 'think', 'life', 'technically', 'fulfilling', 'still', 'want', 'die', 'ever', 'since', 'chris', 'cornell', 'chester', 'bennington', 'died', 'year', 'ha', 'made', 'wonder', 'guy', 'family', 'successful', 'career', 'even', 'couldnt', 'escape', 'depression', 'made', 'realize', 'never', 'able', 'escape', 'tendency', 'matter', 'great', 'life', 'thats', 'fucking', 'terrifying', 'ive', 'dealt', 'depression', 'suicidal', 'feeling', 'year', 'still', 'havent', 'escaped', 'dont', 'wanna', 'get', 'deep', 'family', 'ifi', 'amjust', 'gonna', 'kill', 'eventually', 'might', 'well', 'back', 'life']
103
['back', 'back', 'morning', 'wa', 'upset', 'wa', 'reminiscent', 'day', 'actually', 'friend', 'tried', 'tell', 'told', 'stop', 'whining', 'something', 'stupid', 'ok', 'fine', 'maybe', 'wa', 'stupid', 'got', 'threatening', 'text', 'saying', 'stuff', 'go', 'make', 'friend', 'loser', 'effing', 'hate', 'youi', 'amgetting', 'close', 'calling', 'police', 'starting', 'believe', 'lie', 'want', 'disrupt', 'life', 'want', 'disrupt', 'life', 'answer', 'obviously', 'tried', 'calling', 'national', 'suicide', 'prevention', 'hotline', 'wa', 'hold', 'good', 'ten', 'minute', 'hung', 'maybe', 'go', 'police', 'point', 'done']
66
['fuck', 'childline', 'swear', 'fuck', 'made', 'angryyou', 'supposed', 'able', 'call', 'till', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'depressednow', 'really', 'deep', 'voice', 'sound', 'lot', 'older', 'theni', 'amactuallyi', 'tried', 'call', 'fucking', 'time', 'every', 'single', 'time', 'called', 'bullshit', 'age', 'suggested', 'hotlines', 'cant', 'fucking', 'help', 'sound', 'likei', 'god', 'damm']
40
['nothing', 'favor', 'dont', 'know', 'think', 'want', 'say', 'feeling', 'cant', 'get', 'girl', 'want', 'nobody', 'go', 'prom', 'lonely', 'hate', 'think', 'want', 'god']
20
['alone', 'ive', 'hopelessly', 'alone', 'whole', 'life', 'abusive', 'awful', 'parent', 'abusive', 'awful', 'spouseim', 'always', 'alone', 'sometimes', 'people', 'match', 'online', 'dating', 'platform', 'one', 'two', 'date', 'disappear', 'even', 'though', 'think', 'click', 'finei', 'amstarkly', 'unattractive', 'genuinely', 'unloveable', 'dont', 'really', 'friend', 'coworkers', 'see', 'maybe', 'twice', 'year', 'outside', 'work', 'exspouse', 'saw', 'idea', 'alienated', 'mutual', 'friendsive', 'always', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'lately', 'feel', 'lot', 'relaxed', 'instead', 'anxious', 'whenever', 'go', 'counsellor', 'talk', 'anyone', 'help', 'say', 'get', 'betteri', 'late', 'doe', 'get', 'better', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'like', 'ever', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'id', 'leave', 'suicide', 'note', 'people', 'even', 'leave', 'bother']
86
['amsitting', 'bed', 'pill', 'oxy', 'dont', 'know', 'havent', 'greatest', 'time', 'recently', 'bad', 'anxiety', 'thats', 'getting', 'worse', 'get', 'older', 'recently', 'found', 'thati', 'ambipolar', 'best', 'friend', 'killed', 'people', 'thought', 'friend', 'betrayed', 'parent', 'never', 'home', 'thing', 'used', 'fun', 'doings', 'arent', 'fun', 'anymore', 'yet', 'despite', 'thought', 'life', 'wa', 'looking', 'girlfriend', 'thought', 'loved', 'maybe', 'even', 'broke', 'telling', 'wa', 'faking', 'last', 'monthsive', 'never', 'felt', 'bad', 'ive', 'always', 'worked', 'even', 'went', 'therapist', 'ahead', 'year', 'school', 'friend', 'nothing', 'college', 'whats', 'point', 'dragging', 'existencei', 'dont', 'know', 'even', 'posted', 'maybei', 'amjust', 'looking', 'someone', 'throw', 'pity', 'party', 'ha', 'ha', 'amsitting', 'pill', 'hand', 'trying', 'work', 'courage', 'take', 'last', 'leap', 'cant', 'even', 'maybe', 'canjust', 'someone', 'please', 'convince', 'get', 'better', 'cant', 'fucking', 'deal', 'thisedit', 'alright', 'guy', 'sorry', 'going', 'crushed', 'pill', 'put', 'water', 'wrote', 'notei', 'amreal', 'scared', 'think', 'feel', 'better', 'minute', 'sorry']
126
['going', 'surgery', 'soon', 'maybe', 'better', 'dont', 'wake', 'upi', 'amthinking', 'rather', 'dead', 'chronic', 'pain', 'mistake', 'made', 'life', 'unfortunate', 'cant', 'take', 'really', 'much', 'physical', 'paini', 'dont', 'know', 'behave', 'think', 'people', 'busy', 'life', 'dont', 'see', 'adding', 'kind', 'value', 'life', 'friendship', 'weird', 'thing', 'mei', 'mean', 'havent', 'always', 'way', 'maybe', 'pretty', 'awesome', 'friend', 'youth', 'one', 'committed', 'suicide', 'isnt', 'interested', 'keeping', 'contact', 'remember', 'really', 'knowing', 'advance', 'friendship', 'vivid', 'dream', 'hate', 'choice', 'dont', 'know', 'life', 'bearable', 'course', 'pain', 'every', 'suffering', 'life', 'indifference', 'around', 'making', 'want', 'escape', 'problemsim', 'even', 'rambling', 'dont', 'believe', 'word', 'say', 'criticize', 'thought', 'point', 'come', 'conclusion', 'thati', 'ama', 'loser', 'antisocial', 'even', 'though', 'reasoning', 'may', 'right', 'make', 'want', 'crythere', 'way', 'change', 'world', 'far', 'late', 'change', 'anything', 'world', 'simply', 'everyone', 'selfish', 'kill', 'everything', 'everyone']
117
['suicidal', 'ideation', 'afteri', 'let', 'start', 'saying', 'ive', 'depressed', 'year', 'currently', 'zoloft', 'junk', 'ive', 'better', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'die', 'yet', 'however', 'cant', 'help', 'think', 'kill', 'decade', 'linei', 'ama', 'freshman', 'amplanning', 'dream', 'job', 'life', 'none', 'fancy', 'however', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'achieved', 'thing', 'experienced', 'happiness', 'time', 'kill', 'knowing', 'pushed', 'past', 'high', 'school', 'life', 'bullshit', 'worthy', 'reward', 'game', 'kind', 'scare', 'think', 'way', 'dont', 'know', 'stop', 'future', 'problem', 'guess', 'dont', 'know', 'overwhelming', 'even', 'wheni', 'better', 'see', 'one', 'way', 'way', 'darkest', 'moment']
76
['every', 'weeki', 'amback', 'started', 'semester', 'thinking', 'everything', 'would', 'ok', 'applied', 'job', 'hit', 'one', 'little', 'roadblock', 'class', 'make', 'rash', 'decision', 'drop', 'iti', 'ama', 'pathetic', 'loser', 'couldnt', 'even', 'finish', 'first', 'assignment', 'class', 'want', 'drop', 'every', 'classi', 'amtaking', 'fuck', 'done', 'wayi', 'going', 'interview', 'anymore', 'either', 'least', 'courage', 'cut', 'first', 'time', 'tonight', 'thats', 'plus', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'helli', 'ambothering', 'posting', 'nobody', 'ever', 'bother', 'help', 'anything']
61
['cant', 'make', 'change', 'people', 'always', 'evil', 'reason', 'realize', 'cant', 'make', 'change', 'world', 'always', 'gonna', 'stay', 'evil', 'lose', 'motivation', 'work', 'advance', 'life', 'whats', 'pointi', 'depressed', 'thought', 'come', 'sometimes', 'give', 'suicidal', 'urge', 'feeling', 'advice']
32
['ramblingi', 'good', 'writing', 'soi', 'cant', 'even', 'tell', 'whati', 'attention', 'anymore', 'everything', 'feel', 'likei', 'amgrasping', 'straw', 'think', 'depression', 'wa', 'coo', 'thing', 'fucking', 'lied', 'said', 'every', 'night', 'go', 'sleep', 'feeling', 'shitty', 'wanting', 'die', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'depression', 'every', 'morning', 'wake', 'nothing', 'dont', 'energy', 'hang', 'friend', 'literally', 'sit', 'home', 'play', 'video', 'game', 'everyday', 'alsoi', 'amto', 'fucking', 'young', 'tell', 'depression', 'nothing', 'even', 'solidified', 'yet', 'fucking', 'depression', 'even', 'put', 'high', 'school', 'also', 'fucking', 'selfish', 'need', 'different', 'special', 'fuck', 'wrong', 'hooked', 'two', 'guy', 'nowi', 'ampoly', 'sexual', 'like', 'wa', 'cool', 'thing', 'barely', 'even', 'sexual', 'thought', 'either', 'gender', 'get', 'porn', 'girl', 'started', 'gay', 'cool', 'thing', 'provably', 'convinced', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'diei', 'amterrified', 'dying', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'exist', 'either', 'like', 'want', 'live', 'hat', 'like', 'something', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'magnifying', 'something', 'concrete', 'sorry', 'even', 'posting', 'herei', 'gonna', 'kill', 'anytime', 'soon', 'didnt', 'even', 'say', 'anything', 'interesting', 'anythingi', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'dont', 'even', 'know']
140
['dont', 'exactly', 'want', 'die', 'really', 'bothered', 'living', 'either', 'ive', 'getting', 'healthy', 'taking', 'med', 'almost', 'every', 'day', 'found', 'right', 'combo', 'medication', 'seeing', 'therapist', 'etc', 'usual', 'tonight', 'cant', 'seem', 'find', 'job', 'one', 'desperately', 'want', 'know', 'wont', 'get', 'havent', 'got', 'single', 'penny', 'name', 'feel', 'useless', 'without', 'direction', 'wtf', 'life', 'mention', 'fact', 'ive', 'gained', 'lb', 'cant', 'seem', 'shed', 'matter', 'ive', 'got', 'little', 'bit', 'klonopin', 'prescribed', 'thats', 'left', 'never', 'wanted', 'abuse', 'ive', 'close', 'call', 'cant', 'help', 'love', 'numbness', 'give', 'ive', 'taken', 'mg', 'currently', 'drinking', 'bottle', 'wine', 'hoping', 'husband', 'doesnt', 'find', 'moved', 'back', 'uk', 'mh', 'care', 'well', 'shitanyone', 'spot', 'doe', 'get', 'better', 'doe', 'anyone', 'even', 'know', 'want', 'life']
102
['dont', 'friend', 'never', 'becausei', 'amugly', 'boring', 'anxious', 'funny', 'interesting', 'nothing', 'good', 'likeablei', 'ama', 'fucking', 'failure', 'reject', 'one', 'give', 'shit', 'died', 'tomorrow', 'wouldnt', 'even', 'fucking', 'matter', 'people', 'see', 'look', 'ugly', 'piece', 'shit', 'get', 'know', 'mei', 'betteri', 'amjust', 'waste', 'space']
38
['struggling', 'first', 'bout', 'depression', 'back', 'grandpa', 'died', 'nearly', 'killed', 'back', 'choked', 'p', 'controller', 'wa', 'felt', 'like', 'nothing', 'left', 'bonded', 'cat', 'longest', 'time', 'wa', 'reason', 'kept', 'going', 'wa', 'like', 'brother', 'wa', 'nothing', 'wouldnt', 'done', 'died', 'age', 'wa', 'perfect', 'cat', 'sunk', 'claw', 'remember', 'month', 'died', 'strange', 'dream', 'outside', 'got', 'surrounded', 'gang', 'wasp', 'kept', 'stinging', 'away', 'chance', 'escape', 'brief', 'time', 'surrounded', 'came', 'barreling', 'back', 'used', 'body', 'shield', 'black', 'said', 'dream', 'find', 'passed', 'away', 'said', 'dream', 'woke', 'saw', 'laying', 'couch', 'hugged', 'kissed', 'told', 'much', 'loved', 'died', 'month', 'later', 'july', 'nd', 'wa', 'put', 'found', 'got', 'work', 'could', 'wa', 'cry', 'went', 'one', 'people', 'life', 'cared', 'loved', 'anything', 'love', 'parent', 'dont', 'relationship', 'rest', 'either', 'side', 'family', 'fast', 'forward', 'last', 'year', 'wa', 'desperate', 'lonely', 'started', 'paying', 'adult', 'entertainment', 'wa', 'like', 'wound', 'going', 'k', 'year', 'wa', 'lonely', 'still', 'thought', 'screw', 'might', 'well', 'enjoy', 'deserve', 'got', 'tired', 'working', 'getting', 'nowhere', 'decided', 'treat', 'erupted', 'huge', 'fight', 'parent', 'found', 'much', 'spent', 'lucky', 'still', 'roof', 'head', 'dad', 'tried', 'get', 'advice', 'somebody', 'work', 'deal', 'next', 'thing', 'know', 'spread', 'around', 'whole', 'plant', 'everyone', 'know', 'dirty', 'individual', 'issue', 'alcohol', 'issue', 'past', 'havent', 'drank', 'year', 'get', 'point', 'get', 'lonely', 'stressed', 'tried', 'talking', 'therapist', 'answer', 'well', 'would', 'go', 'meet', 'people', 'wouldnt', 'upset', 'kinda', 'hard', 'meet', 'people', 'stuck', 'working', 'meat', 'grinder', 'type', 'schedule', 'hour', 'day', 'week', 'trying', 'pay', 'getting', 'anywhere', 'debt', 'point', 'either', 'bankruptcy', 'ending', 'good', 'option', 'shame', 'embarrassment', 'caused', 'parent', 'year']
223
['thinki', 'going', 'kill', 'tonight', 'ive', 'fighting', 'suppressing', 'feeling', 'long', 'ive', 'turned', 'alcohol', 'drug', 'cope', 'le', 'numbs', 'mei', 'tired', 'want', 'end', 'cant', 'anymore', 'know', 'thati', 'amsmart', 'capable', 'every', 'time', 'wake', 'morning', 'get', 'harder', 'harder', 'wake', 'upi', 'amdone']
36
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64
['cant', 'like', 'bpd', 'anymore', 'mind', 'everything', 'dont', 'nothing', 'hurt', 'someone', 'else', 'nothing', 'care', 'cant', 'fucking', 'control', 'feel', 'swear', 'shouldnt', 'allowed', 'exist', 'anymorei', 'amletting', 'go']
24
['none', 'even', 'give', 'shit', 'youi', 'amdone']
6
['wish', 'would', 'die', 'wouldnt', 'kill', 'wish', 'excuse', 'die', 'wish', 'would', 'hit', 'driving', 'home', 'one', 'day', 'wish', 'would', 'get', 'mugged', 'shot', 'wish', 'id', 'get', 'hit', 'crossing', 'street', 'wish', 'cancer', 'know', 'selfish', 'fucked', 'even', 'think', 'thing', 'like', 'really', 'wish', 'way', 'die', 'without', 'killing', 'get', 'die', 'without', 'leaving', 'anyone', 'mad', 'family', 'doesnt', 'deserve', 'someone', 'fucking', 'pathetic', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'amhurting', 'much', 'one', 'know', 'one', 'care', 'friend', 'slowly', 'left', 'fucking', 'blame', 'wouldnt', 'friend', 'eitheri', 'terrified', 'lifei', 'terrified', 'trying', 'end', 'lifei', 'terrified', 'fucking', 'like', 'everything', 'elsei', 'tired', 'alonei', 'tired', 'pretend', 'everything', 'okayi', 'tired', 'fucking', 'loseri', 'tired', 'life']
92
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184
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138
['mental', 'break', 'going', 'happen', 'went', 'askreddit', 'thread', 'earlier', 'people', 'witnessing', 'mental', 'break', 'realized', 'halfway', 'thats', 'exactly', 'wherei', 'amheadingi', 'already', 'starting', 'knowi', 'going', 'hit', 'hard', 'finally', 'happens', 'give', 'year', 'top', 'lol']
30
['dying', 'xanax', 'death', 'young', 'scared']
5
['sometimes', 'think', 'ive', 'grieving', 'stage', 'every', 'problem', 'entire', 'life', 'first', 'idea', 'whether', 'wanted', 'kill', 'happened', 'wa', 'year', 'old', 'wanted', 'die', 'running', 'front', 'car', 'thought', 'wa', 'bad', 'person', 'id', 'get', 'worse', 'later', 'raised', 'mormon', 'returned', 'adolescence', 'suicide', 'wa', 'always', 'friend', 'wa', 'feeling', 'bad', 'point', 'first', 'attempt', 'year', 'every', 'time', 'bad', 'day', 'bad', 'week', 'even', 'bad', 'month', 'know', 'strong', 'bond', 'wa', 'like', 'ex', 'turned', 'stalker', 'afraid', 'ha', 'comfort', 'year', 'idea', 'much', 'life', 'ive', 'seen', 'comfort', 'think', 'around', 'year', 'time', 'ever', 'came', 'mind', 'dangerous', 'wa', 'first', 'attempt', 'point', 'idea', 'strong', 'urge', 'become', 'wa', 'found', 'neighbor', 'havent', 'checked', 'medical', 'record', 'yet', 'see', 'bad', 'wa', 'wa', 'cold', 'day', 'still', 'trying', 'hard', 'every', 'day', 'day', 'wish', 'could', 'flee', 'home', 'live', 'homeless', 'whatever', 'need', 'stay', 'alive', 'maybe', 'hunger', 'would', 'help', 'contemplate', 'hunger', 'need', 'would', 'fill', 'empty', 'void', 'feeling', 'body', 'needing', 'live', 'instead', 'dont', 'know', 'say', 'right', 'suicide', 'scare', 'hell', 'feel', 'like', 'maybe', 'life', 'isnt', 'choice', 'could', 'let', 'hungry', 'body', 'find', 'way', 'survive', 'instead', 'hurt', 'mindi', 'ambipolar', 'attempt', 'still', 'think', 'embarrasses', 'much', 'still', 'think', 'even', 'first', 'time']
169
['point', 'living', 'cannot', 'even', 'imagine', 'happiness', 'look', 'like', 'really', 'idea', 'happiness', 'look', 'like', 'future', 'much', 'say', 'want', 'relationship', 'know', 'exploited', 'one', 'care', 'someone', 'unless', 'something', 'know', 'relationship', 'path', 'hapiness', 'temporary', 'best', 'hobby', 'playing', 'computer', 'day', 'messed', 'back', 'go', 'chiropractor', 'get', 'reliefi', 'amafraid', 'even', 'previously', 'like', 'wa', 'stupid', 'wasting', 'time', 'anyway', 'one', 'take', 'serious', 'got', 'worthless', 'degree', 'suck', 'income', 'guess', 'year', 'wont', 'loan', 'anymore', 'extra', 'money', 'cant', 'buy', 'happiness', 'anyway', 'thought', 'happiness', 'would', 'playing', 'video', 'game', 'finding', 'someone', 'make', 'world', 'seem', 'like', 'decent', 'place', 'neither', 'help', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'living', 'wont', 'find', 'happiness']
92
['happens', 'call', 'emergency', 'room', 'psychiatrist', 'know', 'struggle', 'suicide', 'thought', 'especially', 'since', 'ive', 'already', 'attempted', 'kill', 'last', 'april', 'told', 'ever', 'felt', 'unsafe', 'would', 'harm', 'try', 'calling', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'emergency', 'room', 'wa', 'wondering', 'emergency', 'room', 'would', 'even', 'call', 'havent', 'felt', 'good', 'lately', 'thought', 'killing', 'thinking', 'calling', 'emergency', 'room', 'amafraid', 'might', 'last', 'time', 'wa', 'er', 'wa', 'attempt', 'watched', 'closely', 'bunch', 'needle', 'wa', 'put', 'psych', 'unit', 'week']
63
['deserve', 'die', 'wa', 'terrible', 'ex', 'happened', 'month', 'ago', 'dated', 'guy', 'month', 'lot', 'anger', 'problem', 'didnt', 'bring', 'best', 'ended', 'breaking', 'one', 'day', 'right', 'sexi', 'feel', 'like', 'terrible', 'person', 'took', 'advantage', 'someone', 'wa', 'afraid', 'break', 'partly', 'temper', 'partly', 'knew', 'would', 'crushed', 'id', 'tried', 'break', 'begged', 'told', 'wa', 'lonelyalso', 'previously', 'ex', 'restraining', 'order', 'threatened', 'broke', 'hed', 'cop', 'called', 'threatening', 'someone', 'else', 'wa', 'back', 'mindbut', 'still', 'nobody', 'deserves', 'broken', 'right', 'sex', 'knew', 'wa', 'going', 'end', 'wa', 'coward', 'idiot', 'waited', 'last', 'minute', 'kept', 'changing', 'mind', 'texted', 'later', 'say', 'felt', 'taken', 'advantage', 'apologized', 'still', 'feel', 'guilty', 'abusive', 'dont', 'deserve', 'happy', 'life']
95
['easiest', 'way', 'wa', 'thinking', 'drinking', 'many', 'liter', 'water', 'hopefully', 'die', 'overhydration', 'fail', 'dont', 'die', 'least', 'likely', 'cause', 'irreversible', 'damage', 'right', 'worst', 'happen', 'splitting', 'headache', 'righti', 'dont', 'know', 'easiest', 'way', 'end', 'would', 'want', 'pain', 'end']
34
['gathering', 'courage', 'need', 'courage']
4
['drama', 'drama', 'today', 'stood', 'highway', 'made', 'sure', 'wa', 'zone', 'blind', 'curve', 'made', 'sure', 'stand', 'front', 'gravel', 'patch', 'nobody', 'lost', 'control', 'trying', 'avoid', 'wa', 'almost', 'taken', 'truckcamper', 'combo', 'hatchback', 'civic', 'braked', 'swerved', 'one', 'asked', 'wa', 'okay', 'told', 'fuck', 'didi', 'read', 'post', 'becomes', 'tiring', 'everyone', 'feel', 'strongly', 'rant', 'rave', 'draw', 'spell', 'justify', 'compare', 'make', 'doublesided', 'selfdeprecating', 'comment', 'originally', 'designed', 'attract', 'pity', 'sympathy', 'whilst', 'simulataneously', 'claiming', 'notthen', 'response', 'youre', 'irreplaceable', 'youre', 'special', 'youre', 'loved', 'etc', 'etc', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'improve', 'youre', 'worthy', 'redeemedmaybe', 'yall', 'bunch', 'fucking', 'persistent', 'breed', 'unicorn', 'lemme', 'tell', 'ya', 'doesnti', 'amas', 'special', 'next', 'whackerkid', 'talent', 'whilst', 'wellhoned', 'cookie', 'cutter', 'shit', 'ive', 'used', 'validate', 'existence', 'many', 'year', 'intelligence', 'mistakenly', 'identified', 'obsessive', 'streak', 'developed', 'scare', 'people', 'criticizing', 'energy', 'unchecked', 'anxiety', 'disorder', 'treat', 'high', 'mg', 'dose', 'caffeine', 'assorted', 'amphetaminesmy', 'sweet', 'streak', 'isnt', 'enough', 'anybody', 'smart', 'isnt', 'enough', 'trust', 'humour', 'appreciated', 'pitypoint', 'dont', 'care', 'maybe', 'get', 'hit', 'car', 'maybe', 'die', 'car', 'accident', 'maybe', 'od', 'insulin', 'codeine', 'maybe', 'eat', 'parabellum', 'wont', 'well', 'see', 'doe', 'anyone', 'see', 'death', 'coming', 'last', 'time', 'tried', 'didnt', 'time', 'dont', 'either', 'doesnt', 'scare', 'realization', 'clarifying', 'act', 'much', 'work', 'remembers', 'hard', 'work', 'wa', 'done']
182
['amready', 'end', 'life', 'ha', 'falling', 'apart', 'month', 'sister', 'successful', 'best', 'friend', 'successful', 'life', 'trash', 'cant', 'hold', 'job', 'cant', 'hold', 'friend', 'hell', 'family', 'falling', 'aparti', 'money', 'shit', 'car', 'girlfriend', 'went', 'college', 'week', 'ago', 'decided', 'end', 'relationship', 'wasnt', 'working', 'matter', 'said', 'blew', 'everything', 'yesterday', 'dad', 'choked', 'ground', 'went', 'police', 'charge', 'werent', 'filed', 'mother', 'wouldnt', 'believe', 'word', 'said', 'family', 'friend', 'witnessed', 'completely', 'refuted', 'story', 'got', 'forced', 'homeevery', 'day', 'ha', 'something', 'else', 'fucking', 'cant', 'think', 'straight', 'cant', 'sleep', 'barely', 'eat', 'went', 'therapist', 'fuck', 'alli', 'amcrumblingi', 'amready', 'drive', 'self', 'brick', 'wall', 'never', 'look', 'back', 'dont', 'want', 'breathe', 'dont', 'want', 'talki', 'amready', 'end', 'way', 'accept', 'death', 'beg', 'plead', 'every', 'day', 'cant', 'go', 'like', 'anymore']
108
['fuck', 'alli', 'amout', 'fuck', 'wait', 'minute']
6
['deserve', 'thisi', 'ama', 'bad', 'person', 'deserve', 'feel', 'wayi', 'deserve', 'want', 'die']
11
['feel', 'like', 'wanting', 'live', 'anymore', 'right', 'make', 'cleari', 'going', 'commit', 'suicide', 'feel', 'like', 'wouldnt', 'mind', 'someone', 'else', 'shooting', 'headim', 'tenth', 'grader', 'life', 'amazing', 'basically', 'major', 'issue', 'life', 'life', 'family', 'member', 'everything', 'great', 'except', 'dont', 'get', 'enjoy', 'wear', 'cloak', 'depression', 'sadness', 'maybe', 'anxiety', 'time', 'happy', 'moment', 'feel', 'like', 'body', 'pretending', 'happy', 'partially', 'distract', 'sadness', 'cant', 'really', 'think', 'anything', 'else', 'say', 'advice', 'would', 'much', 'appreciated']
63
['going', 'quit', 'therapy', 'med', 'ive', 'tried', 'year', 'decided', 'life', 'isnt', 'mei', 'upset', 'anymorei', 'amoddly', 'relieved', 'first', 'time', 'feel', 'control', 'whatever', 'happens', 'next', 'dont', 'think', 'necessarily', 'suicide', 'note', 'want', 'get', 'feeling', 'dont', 'want', 'fight', 'life', 'anymore', 'simply', 'want', 'peace']
38
['lost', 'good', 'friend', 'going', 'back', 'live', 'parent', 'staying', 'friend', 'month', 'ha', 'supporting', 'first', 'time', 'family', 'house', 'live', 'year', 'another', 'state', 'sadly', 'many', 'disagreement', 'religious', 'view', 'politics', 'think', 'dont', 'want', 'help', 'dont', 'believe', 'god', 'cutting', 'told', 'delete', 'number', 'friend', 'year', 'one', 'people', 'stood', 'side', 'everything', 'kinda', 'blew', 'though', 'also', 'doesnt', 'wanna', 'around', 'negativity', 'mania', 'going', 'back', 'live', 'psycho', 'religious', 'cult', 'family', 'today', 'place', 'trauma', 'startedi', 'think', 'give', 'point', 'living', 'cant', 'feel', 'anything', 'constantly', 'feel', 'dysphoric', 'weak', 'fatigued', 'overall', 'shitty', 'getting', 'better', 'medication', 'doesnt', 'work', 'tried', 'making', 'gofundme', 'page', 'move', 'house', 'get', 'medical', 'help', 'didnt', 'get', 'single', 'donationi', 'fcking', 'give', 'dont', 'wana', 'family', 'hopefully', 'understandwhy', 'continue', 'living', 'want', 'cant', 'enjoy', 'anything']
109
['worth', 'living', 'save', 'feeling', 'one', 'person', 'care', 'reasoni', 'still', 'brother', 'left', 'college', 'genius', 'ha', 'great', 'life', 'ahead', 'going', 'great', 'engineeri', 'amworried', 'kill', 'week', 'college', 'screw', 'make', 'fuck', 'futurethe', 'thing', 'life', 'painful', 'enough', 'might', 'anyway']
34
['wake', 'see', 'sunrise', 'wa', 'sitting', 'starbucks', 'today', 'lunch', 'break', 'studying', 'almost', 'always', 'go', 'starbucks', 'lunch', 'break', 'usually', 'get', 'thing', 'vanilla', 'sweet', 'cream', 'cold', 'brew', 'usually', 'grande', 'time', 'got', 'venti', 'random', 'chick', 'come', 'asks', 'something', 'honestly', 'forget', 'wa', 'asking', 'heard', 'something', 'going', 'seattle', 'gave', 'little', 'sealed', 'envelope', 'x', 'written', 'tell', 'thanks', 'gesturing', 'would', 'open', 'read', 'later', 'insists', 'opening', 'cardi', 'amassuming', 'see', 'reaction', 'side', 'flap', 'little', 'smiley', 'face', 'drawn', 'blue', 'inside', 'blue', 'grey', 'card', 'word', 'thanks', 'written', 'bordered', 'gold', 'opened', 'card', 'written', 'inside', 'pen', 'highlighted', 'light', 'blue', 'nice', 'contrast', 'wake', 'see', 'sunrise', 'thought', 'knew', 'wa', 'waiting', 'smile', 'kind', 'bobbed', 'head', 'thought', 'ok', 'thought', 'thought', 'really', 'want', 'really', 'want', 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543
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34
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244
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33
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108
['dying', 'dying', 'dying', 'dying', 'scared', 'young']
6
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45
['teardrop', 'eternity', 'distilled', 'fall', 'slowlywaterfall', 'sadness', 'many', 'lifetime']
8
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85
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121
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11
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159
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89
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240
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109
['keep', 'making', 'mistake', 'time', 'cost', 'pet', 'life', 'feel', 'guilt', 'ive', 'never', 'felt', 'exactly', 'year', 'ago', 'girlfriend', 'got', 'kitten', 'street', 'sick', 'nursed', 'back', 'health', 'found', 'home', 'themwe', 'kept', 'became', 'inseparable', 'along', 'girlfriend', 'cat', 'dexter', 'wa', 'bigger', 'cat', 'since', 'little', 'therefore', 'one', 'wanted', 'grew', 'sweetest', 'cat', 'ive', 'ever', 'hadhe', 'wa', 'lb', 'never', 'ever', 'scratched', 'u', 'would', 'always', 'sleep', 'next', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'overall', 'sweet', 'gentle', 'big', 'catthe', 'thing', 'would', 'sometimes', 'breathe', 'weirdly', 'didnt', 'pay', 'much', 'attention', 'day', 'ago', 'became', 'took', 'vet', 'right', 'away', 'apparently', 'wa', 'sort', 'weird', 'bacteria', 'growing', 'close', 'lung', 'heartnow', 'dont', 'think', 'killed', 'girlfriend', 'think', 'wa', 'stressed', 'vet', 'didnt', 'wait', 'long', 'enough', 'calm', 'putting', 'syringe', 'take', 'liquid', 'end', 'died', 'right', 'hand', 'even', 'though', 'told', 'u', 'le', 'min', 'prior', 'would', 'okay', 'taken', 'hour', 'emergency', 'vet', 'died', 'stress', 'hand', 'cant', 'get', 'image', 'outi', 'cant', 'help', 'feel', 'like', 'failed', 'innocent', 'creature', 'whose', 'life', 'depended', 'lost', 'one', 'best', 'friend', 'car', 'accident', 'wa', 'driving', 'guy', 'crashed', 'u', 'brings', 'back', 'memory', 'cant', 'help', 'feel', 'like', 'keep', 'messing', 'life', 'little', 'cat', 'wa', 'beautiful', 'creature', 'know', 'might', 'sound', 'dramatic', 'youbut', 'feel', 'like', 'failure']
174
['want', 'die', 'cannot', 'feel', 'happiness', 'jealous', 'dead', 'one', 'care', 'dont', 'get', 'helpi', 'asked', 'thousand', 'upon', 'thousand', 'time', 'family', 'friend', 'asked', 'shrug', 'cricket', 'call', 'ever', 'need', 'talk', 'doi', 'amuh', 'sort', 'busy', 'every', 'timeno', 'job', 'social', 'life', 'life', 'much', 'pain', 'heart', 'hurt', 'literally', 'hurt', 'feel', 'like', 'rock', 'ha', 'headlock', 'hurt', 'much', 'cant', 'move', 'want', 'exercise', 'seriously', 'look', 'good', 'ive', 'stopped', 'eating', 'thats', 'ive', 'done', 'seriously', 'think', 'year', 'old', 'man', 'look', 'good', 'pound', 'doe', 'take', 'long', 'die', 'starvationi', 'amtaking', 'like', 'calorie', 'day', 'still', 'alive', 'whyno', 'one', 'care', 'know', 'ive', 'diagnosed', 'depression', 'schizophrenia', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'yet', 'get', 'pissed', 'dont', 'play', 'along', 'want', 'die', 'granny', 'dont', 'girlfriendi', 'amgay', 'since', 'youre', 'braindead', 'homophobe', 'havent', 'noticed', 'dadi', 'getting', 'car', 'job', 'going', 'buy', 'car', 'ive', 'driven', 'almost', 'died', 'dont', 'remember', 'drunk', 'mom', 'lol', 'literally', 'know', 'mother', 'isreport', 'someone', 'fuck', 'iti', 'done', 'let', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'god', 'exist', 'hope', 'see', 'die', 'spit', 'face']
144
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149
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20
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382
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30
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169
['everyday', 'wake', 'first', 'thought', 'much', 'want', 'blow', 'head', 'open', 'shotgun', 'friend', 'havent', 'girlfriend', 'year', 'feel', 'like', 'ghost', 'floating', 'around', 'world', 'unable', 'make', 'contact', 'anyone', 'sometimes', 'fantasize', 'blowing', 'head', 'class', 'public', 'place', 'would', 'forever', 'burned', 'stranger', 'memory', 'doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'understand', 'feeling']
41
['friend', 'shitty', 'place', 'cant', 'help', 'two', 'good', 'friend', 'really', 'depressed', 'cutting', 'etc', 'amhorribly', 'socially', 'awkward', 'well', 'mildly', 'depressed', 'even', 'text', 'feel', 'completely', 'useless', 'come', 'supporting', 'encouraging', 'guess', 'isnt', 'exactly', 'right', 'sub', 'whatever', 'dont', 'want', 'bother', 'research', 'find', 'right', 'one', 'jut', 'dont', 'know']
42
['anxiety', 'going', 'kill', 'hello', 'havent', 'posted', 'amdriven', 'get', 'thing', 'chest', 'go', 'crazyi', 'amhaving', 'another', 'anxiety', 'attack', 'basically', 'constant', 'anxious', 'state', 'day', 'go', 'thati', 'struggling', 'happens', 'worst', 'happens', 'road', 'cant', 'take', 'anymoremy', 'chest', 'hurt', 'write', 'brink', 'cry', 'hour', 'ago', 'half', 'hour', 'min', 'cant', 'live', 'moment', 'like', 'everyone', 'tell', 'tell', 'nothing', 'worry', 'right', 'everything', 'fine', 'within', 'moment', 'counseling', 'ive', 'given', 'people', 'yes', 'used', 'counselor', 'ive', 'saved', 'least', 'one', 'life', 'year', 'worked', 'field', 'suicide', 'preventionsubstance', 'abuse', 'evidently', 'cant', 'help', 'myselfi', 'want', 'sleep', 'cant', 'want', 'stay', 'home', 'work', 'cant', 'want', 'go', 'hiking', 'trail', 'near', 'apartment', 'cant', 'want', 'draw', 'cant', 'nothing', 'making', 'happy', 'everything', 'dragging', 'right', 'back', 'anxiety', 'never', 'bad', 'want', 'sleep', 'relax', 'worryfree', 'cant', 'dont', 'know']
112
['give', 'one', 'reason', 'one', 'give', 'shit', 'anymore', 'ivve', 'done', 'many', 'time', 'med', 'dont', 'work', 'never', 'ive', 'lying', 'alonggive', 'one', 'good', 'reason', 'stay', 'alive', 'mind', 'racing', 'cant', 'think', 'anything', 'anct', 'anymore']
30
['wish', 'could', 'die']
3
['depressed', 'long', 'title', 'say', 'ive', 'depressed', 'long', 'lost', 'love', 'life', 'danger', 'losing', 'job', 'ive', 'always', 'thought', 'suicide', 'option', 'easy', 'way', 'see', 'route', 'lost', 'real', 'life', 'friend', 'everything', 'try', 'doesnt', 'make', 'happy', 'anymore', 'losing', 'emotion', 'cant', 'even', 'fake', 'smile', 'front', 'everyone', 'anymore', 'ended', 'talking', 'someone', 'snapchat', 'seeing', 'could', 'cheer', 'today', 'ended', 'dream', 'killing', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'holding', 'back', 'anymore', 'tried', 'best', 'seeking', 'help', 'instead', 'asking', 'help', 'end', 'saying', 'word', 'hate', 'knowi', 'ama', 'despicable', 'human', 'thanks', 'whoever', 'reading', 'wa', 'planning', 'end', 'birthday', 'october', 'st', 'soi', 'trying', 'find', 'thing', 'make', 'happy']
88
['amabout', 'take', 'lithium', 'right', 'edge', 'everything', 'life', 'ha', 'changed', 'year', 'simply', 'opt', 'deal', 'anymore', 'much', 'whole', 'lot', 'lithium', 'drug', 'get', 'toxic', 'quickly', 'therapeutic', 'dosei', 'amready', 'go']
26
['think', 'time', 'finally', 'leave', 'term', 'ive', 'come', 'put', 'word', 'thing', 'mind', 'long', 'remember', 'feel', 'selfish', 'saying', 'thing', 'throughout', 'life', 'one', 'true', 'friend', 'horse', 'school', 'year', 'college', 'horse', 'knew', 'secret', 'everything', 'ever', 'since', 'died', 'year', 'ago', 'felt', 'part', 'ha', 'died', 'along', 'since', 'ive', 'done', 'exist', 'ive', 'felt', 'true', 'happiness', 'time', 'ever', 'reason', 'havent', 'ended', 'yet', 'feel', 'guilty', 'leave', 'behind', 'feel', 'life', 'ha', 'value', 'whatsoever', 'presence', 'would', 'missed', 'every', 'night', 'go', 'sleep', 'pray', 'dont', 'wake', 'unfortunatelyi', 'still', 'sad', 'know', 'two', 'thing', 'kept', 'going', 'current', 'horse', 'taylor', 'swift', 'music', 'even', 'feel', 'overwhelming', 'hollow', 'life', 'would', 'sooner']
93
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242
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301
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153
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43
['guy', 'depressed', 'guy', 'distract', 'extremely', 'depressed']
6
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133
['feel', 'like', 'ignorant', 'idea', 'expect', 'post', 'seriously', 'want', 'post', 'sort', 'get', 'head', 'ive', 'thinking', 'suiciding', 'time', 'ha', 'really', 'gotten', 'worse', 'honest', 'alone', 'walk', 'around', 'kitchen', 'often', 'catch', 'imagining', 'taking', 'whatever', 'tool', 'ending', 'like', 'ofc', 'ive', 'tried', 'find', 'easiest', 'least', 'painful', 'way', 'cant', 'cant', 'stand', 'thought', 'ruining', 'family', 'life', 'dont', 'feel', 'happy', 'time', 'id', 'rather', 'feel', 'like', 'living', 'hell', 'moment', 'feel', 'like', 'snapping', 'go', 'ignorant', 'ending', 'absolutely', 'doubt', 'didnt', 'family', 'friend', 'would', 'end', 'seriously', 'dont', 'want', 'talk', 'anyone', 'know', 'generally', 'anyone', 'person', 'dont', 'want', 'treated', 'differently', 'thinking', 'calling', 'suicideline', 'find', 'odd', 'call', 'like', 'hi', 'feel', 'like', 'commiting', 'suicide', 'reason', 'post', 'cant', 'see', 'judge', 'hide', 'behind', 'screen']
105
['dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'keep', 'feel', 'likei', 'going', 'crazy', 'temptation', 'growing', 'strongeri', 'amjust', 'sorry']
14
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105
['guy', 'think', 'time', 'wanna', 'gone', 'bye', 'reddit']
7
['panicking', 'spilling', 'gas', 'street', 'godi', 'thinking', 'anything', 'life', 'filled', 'lawnmower', 'gasoil', 'mix', 'instead', 'oil', 'waaaaay', 'much', 'particular', 'lawnmower', 'isnt', 'working', 'right', 'ive', 'using', 'another', 'cover', 'damage', 'wa', 'use', 'carburetor', 'cleaner', 'repair', 'realized', 'ton', 'left', 'system', 'like', 'fucking', 'idiot', 'emptied', 'le', 'gallon', 'onto', 'street', 'right', 'next', 'house', 'fact', 'nowi', 'ampanicing', 'literally', 'parent', 'notice', 'pernament', 'stain', 'block', 'dont', 'know', 'fuking', 'suspect', 'cant', 'removed', 'making', 'worried']
63
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688
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45
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20
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262
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7
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178
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147
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47
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352
['amjust', 'tired', 'hi', 'maybe', 'last', 'attempt', 'reach', 'outi', 'ama', 'year', 'old', 'compulsive', 'liar', 'ive', 'destroyed', 'relationship', 'boyfriend', 'lying', 'age', 'last', 'several', 'month', 'ive', 'felt', 'alone', 'ive', 'started', 'think', 'self', 'harming', 'first', 'time', 'year', 'lay', 'bed', 'cry', 'morning', 'often', 'chest', 'always', 'hurt', 'cant', 'avoid', 'anxiety', 'attack', 'around', 'hate', 'dont', 'know', 'really', 'want', 'help', 'need', 'place', 'dump', 'feeling', 'guess']
57
['dont', 'end', 'inpatient', 'sooni', 'going', 'die', 'title', 'explains', 'alli', 'amready', 'die', 'thats', 'brain', 'telling', 'nonstop', 'even', 'wheni', 'amout', 'thing', 'love', 'psychiatrist', 'closed', 'doctor', 'officei', 'amfuckedi', 'amabsolutely', 'fucked']
27
['panic', 'decision', 'cant', 'make', 'okay', 'going', 'get', 'heavy', 'proceed', 'caution', 'fallen', 'girl', 'name', 'n', 'n', 'fantastic', 'love', 'spending', 'time', 'attended', 'university', 'see', 'whenever', 'want', 'nose', 'adorable', 'heart', 'super', 'open', 'everything', 'good', 'world', 'make', 'heart', 'flutter', 'cant', 'really', 'look', 'eye', 'much', 'make', 'come', 'appart', 'due', 'part', 'two', 'edit', 'n', 'doe', 'cat', 'love', 'thats', 'awesome', 'extremely', 'allergic', 'cat', 'hive', 'sneezing', 'cry', 'part', 'two', 'girlfriend', 'two', 'year', 'bestfriend', 'weve', 'really', 'shitty', 'situation', 'fight', 'kinda', 'often', 'attended', 'uni', 'minute', 'away', 'really', 'see', 'weekend', 'really', 'love', 'girl', 'discussed', 'feel', 'constant', 'need', 'talk', 'eachother', 'cant', 'visit', 'often', 'make', 'stay', 'later', 'would', 'like', 'watch', 'movie', 'fuck', 'sit', 'around', 'together', 'couple', 'enjoy', 'presence', 'rare', 'get', 'shes', 'religious', 'feel', 'go', 'church', 'behind', 'back', 'anti', 'church', 'know', 'go', 'feel', 'bad', 'come', 'final', 'issue', 'gotten', 'head', 'killing', 'would', 'make', 'issue', 'go', 'away', 'pain', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'feel', 'pressure', 'make', 'decision', 'actually', 'hate', 'idea', 'break', 'someone', 'hate', 'loosing', 'n', 'friend', 'death', 'seam', 'like', 'good', 'solution', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'anymore', 'cant', 'make', 'decision', 'please', 'anyone', 'give', 'help']
170
['one', 'left', 'post', 'reddit', 'everybody', 'care', 'sometimes', 'dont', 'anybody', 'talk', 'feel', 'like', 'alone', 'daytoday', 'life', 'really', 'arent', 'hundred', 'thousand', 'u', 'really', 'care', 'want', 'help', 'people', 'like', 'u', 'going', 'exact', 'thing', 'feel', 'exact', 'way', 'make', 'u', 'understand', 'alone', 'promise', 'may', 'feel', 'like', 'doe', 'defeat', 'u']
44
['amstruggling', 'sorry', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'numb', 'feel', 'empty', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'want', 'miserable', 'anymore', 'ive', 'got', 'many', 'promise', 'people', 'dont', 'want', 'let', 'people', 'know']
24
['going', 'blow', 'fucking', 'brain', 'much', 'fucking', 'shit', 'dont', 'want', 'hear', 'bullshit', 'get', 'linked', 'bullshit', 'hotline', 'tell', 'something', 'fucking', 'real']
19
['hear', 'voice', 'head', 'telling', 'kill', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'rare', 'nueromuscular', 'disease', 'numerous', 'concussion', 'might', 'explain', 'voice', 'dont', 'know', 'talk', 'real', 'friend', 'feel', 'likei', 'amdone', 'life']
25
['dont', 'reason', 'wake', 'every', 'morning', 'dont', 'like', 'look', 'dont', 'like', 'life', 'screwed', 'study', 'cant', 'anything', 'interest', 'hobbiesi', 'dont', 'reason', 'wake', 'morning', 'dont', 'think', 'one', 'yearsim', 'going', 'kill', 'mother', 'made', 'promise', 'would', 'never', 'alive', 'least', 'amkeeping', 'promise', 'hate', 'life', 'right', 'nowi', 'dont', 'know', 'fix', 'dont', 'see', 'problem', 'fixing', 'soon', 'like', 'usually', 'happens', 'dont', 'know', 'since', 'never', 'happenedi', 'need', 'help', 'going', 'worst', 'year', 'lifethis', 'much', 'man']
64
['life', 'big', 'deal', 'sorry', 'aggressive', 'cap', 'lock', 'title', 'guysi', 'amkinda', 'new', 'reddit', 'suffer', 'major', 'depression', 'six', 'year', 'even', 'life', 'wasnt', 'good', 'let', 'go', 'straight', 'pointim', 'sitting', 'room', 'ori', 'going', 'must', 'see', 'people', 'go', 'home', 'panic', 'attack', 'know', 'dont', 'give', 'fi', 'hope', 'die', 'turn', 'make', 'smile', 'literally', 'front', 'last', 'birthday', 'cake', 'candle', 'wished', 'die', 'saw', 'falling', 'star', 'week', 'ago', 'first', 'thought', 'wa', 'make', 'die', 'f', 'star', 'think', 'dead', 'body', 'still', 'kinda', 'warm', 'skin', 'little', 'bit', 'bluegreen', 'blood', 'flow', 'stopping', 'feel', 'pain', 'softeningi', 'wish', 'kill', 'month', 'dont', 'know', 'must', 'done', 'well', 'need', 'something', 'leave', 'alive', 'paralized', 'chair', 'hospitalother', 'wish', 'become', 'rich', 'buy', 'louis', 'vuitton', 'bag', 'gucci', 'versace', 'shoe', 'sport', 'car', 'home', 'switzerland', 'work', 'fashion', 'world', 'designing', 'clothes', 'make', 'runway', 'model', 'making', 'movie', 'watching', 'every', 'movie', 'earth', 'part', 'group', 'cinema', 'addict', 'partner', 'maybe', 'buy', 'euthanasia', 'money', 'cant', 'buy', 'happiness', 'buy', 'ethernal', 'sleepim', 'discussing', 'gender', 'identity', 'thats', 'confusing', 'want', 'beautiful', 'thing', 'called', 'life', 'hope', 'f', 'word', 'said', 'hard', 'express', 'feeling', 'know']
157
['need', 'talk', 'someone', 'hi', 'right', 'page', 'list', 'resource', 'including', 'whole', 'bunch', 'people', 'talk', 'help', 'speak', 'someone', 'text', 'chat', 'hope', 'help']
20
['question', 'youd', 'want', 'ask', 'know', 'anyone', 'killed', 'question', 'wish', 'could', 'ask', 'themi', 'plan', 'killing', 'next', 'week', 'want', 'leave', 'note', 'answering', 'question', 'family', 'friend', 'may', 'thanks']
25
['need', 'perspective', 'currently', 'starting', 'sophomore', 'tuesday', 'large', 'university', 'moved', 'new', 'house', 'feel', 'though', 'friend', 'besides', 'girlfriend', 'dont', 'want', 'burden', 'practically', 'friend', 'freshman', 'year', 'dont', 'want', 'hang', 'person', 'friend', 'group', 'often', 'butt', 'head', 'living', 'cant', 'see', 'themi', 'amrather', 'quiet', 'terrible', 'making', 'friend', 'honestly', 'say', 'idea', 'make', 'friend', 'also', 'hour', 'away', 'home', 'want', 'done', 'ive', 'gone', 'moment', 'like', 'survived', 'hurt', 'much', 'right']
60
['cant', 'find', 'reason', 'every', 'morning', 'get', 'bed', 'need', 'find', 'reason', 'kill', 'day', 'dont', 'get', 'bedtoday', 'one', 'day', 'ive', 'lying', 'staring', 'ceiling', 'phone', 'fucking', 'hour', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'think', 'reason', 'worth', 'getting', 'bed', 'today', 'killing']
34
['yesterday', 'sat', 'scaffolding', 'today', 'want', 'go', 'night', 'people', 'around', 'place', 'th', 'floor', 'exact', 'place', 'searched', 'long', 'time', 'pretty', 'much', 'perfect', 'place', 'die', 'ive', 'searched', 'long', 'time', 'yesterday', 'didnt', 'jump', 'one', 'single', 'reason', 'nowi', 'amdreaming', 'going', 'back', 'tonight', 'jump', 'time', 'wouldnt', 'make', 'mistake', 'held', 'back']
44
['five', 'year', 'five', 'year', 'since', 'thought', 'started', 'classmate', 'died', 'tragically', 'suddenly', 'accident', 'wa', 'popular', 'wellliked', 'good', 'reason', 'really', 'nice', 'guy', 'remember', 'assembly', 'happened', 'sat', 'alone', 'everyone', 'else', 'wa', 'hugging', 'remembering', 'sat', 'alone', 'said', 'shouldnt', 'himit', 'wa', 'funeral', 'realized', 'many', 'eulogy', 'fond', 'memory', 'many', 'people', 'touched', 'knew', 'wouldnt', 'id', 'fizzle', 'even', 'noticedi', 'wish', 'could', 'say', 'spent', 'last', 'five', 'year', 'making', 'something', 'becoming', 'better', 'havent', 'friend', 'social', 'anxiety', 'ugly', 'fat', 'alone', 'think', 'ending', 'often', 'think', 'thing', 'holding', 'back', 'thati', 'afraid', 'go', 'sit', 'five', 'year', 'later', 'thinking', 'kid', 'high', 'school', 'deserved', 'shot', 'dont']
90
['turned', 'week', 'dont', 'dream', 'goal', 'waking', 'painfuli', 'sayingi', 'ama', 'special', 'snowflake', 'know', 'sub', 'go', 'worse', 'stuff', 'know', 'nobody', 'asked', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'whiny', 'brat', 'ive', 'honestly', 'enoughi', 'ama', 'shitty', 'person', 'dont', 'reply', 'message', 'people', 'still', 'actually', 'trying', 'talk', 'seems', 'pointless', 'leave', 'bed', 'absolutely', 'necessary', 'hate', 'spending', 'time', 'others', 'matter', 'important', 'people', 'used', 'love', 'art', 'cant', 'bring', 'create', 'thing', 'anymore', 'beginning', 'summer', 'break', 'wa', 'likei', 'going', 'draw', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'following', 'two', 'month', 'form', 'habit', 'id', 'like', 'maintain', 'work', 'hard', 'becoming', 'artist', 'well', 'guess', 'summer', 'break', 'ending', 'today', 'sketched', 'ended', 'piece', 'garbage', 'realized', 'actually', 'wanted', 'artist', 'id', 'passionate', 'wouldnt', 'know', 'live', 'without', 'constantly', 'making', 'art', 'thats', 'exact', 'opposite', 'usually', 'ended', 'hating', 'artwork', 'anyways', 'think', 'people', 'much', 'determined', 'become', 'artist', 'sure', 'hell', 'deserve', 'someone', 'like', 'myselfi', 'amjust', 'pretty', 'much', 'numb', 'time', 'whenever', 'tiny', 'inconvenience', 'creep', 'life', 'brain', 'instantly', 'go', 'suicidal', 'mode', 'crippling', 'anxiety', 'take', 'life', 'go', 'thing', 'think', 'death', 'use', 'coping', 'mechanism', 'nothing', 'matter', 'die', 'anyways', 'make', 'anxiety', 'le', 'extreme', 'healthy', 'since', 'start', 'planning', 'suicidei', 'amchanging', 'school', 'completely', 'new', 'environment', 'make', 'thing', 'even', 'worse', 'cant', 'stop', 'imagining', 'worst', 'scenario', 'basically', 'right', 'best', 'option', 'hanging', 'messed', 'everything', 'life', 'failed', 'driving', 'exam', 'birthday', 'couldnt', 'take', 'pressure', 'previous', 'school', 'cant', 'keep', 'making', 'art', 'honestly', 'dont', 'dream', 'future', 'thing', 'genuinely', 'want', 'peaceplease', 'suggest', 'therapymedication', 'cant', 'get', 'professional', 'help', 'right']
213
['cant', 'handle', 'anymore', 'fighting', 'depresiion', 'nowi', 'strong', 'enough', 'getting', 'violent', 'past', 'month', 'temper', 'raise', 'fasti', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'wanted', 'kill', 'year', 'ago', 'even', 'attempted', 'failed', 'wa', 'coward', 'girl', 'saved', 'later', 'trying', 'ended', 'dating', 'yearshe', 'cheated', 'lost', 'reason', 'live', 'lost', 'got', 'told', 'thati', 'ameasy', 'replace', 'cant', 'handle', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'painoverthinking', 'trully', 'hate', 'myselfi', 'dont', 'want', 'sympathy', 'noone', 'talk', 'one', 'suicide', 'selfish', 'noone', 'else', 'would', 'harm', 'one', 'would', 'care', 'woudnt', 'selfish', 'anymore', 'would', 'one', 'careseven', 'thing', 'fun', 'ha', 'stopped', 'becoming', 'fun', 'gamesoverwatch', 'dont', 'want', 'sympathy', 'find', 'someone', 'else', 'dont', 'want', 'anyone', 'else', 'dont', 'want', 'self']
95
['hi', 'yo', 'boy', 'fucked', 'whole', 'life', 'upi', 'amwriting', 'chromebook', 'school', 'parent', 'downstairs', 'talking', 'disgusting', 'think', 'second', 'away', 'sending', 'military', 'school', 'id', 'rather', 'talk', 'jist', 'wa', 'instagram', 'messing', 'friend', 'kid', 'mom', 'talking', 'wa', 'dick', 'mom', 'called', 'worthless', 'said', 'fuck', 'told', 'fuck', 'regret', 'life', 'fucked', 'social', 'medium', 'done', 'phone', 'taken', 'away', 'cant', 'hang', 'friend', 'go', 'school', 'come', 'home', 'homework', 'suffer', 'see', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'blow', 'brain']
63
['nothing', 'left', 'feel', 'like', 'thing', 'left', 'end', 'iti', 'amsick', 'fighting', 'shit', 'screw', 'every', 'relationship', 'job', 'get', 'cant', 'anymore', 'suicide', 'one', 'thing', 'actually', 'look', 'forward', 'anymore', 'thing', 'thats', 'guaranteed', 'way', 'sure', 'wont', 'miserable', 'anymorei', 'ama', 'fucking', 'piece', 'shit', 'better', 'ifi', 'amgone', 'cant', 'even', 'buy', 'damn', 'gun', 'ive', 'committed', 'mental', 'hospital', 'feel', 'like', 'stuck', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'time', 'realize', 'whati', 'want', 'gone', 'like', 'turning', 'light', 'switch']
66
['lazy', 'valid', 'reason', 'suicide', 'plan', 'going', 'college', 'ive', 'gone', 'one', 'abroad', 'didnt', 'study', 'soon', 'dropped', 'trade', 'energy', 'except', 'going', 'work', 'coming', 'home', 'lay', 'bed', 'day', 'watching', 'show', 'laptop', 'ambition', 'desire', 'hobby', 'basically', 'hate', 'learning', 'anything', 'find', 'reading', 'boring', 'listening', 'educational', 'talk', 'boring', 'complex', 'shit', 'boring', 'hard', 'everything', 'fucking', 'boring', 'requires', 'efforti', 'thinki', 'ampampered', 'keep', 'whining', 'problem', 'internet', 'cant', 'bothered', 'move', 'arse', 'fix', 'anything', 'ask', 'dont', 'want', 'make', 'video', 'game', 'programming', 'stupid', 'boring', 'anyway', 'dont', 'like', 'anything', 'particular', 'used', 'like', 'video', 'game', 'nowi', 'lazy', 'play', 'buy', 'one', 'every', 'doesnt', 'take', 'long', 'get', 'boredim', 'nobody', 'nothing', 'work', 'towardsi', 'amdumb', 'grasp', 'basic', 'concept', 'like', 'tax', 'desire', 'learn', 'law', 'dont', 'even', 'fucking', 'know', 'politician', 'areand', 'yesi', 'amwriting', 'attention', 'sincei', 'ampowerless', 'something']
117
['really', 'pathetic', 'hard', 'time', 'holding', 'truth', 'isi', 'ama', 'pathetic', 'excuse', 'humani', 'amsuicidal', 'cant', 'get', 'girlfriend', 'know', 'thats', 'dumb', 'reason', 'really', 'hurt', 'able', 'get', 'girlfriend', 'ive', 'never', 'girlfriend', 'life', 'even', 'gotten', 'close', 'girl', 'reject', 'say', 'becausei', 'amugly', 'rest', 'give', 'reason', 'like', 'sweet', 'ready', 'relationship', 'stuff', 'trying', 'nice', 'ive', 'come', 'accept', 'thati', 'amnever', 'going', 'partner', 'life', 'destiny', 'alone', 'lot', 'people', 'therapist', 'try', 'sell', 'meet', 'girl', 'like', 'day', 'cant', 'believe', 'anymore', 'ive', 'known', 'nothing', 'rejection', 'ask', 'lady', 'honestly', 'tell', 'look', 'tell', 'mei', 'amugly', 'friend', 'familyi', 'financially', 'insecurei', 'amable', 'hobby', 'activity', 'interest', 'fair', 'rate', 'shouldnt', 'reason', 'suicidal', 'really', 'feel', 'ive', 'tried', 'many', 'time', 'focusing', 'bettering', 'sake', 'help', 'little', 'pain', 'alone', 'doesnt', 'ever', 'go', 'awayi', 'pathetic', 'cuddle', 'blanket', 'wadded', 'kinda', 'shape', 'woman', 'dont', 'anybody', 'cuddle', 'real', 'long', 'time', 'cuddling', 'blanket', 'brought', 'little', 'bit', 'comfort', 'enough', 'dont', 'know', 'really', 'feel', 'worthless', 'find', 'hard', 'find', 'reason', 'live']
140
['sure', 'online', 'friend', 'telling', 'hell', 'dead', 'yearsi', 'sure', 'different', 'country', 'dont', 'know', 'irl', 'facebook', 'know', 'town', 'ini', 'sure', 'call', 'cop', 'try', 'talk']
22
['life', 'joke', 'ive', 'fucked', 'everything', 'life', 'every', 'relationship', 'every', 'opportunity', 'everythingi', 'unwanted', 'mistakei', 'amadopted', 'still', 'fatherless', 'nobody', 'want', 'hate', 'bc', 'ive', 'created', 'situation', 'really', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'get', 'lower', 'next', 'step', 'kill', 'ive', 'always', 'looked', 'forward', 'day', 'diedi', 'sorry']
39
['redditor', 'look', 'suicidal', 'idea', 'doi', 'ama', 'subscriber', 'building', 'rocket', 'launching', 'fun', 'hobbysomeone', 'posted', 'wanting', 'launch', 'rocket', 'cheap', 'said', 'wa', 'disabled', 'know', 'let', 'link', 'posti', 'sure', 'went', 'history', 'brought', 'tear', 'guy', 'terminal', 'constant', 'pain', 'wa', 'looking', 'hobby', 'sits', 'spot', 'everyday', 'ha', 'laptop', 'one', 'care', 'sent', 'message', 'saying', 'care', 'shouldnt', 'hurt', 'dont', 'know', 'doi', 'amcrying', 'right', 'nowdirect', 'link', 'profile']
57
['wish', 'could', 'switch', 'place', 'depressed', 'rich', 'people', 'least', 'worrying', 'making', 'month', 'spending', 'cash', 'anything', 'want', 'would', 'le', 'worry', 'abouti', 'keep', 'buying', 'lottery', 'ticket', 'naive']
24
['tear', 'shadow', 'pt', 'figured', 'need', 'talk', 'someone', 'kill', 'uhm', 'post', 'shit', 'still', 'havent', 'finnished', 'writing', 'probably', 'post', 'rest', 'one', 'day', 'know', 'weand', 'welli', 'amhere', 'rather', 'one', 'well', 'must', 'confess', 'know', 'mean', 'make', 'sense', 'maybe', 'explain', 'little', 'whati', 'amtalking', 'yeah', 'indeed', 'maybe', 'even', 'mean', 'whoever', 'confused', 'well', 'maybe', 'start', 'explaining', 'youi', 'amtalking', 'right', 'well', 'end', 'choice', 'sowell', 'dear', 'crazy', 'right', 'oh', 'still', 'doe', 'understand', 'look', 'mirror', 'webcam', 'person', 'whatever', 'reason', 'mean', 'reading', 'note', 'uhm', 'maybe', 'confess', 'whyi', 'amwriting', 'right', 'well', 'always', 'youre', 'going', 'read', 'hope', 'stay', 'little', 'longer', 'maybe', 'wait', 'youre', 'still', 'ha', 'strange', 'one', 'okay', 'well', 'mean', 'wanna', 'understand', 'let', 'start', 'beginning', 'maybeso', 'uhm', 'would', 'start', 'year', 'ago', 'brazil', 'yeah', 'thats', 'wheni', 'amborn', 'nononono', 'dont', 'worry', 'wont', 'take', 'long', 'tell', 'everything', 'make', 'quick', 'wa', 'born', 'mom', 'dad', 'happily', 'married', 'wadahwadahwadah', 'thats', 'true', 'mom', 'wasnt', 'really', 'happy', 'dad', 'dad', 'wa', 'kinda', 'drug', 'durign', 'day', 'wa', 'three', 'broke', 'raised', 'without', 'dad', 'well', 'maybe', 'wouldnt', 'know', 'difference', 'well', 'maybe', 'sort', 'uhm', 'oh', 'yeah', 'sorry', 'keep', 'going', 'year', 'old', 'dad', 'didnt', 'miss', 'day', 'though', 'remember', 'well', 'time', 'go', 'enter', 'school', 'big', 'school', 'full', 'people', 'friend', 'wouldnt', 'call', 'okay', 'guess', 'let', 'say', 'little', 'friend', 'friendly', 'cant', 'really', 'remember', 'much', 'day', 'remember', 'rejected', 'qqcouple', 'year', 'later', 'joined', 'elementary', 'school', 'sure', 'work', 'live', 'year', 'elementary', 'school', 'highschool', 'college', 'uhm', 'st', 'year', 'kinda', 'learned', 'read', 'except', 'already', 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1297
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50
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72
['going', 'visit', 'internet', 'friend', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'need', 'help', 'close', 'friend', 'ive', 'known', 'time', 'internet', 'never', 'actually', 'met', 'irl', 'though', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'think', 'theyre', 'stable', 'dont', 'know', 'certaini', 'live', 'several', 'state', 'awayi', 'amtaking', 'time', 'work', 'ride', 'bike', 'visit', 'themi', 'work', 'offshore', 'tough', 'environmenti', 'comforting', 'person', 'usual', 'mo', 'people', 'complaining', 'showing', 'weakness', 'tell', 'quit', 'fucking', 'around', 'suck', 'ive', 'also', 'told', 'may', 'aspergers', 'mild', 'form', 'autism', 'inhibits', 'one', 'social', 'ability', 'sure', 'thati', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'going', 'get', 'therei', 'ampartially', 'afraid', 'theyll', 'ashamed', 'even', 'see', 'meany', 'advice', 'welcome']
85
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336
['ranti', 'amprobably', 'going', 'kill', 'near', 'future', 'maybe', 'tonight', 'maybe', 'ive', 'packed', 'university', 'later', 'week', 'room', 'cleani', 'amsick', 'nobody', 'taking', 'seriously', 'theyll', 'regret', 'wheni', 'amgone', 'ive', 'yet', 'another', 'argument', 'one', 'friend', 'specific', 'attachment', 'seriously', 'tired', 'tired', 'saying', 'going', 'abandon', 'ha', 'cool', 'new', 'fucking', 'boyfriend', 'admiti', 'amjealous', 'despite', 'romantically', 'interested', 'friend', 'tired', 'pushing', 'away', 'pulling', 'back', 'like', 'nothing', 'happened', 'repeating', 'fucking', 'cycle', 'month', 'year', 'fuck', 'know', 'cant', 'help', 'dont', 'thing', 'purpose', 'dont', 'want', 'lose', 'hell', 'lose', 'first', 'fuck']
76
['even', 'continue', 'living', 'havent', 'friend', 'year', 'never', 'girlfriend', 'turning', 'january', 'still', 'dont', 'single', 'social', 'medium', 'account', 'nobody', 'add', 'anyway', 'aspergers', 'feel', 'like', 'impossible', 'accomplish', 'anything', 'socially', 'wa', 'even', 'tempted', 'asking', 'girl', 'one', 'college', 'class', 'lunch', 'turn', 'wa', 'year', 'older', 'probably', 'see', 'kid', 'didnt', 'even', 'bother', 'tried', 'befriending', 'one', 'former', 'programming', 'professor', 'ended', 'ghosting', 'text', 'tried', 'lifting', 'weight', 'boost', 'confidence', 'ended', 'injuring', 'knee', 'lower', 'back', 'terrible', 'squat', 'form', 'spent', 'week', 'trying', 'perfect', 'even', 'failed', 'fucking', 'elementary', 'algebra', 'class', 'community', 'college', 'christ', 'sake', 'feel', 'stupid', 'inadequatethe', 'reasoni', 'amholding', 'back', 'killing', 'family', 'ive', 'wanting', 'kill', 'since', 'wa', 'year', 'oldi', 'amthinking', 'know', 'family', 'feel', 'horrified', 'better', 'feeling', 'way', 'another', 'year']
106
['ambipolar', 'mom', 'dont', 'think', 'okay', 'bipolar', 'mom', 'wont', 'get', 'help', 'iti', 'ama', 'mess', 'idk', 'doi', 'amvery', 'suicidal', 'advice', 'help']
19
['amdestined', 'kill', 'ive', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'since', 'ive', 'probably', 'depression', 'longer', 'tried', 'telling', 'someone', 'lost', 'friend', 'tried', 'applying', 'disability', 'got', 'denied', 'even', 'though', 'history', 'documented', 'doctor', 'cant', 'keep', 'job', 'long', 'enough', 'cant', 'nothing', 'left', 'want', 'make', 'bleed', 'hang', 'tree', 'everyone', 'hate', 'hate', 'dont', 'already', 'want', 'someone', 'push', 'edge', 'already', 'cant', 'keep', 'going', 'get', 'worse', 'know']
54
['id', 'anything', 'die', 'id', 'never', 'kill', 'entire', 'life', 'ive', 'left', 'thing', 'didnt', 'play', 'football', 'child', 'didnt', 'play', 'xbox', 'throughout', 'middle', 'school', 'didnt', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'talking', 'girl', 'began', 'change', 'one', 'night', 'got', 'text', 'girl', 'thought', 'wa', 'cute', 'talked', 'talked', 'talked', 'ended', 'dating', 'couple', 'month', 'became', 'comfortable', 'social', 'setting', 'met', 'another', 'girl', 'became', 'close', 'tonight', 'blocked', 'socia', 'medium', 'want', 'make', 'excuse', 'know', 'faulti', 'amclingy', 'irritating', 'never', 'happy', 'nowi', 'amalone', 'grandpa', 'passed', 'away', 'couple', 'week', 'ago', 'dad', 'hospital', 'mom', 'lost', 'job', 'grandma', 'ha', 'stage', 'cancer', 'school', 'started', 'didnt', 'make', 'soccer', 'team', 'see', 'reason', 'keep', 'living', 'right', 'nothing', 'gonna', 'get', 'better', 'hasnt', 'last', 'year', 'feel', 'alone', 'right', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'anybody', 'actually', 'cared', 'enough', 'read', 'thank']
112
['ive', 'enough', 'cruel', 'world', 'everywhere', 'always', 'see', 'positive', 'outcome', 'happy', 'ending', 'story', 'everything', 'wrap', 'neatly', 'well', 'real', 'life', 'everybody', 'hide', 'guise', 'politeness', 'feel', 'worse', 'outright', 'hostility', 'pretending', 'toxic', 'behavior', 'okay', 'brings', 'second', 'point', 'effective', 'way', 'discouraging', 'suicide', 'guilttripping', 'making', 'one', 'decision', 'ultimate', 'control', 'care', 'feel', 'bad', 'everyone', 'mourning', 'loss', 'child', 'sibling', 'friend', 'stranger', 'never', 'idea', 'keep', 'living', 'spare', 'feeling', 'youve', 'enough', 'shouldnt', 'control', 'life', 'sorry', 'sound', 'dramatic', 'important', 'issue', 'around']
70
['amlost', 'first', 'place', 'please', 'excuse', 'grammar', 'mistakesi', 'amromanian', 'rusty', 'english', 'started', 'best', 'friend', 'committed', 'suicide', 'together', 'another', 'common', 'friend', 'u', 'year', 'old', 'jumped', 'high', 'building', 'saw', 'video', 'police', 'officer', 'wa', 'ready', 'jump', 'started', 'run', 'stopped', 'stopped', 'edge', 'building', 'tried', 'get', 'back', 'roof', 'slipped', 'whats', 'word', 'tripped', 'building', 'border', 'happened', 'day', 'still', 'think', 'cry', 'often', 'imagine', 'feel', 'last', 'moment', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'actually', 'try', 'save', 'trip', 'border', 'fall', 'height', 'wa', 'thinking', 'body', 'wa', 'broken', 'two', 'piece', 'still', 'haunting', 'sweari', 'liar', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'feel', 'feel', 'presence', 'dream', 'seem', 'real', 'tragedy', 'wa', 'raped', 'wa', 'cemetery', 'friend', 'funeral', 'candle', 'wa', 'day', 'summer', 'would', 'like', 'go', 'detail', 'start', 'cry', 'shit', 'happened', 'mom', 'didnt', 'believed', 'said', 'really', 'happened', 'dont', 'believe', 'god', 'thats', 'way', 'punish', 'father', 'nothing', 'wa', 'ownmy', 'friend', 'committed', 'suicide', 'one', 'year', 'old', 'little', 'brother', 'yesterday', 'committed', 'suicide', 'age', 'laid', 'neck', 'rail', 'waited', 'train', 'arrive', 'cant', 'get', 'head', 'think', 'like', 'lay', 'feel', 'rail', 'shaking', 'train', 'coming', 'hear', 'honk', 'train', 'know', 'last', 'minute', 'life', 'whats', 'haunting', 'think', 'fault', 'last', 'week', 'got', 'nervous', 'nowhere', 'wa', 'thinking', 'something', 'bad', 'going', 'happen', 'night', 'dream', 'best', 'friend', 'telling', 'dont', 'let', 'come', 'didnt', 'know', 'wa', 'stupid', 'freaked', 'think', 'chance', 'stop', 'stop', 'brother', 'suicide', 'week', 'saw', 'wa', 'like', 'wa', 'getting', 'ready', 'get', 'go', 'get', 'bread', 'store', 'closed', 'door', 'turned', 'right', 'saw', 'little', 'brother', 'form', 'shadow', 'like', 'blinked', 'wasnt', 'anymore', 'wa', 'thinking', 'wa', 'dream', 'imagining', 'stupid', 'known', 'need', 'talk', 'himive', 'lost', 'good', 'friend', 'situation', 'family', 'good', 'amfeeling', 'lost', 'moment', 'sit', 'balcony', 'looking', 'thinking', 'go', 'bit', 'closer', 'edge', 'jump', 'thing', 'like', 'problem', 'paranormal', 'theyre', 'rather', 'evil', 'freak', 'shit', 'sad', 'moving', 'thing', 'minor', 'thing', 'dont', 'know', 'thought', 'suicide', 'getting', 'stronger', 'dont', 'want', 'antidepressant', 'need', 'advice', 'idea', 'get', 'rid', 'shitty', 'mood', 'bad', 'spirit', 'go', 'away', 'know', 'wa', 'little', 'nothing', 'evil', 'ha', 'approached', 'small', 'entity', 'since', 'thought', 'mood', 'life', 'getting', 'worse', 'cant', 'get', 'rid', 'already', 'set', 'suicide', 'note', 'case', 'breakdown', 'thinking', 'selfharming', 'dont', 'want', 'want', 'happy', 'try', 'cant', 'anxiety', 'want', 'help']
314
['call', 'hotline', 'track', 'phone', 'send', 'someone', 'dont', 'know', 'appropriate', 'place', 'want', 'know', 'call']
13
['really', 'want', 'end', 'alli', 'yo', 'ive', 'fighting', 'real', 'hard', 'live', 'last', 'year', 'ive', 'everything', 'power', 'make', 'life', 'worth', 'living', 'think', 'ive', 'lost', 'battle']
23
['amgonna', 'intentionally', 'od', 'soon', 'someone', 'talk', 'wait', 'well', 'never', 'thought', 'would', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'first', 'offi', 'amhomeless', 'opiatealcohol', 'addict', 'quit', 'opiate', 'drinking', 'month', 'ago', 'recently', 'became', 'homeless', 'moved', 'mother', 'mom', 'alcoholic', 'wa', 'clean', 'recentlyi', 'amdepressed', 'using', 'opiatesalcohol', 'cope', 'stress', 'homeless', 'since', 'dont', 'know', 'way', 'cope', 'recently', 'found', 'mother', 'drinking', 'used', 'help', 'stress', 'thats', 'shes', 'drinking', 'never', 'home', 'feel', 'alone', 'thing', 'got', 'left', 'least', 'help', 'cope', 'opiate', 'alcohol', 'obviously', 'relapsed', 'month', 'clean', 'couple', 'houri', 'amgonna', 'load', 'rig', 'intentionally', 'od', 'want', 'someone', 'talk', 'last', 'hour', 'sorry', 'terrible', 'wording', 'grammari', 'amshaking', 'really', 'bad', 'due', 'anxiety', 'attacksi', 'asking', 'help', 'friend', 'last', 'hour']
97
['verge', 'suicide', 'ive', 'jut', 'recently', 'moved', 'girlfriend', 'mom', 'due', 'parent', 'kicking', 'house', 'theyre', 'selling', 'wasnt', 'bad', 'relationshipafter', 'week', 'moving', 'quit', 'job', 'became', 'unbearable', 'wa', 'month', 'ago', 'ive', 'looking', 'job', 'get', 'extreme', 'anxiety', 'apply', 'girlfriend', 'getting', 'hostile', 'verbally', 'physical', 'argue', 'everyday', 'make', 'want', 'anything', 'anymorejust', 'today', 'driving', 'get', 'lunch', 'sparked', 'argument', 'told', 'take', 'home', 'didnt', 'feel', 'like', 'public', 'without', 'going', 'extreme', 'detail', 'fault', 'wont', 'admit', 'itim', 'solely', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'girlfriend', 'arguing', 'part', 'usually', 'wake', 'want', 'sleep', 'day', 'feel', 'useless', 'mopey', 'throughout', 'dayi', 'amalso', 'extremely', 'angry', 'time', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amscared', 'really', 'dont', 'know']
92
['website', 'talk', 'someone', 'suicide', 'via', 'instant', 'messenger', 'need', 'talk', 'someone', 'suicide', 'dont', 'want', 'call', 'national', 'helpline', 'voiced', 'call', 'alsoi', 'amscared', 'theyll', 'call', 'police', 'say', 'something', 'actually', 'killing', 'ive', 'found', 'suck', 'christian', 'oriented', 'always', 'end', 'making', 'listen', 'rant', 'god', 'decide', 'ive', 'enough', 'anyway', 'good', 'one', 'please', 'tell']
46
['dead', 'soon', 'suicide', 'loss', 'survivor', 'suck', 'dickall', 'suicide', 'loss', 'survivor', 'fucking', 'suck', 'dick']
13
['getting', 'better', 'day', 'day', 'struggle', 'deal', 'depression', 'starting', 'get', 'ex', 'still', 'feeling', 'le', 'motivated', 'anything', 'maybe', 'joining', 'gym', 'help']
19
['want', 'peace', 'world', 'ha', 'lot', 'offer', 'mei', 'amjust', 'right', 'world', 'life', 'doesnt', 'like', 'dont', 'like', 'life', 'reason', 'havent', 'done', 'yet', 'dont', 'wanna', 'leave', 'brother', 'behind', 'amstarting', 'think', 'would', 'better', 'knew', 'brother', 'killed', 'rather', 'brother', 'complete', 'failure', 'life']
37
['overwhelmed', 'really', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'cant', 'anymore', 'everything', 'filling', 'thought', 'never', 'right', 'direction', 'everything', 'wrong', 'dont', 'even', 'remember', 'wa', 'going', 'say', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'wanna', 'feel', 'movement', 'want', 'drug', 'never', 'never', 'anything', 'right', 'want', 'line', 'snort', 'left', 'fuck', 'alone', 'want', 'someone', 'talk', 'cant', 'make', 'mind']
46
['sorryi', 'amto', 'weak', 'account', 'also', 'suicide', 'note', 'family', 'see', 'life', 'wherei', 'amheaded', 'start', 'panic', 'already', 'decent', 'plan', 'kill', 'dont', 'resource', 'yet', 'feel', 'likei', 'amchoking', 'love', 'life', 'wasnt', 'cut', 'painful']
29
['dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'might', 'bipolar', 'know', 'depressive', 'hell', 'know', 'tomorrow', 'might', 'feel', 'good', 'good', 'depressive', 'episode', 'getting', 'worse', 'used', 'friend', 'could', 'talk', 'felt', 'bad', 'recently', 'feel', 'like', 'weve', 'grown', 'apart', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'turn', 'anymorei', 'feel', 'likei', 'ambothering', 'hurt', 'goddamn', 'much', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'take', 'know', 'much', 'stranger', 'internet', 'someone', 'please', 'help']
57
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472
['everything', 'life', 'way', 'ive', 'felt', 'forever', 'emotional', 'involvement', 'abusive', 'person', 'ha', 'fucked', 'cant', 'look', 'mirror', 'without', 'disgusted', 'want', 'keep', 'part', 'short', 'typing', 'going', 'hurt', 'wa', 'woman', 'woman', 'abused', 'month', 'ago', 'ignored', 'saying', 'really', 'upsetting', 'thing', 'cut', 'half', 'arm', 'didnt', 'mean', 'deep', 'wa', 'stitch', 'later', 'muscular', 'nerve', 'scarring', 'permanant', 'loss', 'strength', 'arm', 'knew', 'contributed', 'feeling', 'night', 'currently', 'family', 'fucked', 'done', 'single', 'fun', 'thing', 'year', 'said', 'id', 'coming', 'pne', 'playland', 'cultus', 'lake', 'waterslides', 'leave', 'go', 'house', 'instead', 'ex', 'probably', 'know', 'may', 'get', 'back', 'hear', 'girlfriend', 'aunt', 'wa', 'coming', 'visit', 'apparently', 'fucking', 'weird', 'didnt', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'sleeping', 'house', 'stranger', 'like', 'ha', 'dating', 'damn', 'neice', 'year', 'leave', 'find', 'lied', 'pay', 'broke', 'know', 'didnt', 'enough', 'money', 'girl', 'ha', 'made', 'give', 'still', 'impacted', 'wisdom', 'tooth', 'wa', 'unmotivated', 'go', 'appointment', 'regret', 'living', 'brushed', 'teeth', 'time', 'like', 'month', 'two', 'face', 'look', 'uglyi', 'amscared', 'bone', 'loss', 'jaw', 'smile', 'look', 'different', 'amobsessing', 'want', 'end']
144
['worried', 'partner', 'thinking', 'title', 'statesi', 'amworried', 'partnerover', 'past', 'week', 'ha', 'concerning', 'comment', 'expression', 'helplessnesshopelessness', 'another', 'alone', 'feel', 'ha', 'friend', 'tonight', 'expressed', 'sad', 'wa', 'summer', 'wa', 'wished', 'could', 'last', 'forever', 'telling', 'wa', 'going', 'miss', 'teacher', 'back', 'school', 'mean', 'seeing', 'le', 'work', 'schedule', 'quite', 'different', 'know', 'fact', 'ha', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'past', 'ha', 'least', 'one', 'prior', 'attempt', 'spoken', 'much', 'topic', 'made', 'clear', 'wheneverwhere', 'ever', 'tonight', 'saying', 'wa', 'getting', 'thing', 'together', 'wa', 'go', 'home', 'saying', 'bring', 'different', 'thing', 'next', 'time', 'struck', 'odd', 'spend', 'time', 'apartment', 'item', 'almost', 'always', 'felt', 'though', 'wa', 'cleaning', 'speak', 'wouldnt', 'toi', 'asked', 'wa', 'okay', 'vocalized', 'wa', 'concerned', 'scared', 'might', 'something', 'told', 'much', 'mean', 'love', 'anything', 'world', 'true', 'made', 'sure', 'know', 'matter', 'talk', 'anything', 'looked', 'eye', 'said', 'wasnt', 'planning', 'anything', 'wa', 'okay', 'wa', 'profound', 'sadness', 'eye', 'left', 'said', 'could', 'come', 'wa', 'concerned', 'told', 'trusted', 'feel', 'like', 'may', 'mistake', 'feel', 'like', 'also', 'need', 'trust', 'believe', 'say', 'feel', 'likei', 'amover', 'processing', 'seemed', 'like', 'request', 'help', 'called', 'got', 'home', 'say', 'loved', 'wa', 'getting', 'bed', 'fairly', 'normal', 'routine', 'u', 'promised', 'text', 'get', 'also', 'overreacting', 'validity', 'concern']
171
['month', 'monthi', 'going', 'end', 'life', 'quit', 'job', 'lease', 'month', 'everything', 'place', 'wait', 'month', 'sayi', 'going', 'spend', 'wanti', 'going', 'spend', 'month', 'playing', 'video', 'game', 'apt', 'talking', 'friend', 'love', 'gaming', 'drinking', 'relaxing', 'enjoy', 'one', 'last', 'birthday', 'end', 'month', 'cant', 'fix', 'thing', 'lifei', 'far', 'thing', 'dark', 'least', 'get', 'happy', 'month', 'enjoy', 'without', 'work', 'stress', 'get', 'interesting', 'october', 'th', 'come']
56
['ambecoming', 'monster', 'fucked', 'life', 'bad', 'dont', 'feel', 'single', 'goddamn', 'thing', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'ive', 'calling', 'calling', 'get', 'therapist', 'one', 'fucking', 'ever', 'available', 'fucking', 'hate', 'shit', 'ive', 'cheated', 'treated', 'allmy', 'ex', 'like', 'shit', 'numerous', 'amount', 'hookup', 'shit', 'today', 'wa', 'last', 'one', 'wa', 'terrible', 'really', 'made', 'look', 'back', 'one', 'ex', 'cant', 'believe', 'cared', 'much', 'much', 'wa', 'blind', 'fuck', 'fucking', 'hate', 'much', 'right', 'everythings', 'starting', 'fall', 'apart', 'likei', 'amon', 'ride', 'cant', 'get', 'scare', 'shit', 'outta', 'friend', 'currently', 'chat', 'long', 'distance', 'dated', 'bit', 'ended', 'cheating', 'twice', 'still', 'want', 'life', 'though', 'cant', 'trust', 'anymore', 'get', 'paranoid', 'keeping', 'spite', 'usually', 'talk', 'start', 'berate', 'calling', 'pussy', 'bitch', 'sluti', 'amgay', 'btw', 'told', 'forgave', 'dont', 'see', 'ive', 'broken', 'many', 'fucking', 'time', 'keep', 'coming', 'back', 'feel', 'bad', 'everything', 'everything', 'starting', 'pile', 'got', 'one', 'talk', 'anyone', 'whod', 'want', 'listen', 'ive', 'trying', 'get', 'therapy', 'idk', 'gonna', 'go', 'cause', 'labor', 'day', 'weekend', 'sg', 'feel', 'likei', 'going', 'insane', 'cant', 'stand', 'feeling', 'like', 'anymore', 'feel', 'likei', 'amstuck', 'shit', 'cant', 'even', 'draw', 'anymore', 'cause', 'wont', 'stop', 'playing', 'mind', 'idk', 'anymoretldri', 'amlosing', 'fast', 'creativity', 'gone', 'life', 'going', 'shit']
172
['want', 'fuck', 'life', 'bad', 'way', 'suicide', 'even', 'though', 'wanna', 'commit', 'suicide', 'think', 'sad', 'family', 'would', 'stay', 'alive', 'family', 'get', 'married', 'make', 'happy', 'new', 'family', 'make', 'live', 'till', 'die', 'thing', 'suicideso', 'fuck', 'life', 'bad', 'suicide', 'way', 'mess', 'bad', 'people', 'get', 'lot', 'debt', 'anger', 'people', 'become', 'someone', 'people', 'hate', 'thati', 'someone', 'people', 'love', 'anyway', 'wont', 'hold', 'back', 'actually', 'carry', 'act', 'free', 'hell']
60
['hit', 'bottom', 'suck', 'early', 'life', 'wa', 'kind', 'good', 'two', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'exercise', 'herniated', 'l', 'disc', 'resulting', 'excruciating', 'sciatica', 'always', 'paini', 'done', 'surgery', 'ago', 'didnt', 'since', 'wa', 'afraid', 'one', 'around', 'take', 'care', 'mei', 'study', 'abroad', 'also', 'friend', 'left', 'ex', 'girlfriend', 'cheated', 'alone', 'time', 'except', 'go', 'class', 'see', 'people', 'around', 'might', 'say', 'hi', 'never', 'go', 'detail', 'abouts', 'one', 'caresi', 'also', 'never', 'complain', 'family', 'let', 'worried', 'recently', 'told', 'surgerynow', 'chance', 'surgery', 'gone', 'ive', 'run', 'holiday', 'due', 'internship', 'lonely', 'pain', 'nothing', 'hope', 'ive', 'found', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'whole', 'time', 'ive', 'also', 'searching', 'way', 'end', 'country', 'stay', 'drug', 'allowed', 'impossible', 'get', 'left', 'jumping', 'building', 'building', 'th', 'floor', 'high', 'think', 'enough', 'another', 'building', 'next', 'mine', 'sh', 'floor', 'reason', 'till', 'family', 'guess', 'gone', 'wont', 'matter', 'hopefully', 'psi', 'tried', 'acupuncture', 'swimming', 'walking', 'improve', 'state', 'still', 'trying', 'noticed', 'improvement', 'maybe', 'better', 'still', 'cant', 'activity', 'like', 'sex', 'partying', 'always', 'bed', 'standing', 'desktopgoingg', 'class', 'hurt', 'much', 'sitting', 'want', 'stand', 'way', 'class', 'shy', 'english', 'first', 'language', 'sorry', 'made', 'post', 'hard', 'read']
159
['suicidal', 'case', 'someone', 'know', 'personally', 'reading', 'wont', 'use', 'real', 'name', 'let', 'say', 'name', 'thomas', 'stevely', 'amfrom', 'back', 'end', 'nowhere', 'uk', 'year', 'old', 'recent', 'mistake', 'lead', 'bringing', 'family', 'lot', 'pain', 'due', 'entirely', 'stupidity', 'life', 'ive', 'wanted', 'help', 'people', 'seem', 'capable', 'hurting', 'closest', 'ha', 'lead', 'struggling', 'maintain', 'relationship', 'friendship', 'ha', 'lead', 'spiralling', 'path', 'self', 'harm', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'dont', 'entirely', 'know', 'whyi', 'ameven', 'writing', 'dont', 'see', 'help', 'many', 'people', 'seem', 'people', 'spoken', 'various', 'forum', 'told', 'help', 'guess', 'pretty', 'much', 'absolute', 'rock', 'bottom', 'right', 'think', 'trying', 'pay', 'pain', 'brought', 'friend', 'family', 'every', 'time', 'try', 'think', 'way', 'pay', 'harm', 'done', 'throughout', 'life', 'keep', 'coming', 'back', 'answer', 'committing', 'suicide', 'know', 'know', 'thati', 'much', 'snivelling', 'pathetic', 'coward', 'actually', 'know', 'really', 'seek', 'professional', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'become', 'better', 'stop', 'blaming', 'know', 'deserve', 'paini', 'amexperiencing', 'get', 'help', 'theni', 'paying', 'pain', 'brought', 'want', 'strong', 'enough', 'simply', 'end', 'miserable', 'existence', 'call', 'lifei', 'sorry', 'seemed', 'kind', 'pathetic', 'whiny', 'ive', 'never', 'good', 'wordsi', 'sure', 'good', 'expect', 'come', 'posting', 'felt', 'needed', 'get', 'chest']
159
['pill', 'whats', 'lethal', 'way', 'kill', 'pill', 'drug', 'thats', 'relatively', 'easy', 'painful', 'really', 'difficult', 'sorting', 'information', 'online', 'thanks']
17
['dont', 'anyone', 'life', 'nobody', 'caresi', 'amliving', 'hate', 'dont', 'want', 'live']
10
['wtf', 'life', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'starti', 'met', 'girl', 'dream', 'year', 'ago', 'shes', 'perfect', 'every', 'way', 'year', 'ago', 'got', 'together', 'lost', 'job', 'move', 'febuary', 'year', 'itd', 'six', 'month', 'decided', 'best', 'option', 'would', 'move', 'norway', 'live', 'full', 'time', 'stayed', 'week', 'prior', 'stayed', 'mine', 'month', 'plus', 'weekend', 'visit', 'etcso', 'uprooted', 'life', 'loaded', 'vehicle', 'posessions', 'literally', 'drove', 'day', 'remaining', 'money', 'etc', 'norway', 'uksince', 'arrived', 'ive', 'trying', 'get', 'work', 'easy', 'without', 'knowing', 'language', 'although', 'learning', 'time', 'hard', 'wa', 'getting', 'money', 'uk', 'untill', 'month', 'ago', 'wa', 'helping', 'however', 'stopped', 'nowyesterday', 'sits', 'tell', 'working', 'want', 'leave', 'money', 'stress', 'ha', 'difficult', 'month', 'caused', 'slowly', 'start', 'resenting', 'longer', 'love', 'doesnt', 'think', 'feeling', 'come', 'back', 'want', 'dont', 'use', 'money', 'eating', 'food', 'etc', 'shes', 'given', 'le', 'weeki', 'dont', 'blame', 'know', 'hard', 'shes', 'super', 'good', 'cant', 'easy', 'hersoi', 'amstuck', 'norway', 'clothes', 'bike', 'pc', 'stuff', 'small', 'van', 'worth', 'money', 'nowhere', 'go', 'completely', 'depressed', 'devastated', 'woman', 'love', 'anything', 'ha', 'basically', 'thrown', 'away', 'dont', 'know', 'anyone', 'apart', 'relative', 'even', 'somehow', 'manage', 'sell', 'posessions', 'fast', 'flying', 'back', 'uk', 'homelessness', 'joblessnessi', 'nothing', 'noone', 'wtf', 'id', 'dont', 'wish', 'sound', 'emo', 'think', 'brain', 'easiest', 'solution', 'overdose', 'take', 'easy', 'way']
180
['id', 'love', 'wake', 'chronic', 'pain', 'soon', 'jobless', 'also', 'mean', 'homeless', 'everything', 'act', 'typing', 'painfuli', 'amjust', 'tired', 'lying', 'constantly', 'get', 'day', 'ive', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'multiple', 'time', 'throughout', 'life', 'attempt', 'ive', 'done', 'best', 'recover', 'crack', 'truth', 'wish', 'id', 'succeeded', 'first', 'time', 'thing', 'havent', 'gotten', 'better', 'year', 'since', 'first', 'attempt', 'two', 'decade', 'since', 'none', 'ha', 'worth', 'physical', 'psychic', 'pain', 'carrying', 'give', 'three', 'wish', 'id', 'succeeded', 'back', 'first']
64
['count', 'blessing', 'hard', 'describe', 'anymore', 'everything', 'dull', 'every', 'activity', 'seems', 'like', 'waste', 'relationship', 'school', 'work', 'waste', 'time', 'havent', 'happy', 'ten', 'year', 'consideringi', 'amtwenty', 'two', 'seems', 'like', 'eternity', 'remember', 'watching', 'sister', 'attempt', 'suicide', 'remember', 'cleaning', 'copious', 'amount', 'blood', 'parent', 'took', 'hospital', 'wa', 'ten', 'life', 'ha', 'rocky', 'since', 'never', 'went', 'school', 'wa', 'fight', 'someone', 'generally', 'fuck', 'education', 'one', 'way', 'another', 'never', 'went', 'highschool', 'wa', 'expelled', 'bout', 'state', 'trooper', 'punched', 'face', 'soon', 'wa', 'long', 'road', 'nowhere', 'ended', 'juvenile', 'detention', 'center', 'asi', 'amsure', 'wouldve', 'assumed', 'getting', 'kicked', 'time', 'kicking', 'time', 'wa', 'time', 'go', 'little', 'know', 'wa', 'heading', 'right', 'another', 'abyss', 'world', 'shove', 'unwanted', 'problem', 'child', 'wa', 'meet', 'new', 'patient', 'people', 'like', 'call', 'friend', 'even', 'thirteen', 'year', 'old', 'away', 'home', 'abandoned', 'full', 'anger', 'hate', 'sadness', 'felt', 'abandoned', 'family', 'wanted', 'everything', 'go', 'away', 'feeling', 'people', 'medication', 'l', 'wanted', 'normal', 'would', 'feel', 'go', 'highschool', 'would', 'highschool', 'sweetheart', 'would', 'friend', 'would', 'even', 'mattered', 'never', 'get', 'chance', 'go', 'one', 'sunday', 'evening', 'march', 'ifi', 'mistaken', 'wa', 'home', 'weekend', 'wa', 'lying', 'floor', 'computer', 'didnt', 'bed', 'desk', 'felt', 'really', 'alone', 'glance', 'around', 'room', 'didnt', 'help', 'realized', 'nobody', 'need', 'besides', 'nothing', 'give', 'moment', 'knewone', 'seroquel', 'two', 'three', 'helping', 'four', 'five', 'six', 'feeling', 'something', 'seven', 'eight', 'nine', 'didnt', 'want', 'feeling', 'ten', 'eleven', 'twelve', 'going', 'away', 'thirteen', 'fourteen', 'fifteen', 'gone', 'soon', 'started', 'fading', 'consciousness', 'entire', 'ride', 'back', 'rtf', 'remember', 'wondering', 'id', 'die', 'backseat', 'bed', 'night', 'couldnt', 'finish', 'thought', 'wa', 'like', 'light', 'woke', 'two', 'day', 'later', 'anxious', 'confused', 'remembered', 'fuck', 'kind', 'asshole', 'cant', 'even', 'without', 'fucking', 'five', 'year', 'later', 'goddamn', 'feeling', 'creeping', 'back', 'could', 'definitely', 'use', 'friend']
251
['started', 'school', 'hell', 'mei', 'amhonestly', 'debating', 'suicide', 'point', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'ever', 'since', 'started', 'school', 'anxiety', 'ha', 'roof', 'parent', 'divorcedi', 'live', 'mom', 'mom', 'financially', 'stable', 'right', 'dad', 'abuse', 'shit', 'ton', 'every', 'time', 'see', 'friend', 'internet', 'real', 'life', 'bad', 'cuttingself', 'harm', 'problem', 'ive', 'tried', 'multiple', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'failed', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'school', 'feel', 'uncomfortable', 'mom', 'wont', 'look', 'online', 'school', 'homeschool', 'piss', 'even', 'morei', 'hate', 'life', 'feel', 'like', 'thats', 'left', 'fucking']
69
['dont', 'reason', 'live', 'anymore', 'ive', 'much', 'trying', 'grow', 'past', 'abusive', 'upbringing', 'actually', 'live', 'life', 'still', 'weak', 'useless', 'started', 'cant', 'even', 'imagine', 'anymore', 'world', 'happiness', 'could', 'ever', 'happen', 'dont', 'reference', 'experience', 'meaning', 'happiness', 'even', 'love', 'single', 'person', 'want', 'understandable', 'cant', 'give', 'even', 'penny', 'worth', 'value', 'joy', 'anyone', 'literally', 'point', 'existence', 'cant', 'anymore']
51
['fuck', 'everything', 'nothing', 'left', 'look', 'forward', 'nothing', 'look', 'possibly', 'get', 'gcse', 'one', 'ive', 'given', 'others', 'useless', 'life', 'social', 'life', 'cant', 'handle', 'people', 'slightest', 'curl', 'bench', 'break', 'coat', 'protecting', 'outside', 'world', 'wasnt', 'always', 'way', 'ive', 'realised', 'since', 'march', 'mother', 'committed', 'suicide', 'day', 'entire', 'world', 'came', 'crushing', 'downi', 'guess', 'id', 'better', 'explain', 'ive', 'always', 'grown', 'poverty', 'cant', 'afford', 'computer', 'console', 'level', 'poverty', 'mean', 'scraping', 'around', 'underneath', 'sofa', 'cushion', 'p', 'try', 'get', 'bread', 'milkbut', 'wa', 'happy', 'taught', 'appreciate', 'little', 'worry', 'didnt', 'thats', 'thing', 'first', 'year', 'lifein', 'long', 'moved', 'house', 'mother', 'became', 'friend', 'man', 'road', 'summer', 'last', 'year', 'invited', 'play', 'pokemon', 'go', 'admitted', 'loved', 'eachother', 'within', 'month', 'hed', 'moved', 'march', 'theyd', 'sent', 'marriage', 'formsso', 'mother', 'man', 'love', 'nearly', 'year', 'old', 'daughter', 'getting', 'ready', 'uni', 'year', 'old', 'trying', 'gcse', 'year', 'old', 'figuring', 'optionsll', 'surely', 'exciting', 'time', 'parentapparently', 'th', 'march', 'day', 'sent', 'marriage', 'form', 'mum', 'killed', 'didnt', 'leave', 'note', 'didnt', 'say', 'goodbye', 'way', 'went', 'shop', 'never', 'returnedat', 'point', 'social', 'scrambling', 'figure', 'u', 'rent', 'situation', 'alright', 'fiance', 'look', 'uscome', 'mid', 'april', 'decided', 'doesnt', 'care', 'u', 'instead', 'giving', 'u', 'warning', 'pack', 'leaf', 'first', 'thing', 'knew', 'wa', 'social', 'calling', 'sister', 'let', 'know', 'wouldnt', 'able', 'look', 'year', 'old', 'brother', 'wed', 'put', 'foster', 'home', 'took', 'month', 'u', 'moved', 'brother', 'literally', 'cannot', 'share', 'room', 'near', 'train', 'station', 'could', 'visit', 'older', 'brother', 'sisterso', 'wa', 'forced', 'move', 'mile', 'away', 'town', 'id', 'never', 'even', 'heard', 'house', 'upper', 'class', 'cunt', 'think', 'everyone', 'exactly', 'like', 'make', 'pay', 'literally', 'everything', 'clothes', 'light', 'bulb', 'room', 'pen', 'pencil', 'despite', 'letting', 'look', 'even', 'summer', 'job', 'cornershop', 'school', 'full', 'uppermiddle', 'class', 'people', 'whove', 'obviously', 'never', 'go', 'without', 'anything', 'look', 'upon', 'poor', 'try', 'explain', 'someone', 'art', 'class', 'hunger', 'feel', 'likethe', 'biggest', 'factor', 'final', 'decision', 'people', 'live', 'like', 'others', 'like', 'mother', 'kill', 'even', 'starve', 'death', 'britain', 'theyre', 'barely', 'even', 'earning', 'quarter', 'poverty', 'line', 'future', 'thats', 'look', 'forward', 'toheres', 'left', 'school', 'start', 'helping', 'mother', 'depression', 'making', 'thing', 'hard', 'ended', 'time', 'homeed', 'qualification', 'cant', 'around', 'people', 'cant', 'praise', 'cv', 'gonna', 'impossible', 'fat', 'amateur', 'football', 'club', 'turn', 'goalie', 'despite', 'better', 'least', 'turning', 'consistently', 'starting', 'keeper', 'lack', 'playing', 'made', 'fatter', 'sadder', 'started', 'comfort', 'eating', 'cant', 'stopand', 'past', 'week', 'ive', 'noticed', 'waking', 'early', 'hour', 'morning', 'notebook', 'lap', 'pen', 'hand', 'another', 'page', 'thought', 'keep', 'firmly', 'locked', 'inside', 'head', 'part', 'sprawled', 'across', 'another', 'page', 'stuff', 'like', 'people', 'version', 'lost', 'touch', 'really', 'life', 'gift', 'answer', 'christian', 'people', 'dying', 'starvation', 'britain', 'foster', 'carers', 'name', 'stuff', 'pocket', 'people', 'like', 'shouldnt', 'exist', 'voice', 'live', 'get', 'fuck', 'please', 'ooh', 'page', 'say', 'fix', 'please', 'please', 'help', 'please', 'dont', 'know', 'half', 'page', 'end', 'never', 'end', 'never', 'end', 'never', 'end', 'looping', 'swear', 'ive', 'heard', 'somewhere', 'followed', 'half', 'page', 'ofi', 'amscared', 'dont', 'come', 'near', 'said', 'stay', 'back', 'good', 'please', 'help', 'mummy', 'way', 'show', 'show', 'page', 'scared', 'anymorei', 'amready', 'final', 'dance', 'thats', 'highlight', 'swear', 'thenonexistentgodi', 'making', 'upthe', 'thing', 'thats', 'held', 'long', 'thought', 'brother', 'find', 'lifeless', 'dont', 'care', 'dont', 'tell', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'right', 'ive', 'still', 'got', 'year', 'left', 'dont', 'end', 'thats', 'try', 'everything', 'vain', 'fix', 'future', 'dont', 'want', 'long', 'poverty', 'ive', 'grown', 'unlike', 'mother', 'cant', 'make', 'last', 'week', 'dont', 'care', 'selfish', 'suicide', 'selfishthanks', 'reading', 'even', 'though', 'know', 'youre', 'rolling', 'eye', 'thought', 'yet', 'another', 'depressed', 'teen']
504
['part', 'doubt', 'people', 'even', 'consider', 'option', 'table', 'mom', 'threatened', 'dont', 'anything', 'long', 'runid', 'thrown', 'far', 'remote', 'place', 'went', 'back', 'word', 'trying', 'help', 'get', 'back', 'schooli', 'weighed', 'option', 'tried', 'job', 'call', 'center', 'relative', 'mine', 'wa', 'starting', 'work', 'wa', 'able', 'pas', 'everything', 'wa', 'put', 'hold', 'since', 'dont', 'proper', 'professional', 'reference', 'got', 'laughed', 'dont', 'know', 'relative', 'much', 'even', 'mislabeled', 'inlaw', 'mine', 'uncle', 'asked', 'relative', 'past', 'currently', 'working', 'field', 'company', 'applied', 'relative', 'finally', 'agreed', 'really', 'wa', 'isolated', 'parent', 'far', 'long', 'since', 'told', 'hr', 'friend', 'long', 'gone', 'moved', 'another', 'country', 'professional', 'referencesi', 'amofficially', 'cutting', 'communication', 'parent', 'problem', 'fixed', 'mean', 'idea', 'sent', 'problem', 'rather', 'solution', 'original', 'problem', 'made', 'go', 'person', 'ha', 'quota', 'come', 'taking', 'wa', 'badly', 'hurt', 'hr', 'asked', 'proper', 'set', 'friendsshe', 'must', 'weirded', 'said', 'must', 'first', 'time', 'seeing', 'applicant', 'ha', 'set', 'friend', 'since', 'people', 'knew', 'went', 'country', 'one', 'recently', 'knew', 'changed', 'contact', 'unable', 'contact', 'adding', 'insult', 'injury', 'wa', 'hurt', 'mom', 'reversed', 'psychology', 'told', 'issue', 'fault', 'hard', 'time', 'making', 'friend', 'dont', 'friend', 'fuck', 'friend', 'alot', 'thembut', 'wa', 'forced', 'parent', 'cut', 'communication', 'issue', 'trying', 'get', 'job']
169
['cancer', 'several', 'symptom', 'cancer', 'inon', 'body', 'although', 'wished', 'couple', 'year', 'back', 'get', 'sicknessdisease', 'since', 'wa', 'pussy', 'hangcutfalldie', 'kill', 'irrelevant', 'life', 'thing', 'encouraging', 'continue', 'mediocre', 'music', 'fund', 'afford', 'beat', 'copyright', 'fantsy', 'equipment', 'buy', 'well', 'really', 'mediocre', 'exceptionally', 'well', 'written', 'tbh', 'review', 'several', 'people', 'commended', 'even', 'wanted', 'pursue', 'overwhelmed', 'rather', 'play', 'video', 'game', 'ease', 'depression', 'sigh', 'imma', 'wait', 'stage', 'currently', 'stage', 'guessi', 'expiring', 'bomb']
62
['tried', 'goodbye']
2
['going', 'kill', 'final']
3
['feeling', 'coming', 'strong', 'going', 'away', 'year', 'half', 'ago', 'posted', 'many', 'thing', 'remained', 'since', 'made', 'post', 'one', 'constantly', 'feeling', 'guilty', 'work', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'time', 'getting', 'making', 'plan', 'suicide', 'guilt', 'leaving', 'parent', 'without', 'child', 'however', 'week', 'back', 'one', 'close', 'friend', 'died', 'think', 'likely', 'suicide', 'wa', 'child', 'parent', 'going', 'grow', 'old', 'without', 'child', 'side', 'ha', 'got', 'thinking', 'parent', 'deal', 'grief', 'make', 'parent', 'special', 'immune', 'pain', 'wrote', 'note', 'heap', 'emotion', 'holiday', 'weekend', 'even', 'though', 'emotion', 'mostly', 'returned', 'neutral', 'word', 'note', 'still', 'hold', 'true', 'think', 'seems', 'objectively', 'acceptable', 'choice', 'sure', 'wherei', 'going', 'wanted', 'post']
89
['trapped', 'breathing', 'panic', 'quit', 'job', 'move', 'back', 'myparents', 'cause', 'job', 'making', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'worse', 'worse', 'quitting', 'talking', 'getting', 'yelled', 'need', 'get', 'clinical', 'depression', 'theyre', 'gonna', 'put', 'worki', 'amjust', 'scared', 'say', 'goodbye', 'friend', 'theyre', 'military', 'dont', 'understand', 'feel', 'really', 'give', 'everything', 'dont', 'belong', 'anywhere', 'honestly', 'think', 'jump', 'bridge']
47
['think', 'happens', 'diei', 'really', 'hoping', 'fade', 'black', 'like', 'soprano']
9
['good', 'time', 'gone', 'fault', 'worthless', 'man', 'wish', 'would', 'die', 'people', 'smile', 'secretly', 'dont', 'care', 'whether', 'see', 'cant', 'trustedi', 'ama', 'horrible', 'personive', 'thought', 'suicide', 'lot', 'thing', 'would', 'better', 'everyonehavent', 'proper', 'meal', 'since', 'last', 'thursday', 'anxiety', 'starving', 'deserve']
36
['told', 'mom', 'thati', 'amtaking', 'transgender', 'hormone', 'thati', 'amtaking', 'semester', 'college', 'dont', 'know', 'right', 'havent', 'suicidal', 'since', 'high', 'school', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'ifi', 'amsuicidal', 'right', 'amhaving', 'thought', 'right', 'leading', 'trying', 'kill', 'week', 'month', 'three', 'year', 'agomy', 'mom', 'wa', 'disappointed', 'told', 'thingsi', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'thingsi', 'ama', 'fuckup', 'kind', 'feel', 'way', 'myselfi', 'sure', 'ever', 'achieve', 'want', 'hormone', 'keep', 'wondering', 'end', 'everythingi', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'way', 'thing', 'hated', 'suicidal', 'high', 'school', 'wa', 'real', 'fight', 'leading', 'suicidal', 'part', 'almost', 'woni', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'right', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'way', 'dont', 'know', 'keep', 'living', 'despise', 'look', 'mirror', 'feel', 'hatred', 'towards', 'appearance', 'really', 'truly', 'hate', 'dont', 'know', 'fix']
101
['alive', 'long', 'wa', 'mistake', 'bye']
5
['hey', 'therei', 'depressed', 'ive', 'never', 'experienced', 'anything', 'particularly', 'tragic', 'traumatic', 'life', 'isnt', 'tough', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'living', 'iti', 'dont', 'like', 'anyone', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'anything', 'good', 'night', 'going', 'bed', 'lol']
28
['much', 'deliberation', 'come', 'conclusion', 'time', 'life', 'endi', 'amjust', 'pleased', 'life', 'feel', 'like', 'man', 'placeout', 'time', 'bunch', 'self', 'renovation', 'wont', 'culminate', 'fixed', 'souli', 'amjust', 'empty', 'shell', 'tried', 'hard', 'long', 'tried', 'long', 'hard', 'fix', 'none', 'wa', 'cure', 'willness', 'vexes', 'meim', 'live', 'parent', 'getting', 'government', 'subsidy', 'mental', 'willness', 'get', 'twice', 'week', 'asshole', 'best', 'friend', 'weigh', 'hundred', 'dollar', 'name', 'used', 'certified', 'let', 'expire', 'ibs', 'amborderline', 'diabetic', 'cholesterol', 'damn', 'high', 'whats', 'point', 'feel', 'like', 'dying', 'would', 'everyone', 'favor']
73
['much', 'everything', 'feel', 'heavy', 'moment', 'antidepressant', 'working', 'like', 'monthsi', 'sure', 'wrong', 'past', 'week', 'ive', 'getting', 'depressed', 'suicidal', 'swear', 'havent', 'missed', 'dose', 'dont', 'know', 'fuck', 'wrong', 'mei', 'amwondering', 'quit', 'taking', 'since', 'clearly', 'something', 'fucked', 'either', 'way', 'cant', 'get', 'static', 'head', 'stop', 'usually', 'rational', 'voice', 'inside', 'head', 'telling', 'anything', 'stupid', 'dont', 'hear', 'right', 'dont', 'know', 'talk', 'ask', 'friend', 'help', 'itll', 'feel', 'like', 'help', 'isnt', 'genuine']
63
['id', 'rather', 'take', 'life', 'let', 'father', 'father', 'said', 'ever', 'caught', 'smoking', 'weed', 'tobacco', 'hed', 'shoot', 'well', 'found', 'pipe', 'vape', 'stuff', 'guess', 'goodbye', 'hear', 'finding', 'guni', 'want', 'die', 'dignity', 'going', 'take', 'thing', 'handsthank', 'reddit', 'best', 'community', 'ever', 'joinedgoodbye', 'world']
38
['pussy', 'pull', 'triggeri', 'stressed', 'everyone', 'put', 'pressure', 'dont', 'see', 'stressed', 'cant', 'even', 'perform', 'simple', 'task', 'fact', 'dont', 'even', 'gut', 'pull', 'triggeri', 'amjust', 'sitting', 'barrel', 'mouth', 'looking', 'chance', 'die']
28
['dont', 'think', 'someone', 'thats', 'capable', 'truly', 'loving', 'mei', 'dont', 'thinki', 'ama', 'terrible', 'looking', 'person', 'every', 'relationship', 'try', 'fails', 'try', 'good', 'person', 'caring', 'accepting', 'fault', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'like', 'someone', 'accept', 'fault', 'ptsd', 'anxious', 'person', 'really', 'try', 'big', 'offering', 'heart', 'seems', 'like', 'scare', 'everyone', 'dating', 'wise', 'making', 'feel', 'worthless', 'unimportant', 'want', 'feel', 'desired']
51
['sorry', 'found', 'subreddit', 'overwhelmed', 'amount', 'positive', 'support', 'given', 'thank', 'everyone', 'ha', 'spoken', 'really', 'helped', 'take', 'break', 'ha', 'heartbreaking', 'start', 'pm', 'people', 'go', 'silent', 'fear', 'spoken', 'longer', 'usto', 'help', 'know', 'hard', 'trust', 'someone', 'nearly', 'threw', 'infront', 'train', 'yes', 'people', 'understand', 'receiving', 'therapy', 'people', 'support', 'therapist', 'feel', 'good', 'guru', 'able', 'help', 'like', 'actually', 'went', 'hell', 'back', 'please', 'give', 'chance', 'even', 'dont', 'believe', 'total', 'stranger', 'want', 'happytoday', 'itage', 'day', 'country', 'drinking', 'beer', 'wish', 'good', 'fortune', 'visit', 'seeking', 'help', 'giving', 'itsee', 'later', 'totsiens', 'tot', 'ziens', 'auf', 'wiedersehen', 'shalom', 'au', 'revoir', 'svidaniya', 'sl', 'n']
89
['need', 'help', 'asap', 'guy', 'texted', 'kik', 'really', 'generic', 'story', 'emotional', 'abusive', 'mother', 'send', 'scar', 'thought', 'wa', 'lying', 'fun', 'little', 'virtual', 'seduction', 'using', 'gifs', 'went', 'love', 'started', 'telling', 'jump', 'roof', 'dont', 'reply', 'told', 'wa', 'fun', 'wasnt', 'serious', 'continuously', 'told', 'wa', 'virtual', 'nowi', 'amhaving', 'panic', 'attack', 'arrested', 'actually', 'kill', 'met', 'omegle', 'obviously', 'thought', 'wa', 'trap', 'help']
54
['cannot', 'get', 'courage', 'electrocute', 'walk', 'past', 'electrical', 'station', 'everyday', 'way', 'work', 'surrounded', 'electrical', 'fence', 'figure', 'able', 'get', 'gate', 'touch', 'one', 'tower', 'night', 'night', 'last', 'thursday', 'decided', 'get', 'everything', 'else', 'set', 'least', 'try', 'typed', 'email', 'mommy', 'sister', 'bos', 'word', 'doc', 'cleaned', 'tiny', 'apartment', 'shine', 'sold', 'bunch', 'stuff', 'wa', 'supposed', 'last', 'friday', 'sat', 'next', 'plant', 'nearly', 'three', 'hour', 'went', 'home', 'defeated', 'sunday', 'bought', 'favorite', 'rum', 'got', 'really', 'drunk', 'still', 'pussied', 'ended', 'falling', 'asleep', 'street', 'walked', 'home', 'midnight', 'havent', 'decided', 'day', 'feel', 'confident', 'get', 'method', 'fucking', 'starting', 'think', 'gun', 'better', 'quicker', 'want', 'left', 'vegetable', 'remaining', 'family', 'find', 'burdened', 'asking', 'assume', 'others', 'subreddit', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'might', 'insight', 'p', 'rifle', 'enough', 'kill', 'experienced', 'gun', 'seems', 'small']
111
['really', 'dont', 'understand', 'whyi', 'amsuicidal', 'life', 'great', 'got', 'university', 'applied', 'made', 'bunch', 'new', 'friend', 'even', 'someone', 'really', 'fancy', 'yet', 'thing', 'want', 'end', 'want', 'drop', 'uni', 'nothing', 'rest', 'short', 'life', 'already', 'skipped', 'week', 'lecture', 'able', 'lay', 'think', 'anythingi', 'never', 'considered', 'suicide', 'good', 'option', 'recently', 'dont', 'understand']
45
['climb', 'internet', 'reception', 'tower', 'near', 'home', 'havent', 'slept', 'day', 'cant', 'even', 'remember', 'wa', 'going', 'say', 'update', 'get', 'topedit', 'walking', 'reason', 'chronic', 'depersonalizationderealization', 'disorder', 'left', 'rest', 'life', 'multitude', 'reason']
28
['ama', 'suicide', 'birthdayi', 'amcommitting', 'suicide', 'today', 'approximately', 'hr', 'today', 'also', 'birthday', 'ask', 'anything']
13
['amsuch', 'bad', 'person', 'want', 'change', 'cant', 'dont', 'know', 'right', 'place', 'post', 'since', 'mention', 'suicide', 'ive', 'decided', 'post', 'told', 'mom', 'wanted', 'see', 'therapist', 'back', 'february', 'still', 'yet', 'ha', 'make', 'appointment', 'one', 'dont', 'think', 'want', 'get', 'help', 'asked', 'many', 'time', 'get', 'answer', 'call', 'tomorrow', 'day', 'week', 'think', 'give', 'hope', 'getting', 'help', 'need', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'managed', 'stay', 'hopeful', 'long', 'day', 'feel', 'motivated', 'much', 'energy', 'feel', 'like', 'could', 'anything', 'become', 'world', 'greatest', 'dog', 'trainer', 'one', 'best', 'magician', 'dumb', 'thing', 'like', 'get', 'much', 'done', 'day', 'like', 'clean', 'talk', 'new', 'people', 'share', 'crazy', 'idea', 'plan', 'day', 'feel', 'frustrated', 'depressed', 'end', 'taking', 'anger', 'family', 'beating', 'questioning', 'identity', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'exhausting', 'many', 'impulsive', 'thing', 'regret', 'later', 'made', 'many', 'friend', 'last', 'year', 'cut', 'contact', 'group', 'didnt', 'message', 'first', 'broke', 'two', 'phone', 'person', 'wa', 'calling', 'didnt', 'pick', 'adopted', 'two', 'cat', 'knowing', 'cant', 'time', 'two', 'cat', 'mom', 'two', 'cat', 'adopted', 'live', 'dad', 'dad', 'almost', 'never', 'home', 'job', 'tried', 'fail', 'certain', 'class', 'friend', 'wa', 'going', 'fail', 'didnt', 'want', 'lonely', 'dropped', 'band', 'class', 'teacher', 'told', 'practice', 'instrument', 'stopped', 'going', 'high', 'school', 'joined', 'homeschooling', 'program', 'finish', 'education', 'early', 'dont', 'reason', 'could', 'go', 'stupid', 'thing', 'ive', 'done', 'impulsively', 'post', 'would', 'way', 'longi', 'amselfish', 'deluded', 'hate', 'drink', 'dr', 'pepper', 'cope', 'go', 'ahead', 'laugh', 'ambeing', 'serious', 'teeth', 'terrible', 'soda', 'drink', 'point', 'feel', 'like', 'dying', 'way', 'hopefully', 'cold', 'currently', 'worsen', 'die', 'way']
215
['preparation', 'ready', 'cant', 'hold', 'strong', 'much', 'longer', 'said', 'wa', 'gonna', 'kill', 'hadnt', 'relationship', 'even', 'tho', 'havent', 'gone', 'trough', 'feel', 'like', 'slowly', 'killling', 'ever', 'since', 'day', 'last', 'year', 'isolating', 'ruining', 'friendship', 'ruining', 'family', 'bond', 'becoming', 'worthless', 'know', 'nobody', 'gonna', 'miss', 'feel', 'ready', 'go', 'trough', 'bullshit', 'knife', 'trough', 'heart', 'maybe', 'alcohol', 'numb', 'pain', 'thats', 'probably', 'th', 'momus', 'sorry']
56
['need', 'everything', 'stop', 'hello', 'made', 'post', 'three', 'week', 'ago', 'saying', 'wa', 'giving', 'life', 'another', 'chance', 'didnt', 'work', 'id', 'attempt', 'th', 'well', 'look', 'tried', 'kill', 'bridge', 'ended', 'go', 'hospital', 'kept', 'school', 'parent', 'anxiously', 'looking', 'shoulder', 'past', 'two', 'week', 'honestly', 'wish', 'died', 'right', 'nothing', 'gotten', 'better', 'friend', 'hate', 'blame', 'everything', 'really', 'wasnt', 'drama', 'begin', 'meddler', 'gonna', 'meddle', 'guess', 'ex', 'well', 'go', 'straight', 'hell', 'maybe', 'see', 'diehonestly', 'though', 'attempt', 'may', 'scared', 'little', 'doubt', 'live', 'see', 'halloween', 'rather', 'dont', 'exactly', 'want', 'like', 'would', 'spur', 'moment', 'decision', 'note', 'little', 'individual', 'message', 'written', 'fucker', 'made', 'everything', 'worse', 'guessi', 'amjust', 'waiting', 'another', 'reason', 'go', 'stay', 'alive', 'everything', 'ha', 'gone', 'shit']
103
['ambeginning', 'move', 'towards', 'ending', 'everything', 'ive', 'finally', 'given', 'hoping', 'thing', 'ever', 'get', 'better', 'ive', 'trying', 'fighting', 'decade', 'tired', 'thing', 'keep', 'failing', 'anywaysoi', 'amstarting', 'get', 'rid', 'possession', 'push', 'away', 'friend', 'family', 'etc', 'best', 'slowly', 'one', 'really', 'notice', 'imagine', 'take', 'month', 'least', 'fine', 'need', 'figure', 'get', 'money', 'together', 'get', 'thing', 'need', 'anyway', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'whyi', 'ambother', 'write', 'part', 'probably', 'doesnt', 'want', 'die', 'yet', 'still', 'trying', 'find', 'comfort', 'hope', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'stop', 'existing', 'point', 'anymore']
74
['week', 'might', 'ive', 'thinking', 'seriously', 'past', 'month', 'think', 'might', 'finally', 'maybe', 'even', 'tomorrow', 'ive', 'started', 'looking', 'every', 'interaction', 'context', 'ive', 'thinking', 'want', 'last', 'day', 'thingsi', 'amjust', 'really', 'tired', 'really', 'readyi', 'ammaking', 'peace', 'week', 'ago', 'set', 'clinic', 'therapy', 'still', 'waiting', 'get', 'assigned', 'therapist', 'monday', 'might', 'try', 'go', 'talk', 'oncall', 'therapist', 'like', 'told', 'couldi', 'amjust', 'worried', 'hospitalizedi', 'amtotally', 'uninsured', 'cant', 'afford', 'wa', 'one', 'thing', 'keeping', 'trying', 'kill', 'dont', 'way', 'work', 'cant', 'fail', 'hospital', 'maybe', 'talking', 'mean', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'thing', 'therapy', 'ive', 'ten', 'year', 'since', 'wa', 'ten', 'year', 'old', 'going', 'thing', 'something', 'really', 'wrong', 'apparently', 'maybe', 'dont', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'bad', 'enough', 'know', 'faulti', 'kind', 'want', 'tell', 'someone', 'roommate', 'idea', 'anything', 'going', 'cant', 'talk', 'keep', 'thinking', 'reaction', 'want', 'someone', 'know', 'might', 'really', 'methis', 'far', 'life', 'wa', 'supposed', 'go', 'ive', 'process', 'accepting', 'yeari', 'ammaking', 'peace', 'realised', 'make', 'happy', 'think', 'howi', 'amalmost', 'done', 'hopefully', 'end', 'thats', 'something', 'cant', 'remember', 'ever', 'feeling', 'ideation', 'previous', 'attempt', 'feel', 'really', 'significant', 'guessi', 'amjust', 'done']
156
['feeling', 'low', 'know', 'needed', 'reach', 'f', 'pm', 'want', 'writing', 'help', 'structure', 'thought']
12
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205
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9
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33
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166
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8
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204
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87
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120
['tried', 'failed', 'kill', 'last', 'week', 'feel', 'much', 'worsei', 'amto', 'tried', 'anything', 'feel', 'like', 'even', 'failure', 'thing', 'keep', 'getting', 'worse', 'want', 'stop']
21
['zoloft', 'week', 'dont', 'miss', 'feeling', 'like', 'thing', 'holding', 'back', 'relapsing', 'cutting', 'dont', 'want', 'deal', 'mess', 'afterwards', 'really', 'want', 'kill', 'dont', 'feel', 'likei', 'worth', 'anything', 'ever', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'life', 'wont', 'really', 'amount', 'much', 'whats', 'even', 'point', 'living', 'youre', 'miserablei', 'tired', 'always', 'falling', 'back', 'depression', 'safe', 'spot', 'push', 'everyone', 'fear', 'hurting', 'hurt', 'processi', 'amjust', 'tired', 'everything', 'really', 'wanna', 'keep', 'trying']
59
['doe', 'ever', 'stop', 'hurting', 'day', 'day', 'year', 'resilience', 'thining', 'death', 'mind', 'dont', 'know', 'ever', 'stop', 'hurting', 'sometimes', 'hurt', 'time', 'hurt', 'le', 'hope', 'youll', 'hang', 'hug']
25
['bad', 'day', 'away', 'really', 'dont', 'like', 'talking', 'thing', 'need', 'help', 'feel', 'like', 'bad', 'day', 'away', 'killing', 'right', 'mostly', 'fantasize', 'either', 'slitting', 'wrist', 'popping', 'pill', 'sick', 'think', 'suicide', 'anything', 'else', 'girl', 'future', 'funmy', 'thought', 'consumed', 'suicide', 'almost', 'senior', 'high', 'school', 'slipping', 'recently', 'fucking', 'terrified', 'relapse', 'luckily', 'made', 'point', 'cut', 'druggies', 'life', 'like', 'hard', 'get', 'whatever', 'want', 'got', 'new', 'case', 'manager', 'idea', 'talk', 'wa', 'finally', 'drop', 'old', 'one', 'year', 'meeting', 'took', 'awhile', 'get', 'comfortable', 'ha', 'transferred', 'still', 'see', 'idea', 'talk', 'go', 'group', 'therapy', 'talking', 'issue', 'dont', 'seem', 'help', 'guess', 'nice', 'knowing', 'people', 'understand', 'one', 'express', 'thing', 'dont', 'want', 'someone', 'problem', 'reputation', 'nice', 'hardworking', 'know', 'people', 'look', 'dont', 'want', 'disappoint', 'want', 'get', 'point', 'struggling', 'survive', 'feel', 'self', 'destruction', 'inside', 'dont', 'know', 'explain', 'happy', 'fuck', 'people', 'actually', 'feel', 'good']
125
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65
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7
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97
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46
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165
['yeahi', 'amdonei', 'amjust', 'gonna', 'get', 'weekendfuck', 'thiskind', 'goodbye', 'everyone', 'real', 'amdoneim', 'tired', 'feel', 'nothing']
14
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24
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640
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28
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102
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54
['dont', 'fucking', 'need', 'fuck', 'bullshit', 'fucking', 'life', 'nothing', 'wasting', 'time', 'every', 'fucking', 'person', 'know', 'horrible', 'person', 'useless', 'suck', 'literally', 'everything', 'single', 'reason', 'alive', 'fuck', 'must', 'something', 'killing', 'tried', 'already', 'still', 'think', 'best', 'option', 'dont', 'even', 'care', 'anymore', 'hurt', 'anyone', 'bullshit', 'worth']
41
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236
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137
['update', 'tried', 'hang', 'last', 'night', 'rope', 'came', 'undone', 'last', 'second', 'still', 'called', 'friend', 'hysteric', 'stayed', 'house', 'came', 'home', 'today', 'told', 'husband', 'phased', 'actually', 'went', 'sleep', 'little', 'bit', 'ago', 'since', 'friend', 'supportive', 'stay', 'awhile', 'emotional', 'support', 'really', 'important']
37
['amscaredi', 'amfinally', 'going', 'kill', 'thats', 'iti', 'amscaredi', 'going', 'still', 'make', 'throwaway', 'post', 'becausei', 'amscared', 'someone', 'finding', 'really', 'part', 'hope', 'someone', 'doe', 'ive', 'given', 'life', 'year', 'waiting', 'get', 'betteri', 'amdrained', 'feel', 'empty', 'sure', 'short', 'period', 'feel', 'ok', 'pushing', 'way', 'every', 'day', 'feeling', 'complete', 'worthlessness', 'ha', 'depleted', 'used', 'say', 'thing', 'keeping', 'killing', 'wa', 'old', 'dog', 'best', 'friend', 'dead', 'month', 'day', 'nowi', 'amscared']
60
['amjust', 'tiredi', 'tired', 'pretendingi', 'amhappy', 'every', 'dayi', 'tired', 'trying', 'friend', 'flakey', 'people', 'care', 'exciting', 'time', 'possible', 'rather', 'experiencing', 'actual', 'human', 'connectioni', 'tired', 'going', 'endless', 'first', 'date', 'ghosted', 'immediately', 'afteri', 'tired', 'putting', 'countless', 'hour', 'work', 'thatll', 'amount', 'nothing', 'wheni', 'amgonei', 'tired', 'fucking', 'everything', 'nothing', 'stop', 'feeling', 'wayi', 'tired', 'trying', 'year', 'feel', 'like', 'depression', 'stay', 'cant', 'kill', 'would', 'selfish', 'people', 'really', 'care', 'feel', 'likei', 'ama', 'hollow', 'shell', 'drifting', 'life', 'hoping', 'someday', 'thing', 'better', 'know', 'change', 'come', 'within', 'know', 'thing', 'wont', 'better', 'till', 'make', 'choice', 'happiness', 'thats', 'fucking', 'pretending', 'stigma', 'depression', 'end', 'enough', 'u', 'killed', 'life', 'lie', 'dont', 'know']
96
['ama', 'worthless', 'waste', 'everyones', 'time', 'never', 'born', 'never', 'fucking', 'chance', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'standing', 'still', 'year', 'everyone', 'else', 'move', 'around', 'improves', 'life', 'least', 'doe', 'something', 'make', 'happy', 'cant', 'climb', 'financial', 'hole', 'cant', 'improve', 'barely', 'anything', 'becausei', 'amhuman', 'garbagei', 'amstuck', 'relationship', 'dont', 'think', 'want', 'doesnt', 'even', 'sex', 'time', 'get', 'attention', 'wheni', 'amsexually', 'harassed', 'stranger', 'people', 'thought', 'friend', 'wanted', 'fuck', 'apparently', 'thats', 'value', 'since', 'cant', 'kill', 'eventually', 'get', 'old', 'ugly', 'nothingi', 'cant', 'even', 'think', 'straight', 'stop', 'cry', 'long', 'enough', 'properly', 'end', 'rant', 'trdr', 'hate', 'stupid', 'piece', 'shit', 'self', 'wish', 'could', 'sleep', 'forever', 'dream', 'loser', 'fuck']
93
['tired', 'cant', 'anymorei', 'fucking', 'tired', 'dont', 'understand', 'everything', 'ha', 'keep', 'going', 'wrong', 'id', 'gotten', 'back', 'studying', 'uni', 'taking', 'time', 'one', 'tutor', 'died', 'back', 'march', 'broke', 'arm', 'april', 'go', 'break', 'arm', 'rollerblading', 'shattered', 'wrist', 'entirely', 'underwent', 'surgery', 'plate', 'screw', 'inserted', 'found', 'week', 'early', 'osteoporosisi', 'amonly', 'explains', 'arm', 'keep', 'breaking', 'amgutted', 'cant', 'cope', 'ive', 'antidepressant', 'since', 'june', 'still', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'guilty', 'moment', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'bad', 'effort', 'doctor', 'surgeon', 'went', 'fix', 'wrist', 'physios', 'helping', 'restore', 'movement', 'top', 'uni', 'ha', 'decided', 'longer', 'offer', 'counselling', 'student', 'one', 'talk', 'tried', 'crisis', 'line', 'hour', 'ago', 'guy', 'wa', 'totally', 'fucking', 'useless', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'want', 'overdose', 'doe', 'like']
102
['whilei', 'sure', 'allowed', 'sorry', 'didnt', 'know', 'else', 'post', 'half', 'year', 'ago', 'posted', 'random', 'account', 'lot', 'bad', 'thing', 'happened', 'really', 'wanted', 'end', 'pain', 'felt', 'alone', 'unloved', 'many', 'people', 'talked', 'made', 'feel', 'better', 'wa', 'still', 'mind', 'made', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'failed', 'ended', 'hospital', 'wa', 'one', 'person', 'particular', 'remember', 'talking', 'remember', 'last', 'message', 'sent', 'said', 'would', 'talk', 'next', 'day', 'didnt', 'hear', 'hed', 'know', 'worst', 'happened', 'unfortunately', 'cant', 'remember', 'name', 'even', 'account', 'used', 'way', 'finding', 'know', 'long', 'youre', 'still', 'wanted', 'know', 'okay', 'made', 'somehow', 'nowi', 'amplanning', 'getting', 'married', 'love', 'life', 'still', 'get', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'handle', 'little', 'better', 'day', 'wanted', 'say', 'thank', 'one', 'awesome', 'person', 'kind', 'stager', 'know', 'vague', 'ive', 'got', 'sorry', 'worried', 'anyone']
109
['going', 'snap', 'dont', 'know', 'ifi', 'going', 'break', 'everything', 'house', 'ifi', 'going', 'kill', 'cant', 'fucking', 'take', 'shit', 'anymore', 'thought', 'id', 'able', 'get', 'two', 'appointment', 'therapist', 'week', 'course', 'couldnt', 'happen', 'support', 'outside', 'every', 'minute', 'every', 'day', 'nothing', 'fucking', 'pain', 'make', 'stop']
39
['one', 'day', 'want', 'gun', 'bye', 'bye', 'deal', 'anyone', 'el', 'stupid', 'bullshit', 'look', 'like', 'together', 'burning', 'desire', 'drop', 'dead', 'silly', 'little', 'thing', 'fit', 'place', 'apparent', 'everyone', 'dumb', 'stupid', 'thing', 'need', 'apology', 'could', 'shut', 'fuck', 'forever', 'stop', 'social', 'medium', 'could', 'survive', 'thats', 'happening', 'cause', 'cant', 'causei', 'amretarded']
45
['cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'feel', 'lame', 'posting', 'feel', 'like', 'attention', 'seeking', 'cry', 'help', 'amalso', 'feeling', 'dangerously', 'depressed', 'usual', 'outlet', 'go', 'toive', 'suffering', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'mental', 'willness', 'better', 'part', 'year', 'almost', 'every', 'antidepressant', 'antianxiety', 'antipsychotic', 'mood', 'stabilizing', 'medication', 'think', 'endless', 'combination', 'mixed', 'matched', 'together', 'none', 'helped', 'hospitalized', 'five', 'time', 'life', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'twice', 'past', 'six', 'month', 'state', 'mental', 'hospital', 'made', 'feel', 'worse', 'professional', 'therapy', 'long', 'waste', 'time', 'everyone', 'involvedive', 'diagnosed', 'autism', 'recently', 'age', 'likely', 'struggling', 'year', 'consumed', 'stress', 'anger', 'hatred', 'verge', 'alcoholic', 'ifi', 'one', 'alreadyi', 'large', 'amount', 'debt', 'shitty', 'unfulfilling', 'job', 'health', 'insurance', 'option', 'limited', 'cheap', 'often', 'inefficient', 'uncaring', 'provider', 'real', 'friend', 'limited', 'family', 'understands', 'nothing', 'mental', 'willness', 'would', 'care', 'wa', 'gone', 'due', 'inconvenience', 'would', 'cause', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'truly', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'life', 'tired', 'constant', 'uphill', 'struggle', 'reward', 'didnt', 'ask', 'want', 'outi', 'equipped', 'deal', 'anymorei', 'never', 'wasi', 'angry', 'hurt', 'scared', 'dont', 'know', 'refuse', 'go', 'back', 'hospital', 'choose', 'death', 'day', 'week', 'bullshitim', 'sorry', 'feel', 'foolish', 'post', 'wish', 'one']
164
['suicidal', 'thought', 'go', 'away', 'first', 'started', 'earlier', 'summer', 'aftermath', 'extremely', 'painful', 'break', 'constantly', 'wanted', 'swerve', 'oncoming', 'traffic', 'fall', 'high', 'place', 'wa', 'outlet', 'way', 'feel', 'something', 'anything', 'wa', 'left', 'wa', 'emptiness', 'towards', 'end', 'summer', 'thing', 'took', 'change', 'lost', 'sense', 'hope', 'nowi', 'amdistancing', 'everyone', 'longer', 'break', 'failure', 'person', 'although', 'though', 'still', 'cant', 'get', 'head', 'dont', 'know', 'able', 'make', 'december', 'wont', 'face', 'family', 'disappointment', 'ive', 'become', 'whats', 'scary', 'none', 'feel', 'new', 'feeling', 'ive', 'always', 'never', 'given', 'form', 'dont', 'know', 'ever', 'go', 'away', 'since', 'ha', 'always', 'go', 'away']
84
['year', 'old', 'daughter', 'tried', 'overdose', 'hii', 'sure', 'post', 'wrong', 'place', 'please', 'redirect', 'week', 'ago', 'year', 'old', 'daughter', 'took', 'overdose', 'thankfully', 'told', 'wa', 'able', 'help', 'wa', 'lateher', 'reason', 'taking', 'action', 'wa', 'severe', 'bullying', 'school', 'seeing', 'counsellor', 'often', 'need', 'enrolled', 'taking', 'weekly', 'program', 'help', 'rebuild', 'confidence', 'self', 'esteem', 'graduate', 'week', 'also', 'taken', 'colour', 'bio', 'rhythm', 'therapist', 'healing', 'believe', 'need', 'heal', 'mind', 'spirit', 'body', 'another', 'two', 'session', 'go', 'bought', 'angel', 'oracle', 'card', 'positive', 'daily', 'affirmation', 'carry', 'whilst', 'schooli', 'dealing', 'school', 'ensure', 'feel', 'safe', 'stay', 'contact', 'txt', 'break', 'telling', 'bad', 'joke', 'sending', 'funny', 'picture', 'trying', 'keep', 'spirit', 'etcevery', 'afternoon', 'come', 'home', 'talk', 'dayi', 'trying', 'help', 'destress', 'analyse', 'thing', 'happenedi', 'worried', 'wont', 'enough', 'wont', 'able', 'save', 'believe', 'close', 'relationship', 'knew', 'wa', 'unhappy', 'kid', 'nice', 'didnt', 'know', 'much', 'wa', 'affecting', 'home', 'wa', 'still', 'cheeky', 'fun', 'loving', 'didnt', 'want', 'go', 'anywhere', 'unless', 'wa', 'familywe', 'also', 'talking', 'going', 'live', 'grandparent', 'attend', 'different', 'high', 'school', 'although', 'would', 'hate', 'id', 'miss', 'like', 'crazyat', 'current', 'school', 'number', 'kid', 'self', 'harming', 'astronomical', 'learned', 'number', 'high', 'school', 'country', 'experiencing', 'issue', 'mother', 'extremely', 'frighteningif', 'think', 'anything', 'else', 'would', 'extremely', 'grateful']
176
['feel', 'better', 'hi', 'alternate', 'account', 'thought', 'would', 'tell', 'year', 'ago', 'hit', 'rock', 'bottom', 'couldnt', 'find', 'boyfriend', 'got', 'demoted', 'work', 'found', 'longterm', 'sick', 'sat', 'around', 'moping', 'home', 'alone', 'every', 'day', 'prospect', 'future', 'odd', 'medication', 'wa', 'fucking', 'stupid', 'vomited', 'back', 'since', 'life', 'ha', 'got', 'better', 'unexpectedly', 'never', 'ever', 'know', 'next', 'day', 'might', 'bring', 'learned', 'drive', 'new', 'job', 'new', 'friend', 'really', 'care', 'new', 'career', 'prospect', 'opening', 'soon', 'ive', 'taken', 'art', 'craft', 'make', 'happy', 'thing', 'like', 'woodwork', 'cosplay', 'importantly', 'met', 'love', 'life', 'weve', 'recently', 'bought', 'house', 'together', 'wonderful', 'feeling', 'dont', 'mean', 'brag', 'boast', 'simply', 'wanted', 'share', 'absolute', 'worst', 'seeing', 'future', 'dead', 'every', 'day', 'existing', 'happy', 'independent', 'man', 'love', 'life', 'never', 'ever', 'wouldve', 'thought', 'two', 'year', 'ago', 'today', 'would', 'try', 'kill', 'two', 'year', 'later', 'thing', 'done', 'turn', 'two', 'year', 'seems', 'like', 'long', 'time', 'thing', 'get', 'better']
131
['unsure', 'continue', 'go', 'lately', 'ive', 'feeling', 'mixture', 'emotion', 'amvery', 'confused', 'whyi', 'still', 'negative', 'state', 'ive', 'really', 'trying', 'better', 'amkeeping', 'somewhat', 'healthy', 'trying', 'bit', 'school', 'try', 'talk', 'people', 'much', 'possible', 'get', 'outside', 'much', 'comfortably', 'take', 'medication', 'still', 'absolutely', 'miserable', 'hate', 'body', 'despite', 'attempt', 'healthy', 'pretty', 'bad', 'especially', 'sincei', 'amyoung', 'face', 'best', 'feature', 'thats', 'saying', 'something', 'dont', 'good', 'looking', 'face', 'begin', 'feel', 'unfulfilled', 'know', 'fulfillment', 'come', 'time', 'effort', 'ive', 'trying', 'thing', 'feel', 'accomplished', 'cant', 'isnt', 'enough', 'adding', 'anything', 'society', 'around', 'thats', 'important', 'much', 'always', 'think', 'another', 'big', 'thing', 'make', 'feel', 'awful', 'lack', 'companionship', 'feel', 'emotionally', 'cold', 'night', 'knowing', 'isnt', 'anyone', 'want', 'know', 'isnt', 'abnormal', 'everyone', 'generally', 'want', 'loved', 'way', 'whole', 'mix', 'everything', 'going', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'horrible', 'person', 'feel', 'like', 'ending', 'legitimately', 'could', 'likely', 'easily', 'everyone', 'think', 'thati', 'amgetting', 'better', 'could', 'well', 'fake', 'recovery', 'give', 'amrambling', 'main', 'point', 'thati', 'amconfused', 'go', 'point', 'could', 'try', 'keep', 'going', 'state', 'mind', 'deteriorating', 'frankly', 'easier', 'somewhat', 'better', 'suicide']
152
['amugly', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymorei', 'amto', 'ugly', 'care', 'alivei', 'amugly', 'amstupid']
11
['amholding', 'cousin', 'soi', 'program', 'let', 'two', 'year', 'high', 'school', 'first', 'two', 'year', 'college', 'timeim', 'taking', 'ap', 'class', 'along', 'college', 'classesit', 'intensive', 'cant', 'deal', 'stress', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'manage', 'make', 'every', 'day', 'psychologist', 'psychiatrist', 'ive', 'diagnosed', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'take', 'daily', 'anti', 'depressant', 'yet', 'reasoni', 'amalive', 'little', 'cousinstheyre', 'year', 'old', 'cant', 'bear', 'thought', 'family', 'explain', 'concept', 'suicide', 'thusi', 'still']
57
['feel', 'like', 'trying', 'anymore', 'make', 'long', 'story', 'shorter', 'give', 'tldr', 'life', 'wa', 'four', 'dad', 'drank', 'drive', 'hit', 'killed', 'old', 'lady', 'wa', 'sentenced', 'year', 'prison', 'mom', 'ever', 'summer', 'job', 'teenager', 'wa', 'forced', 'take', 'care', 'two', 'sister', 'great', 'job', 'blame', 'much', 'understand', 'life', 'great', 'either', 'started', 'drug', 'hanging', 'iffy', 'people', 'leaving', 'iffy', 'people', 'care', 'started', 'dating', 'guy', 'almost', 'nine', 'year', 'wa', 'registered', 'sex', 'offender', 'result', 'got', 'taken', 'away', 'cps', 'quite', 'time', 'one', 'people', 'left', 'wa', 'family', 'friend', 'ended', 'molesting', 'wa', 'ten', 'moved', 'around', 'bit', 'stayed', 'family', 'member', 'family', 'friend', 'whenever', 'wa', 'taken', 'away', 'wa', 'settled', 'one', 'place', 'finally', 'dad', 'wa', 'released', 'prison', 'good', 'behavior', 'wa', 'started', 'dating', 'best', 'friend', 'came', 'mother', 'wa', 'gay', 'accepted', 'dad', 'day', 'sends', 'religious', 'thing', 'telling', 'repent', 'go', 'hell', 'sister', 'much', 'older', 'close', 'always', 'iffy', 'example', 'allowed', 'bring', 'fianc', 'e', 'last', 'christmas', 'high', 'school', 'wa', 'iffy', 'time', 'well', 'relationship', 'stable', 'girlfriend', 'load', 'mental', 'problem', 'baggage', 'well', 'ended', 'breaking', 'problem', 'treated', 'like', 'absolute', 'shit', 'along', 'friend', 'life', 'handed', 'bad', 'hand', 'wa', 'angry', 'took', 'people', 'cared', 'wa', 'shitty', 'dated', 'new', 'girl', 'broke', 'senior', 'year', 'caused', 'go', 'worse', 'depression', 'got', 'back', 'ex', 'dated', 'sophomore', 'year', 'college', 'even', 'proposed', 'last', 'year', 'plan', 'getting', 'married', 'december', 'yesterday', 'found', 'messaging', 'ex', 'like', 'tried', 'many', 'time', 'get', 'back', 'throughout', 'high', 'school', 'college', 'meeting', 'getting', 'drunk', 'confronted', 'asked', 'confessed', 'wa', 'scared', 'want', 'thing', 'life', 'even', 'know', 'anymore', 'know', 'getting', 'married', 'sure', 'spent', 'past', 'two', 'day', 'laying', 'bed', 'cry', 'wa', 'younger', 'depressed', 'wa', 'angry', 'wanted', 'action', 'would', 'write', 'suicide', 'note', 'lash', 'energy', 'even', 'think', 'energy', 'kill', 'self', 'know', 'fact', 'wa', 'button', 'could', 'press', 'wipe', 'existence', 'would', 'without', 'hesitation', 'hurt', 'many', 'people', 'love', 'honestly', 'deserve', 'forgiveness', 'want', 'fix', 'many', 'thing', 'honestly', 'broken', 'human', 'know', 'would', 'mess', 'hurt', 'people', 'fianc', 'e', 'girlfriend', 'friend', 'say', 'want', 'still', 'even', 'part', 'later', 'still', 'enjoy', 'think', 'could', 'handle', 'fuck', 'handle', 'feel', 'like', 'crushed', 'everything', 'ha', 'ever', 'happened', 'done', 'breathe', 'want', 'die', 'hurt', 'anyone', 'else', 'hurt', 'anymore', 'wa', 'one', 'worst', 'fear', 'realized', 'know', 'another', 'person', 'hard', 'know', 'lot', 'work', 'wa', 'willing', 'sometimes', 'work', 'sometimes', 'matter', 'much', 'love', 'someone', 'matter', 'hard', 'work', 'want', 'different', 'thing', 'scared', 'much', 'true', 'love', 'end', 'one', 'u', 'happy', 'together', 'idk', 'feel', 'broken', 'energy', 'anymore', 'type', 'sorry', 'rambling']
357
['procrastinating', 'missed', 'assignment', 'yesterday', 'missing', 'work', 'deadline', 'filing', 'report', 'n', 'stuff', 'everything', 'edge', 'could', 'put', 'real', 'life', 'together', 'whats', 'great', 'living', 'iunno', 'wish', 'could', 'kill', 'like', 'everything', 'elsei', 'worthless', 'anything']
30
['made', 'promise', 'recently', 'entered', 'great', 'high', 'school', 'one', 'best', 'state', 'mom', 'super', 'excited', 'honestly', 'ive', 'made', 'good', 'friend', 'like', 'learning', 'still', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'every', 'night', 'dread', 'next', 'day', 'put', 'facade', 'pretendi', 'amhappy', 'care', 'free', 'oh', 'yeah', 'amalmost', 'always', 'feeling', 'empty', 'lonely', 'think', 'suicide', 'almost', 'every', 'day', 'really', 'help', 'anyways', 'promise', 'fail', 'class', 'kill', 'easy', 'able', 'escape', 'disappointing', 'family', 'like', 'always', 'able', 'escape', 'loneliness', 'dread', 'everything', 'constantly', 'weighs', 'able', 'spend', 'eternity', 'paradise', 'non', 'existence', 'ifi', 'pussy', 'guess', 'drop', 'maybe', 'work', 'courage', 'kill', 'later']
82
['need', 'help', 'suicidal', 'exboyfriend', 'hey', 'guy', 'needed', 'advice', 'made', 'throw', 'away', 'ex', 'know', 'reddit', 'accountokay', 'ex', 'broke', 'month', 'ago', 'still', 'talk', 'everyday', 'still', 'sex', 'sometimes', 'also', 'sometimes', 'hang', 'lot', 'fun', 'laugh', 'lot', 'broke', 'wasnt', 'good', 'girlfriend', 'pretty', 'mean', 'thing', 'thing', 'didnt', 'work', 'needed', 'space', 'didnt', 'need', 'life', 'hand', 'threatened', 'suicide', 'many', 'time', 'order', 'get', 'stay', 'manipulative', 'shitty', 'know', 'know', 'better', 'long', 'time', 'cry', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'myselfi', 'amfinally', 'okay', 'thing', 'u', 'today', 'told', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'lately', 'reason', 'wont', 'kill', 'little', 'sister', 'feel', 'alone', 'feel', 'like', 'ha', 'real', 'friend', 'family', 'sent', 'rtc', 'year', 'ha', 'resentment', 'towards', 'parent', 'sent', 'away', 'pissed', 'dirty', 'tried', 'killing', 'know', 'wasnt', 'caring', 'told', 'many', 'time', 'care', 'love', 'lot', 'still', 'doesnt', 'feel', 'believe', 'itin', 'communication', 'class', 'learned', 'thing', 'called', 'love', 'language', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'really', 'feel', 'love', 'service', 'action', 'really', 'feel', 'love', 'affirming', 'word', 'long', 'time', 'sending', 'love', 'catered', 'would', 'always', 'show', 'never', 'really', 'tell', 'would', 'always', 'tell', 'never', 'really', 'show', 'okay', 'anyways', 'want', 'advice', 'show', 'care', 'love', 'action', 'wa', 'first', 'real', 'relationship', 'still', 'rusty', 'want', 'feel', 'suicidal', 'depressed', 'guy', 'feel', 'validated', 'loved', 'action', 'thing', 'people', 'make', 'feel', 'good', 'life', 'know', 'post', 'probably', 'belongs', 'relationship', 'subreddit', 'would', 'never', 'go', 'actual', 'advice', 'suicidal', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'good', 'place', 'go', 'since', 'often', 'post', 'main', 'account', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'expressing', 'also', 'delete', 'post', 'episode', 'go', 'awaythank']
213
['carotid', 'best', 'method', 'constrict', 'carotid', 'artery', 'lose', 'consciousness', 'need', 'keep', 'airway', 'open', 'please', 'note', 'alone', 'assistance', 'outside', 'party', 'thanks']
19
['trying', 'hard', 'crosspost', 'stopselfharm', 'hurt', 'badly', 'worse', 'cant', 'stop', 'cry', 'thinking', 'ex', 'new', 'gf', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'neurological', 'problem', 'getting', 'worse', 'bad', 'anxiety', 'cutting', 'isnt', 'enough', 'anymore', 'want', 'go', 'night', 'raped', 'killed']
32
['selfish', 'sister', 'suicidal', 'personi', 'amthe', 'younger', 'sister', 'suicidal', 'personi', 'going', 'uni', 'falli', 'going', 'school', 'state', 'hr', 'plane', 'away', 'mom', 'actually', 'rn', 'get', 'settled', 'stuff', 'yesterday', 'scare', 'sibling', 'texted', 'mom', 'said', 'sibling', 'wa', 'suicidal', 'sibling', 'ha', 'outpatient', 'therapy', 'day', 'said', 'yesterday', 'wa', 'bad', 'day', 'mom', 'decided', 'come', 'home', 'tomorrow', 'bc', 'sibling', 'alone', 'home', 'ofc', 'shes', 'worried', 'theyll', 'understand', 'wa', 'one', 'actually', 'convinced', 'mom', 'go', 'home', 'early', 'bc', 'want', 'sibling', 'safe', 'however', 'really', 'feel', 'kinda', 'upset', 'going', 'home', 'early', 'growing', 'sibling', 'always', 'one', 'got', 'attention', 'wa', 'one', 'left', 'dust', 'know', 'theyre', 'attention', 'cant', 'help', 'feel', 'like', 'never', 'turn', 'dont', 'want', 'like', 'bc', 'sibling', 'need', 'support', 'get', 'right', 'selfish']
106
['rather', 'comforting', 'realisationi', 'ama', 'year', 'old', 'diagnosed', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'take', 'medication', 'lot', 'shit', 'school', 'wellbeing', 'always', 'used', 'hide', 'away', 'think', 'pointless', 'everything', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'one', 'way', 'still', 'believe', 'new', 'perspective', 'way', 'see', 'free', 'experience', 'different', 'aspect', 'life', 'see', 'create', 'comforting', 'part', 'stem', 'fear', 'shit', 'life', 'nothing', 'matter', 'either', 'wayopinions', 'idea']
50
['weird', 'even', 'dont', 'necessarily', 'feel', 'depressed', 'thought', 'still', 'guess', 'part', 'know', 'inevitable', 'lot', 'time', 'feel', 'likei', 'ammourning', 'death']
18
['tonight', 'almost', 'overdosed', 'pill', 'tomorrowi', 'amgetting', 'help', 'ive', 'considering', 'going', 'counselling', 'day', 'ago', 'finally', 'started', 'looking', 'place', 'could', 'go', 'today', 'almost', 'killed', 'myselfi', 'going', 'put', 'longer', 'wasnt', 'first', 'close', 'call', 'wa', 'definitely', 'worst', 'know', 'longer', 'control', 'emotion', 'know', 'go', 'beyond', 'depression', 'know', 'thati', 'amruining', 'relationship', 'girlfriend', 'thing', 'ever', 'hold', 'anymore', 'know', 'thati', 'ama', 'danger', 'others', 'long', 'make', 'night', 'finally', 'go', 'get', 'help', 'tomorrow', 'really', 'want', 'change', 'well', 'change', 'hopefully', 'first', 'step', 'little', 'skeptical', 'seems', 'like', 'lot', 'process', 'goal', 'next', 'step', 'doesnt', 'sound', 'like', 'really', 'help', 'also', 'worry', 'wont', 'say', 'right', 'thing', 'wont', 'get', 'point', 'across', 'fully', 'explain', 'wayi', 'amfeeling', 'dont', 'think', 'know', 'anything', 'way', 'feel', 'honest', 'general', 'whole', 'process', 'counselling', 'intimidating', 'probably', 'last', 'hope', 'hoping']
115
['leaving', 'due', 'chronic', 'paini', 'sure', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'go', 'onmy', 'chronic', 'pain', 'getting', 'way', 'dream', 'hard', 'focus', 'anythingi', 'amunemployed', 'despite', 'searching', 'work', 'past', 'yeari', 'amuseless', 'volunteer', 'pain', 'ive', 'homeless', 'parent', 'threaten', 'kick', 'weekly', 'basis', 'want', 'make', 'world', 'le', 'painful', 'placei', 'memory', 'problem', 'previous', 'injuryi', 'smart', 'used', 'bei', 'amconstantly', 'agony', 'feel', 'like', 'time', 'end', 'thing', 'need', 'give', 'mercy']
57
['last', 'cry', 'help', 'suicide', 'note', 'written', 'suicide', 'note', 'feel', 'like', 'failure', 'trying', 'hard', 'enough', 'save', 'please', 'let', 'know', 'think', 'think', 'tried', 'everythingi', 'wanted', 'thank', 'life', 'matter', 'brief', 'may', 'brought', 'joy', 'love', 'life', 'cannot', 'begin', 'explain', 'grateful', 'reading', 'would', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'hopefully', 'last', 'time', 'sure', 'feeling', 'assure', 'valid', 'respect', 'themi', 'depressed', 'life', 'mean', 'happy', 'moment', 'fake', 'real', 'guess', 'far', 'year', 'would', 'prove', 'unbearably', 'painful', 'started', 'experience', 'hallucination', 'voice', 'leave', 'alone', 'voice', 'would', 'put', 'instruct', 'harm', 'others', 'grasp', 'reality', 'wa', 'loosening', 'followed', 'wa', 'month', 'spent', 'pain', 'alonei', 'would', 'finally', 'ask', 'help', 'put', 'med', 'people', 'would', 'come', 'check', 'thing', 'really', 'got', 'bad', 'wa', 'admitted', 'hospital', 'however', 'drug', 'numbed', 'emotionally', 'feel', 'sad', 'anymore', 'feel', 'anything', 'wa', 'point', 'anything', 'wa', 'better', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'month', 'later', 'hallucination', 'would', 'come', 'back', 'mood', 'would', 'drop', 'enough', 'believe', 'tried', 'come', 'conclusion', 'unfit', 'life', 'cannot', 'support', 'refuse', 'burden', 'friend', 'family', 'society', 'rest', 'life', 'wa', 'hoping', 'good', 'world', 'realise', 'become', 'liability', 'medication', 'work', 'tired', 'trying', 'always', 'get', 'hope', 'completely', 'destroyed', 'enough', 'sorry', 'probably', 'ruining', 'day', 'wanted', 'let', 'know', 'special', 'hope', 'beautiful', 'life', 'thanks']
172
['feel', 'awkward', 'talking', 'friend', 'throwaway', 'time', 'feel', 'really', 'bad', 'lately', 'depressed', 'would', 'overstatement', 'guess', 'didnt', 'know', 'post', 'ask', 'help', 'lot', 'friend', 'like', 'group', 'trust', 'everyone', 'think', 'however', 'really', 'feel', 'awkward', 'talking', 'feel', 'lately', 'laughed', 'like', 'drama', 'queen', 'something', 'always', 'seem', 'happy', 'dont', 'mind', 'stuff', 'generallyidk', 'whats', 'wrong', 'lately', 'since', 'wont', 'believe', 'jokingwhat', 'guy', 'really', 'one', 'talk', 'depression', 'late']
58
['feeling', 'suicidal', 'dont', 'want', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'long', 'time', 'ive', 'attempted', 'past', 'right', 'nowi', 'going', 'hard', 'time', 'trying', 'take', 'care', 'friend', 'getting', 'worse', 'want', 'able', 'support', 'properly', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'want', 'die', 'donti', 'trying', 'reach', 'professional', 'ask', 'could', 'better', 'help', 'friend', 'dont', 'know', 'lose', 'friend', 'theni', 'amdying', 'wont', 'able', 'handle']
50
['troubledi', 'girlfriend', 'dumped', 'something', 'really', 'bad', 'cheatinglevel', 'bad', 'shes', 'telling', 'friend', 'turning', 'feel', 'really', 'empty', 'inside', 'dont', 'want', 'go', 'school', 'realised', 'many', 'friend', 'toxic', 'hurt', 'person', 'isnt', 'toxic', 'girlfriend', 'miss', 'much', 'love', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'anything', 'get', 'back', 'shes', 'moved', 'amstuck', 'dont', 'know', 'anyone', 'talk', 'cant', 'anymore', 'cant']
48
['piercings', 'piercings', 'something', 'use', 'express', 'put', 'needle', 'lip', 'ear', 'give', 'feeling', 'selfharming', 'doe', 'numbs', 'pain', 'split', 'second', 'though', 'piercings', 'people', 'wont', 'throw', 'mental', 'hospital', 'like', 'would', 'seen', 'cut', 'burn']
29
['rlly', 'want', 'die', 'make', 'rlly', 'sad', 'nothing', 'sad', 'family', 'issue', 'relationship', 'problem', 'life', 'good', 'make', 'even', 'sad', 'want', 'know', 'feel', 'exactly', 'way', 'good', 'life', 'dont', 'understand', 'miserable', 'dont', 'know', 'help', 'anyway', 'want', 'tell']
33
['recovering', 'emotionally', 'attempt', 'last', 'year', 'least', 'major', 'life', 'event', 'happened', 'month', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'method', 'would', 'killed', 'texted', 'help', 'something', 'dont', 'even', 'remember', 'actually', 'posted', 'different', 'account', 'spent', 'week', 'hospital', 'amon', 'different', 'med', 'depressionanxiety', 'nowmy', 'question', 'recover', 'emotionally', 'attempt', 'primary', 'thing', 'pushed', 'edge', 'wa', 'shame', 'impaired', 'sexual', 'development', 'thats', 'something', 'easily', 'change', 'ever', 'peace', 'conversation', 'mom', 'triggered', 'thought', 'suicide', 'today', 'therapy', 'session', 'ive', 'since', 'last', 'year', 'pointless', 'cant', 'fix', 'underlying', 'issue', 'behind', 'desire', 'end']
73
['ive', 'never', 'suicidal', 'ive', 'past', 'month', 'two', 'ive', 'started', 'thinking', 'plan', 'ive', 'started', 'writing', 'letter', 'people', 'dont', 'anything', 'concrete', 'calming', 'think', 'end', 'sight', 'eventually', 'free']
25
['feel', 'giving', 'day', 'hi', 'idea', 'turn', 'convinced', 'maybe', 'borderline', 'bipolar', 'tired', 'dramatic', 'attention', 'seeking', 'trying', 'use', 'friend', 'support', 'system', 'pretty', 'clear', 'week', 'straight', 'hopelessness', 'know', 'deal', 'life', 'cant', 'beck', 'call', 'need', 'help', 'stabilizing', 'myselfi', 'amjust', 'sure', 'anymore', 'even', 'hotlines', 'seem', 'scripted', 'awful']
42
['fucking', 'lonely', 'dont', 'fucking', 'know', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'past', 'year', 'worst', 'ever', 'ive', 'missing', 'class', 'day', 'lay', 'bed', 'dayi', 'ama', 'long', 'way', 'home', 'college', 'social', 'interaction', 'outside', 'class', 'attend', 'see', 'family', 'break', 'used', 'really', 'social', 'ton', 'friend', 'dont', 'anyone', 'thing', 'thats', 'kept', 'killing', 'knowing', 'heartbroken', 'family', 'would', 'bit', 'longeri', 'amaway', 'le', 'motivation', 'go', 'campus', 'center', 'get', 'food', 'day', 'sit', 'near', 'people', 'crave', 'human', 'interaction', 'dont', 'amterrified', 'putting']
67
['sex', 'repulsed', 'feeling', 'hopeless', 'hello', 'redditi', 'amat', 'end', 'rope', 'nothing', 'harmful', 'thought', 'mind', 'week', 'past', 'two', 'year', 'ive', 'someone', 'care', 'much', 'person', 'wasnt', 'aware', 'got', 'together', 'wa', 'one', 'take', 'virginity', 'wa', 'never', 'okay', 'wanted', 'give', 'chance', 'month', 'found', 'wa', 'sex', 'touch', 'kind', 'dislike', 'kissed', 'dislike', 'held', 'long', 'period', 'dislike', 'sex', 'immensely', 'painful', 'feel', 'miserable', 'disgusted', 'every', 'time', 'partner', 'ha', 'started', 'suggesting', 'longer', 'go', 'loveless', 'relationship', 'need', 'shut', 'take', 'instead', 'telling', 'cant', 'cant', 'leave', 'either', 'rely', 'live', 'financially', 'share', 'responsibility', 'amunable', 'pay', 'home', 'myselfi', 'amat', 'wit', 'end', 'cat', 'id', 'gone', 'think', 'nothing', 'want', 'die', 'hope', 'get', 'hit', 'car', 'today', 'hope', 'get', 'coma', 'wake', 'thisll', 'id', 'much', 'happier', 'knew', 'would', 'come', 'end', 'wouldnt', 'forced', 'pain', 'uncomfortable', 'miserable', 'rest', 'life', 'relying', 'someone', 'keep', 'alive', 'could', 'end', 'iti', 'amfeeling', 'hopeless']
126
['ok', 'nowi', 'amscared', 'wa', 'certain', 'id', 'able', 'go', 'school', 'get', 'trade', 'would', 'high', 'paying', 'job', 'would', 'allow', 'live', 'life', 'totally', 'didnt', 'realize', 'every', 'trade', 'need', 'math', 'skill', 'mathematically', 'inclined', 'facti', 'amshit', 'maybe', 'trade', 'le', 'simpler', 'math', 'others', 'doomed', 'fail', 'life', 'sheer', 'lack', 'intelligence']
43
['honestly', 'dont', 'know', 'last', 'hour', 'roommate', 'unanimously', 'agreed', 'go', 'dont', 'family', 'fall', 'back', 'emptied', 'bank', 'account', 'trying', 'make', 'sure', 'roommate', 'covered', 'bill', 'dont', 'money', 'support', 'without', 'roommate', 'even', 'buy', 'food', 'subsist', 'lost', 'dont', 'vehicle', 'transport', 'stuff', 'get', 'work', 'cant', 'find', 'place', 'go', 'nearby']
43
['fuck', 'dude', 'need', 'someone', 'one', 'tell', 'whati', 'amactually', 'thinking', 'ive', 'decline', 'wanting', 'kill', 'instead', 'trying', 'get', 'better', 'try', 'convince']
19
['self', 'destructing', 'ever', 'purposely', 'thing', 'know', 'make', 'life', 'worse', 'stay', 'late', 'posting', 'suicide', 'forum', 'knowing', 'make', 'work', 'awful', 'tomorrow', 'ever', 'sit', 'work', 'nothing', 'knowing', 'get', 'closer', 'closer', 'fired', 'ever', 'lie', 'bed', 'morning', 'instead', 'driving', 'work', 'youll', 'late', 'everyone', 'look', 'ever', 'avoid', 'paying', 'bill', 'day', 'day', 'even', 'though', 'never', 'really', 'forget', 'avoid', 'itever', 'since', 'father', 'died', 'felt', 'likei', 'amplaying', 'game', 'marco', 'polo', 'one', 'call', 'polo', 'returni', 'amjust', 'blind', 'wandering', 'around', 'purpose', 'anyone', 'know', 'might', 'afraid', 'open', 'eyesi', 'want', 'make', 'weekend', 'please', 'god', 'let', 'make', 'weekend']
84
['please', 'take', 'anymore', 'want', 'die', 'care', 'aftermath', 'pain', 'family', 'friend', 'legitimately', 'way', 'compare', 'need', 'painless', 'way', 'die', 'considered', 'flipping', 'car', 'putting', 'knife', 'outlet', 'pulling', 'cord', 'tightly', 'around', 'neck', 'etc', 'etc', 'need', 'something', 'easy', 'take']
34
['ive', 'feeling', 'hopeless', 'every', 'day', 'torture', 'ive', 'dealing', 'gender', 'dysphoria', 'life', 'gotten', 'point', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'ever', 'get', 'better', 'never', 'able', 'live', 'life', 'fullest', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'suffer', 'anymore', 'whenever', 'try', 'talk', 'family', 'school', 'counselor', 'call', 'selfish', 'never', 'offer', 'help', 'cant', 'even', 'kill', 'becausei', 'amunder', 'cant', 'buy', 'drug', 'weaponsi', 'going', 'stuck', 'miserable', 'spiral', 'forever']
54
['finally', 'gonna', 'guy', 'finally', 'got', 'enough', 'courage', 'bad', 'newswish', 'luck', 'hope', 'jumping', 'th', 'floor', 'enougg']
15
['human', 'naturally', 'disgust', 'hate', 'humanity', 'inability', 'realistic', 'progress', 'care', 'something', 'self', 'way', 'would', 'argue', 'thati', 'amfrom', 'another', 'galaxy', 'dont', 'believe', 'possible', 'everyday', 'see', 'selfish', 'hypocritical', 'double', 'standard', 'falsehood', 'humanity', 'believe', 'job', 'human', 'band', 'together', 'serve', 'earth', 'reality', 'thing', 'like', 'politics', 'religion', 'drug', 'money', 'alcohol', 'many', 'thing', 'name', 'dont', 'matter', 'important', 'say', 'life', 'equal', 'food', 'chain', 'exists', 'human', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'strongest', 'fastest', 'cant', 'stop', 'nature', 'killing', 'ok', 'instead', 'work', 'planet', 'make', 'stronger', 'breath', 'easier', 'give', 'strength', 'living', 'creature', 'instead', 'human', 'focus', 'celebrity', 'false', 'idol', 'killing', 'annoying', 'creature', 'simply', 'deem', 'annoying', 'given', 'gift', 'help', 'beautifully', 'time', 'time', 'pretend', 'human', 'important', 'maybe', 'purpose', 'properly', 'help', 'planet', 'universe', 'everything', 'martyr', 'right', 'dont', 'need', 'higher', 'power', 'tell', 'behave', 'neither', 'slight', 'religion', 'people', 'worry', 'nonsense', 'instead', 'whats', 'right', 'also', 'right', 'wrong', 'simply', 'opinion', 'helping', 'around', 'globe', 'globe', 'great', 'yet', 'sespool', 'humanity', 'doesnt', 'try', 'care', 'seem', 'time', 'hate', 'conscious', 'unfortunate', 'group', 'people', 'share', 'specie', 'care', 'people', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'someone', 'would', 'end', 'time', 'dont', 'aware', 'opportunity', 'squandered', 'humanity', 'yet', 'live', 'thing', 'hate', 'believe', 'one', 'day', 'people', 'change', 'never', 'met', 'anyone', 'feel', 'cant', 'escape', 'conciousness', 'know', 'want', 'stop', 'wont', 'anything', 'even', 'post', 'forgotten', 'maybe', 'someone', 'feel', 'know', 'alone', 'amout', 'fighting', 'brother', 'sister']
194
['dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'ive', 'lost', 'dont', 'know', 'doi', 'amhighly', 'considering', 'suicide', 'life', 'ha', 'pointless', 'crap', 'lately', 'feel', 'likei', 'bubble', 'one', 'help', 'get', 'one', 'would', 'want', 'toi', 'sorry', 'bringing', 'dont', 'another', 'place', 'turn']
32
['important', 'website', 'condone', 'suicide', 'something', 'like', 'yes', 'serious', 'question']
9
['tired', 'sleeping', 'oftentimes', 'find', 'sleeping', 'till', 'past', 'cannot', 'sleep', 'night', 'day', 'tomorrow', 'wanna', 'take', 'full', 'advantage', 'amworried', 'sleep', 'like', 'log', 'half', 'day', 'like', 'today']
24
['merry', 'go', 'round', 'pet', 'stuff', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'expect', 'nowhere', 'turn', 'one', 'talk', 'maybe', 'help', 'get', 'thought', 'dog', 'sick', 'adopted', 'wa', 'runt', 'even', 'year', 'old', 'yeti', 'everything', 'get', 'vet', 'fund', 'limited', 'sick', 'ha', 'happened', 'previous', 'dog', 'wa', 'time', 'money', 'begged', 'cried', 'till', 'lung', 'fire', 'pleaded', 'boyfriend', 'please', 'help', 'wa', 'something', 'seriously', 'wrong', 'didnt', 'believe', 'called', 'hypochondriac', 'said', 'money', 'called', 'around', 'different', 'vet', 'wa', 'going', 'dollar', 'help', 'would', 'fine', 'said', 'couldnt', 'afford', 'died', 'day', 'later', 'wa', 'sleeping', 'wa', 'sitting', 'right', 'next', 'didnt', 'anything', 'didnt', 'wake', 'nothing', 'died', 'alone', 'come', 'find', 'grand', 'bank', 'zero', 'bill', 'pay', 'feel', 'like', 'issue', 'happening', 'dont', 'much', 'havei', 'going', 'everything', 'help', 'veti', 'amhaving', 'take', 'cant', 'see', 'till', 'friday', 'diesi', 'going', 'end', 'life', 'feel', 'like', 'shitty', 'mother', 'couldnt', 'take', 'care', 'one', 'thing', 'loved', 'world', 'maybe', 'lose', 'another', 'two', 'thing', 'ive', 'ever', 'truly', 'loved', 'world', 'come', 'abusive', 'home', 'treated', 'like', 'trash', 'abused', 'ex', 'feel', 'like', 'two', 'dog', 'thing', 'world', 'loved', 'couldnt', 'fail', 'another', 'one', 'able', 'live', 'letting', 'die', 'best', 'thing', 'think', 'doe', 'happen', 'let', 'die', 'alone', 'couldnt', 'make', 'without', 'anywayi', 'amutterly', 'alonei', 'sorry', 'wa', 'long', 'anyone', 'actually', 'make', 'far', 'thank', 'grateful']
182
['sure', 'whyi', 'ambothering', 'honestly', 'th', 'time', 'ive', 'wrote', 'keep', 'backspacing', 'feel', 'silly', 'guilty', 'taking', 'stranger', 'putting', 'problem', 'others', 'livesi', 'really', 'close', 'guy', 'ya', 'know', 'even', 'point', 'big', 'deal', 'anymore', 'feel', 'righti', 'ampretty', 'done', 'world', 'ive', 'come', 'realize', 'dont', 'care', 'anything', 'anyone', 'longest', 'time', 'ive', 'fascinated', 'death', 'concept', 'eternal', 'peace', 'sound', 'comforting', 'dealing', 'daily', 'problem', 'even', 'outside', 'problem', 'ive', 'accomplished', 'life', 'hurting', 'others', 'hurting', 'putting', 'mindset', 'low', 'space', 'dont', 'matter', 'anymore', 'probably', 'get', 'view', 'maybe', 'comment', 'two', 'point', 'none', 'matter', 'wa', 'helping', 'someone', 'minute', 'ago', 'seeing', 'similar', 'fucked', 'shit', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'last', 'dont', 'give', 'fuck', 'anythingi', 'ameither', 'going', 'hurt', 'get', 'killed', 'police', 'repeating', 'head']
105
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307
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50
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100
['amdone', 'need', 'right', 'fucking', 'knife', 'bath', 'pill', 'androcur', 'progynova', 'posion', 'freezer', 'high', 'bulding', 'km', 'railway', 'km', 'whats', 'best', 'choice']
19
['painless', 'way', 'kill', 'ive', 'cutting', 'year', 'always', 'hurt', 'much', 'actually', 'cut', 'vein', 'want', 'know', 'painless', 'way', 'kill', 'ha', 'something', 'cant', 'continue', 'living', 'world', 'everyone', 'hate', 'continue', 'afraid', 'talk', 'anyone']
29
['life', 'getting', 'worse', 'everyday', 'life', 'point', 'hate', 'waking', 'face', 'another', 'day', 'sad', 'hope', 'find', 'incurable', 'medial', 'problem', 'dont', 'stomach', 'finding', 'another', 'person', 'actually', 'caring', 'like', 'finding', 'buried', 'treasure', 'family', 'isnt', 'better', 'stranger', 'sometimes', 'always', 'looking', 'self', 'secretly', 'talking', 'like', 'everyone', 'always', 'say', 'get', 'cant', 'move', 'life', 'short', 'helping', 'social', 'anxiety', 'among', 'issue', 'mainly', 'doe', 'losing', 'person', 'helped', 'thru', 'day', 'knowing', 'everything', 'wa', 'going', 'alright', 'one', 'actually', 'understands', 'ex', 'starting', 'hate', 'want', 'worry', 'helping', 'think', 'lucky', 'could', 'something', 'anything', 'take', 'life', 'would', 'almost', 'feel', 'sense', 'relief', 'someone', 'go', 'talk', 'cant', 'honest', 'due', 'wanting', 'committed', 'making', 'people', 'thinki', 'amcrazy', 'absolute', 'loser', 'life', 'nothing', 'show', 'plus', 'year', 'earth', 'someone', 'took', 'granted', 'nowi', 'amalone', 'fighting', 'battle', 'head', 'everyday', 'finally', 'give', 'people', 'really', 'complex', 'shallow', 'superficial', 'thing', 'life', 'truly', 'good', 'loving', 'caring', 'people', 'world', 'crazy']
130
['give', 'one', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'end', 'suffering', 'ive', 'miserable', 'past', 'yeari', 'amhaving', 'debilitating', 'diarrhea', 'loss', 'appetite', 'occasional', 'bloody', 'stool', 'abdominal', 'pain', 'weight', 'loss', 'third', 'night', 'week', 'awoke', 'due', 'sudden', 'abdominal', 'pain', 'quality', 'life', 'absolute', 'piss', 'parent', 'tell', 'headalso', 'fault', 'doctor', 'taking', 'seriously', 'wont', 'take', 'doctor', 'dont', 'know', 'see', 'point', 'continuing', 'live', 'since', 'symptom', 'getting', 'worse', 'look', 'like', 'could', 'long', 'time', 'get', 'correct', 'diagnosis', 'already', 'tried', 'hang', 'month', 'ago', 'end', 'pain', 'failed', 'next', 'timei', 'sure']
74
['dosent', 'get', 'better', 'doe', 'school', 'suck', 'much', 'parent', 'douchebags', 'cant', 'find', 'livei', 'amfucking', 'want', 'die', 'everyday', 'tomorrow', 'seems', 'distant', 'somebody', 'help', 'jump', 'wall']
23
['need', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'iti', 'amchris', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'life', 'floridai', 'amhomeschooled', 'friend', 'ive', 'suffering', 'major', 'depression', 'dysthymia', 'year', 'symptom', 'ocd', 'told', 'nobody', 'ive', 'using', 'weed', 'time', 'help', 'cope', 'anxiety', 'know', 'parent', 'dont', 'know', 'know', 'dab', 'pen', 'brother', 'found', 'invited', 'thats', 'main', 'reasoni', 'amdeppressed', 'anyway', 'twin', 'caught', 'using', 'around', 'morning', 'emotion', 'going', 'crazy', 'wa', 'breaking', 'point', 'feel', 'likei', 'amdead', 'inside', 'depression', 'ha', 'ever', 'started', 'inflicting', 'self', 'harm', 'anxiety', 'control', 'want', 'kill', 'anything', 'world', 'feel', 'likei', 'amloosing', 'grip', 'reality', 'dont', 'want', 'help', 'dont', 'know', 'cope', 'thisi', 'sure', 'whats', 'going', 'amconfused', 'decision', 'post', 'possibly', 'last', 'day', 'phone', 'computer', 'soi', 'going', 'review', 'comment', 'long', 'everythingi', 'amjust', 'looking', 'someone', 'help', 'though', 'tell', 'whats', 'going', 'dont', 'want', 'treatment', 'dont', 'want', 'talk', 'anybody', 'severe', 'social', 'anxiety', 'trouble', 'talking', 'people', 'secret', 'try', 'hide', 'amhesitant', 'say', 'even', 'online', 'life', 'online', 'dont', 'interact', 'anyone', 'online', 'friend', 'dont', 'even', 'anyone', 'talk', 'someone', 'help', 'please', 'sorry', 'incorrect', 'grammar', 'spelling', 'usually', 'dont', 'type', 'phone', 'autocorrect', 'fag']
154
['took', 'unknown', 'number', 'valium', 'codeine', 'farewell', 'already', 'feel', 'drifting', 'goodbyeediti', 'amalive', 'woke', 'sometime', 'earlier', 'bathroom', 'floor', 'bottle', 'booze', 'next', 'covered', 'spew', 'cant', 'remember', 'got', 'amsick', 'fucki', 'still', 'alive', 'appreciate', 'supporti', 'still']
31
['might', 'finally', 'able', 'post', 'lot', 'might', 'able', 'pull', 'time', 'might', 'finally', 'kill', 'hope', 'cani', 'amcrying', 'hate', 'cry', 'hate', 'autistic', 'much', 'need', 'hug']
22
['thinki', 'going', 'another', 'post', 'thinki', 'going', 'go', 'within', 'next', 'hour']
10
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178
['person', 'want', 'believe', 'hope', 'getting', 'betteri', 'ama', 'senior', 'college', 'let', 'depression', 'get', 'better', 'sophomore', 'year', 'cost', 'grade', 'number', 'friendship', 'two', 'people', 'reached', 'help', 'preferred', 'deal', 'understand', 'tough', 'talk', 'tougher', 'hear', 'happening', 'someone', 'know', 'brother', 'tried', 'commit', 'suicide', 'month', 'ago', 'still', 'remember', 'called', 'tell', 'bawled', 'hour', 'thought', 'losing', 'seems', 'like', 'good', 'place', 'three', 'week', 'childhood', 'dog', 'passed', 'away', 'try', 'think', 'get', 'dark', 'dont', 'want', 'anyone', 'feeling', 'way', 'especially', 'brother', 'love', 'anything', 'worldi', 'amusually', 'pretty', 'good', 'shaking', 'dark', 'thought', 'staying', 'busy', 'best', 'every', 'time', 'go', 'see', 'friend', 'see', 'look', 'eye', 'like', 'know', 'mess', 'biding', 'time', 'graduation', 'defined', 'relationship', 'person', 'used', 'best', 'friend', 'freshman', 'year', 'moved', 'found', 'someone', 'else', 'began', 'drifting', 'apart', 'got', 'clingy', 'didnt', 'respect', 'boundary', 'tried', 'stay', 'friend', 'refuse', 'talk', 'mei', 'ambetter', 'wa', 'still', 'spend', 'night', 'alone', 'casual', 'hookup', 'stopped', 'enough', 'distraction', 'think', 'wa', 'unhealthy', 'think', 'suicide', 'comforting', 'oddly', 'familiar', 'think', 'noose', 'around', 'neck', 'gun', 'mouth', 'jumping', 'trafficand', 'worst', 'part', 'think', 'somehow', 'make', 'everyone', 'hurt', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'dont', 'know', 'wherei', 'going', 'graduate', 'literally', 'professionally', 'want', 'start', 'life', 'better', 'person', 'possibility', 'give', 'hope', 'dont', 'want', 'look', 'back', 'college', 'experience', 'low', 'point', 'thats', 'shaping', 'number', 'relationship', 'damaged', 'fix', 'amscared', 'keep', 'trying', 'thati', 'amscared', 'realization', 'problem', 'fault', 'remember', 'something', 'read', 'four', 'face', 'person', 'wear', 'lifethe', 'first', 'show', 'everyone', 'present', 'world', 'second', 'shown', 'friend', 'family', 'third', 'one', 'two', 'people', 'fourth', 'never', 'show', 'anyone', 'face', 'truest', 'reflection', 'fourth', 'face', 'isnt', 'want', 'think', 'getting', 'worse', 'life', 'becomes', 'real']
232
['getting', 'helpi', 'cant', 'believei', 'still', 'wa', 'brother', 'would', 'beat', 'everyday', 'school', 'guess', 'toughened', 'tried', 'thing', 'sexually', 'growing', 'thati', 'amashamed', 'developed', 'fetish', 'anal', 'porno', 'industry', 'ha', 'kept', 'customer', 'destroyed', 'every', 'romantic', 'relationship', 'ive', 'ever', 'ci', 'normative', 'behaviori', 'attracted', 'dude', 'recent', 'year', 'moved', 'tranny', 'porn', 'counter', 'rejection', 'way', 'feel', 'woman', 'ive', 'studied', 'psychology', 'tool', 'manipulate', 'someone', 'actually', 'giving', 'shit', 'avail', 'alone', 'ive', 'always', 'alone', 'never', 'find', 'love', 'dont', 'love', 'try', 'put', 'positive', 'shit', 'like', 'positive', 'shit', 'think', 'level', 'people', 'must', 'see', 'flaw', 'nobody', 'actually', 'give', 'shit', 'shit', 'really', 'fucked', 'narcotic', 'anonymous', 'coming', 'clean', 'trusting', 'exposed', 'actually', 'branded', 'fagi', 'rate', 'know', 'bullshit', 'could', 'end', 'hurting', 'people', 'dont', 'get', 'help', 'ive', 'dealt', 'shrink', 'think', 'bunch', 'blood', 'sucking', 'parasite', 'want', 'medication', 'would', 'efficient', 'way', 'get', 'anti', 'depressant', 'dont', 'want', 'pay', 'pretentious', 'prick', 'working', 'hour', 'every', 'one', 'talk', 'feeling']
133
['two', 'week', 'go', 'luxury', 'doctor', 'get', 'classified', 'drugsi', 'going', 'shit', 'lot', 'trauma', 'need', 'two', 'week', 'meet', 'person', 'one', 'last', 'time', 'ask', 'fucki', 'ampushed', 'corner', 'literally', 'option', 'left', 'need', 'survive', 'next', 'two', 'week', 'please', 'somebody', 'keep', 'talking', 'two', 'week', 'ghost', 'away', 'real', 'whatsappjay']
42
['talk', 'loved', 'one', 'reason', 'hang', 'hurt', 'loved', 'one', 'mainly', 'wife', 'mother', 'life', 'heavy', 'suffocate', 'way', 'id', 'wish', 'theyd', 'give', 'acceptance', 'least', 'forgive', 'able', 'live', 'without', 'much', 'grief', 'theyll', 'never', 'accept', 'worried', 'tell', 'get', 'better', 'dont', 'believe', 'comfort', 'never', 'work', 'minute', 'need', 'free', 'realistically', 'make', 'feel', 'bad', 'wont', 'help', 'anyone', 'would', 'good', 'could', 'let', 'go', 'could', 'give', 'good', 'hug', 'leave', 'peace', 'isi', 'amjust', 'feel', 'slightly', 'jealous', 'people', 'die', 'natural', 'reason', 'without', 'burden', 'destroyed', 'everyone', 'around', 'themso', 'opinion', 'whether', 'spare', 'worry', 'happens', 'happens', 'introduce', 'idea', 'hope', 'could', 'digest', 'thanks', 'insightedit', 'want', 'leave', 'life', 'feel', 'bad', 'youll', 'hide', 'dirty', 'job', 'destroying', 'people', 'around', 'really', 'shame', 'one', 'didnt', 'feel', 'bad', 'enough', 'already', 'legal', 'accepted', 'solution', 'could', 'leave', 'arm', 'love', 'would', 'much', 'better']
118
['escape', 'one', 'friend', 'killed', 'summer', 'told', 'didnt', 'want', 'anyone', 'feel', 'way', 'felt', 'put', 'away', 'suicide', 'thought', 'long', 'enough', 'coming', 'back', 'understand', 'come', 'time', 'someone', 'feel', 'trapped', 'escape', 'dont', 'feel', 'way', 'never', 'understand', 'type', 'pain']
34
['fuck', 'school', 'ever', 'since', 'remember', 'teacher', 'people', 'created', 'problem', 'social', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'feeling', 'shame', 'live', 'rest', 'life', 'panic', 'attack', 'dont', 'enjoy', 'life', 'reasoni', 'ending', 'dont', 'want', 'leave', 'knowing', 'one']
29
['need', 'reading', 'send', 'brain', 'wave', 'helping', 'die', 'idk', 'sorry']
9
['day', 'long', 'girlfriend', 'day', 'could', 'peace', 'wish', 'latter', 'happened', 'often']
10
['feel', 'likei', 'amgetting', 'close', 'knew', 'wa', 'getting', 'worse', 'ha', 'appointment', 'psychiatrist', 'coming', 'hurricane', 'appointment', 'wa', 'cancelled', 'havent', 'class', 'two', 'week', 'done', 'school', 'work', 'every', 'time', 'think', 'realize', 'big', 'piece', 'shit', 'much', 'want', 'die']
33
['today', 'told', 'wa', 'going', 'ive', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'couple', 'time', 'past', 'took', 'fuck', 'ton', 'pain', 'killer', 'got', 'real', 'sick', 'didnt', 'die', 'recently', 'ive', 'loaded', 'gun', 'put', 'head', 'chose', 'pull', 'trigger', 'today', 'wa', 'work', 'decided', 'wa', 'actually', 'going', 'pull', 'trigger', 'tonight', 'today', 'wa', 'worse', 'normal', 'simply', 'today', 'felt', 'like', 'right', 'day', 'pointi', 'ampretty', 'drunk', 'dont', 'think', 'actually', 'dont', 'really', 'trust', 'dont', 'money', 'deal', 'mental', 'willness', 'live', 'u', 'dont', 'see', 'changing', 'anytime', 'soon', 'ive', 'tried', 'reach', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'nobody', 'know', 'say', 'guess', 'isnt', 'anything', 'say', 'guessi', 'amjust', 'endless', 'cycle', 'frequently', 'decide', 'actually', 'finally']
91
['ive', 'dozen', 'counsellor', 'ive', 'tried', 'hundred', 'different', 'med', 'ive', 'talked', 'charity', 'ae', 'nothing', 'help', 'youre', 'reaching', 'youre', 'looking', 'help', 'still', 'desire', 'live', 'even', 'life', 'youre', 'one', 'want', 'even', 'flame', 'life', 'ha', 'dimmed', 'still', 'burning', 'somewhere', 'deep', 'downwhats', 'going', 'man', 'anything', 'wanna', 'talk']
42
['trapped', 'box', 'mentally', 'physically', 'hiya', 'reddit', 'hope', 'right', 'sub', 'thisive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'awhile', 'ive', 'past', 'couple', 'year', 'recently', 'theyve', 'peaked', 'pretty', 'bada', 'little', 'bit', 'mei', 'bisexual', 'live', 'south', 'medium', 'sizedish', 'awful', 'town', 'great', 'plain', 'high', 'crime', 'rate', 'awful', 'weather', 'usually', 'also', 'church', 'every', 'street', 'corner', 'lgbt', 'friendly', 'placeas', 'result', 'imaginei', 'amheavily', 'closeted', 'stressful', 'parent', 'also', 'pretty', 'homophobic', 'actually', 'asked', 'father', 'expected', 'life', 'response', 'wa', 'dont', 'turn', 'gay', 'guess', 'disappoint', 'everyonei', 'amevery', 'way', 'possible', 'lolive', 'homeschooled', 'since', 'wa', 'extremely', 'socially', 'isolated', 'friend', 'online', 'parent', 'paranoid', 'conspiracy', 'theory', 'hermit', 'type', 'almost', 'never', 'take', 'anywherealso', 'pretty', 'much', 'gave', 'homeschooling', 'year', 'ago', 'lay', 'bed', 'day', 'nothing', 'pretty', 'much', 'way', 'day', 'start', 'blend', 'really', 'disconcertingi', 'think', 'alot', 'mental', 'emotional', 'problem', 'social', 'isolation', 'parent', 'always', 'kind', 'emotionally', 'distant', 'weird', 'mom', 'ha', 'extreme', 'anxiety', 'problem', 'father', 'depressed', 'time', 'ive', 'asked', 'see', 'therapist', 'conspiracy', 'nut', 'think', 'therapist', 'quack', 'wont', 'take', 'one', 'also', 'pretty', 'poor', 'affording', 'would', 'issuei', 'hobby', 'play', 'guitar', 'skateboard', 'sometimes', 'everything', 'feel', 'meaningless', 'bland', 'dont', 'feel', 'anything', 'anymore', 'none', 'thing', 'made', 'happy', 'really', 'work', 'anymore', 'dont', 'energy', 'get', 'exercise', 'improve', 'myselfim', 'rut', 'dont', 'see', 'way', 'none', 'family', 'care', 'help', 'ive', 'tried']
185
['severely', 'depressed', 'constant', 'anxiety', 'insomnia', 'failed', 'operation', 'want', 'die', 'hi', 'feel', 'like', 'talking', 'thing']
14
['amending', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amposting', 'selfish', 'want', 'live', 'life', 'thats', 'unfair', 'cruel']
12
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77
['need', 'someone', 'hold', 'right', 'spent', 'hour', 'computer', 'chair', 'shaking', 'cry', 'feel', 'alone', 'want', 'hold', 'closely', 'someone', 'feel', 'like', 'mind', 'running', 'mile', 'every', 'second', 'criticizing', 'every', 'fucking', 'little', 'thing', 'cry', 'want', 'reach', 'held', 'something', 'stupid', 'like', 'feel', 'like', 'post', 'unanswered', 'nobody', 'care', 'need', 'release', 'somewhere', 'dont', 'keep', 'cry', 'want', 'know', 'someone', 'care', 'want', 'someone', 'hug', 'feel', 'fucking', 'pathetic', 'right']
58
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157
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91
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67
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100
['want', 'die', 'tonight', 'wish', 'done', 'year', 'ago', 'want', 'stop', 'sad', 'want', 'ex', 'back', 'want', 'stop', 'syndrome', 'causing', 'constant', 'muscle', 'spasmsi', 'cant', 'anymore', 'enough', 'pill', 'fucking', 'tempting', 'miss', 'fucking', 'muchi', 'alone']
30
['dont', 'want', 'see', 'feeling', 'impulsive', 'want', 'kill', 'want', 'cut', 'something', 'literally', 'idea', 'ive', 'head', 'dont', 'want', 'make', 'th', 'birthday', 'need', 'help']
21
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71
['ugh', 'whatever', 'say', 'going', 'sound', 'exactly', 'like', 'everyone', 'else', 'point', 'even', 'tryingi', 'feel', 'lack', 'motivation', 'anything', 'amextremely', 'unhappy', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'keep', 'goingthe', 'worst', 'part', 'knowing', 'likely', 'get', 'buried', 'yet', 'another', 'one', 'post', 'go', 'unnoticed']
35
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273
['short', 'question', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'talk', 'suicide', 'unlessi', 'anonymous', 'internet', 'kind', 'actually', 'want', 'talk', 'someone', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'pain', 'suffering', 'pointless', 'struggle', 'even', 'nobody', 'know', 'suicidal', 'best', 'friend', 'parent', 'anybody', 'alli', 'really', 'scared', 'even', 'mention', 'iti', 'even', 'sure', 'itll', 'achieve']
44
['lost', 'job', 'dont', 'want', 'homeless', 'sick', 'dont', 'know', 'wa', 'homeless', 'year', 'ago', 'cancer', 'social', 'worker', 'hospital', 'put', 'shelter', 'knew', 'wa', 'sick', 'dont', 'anything', 'like', 'cant', 'sleep', 'sidewalk', 'people', 'violent', 'cop', 'violent', 'keep', 'fear', 'bay', 'telling', 'cant', 'find', 'something', 'safe', 'kill', 'sick', 'walk', 'around', 'outdoors', 'diabetic', 'cant', 'find', 'food', 'mind', 'stop', 'working', 'well', 'dont', 'know', 'worn', 'generosity', 'friend', 'struggling', 'came', 'eastern', 'pa', 'friend', 'wa', 'going', 'take', 'didnt', 'money', 'close', 'used', 'dont', 'know', 'local', 'resource', 'wa', 'wa', 'west', 'coast', 'wish', 'could', 'go', 'back', 'id', 'walk', 'wood', 'little', 'way', 'done', 'brain', 'isnt', 'working', 'well', 'enough', 'save', 'ive', 'downward', 'spiral', 'ever', 'since', 'lost', 'real', 'job', 'year', 'ago', 'temping', 'isnt', 'going', 'keep', 'street', 'family', 'hate', 'queer', 'people', 'dont', 'know', 'exhausted']
115
['thinki', 'ama', 'bad', 'person', 'hi', 'thanks', 'taking', 'time', 'read', 'pretty', 'long', 'history', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'fight', 'husband', 'today', 'judged', 'action', 'immoral', 'talked', 'issue', 'realized', 'action', 'longer', 'struck', 'immoralhe', 'wa', 'really', 'hurt', 'judged', 'told', 'would', 'never', 'judge', 'realizes', 'thati', 'amthe', 'kind', 'person', 'judge', 'agree', 'judge', 'himi', 'feel', 'horrible', 'realizing', 'thati', 'amthe', 'sort', 'person', 'judge', 'others', 'never', 'thought', 'way', 'unignorable', 'evidence', 'feel', 'like', 'worst', 'kind', 'person', 'hated', 'unkindi', 'feel', 'like', 'killing', 'right', 'probably', 'temporary', 'dont', 'really', 'friend', 'feel', 'reach', 'dont', 'want', 'melt', 'husband', 'say', 'sometimes', 'use', 'emotional', 'battery', 'please', 'reach', 'methanks']
88
['wa', 'porn', 'video', 'wa', 'two', 'year', 'later', 'want', 'kill', 'happened', 'wa', 'struggling', 'undiagnosed', 'ptsd', 'sexual', 'assault', 'got', 'med', 'got', 'therapy', 'wa', 'industry', 'couple', 'month', 'made', 'one', 'video', 'didnt', 'anything', 'except', 'kiss', 'naked', 'feel', 'like', 'wa', 'using', 'camming', 'take', 'back', 'control', 'body', 'completely', 'regret', 'feel', 'ashamed', 'every', 'time', 'girl', 'still', 'business', 'share', 'video', 'twitter', 'feel', 'ashamed', 'disgusted', 'tried', 'reach', 'used', 'good', 'friend', 'hasnt', 'spoken', 'since', 'feel', 'disgusting', 'feel', 'hopeless', 'know', 'people', 'highschool', 'know', 'soi', 'amsure', 'theyve', 'seen', 'video', 'honestly', 'want', 'kill', 'fucking', 'stupid']
82
['ive', 'neglected', 'thrown', 'deep', 'water', 'cant', 'swim', 'dont', 'make', 'painless', 'quick', 'drown', 'anyways', 'cant', 'swim', 'thats', 'life', 'january', 'year', 'randomly', 'warning', 'police', 'show', 'throw', 'dad', 'house', 'reason', 'proposed', 'court', 'order', 'wa', 'written', 'mom', 'lawyer', 'throw', 'u', 'somehow', 'police', 'think', 'order', 'warrant', 'bust', 'door', 'throw', 'u', 'let', 'fake', 'family', 'house', 'fake', 'mom', 'uncle', 'brother', 'cousin', 'came', 'smashed', 'house', 'totally', 'destroyed', 'ptsd', 'point', 'hallucinate', 'part', 'event', 'wa', 'hiding', 'room', 'scared', 'wa', 'phone', 'dad', 'lawyer', 'wa', 'telling', 'call', 'police', 'said', 'wa', 'outrageously', 'willegal', 'hard', 'time', 'dialing', 'never', 'wa', 'scared', 'suddenly', 'start', 'pounding', 'bedroom', 'door', 'fake', 'brother', 'fake', 'cousin', 'come', 'attack', 'received', 'severe', 'concussion', 'dont', 'know', 'sovile', 'aggressive', 'want', 'turn', 'room', 'upside', 'stole', 'little', 'money', 'could', 'findi', 'ama', 'jobless', 'year', 'old', 'lot', 'take', 'couldnt', 'get', 'job', 'wa', 'battling', 'anxiety', 'disorder', 'got', 'fired', 'job', 'reason', 'semptember', 'justice', 'situation', 'found', 'today', 'really', 'depressingi', 'amliving', 'sister', 'want', 'move', 'husband', 'doesnt', 'want', 'assaulted', 'twice', 'punched', 'face', 'blue', 'werent', 'even', 'talking', 'also', 'shoved', 'room', 'shut', 'never', 'really', 'knew', 'cant', 'move', 'though', 'yes', 'skipped', 'lot', 'ive', 'separated', 'dad', 'ive', 'asking', 'ever', 'found', 'new', 'place', 'u', 'live', 'hasnt', 'found', 'anything', 'revealed', 'thousand', 'upon', 'thousand', 'dollar', 'wa', 'stolen', 'house', 'day', 'struggling', 'pay', 'month', 'rent', 'living', 'currently', 'idk', 'havent', 'received', 'justice', 'doubt', 'dad', 'fix', 'nh', 'doj', 'said', 'would', 'court', 'said', 'happened', 'day', 'january', 'wa', 'never', 'ordered', 'happen', 'dont', 'know', 'supposed', 'doi', 'amheaded', 'god', 'damn', 'street', 'age', 'corruption', 'state', 'brother', 'law', 'say', 'november', 'amout', 'place', 'whether', 'place', 'go', 'noti', 'still', 'high', 'school', 'freshman', 'wa', 'homeschooled', 'family', 'split', 'caused', 'crash', 'parent', 'oppose', 'public', 'school', 'wa', 'forced', 'school', 'wanted', 'wa', 'supposed', 'didnt', 'know', 'anything', 'without', 'support', 'parent', 'dad', 'solution', 'wa', 'get', 'ged', 'needed', 'opportunity', 'coach', 'anxiety', 'disorder', 'broken', 'hateful', 'family', 'dont', 'know', 'dream', 'want', 'dentist', 'lawyer', 'take', 'year', 'though', 'either', 'job', 'want', 'musicianfilm', 'maker', 'hopefully', 'make', 'two', 'life', 'ha', 'theme', 'behind', 'passion', 'help', 'people', 'really', 'music', 'powerful', 'healer', 'film', 'great', 'distraction', 'pain', 'kind', 'become', 'lawyer', 'want', 'help', 'people', 'bullied', 'criminal', 'corruption', 'dentist', 'thats', 'like', 'physically', 'healing', 'people', 'dentistry', 'still', 'somethingi', 'really', 'scared', 'want', 'one', 'feel', 'like', 'heal', 'people', 'sort', 'pain', 'guess', 'important', 'remember', 'dream', 'hard', 'see', 'reality', 'dont', 'know', 'start', 'cant', 'go', 'college', 'ive', 'beaten', 'ground', 'ive', 'neglected', 'idk', 'whati', 'amsupposed', 'parent', 'help', 'mei', 'amactually', 'headed', 'streetsi', 'ama', 'fucking', 'high', 'school', 'freshmani', 'wrote', 'suicidal', 'note', 'plan', 'october', 'th', 'christmas', 'idk', 'blame', 'fucking', 'hate', 'christmas', 'really', 'hate', 'christmas', 'family', 'spend', 'reason', 'happy', 'idk', 'selfish', 'say', 'happy', 'people', 'around', 'worse', 'feel', 'way', 'honestly', 'see', 'way', 'yearold', 'kid', 'first', 'year', 'high', 'school', 'supposed', 'facing', 'homelessness', 'unsupportive', 'parent', 'one', 'cant', 'support', 'teacher', 'place', 'call', 'home', 'work', 'way', 'something', 'stand']
419
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314
['music', 'spark', 'everythings', 'good', 'rough', 'bit', 'back', 'would', 'post', 'seperate', 'account', 'vent', 'thing', 'better', 'got', 'bright', 'idea', 'chill', 'outside', 'hammock', 'tonight', 'listen', 'music', 'back', 'bad', 'day', 'coming', 'back', 'wanna', 'die', 'link', 'suicidal', 'dont', 'wanna', 'continue', 'sometimes', 'wanna', 'ruin', 'life', 'like', 'start', 'hard', 'addictive', 'drug', 'ruin', 'relationship', 'go', 'awol', 'ruin', 'life', 'bring', 'destruction', 'chaos', 'complete', 'dont', 'understand', 'yall', 'keep', 'courage', 'move', 'like', 'chug', 'along', 'extra', 'baggage', 'dragging', 'drowning']
67
['attempt', 'saturday', 'night', 'thats', 'happened', 'whole', 'process', 'wa', 'impulsive', 'last', 'thought', 'nothing', 'serious', 'took', 'maybe', 'anti', 'seizure', 'pill', 'last', 'thing', 'remember', 'wa', 'laying', 'stair', 'looking', 'cat', 'thinking', 'amazing', 'look', 'nature', 'beautiful', 'suddenly', 'obscured', 'flash', 'consciousness', 'saw', 'iv', 'needle', 'arm', 'saw', 'dad', 'long', 'hair', 'purple', 'plaid', 'sweater', 'darkness', 'light', 'nurse', 'walk', 'informs', 'parent', 'found', 'marijuana', 'system', 'wa', 'surprise', 'whatever', 'reason', 'didnt', 'worry', 'id', 'say', 'wa', 'fucking', 'die', 'suddenly', 'wake', 'bed', 'familiar', 'room', 'ive', 'spent', 'much', 'time', 'becoming', 'room', 'room', 'familiarity', 'setting', 'along', 'mother', 'step', 'dad', 'around', 'gave', 'enough', 'comfort', 'forget', 'happened', 'ate', 'breakfast', 'convinced', 'leave', 'alone', 'slowly', 'coming', 'time', 'noon', 'wa', 'time', 'wa', 'much', 'happier', 'wa', 'really', 'wanted', 'monday', 'september', 'th']
110
['year', 'old', 'year', 'win', 'die', 'year', 'year', 'doe', 'live', 'successful', 'dont', 'end', 'look', 'better', 'right', 'dream', 'accomplished', 'everything', 'go', 'total', 'shit', 'right', 'go', 'mall', 'mom', 'one', 'day', 'run', 'jump', 'highest', 'floor', 'ha', 'thoroughly', 'plannedif', 'year', 'happen', 'somewhat', 'successful', 'end', 'looking', 'better', 'somehow', 'end', 'taking', 'someone', 'junior', 'ball', 'end', 'making', 'actual', 'friend', 'respect', 'dieim', 'sayingi', 'amsuicidal', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'fact', 'ive', 'never', 'hurt', 'cut', 'even', 'oncei', 'amterrified', 'death', 'said', 'year', 'fail', 'year', 'ultimately', 'guaranteed', 'rest', 'life', 'shall', 'continue', 'way', 'better', 'dead', 'say', 'truly', 'serious']
84
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22
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1527
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29
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40
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26
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24
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13
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135
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18
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89
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197
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63
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26
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463
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38
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151
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268
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111
['say', 'get', 'better', 'get', 'worse', 'cant', 'anymore', 'every', 'time', 'get', 'close', 'even', 'getting', 'better', 'crash', 'burn', 'matter', 'week', 'downward', 'spiral', 'since']
21
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62
['hang', 'jump', 'tinnitus', 'ha', 'driven', 'edge', 'nowi', 'amstarting', 'get', 'serious', 'dying', 'want', 'die', 'painless', 'manor', 'cowardly', 'shoot', 'method', 'better', 'especially', 'want', 'brain', 'organ', 'preserved']
24
['want', 'friend', 'done', 'lost', 'everything', 'including', 'child', 'fight', 'left', 'think', 'got', 'right', 'praying', 'work']
14
['first', 'time', 'contemplating', 'ending', 'thing', 'ive', 'battling', 'depression', 'since', 'teen', 'never', 'really', 'taken', 'idea', 'taking', 'life', 'never', 'reached', 'point', 'close', 'recent', 'break', 'ha', 'made', 'spiral', 'state', 'despair', 'could', 'never', 'imagine', 'possible', 'feeling', 'worthlessness', 'ive', 'spent', 'nearly', 'decade', 'fighting', 'came', 'back', 'one', 'moment', 'constant', 'feeling', 'hopelessness', 'pain', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'one', 'person', 'thought', 'would', 'spend', 'rest', 'life', 'ha', 'deleted', 'though', 'meant', 'nothing', 'ruined', 'try', 'put', 'brave', 'face', 'remind', 'eventually', 'get', 'move', 'doesnt', 'work', 'nothing', 'help', 'day', 'ago', 'came', 'mind', 'would', 'better', 'dead', 'ever', 'since', 'think', 'even', 'dreamt', 'successfully', 'killing', 'brings', 'comfort', 'knowing', 'option', 'available']
93
['ambeing', 'ridiculous', 'suffer', 'anxiety', 'attack', 'big', 'whoop', 'probably', 'everyone', 'doe', 'get', 'worse', 'go', 'college', 'everyday', 'feel', 'like', 'noone', 'want', 'like', 'could', 'care', 'le', 'whether', 'go', 'class', 'morning', 'advisor', 'walked', 'past', 'without', 'saying', 'hello', 'didnt', 'even', 'look', 'way', 'feel', 'like', 'ted', 'life', 'scrub', 'thati', 'ampathetic', 'worthless', 'man', 'feel', 'likei', 'ampreaching', 'choir', 'goal', 'day', 'feel', 'like', 'anxiety', 'overwhelms', 'goal', 'want', 'better', 'life', 'right', 'think', 'leaving', 'never', 'coming', 'back', 'feel', 'worthless', 'needy', 'like', 'problem', 'big', 'need', 'stranger', 'help', 'want', 'go', 'back', 'home', 'never', 'leave', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'class', 'start', 'class', 'pm', 'thats', 'hour', 'trapped', 'people', 'hate', 'plus', 'bc', 'irma', 'havent', 'done', 'homework', 'feel', 'like', 'even', 'bigger', 'waste', 'space', 'knowi', 'ambeing', 'ridiculous', 'one', 'person', 'didnt', 'greet', 'doesnt', 'mean', 'kill', 'want', 'bad', 'want', 'jump', 'building', 'might', 'inconvenience', 'themi', 'amjust', 'tired']
125
['know', 'need', 'seek', 'help', 'cant', 'afford', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'ha', 'getting', 'worse', 'month', 'last', 'week', 'good', 'friend', 'killed', 'know', 'normal', 'lot', 'guilt', 'sorrow', 'see', 'anymore', 'ive', 'trying', 'allow', 'grieve', 'timei', 'amhappy', 'suffering', 'anymore', 'last', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'wa', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'ive', 'really', 'researching', 'think', 'plan', 'need', 'get', 'affair', 'order', 'logically', 'know', 'need', 'get', 'help', 'cant', 'afford', 'live', 'several', 'state', 'away', 'closest', 'friend', 'family', 'intentional', 'community', 'people', 'live', 'work', 'great', 'anyone', 'id', 'go', 'psychiatrist', 'also', 'several', 'state', 'away', 'back', 'home', 'got', 'job', 'volunteered', 'company', 'full', 'time', 'last', 'year', 'wa', 'offered', 'salaried', 'position', 'working', 'week', 'cant', 'screw', 'upi', 'far', 'debt', 'rack', 'hospital', 'bill', 'couldnt', 'even', 'take', 'time', 'go', 'inpatient', 'get', 'vacation', 'day', 'year', 'want', 'use', 'go', 'home', 'christmas', 'know', 'whatll', 'end', 'happening', 'attempt', 'hopefully', 'succeed', 'way', 'see', 'choicei', 'amalone', 'either', 'way']
128
['got', 'last', 'thing', 'ex', 'house', 'today', 'reason', 'hang', 'around', 'anymore', 'everything', 'hurt', 'want', 'sleep', 'away']
15
['needing', 'die', 'good', 'cause', 'bad', 'thing', 'happen', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'rapedthen', 'several', 'week', 'later', 'wa', 'raped', 'feel', 'like', 'cause', 'rapesi', 'think', 'drove', 'someone', 'kill', 'bullyingi', 'amthe', 'reason', 'mom', 'suicidal', 'impoverished', 'tell', 'regulsrlyi', 'feel', 'like', 'world', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'hardly', 'aspirationsi', 'hard', 'worker', 'ive', 'crushed', 'many', 'time', 'romantically', 'got', 'fetish', 'based', 'ldridki', 'know', 'clich', 'say', 'world', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'benefiting', 'anything', 'would', 'better', 'feed', 'worm']
63
['despise', 'life', 'constantly', 'stressed', 'dayi', 'amnever', 'feeling', 'human', 'anymore', 'thing', 'like', 'escape', 'misery', 'pointless', 'feel', 'like', 'hopeless']
17
['living', 'lie', 'year', 'light', 'end', 'tunnel', 'life', 'fucked', 'ive', 'pretending', 'go', 'university', 'last', 'year', 'lying', 'family', 'friend', 'feel', 'lonely', 'end', 'rope', 'ive', 'probably', 'got', 'many', 'issue', 'dont', 'know', 'everything', 'lead', 'big', 'issue', 'lying', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'around', 'wasnt', 'burden', 'issue', 'world', 'scared', 'anything', 'though', 'first', 'time', 'ive', 'vocalized', 'huge', 'problem', 'usually', 'lie', 'distract', 'tvinternet', 'need', 'help', 'please']
56
['try', 'posted', 'someplace', 'else', 'hope', 'doesnt', 'break', 'rule', 'suffer', 'severe', 'chronic', 'pain', 'something', 'called', 'crp', 'complex', 'regional', 'pain', 'syndrome', 'extremely', 'painful', 'time', 'thought', 'great', 'support', 'system', 'would', 'boyfriend', 'go', 'appointment', 'family', 'would', 'take', 'procedure', 'needed', 'someone', 'mom', 'work', 'really', 'hard', 'abusive', 'father', 'abandoned', 'u', 'mother', 'wa', 'fighting', 'cancer', 'find', 'new', 'place', 'live', 'younger', 'sister', 'worked', 'job', 'help', 'pay', 'bill', 'still', 'pay', 'rent', 'mom', 'remission', 'work', 'double', 'shift', 'sister', 'didnt', 'even', 'care', 'enough', 'sign', 'birthday', 'cardnow', 'today', 'waiting', 'boyfriend', 'show', 'going', 'break', 'lose', 'lose', 'love', 'life', 'lose', 'support', 'lose', 'ability', 'go', 'dream', 'pa', 'lose', 'close', 'friend', 'importantly', 'lose', 'thought', 'would', 'family', 'since', 'mine', 'cant', 'take', 'lot', 'different', 'medication', 'willing', 'bet', 'take', 'able', 'cause', 'sort', 'fatal', 'overdose']
115
['today', 'day', 'say', 'goodbye', 'wanted', 'leave', 'part', 'story', 'behind', 'kill', 'experienced', 'family', 'loss', 'year', 'ago', 'closely', 'long', 'term', 'relationship', 'ended', 'top', 'stress', 'hardest', 'year', 'college', 'piled', 'sort', 'breakdown', 'point', 'couldnt', 'study', 'anymore', 'last', 'year', 'constant', 'cycle', 'avoiding', 'anxiety', 'attack', 'dread', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'started', 'therapy', 'month', 'ago', 'already', 'appointment', 'although', 'little', 'improvement', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'help', 'enough', 'therapist', 'said', 'experienced', 'year', 'ago', 'kind', 'trauma', 'could', 'work', 'past', 'month', 'literal', 'hell', 'experienced', 'another', 'loss', 'family', 'week', 'ago', 'tomorrow', 'finaland', 'important', 'exam', 'studied', 'basically', 'nothing', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'go', 'living', 'like', 'decided', 'tonight', 'end', 'suppose', 'story', 'end', 'another', 'doe', 'begin']
97
['one', 'life', 'live', 'everyone', 'get', 'one', 'goddamn', 'life', 'one', 'chance', 'fail', 'oh', 'well', 'say', 'anyone', 'everyone', 'anything', 'everything', 'bullshit', 'unforgiving', 'harsh', 'coldhearted', 'world', 'isno', 'one', 'care', 'lie', 'say', 'could', 'die', 'right', 'people', 'might', 'talk', 'great', 'person', 'know', 'happens', 'next', 'move', 'oh', 'well', 'say', 'maybe', 'want', 'rather', 'toi', 'ready', 'die', 'fucking', 'hate', 'everyone', 'everything', 'life', 'existence', 'everything', 'ugly', 'cruel']
58
['bother', 'shitty', 'uphill', 'battlei', 'amnever', 'gonna', 'wini', 'ambetter', 'ending']
9
['painless', 'way', 'diei', 'really', 'want', 'end', 'life', 'nothing', 'ever', 'go', 'well', 'enough', 'screw', 'everything', 'people', 'come', 'life', 'leave', 'dont', 'know', 'definitely', 'problem', 'one', 'want', 'associate', 'cause', 'want', 'something', 'nothing', 'ever', 'good', 'enough', 'anyone', 'try', 'talk', 'people', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'make', 'seem', 'likei', 'amseeking', 'attention', 'cant', 'deal', 'hurdle', 'life', 'ha', 'put', 'way', 'ive', 'given', 'life', 'already', 'need', 'painless', 'way']
57
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11
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156
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195
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32
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52
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61
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321
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30
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52
['one', 'feel', 'way', 'ive', 'noticed', 'well', 'least', 'tend', 'handle', 'sadness', 'well', 'wheni', 'already', 'quite', 'despondent', 'wheni', 'perfectly', 'okay', 'sad', 'thought', 'attack', 'mood', 'immediately', 'take', 'turn', 'worse', 'almost', 'happyi', 'amletting', 'guard', 'somehow', 'susceptible', 'sad', 'thought', 'find', 'sad', 'time', 'sadi', 'know', 'irony', 'strong', 'onedoes', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'way']
46
['life', 'ha', 'meaning', 'point', 'life', 'fun', 'dont', 'think', 'iti', 'ennough', 'good', 'bye', 'world']
13
['dont', 'want', 'happy', 'want', 'dead', 'simple']
6
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114
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62
['doe', 'calling', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'track', 'calllog', 'itpotentially', 'tell', 'owner', 'household', 'called', 'sometimes', 'kind', 'depends', 'line', 'line', 'possible', 'notify', 'police', 'location', 'call', 'annnnnnyways', 'really', 'wanted', 'know', 'would', 'rather', 'someone', 'talk']
29
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41
['cut', 'tie', 'friend', 'hurt', 'le', 'kill', 'obviously', 'angry', 'sending', 'message', 'must', 'never', 'mattered', 'honestly', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'want', 'hate', 'hurt', 'le', 'wheni', 'amdeadi', 'going', 'kill', 'within', 'month', 'cannot', 'take', 'pain', 'anymore', 'unworthy', 'type', 'friendship', 'care', 'unworthy', 'living', 'general']
38
['want', 'die', 'bad', 'feel', 'like', 'life', 'ha', 'pointless', 'lie', 'real', 'friend', 'family', 'doe', 'really', 'care', 'ha', 'lied', 'manipulative', 'constant', 'conflict', 'trapped', 'living', 'mom', 'house', 'unable', 'find', 'job', 'pay', 'enough', 'move', 'humiliating', 'yr', 'old', 'male', 'treated', 'like', 'sort', 'mental', 'defect', 'around', 'feel', 'exhausted', 'used', 'optimistic', 'wa', 'younger', 'optimism', 'ha', 'withered', 'away', 'nothing', 'wave', 'wave', 'depression', 'getting', 'severei', 'relationship', 'seven', 'plus', 'year', 'ended', 'failing', 'ended', 'giving', 'giving', 'shit', 'live', 'stupid', 'rural', 'town', 'dumb', 'backwards', 'state', 'feel', 'completely', 'different', 'everyone', 'else', 'around', 'feel', 'alone', 'trapped', 'shrinking', 'box', 'constantly', 'tormented', 'anger', 'despair', 'unable', 'escape', 'misery', 'want', 'die', 'die', 'painlessly', 'stop', 'endless', 'cycle', 'disappointment', 'raped', 'lied', 'stolen', 'constantly', 'betrayed', 'supposed', 'friend', 'ex', 'thing', 'left', 'pain', 'sadness']
111
['start', 'hey', 'dont', 'know', 'startim', 'year', 'old', 'diagnosed', 'depression', 'bpd', 'see', 'meaning', 'life', 'long', 'time', 'people', 'would', 'kill', 'switch', 'position', 'well', 'paid', 'job', 'car', 'moving', 'apartment', 'soon', 'come', 'confident', 'person', 'whichi', 'noti', 'amdecent', 'looking', 'load', 'friend', 'pretty', 'good', 'social', 'statusi', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'make', 'sense', 'tho', 'hate', 'work', 'everyone', 'say', 'appreciate', 'pay', 'good', 'working', 'hour', 'absolutely', 'hate', 'hate', 'even', 'thought', 'able', 'decide', 'wake', 'spend', 'time', 'went', 'option', 'amworse', 'themi', 'hate', 'superficial', 'world', 'around', 'could', 'afford', 'fucking', 'iphone', 'nice', 'watch', 'easily', 'doesnt', 'make', 'sense', 'similar', 'stuff', 'half', 'price', 'work', 'good', 'even', 'better', 'people', 'need', 'show', 'hate', 'think', 'thati', 'amsmarter', 'majority', 'people', 'around', 'know', 'welli', 'feel', 'like', 'make', 'sense', 'feel', 'like', 'edgelord', 'talk', 'like', 'cant', 'help', 'iti', 'hate', 'smalltalk', 'conversation', 'bland', 'boring', 'idgaf', 'co', 'worker', 'weekend', 'know', 'got', 'drunk', 'went', 'cinema', 'something', 'cool', 'heyi', 'amall', 'tell', 'always', 'shiti', 'amhearingi', 'hate', 'read', 'lot', 'book', 'psychology', 'human', 'behaviour', 'know', 'people', 'act', 'certain', 'way', 'everyone', 'follows', 'herd', 'want', 'like', 'worry', 'againi', 'hate', 'cant', 'appreciate', 'wealth', 'caring', 'family', 'shitton', 'friend', 'cant', 'appreciate', 'thing', 'want', 'million', 'people', 'way', 'worse', 'doi', 'hate', 'put', 'mask', 'time', 'act', 'nice', 'everyone', 'hate', 'people', 'surround', 'cant', 'show', 'sad', 'work', 'friend', 'end', 'pity', 'dont', 'need', 'thati', 'amworse', 'pity', 'act', 'strong', 'confident', 'man', 'put', 'timei', 'hate', 'able', 'love', 'anyone', 'amazing', 'girl', 'like', 'cant', 'build', 'love', 'dont', 'trust', 'anybody', 'anymore', 'experience', 'read', 'human', 'relationship', 'romantic', 'work', 'possible', 'love', 'anyone', 'nice', 'put', 'many', 'standard', 'one', 'must', 'fulfill', 'like', 'quiet', 'impossible', 'ever', 'relationship', 'thing', 'thati', 'good', 'catch', 'either', 'cant', 'even', 'expect', 'anyone', 'like', 'real', 'plenty', 'people', 'like', 'maski', 'hate', 'sad', 'real', 'reason', 'hate', 'hating', 'much', 'sleeping', 'pattern', 'completely', 'fucked', 'day', 'sleep', 'hour', 'dont', 'sleep', 'like', 'today', 'havent', 'slept', 'minute', 'amheading', 'work', 'posting', 'someone', 'read', 'till', 'thanks', 'hearing', 'know', 'lot', 'probably', 'make', 'little', 'sense', 'contradicts', 'sorry', 'like', 'said', 'havent', 'slept', 'found', 'subreddit', 'wanted', 'get', 'shit', 'chesti', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'lot', 'past', 'year', 'wont', 'go', 'family', 'friend', 'made', 'pact', 'wheni', 'thing', 'still', 'shitty', 'rn', 'already', 'know', 'exactly', 'alone', 'scare', 'methanks', 'gave', 'nice', 'day']
323
['getting', 'harder', 'answer', 'late', 'night', 'question', 'basically', 'used', 'thing', 'wa', 'waiting', 'even', 'thing', 'like', 'movie', 'wanted', 'see', 'cant', 'think', 'running', 'answer']
21
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24
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101
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131
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336
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32
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24
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78
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68
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97
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261
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118
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96
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109
['unemployed', 'cant', 'stop', 'fantasizing', 'attempt', 'battling', 'serious', 'depression', 'year', 'getting', 'help', 'fluoxetine', 'well', 'cannabis', 'self', 'harm', 'currently', 'month', 'cleanim', 'sitting', 'apartment', 'parent', 'pay', 'long', 'time', 'friend', 'getting', 'stoned', 'watching', 'tv', 'think', 'cutting', 'killing', 'even', 'saw', 'counsellor', 'today', 'parent', 'pay', 'sigh', 'never', 'abke', 'function', 'frequently', 'fantasize', 'attempting', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'desperately', 'want', 'immediate', 'help', 'want', 'stop', 'suffering', 'ontario', 'canada', 'mental', 'health', 'support', 'terribleive', 'failed', 'drop', 'university', 'lost', 'free', 'counselling', 'prescription', 'coverage', 'transit', 'passim', 'currently', 'trying', 'fill', 'job', 'application', 'get', 'resume', 'supposed', 'workive', 'hospitalized', 'wa', 'fucking', 'horrible', 'hour', 'wait', 'time', 'emergency', 'hour', 'hold', 'go', 'cannabis', 'withdrawal', 'theyll', 'shove', 'full', 'fucking', 'benzosmy', 'counsellor', 'want', 'toss', 'blade', 'eat', 'obviously', 'neither', 'happened', 'yetmy', 'friend', 'family', 'supportive', 'yeti', 'still', 'uselessi', 'tired', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'worth', 'everi', 'amonly', 'alive', 'stop', 'others', 'suffering']
128
['end', 'since', 'almost', 'ive', 'wanted', 'kill', 'self', 'many', 'time', 'ive', 'stopped', 'counting', 'always', 'feel', 'something', 'wrong', 'strong', 'anxiety', 'attack', 'start', 'think', 'committing', 'suicide', 'start', 'look', 'best', 'way', 'calming', 'pill', 'start', 'work', 'cry', 'sleep', 'next', 'day', 'want', 'visit', 'doctor', 'tell', 'need', 'help', 'sometimes', 'sometimes', 'dont', 'sends', 'see', 'psychiatrist', 'another', 'psychiatrist', 'prescribe', 'pill', 'help', 'sleep', 'never', 'solve', 'obsessive', 'thought', 'committing', 'suicide', 'live', 'normally', 'day', 'week', 'ifi', 'amlucky', 'even', 'monthsand', 'back', 'always', 'come', 'back', 'right', 'frequency', 'attack', 'increasing', 'month', 'ago', 'moved', 'live', 'alone', 'dont', 'really', 'handle', 'well', 'try', 'overcome', 'breakup', 'ha', 'happened', 'almost', 'month', 'ago', 'year', 'together', 'still', 'love', 'new', 'job', 'stressful', 'high', 'school', 'teacher', 'havent', 'still', 'finished', 'uni', 'programme', 'time', 'fly', 'fast', 'without', 'anything', 'productive', 'nowi', 'amsitting', 'writing', 'stuff', 'dont', 'browse', 'suicide', 'advice', 'website', 'amasking', 'hell', 'wrong', 'mei', 'amyoung', 'attractive', 'intelligent', 'kind', 'person', 'ha', 'whole', 'future', 'ahead', 'amjust', 'unable', 'appreciate', 'something', 'wrong', 'inside', 'head', 'people', 'around', 'would', 'never', 'expect', 'come', 'confident', 'popular', 'extrovert', 'make', 'even', 'difficult', 'actually', 'speak', 'anyone', 'life', 'parent', 'know', 'much', 'contact', 'friend', 'life', 'problem', 'vicious', 'circle', 'ever', 'end', 'happyend', 'another', 'worthless', 'person', 'wish', 'nothing', 'else', 'go', 'sleep', 'never', 'wakeup', 'one', 'day', 'going', 'happen', 'hopefully', 'done', 'hand', 'fategodwhatever', 'hand', 'odds', 'right', 'latter', 'though']
193
['amdefectivei', 'amstaring', 'preferred', 'method', 'right', 'cant', 'even', 'begin', 'describe', 'amount', 'shit', 'backthree', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'later', 'make', 'fourth', 'one', 'amusing', 'throwaway', 'post', 'becausei', 'amscared', 'potentially', 'surviving', 'oneback', 'december', 'terrible', 'injury', 'falling', 'body', 'full', 'weight', 'kg', 'follow', 'three', 'nasty', 'concussion', 'falling', 'stair', 'getting', 'kicked', 'head', 'shot', 'nervous', 'system', 'chronic', 'pain', 'fucked', 'spine', 'limb', 'weakness', 'tingling', 'total', 'loss', 'function', 'arm', 'leg', 'cant', 'go', 'anywhere', 'alone', 'fear', 'lose', 'control', 'leg', 'middle', 'crosswalk', 'something', 'massive', 'fucking', 'medical', 'bill', 'amdirt', 'poorim', 'minor', 'willegal', 'jobi', 'amholding', 'small', 'accounting', 'company', 'help', 'parent', 'pay', 'dorm', 'medical', 'bill', 'regular', 'life', 'expense', 'recently', 'glass', 'stolen', 'thats', 'another', 'large', 'sum', 'money', 'visual', 'impairment', 'deal', 'save', 'new', 'pair', 'yr', 'terrifying', 'skin', 'picking', 'issue', 'left', 'looking', 'like', 'meth', 'addict', 'mother', 'small', 'child', 'public', 'place', 'often', 'like', 'tell', 'cant', 'eat', 'anymore', 'havent', 'able', 'sleep', 'properly', 'since', 'wa', 'infant', 'nowi', 'ambreaking', 'exhaustion', 'feel', 'like', 'liability', 'everyone', 'friend', 'family', 'member', 'girlfriend', 'daughter', 'cant', 'tell', 'mom', 'everything', 'cant', 'tell', 'friend', 'cant', 'tell', 'girlfriend', 'secret', 'keep', 'get', 'leaked', 'publici', 'going', 'facing', 'certain', 'homelessness', 'discrimination', 'teacher', 'like', 'kid', 'like', 'high', 'school', 'get', 'firedi', 'already', 'dragging', 'massive', 'blanket', 'trauma', 'back', 'dont', 'want', 'morei', 'amdone', 'body', 'isnt', 'planning', 'killing', 'somehow', 'fucking', 'selfi', 'cant', 'even', 'reach', 'therapist', 'tried', 'three', 'two', 'didnt', 'take', 'seriously', 'started', 'mentioning', 'skin', 'legit', 'issue', 'mentally', 'one', 'told', 'mei', 'ama', 'typical', 'whiny', 'child', 'grow', 'learn', 'live', 'make', 'big', 'deal', 'disabled', 'wayive', 'actively', 'suicidal', 'year', 'nowi', 'amsick', 'lying', 'thati', 'amokay', 'everyone', 'know', 'ensure', 'least', 'modicum', 'normal', 'life', 'abused', 'peer', 'body', 'brain', 'myselfim', 'fucking', 'done', 'hell', 'maybe', 'take', 'everyones', 'fucking', 'back', 'least', 'parent', 'wont', 'spend', 'much', 'money', 'defective', 'useless', 'child', 'doesnt', 'make', 'good', 'grade', 'used', 'make', 'cant', 'even', 'healthy', 'happy', 'like', 'literally', 'others', 'cheer', 'everyonei', 'amdone']
274
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192
['double', 'suicide', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'amsupposed', 'say', 'honestly', 'friend', 'planning', 'double', 'suicide', 'within', 'next', 'month']
15
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89
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238
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63
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41
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39
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46
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67
['resource', 'suck', 'every', 'single', 'resource', 'even', 'say', 'online', 'chat', 'cal', 'requires', 'pick', 'phoneim', 'never', 'going', 'dont', 'even', 'anything', 'lifei', 'want', 'help', 'ashamed', 'get', 'real', 'real', 'life', 'know', 'shouldnt', 'sitting', 'toilet', 'middle', 'night', 'thinking', 'much', 'better', 'spouse', 'would', 'without', 'happens', 'night', 'cant', 'call', 'wont', 'call', 'try', 'keep', 'together', 'pretend', 'make', 'progress', 'goal', 'master', 'every', 'day', 'reality', 'miserable', 'unhappy', 'dont', 'much', 'energy', 'left', 'deserves', 'much', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'much', 'argument']
67
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13
['really', 'need', 'someone', 'care', 'tell', 'much', 'matter', 'right', 'well', 'care']
10
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99
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87
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72
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30
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233
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138
['want', 'die', 'friend', 'fake', 'nobody', 'care', 'ive', 'lost', 'thing', 'make', 'happydrugs', 'feel', 'worthless', 'ever', 'want', 'cut', 'arm', 'lie', 'bathtub', 'die']
20
['fucked', 'foster', 'kid', 'didnt', 'really', 'know', 'title', 'start', 'guess', 'start', 'past', 'understand', 'whyi', 'fucked', 'dont', 'know', 'birth', 'father', 'step', 'father', 'married', 'mother', 'drug', 'addict', 'used', 'beat', 'neglect', 'stayed', 'wa', 'played', 'foster', 'care', 'step', 'father', 'jail', 'mother', 'rehabi', 'amcurrently', 'year', 'old', 'female', 'living', 'foster', 'family', 'mom', 'parental', 'right', 'terminated', 'essentially', 'property', 'state', 'whole', 'issue', 'ha', 'lead', 'chronic', 'depression', 'throughout', 'life', 'day', 'want', 'die', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'born', 'spend', 'time', 'computer', 'wasting', 'would', 'probably', 'best', 'year', 'life', 'play', 'pretty', 'small', 'mmo', 'like', 'active', 'people', 'people', 'like', 'made', 'friend', 'relationship', 'nothing', 'seems', 'enough', 'real', 'life', 'made', 'fun', 'poor', 'foster', 'parent', 'optimize', 'profit', 'buying', 'clothes', 'good', 'maximum', 'amount', 'child', 'house', 'state', 'one', 'would', 'really', 'call', 'friend', 'people', 'nice', 'thats', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'enough', 'thati', 'amalways', 'lonely', 'feel', 'unloved', 'unwanted', 'tolerated', 'never', 'keep', 'friend', 'friend', 'group', 'something', 'happens', 'usually', 'small', 'hurt', 'feeling', 'like', 'getting', 'invited', 'something', 'told', 'information', 'get', 'mad', 'upset', 'stuff', 'happens', 'fairly', 'often', 'think', 'damage', 'connection', 'people', 'online', 'brings', 'question', 'never', 'get', 'people', 'answer', 'offended', 'hurt', 'something', 'small', 'dont', 'see', 'experience', 'year', 'friend', 'group', 'fault', 'fault', 'like', 'fucked', 'mentally', 'feel', 'bad', 'feeling', 'way', 'likei', 'ambroken', 'someway', 'feel', 'different', 'people', 'abandonment', 'trust', 'issue', 'need', 'clingy', 'someone', 'survive', 'lead', 'date', 'people', 'online', 'usually', 'older', 'people', 'oldest', 'wa', 'yo', 'wa', 'dont', 'know', 'friend', 'ask', 'stuff', 'seems', 'like', 'attempt', 'attention', 'like', 'would', 'think', 'wow', 'want', 'kill', 'didnt', 'invite', 'say', 'aint', 'real', 'friend', 'think', 'thinking', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'cant', 'stop', 'feeling', 'way', 'cant', 'stop', 'clinging', 'random', 'person', 'end', 'dick', 'hurting', 'cant', 'stop', 'losing', 'friend', 'went', 'wood', 'earlier', 'look', 'tree', 'hang', 'guess', 'guy', 'writing', 'therapy', 'tool', 'people', 'try', 'helpedit', 'issue', 'probably', 'trying', 'find', 'someone', 'love', 'like', 'parent']
267
['amworried', 'friend', 'well', 'ha', 'seriously', 'thought', 'killing', 'past', 'recently', 'losing', 'seems', 'like', 'lot', 'weight', 'dont', 'know', 'supportive', 'well', 'dont', 'know', 'say', 'brings', 'feel', 'like', 'whatever', 'say', 'make', 'thing', 'worsehow', 'help', 'someone', 'going', 'issue']
33
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168
['smoke', 'last', 'bit', 'weedi', 'amdone', 'goodbye', 'reddit']
7
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284
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136
['road', 'recovery', 'winding', 'really', 'point', 'trying', 'anymore', 'make', 'twist', 'turnsi', 'cant', 'stop', 'cry', 'cant', 'eat', 'cant', 'sleep', 'dammit', 'cant', 'even', 'smoke', 'cigs', 'constantly', 'feel', 'like', 'throwing', 'dont', 'anyone', 'talk', 'working', 'fucking', 'hard', 'month', 'month', 'month', 'month', 'ha', 'felt', 'like', 'waste', 'time', 'longi', 'amgetting', 'tired', 'ive', 'self', 'sabotaging', 'reckless', 'thats', 'made', 'worsewhat', 'fucking', 'point', 'man']
54
['fucking', 'point', 'fucking', 'pointto', 'happy', 'doesnt', 'last', 'pain', 'default', 'always', 'come', 'backive', 'tried', 'year', 'ive', 'tried', 'pushed', 'one', 'pill', 'next', 'numb', 'enough', 'enjoy', 'rat', 'racegutted', 'front', 'every', 'therapist', 'feign', 'empathy', 'taking', 'crumpled', 'bill', 'since', 'never', 'accept', 'insurancemy', 'clothes', 'made', 'sweatshop', 'food', 'wa', 'tortured', 'horrifically', 'lawmaker', 'corrupt', 'soldier', 'work', 'profit', 'love', 'willusion', 'money', 'fake', 'everything', 'scam', 'everyone', 'lie', 'everyone', 'steal', 'everyone', 'hurt', 'one', 'innocent', 'keep', 'going', 'going', 'goingwere', 'dumb', 'pack', 'animal', 'cling', 'routine', 'jump', 'one', 'cycle', 'next', 'keep', 'busy', 'blindso', 'continue', 'whats', 'point', 'get', 'better', 'would', 'anyone', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'crooked', 'world']
91
['injection', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'back', 'made', 'cocktail', 'medicine', 'injected', 'arm', 'work', 'got', 'better', 'temporarily', 'need', 'go', 'way', 'make', 'work', 'time']
19
['easiest', 'way', 'kill', 'easiest', 'way', 'yo', 'kill', 'without', 'much', 'pain']
10
['end', 'birthday', 'dont', 'motivation', 'livei', 'amself', 'confident', 'lot', 'friendsi', 'amintelligent', 'ugly', 'cant', 'anymore', 'life', 'goal', 'tiny', 'compared', 'whole', 'galaxy', 'life', 'boring', 'without', 'weed', 'alcohol', 'kill', 'absolutely', 'patience', 'motivation', 'still', 'around', 'year', 'whats', 'difference', 'world', 'kill', 'quick', 'afterwards', 'cant', 'even', 'care', 'people', 'still', 'world', 'alsoi', 'amjust', 'really', 'curious', 'happens', 'life', 'become', 'nothing', 'okay', 'wont', 'even', 'realize', 'kind', 'afterlife', 'wont', 'bad', 'boring', 'world', 'guessi', 'amjust', 'egoistic', 'arrogant', 'lazy', 'depressed', 'asshole', 'really', 'curious']
70
['hard', 'open', 'people', 'want', 'open', 'someone', 'friend', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'want', 'inconvenience', 'want', 'think', 'differently', 'want', 'constantly', 'asking', 'okay']
18
['feel', 'like', 'want', 'die', 'wa', 'born', 'third', 'world', 'country', 'wa', 'also', 'secondary', 'class', 'citizen', 'life', 'always', 'cry', 'point', 'thati', 'emotional', 'considered', 'man', 'immigrated', 'america', 'turned', 'far', 'ive', 'trying', 'build', 'social', 'life', 'never', 'dont', 'many', 'friend', 'never', 'relationship', 'girl', 'causei', 'attractive', 'physically', 'mentally', 'feel', 'like', 'everything', 'endured', 'wa', 'pointless', 'meaning', 'always', 'wish', 'get', 'cancer', 'die', 'accident', 'shooting']
56
['doi', 'whole', 'life', 'felt', 'like', 'worthless', 'recently', 'started', 'talking', 'everyone', 'thinksi', 'ama', 'fucking', 'idiot', 'parent', 'tell', 'tried', 'everything', 'always', 'ask', 'feel', 'way', 'thinki', 'idiot', 'ive', 'several', 'psychologist', 'tell', 'depends', 'choose', 'feel', 'since', 'wa', 'ive', 'several', 'failed', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'everyday', 'think', 'thats', 'best', 'choice', 'ive', 'pushed', 'everyone', 'life', 'girlfriend', 'friend', 'social', 'life', 'every', 'single', 'one', 'people', 'loved', 'left', 'pushed', 'life', 'last', 'year', 'high', 'school', 'fucking', 'hate', 'even', 'sure', 'ifi', 'amable', 'finish', 'literally', 'one', 'talk', 'every', 'year', 'every', 'month', 'every', 'week', 'every', 'day', 'feel', 'emptier', 'shittier', 'think', 'last', 'year', 'amlike', 'fuck', 'wa', 'much', 'better', 'back', 'wa', 'thinking', 'year', 'wa', 'life', 'fuck', 'wa', 'much', 'better', 'like', 'saidi', 'holy', 'fuck', 'thinking', 'life', 'least', 'yet', 'another', 'year', 'scare', 'living', 'fuck', 'dont', 'know', 'today', 'gave', 'month', 'nothing', 'change', 'thats', 'iti', 'gonna', 'fucking', 'fail', 'time', 'every', 'time', 'someone', 'tell', 'oh', 'head', 'everything', 'depends', 'choose', 'feel', 'think', 'guy', 'knew', 'killed', 'year', 'ago', 'yep', 'definitely', 'chose', 'know', 'like', 'choose', 'feel', 'emptier', 'year', 'good', 'reasonsorry', 'long', 'rant']
157
['wa', 'going', 'kill', 'loneliness', 'several', 'account', 'ive', 'posted', 'suicidewatch', 'several', 'time', 'life', 'earlier', 'month', 'wa', 'destined', 'end', 'life', 'loneliness', 'depression', 'killing', 'fast', 'thought', 'worthless', 'destined', 'fail', 'wa', 'counting', 'daysbut', 'found', 'someonei', 'met', 'ha', 'similar', 'issue', 'realized', 'similar', 'relatable', 'love', 'nothing', 'change', 'thati', 'proud', 'sayi', 'amalive', 'finally', 'thank', 'motivating', 'live', 'stay', 'optimistic']
51
['cutting', 'past', 'year', 'ive', 'depressed', 'irge', 'cut', 'maybe', 'anything', 'make', 'feel', 'something', 'urge', 'cutting', 'come', 'wheni', 'really', 'really', 'point', 'wanting', 'diei', 'religious', 'still', 'scared', 'commiting', 'greatest', 'sin', 'ending', 'one', 'life', 'really', 'wanting', 'scar', 'body', 'even', 'consider', 'cutting', 'place', 'people', 'wont', 'see', 'thought', 'someone', 'see', 'maybe', 'dont', 'want', 'give', 'evidencesi', 'amjust', 'afraid', 'fear', 'commiting', 'greatest', 'sin', 'scar', 'would', 'longer', 'stop', 'killing', 'know', 'parent', 'love', 'theyre', 'kind', 'toxic', 'call', 'crazy', 'sometimes', 'even', 'ifi', 'amhaving', 'good', 'day', 'always', 'perfect', 'timing', 'bec', 'day', 'end', 'would', 'ruin', 'type', 'share', 'feel']
85
['giving', 'thing', 'last', 'chance', 'fails', 'cant', 'handle', 'face', 'everyday', 'meet', 'hell', 'thats', 'life', 'ready', 'give', 'despite', 'everything', 'yet', 'fail', 'receive', 'support', 'dont', 'know', 'go', 'cant', 'handle', 'awful', 'weight', 'trauma', 'shoulder']
30
['advice', 'hey', 'soi', 'going', 'terrible', 'timei', 'ama', 'manic', 'depressive', 'girlfriend', 'broke', 'recently', 'feel', 'soulmate', 'cheated', 'past', 'wa', 'unmedicatedi', 'using', 'mental', 'health', 'excuse', 'terrible', 'behaviour', 'would', 'anything', 'change', 'say', 'need', 'break', 'cheated', 'friend', 'totally', 'understand', 'wish', 'well', 'say', 'optimistic', 'make', 'work', 'shes', 'found', 'still', 'friend', 'miss', 'much', 'literally', 'waiting', 'come', 'back', 'idea', 'happen', 'doesnt', 'fucking', 'hurt', 'much', 'imagine', 'hand', 'whilst', 'forgive', 'never', 'felt', 'worse', 'bought', 'never', 'bad', 'someone', 'help', 'please']
69
['wa', 'younger', 'id', 'listen', 'music', 'dark', 'think', 'future', 'today', 'reminds', 'good', 'life', 'wa', 'back', 'gazed', 'star', 'darkness', 'taken', 'step', 'towards', 'future']
21
['feel', 'lonely', 'every', 'day', 'actively', 'try', 'close', 'keep', 'away', 'people', 'causei', 'amdepressed', 'understand', 'people', 'arent', 'reaching', 'wouldnt', 'talk', 'someone', 'elsei', 'amvery', 'cold', 'dont', 'speak', 'much', 'didnt', 'either', 'didnt', 'try', 'push', 'away', 'people', 'dissregarding', 'way', 'like', 'basic', 'reluctance', 'sort', 'talk', 'themi', 'dont', 'know']
42
['going', 'march', 'almost', 'successfully', 'killed', 'grim', 'feeling', 'felt', 'body', 'wa', 'shutting', 'wa', 'like', 'relief', 'compared', 'id', 'feeling', 'prior', 'want', 'everything', 'end', 'ive', 'tried', 'hard', 'express', 'mental', 'health', 'service', 'thati', 'ama', 'liability', 'yeti', 'still', 'forced', 'wait', 'cant', 'wait', 'think', 'need', 'year', 'ha', 'beyond', 'cruel', 'lost', 'friend', 'longtime', 'partner', 'accused', 'accusation', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'mention', 'demonized', 'beyond', 'reconciliation', 'much', 'tried', 'hard', 'pushed', 'month', 'hope', 'thing', 'would', 'improve', 'didnt', 'ive', 'never', 'alone', 'show', 'truly', 'place', 'doesnt', 'stop', 'one', 'thing', 'another', 'break', 'want', 'sleep', 'forever', 'life', 'going', 'effort', 'wasted', 'lack', 'ability', 'form', 'strong', 'bond', 'peopleim', 'going', 'die', 'alone', 'fucking', 'pathetic', 'nonsensical', 'rambling', 'need', 'get', 'either', 'subconsciousness', 'trying', 'seek', 'help', 'leave', 'something', 'behind', 'dont', 'know', 'sorry', 'mess', 'posti', 'well']
114
['want', 'die', 'want', 'die', 'fat', 'life', 'suck', 'depressed', 'want', 'suicide', 'norway', 'easy', 'get', 'gun', 'want', 'die', 'painless']
17
['honestly', 'never', 'understand', 'everyone', 'keep', 'telling', 'suicide', 'isnt', 'answer', 'somewhere', 'internet', 'year', 'ago', 'read', 'probability', 'coming', 'existence', 'trillioni', 'amthe', 'result', 'thousand', 'people', 'sex', 'right', 'person', 'right', 'time', 'come', 'existence', 'one', 'small', 'detail', 'year', 'ago', 'couldve', 'made', 'existence', 'impossible', 'know', 'life', 'miracle', 'cant', 'help', 'think', 'suicide', 'ive', 'suffering', 'chronic', 'depression', 'forever', 'life', 'ocean', 'sadness', 'always', 'tried', 'keep', 'positive', 'one', 'day', 'wa', 'raining', 'wa', 'looking', 'window', 'boyfriend', 'stayed', 'home', 'took', 'day', 'work', 'wa', 'thinking', 'lonely', 'sad', 'unfulfilled', 'hopeless', 'wa', 'feeling', 'despite', 'loved', 'despite', 'perfect', 'family', 'really', 'goodlooking', 'guy', 'loved', 'good', 'friend', 'still', 'felt', 'unfulfilled', 'empty', 'broke', 'wa', 'moment', 'gave', 'optimism', 'moment', 'became', 'hard', 'around', 'relationship', 'ended', 'still', 'friend', 'aware', 'condition', 'respect', 'fact', 'thati', 'always', 'right', 'mood', 'try', 'fun', 'go', 'feel', 'lonely', 'hopeless', 'nothing', 'keep', 'happy', 'know', 'life', 'miracle', 'yes', 'sometimes', 'one', 'run', 'resource', 'coping', 'pain', 'think', 'life', 'like', 'business', 'case', 'resource', 'keep', 'going', 'give', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'yesterday', 'spent', 'saturday', 'night', 'home', 'looked', 'window', 'didnt', 'jump', 'didnt', 'feel', 'ready', 'thought', 'didnt', 'really', 'scare', 'wa', 'actually', 'comforting', 'think', 'three', 'month', 'date', 'wont', 'regret', 'shutting', 'business']
173
['lonely', 'physically', 'hurt', 'doi', 'want', 'pain', 'stop']
7
['someone', 'help', 'kill', 'carbon', 'monoxide', 'ive', 'done', 'research', 'concluded', 'carbon', 'monoxide', 'seems', 'least', 'painful', 'method', 'suicide', 'done', 'correctly', 'need', 'help', 'setting', 'everything', 'right', 'spec', 'etc', 'ensure', 'peaceful', 'death', 'already', 'know', 'co', 'ha', 'pure', 'possible', 'avoid', 'feeling', 'suffocation', 'need', 'know', 'thing', 'like', 'ppm', 'carbon', 'monoxide', 'get', 'size', 'cylinder', 'many', 'litre', 'necessary', 'spec', 'roomi', 'medium', 'sized', 'garage', 'anything', 'else', 'think', 'would', 'ensure', 'death', 'painless', 'certain', 'thank', 'advance']
65
['mind', 'deteriorating', 'body', 'feel', 'numb', 'occasionally', 'thought', 'pop', 'dont', 'go', 'away', 'hour', 'time', 'unsure', 'anymore', 'long', 'cant', 'track', 'feel', 'sad', 'whenever', 'seek', 'help', 'whatever', 'left', 'friend', 'assumei', 'amjoking', 'messing', 'sayi', 'amfucked', 'spread', 'rumor', 'thati', 'attention', 'seeking', 'sociopath', 'scared', 'talking', 'people', 'know', 'personallyim', 'scared', 'calltext', 'professional', 'help', 'becausei', 'amafraid', 'police', 'come', 'location', 'parent', 'would', 'know', 'ready', 'thati', 'bad', 'relationship', 'never', 'talk', 'serious', 'thing', 'never', 'ask', 'year', 'like', 'thatwhat']
67
['alone', 'ugly', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'last', 'year', 'teeth', 'crooked', 'glass', 'face', 'somewhat', 'disproportionate', 'friend', 'make', 'joke', 'appearance', 'time', 'havent', 'girlfriend', 'since', 'even', 'wa', 'embarrassed', 'much', 'broke', 'telling', 'one', 'friend', 'inform', 'fact', 'didnt', 'want', 'seen', 'meat', 'point', 'dont', 'know', 'since', 'time', 'ive', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'never', 'much', 'nowi', 'amthe', 'one', 'friend', 'virgin', 'seems', 'like', 'every', 'girl', 'meet', 'instantly', 'judge', 'based', 'appearance', 'dont', 'even', 'blame', 'pretty', 'ugly', 'say', 'love', 'seems', 'like', 'nobody', 'else', 'like', 'ami', 'ama', 'musician', 'friend', 'hate', 'music', 'voice', 'doesnt', 'exactly', 'help', 'self', 'esteem', 'muchi', 'amalso', 'unemployed', 'every', 'job', 'interview', 'ive', 'gone', 'interviewer', 'act', 'like', 'arent', 'going', 'hire', 'dont', 'look', 'good', 'cant', 'even', 'get', 'college', 'course', 'want', 'take', 'math', 'grade', 'low', 'stupid', 'dyscalculia', 'math', 'disorder', 'also', 'drink', 'use', 'drug', 'heavily', 'attempt', 'temporarily', 'remove', 'problem', 'seems', 'thing', 'influence', 'always', 'make', 'friend', 'hate', 'slightly', 'facti', 'amtyping', 'drunk', 'goddamn', 'mind', 'almost', 'momenthonestly', 'idea', 'point', 'ive', 'set', 'goal', 'ifi', 'still', 'virginalone', 'thati', 'amjust', 'going', 'kill', 'whats', 'point', 'living', 'parent', 'love', 'companionship', 'dont', 'even', 'hope', 'child', 'future', 'either', 'woman', 'would', 'want', 'child', 'grows', 'fucked', 'teeth', 'eye', 'certainly', 'dont', 'want', 'subject', 'another', 'human', 'mental', 'abuse', 'matter', 'accepting', 'world', 'becomes', 'future', 'fuck', 'supposed']
185
['feel', 'damn', 'lonely', 'dont', 'know', 'cry', 'typing', 'really', 'cant', 'take', 'feeling', 'anymore', 'may', 'well', 'give', 'end', 'pain']
17
['killing', 'tonight', 'update', 'cant', 'cuzi', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'bitch', 'turn', 'lot', 'harder', 'shoot', 'mouth', 'thought', 'human', 'survival', 'instinct', 'fucking', 'cruel']
19
['anyone', 'convince', 'world', 'isnt', 'cold', 'uncaring', 'place', 'life', 'actually', 'worth', 'living']
11
['last', 'chance', 'hope', 'cant', 'control', 'emotion', 'know', 'nobody', 'understands', 'feel', 'nobody', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'isnt', 'really', 'anything', 'stopping', 'overdosing', 'right', 'make', 'stop']
24
['nothing', 'lefti', 'ama', 'user', 'piece', 'shit', 'woke', 'morning', 'best', 'friend', 'ive', 'ever', 'pointing', 'waysi', 'ama', 'fake', 'piece', 'shit', 'thati', 'amself', 'centered', 'pretend', 'care', 'others', 'personal', 'gain', 'shes', 'right', 'ive', 'denied', 'every', 'time', 'ive', 'told', 'thing', 'explanation', 'made', 'realize', 'stop', 'lying', 'one', 'anymore', 'maybe', 'friend', 'go', 'anymore', 'family', 'shit', 'job', 'overwork', 'probably', 'fired', 'soon', 'depression', 'make', 'slow', 'fuck', 'ive', 'home', 'since', 'wa', 'high', 'school', 'dropout', 'addict', 'see', 'way', 'life', 'getting', 'better', 'anytime', 'soon', 'entire', 'life', 'ha', 'gotten', 'worse', 'older', 'get', 'first', 'time', 'tried', 'killing', 'wa', 'fucking', 'year', 'old', 'cant', 'even', 'count', 'many', 'time', 'ive', 'tried', 'anymore', 'work', 'sleep', 'think', 'quickest', 'way', 'go']
101
['point', 'living', 'anymorei', 'still', 'high', 'school', 'friend', 'girlfriend', 'nobody', 'talk', 'school', 'tried', 'crisis', 'text', 'line', 'time', 'theyre', 'worthless', 'pile', 'shit', 'nobody', 'give', 'shit', 'continue', 'living', 'dont', 'give', 'fuck', 'family', 'think', 'mei', 'amstarting', 'think', 'wont', 'matter', 'family', 'think', 'dead', 'wont', 'worry', 'anymore', 'handle', 'without', 'anyway', 'want', 'kill', 'finally', 'known']
48
['ive', 'never', 'depressed', 'life', 'depression', 'totally', 'untreatable', 'wish', 'lived', 'belgium', 'assisted', 'suicide', 'untreatable', 'mental', 'willness', 'thing', 'cant', 'take', 'anymorei', 'amending', 'saturday', 'ive', 'made', 'final', 'decision', 'exactly', 'peace', 'sick', 'tired', 'suffering', 'cry', 'told', 'burden', 'family', 'friend', 'miserable', 'around', 'told', 'religious', 'people', 'reasoni', 'still', 'depressed', 'despite', 'prayed', 'prayed', 'wa', 'younger', 'god', 'punishing', 'something', 'devoted', 'enough', 'fuck', 'thati', 'done', 'goddamn', 'loser', 'burden', 'society', 'world', 'sure', 'better', 'place', 'without', 'year', 'therapy', 'countless', 'med', 'youd', 'think', 'something', 'would', 'helped', 'last', 'relationship', 'disintegrated', 'partly', 'due', 'mental', 'willness', 'partly', 'becausei', 'amugly', 'fucking', 'boringi', 'amsuch', 'waste', 'space', 'ive', 'broken', 'point', 'return']
93
['couldnt', 'life', 'shit', 'since', 'long', 'time', 'grown', 'frustrated', 'past', 'week', 'sometimes', 'hurt', 'slap', 'hit', 'angry', 'everything', 'seems', 'fault', 'family', 'totally', 'unsupportive', 'dont', 'want', 'tell', 'mainly', 'cuz', 'theyre', 'reason', 'behind', 'wanted', 'kill', 'today', 'couldnt', 'knife', 'hand', 'couldnt', 'image', 'best', 'friend', 'popped', 'front', 'dont', 'wanna', 'see', 'sad', 'couldnt']
46
['amobsessed', 'finding', 'kill', 'since', 'last', 'time', 'tried', 'felt', 'really', 'calming', 'thinking', 'might', 'die', 'want', 'feel', 'break', 'mindset', 'kudos', 'already', 'wanting', 'break', 'mindset', 'take', 'something', 'seeing', 'psychologistother', 'want', 'talk', 'happened', 'bring']
30
['whats', 'point', 'living', 'youre', 'suffering', 'ive', 'never', 'felt', 'happy', 'entire', 'lifemy', 'existence', 'ha', 'mix', 'loneliness', 'painwhy', 'go', 'onfor', 'hypothetical', 'chance', 'get', 'better', 'one', 'dayi', 'already', 'feel', 'thati', 'old', 'anythingive', 'missed', 'many', 'thingsi', 'cant', 'go', 'back', 'timefuck', 'life', 'fuck', 'universe']
39
['suicidal', 'teen', 'heyi', 'amhaving', 'strong', 'suicidal', 'thoughtsi', 'amdepressed', 'social', 'anxiety', 'emotionally', 'abused', 'want', 'die', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'reason', 'continue', 'someone', 'please', 'give', 'reason', 'overdosei', 'tired', 'fighting']
26
['dont', 'deserve', 'painless', 'suicide', 'deserve', 'hurt', 'title', 'pretty', 'much', 'sum', 'upi', 'ama', 'disgusting', 'coward', 'whose', 'whole', 'life', 'ha', 'centered', 'around', 'avoiding', 'pain', 'conflict', 'always', 'play', 'thing', 'safe', 'becausei', 'amterrified', 'risk', 'takingi', 'never', 'invite', 'people', 'try', 'build', 'friendship', 'acquaintance', 'becausei', 'amafraid', 'shot', 'never', 'go', 'social', 'medium', 'cant', 'handle', 'pain', 'seeing', 'others', 'dynamic', 'social', 'life', 'dont', 'exercise', 'enough', 'much', 'hurt', 'bottom', 'line', 'isi', 'ama', 'fucking', 'spineless', 'pussy', 'never', 'get', 'body', 'social', 'skill', 'want', 'nothing', 'offer', 'world', 'ive', 'run', 'away', 'long', 'think', 'kill', 'brutal', 'way', 'possible', 'make', 'sure', 'experience', 'pain', 'wa', 'weak', 'handle', 'life', 'sheltered', 'upbringing', 'abuse', 'traumatic', 'experience', 'parent', 'pay', 'piss', 'away', 'time', 'college', 'dont', 'even', 'financial', 'stress', 'laughably', 'easy', 'life', 'yeti', 'still', 'overwhelmed', 'miserable', 'realistically', 'died', 'long', 'agoi', 'year', 'old', 'adult', 'child', 'think', 'late', 'fundamentally', 'change', 'brave', 'person', 'go', 'want', 'fled', 'pain', 'entire', 'childhood', 'want', 'experience', 'true', 'pain', 'least', 'die', 'idea', 'super', 'painful', 'method', 'would', 'appreciated', 'thanks']
146
['er', 'tried', 'od', 'die']
4
['amlonely', 'feel', 'pretty', 'lonely', 'cant', 'find', 'friend', 'get', 'along', 'relate', 'make', 'hate', 'want', 'fucking', 'die', 'hard', 'find', 'someone', 'trust', 'someone', 'isnt', 'annoying', 'nut', 'everyone', 'also', 'love', 'talking', 'shit', 'partially', 'want', 'keep', 'pushing', 'also', 'want', 'take', 'easy', 'way', 'die', 'advice', 'could', 'help']
41
['dont', 'want', 'suicidal', 'part', 'write', 'may', 'seem', 'farfetched', 'real', 'crippling', 'issue', 'meim', 'college', 'ive', 'mediocre', 'unfulfilling', 'social', 'life', 'almost', 'since', 'elementary', 'recall', 'always', 'feeling', 'lonely', 'turn', 'caused', 'shy', 'around', 'anyone', 'didnt', 'know', 'would', 'stay', 'cooped', 'home', 'playing', 'video', 'game', 'high', 'school', 'couldnt', 'help', 'always', 'feel', 'shitty', 'lonely', 'small', 'group', 'friend', 'id', 'play', 'game', 'never', 'changed', 'feel', 'dont', 'know', 'even', 'properly', 'express', 'top', 'loneliness', 'found', 'drew', 'short', 'straw', 'belt', 'social', 'medium', 'joke', 'girl', 'ive', 'met', 'made', 'fun', 'people', 'built', 'hung', 'ha', 'taken', 'even', 'bigger', 'tole', 'hope', 'approaching', 'girl', 'immediately', 'try', 'get', 'mind', 'dont', 'want', 'know', 'happen', 'girl', 'met', 'emotionally', 'destroyed', 'something', 'control', 'top', 'cant', 'life', 'bring', 'enjoy', 'anything', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'grown', 'enjoy', 'anything', 'lazy', 'loser', 'go', 'gym', 'shape', 'thats', 'almost', 'temporary', 'relief', 'also', 'feeli', 'amat', 'age', 'way', 'almost', 'set', 'stone', 'soi', 'amdoomed', 'living', 'waste', 'doe', 'nothing', 'feel', 'like', 'people', 'much', 'valid', 'reason', 'want', 'suicidal', 'entertaining', 'idea', 'ive', 'already', 'thought', 'would', 'write', 'would', 'id', 'cannot', 'help', 'feel', 'lonely', 'time', 'killing', 'point']
160
['point', 'literally', 'life', 'pointless', 'thing', 'work', 'hour', 'day', 'day', 'week', 'amonly', 'year', 'old', 'mom', 'dad', 'family', 'yalk', 'fall', 'back', 'cityi', 'full', 'people', 'care', 'leaving', 'friend', 'passion', 'whenever', 'id', 'like', 'develop', 'interest', 'get', 'home', 'working', 'hour', 'pas', 'exhaustion', 'taught', 'life', 'fucking', 'pointless', 'get', 'work', 'whole', 'life', 'get', 'work', 'family', 'even', 'share', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'bring', 'child', 'disgusting', 'world', 'u', 'v', 'life', 'nothing', 'stress', 'stress', 'payment', 'payment', 'one', 'love', 'everyone', 'gone', 'every', 'one', 'else', 'busy', 'want', 'care', 'dont', 'even', 'care', 'never', 'eat', 'constantly', 'high', 'work', 'fuck', 'might', 'well', 'get', 'high', 'chance', 'get', 'whats', 'shitter', 'isi', 'amto', 'scared', 'pain', 'anything', 'cry', 'beg', 'die']
100
['killing', 'tonighti', 'amjust', 'bitching', 'sake', 'dont', 'expect', 'response', 'dont', 'anyone', 'talk', 'anymore', 'shit', 'build', 'inside', 'mei', 'guess', 'finally', 'come', 'ive', 'depressed', 'year', 'suicidal', 'damn', 'near', 'themi', 'guess', 'finally', 'giving', 'thought', 'completely', 'hate', 'every', 'way', 'seeing', 'mirror', 'constant', 'reminder', 'failure', 'person', 'thing', 'really', 'managed', 'life', 'getting', 'good', 'grade', 'good', 'school', 'ive', 'given', 'basically', 'everything', 'get', 'ive', 'lost', 'closest', 'friend', 'ive', 'lost', 'although', 'never', 'social', 'skill', 'dont', 'know', 'make', 'friend', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'hold', 'conversation', 'another', 'person', 'ive', 'never', 'girlfriend', 'either', 'matteri', 'amjust', 'fucking', 'loseri', 'good', 'anything', 'dont', 'good', 'relationshipsi', 'used', 'close', 'friend', 'met', 'long', 'started', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'open', 'feel', 'know', 'anyoneive', 'told', 'everything', 'shes', 'person', 'ive', 'ever', 'able', 'around', 'friendship', 'wa', 'greatest', 'thing', 'ever', 'really', 'happened', 'mei', 'never', 'put', 'word', 'much', 'meant', 'mebut', 'havent', 'talked', 'almost', 'year', 'amhurting', 'amdead', 'inside', 'havent', 'able', 'feel', 'like', 'myselfi', 'think', 'everyday', 'shes', 'already', 'moved', 'thingsive', 'lost', 'interest', 'major', 'selfesteem', 'confidence', 'really', 'go', 'talk', 'people', 'make', 'friend', 'get', 'girlfriend', 'shiti', 'amalone', 'without', 'direction', 'cute', 'girl', 'physic', 'class', 'met', 'last', 'semester', 'shame', 'thati', 'damn', 'boring', 'person', 'hold', 'conversation', 'completely', 'lack', 'selfconfidence', 'really', 'go', 'sense', 'ah', 'well', 'much', 'better', 'anywayssorry', 'long', 'trying', 'get', 'couple', 'thing', 'chestive', 'already', 'written', 'sent', 'goodbye', 'family', 'dont', 'anywhere', 'else', 'keep', 'spitting', 'whats', 'mind', 'hope', 'find', 'peace', 'tonight']
204
['stop', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'yo', 'heyim', 'last', 'year', 'got', 'depresse', 'hell', 'bad', 'grade', 'friend', 'lost', 'nothing', 'learned', 'videogames', 'addiction', 'wasted', 'timenothing', 'felt', 'alright', 'better', 'greati', 'wnat', 'km', 'dont', 'want', 'lose', 'parent', 'brother', 'get', 'happy', 'talking', 'seeing', 'feel', 'like', 'love', 'dont', 'want', 'see', 'would', 'get', 'diei', 'need', 'get', 'suicide', 'ideia', 'head', 'please', 'help']
51
['suicide', 'breakup', 'grief', 'broke', 'girlfriend', 'religion', 'long', 'distance', 'another', 'guy', 'feel', 'like', 'wanna', 'end', 'want', 'pain', 'pain', 'regret', 'guilt', 'pain', 'never', 'happy', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'continuing', 'want', 'end', 'ha', 'two', 'month', 'since', 'breakup', 'please', 'god', 'forgive']
36
['dumb', 'feel', 'like', 'disgrace', 'wa', 'drunk', 'last', 'night', 'sent', 'picture', 'guysim', 'young', 'screenshotted', 'picture', 'die', 'known', 'whore']
17
['living', 'hurt', 'cutting', 'doesnt', 'hurt', 'dying', 'doesnt', 'hurt', 'want', 'stop']
10
['feel', 'suicidal', 'depressed', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'almost', 'one', 'year', 'dont', 'think', 'depressed', 'want', 'die', 'still', 'good', 'sleep', 'good', 'appetite', 'everyday', 'however', 'dont', 'know', 'meaning', 'life', 'two', 'day', 'thought', 'get', 'even', 'stronger', 'search', 'different', 'way', 'commit', 'suicide', 'find', 'success', 'rate', 'cause', 'want', 'ensure', 'die', 'first', 'attempt', 'even', 'decide', 'place', 'time', 'thinking', 'still', 'live', 'normal', 'life', 'go', 'university', 'chatting', 'friend', 'playing', 'video', 'game', 'quite', 'happy', 'thesei', 'think', 'rational', 'thought', 'depressed', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'think', 'everyone', 'think', 'commit', 'suicide', 'hard', 'time', 'experiencing', 'hard', 'time', 'instead', 'quite', 'peaceful', 'life']
85
['please', 'let', 'die', 'date', 'last', 'night', 'talked', 'four', 'hour', 'every', 'guy', 'date', 'ghost', 'think', 'really', 'hate', 'outspoken', 'passionate', 'wish', 'could', 'normal', 'put', 'people', 'last', 'day', 'really', 'want', 'diei', 'worthless', 'one', 'ever', 'going', 'want', 'look', 'fading', 'uglyplease', 'let', 'die', 'want', 'never', 'wake', 'anymore', 'face', 'horrible', 'future']
45
['feel', 'trapped', 'half', 'week', 'university', 'already', 'losing', 'cant', 'focus', 'anything', 'dont', 'know', 'happened', 'mei', 'amsick', 'constantly', 'fucking', 'thing', 'upi', 'amsick', 'lonelyi', 'amon', 'last', 'razor', 'amout', 'bandaids', 'cleaning', 'wipe', 'amdebating', 'away', 'whole', 'sanitizing', 'thing', 'self', 'harm', 'want', 'die', 'avoid', 'failure', 'washing', 'going', 'back', 'small', 'town', 'working', 'shit', 'job', 'like', 'dad', 'want', 'fucking', 'kill', 'cant', 'see', 'sister', 'cry', 'funeral', 'amtrapped', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'dont', 'know', 'fuck', 'anymorei', 'amslippingi', 'new', 'city', 'like', 'friend', 'everyone', 'else', 'thinksi', 'annoying', 'cant', 'even', 'look', 'mirror', 'anymore', 'without', 'hating', 'cant', 'work', 'motivation', 'go', 'gym', 'eat', 'salad', 'therapy', 'hasnt', 'worked', 'dont', 'know', 'gonna', 'work', 'want', 'sweet', 'release', 'death', 'end', 'get', 'cant', 'feel', 'trapped', 'life', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'live', 'anymore']
110
['amworriedi', 'going', 'hurt', 'hope', 'okay', 'post', 'dont', 'normally', 'hang', 'around', 'part', 'reddit', 'googled', 'kind', 'subthings', 'going', 'well', 'usual', 'way', 'made', 'thing', 'much', 'worse', 'thing', 'said', 'wife', 'someone', 'else', 'eveningi', 'feel', 'gutwrenching', 'loneliness', 'hopelessness', 'despair', 'want', 'life', 'overthanks', 'reading']
38
['tick', 'tocki', 'amgetting', 'close', 'saying', 'chest', 'physically', 'hurt', 'people', 'around', 'believe', 'faulti', 'amlike', 'noti', 'done', 'really', 'really', 'want', 'die', 'doesnt', 'fix', 'anything', 'know', 'know', 'want', 'break', 'gone', 'day', 'school', 'work', 'relationshipi', 'ambroken', 'alone']
33
['edge', 'life', 'death', 'recently', 'boyfriend', 'broke', 'would', 'almost', 'year', 'expected', 'happened', 'though', 'seems', 'drop', 'make', 'go', 'crazy', 'right', 'zero', 'friend', 'social', 'skillsi', 'alcoholic', 'zero', 'passion', 'goal', 'life', 'really', 'depressing', 'ive', 'living', 'past', 'year', 'really', 'anything', 'proactive', 'drinking', 'coma', 'every', 'night', 'oh', 'moved', 'city', 'school', 'started', 'school', 'think', 'itll', 'much', 'wa', 'friend', 'person', 'talked', 'nowi', 'amentirely', 'lonely', 'new', 'city', 'dont', 'knowi', 'really', 'thinking', 'killing', 'hurt', 'much', 'tried', 'didnt', 'courage', 'think', 'pain', 'present', 'enough']
72
['help', 'cant', 'kill', 'causei', 'amafraid', 'pain', 'whats', 'easiest', 'way', 'take', 'suicide', 'without', 'getting', 'hurt']
14
['dont', 'know', 'offense', 'feelwhen', 'wa', 'kid', 'used', 'believe', 'older', 'mean', 'smarter', 'better', 'kid', 'older', 'course', 'right', 'everything', 'adult', 'saint', 'never', 'lie', 'know', 'everythingi', 'amdumb', 'say', 'guessi', 'amdumb', 'alrightbut', 'realized', 'lie', 'well', 'school', 'certainly', 'wa', 'useless', 'lie', 'teacher', 'munipalitive', 'piece', 'shit', 'care', 'paycheck', 'thought', 'best', 'actually', 'worstsomehow', 'finished', 'school', 'got', 'pushed', 'college', 'took', 'parttime', 'job', 'almost', 'died', 'numerous', 'time', 'thought', 'almost', 'died', 'near', 'graduation', 'head', 'got', 'completely', 'wild', 'seeked', 'helpanxiety', 'depression', 'possibly', 'cyclothymia', 'cant', 'really', 'unravel', 'ravel', 'know', 'certainly', 'never', 'attend', 'kind', 'normie', 'legal', 'job', 'cause', 'fuck', 'government', 'broke', 'go', 'military', 'hospitalization', 'cause', 'either', 'run', 'away', 'kill', 'everybody', 'draw', 'write', 'decently', 'maybe', 'patreon', 'way', 'go', 'fucking', 'idea', 'like', 'feel', 'thought', 'wa', 'straight', 'liked', 'delusion', 'straightness', 'thought', 'wa', 'cool', 'creative', 'person', 'hate', 'drawing', 'often', 'absolutely', 'love', 'rhyme', 'reason', 'dont', 'know', 'like', 'game', 'anime', 'even', 'hate', 'everything', 'want', 'die', 'hate', 'everything', 'want', 'kill', 'everything', 'want', 'kill', 'everything', 'love', 'want', 'free', 'suffering', 'argh', 'completely', 'lost']
151
['asking', 'help', 'wa', 'hardest', 'thing', 'ive', 'ever', 'done', 'psych', 'ward', 'question', 'basicallyi', 'amchronically', 'life', 'hasnt', 'gone', 'planned', 'med', 'arent', 'right', 'ive', 'tried', 'except', 'maoi', 'cannot', 'time', 'afford', 'ednos', 'ive', 'nervous', 'breakdown', 'past', 'two', 'week', 'today', 'shit', 'hit', 'fan', 'told', 'kill', 'social', 'medium', 'doesnt', 'bother', 'people', 'think', 'thats', 'asinine', 'tell', 'anybody', 'reinforced', 'problem', 'ive', 'afraid', 'address', 'talked', 'best', 'friend', 'ive', 'saved', 'life', 'love', 'much', 'platonic', 'way', 'painful', 'type', 'love', 'party', 'brother', 'another', 'mother', 'much', 'love', 'odd', 'think', 'becausei', 'sexually', 'attracted', 'anyway', 'topic', 'spoke', 'urged', 'seek', 'help', 'told', 'boyfriend', 'wa', 'desparately', 'afraid', 'tell', 'mondayi', 'amcalling', 'doctor', 'psych', 'ward', 'thing', 'go', 'okay', 'money', 'wisei', 'amglad', 'tasked', 'bff', 'bf', 'going', 'talk', 'dadi', 'love', 'alex', 'brother', 'best', 'friend', 'reasoni', 'amalive', 'today', 'asi', 'amthe', 'reason', 'youre', 'alive', 'todayi', 'amafraid', 'beyond', 'wildest', 'dream', 'go', 'take', 'extra', 'klonopin', 'needed', 'able', 'talki', 'really', 'unable', 'concentrate', 'suicidal', 'right', 'nowwhat', 'psych', 'ward', 'likeim', 'pasing', 'goodnught']
144
['see', 'good', 'future', 'lot', 'amstuck', 'family', 'cant', 'escapei', 'amgetting', 'older', 'older', 'running', 'prospect', 'chance', 'good', 'life', 'good', 'possible', 'outcome', 'would', 'die', 'heart', 'attack', 'reach', 'doubt', 'universe', 'would', 'give', 'mercy', 'like', 'want', 'end', 'become', 'monster', 'parent', 'id', 'rather', 'die', 'mental', 'willness', 'hormone', 'health', 'problem', 'addiction', 'turn', 'thing', 'still', 'give', 'nightmare', 'childhoodi', 'already', 'forced', 'financially', 'rely', 'brother', 'already', 'ha', 'become', 'way']
59
['struggle', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'half', 'life', 'lately', 'ha', 'gotten', 'severe', 'scaring', 'severe', 'bpd', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'havent', 'left', 'house', 'month', 'anxiety', 'ha', 'gotten', 'control', 'little', 'back', 'story', 'fianc', 'cant', 'keep', 'pant', 'cheated', 'wa', 'state', 'medical', 'procedure', 'caused', 'full', 'emotional', 'shut', 'go', 'completely', 'numb', 'feeling', 'everything', 'making', 'suicide', 'plan', 'within', 'minute', 'unable', 'leave', 'home', 'caused', 'lose', 'job', 'alone', 'lot', 'since', 'back', 'town', 'procedure', 'state', 'live', 'doesnt', 'insurance', 'non', 'working', 'somethings', 'mental', 'health', 'problem', 'trying', 'find', 'way', 'release', 'without', 'hurting', 'feel', 'thati', 'amrunning', 'option', 'fianc', 'doesnt', 'know', 'ignores', 'try', 'find', 'way', 'make', 'tiny', 'bit', 'better', 'tell', 'wrong', 'want', 'stop', 'thinking', 'horrible', 'thing']
98
['dont', 'know', 'drowning', 'work', 'class', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'long', 'hate', 'every', 'last', 'part', 'gender', 'hair', 'color', 'everything', 'else', 'hate', 'bloody', 'disgusting', 'hole', 'leg', 'wish', 'could', 'fill', 'cement', 'piv', 'pleasurable', 'stress', 'menstruation', 'pregnancy', 'birth', 'sound', 'horrible']
35
['doesnt', 'get', 'better', 'always', 'got', 'told', 'get', 'better', 'wa', 'younger', 'depressed', 'felt', 'hopeless', 'knew', 'better', 'doesnt', 'happen', 'gave', 'everything', 'chance', 'life', 'needed', 'used', 'broken', 'hurt', 'everything', 'could', 'make', 'thing', 'better', 'always', 'best', 'mental', 'willness', 'ha', 'taken', 'ruined', 'everything', 'left', 'try', 'hard', 'every', 'day', 'always', 'nothing', 'tired', 'friend', 'left', 'speak', 'still', 'say', 'itll', 'get', 'better', 'even', 'though', 'cant', 'say', 'everything', 'could', 'make', 'get', 'better', 'much', 'worse', 'absvhave', 'nothing', 'almost', 'one', 'want', 'hurting', 'stop', 'scared', 'everyone', 'gas', 'given', 'hust', 'wanted', 'happy']
79
['fk', 'oh', 'dear', 'hope', 'everything', 'alright']
6
['amthe', 'stupidest', 'weakest', 'person', 'alive', 'want', 'end', 'finally', 'living', 'man', 'love', 'got', 'along', 'great', 'week', 'ago', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'ha', 'woman', 'best', 'friend', 'chat', 'frequently', 'know', 'feeling', 'towards', 'friendship', 'wa', 'reason', 'moved', 'away', 'couple', 'year', 'ago', 'wont', 'tell', 'anything', 'friendship', 'shes', 'really', 'good', 'friend', 'fight', 'around', 'time', 'moved', 'didnt', 'speak', 'month', 'theyre', 'speaking', 'never', 'tell', 'chat', 'wont', 'even', 'tell', 'fight', 'wa', 'wa', 'misunderstanding', 'going', 'trip', 'next', 'week', 'paid', 'love', 'want', 'experience', 'fun', 'ha', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'well', 'since', 'started', 'new', 'med', 'doesnt', 'even', 'cuddle', 'anymore', 'today', 'grocery', 'shopping', 'whenever', 'text', 'woman', 'never', 'say', 'anything', 'huge', 'smile', 'face', 'havent', 'seen', 'long', 'time', 'asked', 'wa', 'wa', 'excited', 'trip', 'said', 'hasnt', 'really', 'thinking', 'want', 'fucking', 'kill', 'bad', 'right', 'pain', 'felt', 'moved', 'away', 'want', 'go', 'cant', 'go']
122
['done', 'tired', 'life', 'want', 'literally', 'vision', 'future', 'hold', 'want', 'end', 'anxious', 'happen', 'around', 'end', 'life']
15
['overwhelmed', 'dont', 'think', 'alive', 'ive', 'dealing', 'depression', 'thats', 'ignored', 'since', 'wa', 'child', 'ive', 'dealt', 'wanting', 'slit', 'throat', 'year', 'onei', 'amalmost', 'positive', 'one', 'ever', 'love', 'certain', 'circumstance', 'strongly', 'limit', 'choice', 'life', 'future', 'dont', 'feel', 'like', 'deal', 'anymore', 'feel', 'trapped', 'box', 'small', 'cant', 'even', 'move', 'excruciating', 'ive', 'many', 'close', 'call', 'suicide', 'recently', 'ive', 'knife', 'throat', 'wanted', 'badly', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'want', 'kill', 'much']
61
['everything', 'burden', 'including', 'life', 'going', 'nowhere', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'thought', 'something', 'ym', 'ocd', 'would', 'obvious', 'dont', 'know', 'goal', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'handle', 'living', 'cant', 'drive', 'cant', 'anything', 'seriously', 'dont', 'know', 'supposed', 'end', 'lifei', 'feel', 'like', 'everyone', 'trying', 'make', 'fun', 'make', 'uncomfortable', 'miserable', 'possible', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'trying', 'others', 'hate', 'someone', 'say', 'love', 'anyone', 'read', 'dont', 'actually', 'barely', 'know', 'mei', 'amjust', 'insignificant', 'speck', 'world', 'way', 'know', 'could', 'faking', 'fact', 'faking', 'personality', 'none', 'shit']
71
['please', 'please', 'please', 'tell', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'myselt', 'worth', 'ityou', 'worth', 'everyones', 'time', 'every', 'single', 'moment', 'someone', 'even', 'looked', 'wa', 'worth', 'iti', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'think', 'ever', 'almost', 'impossible', 'person', 'see', 'everyone', 'earth', 'shouldnt', 'stop', 'trying', 'change', 'even', 'chance', 'still', 'worth', 'trying']
41
['hate', 'alive', 'various', 'tab', 'open', 'moment', 'suicide', 'going', 'kill', 'wouldnt', 'couldnt', 'thatjust', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'like', 'option', 'stop', 'feel', 'way', 'fucking', 'time', 'tired', 'everything', 'tired', 'r', 'e', 'di', 'know', 'people', 'worse', 'believe', 'appreciate', 'unhappy', 'lonely', 'entire', 'life', 'ive', 'reached', 'point', 'wherei', 'amjust', 'done', 'like', 'ive', 'befallen', 'terrible', 'tragedy', 'climax', 'story', 'point', 'look', 'starryeyed', 'sunset', 'make', 'heartfelt', 'decision', 'eventually', 'overcome', 'great', 'adversity', 'ultimately', 'grow', 'person', 'bullshit', 'exists', 'movie', 'truth', 'life', 'constantly', 'corrodes', 'away', 'soul', 'feel', 'though', 'envoloped', 'black', 'poison', 'worn', 'cracked', 'point', 'horrible', 'ink', 'seeps', 'anything', 'touchnothing', 'good', 'life', 'last', 'doesnt', 'take', 'long', 'good', 'becomes', 'contaminated', 'cant', 'enjoy', 'success', 'poison', 'warp', 'failure', 'cant', 'functional', 'relationship', 'poison', 'reminds', 'nobody', 'could', 'ever', 'like', 'real', 'cant', 'even', 'get', 'help', 'poison', 'constantly', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'deserve', 'itsomething', 'toxic', 'rot']
124
['sometimes', 'wonder', 'maybe', 'commit', 'suicidei', 'really', 'planning', 'sometimes', 'find', 'thinking', 'would', 'relief', 'often', 'dont', 'know', 'mind', 'still', 'averse', 'thought', 'actually', 'mean', 'still', 'basic', 'reason', 'like', 'fact', 'would', 'hurt', 'people', 'genuinely', 'worry', 'commit', 'suicide', 'might', 'trigger', 'one', 'two', 'always', 'want', 'imagine', 'figure', 'thing', 'somedaybut', 'thought', 'dying', 'sound', 'relieving', 'never', 'feel', 'relief', 'life', 'relief', 'super', 'rare', 'still', 'keep', 'thing', 'pushing', 'forward', 'feel', 'like', 'lack', 'relief', 'always', 'keep', 'demotivated', 'make', 'positive', 'change', 'end', 'itsometimes', 'though', 'wish', 'someone', 'personal', 'life', 'would', 'hear', 'problem', 'instead', 'getting', 'uncomfortable', 'typical', 'reaction', 'would', 'actually', 'concerned', 'give', 'understanding', 'ear']
90
['dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'never', 'ending', 'pain', 'whole', 'family', 'full', 'evil', 'wicked', 'people', 'wa', 'always', 'depression', 'since', 'childhood', 'due', 'disease', 'h', 'pylorus', 'parent', 'gave', 'birth', 'also', 'due', 'abusive', 'extremely', 'selfish', 'behaviour', 'condition', 'got', 'worst', 'growing', 'age', 'due', 'lot', 'stress', 'bad', 'diet', 'cant', 'work', 'due', 'willness', 'h', 'pylorus', 'ha', 'given', 'disease', 'also', 'like', 'ibs', 'pcod', 'hyperemia', 'bloating', 'problem', 'since', 'year', 'ha', 'got', 'worsen', 'due', 'stressi', 'able', 'handle', 'pain', 'soon', 'reaching', 'breaking', 'point', 'living', 'parent', 'completely', 'dependant', 'food', 'shelter', 'money', 'medicine', 'cant', 'live', 'separately', 'one', 'help', 'relative', 'evil', 'untrustworthy', 'place', 'ha', 'become', 'worse', 'hell', 'cant', 'take', 'antibiotic', 'h', 'pylorus', 'dont', 'suit', 'health', 'weak', 'well', 'taking', 'herbal', 'treatment', 'grocare', 'say', 'detoxification', 'experiencing', 'symptom', 'energy', 'strength', 'patience', 'left', 'handle', 'pain', 'depression', 'bloating', 'dying', 'day', 'day', 'always', 'pray', 'god', 'pls', 'kill', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'hell', 'never', 'intention', 'bad', 'anyone', 'whole', 'life', 'living', 'terrible', 'life', 'hope', 'freedom', 'never', 'forget', 'evil', 'thing', 'whole', 'family', 'including', 'relative', 'used', 'abused', 'beat', 'molested', 'physically', 'gave', 'disease', 'feel', 'like', 'god', 'satan', 'running', 'world', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'even', 'commit', 'suicide', 'due', 'dog', 'get', 'love', 'else', 'doesnt', 'even', 'exist', 'die', 'throw', 'house', 'pls', 'help']
181
['dont', 'want', 'roommate', 'deal', 'thing', 'really', 'stopping', 'killing', 'dont', 'want', 'roommate', 'find', 'deal', 'doesnt', 'really', 'anything', 'feel', 'really', 'guilty', 'wanting', 'die', 'result', 'leaving', 'behind', 'trauma', 'roommate', 'deal', 'wanted', 'tell', 'someone']
30
['life', 'awful', 'right', 'amworried', 'ive', 'awful', 'state', 'mind', 'hate', 'say', 'father', 'took', 'life', 'recently', 'dont', 'know', 'deal', 'ive', 'suffered', 'depression', 'sparse', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'icing', 'proverbial', 'cake', 'dont', 'know', 'need', 'mother', 'younger', 'sibling', 'need', 'help']
34
['lost', 'wrong', 'thing', 'ive', 'kissless', 'virgin', 'year', 'recently', 'managed', 'break', 'kissless', 'part', 'thanks', 'wasted', 'enough', 'make', 'move', 'tonight', 'managed', 'go', 'home', 'girl', 'lo', 'behold', 'couldnt', 'get', 'gave', 'went', 'homeim', 'kinda', 'feeling', 'nothing', 'right', 'ive', 'thought', 'suicide', 'lot', 'attempted', 'one', 'half', 'kind', 'wayi', 'amjust', 'done']
44
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154
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183
['dont', 'know', 'late', 'last', 'night', 'someone', 'broke', 'home', 'stole', 'worth', 'shit', 'raped', 'mother', 'sister', 'wa', 'tied', 'forced', 'watch', 'scared', 'havent', 'stopped', 'cry', 'please', 'help']
24
['feel', 'like', 'every', 'bit', 'temporary', 'happiness', 'feel', 'worse', 'punishment', 'paini', 'nothing', 'ever', 'stick', 'around', 'people', 'leave', 'ignore', 'pretend', 'dont', 'care', 'whenever', 'feel', 'one', 'good', 'thing', 'immediately', 'get', 'even', 'worse', 'right', 'afterward', 'torture', 'dont', 'care', 'kill', 'becausei', 'already', 'hell']
38
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6
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156
['fear', 'hell', 'really', 'really', 'really', 'wanna', 'kill', 'know', 'kill', 'go', 'hell', 'man', 'worst', 'form', 'trap', 'going', 'hell', 'anyways', 'make', 'faster', 'hell', 'worse', 'man', 'wish', 'wasnt', 'born', 'religious', 'wouldve', 'dead', 'year', 'ago']
31
['long', 'supposed', 'believe', 'get', 'better', 'really', 'tried', 'improve', 'unfuck', 'life', 'certain', 'extent', 'succeeded', 'enough', 'sure', 'ever', 'enough']
17
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33
['amfeeling', 'suicidal', 'hate', 'life', 'much']
5
['somebody', 'kill', 'please', 'whats', 'making', 'feel', 'way', 'told', 'anyone', 'youre', 'going', 'looked', 'getting', 'help']
14
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33
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109
['ameither', 'crazy', 'haunted', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'becausei', 'amalone', 'miserable', 'someone', 'please', 'speak', 'ive', 'gone', 'year', 'without', 'talking', 'anyone', 'alive', 'someone', 'please', 'contact', 'soon']
22
['friend', 'horrible', 'people', 'group', 'friend', 'one', 'away', 'talk', 'crap', 'dont', 'bet', 'talk', 'crap', 'fattest', 'ugliest', 'group']
16
['need', 'friend', 'ever', 'hi', 'friend']
5
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116
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277
['feel', 'like', 'cant', 'breathe', 'every', 'worry', 'money', 'worry', 'worry', 'payment', 'rent', 'feel', 'like', 'never', 'enough', 'money', 'dont', 'know', 'stop', 'cant', 'keep', 'feeling', 'like', 'killing']
24
['feeling', 'empty', 'inside', 'year', 'depressed']
5
['planning', 'end', 'school', 'year', 'mess', 'starting', 'plan', 'end', 'life', 'mess', 'english', 'class', 'already', 'f', 'tried', 'find', 'way', 'relieve', 'stress', 'doesnt', 'go', 'planned', 'need', 'end', 'life', 'hate', 'english', 'teacher', 'crap', 'expects', 'complete', 'page', 'note', 'day', 'best', 'way', 'could', 'force', 'college', 'mess', 'f', 'bad', 'junior', 'year']
44
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122
['wa', 'normal', 'normal', 'never', 'normali', 'passion', 'nothing', 'interest', 'hobby', 'already', 'dead', 'inside', 'time', 'kill', 'myselfbye']
15
['bring', 'nothing', 'burden', 'everyone', 'meet', 'know', 'mother', 'disowned', 'father', 'ignored', 'call', 'work', 'field', 'involved', 'around', 'lot', 'different', 'type', 'medicine', 'ive', 'researching', 'think', 'found', 'good', 'cocktail', 'havent', 'happy', 'wa', 'found', 'medicine', 'wa', 'available', 'long', 'long', 'time', 'ive', 'made', 'many', 'bad', 'choice', 'took', 'life', 'granted', 'start', 'even', 'even', 'vast', 'nothingness', 'would', 'much', 'better', 'life', 'hope', 'courage', 'strength', 'finally', 'need', 'done', 'peace']
59
['friend', 'dad', 'told', 'kill', 'girlfriend', 'friend', 'texted', 'minute', 'ago', 'parent', 'beat', 'shit', 'kicked', 'went', 'go', 'pick', 'bring', 'back', 'girlfriend', 'house', 'moment', 'girlfriend', 'house', 'friend', 'talking', 'u', 'whats', 'happened', 'throughout', 'day', 'dad', 'basically', 'said', 'youre', 'thinking', 'killing', 'already', 'also', 'hit', 'couple', 'time', 'forcing', 'room', 'shes', 'changing', 'shes', 'without', 'undergarment', 'loose', 'cloth', 'dress', 'kick', 'tell', 'u', 'wa', 'basically', 'trying', 'guilt', 'killing', 'crazy', 'would', 'want', 'kill', 'didnt', 'kill', 'womb', 'sorry', 'placei', 'amjust', 'trying', 'relay', 'severity', 'situation', 'really', 'want', 'help', 'help', 'situation', 'cant', 'stay', 'girlfriend', 'house', 'moment', 'ha', 'nothing', 'dress', 'ha', 'phone', 'parent', 'expect', 'home', 'today', 'minute', 'dinner', 'friend', 'house', 'help', 'appreciated']
98
['want', 'feeling', 'getting', 'unbearable', 'started', 'new', 'full', 'time', 'job', 'monday', 'office', 'night', 'ive', 'ended', 'cry', 'sleep', 'thinking', 'miserable', 'v', 'happy', 'wa', 'couple', 'year', 'ago', 'thing', 'changed', 'like', 'ive', 'depressed', 'year', 'introvertedshyness', 'turned', 'full', 'blown', 'social', 'anxiety', 'ive', 'distanced', 'friend', 'much', 'basically', 'forgot', 'exist', 'ive', 'failed', 'good', 'son', 'parent', 'complete', 'mess', 'past', 'year', 'dont', 'take', 'care', 'diet', 'even', 'bother', 'gym', 'anymore', 'dont', 'carei', 'dont', 'see', 'changing', 'better', 'time', 'soon', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'thing', 'ha', 'helped', 'far', 'medical', 'marijuana', 'night', 'even', 'temporary', 'true', 'solution', 'work', 'month', 'contract', 'seriously', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'going', 'honest', 'right', 'dont', 'see', 'going', 'past', 'thing', 'could', 'hold', 'back', 'parent', 'like', 'much', 'take', 'life', 'know', 'genuinely', 'love', 'would', 'ruin']
110
['depressed', 'last', 'couple', 'year', 'struggling', 'depression', 'loneliness', 'need', 'someone', 'talk', 'someone', 'dont', 'know', 'something', 'shouldnt']
15
['id', 'rather', 'die', 'faili', 'struggling', 'depression', 'since', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'nearly', 'every', 'day', 'since', 'amfinally', 'realizing', 'dont', 'reason', 'sure', 'cause', 'lot', 'pain', 'love', 'cant', 'keep', 'living', 'never', 'feel', 'good', 'enough', 'feel', 'like', 'huge', 'burden', 'around', 'imagine', 'life', 'hell', 'like', 'every', 'time', 'gain', 'pound', 'spend', 'dollar', 'fight', 'gf', 'struggle', 'something', 'professionally', 'academically', 'feel', 'like', 'end', 'world', 'feel', 'either', 'fat', 'broke', 'feel', 'like', 'gf', 'hate', 'feel', 'stupidi', 'amdone', 'cant', 'wait', 'pain', 'end', 'one', 'way']
71
['good', 'friend', 'mine', 'broke', 'one', 'closest', 'friend', 'f', 'talking', 'suicide', 'dont', 'know', 'help', 'breakup', 'came', 'surprise', 'everyone', 'apparently', 'broke', 'dont', 'think', 'specific', 'matter', 'much', 'ive', 'never', 'situation', 'help']
28
['college', 'friend', 'plan', 'future', 'reason', 'live', 'want', 'believe', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'havent', 'seen', 'anything', 'prove', 'soi', 'amprobably', 'gonna', 'end', 'soon', 'cant', 'see', 'reason']
23
['made', 'people', 'cared', 'hate', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'several', 'really', 'good', 'friend', 'wa', 'close', 'started', 'become', 'depressed', 'really', 'supportive', 'caring', 'prayed', 'become', 'toxic', 'moodkiller', 'unintentionally', 'guilttripped', 'hurt', 'friend', 'eventually', 'left', 'one', 'made', 'wa', 'accomplishment', 'get', 'rid', 'another', 'one', 'told', 'point', 'commit', 'suicide', 'anyone', 'hurt', 'drove', 'away', 'caring', 'loving', 'people', 'keep', 'living', 'value', 'kind', 'life', 'ive', 'went', 'college', 'made', 'lot', 'cool', 'friend', 'doesnt', 'change', 'fact', 'hurt', 'past', 'friend', 'made', 'leave', 'make', 'sense', 'die']
70
['place', 'wanting', 'stop', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'hypomanic', 'last', 'day', 'dont', 'insurance', 'cant', 'afford', 'medication', 'doctor', 'visit', 'cant', 'seem', 'calm', 'mind', 'racing', 'cant', 'focus', 'anything', 'hate', 'feeling', 'stuck', 'disorder', 'helping', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'feel', 'completely', 'control']
33
['literally', 'one', 'ive', 'really', 'bad', 'depression', 'along', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'since', 'wa', 'around', 'year', 'oldi', 'getting', 'unbearable', 'one', 'life', 'come', 'anything', 'literally', 'work', 'go', 'home', 'apartment', 'sleep', 'work', 'fault', 'agenesis', 'corpus', 'callosum', 'basically', 'make', 'socially', 'inept', 'like', 'talk', 'people', 'work', 'necessary', 'otherwise', 'dont', 'talk', 'unless', 'someone', 'speaks', 'first', 'guessi', 'amjust', 'stubborn', 'extremely', 'hard', 'open', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'conversing', 'people', 'dont', 'matter', 'end', 'day', 'basically', 'dug', 'hole', 'refuse', 'open', 'anyone', 'left', 'nothing', 'dont', 'see', 'world', 'much', 'longer', 'really', 'feel', 'likei', 'amincapable', 'living', 'ive', 'much', 'fucked', 'shit', 'life', 'really', 'dont', 'want', 'shit', 'anymore', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'explain', 'everything', 'much', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'say', 'everythings', 'pointless', 'though', 'reason', 'reasoni', 'still', 'havent', 'found', 'reliable', 'suicide', 'method', 'soon', 'though', 'wont', 'hesitate', 'kill']
116
['hopelessness', 'think', 'biggest', 'problem', 'cant', 'find', 'single', 'thing', 'hopeful', 'experience', 'life', 'never', 'anything', 'care', 'work', 'fail', 'lose', 'everything', 'ever', 'wanted', 'wa', 'cared', 'one', 'care', 'need', 'help', 'one', 'listens', 'life', 'impossible', 'without', 'hope', 'reason', 'hope', 'hope', 'ha', 'useless', 'nothing', 'ever', 'wished', 'wanted', 'hoped', 'ever', 'came', 'pas']
45
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184
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27
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62
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24
['need', 'help', 'figure', 'handf', 'end', 'alcohol', 'numb', 'cant', 'slit', 'wrist', 'pill', 'would', 'good']
13
['cant', 'dont', 'want', 'alone']
4
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24
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69
['wa', 'genuinely', 'suicidal', 'would', 'rob', 'bank', 'people', 'arent', 'suicidal', 'often', 'think', 'person', 'suicidal', 'doesnt', 'care', 'money']
16
['feel', 'weak', 'pathetic', 'full', 'regret', 'hatred', 'want', 'die', 'fuck', 'sake', 'cant', 'die']
12
['got', 'asked', 'question', 'suicidal', 'tendancies', 'new', 'clinic', 'made', 'uncomfortable', 'going', 'huge', 'change', 'minute', 'including', 'moving', 'parent', 'house', 'signed', 'new', 'mental', 'health', 'counsellor', 'got', 'urgant', 'call', 'back', 'response', 'severity', 'desire', 'kill', 'ive', 'pretfy', 'good', 'recently', 'think', 'move', 'life', 'start', 'picking', 'saying', 'loud', 'thought', 'killing', 'reminded', 'uncommon', 'intense', 'thought', 'find', 'day', 'unbearable', 'best', 'love', 'full', 'self', 'hatred']
55
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189
['question', 'try', 'help', 'comment', 'post', 'doe', 'matter', 'important', 'people', 'hate', 'alive', 'cant', 'bare', 'another', 'minute', 'existence', 'keep', 'keeping', 'want', 'u', 'force', 'live', 'miserable', 'existence', 'inevitably', 'die', 'one', 'day', 'anyway', 'important', 'continue', 'suffer', 'rather', 'allow', 'peace']
35
['still', 'got', 'drunk', 'passed', 'didnt', 'kill', 'woke', 'shitty', 'hostel', 'huge', 'bump', 'forehead', 'didnt', 'even', 'know', 'happened', 'lost', 'pound', 'one', 'week', 'canti', 'amseeking', 'help', 'hey', 'therei', 'amglad', 'youre', 'still', 'u', 'hope', 'long', 'time', 'let', 'chat', 'talk', 'youre', 'feeling', 'right', 'nowi', 'amup', 'anything']
41
['feel', 'fucking', 'weak', 'goddammit', 'feel', 'fucking', 'cursed', 'fuck', 'cant', 'feel', 'happy', 'fucking', 'stupid', 'immature', 'cant', 'feel', 'fucking', 'ok', 'fucking', 'stay', 'way', 'good', 'cant', 'fucking', 'want', 'without', 'falling', 'apart', 'every', 'timei', 'amscared', 'mom', 'gonna', 'around', 'much', 'longer', 'cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'much', 'disappointment', 'son', 'parent', 'matter', 'cant', 'normal', 'functional', 'fucking', 'person', 'mentally', 'fucking', 'seems', 'like', 'way', 'ever', 'rid', 'fucking', 'dead', 'life', 'ha', 'already', 'complete', 'waste']
63
['realized', 'never', 'ever', 'like', 'keep', 'living', 'life', 'painful', 'worth', 'live', 'something', 'despise']
12
['imi', 'dont', 'know', 'know', 'drawing', 'quartering', 'feel', 'like', 'happening', 'mind', 'instead', 'finally', 'torn', 'apart', 'left', 'lingering', 'everlasting', 'state', 'almost', 'much', 'pressure', 'fear', 'failure', 'question', 'expectation', 'change', 'trauma', 'anxiety', 'almost', 'likei', 'amfeeling', 'much', 'registered', 'nothing', 'justi', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'ha', 'caused', 'weight', 'know', 'mind', 'ha', 'varying', 'stage', 'drawn', 'quartered', 'past', 'year', 'much', 'muchi', 'built', 'thisi', 'young', 'able', 'handle', 'cant']
60
['brother', 'tried', 'kill', 'help', 'need', 'advice', 'try', 'thing', 'interested', 'like', 'like', 'horror', 'movie', 'take', 'like', 'video', 'game', 'play', 'game', 'something', 'thing', 'like', 'take', 'mind']
24
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31
['call', 'police', 'girlfriend', 'fight', 'earlier', 'night', 'fell', 'asleep', 'didnt', 'realize', 'wa', 'sending', 'message', 'begging', 'answer', 'last', 'message', 'said', 'ifi', 'amgone', 'tonight', 'love', 'youi', 'amfreaking', 'becausei', 'amafraid', 'something', 'wa', 'knocking', 'door', 'house', 'one', 'answered', 'mei', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'home', 'ive', 'bombarding', 'phone', 'call', 'doesnt', 'answer', 'sure', 'put', 'silent', 'ori', 'amfearing', 'worst']
52
['ive', 'finished', 'suicide', 'letter', 'ive', 'thinking', 'say', 'walking', 'around', 'half', 'finished', 'nowi', 'going', 'wait', 'week', 'thing', 'dont', 'change', 'theni', 'amflying', 'california', 'getting', 'hotel', 'hanging', 'myselfi', 'looking', 'anyone', 'try', 'change', 'mindi', 'amjust', 'putting', 'universe', 'wish', 'everyone', 'best', 'wish', 'luck', 'choice', 'wish', 'wa', 'loved', 'post', 'update', 'trip', 'hopefully', 'itll', 'help', 'science', 'someone', 'else', 'whatever']
52
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71
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255
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109
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230
['feel', 'depressed', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'waste', 'much', 'time', 'stuff', 'dont', 'like', 'dont', 'like', 'job', 'work', 'hour', 'shit', 'payment', 'cant', 'even', 'save', 'single', 'dollar', 'cause', 'spend', 'much', 'need', 'give', 'earning', 'mum', 'money', 'thats', 'left', 'need', 'pay', 'bill', 'cant', 'buy', 'stuff', 'cant', 'good', 'time', 'cant', 'save', 'car', 'let', 'say', 'girl', 'ive', 'year', 'spend', 'time', 'good', 'shes', 'feel', 'alone', 'work', 'come', 'home', 'spend', 'alone', 'time', 'town', 'dont', 'car', 'go', 'place', 'amjust', 'wondering', 'going', 'feel', 'alone', 'time', 'purpose', 'need', 'higher', 'meaning', 'feel', 'like', 'much', 'life', 'like', 'isnt', 'whati', 'amsupposed', 'supposed', 'feel', 'like', 'great', 'dont', 'like', 'much', 'thing', 'work', 'depressing', 'fuckk', 'always', 'come', 'home', 'tired', 'dont', 'know', 'today', 'didnt', 'go', 'job', 'wa', 'bored', 'need', 'something', 'life', 'wanna', 'somebody', 'dont', 'wanna', 'waste', 'time', 'thing', 'dont', 'like', 'wanna', 'thing', 'love', 'make', 'happy', 'dont', 'wanna', 'unhappy']
128
['best', 'place', 'doe', 'anyone', 'uk', 'know', 'best', 'place', 'jump', 'front', 'traini', 'amtalking', 'le', 'security', 'etc', 'thanks']
16
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88
['want', 'dead', 'dont', 'want', 'die', 'want', 'deadi', 'much', 'pussy', 'commit', 'suicide']
11
['weird', 'one', 'kind', 'want', 'kill', 'also', 'dont', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'going', 'head', 'right', 'want', 'dead', 'dont', 'dont', 'want', 'cause', 'pain', 'wife', 'family', 'friend', 'dont', 'want', 'thought', 'anymore', 'anyone', 'want', 'exist', 'one', 'day', 'maybe']
33
['multimonth', 'mental', 'healthcare', 'wait', 'time', 'inhumane', 'fuck', 'manitoba', 'healthcarei', 'dont', 'want', 'suicide', 'harm', 'others', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'supposed', 'pas', 'time', 'episode', 'major', 'depression']
23
['amsad', 'cant', 'remember', 'anytime', 'ive', 'truly', 'happy', 'thing', 'keeping', 'going', 'fact', 'family', 'would', 'destroyed', 'killed', 'brother', 'gonna', 'probably', 'end', 'life', 'ifi']
21
['ruin', 'life', 'fast', 'even', 'begini', 'amabout', 'let', 'life', 'go', 'ive', 'already', 'fucked', 'beyond', 'seemingly', 'repairi', 'gay', 'white', 'male', 'living', 'texas', 'totally', 'fucked', 'life', 'found', 'hiv', 'positive', 'another', 'std', 'started', 'sleeping', 'around', 'exactly', 'one', 'month', 'ago', 'mostly', 'unprotected', 'people', 'contact', 'high', 'risk', 'contact', 'particular', 'strain', 'chlamydia', 'resistant', 'month', 'meth', 'first', 'time', 'gotten', 'addicted', 'le', 'two', 'week', 'shocked', 'everything', 'drug', 'closest', 'thing', 'satan', 'earth', 'cannot', 'believe', 'month', 'ago', 'wa', 'successful', 'decently', 'good', 'life', 'beating', 'homelessness', 'month', 'keeping', 'shit', 'together', 'angry', 'control', 'wonder', 'recklessness', 'triggered', 'guess', 'always', 'wanted', 'kill', 'say', 'nearly', 'every', 'day', 'never', 'thought', 'would', 'research', 'pas', 'along', 'finding', 'someone', 'else', 'done', 'nothing', 'else', 'life', 'barely', 'done', 'anything', 'else', 'good', 'grade', 'mcl', 'pbk', 'ashamed', 'life', 'cannot', 'go', 'access', 'nitrogen', 'line', 'tracked', 'sat', 'second', 'dont', 'want', 'lab', 'partner', 'find', 'body']
127
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81
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101
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113
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351
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36
['offing', 'tonight', 'ask', 'question', 'life', 'worth', 'living', 'end']
8
['know', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'depressed', 'person', 'pleasure', 'life', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'worth', 'pain', 'anymore', 'speech', 'impediment', 'stuttering', 'make', 'overthink', 'every', 'single', 'scenario', 'encounter', 'even', 'simple', 'buying', 'something', 'nearby', 'store', 'much', 'head', 'come', 'mouth', 'next', 'nothing', 'sorry', 'making', 'excuse', 'sorry', 'failure', 'sorry', 'existing']
41
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65
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61
['hit', 'like', 'wave', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'like', 'absolute', 'crap', 'wa', 'fine', 'yesterday', 'maybe', 'ditched', 'lied', 'like', 'alwaysi', 'keep', 'dragging', 'around', 'whats', 'bringing', 'let', 'go', 'id', 'set', 'free']
27
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90
['lost', 'last', 'reason', 'kept', 'world', 'tonight', 'die', 'last', 'reason', 'fight', 'disappeared', 'going', 'keep', 'fighting', 'going', 'get', 'help', 'take', 'advise', 'dont', 'know', 'post', 'going', 'kill']
24
['live', 'anymore', 'life', 'mom', 'hate', 'gut', 'hit', 'almost', 'time', 'cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'everytime', 'get', 'sad', 'plz', 'help']
18
['sooni', 'done', 'everything', 'worthless', 'single', 'man', 'still', 'virgin', 'barely', 'friend', 'even', 'friend', 'dont', 'know', 'true', 'self', 'parent', 'constantly', 'remind', 'bad', 'pressuring', 'giving', 'hobby', 'get', 'better', 'grade', 'college', 'dont', 'better', 'world', 'english', 'school', 'country', 'done', 'bullying', 'past', 'still', 'haunt', 'zero', 'self', 'worth', 'goodbye', 'bully', 'hope', 'youre', 'happy', 'learn', 'killed']
48
['would', 'story', 'drop', 'enough', 'kill', 'someone', 'depends', 'ya', 'land', 'guess', 'wrong', 'wish', 'hadnt']
13
['good', 'bye', 'done', 'wife', 'left', 'packed', 'clothes', 'back', 'car', 'kid', 'still', 'asleep', 'took', 'dozen', 'pain', 'pill', 'shredded', 'arm', 'upi', 'going', 'pas', 'chair', 'soon', 'hopefully', 'find', 'gonegood', 'bye']
27
['tonight', 'big', 'night', 'got', 'three', 'tube', 'bromazepam', 'lexomil', 'lot', 'red', 'wine', 'absolutely', 'fucking', 'live', 'lefti', 'family', 'except', 'abusive', 'mom', 'boyfriend', 'lovely', 'postponed', 'visit', 'one', 'friend', 'cant', 'help', 'feel', 'awfully', 'jealous', 'life', 'stopped', 'therapy', 'back', 'med', 'dont', 'really', 'help', 'make', 'want', 'kill', 'thought', 'many', 'time', 'tonight', 'night']
46
['ive', 'started', 'plan', 'never', 'thought', 'id', 'get', 'point']
8
['th', 'birthday', 'today', 'birthday', 'survived', 'year', 'life', 'battling', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'self', 'harming', 'thank', 'helping', 'achieve']
15
['barely', 'get', 'bed', 'month', 'would', 'continue', 'life', 'future', 'work', 'survival', 'barely', 'energy', 'kill', 'right']
14
['would', 'zombie', 'apocalypse', 'like', 'mean', 'bitten', 'kill', 'bullet', 'didnt', 'go', 'would', 'really', 'feel', 'anything', 'turned']
15
['ruin', 'everything', 'cause', 'think', 'ruin', 'everything']
6
['wa', 'googling', 'way', 'kill', 'find', 'article', 'tell', 'sex', 'prevent', 'killing', 'really', 'looking', 'way', 'kill', 'please', 'stop', 'reading', 'see', 'shrink', 'get', 'high', 'awesome', 'meaningless', 'sexjust', 'fucking', 'lol', 'normie', 'understands', 'like', 'incel']
30
['year', 'theni', 'still', 'living', 'like', 'allow', 'freedom', 'end', 'likely', 'nothing', 'change', 'end', 'offing', 'year', 'give', 'universe', 'chanceout', 'vestige', 'faithno', 'acknowledge', 'seeing', 'clearly', 'havent', 'year', 'would', 'unacceptable', 'become', 'new', 'normali', 'amgiving', 'year']
31
['hurt', 'anything', 'ive', 'ive', 'shit', 'broke', 'person', 'ive', 'remembered', 'loving', 'year', 'hurt', 'boy', 'doesnt', 'want', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'everything', 'coming', 'end', 'need', 'help', 'please']
24
['one', 'turn', 'almost', 'everyone', 'would', 'make', 'fun', 'calling', 'name', 'treating', 'like', 'trash', 'really', 'hurt', 'friend', 'made', 'feel', 'horrible', 'changed', 'way', 'view', 'people', 'year', 'already', 'passed', 'started', 'like', 'time', 'go', 'got', 'worse', 'anger', 'left', 'disappointed', 'ruining', 'empty', 'shell', 'cant', 'even', 'function', 'like', 'human', 'antisocial', 'life', 'locked', 'room', 'reading', 'book', 'parent', 'calling', 'crazy', 'going', 'acting', 'emo', 'look', 'likei', 'ammad']
57
['going', 'college', 'wa', 'supposed', 'help', 'fresh', 'start', 'cry', 'bed', 'wishing', 'could', 'work', 'courage', 'bottle', 'pill', 'could', 'overwhelmed', 'break', 'possibility', 'dropping', 'certain', 'class']
22
['dumbest', 'question', 'world', 'doe', 'everyone', 'everywhere', 'everyday', 'ask', 'dumb', 'question', 'dont', 'ever', 'want', 'real', 'answer', 'toohow']
16
['cant', 'deal', 'anymore', 'going', 'detaili', 'tired', 'put', 'disrespectfuli', 'amjust', 'angry', 'one', 'notice', 'say', 'something', 'everyone', 'ignores', 'used', 'think', 'wa', 'joking', 'asked', 'old', 'friend', 'thought', 'even', 'try', 'make', 'serious', 'still', 'ignore']
30
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64
['morning', 'morning', 'wa', 'tough', 'thought', 'farewell', 'desire', 'truly', 'reach', 'waking', 'weekend', 'toughest', 'work', 'keep', 'pretending', 'normal', 'mf', 'child', 'man', 'love', 'used', 'reason', 'stay', 'hurt', 'heart', 'deepi', 'chose', 'life', 'today', 'even', 'feel', 'likei', 'amdying']
33
['wish', 'jumped', 'day', 'ago', 'strength', 'yes', 'ive', 'keeping', 'count', 'wa', 'may', 'th', 'decided', 'wa', 'nothing', 'hazard', 'society', 'wa', 'gonna', 'end', 'life', 'jumping', 'bridge', 'near', 'house', 'friend', 'called', 'police', 'day', 'later', 'wa', 'psych', 'ward', 'bridge', 'always', 'still', 'day', 'couldnt', 'fear', 'death', 'le', 'much', 'typical', 'cowardic', 'anything', 'go', 'jump', 'save', 'little', 'honor', 'left']
51
['college', 'dud', 'waste', 'life', 'thought', 'phenomenally', 'exam', 'last', 'week', 'material', 'wa', 'simple', 'laid', 'wa', 'like', 'ten', 'multiple', 'choice', 'fill', 'blank', 'question', 'got', 'close', 'f', 'even', 'though', 'exam', 'day', 'walked', 'full', 'utter', 'confidence', 'got', 'nothing', 'le', 'bnow', 'got', 'lab', 'report', 'everything', 'necessary', 'except', 'forgot', 'one', 'easy', 'calculation', 'lost', 'point', 'one', 'calculation', 'could', 'worth', 'much', 'wa', 'basic', 'addition', 'dividing', 'average', 'wa', 'purpose', 'lab', 'either', 'professor', 'havent', 'responded', 'email', 'want', 'give', 'want', 'get', 'degree', 'leave', 'future', 'behind', 'another', 'wasted', 'semesteri', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'hurt', 'take', 'responsibility', 'fault', 'shock', 'manyi', 'exam', 'tomorrow', 'another', 'friday', 'class', 'dont', 'understandi', 'amsure', 'drop', 'let', 'work', 'fam', 'coworkers']
98
['injury', 'took', 'friend', 'wife', 'nothing', 'live', 'wife', 'year', 'highschool', 'sweetheart', 'love', 'life', 'leaving', 'ive', 'become', 'sad', 'miserable', 'injury', 'give', 'pain', 'causing', 'discomfort', 'inabiliuty', 'work', 'etc', 'shes', 'watching', 'life', 'pas', 'doesnt', 'want', 'pas', 'cant', 'really', 'blame', 'want', 'kill', 'though', 'life', 'suck', 'one', 'one', 'friend', 'loved', 'one', 'drop', 'away', 'beacayuse', 'dont', 'make', 'bank', 'big', 'muscle', 'nice', 'car', 'seems', 'like', 'everybody', 'look', 'overi', 'steroid', 'month', 'back', 'everyone', 'treated', 'totally', 'differently', 'body', 'wa', 'big', 'get', 'disappointed', 'sad', 'looksim', 'going', 'try', 'steroid', 'doesnt', 'make', 'life', 'happy', 'kill', 'myselfhelli', 'amthinking', 'right', 'called', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'twice', 'friend', 'told', 'friend', 'go', 'er', 'immediately', 'didnt', 'go', 'talked', 'girl', 'said', 'even', 'wa', 'super', 'successful', 'wouldnt', 'get', 'back', 'together', 'crushed', 'wa', 'life', 'secretly', 'holding', 'hope', 'would', 'come', 'back', 'got', 'successful', 'hit', 'shell', 'probaly', 'taken', 'next', 'white', 'dude', 'bachelor', 'lose', 'forever', 'lost', 'bcause', 'fucking', 'injurythe', 'injury', 'got', 'basically', 'cause', 'took', 'white', 'asian', 'rave', 'party', 'got', 'handed', 'free', 'ecstasy', 'popped', 'shit', 'rolled', 'head', 'around', 'hard', 'thats', 'pain', 'started', 'shes', 'leaving', 'cause', 'say', 'isnt', 'responsible', 'happiness', 'problemall', 'friend', 'gone', 'mom', 'died', 'dad', 'old', 'grumpy', 'old', 'man', 'cant', 'even', 'talk', 'dab', 'thing', 'keeping', 'sane', 'mention', 'million', 'problem', 'edge', 'want', 'hold', 'life', 'want', 'kill', 'stop', 'bothering', 'everyone', 'already']
192
['survivor', 'advice', 'question', 'people', 'suffered', 'chronic', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'find', 'live', 'permanently', 'change', 'negative', 'thought', 'pattern', 'least', 'stop', 'believing', 'themlike', 'many', 'people', 'post', 'currently', 'fragile', 'state', 'however', 'feel', 'brink', 'making', 'change', 'part', 'scared', 'commit', 'life', 'fear', 'failing', 'fear', 'pain', 'comeregardless', 'tired', 'suffering', 'healthy', 'way', 'live', 'know', 'hurt', 'people', 'committing', 'suicide', 'still', 'get', 'caught', 'meaninglessness', 'alli', 'feeling', 'bit', 'sick', 'worried', 'something', 'want', 'desperately', 'consumed', 'fear', 'live', 'die', 'state', 'small', 'quiet', 'voice', 'within', 'want', 'break', 'unknown', 'full', 'potentialhow', 'trust', 'voice', 'feel', 'wrong', 'feel', 'afraid', 'feel', 'alonehow', 'find', 'part', 'move', 'forwardim', 'afraidits', 'embarrassing', 'admit', 'really', 'afraidi', 'necessarily', 'looking', 'advice', 'ive', 'heard', 'general', 'basicsi', 'looking', 'courageeverything', 'body', 'telling', 'venture', 'stay', 'everything', 'comfortable', 'sad', 'miseryi', 'tired', 'living', 'addictionit', 'surround', 'meeven', 'cant', 'escape', 'people', 'around', 'longer', 'want', 'consume', 'dont', 'want', 'permeate', 'skin', 'swim', 'vein', 'chance', 'getsim', 'terrified', 'getting', 'better', 'idea', 'look', 'like', 'afraid', 'truly', 'feeling', 'dont', 'know', 'protect', 'world', 'maybe', 'dont', 'quite', 'trust', 'yeteven', 'type', 'feel', 'reality', 'slipping', 'away', 'mind', 'dissociating', 'dont', 'understand', 'doe', 'even', 'time', 'like', 'feel', 'safe', 'want', 'feel', 'confident', 'freeit', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'maybe', 'shouldnt']
171
['tonight', 'night', 'ive', 'got', 'twice', 'minimum', 'lethal', 'dosage', 'pill', 'nice', 'razor', 'blade', 'amplanning', 'take', 'nice', 'trip', 'overpass', 'middle', 'night', 'love']
20
['feel', 'unwanted', 'nobody', 'want', 'around', 'matter', 'good', 'always', 'something', 'wrong', 'get', 'hurt', 'still', 'fault', 'get', 'ignored', 'bitched', 'reason', 'wish', 'dead']
20
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132
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262
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298
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45
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158
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176
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253
['online', 'friend', 'trying', 'od', 'anyone', 'locate', 'tumblr', 'user', 'arthursbasement', 'life', 'california', 'posted', 'committing', 'suicide', 'messaging', 'stopped', 'replying', 'said', 'already', 'took', 'pill']
21
['cant', 'cope', 'life', 'anymore', 'want', 'die', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'taken', 'every', 'aspect', 'daily', 'life', 'cant', 'control', 'anymore', 'everyday', 'suicide', 'start', 'make', 'sensei', 'amsick', 'cry', 'sleep', 'every', 'nighti', 'amsick', 'thinking', 'friend', 'constantly', 'hate', 'know', 'donti', 'amsick', 'eatingi', 'amsick', 'tired', 'timei', 'amsick', 'parent', 'refuse', 'talk', 'thing', 'cant', 'enjoy', 'anything', 'anymore', 'cant', 'remember', 'last', 'time', 'wa', 'truly', 'happy', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'like', 'anymore', 'cant', 'anymore', 'feel', 'fucking', 'lonelyi', 'want', 'die']
66
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89
['suicide', 'virtual', 'friend', 'comitted', 'suicide', 'dont', 'know', 'deal', 'even', 'thought', 'never', 'met', 'person', 'saw', 'face', 'feel', 'hurted', 'wa', 'like', 'met', 'year', 'ago']
22
['need', 'therapist', 'pretty', 'much', 'title', 'mind', 'right', 'hasnt', 'past', 'five', 'year']
11
['feel', 'likei', 'amstanding', 'edge', 'recently', 'ive', 'drastically', 'cut', 'marijuana', 'usage', 'every', 'day', 'twice', 'week', 'daysi', 'sober', 'spent', 'stressing', 'keep', 'professional', 'persona', 'work', 'every', 'goal', 'try', 'look', 'forward', 'sound', 'uninviting', 'day', 'smoke', 'make', 'happy', 'overthink', 'criticize', 'become', 'deeply', 'introspective', 'sad', 'much', 'need', 'fixed', 'apparent', 'found', 'someone', 'least', 'care', 'show', 'beauty', 'life', 'worry', 'often', 'depression', 'ruin', 'u', 'connection', 'know', 'rare', 'cant', 'ruin', 'u', 'wonder', 'increasingly', 'stressful', 'day', 'lead', 'growth', 'death']
68
['homework', 'lifei', 'ama', 'psychopath', 'would', 'rather', 'die', 'homeworkor', 'work', 'feel', 'like', 'half', 'lifei', 'hate', 'tothe', 'life', 'like', 'doi', 'really', 'hate', 'highschooli', 'hate', 'life', 'pure', 'pain', 'want', 'happy', 'nope', 'go', 'trough', 'depressionto', 'fake', 'happiness', 'everyone', 'doesent', 'judge', 'exclude', 'youand', 'hide', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'parentsbecause', 'love', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'badim', 'impressed', 'dyingim', 'also', 'atheist', 'idea', 'nothing', 'forever', 'sound', 'great', 'really', 'dont', 'think', 'suicide', 'big', 'dealis', 'people', 'consider', 'death', 'bad', 'thing', 'know', 'lifebut', 'point', 'anything', 'would', 'better', 'livingi', 'suicidal', 'hate', 'someone', 'bullied', 'mei', 'amsuicidal', 'realized', 'life', 'always', 'strike', 'downand', 'sometimes', 'want', 'stay', 'ground', 'without', 'get', 'science', 'right', 'microscopic', 'spec', 'living', 'giant', 'floating', 'rock', 'spacesurrounded', 'nothingness', 'big', 'giant', 'star', 'thats', 'going', 'eat', 'stupid', 'planet', 'million', 'year', 'believe', 'doesnt', 'help', 'everything', 'think', 'important', 'isntbecause', 'end', 'nothing', 'matterswhen', 'humanity', 'dieseverything', 'good', 'thingsbad', 'thingsglobal', 'warming', 'disappearand', 'nothing', 'worth', 'iti', 'would', 'already', 'committed', 'suicide', 'wasnt', 'two', 'thing', 'parentsi', 'love', 'cant', 'imagine', 'much', 'would', 'hurt', 'paini', 'really', 'obsessed', 'painand', 'really', 'want', 'go', 'sleep', 'never', 'wake', 'upto', 'remove', 'problemsmy', 'homeworkmy', 'sadness', 'daily', 'existencial', 'crisisim', 'sorry', 'wanted', 'get', 'sistemany', 'advice']
168
['life', 'feel', 'life', 'look', 'shes', 'happy', 'girl', 'let', 'fuck', 'make', 'depressed']
11
['amabout', 'force', 'end', 'life', 'first', 'alli', 'amsick', 'tired', 'people', 'saying', 'oh', 'others', 'worse', 'blah', 'blah', 'point', 'dont', 'give', 'fuck', 'others', 'driving', 'insane', 'cant', 'ask', 'help', 'thats', 'heari', 'going', 'crazy', 'dealing', 'stressi', 'amalways', 'edge', 'killing', 'someone', 'breaking', 'boyfriend', 'dont', 'bring', 'feel', 'wheni', 'amwith', 'forget', 'everything', 'dont', 'want', 'think', 'youre', 'crazy', 'weirdo', 'act', 'like', 'love', 'want', 'die', 'cant', 'stand', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'hated', 'everyone', 'little', 'people', 'like', 'feel', 'normal', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'killing', 'cant', 'take', 'alex', 'ever', 'find', 'theni', 'damn', 'sorry', 'really', 'love', 'cant', 'take', 'iti', 'going', 'insanei', 'sorry']
90
['exactly', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'help', 'ive', 'verge', 'suicide', 'thinking', 'calling', 'one', 'number', 'time', 'say', 'bullshit', 'like', 'much', 'life', 'follow', 'script', 'honestly', 'cant', 'see', 'talking', 'anyone', 'suicide']
25
['mental', 'health', 'making', 'suicidal', 'suffer', 'sexual', 'intrusive', 'thought', 'ocd', 'anxiety', 'depressioni', 'amdesperate', 'die', 'intrusive', 'thought', 'arent', 'therei', 'amthinking', 'different', 'way', 'kill', 'havent', 'eaten', 'drank', 'properly', 'day', 'plan', 'die', 'either', 'starvation', 'dehydration', 'problem', 'dont', 'want', 'leave', 'boyfriend', 'heartbroken', 'mean', 'everything', 'used', 'talk', 'getting', 'married', 'family', 'want', 'live', 'painful', 'dont', 'know']
49
['promising', 'life', 'painful', 'living', 'hell', 'mistake', 'became', 'suicide', 'fuel', 'dont', 'know', 'end', 'pain', 'bitch', 'even', 'worse', 'cant', 'stop', 'looking', 'back', 'knowing', 'shouldnt', 'happened', 'knowing', 'wa', 'preventable', 'senseless', 'pure', 'bad', 'luck', 'something', 'sensation', 'cannot', 'take', 'feel', 'horrible', 'handle', 'type', 'injury', 'pain', 'apparently', 'achilles', 'heel', 'would', 'trade', 'almost', 'anything', 'elsei', 'strong', 'enough', 'deal']
51
['today', 'made', 'realise', 'life', 'nothing', 'special', 'year', 'old', 'like', 'million', 'people', 'around', 'world', 'ready', 'take', 'life', 'ready', 'go', 'wish', 'fond', 'farewell', 'hope', 'somehow', 'life', 'get', 'better', 'dont', 'know', 'happen', 'doe', 'want', 'embrace', 'whether', 'first', 'kiss', 'first', 'child', 'even', 'new', 'found', 'happiness', 'embrace', 'please', 'make', 'world', 'better', 'place', 'know', 'cant', 'thati', 'amweak', 'inferior', 'know', 'cani', 'sorry', 'everyone', 'affected', 'death', 'loved', 'hope', 'see', 'soon', 'love']
63
['amout', 'first', 'sry', 'shitty', 'english', 'third', 'languagei', 'lost', 'hope', 'felt', 'happy', 'long', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'time', 'leave', 'earth', 'life', 'never', 'get', 'better', 'might', 'aswell', 'end', 'atleast', 'people', 'still', 'remember', 'saved', 'money', 'thinking', 'going', 'somewhere', 'magical', 'die', 'alone', 'return', 'ticket', 'feel', 'psychological', 'unstable', 'moment', 'going', 'trip', 'alone', 'somewhere', 'warm', 'pieceful', 'alone', 'enjoying', 'best', 'earth', 'going', 'good', 'plan', 'might', 'life', 'never', 'get', 'better', 'sure', 'dont', 'want', 'become', 'lonely', 'loser', 'experienced', 'alot', 'good', 'time', 'old', 'friend', 'dont', 'see', 'anymore', 'family', 'thinking', 'good', 'time', 'leaving', 'think', 'last', 'thought', 'go', 'star', 'whatever', 'space', 'ha', 'always', 'fascinated', 'much', 'good', 'luck', 'everybody', 'ruthless', 'miserable', 'planeti', 'amout']
99
['wrong', 'may', 'may', 'bipolar', 'weird', 'super', 'moment', 'think', 'suicide', 'day', 'happy', 'time', 'irrelevant', 'general', 'dissatisfaction', 'life', 'problem', 'financially', 'anything', 'altgough', 'could', 'argued', 'little', 'bit', 'lethargic', 'passively', 'suicide', 'around', 'year', 'decided', 'perhaps', 'time', 'sissy', 'freshman', 'h', 'desire', 'people', 'also', 'kill', 'effort', 'prevent', 'kid', 'thus', 'conclusion', 'wa', 'something', 'like', 'sepuku', 'lunch', 'hundred', 'would', 'see', 'increase', 'copycat', 'wrong']
55
['want', 'die', 'even', 'though', 'know', 'wont', 'want', 'die', 'wanted', 'say', 'tell', 'someone', 'cant', 'fix', 'problem', 'depression', 'still', 'though', 'brain', 'scared', 'thats']
21
['constant', 'thought', 'suicide', 'dont', 'really', 'want', 'die', 'doe', 'anybody', 'body', 'else', 'think', 'suicide', 'time', 'really', 'want', 'die', 'like', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'get', 'better', 'better', 'dead', 'alot', 'ive', 'always', 'type', 'dont', 'want', 'miss', 'anything', 'mostly', 'like', 'thinking', 'could', 'could', 'easily', 'wont', 'could', 'know', 'someone', 'asked', 'something', 'similar', 'month', 'ago', 'bothering', 'right', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'post', 'sorry']
55
['amsuicidal', 'one', 'belief', 'different', 'last', 'time', 'said', 'youre', 'gonna', 'go', 'kill', 'always', 'threaten', 'kill', 'thing', 'dont', 'go', 'wayill', 'show']
19
['bye', 'world', 'dying', 'peace']
4
['love', 'best', 'thing', 'worst', 'thingsi', 'soon', 'nd', 'october', 'two', 'month', 'ago', 'fiancee', 'broke', 'ive', 'told', 'people', 'trouble', 'go', 'post', 'history', 'get', 'full', 'detail', 'seems', 'getting', 'worse', 'feel', 'really', 'numb', 'lost', 'without', 'wa', 'everything', 'apparently', 'shes', 'got', 'ptsd', 'depression', 'beat', 'several', 'time', 'never', 'meant', 'hurt', 'lost', 'control', 'made', 'stupid', 'mistake', 'regret', 'ive', 'done', 'everyday', 'feel', 'like', 'never', 'cared', 'put', 'post', 'facebook', 'telling', 'everyone', 'ive', 'done', 'broke', 'friend', 'harassing', 'really', 'pushing', 'edge', 'ive', 'tried', 'kill', 'three', 'time', 'amthat', 'pathetic', 'ive', 'failed', 'want', 'back', 'much', 'love', 'dearly', 'dont', 'want', 'hurt', 'family', 'tired', 'pain', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'put', 'position', 'put', 'one', 'wake', 'everyday', 'regretting', 'choice', 'shes', 'made', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'guilty', 'regret', 'dumping', 'dont', 'wanna', 'pain', 'anymore', 'first', 'counselling', 'session', 'th', 'ive', 'stopped', 'taking', 'antidepressant', 'amdrinking', 'nearly', 'every', 'night', 'quit', 'job', 'spend', 'day', 'bed', 'researching', 'way', 'kill', 'made', 'deal', 'doesnt', 'wish', 'happy', 'birthday', 'end', 'night', 'cant', 'one', 'thing', 'know', 'doesnt', 'care', 'might', 'well', 'dead', 'love', 'piece', 'wish', 'didnt', 'way']
155
['giving', 'rd', 'birthday', 'st', 'month', 'amthinking', 'lasti', 'month', 'clean', 'sober', 'ive', 'never', 'miserable', 'company', 'worked', 'went', 'nowi', 'amabout', 'lose', 'everything', 'ive', 'worked', 'past', 'month', 'wont', 'go', 'back', 'drug', 'one', 'fatal', 'dose', 'seems', 'look', 'rather', 'appealing']
35
['dont', 'resolve', 'wish', 'note', 'throwaway', 'accountive', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'year', 'think', 'day', 'day', 'feeling', 'uselessness', 'waste', 'space', 'time', 'energy', 'berating', 'dayin', 'dayout', 'loneliness', 'isolation', 'one', 'care', 'one', 'love', 'whetheri', 'amalive', 'dead', 'wont', 'make', 'difference', 'anyonei', 'amsick', 'iti', 'amsick', 'alli', 'amsick', 'deal', 'pain', 'emotional', 'distress', 'never', 'put', 'thought', 'action', 'never', 'resolve', 'die', 'wish', 'make', 'pain', 'end', 'make', 'pain', 'end']
57
['moast', 'painless', 'way', 'kill', 'roap', 'pill', 'plastic', 'bag', 'gun', 'wa', 'thinking', 'could', 'use', 'time', 'somehow', 'amkinda', 'scaird']
17
['posting', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'anything', 'look', 'forward', 'see', 'nothing', 'cant', 'see', 'future', 'time', 'spend', 'thinking', 'thinking', 'going', 'back', 'time', 'day', 'one', 'changing', 'eveything', 'chaning', 'thing', 'maybe', 'somehow', 'life', 'better', 'everyday', 'go', 'bed', 'pray', 'wake', 'day', 'birth', 'able', 'change', 'everything', 'able', 'better', 'start', 'fresh', 'meet', 'people', 'sooner', 'end', 'pain', 'way', 'end', 'pain', 'fucking', 'kill', 'thing', 'keeping', 'mom', 'know', 'would', 'destroy', 'gave', 'everything', 'still', 'doe', 'everything', 'love', 'feel', 'like', 'cant', 'put', 'pain', 'anymore', 'constant', 'thought', 'back', 'head', 'end', 'wayi', 'set', 'date', 'day', 'bestfriend', 'getting', 'married', 'want', 'see', 'happiest', 'day', 'life', 'want', 'see', 'dont', 'want', 'leave', 'life', 'hasnt', 'gotten', 'better', 'somehow', 'get', 'worse', 'time', 'next', 'day', 'ha', 'end', 'said', 'would', 'wait', 'untill', 'wa', 'cant', 'fathom', 'living', 'much', 'pain', 'long', 'everyday', 'struggle', 'wake', 'want', 'nothing', 'honestly', 'done', 'think', 'thing', 'cant', 'control', 'thing', 'bad', 'drink', 'constantly', 'worry', 'stuggles', 'cant', 'control', 'get', 'attached', 'people', 'leave', 'cant', 'see', 'shut', 'consume', 'thought', 'day', 'wake', 'feel', 'like', 'take', 'world', 'get', 'excited', 'living', 'thing', 'enjoy', 'seeing', 'people', 'love', 'around', 'bam', 'without', 'warning', 'want', 'fucking', 'kill', 'feeling', 'ever', 'felt', 'worse', 'feel', 'good', 'feel', 'like', 'everything', 'okay', 'ripped', 'away', 'sending', 'back', 'endless', 'abyss', 'know', 'well', 'want']
184
['final', 'statement', 'hi', 'wanted', 'look', 'support', 'right', 'working', 'hour', 'week', 'day', 'week', 'job', 'flight', 'instructing', 'really', 'tired', 'physically', 'emotionally', 'mentally', 'give', 'everyday', 'give', 'student', 'customer', 'best', 'service', 'education', 'provide', 'finishing', 'college', 'need', 'vacation', 'going', 'lose', 'fucking', 'mind', 'arrange', 'time', 'need', 'week', 'collect', 'taken', 'vacation', 'year', 'need', 'stopi', 'received', 'news', 'university', 'today', 'loan', 'payment', 'would', 'increased', 'scrambling', 'fix', 'issue', 'honestly', 'think', 'really', 'going', 'turn', 'treadmill', 'nonstop', 'issue', 'financial', 'problem', 'going', 'continuously', 'fix', 'honestly', 'time', 'kill', 'hope']
75
['feel', 'tired', 'poetry', 'selfimportance', 'rhyme', 'music', 'trivial', 'infantile', 'story', 'unreadable', 'painting', 'disgusting', 'mockery', 'better', 'artistsi', 'good', 'business', 'cant', 'manage', 'anything', 'effectively', 'lazy', 'impossibly', 'slow', 'working', 'alli', 'fit', 'making', 'money', 'creative', 'lifei', 'feel', 'like', 'purgatory', 'worked', 'hard', 'escape', 'came', 'fight', 'average', 'reward', 'luck', 'ha', 'afforded', 'mediocrity', 'mediocrity', 'talentless', 'worse', 'death', 'watching', 'diei', 'tired', 'waking', 'like', 'want', 'done', 'want', 'wash', 'hand', 'world', 'equally', 'mediocre', 'way', 'world', 'take', 'advantage', 'dont', 'want', 'anything']
69
['dont', 'know', 'fix', 'dont', 'understand', 'therapy', 'anything', 'thats', 'supposed', 'help', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'seem', 'anything', 'life', 'anymore', 'take', 'care', 'therapy', 'trying', 'psychiatrist', 'dont', 'feel', 'helping', 'dont', 'know', 'understand', 'therapy', 'supposed', 'help', 'actually', 'apply', 'life', 'outside', 'session', 'dont', 'understand', 'ive', 'trying', 'year', 'dont', 'feeli', 'amgetting', 'better', 'anything', 'getting', 'worsei', 'ampanicking', 'right', 'sincei', 'amfeeling', 'end', 'rope', 'go', 'dont', 'think', 'make', 'effort', 'life', 'anymore', 'even', 'picking', 'small', 'piece', 'trash', 'apartment', 'beyond', 'supposed', 'figure', 'take', 'thing', 'therapy', 'apply', 'outside', 'session', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'feel', 'anything']
81
['know', 'never', 'coming', 'back', 'almost', 'two', 'month', 'since', 'left', 'left', 'lonely', 'every', 'day', 'pass', 'hard', 'living', 'without', 'know', 'never', 'coming', 'back', 'future', 'shatter', 'million', 'piece', 'day', 'lefti', 'amnever', 'going', 'see', 'againi', 'amnever', 'going', 'hear', 'voice', 'feel', 'touchi', 'going', 'crazy', 'without', 'chance', 'go', 'back', 'time', 'would', 'hold', 'tight', 'never', 'let', 'go', 'late', 'never', 'understand', 'death', 'love', 'god', 'let', 'happen', 'left', 'heart', 'broken', 'everything', 'wish', 'could', 'die', 'hard', 'living', 'without']
68
['divorce', 'hard', 'soi', 'going', 'divorce', 'dont', 'want', 'girl', 'dream', 'admits', 'could', 'fix', 'wanted', 'wa', 'terrible', 'person', 'didnt', 'cheat', 'abuse', 'terrible', 'husband', 'nonetheless', 'month', 'left', 'breaking', 'commitment', 'even', 'though', 'never', 'broke', 'mine', 'thing', 'think', 'til', 'death', 'u', 'part', 'know', 'never', 'meet', 'somebody', 'wonderful', 'gave', 'world', 'squandered', 'wa', 'idiot', 'right', 'know', 'need', 'something', 'save', 'late', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'cant', 'live', 'wife', 'dont', 'want', 'sign', 'paper', 'break', 'commitment', 'told', 'saturday', 'havent', 'done', 'paper', 'back', 'month', 'ago', 'held', 'head', 'wa', 'severely', 'unlucky', 'federal', 'doesnt', 'generally', 'make', 'dudssomeone', 'help']
84
['need', 'help', 'immediatelyi', 'amon', 'min', 'time', 'forum', 'man', 'ha', 'said']
10
['need', 'help', 'like', 'girl', 'asshole', 'friend', 'like', 'trying', 'get', 'think', 'might', 'commit', 'suicide', 'get', 'hand']
15
['suicide', 'prevention', 'hotline', 'online', 'ims', 'talk', 'actually', 'helped', 'anyone', 'trouble', 'online', 'chat', 'phone', 'call', 'better', 'hoped', 'called', 'told', 'longer', 'felt', 'like', 'suicide', 'wa', 'option', 'talked', 'little', 'thing', 'big', 'thing', 'really', 'felt', 'indifferent', 'first', 'minute', 'talking', 'wa', 'really', 'nice', 'get', 'supportive', 'attention', 'like', 'said', 'called', 'check', 'called', 'probably', 'week', 'every', 'two', 'week', 'told', 'didnt', 'feel', 'suicidal', 'anymore', 'yes', 'theyve', 'helped', 'always', 'remember']
61
['suicide', 'rational', 'choice', 'hi', 'anonymous', 'crowdrecently', 'contemplating', 'suicide', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'thought', 'becoming', 'harder', 'dispel', 'therefore', 'wanted', 'ask', 'guy', 'thought', 'considerationsi', 'dont', 'think', 'ever', 'find', 'job', 'based', 'past', 'experience', 'colleauges', 'boss', 'dont', 'get', 'along', 'cant', 'stand', 'around', 'also', 'socially', 'awkward', 'dont', 'like', 'around', 'people', 'unless', 'really', 'close', 'currently', 'student', 'failing', 'course', 'depressed', 'cant', 'help', 'feel', 'desperate', 'conclusion', 'unfit', 'life', 'cannot', 'support', 'hate', 'thought', 'financially', 'dependent', 'mother', 'girlfriend', 'dont', 'society', 'rest', 'life', 'think', 'end', 'rational', 'solution', 'med', 'dont', 'work', 'therapy', 'doesnt', 'work', 'either', 'even', 'better', 'future', 'recur', 'always', 'ha', 'whatever', 'engaged', 'point', 'collapse', 'cannot', 'achieve', 'anything', 'unreliable', 'due', 'mental', 'instability', 'real', 'problem', 'killing', 'grief', 'would', 'bring', 'upon', 'family', 'people', 'care', 'stay', 'alive', 'eke', 'living', 'avoid', 'aggrieving', 'themi', 'sure', 'maybe', 'convince', 'way', 'best', 'thing', 'long', 'run', 'dont', 'wanna', 'whine', 'horrible', 'feel', 'depression', 'destroys', 'life', 'interested', 'pragmatic', 'approach', 'dealing', 'since', 'tried', 'med', 'therapy', 'dont', 'believe', 'anymore', 'ha', 'never', 'helped', 'wanna', 'live', 'like', 'forever', 'unworthy', 'pointless', 'burden', 'society', 'unacceptable', 'dont', 'wanna', 'stick', 'around', 'feel', 'worthless', 'failed', 'next', 'question', 'would', 'guess', 'first', 'thing', 'first', 'considering', 'cure', 'burden', 'wouldnt', 'reasonable', 'end', 'let', 'know', 'think', 'thanks', 'max']
180
['really', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'amdoin', 'ive', 'depressed', 'year', 'sadness', 'come', 'go', 'longer', 'control', 'ive', 'cry', 'several', 'hour', 'feel', 'alone', 'couple', 'hour', 'ago', 'put', 'belt', 'neck', 'pressed', 'obviously', 'found', 'asking', 'took', 'offi', 'trying', 'really', 'keep', 'feel', 'daysi', 'amjust', 'gonna', 'hung', 'without', 'even', 'noticing', 'like', 'happened', 'dont', 'know', 'talk', 'feel', 'lonelyi', 'amgonna', 'die', 'loneliness']
52
['day', 'harder', 'others', 'still', 'end', 'life', 'ha', 'always', 'rough', 'day', 'turned', 'stepdad', 'started', 'drinking', 'couldnt', 'smoke', 'anymore', 'day', 'still', 'feel', 'like', 'future', 'bleak', 'empty', 'try', 'stay', 'strong', 'wa', 'raised', 'soldier', 'know', 'made', 'lot', 'bad', 'decision', 'lifei', 'still', 'live', 'taking', 'long', 'amunable', 'afford', 'move', 'wa', 'made', 'drop', 'schoolor', 'might', 'well', 'went', 'enough', 'avoid', 'truency', 'pay', 'rent', 'sell', 'selling', 'drug', 'started', 'path', 'towards', 'death', 'prison', 'selled', 'lot', 'died', 'one', 'time', 'overdosed', 'quit', 'everything', 'day', 'found', 'wa', 'going', 'father', 'tried', 'get', 'job', 'year', 'relentlessly', 'eventually', 'mother', 'left', 'moved', 'guy', 'met', 'online', 'taking', 'daughter', 'alongshes', 'still', 'unemployed', 'day', 'finally', 'last', 'year', 'got', 'dishwashing', 'job', 'ive', 'holding', 'ive', 'trying', 'hard', 'little', 'sit', 'room', 'hating', 'fact', 'still', 'live', 'little', 'accomplished', 'hate', 'type', 'cry', 'beating', 'mother', 'knowing', 'cant', 'call', 'cop', 'every', 'fucking', 'time', 'never', 'arrest', 'get', 'hit', 'hate', 'cant', 'anything', 'ive', 'switched', 'much', 'self', 'medication', 'mindful', 'meditation', 'lack', 'attention', 'make', 'difficult', 'hate', 'feeling', 'thati', 'going', 'anywhere', 'hate', 'noone', 'talk', 'friend', 'tell', 'theyre', 'sorry', 'dont', 'deserve', 'love', 'dearly', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'quit', 'like', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'like', 'world', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'mei', 'sickness', 'nothing', 'feel', 'right', 'pain', 'inside', 'hoping', 'someday', 'soon', 'die', 'accident', 'itd', 'travesty', 'unlike', 'suicide', 'wich', 'free', 'sympathy', 'ride', 'parent', 'dont', 'care', 'right', 'thing', 'long', 'got', 'money', 'coming', 'likei', 'trying', 'best', 'wa', 'raised', 'criminial', 'livin', 'civil', 'world', 'surreal', 'word', 'cant', 'fucking', 'take', 'iti', 'ampaitently', 'waiting', 'day', 'say', 'faulti', 'didnt', 'wake']
222
['dont', 'deserve', 'attention', 'hope', 'post', 'help', 'others', 'aspergersi', 'currently', 'living', 'exwifes', 'apartment', 'filed', 'divorce', 'get', 'dissolution', 'tell', 'agrees', 'take', 'debt', 'additionally', 'agree', 'split', 'stuff', 'amicably', 'get', 'kitchen', 'stuff', 'get', 'computer', 'stuff', 'dont', 'much', 'except', 'debt', 'mind', 'brought', 'k', 'relationship', 'coming', 'k', 'paid', 'get', 'year', 'degree', 'hip', 'reconstruction', 'followed', 'total', 'hip', 'replacement', 'living', 'apartment', 'name', 'lease', 'tell', 'sorry', 'never', 'married', 'never', 'loved', 'lover', 'ha', 'mistake', 'time', 'moved', 'home', 'state', 'oh', 'friend', 'family', 'enroll', 'school', 'get', 'gi', 'certification', 'b', 'geology', 'pay', 'tried', 'many', 'time', 'going', 'interview', 'never', 'heard', 'back', 'know', 'good', 'grade', 'school', 'tell', 'know', 'suck', 'interview', 'served', 'u', 'navy', 'u', 'army', 'honor', 'currently', 'working', 'veteran', 'affair', 'medication', 'housing', 'homelessi', 'feel', 'lot', 'value', 'lot', 'skill', 'one', 'want', 'havent', 'told', 'family', 'think', 'would', 'considered', 'outcasttonight', 'refuse', 'look', 'drug', 'interaction', 'taking', 'clonazepam', 'alcohol', 'lunesta', 'ambien', 'seroquel', 'god', 'bless', 'everyone', 'world', 'suck']
137
['sure', 'theyre', 'going', 'okay', 'wheni', 'amgone', 'many', 'friend', 'suicidal', 'well', 'amafraid', 'leaving', 'might', 'last', 'thing', 'needed', 'push', 'edgei', 'going', 'killing', 'either', 'way', 'want', 'sort', 'solace', 'fact', 'know', 'theyll', 'safe', 'wheni', 'amgone', 'step', 'take', 'leading', 'deed', 'ensure', 'least', 'increase', 'likelihood', 'theyd', 'okay']
41
['dont', 'even', 'care', 'getting', 'better', 'honestly', 'given', 'trying', 'get', 'better', 'wa', 'taken', 'inpatient', 'month', 'ago', 'wa', 'day', 'gave', 'med', 'set', 'appointment', 'counselor', 'missed', 'appointment', 'next', 'available', 'one', 'isnt', 'end', 'november', 'med', 'dont', 'seem', 'working', 'regular', 'doctor', 'doesnt', 'want', 'switch', 'ha', 'given', 'referral', 'see', 'psychiatrist', 'seems', 'likei', 'amready', 'die', 'right', 'could', 'get', 'help', 'next', 'week', 'could', 'get', 'better', 'canti', 'amdone', 'waiting', 'ready', 'kick', 'bucket']
63
['failure', 'pain', 'one', 'day', 'wa', 'normal', 'teen', 'chronically', 'suffer', 'risk', 'wanting', 'death', 'choice', 'made', 'thing', 'hold', 'back', 'fear', 'death', 'hope', 'find', 'help', 'cry', 'plea', 'realization', 'need', 'help', 'right', 'wrist', 'bleeding', 'shirt', 'bloody', 'tear', 'stopped', 'want', 'talk', 'cared', 'coworkers', 'joke', 'death', 'dont', 'care', 'anymore', 'hurt', 'care']
45
['please', 'somebody', 'tell', 'throw', 'dorm', 'windowi', 'amconstantly', 'surrounded', 'people', 'yet', 'feel', 'alone', 'depression', 'first', 'started', 'feel', 'ignored', 'feel', 'like', 'way', 'get', 'people', 'notice', 'something', 'drasticplease', 'somebody', 'tell']
27
['need', 'mental', 'help', 'exhausted', 'want', 'betterim', 'sorry', 'rambling', 'cry', 'bubbling', 'mess', 'sad', 'hope', 'rest', 'guy', 'well', 'thanks', 'reading', 'skimming', 'heap', 'garbage', 'sorry', 'typo', 'error']
24
['suicide', 'family', 'taking', 'antidepressant', 'year', 'last', 'week', 'brother', 'severe', 'learning', 'disability', 'hung', 'kitchen', 'really', 'struck', 'chord', 'attempted', 'hanging', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'one', 'walked', 'room', 'despite', 'older', 'brother', 'child', 'like', 'innocence', 'rescued', 'mei', 'idea', 'felt', 'way', 'emotional', 'wreck', 'ever', 'since', 'dont', 'know', 'happy', 'knowing', 'despite', 'demeanor', 'wa', 'point', 'thing', 'stopping', 'ending', 'brother', 'death', 'put', 'parent', 'girlfriend', 'doesnt', 'deserve', 'put', 'quit', 'job', 'tonight', 'full', 'mental', 'collapsei', 'dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'amputting', 'cry', 'help', 'anonymous', 'message', 'board', 'scared', 'without', 'direction']
76
['god', 'wanna', 'fucking', 'jump', 'front', 'bus', 'completely', 'hate', 'fucking', 'life', 'hate', 'every', 'momenti', 'amawake', 'barely', 'friend', 'woman', 'disgusted', 'fucking', 'hate', 'truly', 'fucking', 'end', 'like', 'maybe', 'usually', 'dangerously', 'close', 'suicide', 'act', 'drunk', 'suicidal', 'joy', 'yet', 'another', 'girl', 'fucking', 'shot', 'fuckin', 'white', 'dude', 'friend', 'upset', 'leap', 'front', 'fucking', 'bus', 'die']
48
['day', 'numbered', 'already', 'making', 'goodbye', 'gift', 'already', 'gave', 'thing', 'away', 'year', 'hell', 'made', 'give', 'best', 'friend', 'cant', 'live', 'without', 'personi', 'ama', 'toxic', 'parasitic', 'person', 'changing', 'ive', 'tried', 'always', 'end', 'failure', 'medication', 'doesnt', 'help', 'friend', 'doesnt', 'help', 'day', 'numbered', 'matter']
39
['cant', 'stop', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'need', 'someone', 'talk', 'got', 'plan', 'date', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'tell', 'someone', 'thing', 'tell', 'anyone', 'real', 'world', 'ruin', 'chance', 'ever', 'put', 'hospital']
25
['passive', 'dont', 'want', 'kill', 'right', 'want', 'die', 'made', 'big', 'mistake', 'need', 'make', 'right', 'amat', 'dead', 'end', 'every', 'time', 'fix', 'something', 'fuck', 'carry', 'much', 'guilt', 'much', 'hatred', 'dont', 'know', 'hard', 'live', 'hurt', 'much', 'dont', 'solution', 'painful']
35
['missed', 'chance', 'happiness', 'wa', 'going', 'type', 'shit', 'really', 'caresi', 'amdone']
10
['content', 'suicide', 'note', 'say', 'make', 'happiest', 'truth']
7
['kid', 'arent', 'meant', 'feel', 'like', 'year', 'ago', 'got', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'destroyed', 'note', 'felt', 'lot', 'better', 'got', 'outgoing', 'made', 'new', 'friend', 'reconnected', 'old', 'onesbut', 'theyve', 'come', 'back', 'mixture', 'severe', 'dysphoria', 'dad', 'dad', 'probably', 'main', 'reason', 'always', 'blame', 'thing', 'tell', 'talk', 'doesnt', 'anything', 'tell', 'mei', 'amoverreacting', 'cant', 'bad', 'ect', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'get', 'better', 'ive', 'tried', 'counselling', 'online', 'chat', 'helplines', 'everything', 'think', 'oftheres', 'people', 'think', 'would', 'care', 'death', 'theyre', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'thing', 'holding', 'back', 'killing', 'probably', 'wouldnt', 'able', 'get', 'right', 'material', 'read', 'way', 'thanks', 'thanks', 'taking', 'time', 'day', 'hear', 'year', 'old', 'kid', 'scream', 'abyss']
93
['cant', 'kill', 'wanna', 'die', 'much', 'coward', 'itstuck', 'posting', 'shitty', 'website']
10
['dont', 'know', 'feel', 'lately', 'hearing', 'uni', 'talk', 'future', 'new', 'friend', 'blah', 'blah', 'blah', 'feel', 'like', 'accomplish', 'life', 'psychologist', 'psychiatrist', 'parent', 'tutor', 'high', 'hope', 'feel', 'like', 'disappoint', 'even', 'worst', 'disappoint', 'anyway', 'anxiety', 'ha', 'increased', 'last', 'month', 'ha', 'reminded', 'used', 'two', 'year', 'ago', 'dont', 'want', 'like', 'feeling', 'like', 'made', 'want', 'kill', 'got', 'medication', 'anxiety', 'sadly', 'doesnt', 'help', 'mental', 'aspect', 'stop', 'physical', 'aspect', 'anxiety', 'supposed', 'help', 'exam', 'concentration', 'today', 'took', 'felt', 'weird', 'head', 'wa', 'messed', 'body', 'wa', 'numb', 'didnt', 'like', 'feeling', 'felt', 'wrong', 'wa', 'lost', 'dead', 'rest', 'school', 'day', 'thought', 'would', 'help', 'rather', 'take', 'something', 'shut', 'head', 'dont', 'know', 'point', 'post', 'dont', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'talking', 'friend', 'family', 'school', 'nearly', 'start', 'uni', 'taking', 'medication', 'exam', 'finished', 'whole', 'family', 'think', 'either', 'faking', 'feel', 'phase', 'life', 'everything', 'coming', 'end', 'feel', 'confused', 'lost', 'everything', 'seems', 'pointless', 'dont', 'know', 'point', 'point', 'sorry', 'wasting', 'anyones', 'time']
137
['today', 'found', 'id', 'laid', 'today', 'supervisor', 'told', 'last', 'day', 'work', 'sept', 'amsuper', 'right', 'wanna', 'hang', 'dont', 'know', 'put', 'word', 'whati', 'amfeeling', 'ugghh', 'disappointed', 'dunno', 'wa', 'far', 'best', 'job', 'ive', 'hadi', 'feel', 'tired', 'right', 'dont', 'know', 'thinking', 'debt', 'everything', 'dont', 'know', 'wanna', 'choke', 'self', 'death']
44
['unexplained', 'sadness', 'depression', 'battling', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'several', 'year', 'reason', 'feel', 'like', 'great', 'marriage', 'year', 'great', 'kid', 'good', 'job', 'low', 'stress', 'take', 'med', 'see', 'dr', 'regular', 'basisi', 'cant', 'seem', 'shake', 'unhappiness', 'changed', 'job', 'time', 'since', 'blaming', 'work', 'know', 'cant', 'work', 'mei', 'dont', 'know', 'hospitalized', 'twice', 'last', 'year', 'dont', 'feel', 'helped', 'made', 'feel', 'like', 'criminal', 'get', 'released', 'insurance', 'stop', 'payingjust', 'accepting', 'fact', 'thati', 'going', 'happy', 'doesnt', 'sound', 'like', 'option']
67
['real', 'talk', 'suicidal', 'wa', 'country', 'world', 'everyone', 'spoke', 'weird', 'language', 'nobody', 'spoke', 'language', 'wa', 'way', 'learn', 'nobody', 'could', 'ever', 'understand', 'hand', 'movement', 'something', 'people', 'would', 'get', 'annoyed', 'fast', 'every', 'single', 'one', 'people', 'supported', 'something', 'outrageous', 'could', 'never', 'support', 'something', 'totally', 'insane', 'like', 'wearing', 'symbol', 'representing', 'view', 'completely', 'didnt', 'agree', 'would', 'move', 'away', 'given', 'opportunity', 'someone', 'brought', 'airplane', 'take', 'country', 'said', 'could', 'never', 'return', 'needed', 'get', 'airplane', 'wa', 'draw', 'bit', 'blood', 'would', 'leavei', 'amasking', 'feel', 'way', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'complete', 'outcast', 'dont', 'view', 'society', 'deems', 'normal', 'acceptable', 'anything', 'outrageous', 'case']
89
['cant', 'conceive', 'get', 'better', 'looking', 'outside', 'life', 'might', 'seem', 'pretty', 'good', 'constantly', 'worrying', 'future', 'couple', 'year', 'ago', 'started', 'business', 'two', 'friend', 'never', 'anxious', 'worried', 'made', 'huge', 'mistakei', 'risked', 'everything', 'wife', 'worked', 'last', 'year', 'dont', 'think', 'keep', 'feel', 'like', 'everybody', 'would', 'better', 'wa', 'gone', 'feel', 'like', 'failure', 'amletting', 'everybody', 'downi', 'want', 'endless', 'merry', 'go', 'round', 'end']
55
['perfectly', 'normal', 'get', 'suicidal', 'misplace', 'wallet', 'attach', 'rope', 'chin', 'bar', 'right', 'fucking', 'day']
13
['amunsure', 'feel', 'like', 'tonight', 'might', 'night', 'ori', 'really', 'close', 'prescription', 'pill', 'severe', 'interaction', 'enough', 'seems', 'cant', 'take', 'little', 'bunch', 'day', 'already', 'taking', 'small', 'bunch', 'didnt', 'anything', 'need', 'either', 'take', 'none', 'still', 'feel', 'unsure', 'feel', 'crisis', 'level', 'slowly', 'wavering', 'upward']
39
['something', 'thought', 'night', 'couldnt', 'ever', 'put', 'feeling', 'word', 'wa', 'younger', 'around', 'wrote', 'something', 'think', 'honestly', 'conveys', 'feelsuicidewant', 'problem', 'go', 'awaywant', 'never', 'happen', 'againmake', 'sure', 'never', 'feel', 'like']
27
['selfish', 'narcissist', 'really', 'worth', 'much', 'effort', 'thinking', 'since', 'one', 'care', 'including', 'fade', 'away', 'nothingness', 'either', 'die', 'od', 'get', 'hooked', 'hard', 'drug', 'either', 'way', 'win', 'everyone', 'else', 'wont', 'bothered', 'anymore', 'maybe', 'people', 'find', 'maybe', 'wont', 'either', 'way', 'tired', 'trying', 'save', 'tired', 'asking', 'help', 'saving', 'get', 'ignored', 'passed', 'getting', 'good', 'thing', 'end', 'completely', 'fucking', 'know', 'reddit', 'short', 'enjoyed', 'people', 'nice', 'meet', 'catsthank', 'listening', 'fellow', 'redditors']
63
['one', 'recently', 'started', 'college', 'month', 'ago', 'time', 'made', 'friend', 'dont', 'know', 'ive', 'even', 'talked', 'someone', 'except', 'thank', 'someone', 'holding', 'open', 'door', 'two', 'friend', 'high', 'school', 'dont', 'text', 'anymore', 'parent', 'seem', 'like', 'theyre', 'bothered', 'annoyed', 'call', 'rather', 'pleased', 'want', 'talk', 'literally', 'one', 'came', 'realization', 'kill', 'room', 'literally', 'one', 'would', 'know', 'end', 'year', 'come', 'check', 'thati', 'ammoved', 'room', 'hard', 'join', 'club', 'talk', 'someone', 'even', 'thought', 'human', 'interaction', 'terrifies', 'sends', 'panic', 'attack', 'wish', 'could', 'end', 'could', 'new', 'brain', 'made', 'thing', 'easier', 'honestly', 'dont', 'know']
81
['keep', 'going', 'everything', 'fall', 'apart', 'hope', 'one', 'step', 'one', 'day', 'time', 'taking', 'every', 'breath', 'deep', 'slow']
16
['passively', 'suicidal', 'really', 'value', 'life', 'believe', 'anything', 'wrong', 'suicide', 'believe', 'afterlife', 'said', 'actively', 'suicidal', 'sometimes', 'feel', 'better', 'dead', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'feel', 'like', 'burden', 'others', 'time', 'ex', 'broke', 'handle', 'willness', 'mostly', 'want', 'live', 'willness', 'present', 'many', 'challenge', 'mostly', 'relationship', 'huge', 'problem', 'since', 'always', 'wanted', 'get', 'married', 'child', 'mention', 'could', 'pas', 'willness', 'child', 'oh', 'god', 'rather', 'live']
55
['floating', 'timei', 'tired', 'feel', 'likei', 'going', 'motion', 'fucki', 'amjust', 'done', 'everything', 'want', 'crawl', 'hole', 'never', 'come', 'fuck', 'id', 'promise', 'id', 'social', 'amdone', 'likei', 'tired', 'feeling', 'anything', 'keep', 'trying', 'workingim', 'tired', 'stuck', 'like', 'dammit', 'floating', 'life', 'basically', 'purpose', 'even', 'ive', 'lost', 'motivation', 'long', 'ago', 'forget', 'like', 'feeli', 'dont', 'want', 'drag', 'anyone', 'seriously', 'feel', 'likei', 'amout', 'option', 'hope', 'rest', 'better', 'night', 'may', 'soon', 'enough']
62
['cant', 'go', 'anymore', 'tired', 'life', 'try', 'everything', 'fix', 'life', 'nothing', 'work', 'ive', 'lost', 'hope', 'cry', 'help', 'give']
17
['met', 'someone', 'met', 'someone', 'someone', 'make', 'feel', 'something', 'dread', 'guilt', 'mean', 'well', 'want', 'help', 'day', 'dont', 'want', 'let', 'somethings', 'telling', 'shouldnt', 'something', 'else', 'telling', 'shouldi', 'dont', 'know']
27
['amworried', 'stay', 'much', 'longer', 'might', 'kill', 'helloi', 'really', 'even', 'sure', 'whyi', 'ammaking', 'post', 'need', 'say', 'someone', 'cant', 'say', 'anyone', 'else', 'moved', 'midwest', 'took', 'job', 'hate', 'terrible', 'boyfriend', 'since', 'broken', 'wa', 'kind', 'person', 'thought', 'depression', 'wa', 'kind', 'character', 'flaw', 'pretended', 'lot', 'around', 'well', 'great', 'terrible', 'thing', 'broken', 'longer', 'pretend', 'depressed', 'rarely', 'eat', 'unless', 'someone', 'watching', 'eat', 'later', 'monotonous', 'dish', 'sink', 'like', 'week', 'carpet', 'mostly', 'dog', 'hair', 'cant', 'concentrate', 'work', 'useless', 'stupid', 'becausei', 'amdepressed', 'job', 'objectively', 'stupid', 'uselessi', 'amhaving', 'really', 'hard', 'time', 'snapping', 'coworkers', 'one', 'friend', 'hour', 'radius', 'go', 'episode', 'every', 'couple', 'week', 'absolutely', 'hate', 'hated', 'since', 'got', 'feel', 'like', 'shouldnt', 'burn', 'life', 'ground', 'fit', 'leave', 'without', 'lining', 'job', 'good', 'plan', 'plan', 'work', 'slow', 'going', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'hang', 'feel', 'dramatic', 'say', 'true', 'depressive', 'episode', 'way', 'work', 'overcome', 'urge', 'drive', 'tree', 'guard', 'rail', 'sometimes', 'white', 'knuckle', 'steering', 'wheel', 'make', 'sure', 'dont', 'open', 'door', 'work', 'someone', 'say', 'good', 'morning', 'like', 'thats', 'going', 'head', 'screaming', 'want', 'run', 'bridge', 'know', 'ridiculous', 'past', 'couple', 'week', 'thinking', 'dying', 'death', 'suicide', 'usually', 'depressive', 'episode', 'need', 'move', 'back', 'home', 'statei', 'amafraid', 'isolated', 'really', 'really', 'hate', 'genuinely', 'think', 'lot', 'happier', 'get', 'amafraid', 'might', 'something', 'terrible', 'moment', 'insanity', 'meantime', 'like', 'day', 'brain', 'jam', 'get', 'really', 'upset', 'everything', 'going', 'around', 'think', 'kill', 'fight', 'urge', 'pass', 'like', 'throwing', 'something', 'strange', 'anyway', 'thank', 'listening', 'ramble', 'feel', 'lot', 'better', 'getting', 'chest']
217
['dont', 'feel', 'good', 'right', 'hi', 'sorry', 'bad', 'englishi', 'year', 'old', 'virgin', 'friend', 'gone', 'country', 'school', 'still', 'live', 'parent', 'basement', 'help', 'sick', 'father', 'struggle', 'university', 'job', 'icant', 'say', 'thati', 'amhappy', 'dont', 'know', 'make', 'feel', 'hopeless', 'lonely', 'life', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'part', 'anymore', 'oh', 'btwi', 'amcurrently', 'seeing', 'psy', 'doent', 'help', 'much', 'honest']
50
['live', 'demented', 'brain', 'shouldnt', 'kill', 'nothing', 'offer', 'got', 'back', 'doctor', 'office', 'found', 'likely', 'cte', 'neuropsych', 'testi', 'memory', 'score', 'bottom', 'categoriesi', 'wa', 'gifted', 'student', 'elementary', 'school', 'graduated', 'top', 'university', 'year', 'football', 'played', 'since', 'wa', 'continued', 'playing', 'collegiate', 'level', 'last', 'concussion', 'knocked', 'wa', 'final', 'blowwhy', 'keep', 'going', 'doctor', 'told', 'ama', 'candidate', 'full', 'blown', 'dementia', 'nursing', 'home', 'point', 'ifi', 'already', 'dead', 'dont', 'see', 'point', 'life']
62
['bought', 'rope', 'rope', 'thin', 'though', 'long', 'could', 'cut', 'piece', 'braid', 'iti', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'whyi', 'amposting', 'waste', 'time']
18
['cheeking', 'swallowing', 'pill', 'psyc', 'wardi', 'amcurious', 'everyones', 'thought', 'obviously', 'getting', 'drugged', 'awful', 'nobody', 'worry', 'thatregarding', 'forced', 'medication', 'though', 'way', 'ensure', 'take', 'crazy', 'pill', 'nurse', 'really', 'care', 'much', 'worst', 'case', 'scenario', 'catch', 'hiding', 'pill', 'spit', 'wind', 'taking', 'pill', 'anyway', 'dont', 'see', 'patient', 'wouldnt', 'try', 'first', 'really', 'medicatedthoughts']
46
['anyone', 'need', 'friend', 'quite', 'lonely', 'depressed', 'day', 'friend', 'doesnt', 'want', 'friend', 'anymore', 'disappeared', 'life', 'even', 'said', 'love']
17
['cant', 'live', 'hate', 'much', 'even', 'anything', 'person', 'character', 'complete', 'opposite', 'admire', 'physically', 'cannot', 'even', 'change', 'iti', 'amshy', 'polite', 'modest', 'idealistic', 'sensitive', 'horrible', 'giving', 'receiving', 'criticism', 'ambition', 'truly', 'believed', 'could', 'change', 'become', 'someone', 'strong', 'confident', 'leader', 'passionate', 'creative', 'control', 'fulfilled', 'happy', 'desperately', 'trying', 'become', 'someonei', 'year', 'truly', 'heartbreaking', 'cant', 'accept', 'way', 'naturally', 'nothing', 'admire', 'cant', 'accept', 'cant', 'change', 'pain', 'unrelenting', 'ive', 'long', 'remember', 'ive', 'stayed', 'alive', 'hope', 'change', 'go', 'away', 'know', 'going', 'go', 'away', 'please', 'help']
75
['wondering', 'going', 'worth', 'iti', 'ambehind', 'bill', 'cant', 'support', 'people', 'care', 'way', 'matterevery', 'month', 'credit', 'card', 'debt', 'increase', 'bill', 'get', 'little', 'later', 'especially', 'debt', 'bill', 'chose', 'try', 'save', 'year', 'ago', 'suicide', 'following', 'dream', 'picking', 'photography', 'ha', 'come', 'back', 'form', 'debt', 'cannot', 'meet', 'havent', 'job', 'interview', 'since', 'april', 'despite', 'told', 'strong', 'resume', 'decade', 'work', 'experience', 'havent', 'able', 'get', 'decent', 'raise', 'consistent', 'hour', 'cant', 'go', 'back', 'home', 'south', 'id', 'run', 'gas', 'money', 'made', 'quarter', 'way', 'back', 'across', 'u', 'id', 'financial', 'burden', 'family', 'job', 'prospect', 'bleak', 'even', 'got', 'job', 'degree', 'pay', 'shit', 'id', 'still', 'need', 'job', 'thats', 'irrelevant', 'cant', 'afford', 'teaching', 'certification', 'heremoving', 'back', 'south', 'option', 'political', 'reason', 'staying', 'u', 'becoming', 'increasingly', 'untenablei', 'lgbtq', 'individual', 'current', 'political', 'social', 'climate', 'feel', 'like', 'getting', 'worse', 'worse', 'worse', 'look', 'news', 'every', 'day', 'law', 'restriction', 'court', 'case', 'going', 'u', 'look', 'family', 'member', 'basically', 'telling', 'accept', 'glad', 'worse', 'friend', 'breaking', 'daily', 'trans', 'criminal', 'point', 'federal', 'state', 'government', 'cant', 'emotionally', 'bear', 'anymore', 'closet', 'almost', 'killed', 'cant', 'id', 'rather', 'diei', 'know', 'family', 'would', 'miss', 'havent', 'seen', 'three', 'month', 'talk', 'occasionally', 'know', 'girlfriend', 'partner', 'would', 'miss', 'also', 'know', 'sentence', 'temporary', 'would', 'pas', 'honestly', 'finding', 'harder', 'harder', 'find', 'reason', 'go', 'financial', 'social', 'situation', 'seem', 'hope', 'sight', 'point']
194
['ever', 'feel', 'like', 'beneath', 'suicide', 'nobody', 'would', 'care', 'aside', 'closest', 'familyfriends', 'theyd', 'probably', 'care', 'felt', 'like', 'sooner', 'later', 'theyd', 'realize', 'theyre', 'much', 'better', 'without', 'youre', 'obvious', 'failure', 'everyone', 'know', 'tangentially', 'would', 'give', 'half', 'shit', 'maybe', 'theyd', 'even', 'slightly', 'impressed', 'finally', 'done', 'worthless', 'self', 'think', 'youre', 'laughing', 'stock', 'maybe', 'theyd', 'see', 'human', 'capable', 'emotion', 'killed', 'theyd', 'see', 'youve', 'ever', 'offered', 'fact', 'cant', 'control', 'image', 'legacy', 'beyond', 'grave', 'scare', 'much', 'cant', 'even', 'bring', 'end', 'dont', 'want', 'guy', 'killed', 'really', 'truly', 'want', 'die', 'fantasize', 'died', 'childhood', 'accident', 'ever', 'proved', 'worthlessness', 'person', 'maybe', 'people', 'wouldve', 'cared', 'back', 'thenthis', 'life', 'right', 'figured', 'one', 'day', 'id', 'start', 'mustering', 'courage', 'fight', 'thinki', 'amslowly', 'mustering', 'courage', 'end']
109
['amready', 'razor', 'ready', 'slice', 'open', 'arm']
6
['think', 'timei', 'tiredim', 'worth', 'dead', 'alive']
6
['amthe', 'worst', 'human', 'time', 'first', 'exciting', 'wish', 'write', 'killed', 'someone', 'make', 'people', 'go', 'like', 'damn', 'noi', 'even', 'good', 'enough', 'thati', 'ama', 'lil', 'bitch', 'cant', 'talk', 'family', 'let', 'alone', 'friend', 'stranger', 'hoe', 'wanna', 'fuck', 'say', 'causei', 'amonly', 'inch', 'want', 'job', 'wanna', 'causei', 'amsick', 'talking', 'around', 'looking', 'people', 'vice', 'versa', 'want', 'kill', 'dont', 'want', 'family', 'find', 'dont', 'know', 'fuck', 'given']
58
['afternoon', 'popped', 'pill', 'get', 'anywhere', 'need', 'get', 'heart', 'spasmed', 'time', 'got', 'fell', 'asleep', 'hit', 'received', 'text', 'someone', 'hadnt', 'talked', 'long', 'someone', 'used', 'half', 'hourslong', 'discussion', 'wanted', 'know', 'world', 'around', 'sent', 'tea', 'halfway', 'across', 'globe', 'cried', 'cried', 'sabotaging', 'life', 'long', 'think', 'finally', 'time']
42
['need', 'institutionalizei', 'going', 'fucking', 'crazyi', 'amliterally', 'thinking', 'fucking', 'murdering', 'someone', 'fucking', 'killing', 'afteri', 'amfucking', 'rocking', 'back', 'forth', 'someone', 'come', 'put', 'misery']
21
['want', 'get', 'better', 'dont', 'know', 'howi', 'amscared', 'alone', 'anxious', 'constantly', 'remindedi', 'amcovered', 'scar', 'becausei', 'ama', 'dumbfuckeverything', 'seems', 'like', 'struggle', 'cant', 'even', 'motivate', 'waste', 'time', 'nothing', 'except', 'occaisonal', 'houseworki', 'dont', 'even', 'selfesteem', 'fallback', 'good', 'anything', 'hobby', 'nothing', 'really', 'hard', 'even', 'get', 'bed', 'spent', 'entire', 'day', 'bed', 'yesterday', 'rotating', 'bad', 'dream', 'fueling', 'anxiety', 'cry', 'whenever', 'wa', 'awakeits', 'really', 'hard', 'something', 'irreversibly', 'stupid', 'get', 'antsy', 'helping', 'food', 'prep', 'around', 'sharp', 'knivesim', 'qualified', 'anything', 'feel', 'likei', 'stupid', 'anything', 'dont', 'drive', 'want', 'ive', 'got', 'severe', 'anxiety', 'everythings', 'scaryall', 'online', 'friend', 'better', 'constantly', 'come', 'heyi', 'worthless', 'sad', 'cant', 'anything', 'theyve', 'selftaught', 'like', 'entire', 'language', 'exceptionally', 'skilled', 'hobby', 'moreand', 'dont', 'anythingi', 'failed', 'highschool', 'havent', 'done', 'anything', 'since', 'except', 'mooch', 'parent', 'put', 'reason', 'probably', 'annoy', 'everyone', 'talk', 'becausei', 'worthless', 'depressedhad', 'really', 'shitty', 'episode', 'last', 'night', 'deactivated', 'account', 'removed', 'everyone', 'except', 'distance', 'gf', 'againi', 'ama', 'dumbfuck', 'even', 'though', 'promised', 'wouldnt', 'didsomeone', 'basically', 'said', 'stop', 'depressed', 'gf', 'reason', 'sad', 'think', 'broke', 'something', 'ive', 'feeling', 'like', 'shit', 'ever', 'sinceits', 'hard', 'give', 'upi', 'want', 'even', 'semi', 'functional', 'live', 'somewhere', 'quiet', 'person', 'adorei', 'dont', 'want', 'think', 'suicide', 'constantly', 'drop', 'hati', 'dont', 'want', 'anxious', 'around', 'sharp', 'thing', 'easy', 'relapsei', 'feel', 'broken', 'compared', 'everyone', 'else', 'ive', 'ever', 'met', 'sucksthis', 'post', 'suck', 'even', 'sure', 'posted']
199
['killing', 'really', 'smart', 'thing', 'since', 'becoming', 'disabled', 'lost', 'live', 'used', 'enjoy', 'getting', 'every', 'morning', 'wake', 'disappointed', 'die', 'sleepi', 'nothing', 'live', 'anymore', 'nothing', 'look', 'forward', 'version', 'future', 'interest', 'want', 'die', 'death', 'free', 'experience', 'life', 'disabled', 'person', 'see', 'reason', 'continue', 'living', 'since', 'nothing', 'left', 'want', 'doi', 'want', 'combination', 'future', 'look', 'forward', 'experience', 'life', 'wheelchair', 'enough', 'want', 'check']
55
['guy', 'gonna', 'fucking', 'keep', 'living', 'scared', 'actually', 'killing', 'amscared', 'whats', 'happening', 'fucking', 'test', 'gonna', 'soon', 'amgonna', 'kill', 'conveniently', 'day', 'fucking', 'test', 'fucking', 'ruined', 'chance', 'happinessi', 'scared', 'miserable']
27
['hurt', 'see', 'friend', 'roommate', 'go', 'fun', 'without', 'inviting', 'lying', 'depressed', 'part', 'year', 'tried', 'commit', 'suicide', 'year', 'ago', 'dont', 'know', 'take', 'personally', 'time', 'verbally', 'abuse', 'help']
25
['dont', 'want', 'burden', 'went', 'mental', 'hospital', 'summer', 'spent', 'better', 'part', 'month', 'fact', 'finally', 'told', 'truth', 'psychiatrist', 'wa', 'sent', 'wasnt', 'bad', 'place', 'really', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'got', 'lucky', 'really', 'good', 'hospital', 'experimented', 'medication', 'bunch', 'group', 'go', 'hell', 'think', 'even', 'almost', 'made', 'couple', 'friend', 'almosti', 'amout', 'nowi', 'still', 'depressed', 'anxious', 'facti', 'ammore', 'depressed', 'think', 'ive', 'ever', 'cant', 'enjoy', 'thing', 'anymore', 'day', 'go', 'dont', 'feel', 'sad', 'hour', 'go', 'without', 'thought', 'suicide', 'dont', 'know', 'guess', 'medsi', 'amon', 'arent', 'working', 'something', 'dont', 'want', 'burden', 'doctor', 'family', 'happy', 'left', 'hospital', 'nowi', 'worse', 'place', 'first', 'went', 'want', 'kill', 'amjust', 'lonely', 'friend', 'meaningful', 'relationship', 'people', 'crippling', 'social', 'anxiety', 'given', 'talking', 'people', 'want', 'give', 'experience', 'couldnt', 'help', 'cani', 'trying', 'healthy', 'really', 'go', 'walk', 'everyday', 'get', 'brush', 'teeth', 'shower', 'take', 'med', 'none', 'changing', 'feel', 'guess', 'best', 'way', 'describe', 'feel', 'want', 'give', 'everything', 'want', 'curl', 'die', 'nothing', 'sleep', 'way', 'much', 'hour', 'day', 'avoid', 'awake', 'turning', 'stupid', 'rant', 'fucking', 'great', 'great', 'dont', 'know', 'doi', 'amsupposed', 'tell', 'parent', 'feel', 'like', 'talked', 'lot', 'communication', 'hospital', 'cant', 'cant', 'dont', 'want', 'tell', 'anyone', 'except', 'anonymous', 'stranger', 'internet', 'forget', 'minute', 'read', 'post', 'hilarious', 'huhi', 'amstarting', 'school', 'soon', 'miss', 'go', 'back', 'hospitali', 'amscared', 'tell', 'anyone', 'feel', 'get', 'sent', 'bad', 'hospital', 'miserable', 'dont', 'know', 'miserable', 'everyday', 'anyways', 'guess', 'person', 'chat', 'would', 'nice', 'really', 'lonely', 'talk', 'much', 'bad', 'following', 'replying', 'try', 'doe', 'anyone', 'advice', 'comment', 'muchi', 'way', 'behind', 'everyone', 'else', 'age', 'gah', 'another', 'stupid', 'rant', 'wish', 'wa', 'dead']
227
['best', 'way', 'commit', 'suicide', 'discover', 'body', 'want', 'end', 'cause', 'minimal', 'harm', 'family', 'dont', 'want', 'find', 'body', 'traumatic', 'hell', 'would', 'great', 'didnt', 'even', 'know', 'wa', 'dead', 'went', 'missing', 'plan', 'far', 'shoot', 'head', 'middle', 'lake', 'weight', 'tied', 'foot', 'way', 'success', 'rate', 'bullet', 'doesnt', 'kill', 'drowning', 'body', 'sink', 'nobody', 'traumatized', 'finding', 'disappear', 'wondering', 'anybody', 'better', 'idea', 'p', 'please', 'dont', 'try', 'convince', 'ive', 'heard', 'wont', 'help', 'idea', 'everybody', 'opposed', 'death', 'hell', 'probably', 'like', 'wa', 'like', 'wa', 'born', 'nothing', 'compared', 'pathetic', 'life', 'live', 'sound', 'great', 'ive', 'thought', 'sayi', 'ama', 'selfish', 'asshole', 'right', 'please', 'help', 'cause', 'le', 'damage', 'family', 'le', 'asshole']
95
['worst', 'night', 'entire', 'life', 'ive', 'never', 'wanted', 'kill', 'ever', 'right', 'amdumb', 'amhoping', 'youd', 'get', 'back', 'together']
16
['youll', 'never', 'actually', 'give', 'fuck', 'started', 'talking', 'decide', 'ghost', 'nowhere', 'least', 'let', 'know', 'fucked', 'thinki', 'amgonna', 'go', 'lay', 'railroad', 'track', 'train', 'hit', 'get', 'go', 'back', 'apartmentits', 'always', 'guyi', 'amjust', 'filler', 'fuck', 'youplease', 'dont', 'respond', 'posti', 'amjust', 'trying', 'vent']
38
['worried', 'might', 'something', 'drastic', 'currently', 'recovering', 'panic', 'attack', 'hour', 'ago', 'still', 'live', 'mom', 'basically', 'left', 'note', 'telling', 'didnt', 'laundry', 'anymore', 'becausei', 'already', 'enough', 'burden', 'didnt', 'mention', 'part', 'note', 'burst', 'room', 'start', 'cry', 'saying', 'shouldnt', 'mean', 'wa', 'confused', 'didnt', 'say', 'anything', 'left', 'minute', 'later', 'run', 'yelling', 'top', 'lung', 'shes', 'never', 'anything', 'ever', 'shouldnt', 'ask', 'dont', 'know', 'possibly', 'could', 'offended', 'thought', 'wa', 'nice', 'responsible', 'guess', 'long', 'story', 'short', 'almost', 'overdosed', 'took', 'pill', 'stopped', 'still', 'kind', 'want', 'take', 'rest', 'ive', 'lost', 'everyone', 'ever', 'cared', 'cant', 'face', 'mother', 'morning', 'dont', 'know', 'falling', 'asleep', 'never', 'waking', 'seems', 'like', 'good', 'solution']
95
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91
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181
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149
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138
['found', 'place', 'take', 'life', 'ha', 'genuine', 'significance', 'park', 'bench', 'hung', 'girl', 'ive', 'love', 'ten', 'year', 'last', 'think', 'memorable', 'place', 'deed', 'sure', 'access', 'gun', 'doe', 'anybody', 'idea', 'brainstorming', 'hanging', 'tree', 'right', 'beside', 'bench', 'guess', 'could', 'hang']
35
['want', 'feel', 'like', 'someone', 'care', 'way', 'year', 'since', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'someone', 'top', 'priorityi', 'year', 'old', 'college', 'time', 'life', 'seems', 'like', 'dont', 'matter', 'anyone', 'everyone', 'try', 'get', 'close', 'doesnt', 'show', 'concern', 'care', 'back', 'people', 'consider', 'closest', 'friend', 'knowi', 'rut', 'yet', 'nobody', 'call', 'check', 'like', 'nobody', 'seems', 'wonder', 'ifi', 'amok', 'need', 'helpmy', 'past', 'girlfriend', 'legitimately', 'left', 'guy', 'one', 'texting', 'speak', 'telling', 'left', 'like', 'voice', 'better', 'like', 'actually', 'bad', 'person', 'replaced', 'someone', 'better', 'voice', 'family', 'doesnt', 'seem', 'slightest', 'concerned', 'way', 'ive', 'tried', 'talk', 'whati', 'amstruggling', 'get', 'response', 'like', 'got', 'get', 'together', 'hard', 'get', 'get', 'moving', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'wrong', 'thati', 'priority', 'anyone', 'know', 'people', 'say', 'always', 'someone', 'care', 'know', 'want', 'back', 'put', 'want', 'someone', 'talk', 'first', 'someone', 'ask', 'go', 'somewhere', 'someone', 'want', 'around', 'like', 'good', 'enough', 'dont', 'know', 'change', 'someone', 'anyways', 'today', 'wa', 'breaking', 'point', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'go', 'work', 'class', 'mask', 'everyone', 'want', 'entertained', 'stressed', 'depressed', 'loneri', 'tired', 'acting', 'happy', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'anyways', 'nobody', 'would', 'change', 'thing', 'saw', 'wasnt', 'happy']
160
['screw', 'everyone', 'ha', 'stopped', 'killing', 'seriously', 'serious', 'mental', 'health', 'issue', 'since', 'wa', 'six', 'every', 'freaking', 'thing', 'ive', 'heard', 'voice', 'rip', 'hair', 'skin', 'hate', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'many', 'time', 'far', 'stopped', 'mad', 'yes', 'good', 'intention', 'doesnt', 'make', 'tired', 'suffering', 'never', 'end']
39
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59
['love', 'somebody', 'doesnt', 'know', 'exist', 'even', 'didi', 'ampretty', 'sure', 'wouldnt', 'love', 'way', 'need', 'dont', 'really', 'know', 'explain', 'mean', 'feeling', 'arent', 'romantic', 'way', 'shes', 'married', 'doesnt', 'bother', 'slightest', 'desire', 'whatsoever', 'sort', 'relationship', 'love', 'deeply', 'platonic', 'spiritual', 'level', 'though', 'ive', 'never', 'spoken', 'feel', 'connection', 'writing', 'cant', 'say', 'make', 'love', 'much', 'think', 'loving', 'back', 'badly', 'would', 'love', 'mentormentee', 'motherdaughter', 'kind', 'relationship', 'dont', 'know', 'dont', 'know', 'crave', 'motherly', 'figure', 'specifically', 'woman', 'wonderful', 'relationship', 'mother', 'love', 'anybody', 'world', 'part', 'level', 'desire', 'woman', 'affection', 'dont', 'think', 'ever', 'peace', 'know', 'name', 'considers', 'friend', 'ha', 'held', 'arm', 'least', 'oncei', 'cant', 'tell', 'anyone', 'feeling', 'lest', 'consider', 'freak', 'know', 'ami', 'ama', 'fucked', 'weird', 'person', 'doesnt', 'even', 'deserve', 'alive', 'know', 'dream', 'never', 'become', 'reality', 'even', 'get', 'know', 'lady', 'dont', 'expect', 'thing', 'work', 'wayi', 'amhoping', 'willi', 'amquickly', 'losing', 'hope', 'weight', 'desire', 'livei', 'amlike', 'walking', 'vegetable', 'completely', 'devoid', 'substance', 'cry', 'make', 'sick', 'able', 'love', 'want', 'anything', 'dont', 'know', 'go', 'like', 'thisi', 'tired', 'feeling', 'sad', 'worthless']
152
['girl', 'break', 'bci', 'amdepressedi', 'designed', 'loved', 'alivei', 'face', 'fact', 'depressed', 'rest', 'life', 'tonight', 'take', 'pill', 'got', 'day', 'surprise', 'world']
19
['life', 'cheated', 'week', 'feel', 'suicidal', 'look', 'back', 'post', 'see', 'story', 'ive', 'fine', 'last', 'week', 'hit', 'really', 'hardi', 'amlosing', 'whole', 'life', 'feel', 'alone', 'divorce', 'worst', 'cant', 'cope', 'want', 'life', 'end']
29
['nothing', 'live', 'nothing', 'worth', 'living', 'anymore', 'family', 'friend', 'arent', 'enough', 'anymore', 'know', 'would', 'hurt', 'theyd', 'soon', 'get', 'iti', 'nothing', 'speciali', 'amunbelievably', 'forgettable', 'replaceable', 'school', 'doe', 'nothing', 'honestly', 'waste', 'limited', 'time', 'see', 'future', 'despair', 'loneliness', 'degree', 'isnt', 'going', 'fix', 'yeah', 'thing', 'might', 'get', 'better', 'point', 'dont', 'think', 'wait', 'thing', 'bad', 'reprieve', 'may', 'get', 'future', 'wont', 'last', 'might', 'well', 'end', 'cycle']
59
['dont', 'know', 'whyi', 'still', 'yo', 'male', 'high', 'school', 'senior', 'living', 'parent', 'sibling', 'recently', 'ive', 'come', 'lost', 'self', 'esteem', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'amgood', 'purpose', 'ever', 'society', 'get', 'occasional', 'severe', 'depression', 'causing', 'avoid', 'social', 'interaction', 'meeting', 'closest', 'friend', 'find', 'extremely', 'awkward', 'notice', 'people', 'get', 'uncomfortable', 'around', 'lot', 'people', 'know', 'thinki', 'amdecently', 'attractive', 'lack', 'social', 'skill', 'ha', 'come', 'detriment', 'come', 'woman', 'friend', 'super', 'successful', 'student', 'likely', 'going', 'ivy', 'league', 'excellent', 'social', 'life', 'good', 'woman', 'recent', 'homecoming', 'dance', 'really', 'made', 'realize', 'far', 'drifted', 'rest', 'friend', 'come', 'social', 'interaction', 'friendship', 'know', 'friend', 'family', 'care', 'lot', 'find', 'hard', 'understand', 'lot', 'time', 'ive', 'brought', 'suicide', 'dad', 'occasion', 'never', 'taken', 'seriously', 'homecoming', 'dance', 'really', 'pushed', 'edge', 'ive', 'considering', 'ever', 'dont', 'know', 'myselfthe', 'thing', 'still', 'keep', 'going', 'listening', 'frank', 'ocean', 'going', 'gym']
124
['bear', 'wound', 'battle', 'avoided', 'anybody', 'relate', 'thisquote', 'fernando', 'pessoa']
9
['give', 'one', 'reason', 'shouldnt', 'cut', 'throat', 'open', 'one', 'desire', 'living', 'jokeand', 'one', 'hide', 'mei', 'angry']
15
['doe', 'feel', 'drown', 'relaxing', 'desesperating', 'like', 'movie', 'experienced']
8
['blehi', 'amjust', 'done', 'wish', 'voluntary', 'euthanasia', 'wa', 'thing', 'wa', 'available', 'anyone', 'never', 'happen', 'power', 'get', 'nothing', 'let', 'honest', 'metric', 'fuck', 'ton', 'people', 'would', 'cause', 'society', 'even', 'le', 'stable', 'still', 'thing', 'society', 'embracing', 'freedom', 'choose', 'eg', 'gender', 'stereotype', 'well', 'say', 'existential', 'freedom', 'cant', 'choose', 'leave', 'without', 'excruciating', 'methodi', 'gf', 'month', 'wa', 'like', 'morphine', 'life', 'took', 'edge', 'still', 'desire', 'live', 'though', 'ha', 'new', 'guy', 'thoughi', 'amobjectively', 'aware', 'expendabilityi', 'really', 'feeling', 'nowmy', 'half', 'assed', 'idea', 'work', 'work', 'bicycle', 'shop', 'even', 'effort', 'ama', 'slow', 'person', 'id', 'deal', 'people', 'id', 'easily', 'take', 'painless', 'method', 'instead']
90
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238
['bla', 'bla', 'bla', 'another', 'one', 'another', 'sad', 'shit', 'long', 'line', 'sad', 'shit', 'nothing', 'special', 'suppose', 'want', 'kill', 'daily', 'sabotage', 'good', 'thing', 'ive', 'barely', 'able', 'hold', 'job', 'longer', 'couple', 'month', 'absolutely', 'fucking', 'despise', 'myselfi', 'amonly', 'alive', 'family', 'friend', 'none', 'understand', 'none', 'care', 'ask', 'honestly', 'ive', 'told', 'feel', 'yet', 'ive', 'gotten', 'old', 'one', 'liner', 'advice', 'basically', 'sum', 'fix', 'bullshiti', 'dont', 'eat', 'inability', 'purchase', 'food', 'inability', 'choose', 'food', 'cigarette', 'dollar', 'name', 'eat', 'every', 'day', 'day', 'amdown', 'something', 'lb', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'last', 'throw', 'th', 'floor', 'balcony']
85
['crappy', 'birthday', 'birthday', 'almost', 'wa', 'supposed', 'help', 'forget', 'bullshit', 'ive', 'going', 'lately', 'far', 'ive', 'cheated', 'crashed', 'car', 'amgetting', 'evicted', 'mention', 'dont', 'even', 'money', 'go', 'bar', 'fucking', 'drink', 'cheating', 'bitch', 'stole', 'iti', 'want', 'hug']
33
['dont', 'feel', 'like', 'anything', 'good', 'ever', 'going', 'happen', 'could', 'dont', 'thinki', 'ammeant', 'feel', 'better', 'meant', 'want', 'get', 'arbitrary', 'age', 'ive', 'set', 'achieve', 'kind', 'success', 'want', 'nothing', 'show', 'washedup', 'talentless', 'loser', 'whats', 'point']
32
['goodbye', 'friend', 'friend', 'wa', 'taken', 'life', 'support', 'couple', 'day', 'ago', 'od', 'synthetic', 'opiate', 'ever', 'since', 'ive', 'felt', 'sick', 'stomach', 'seeing', 'family', 'facebook', 'dont', 'energy', 'wanna', 'quit', 'job', 'quit', 'school', 'last', 'year', 'life', 'already', 'real', 'dull', 'thing', 'keeping', 'going', 'new', 'girl', 'work', 'seems', 'interested', 'amjust', 'normal', 'guy', 'ha', 'idea', 'depressed', 'amscared', 'get', 'close', 'imagining', 'finding', 'make', 'even', 'scared', 'imagining', 'good', 'chance', 'wont', 'around', 'cheer', 'future', 'inevitably', 'ruin', 'thing', 'worst', 'without', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'would', 'motivate', 'look', 'forward', 'getting', 'go', 'work', 'see', 'laugh', 'togetheri', 'good', 'relationship', 'dont', 'know', 'progress', 'thing', 'without', 'ruining', 'one', 'thing', 'make', 'happyi', 'got', 'topic', 'bit', 'guess', 'past', 'night', 'especially', 'hard', 'fall', 'asleep', 'keep', 'thinking', 'friend', 'dying', 'especially', 'since', 'young', 'keep', 'thinking', 'must', 'felt', 'wa', 'happening', 'wonder', 'knew', 'wa', 'dying', 'wonder', 'knew', 'wa', 'coma', 'life', 'support', 'wonder', 'better', 'place', 'nowim', 'sorryi', 'amranting', 'one', 'talk', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore']
139
['cried', 'first', 'time', 'decade', 'sitting', 'spending', 'th', 'night', 'alone', 'cannot', 'take', 'much', 'longer', 'started', 'therapy', 'month', 'ago', 'told', 'stuck', 'sure', 'someone', 'read', 'say', 'need', 'find', 'new', 'therapistpsychiatrist', 'pointi', 'broken', 'need', 'shop', 'around', 'someone', 'tell', 'life', 'worth', 'livingi', 'trauma', 'life', 'seriously', 'cannot', 'seem', 'bare', 'minimum', 'eat', 'time', 'day', 'sometimes', 'drink', 'day', 'week', 'usually', 'get', 'trashed', 'burn', 'time', 'work', 'avoid', 'roommate', 'fall', 'asleep', 'rinse', 'repeat', 'next', 'daymy', 'family', 'adores', 'would', 'proud', 'cleaned', 'gutter', 'wa', 'senator', 'support', 'group', 'cry', 'pleads', 'happy', 'accept', 'cant', 'iti', 'pushed', 'friend', 'away', 'point', 'thought', 'therapy', 'romantic', 'relationship', 'never', 'possible', 'broke', 'first', 'gf', 'age', 'couldnt', 'handle', 'told', 'loved', 'two', 'since', 'even', 'worse', 'ive', 'never', 'assaulted', 'ive', 'never', 'wanted', 'anything', 'would', 'trade', 'life', 'could', 'cant', 'make', 'anything', 'tell', 'someone', 'might', 'well', 'reddit']
122
['lost', 'last', 'friend', 'thought', 'wa', 'helping', 'happened', 'hour', 'ago', 'really', 'dont', 'know', 'messed', 'really', 'bad', 'friend', 'wa', 'little', 'high', 'decided', 'meet', 'guy', 'church', 'near', 'house', 'phone', 'call', 'cop', 'anything', 'went', 'wrong', 'already', 'told', 'didnt', 'trust', 'guy', 'told', 'doesnt', 'call', 'minute', 'call', 'police', 'gave', 'minute', 'figured', 'phone', 'may', 'died', 'wa', 'worried', 'called', 'anyway', 'eventually', 'call', 'let', 'know', 'wa', 'okay', 'called', 'police', 'station', 'back', 'told', 'well', 'ended', 'going', 'house', 'anyway', 'check', 'guess', 'police', 'found', 'high', 'drinking', 'underage', 'assume', 'shes', 'ton', 'trouble', 'called', 'around', 'fifteen', 'minute', 'ago', 'tell', 'life', 'wa', 'wa', 'never', 'going', 'talk', 'ive', 'never', 'situation', 'like', 'dont', 'think', 'live', 'ruining', 'someone', 'life', 'like', 'thought', 'wa', 'helping', 'tried', 'talking', 'suicide', 'prevention', 'hotline', 'minute', 'ago', 'put', 'hold', 'multiple', 'time', 'told', 'wa', 'fault', 'know', 'feel', 'helpless', 'recover', 'knowing', 'ruined', 'someone', 'life', 'ruined', 'life', 'wish', 'slept', 'phone', 'call', 'tonight', 'somebody', 'please', 'help', 'seems', 'like', 'type', 'thing', 'never', 'able', 'get']
144
['wanna', 'die', 'cant', 'deal', 'living', 'without', 'please', 'anyone', 'reach', 'talk', 'please', 'help']
12
['biggest', 'regret', 'right', 'didnt', 'go', 'didnt', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'like', 'lot', 'people', 'plan', 'would', 'happen', 'ended', 'wa', 'told', 'thing', 'would', 'get', 'better', 'awhile', 'year', 'old', 'baby', 'girl', 'love', 'piece', 'mother', 'love', 'issue', 'right', 'dont', 'hope', 'anything', 'else', 'work', 'get', 'better', 'gone', 'deal', 'anymore', 'tired', 'failing', 'wish', 'wa', 'gone', 'daughter', 'birth', 'way', 'wouldnt', 'reason', 'stick', 'around', 'right']
55
['wasnt', 'kid', 'immediately', 'family', 'would', 'probably', 'kill', 'feel', 'right', 'spend', 'life', 'looking', 'everyone', 'lone', 'father', 'girl', 'love', 'dearly', 'work', 'job', 'caring', 'disabled', 'adult', 'disabled', 'kid', 'literally', 'spend', 'life', 'caring', 'people', 'surface', 'laugh', 'jokebut', 'inside', 'ive', 'depressed', 'entire', 'life', 'find', 'hard', 'cope', 'little', 'thing', 'live', 'state', 'constant', 'anxiety', 'ha', 'seen', 'fail', 'dream', 'beginning', 'teacher', 'cant', 'pas', 'time', 'test', 'fully', 'competent', 'teach', 'cannot', 'answer', 'complex', 'math', 'question', 'second', 'loli', 'girlfriend', 'love', 'bit', 'shes', 'pretty', 'selfish', 'eg', 'try', 'talk', 'stress', 'looking', 'daughter', 'ha', 'aspergers', 'mental', 'health', 'issue', 'start', 'going', 'well', 'daughter', 'schoolshe', 'literally', 'never', 'asks', 'get', 'really', 'anxious', 'thing', 'neighbour', 'moved', 'said', 'young', 'couple', 'moving', 'knowing', 'sort', 'thing', 'make', 'extremely', 'anxiousi', 'amimagining', 'terrible', 'neighbour', 'banging', 'music', 'etc', 'girlfriend', 'commented', 'bound', 'worst', 'think', 'jerk', 'make', 'feel', 'bad', 'stuff', 'feel', 'alonei', 'hate', 'look', 'horrible', 'teeth', 'amoverweight', 'smoke', 'like', 'chimney', 'ob', 'dying', 'want', 'stop', 'smoking', 'feel', 'stressed', 'smoke', 'moreeverything', 'seems', 'bleaki', 'amsure', 'wasnt', 'wanting', 'hurt', 'family', 'id', 'killed', 'end', 'constant', 'pain', 'live']
156
['alone', 'tired', 'ready', 'leave', 'finally', 'gotten', 'point', 'return', 'distraction', 'dont', 'work', 'one', 'want', 'anything', 'thought', 'id', 'able', 'take', 'ive', 'come', 'realize', 'important', 'outside', 'support', 'well', 'train', 'left', 'long', 'time', 'ago', 'ive', 'pushed', 'everyone', 'awayi', 'amthinking', 'maybe', 'post', 'might', 'feel', 'bit', 'better', 'writing', 'feel', 'worse', 'sorry', 'annoyance', 'hope', 'get', 'witness', 'people', 'life', 'cut', 'tie']
53
['feeling', 'alone', 'feel', 'fucking', 'alone', 'feel', 'put', 'click', 'bait', 'title', 'get', 'comfort', 'world', 'people', 'tell', 'go', 'get', 'help', 'try', 'one', 'care', 'cant', 'tell', 'parent', 'depression', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'dont', 'even', 'believe', 'severe', 'anxiety', 'issue', 'year', 'ago', 'told', 'father', 'wanted', 'kill', 'slapped', 'whole', 'go', 'room', 'cry', 'eye', 'come', 'room', 'knife', 'help', 'commit', 'suicide', 'kind', 'fucking', 'parenting', 'tactic', 'genuinely', 'thought', 'wa', 'going', 'help', 'helped', 'keep', 'real', 'problem', 'away', 'ear', 'cant', 'tell', 'boyfriend', 'problem', 'ha', 'mental', 'issue', 'strong', 'one', 'relationship', 'refuse', 'bring', 'problem', 'friend', 'theyre', 'gone', 'except', 'one', 'trying', 'crawl', 'back', 'life', 'way', 'treated', 'mei', 'trust', 'issue', 'well', 'dont', 'even', 'talk', 'stuff', 'unless', 'stranger', 'online', 'online', 'friend', 'happen', 'get', 'close', 'week', 'disappear']
108
['buckshot', 'slug', 'guy', 'think', 'commit', 'suicide', 'using', 'shell', 'buckshot', 'slug', 'assuming', 'guage', 'want', 'end', 'instandly', 'painlessly']
16
['torn', 'wanting', 'live', 'wanting', 'die', 'better', 'live', 'least', 'youre', 'join', 'clubseriously', 'though', 'whats']
13
['already', 'constant', 'physical', 'agony', 'stomach', 'pain', 'prevent', 'eating', 'anything', 'afraid', 'living', 'dying', 'point', 'research', 'seems', 'like', 'painless', 'method', 'since', 'curtailed', 'due', 'govt', 'regulation', 'really', 'dont', 'think', 'affect', 'decision', 'point', 'thinki', 'willing', 'whatever', 'take', 'get', 'anyway', 'thank', 'time']
37
['amliterally', 'jumping', 'aiming', 'head']
4
['lost', 'everything', 'within', 'week', 'house', 'wife', 'kid', 'job', 'suck', 'regularly', 'overworked', 'underpaid', 'sleeping', 'warehouse', 'whole', 'world', 'fell', 'apart', 'want', 'leave', 'shit', 'life', 'care', 'others', 'much', 'hey', 'man', 'cant', 'speak', 'experience', 'long', 'path', 'life', 'wont', 'offer', 'advice', 'dont', 'want', 'offend', 'either', 'intelligence', 'experience', 'however', 'say', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'make', 'happen', 'wish', 'best', 'please', 'take', 'care']
54
['close', 'point', 'ive', 'pretty', 'bad', 'shape', 'since', 'high', 'school', 'last', 'three', 'year', 'overwhelmingly', 'since', 'began', 'worst', 'continue', 'go', 'stretched', 'thin', 'recently', 'realized', 'thati', 'ama', 'ridiculous', 'hypochondriac', 'ironic', 'someone', 'suicidal', 'righti', 'amtruly', 'afraid', 'dying', 'afraid', 'long', 'term', 'suffering', 'deal', 'surgical', 'disfiguration', 'complication', 'something', 'guess', 'even', 'though', 'suffering', 'wouldnt', 'long', 'itd', 'prompt', 'already', 'consistent', 'thought', 'thati', 'amalways', 'sick', 'something', 'wrong', 'extent', 'true', 'ive', 'minor', 'moderate', 'health', 'issue', 'since', 'year', 'began', 'basically', 'left', 'shell', 'used', 'wa', 'anything', 'first', 'place', 'ha', 'made', 'think', 'itd', 'much', 'better', 'easier', 'skipped', 'ahead', 'worry', 'finished', 'thought', 'already', 'much', 'faster', 'easily', 'life', 'actually', 'goingi', 'college', 'ive', 'miserable', 'since', 'got', 'herei', 'last', 'three', 'year', 'truly', 'miserable', 'year', 'life', 'since', 'going', 'college', 'ive', 'lost', 'friend', 'college', 'whether', 'losing', 'touch', 'going', 'separate', 'way', 'term', 'personality', 'development', 'theyre', 'gone', 'ive', 'made', 'friend', 'single', 'friend', 'could', 'give', 'smallest', 'ounce', 'damn', 'aka', 'reasoni', 'amsitting', 'apartment', 'friday', 'night', 'instead', 'like', 'everyone', 'know', 'time', 'plan', 'anyone', 'theyve', 'bailed', 'one', 'way', 'another', 'couple', 'people', 'bring', 'lot', 'joy', 'dont', 'bring', 'joy', 'single', 'person', 'earth', 'thats', 'really', 'big', 'pain', 'ive', 'never', 'dated', 'anyone', 'havent', 'able', 'really', 'deeply', 'care', 'anyone', 'becausei', 'dead', 'cold', 'inside', 'point', 'go', 'work', 'class', 'eat', 'cant', 'even', 'enjoy', 'much', 'anymore', 'ive', 'many', 'god', 'damn', 'gastrointestinal', 'problem', 'recently', 'cant', 'even', 'comforted', 'anymore', 'go', 'bed', 'cant', 'afford', 'psychiatric', 'help', 'always', 'people', 'ive', 'ever', 'somewhat', 'real', 'conversation', 'dismissed', 'melodramatic', 'depressing', 'always', 'great', 'thing', 'hear', 'havent', 'even', 'bothered', 'really', 'open', 'themi', 'american', 'lot', 'family', 'life', 'abroad', 'work', 'hard', 'send', 'money', 'back', 'need', 'point', 'thing', 'give', 'sense', 'fulfillment', 'give', 'false', 'sense', 'someone', 'need', 'even', 'though', 'need', 'financial', 'aspect', 'disappeared', 'loss', 'anyone', 'would', 'experience', 'would', 'paycheck', 'oh', 'boy', 'doe', 'cut', 'deep', 'every', 'aspecti', 'amuseless', 'unnecessary', 'drink', 'pretty', 'often', 'know', 'doesnt', 'help', 'thing', 'make', 'feel', 'good', 'go', 'thats', 'always', 'going', 'good', 'way', 'dont', 'even', 'want', 'feel', 'sorry', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'way', 'anymore', 'sign', 'resolution', 'want', 'die', 'much', 'many', 'way', 'yet', 'unidentifiable', 'reason', 'dont', 'know', 'long', 'unidentifiable', 'force']
313
['one', 'night', 'first', 'time', 'posting', 'subhere', 'go', 'soi', 'ambipolar', 'diagnosed', 'untreated', 'ive', 'self', 'medicated', 'opiate', 'since', 'death', 'mom', 'raised', 'parent', 'divorced', 'ten', 'remarried', 'abusive', 'asshole', 'dont', 'care', 'dad', 'wasnt', 'bad', 'wasnt', 'available', 'day', 'month', 'place', 'never', 'spent', 'time', 'together', 'day', 'anywaysback', 'momshe', 'wa', 'world', 'support', 'made', 'best', 'every', 'bad', 'situation', 'wa', 'always', 'nervous', 'breakdown', 'mid', 'struggled', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'alcoholism', 'year', 'git', 'sober', 'good', 'medication', 'regiment', 'divorced', 'stepdad', 'got', 'great', 'boyfriend', 'diagnosed', 'ovarian', 'cancer', 'stage', 'b', 'may', 'died', 'month', 'wedding', 'cancer', 'ive', 'wife', 'year', 'married', 'year', 'total', 'year', 'son', 'yo', 'struggled', 'substance', 'abuse', 'miscarriage', 'money', 'problem', 'job', 'recall', 'cant', 'hold', 'job', 'used', 'able', 'year', 'time', 'work', 'year', 'lost', 'best', 'job', 'ive', 'ever', 'construction', 'wa', 'simply', 'told', 'wasnt', 'good', 'fit', 'title', 'loan', 'payday', 'advance', 'credit', 'card', 'past', 'due', 'bill', 'cant', 'manage', 'job', 'cant', 'cant', 'year', 'old', 'surpassed', 'peer', 'careerwisei', 'tired', 'man', 'like', 'bone', 'weary', 'letting', 'people', 'coming', 'short', 'provider', 'amount', 'resentment', 'wife', 'ha', 'staggering', 'understand', 'position', 'perfectly', 'job', 'wa', 'last', 'chance', 'wa', 'tonight', 'wa', 'gonna', 'night', 'know', 'boy', 'would', 'fine', 'parent', 'incredibly', 'well', 'humble', 'beginning', 'salt', 'earth', 'type', 'always', 'treated', 'well', 'youngest', 'asleep', 'lay', 'oldest', 'bed', 'wife', 'side', 'middle', 'literal', 'ocean', 'time', 'distance', 'u', 'wa', 'telling', 'bedtime', 'story', 'talked', 'heaven', 'nice', 'one', 'day', 'wa', 'nice', 'moment', 'memory', 'take', 'wa', 'readybeneath', 'u', 'garage', 'ready', 'car', 'length', 'hose', 'duct', 'tape', 'pvc', 'step', 'adapter', 'homemade', 'tailpipe', 'note', 'written', 'last', 'made', 'short', 'considering', 'item', 'ive', 'owned', 'worth', 'anything', 'long', 'gone', 'reason', 'reading', 'something', 'saidafter', 'last', 'story', 'kissed', 'forehead', 'said', 'best', 'part', 'favorite', 'person', 'good', 'son', 'said', 'know', 'daddyi', 'ama', 'good', 'boyi', 'amgood', 'school', 'listen', 'teacher', 'best', 'friend', 'teach', 'grow', 'right', 'last', 'word', 'fucking', 'gutted', 'literally', 'sat', 'step', 'hall', 'shaking', 'sobbing', 'loud', 'hyperventilating', 'ran', 'outside', 'wake', 'anyone', 'uncertainty', 'life', 'turn', 'greatest', 'source', 'turmoil', 'think', 'better', 'without', 'wife', 'get', 'abusive', 'asshole', 'chain', 'come', 'full', 'circle', 'wa', 'ready', 'man', 'tonight', 'wa', 'given', 'got', 'nothing', 'broken', 'lost', 'amok', 'goand', 'tonight', 'tonight', 'son', 'pushed', 'back']
314
['tonight', 'might', 'last', 'hurt', 'people', 'people', 'care', 'ive', 'always', 'like', 'nobody', 'mean', 'step', 'mom', 'doesnt', 'let', 'anything', 'social', 'hate', 'life', 'want', 'die', 'everyone', 'would', 'better', 'gone', 'want', 'end', 'dont', 'know', 'probably', 'drink', 'bleach', 'idk', 'yet']
35
['going', 'cut', 'wrist', 'life', 'nothing', 'drowning', 'agony', 'suffering', 'severe', 'depression', 'ocd', 'entire', 'life', 'third', 'world', 'country', 'biggest', 'target', 'school', 'violence', 'bullying', 'knownothing', 'ha', 'gotten', 'better', 'past', 'year', 'ever', 'among', 'worst', 'student', 'classroom', 'mind', 'barely', 'function', 'pain', 'boredom', 'braindead', 'shameless', 'subject', 'havent', 'helped', 'anyone', 'showing', 'making', 'others', 'miserable', 'dont', 'know', 'pointless', 'stuff', 'person', 'knowsi', 'completely', 'slow', 'clumsy', 'incompetent', 'least', 'compared', 'everyone', 'else', 'high', 'school', 'one', 'hardest', 'countryits', 'infinitely', 'easier', 'cruel', 'give', 'slightest', 'bit', 'empathy', 'especially', 'moron', 'professor', 'make', 'one', 'f', 'class', 'right', 'bat', 'didnt', 'show', 'one', 'day', 'sickening', 'absolutely', 'revolting', 'yet', 'even', 'close', 'atrocity', 'live', 'every', 'school', 'year', 'even', 'including', 'extreme', 'social', 'awkwardnessi', 'cant', 'go', 'required', 'spend', 'least', 'hour', 'day', 'studying', 'else', 'kicked', 'school', 'barely', 'spend', 'hour', 'second', 'year', 'high', 'schoolmy', 'mind', 'barely', 'function', 'pain', 'cant', 'focus', 'anything', 'much', 'expected', 'reason', 'empathy', 'understanding', 'whatsoever']
133
['thing', 'keeping', 'alive', 'fact', 'dont', 'want', 'mom', 'dad', 'go', 'dead', 'kid', 'thinking', 'failed', 'please', 'let', 'know', 'exactly']
17
['need', 'someone', 'know', 'ive', 'dont', 'want', 'suicide', 'note', 'though', 'isi', 'ama', 'year', 'old', 'female', 'feel', 'like', 'giving', 'issuesmy', 'dad', 'wa', 'life', 'died', 'suddenly', 'thanksgivingbecause', 'got', 'evicted', 'childhood', 'homewe', 'could', 'longer', 'afford', 'send', 'college', 'dream', 'mom', 'opened', 'bunch', 'credit', 'card', 'name', 'made', 'believe', 'wa', 'going', 'back', 'school', 'next', 'semester', 'scramble', 'find', 'school', 'would', 'take', 'credit', 'ruinedi', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'dad', 'againafter', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'wa', 'diagnosed', 'paranoid', 'schizophreniai', 'lost', 'pilot', 'license', 'due', 'schizophrenia', 'able', 'pas', 'medical', 'anymoremy', 'mom', 'stole', 'money', 'drug', 'mom', 'pregnant', 'refuse', 'go', 'see', 'doctor', 'anything', 'amworried', 'future', 'siblingi', 'failed', 'class', 'switch', 'majorsi', 'finally', 'got', 'program', 'dream', 'get', 'wreck', 'taken', 'jail', 'count', 'duo', 'good', 'news', 'case', 'wa', 'dropped', 'proved', 'wa', 'intoxicated', 'driving', 'however', 'got', 'kicked', 'program', 'case', 'wa', 'resolved', 'went', 'apply', 'program', 'wa', 'already', 'full', 'even', 'though', 'tried', 'first', 'daythe', 'car', 'accident', 'mentioned', 'knocked', 'front', 'teethi', 'denturesat', 'old', 'job', 'manager', 'spent', 'entire', 'time', 'berating', 'accusing', 'lying', 'threatening', 'mei', 'feel', 'likei', 'amleaving', 'stuff', 'thats', 'main', 'point', 'thanks', 'listening', 'dont', 'want', 'stuff', 'suicide', 'note', 'dont', 'want', 'anybody', 'feel', 'guilt', 'know', 'anyway', 'best', 'quit']
170
['feel', 'defeated', 'sometimes', 'dont', 'know', 'respond', 'anymorei', 'amsadand', 'know', 'need', 'workbut', 'feel', 'like', 'life', 'worthless', 'everything', 'else', 'want', 'live', 'time', 'want', 'quickly', 'escape', 'want', 'sleep', 'forever', 'bleed', 'untili', 'amdry', 'want', 'others', 'livei', 'dont', 'want', 'put', 'effort']
36
['deeply', 'suicidal', 'soi', 'easily', 'past', 'year', 'ive', 'seen', 'worth', 'getting', 'morning', 'started', 'fantasizing', 'killing', 'wa', 'ten', 'year', 'old', 'id', 'walk', 'around', 'elementary', 'school', 'mom', 'work', 'imagine', 'people', 'finding', 'different', 'closet', 'alcove', 'wa', 'home', 'schooled', 'didnt', 'friend', 'teenage', 'life', 'age', 'literally', 'didnt', 'see', 'anyone', 'age', 'month', 'end', 'felt', 'incredibly', 'isolated', 'lost', 'scared', 'worthless', 'thought', 'suicide', 'every', 'day', 'past', 'year', 'ive', 'ton', 'therapy', 'program', 'tried', 'incredibly', 'hard', 'grow', 'person', 'ive', 'tried', 'grow', 'learn', 'make', 'friend', 'every', 'step', 'way', 'ha', 'struggle', 'practice', 'making', 'eye', 'contact', 'practice', 'shaking', 'hand', 'practice', 'hugging', 'etc', 'didnt', 'first', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'first', 'job', 'wa', 'get', 'driver', 'license', 'wa', 'ive', 'never', 'sex', 'even', 'done', 'much', 'beyond', 'kissing', 'girli', 'amafraid', 'dont', 'know', 'whati', 'grew', 'around', 'woman', 'afraid', 'disappointing', 'making', 'feel', 'pressured', 'uncomfortable', 'womeni', 'amdrawn', 'almost', 'always', 'conservative', 'sexually', 'eventually', 'know', 'capable', 'living', 'expectation', 'youre', 'thirty', 'thats', 'intimidating', 'last', 'year', 'fell', 'love', 'woman', 'worked', 'quit', 'job', 'dated', 'six', 'month', 'broke', 'lost', 'jobi', 'still', 'jobless', 'almost', 'three', 'month', 'later', 'wa', 'car', 'accident', 'car', 'rheumatoid', 'arthritis', 'cant', 'afford', 'medicine', 'hard', 'walk', 'exercise', 'girlfriend', 'planned', 'summer', 'filled', 'trip', 'time', 'together', 'instead', 'spent', 'summer', 'alone', 'bedridden', 'broke', 'heartbroken', 'desperate', 'nothing', 'make', 'happy', 'one', 'love', 'want', 'truly', 'ive', 'combined', 'month', 'romantic', 'relationship', 'course', 'entire', 'life', 'woman', 'left', 'broke', 'heart', 'master', 'degree', 'never', 'find', 'job', 'pay', 'living', 'wagei', 'constant', 'pain', 'every', 'waking', 'moment', 'consumed', 'missing', 'ive', 'lost', 'feel', 'like', 'hollow', 'immaterial', 'thing', 'likei', 'already', 'lost', 'exist', 'remnant', 'likei', 'amlight', 'insignificant', 'enough', 'float', 'away', 'without', 'detection', 'genuinely', 'feel', 'like', 'point', 'going', 'ive', 'tried', 'kill', 'twice', 'recent', 'time', 'time', 'last', 'year', 'time', 'ended', 'hospital', 'almost', 'passed', 'away', 'situation', 'felt', 'overwhelmed', 'point', 'panic', 'suicide', 'felt', 'like', 'something', 'wa', 'solution', 'temporary', 'lack', 'reason', 'logical', 'almost', 'calming', 'belief', 'really', 'point', 'going', 'like', 'thought', 'quitting', 'bad', 'job', 'anticipating', 'end', 'bad', 'experience', 'intellectually', 'believe', 'life', 'least', 'one', 'worth', 'living', 'miss', 'girlfriend', 'desperately', 'gave', 'everything', 'issue', 'gave', 'everything', 'could', 'trying', 'help', 'understand', 'even', 'though', 'sometimes', 'resulted', 'feeling', 'hurt', 'overlooked', 'ignored', 'believed', 'beyond', 'issue', 'didnt', 'even', 'believe', 'beyond', 'current', 'employment', 'option', 'cant', 'better', 'cant', 'every', 'day', 'go', 'sleep', 'plan', 'end', 'life', 'next', 'day', 'encouraging', 'thought', 'drift', 'needed', 'share']
341
['rant', 'want', 'die', 'ive', 'wanted', 'die', 'year', 'nothing', 'give', 'one', 'share', 'anything', 'want', 'die', 'want', 'others', 'feel', 'ive', 'romanticized', 'deathi', 'corpse', 'shuffling', 'within', 'husk', 'lie', 'still', 'flickering', 'passion', 'life', 'want', 'love', 'understanding', 'ive', 'died', 'dont', 'believe', 'dont', 'believe', 'others', 'either', 'end', 'rant']
42
['lonely', 'whats', 'point', 'living', 'always', 'alone', 'ive', 'never', 'friend', 'onei', 'loneliness', 'ha', 'depressed', 'since', 'wa', 'crave', 'love', 'friendship', 'family', 'doesnt', 'even', 'know', 'one', 'care', 'ask', 'everyone', 'seems', 'want', 'talk', 'stopped', 'talking', 'completely', 'year', 'example', 'play', 'instrument', 'dont', 'even', 'knowi', 'aminto', 'music', 'thought', 'someone', 'else', 'beside', 'hang', 'seems', 'good', 'true', 'one', 'ever', 'come', 'see', 'actually', 'like', 'care', 'see', 'even', 'changed', 'look', 'dramatically', 'try', 'attract', 'people', 'lost', 'ton', 'weight', 'got', 'fit', 'got', 'teeth', 'straightened', 'whitened', 'started', 'wearing', 'makeup', 'made', 'good', 'looking', 'one', 'care', 'try', 'best', 'smile', 'time', 'make', 'eye', 'contact', 'people', 'wa', 'hard', 'severe', 'social', 'anxiety', 'one', 'care', 'dog', 'one', 'seems', 'genuinely', 'happy', 'see', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'best', 'friend', 'friend', 'one', 'ever', 'show', 'unconditional', 'love', 'shown', 'isnt', 'enough', 'always', 'alone', 'one', 'share', 'thought', 'feel', 'likei', 'ama', 'prisoner', 'solitary', 'confinement', 'strong', 'urge', 'kill', 'self', 'like', 'tonight', 'know', 'impulsive', 'decision', 'strong', 'never', 'feel', 'love', 'connection', 'anyone', 'point', 'living', 'life', 'alone']
146
['suicidal', 'need', 'express', 'reason', 'want', 'die', 'believe', 'reason', 'sufficient', 'dont', 'want', 'talk', 'thinking', 'talking', 'specific', 'make', 'feel', 'worse', 'chronic', 'willnesses', 'along', 'host', 'problem', 'life', 'circumstance', 'hope', 'better', 'future', 'parent', 'dont', 'understand', 'difficult', 'live', 'tell', 'tell', 'maybe', 'miracle', 'make', 'better', 'know', 'possible', 'denial', 'insist', 'god', 'help', 'course', 'ridiculous', 'want', 'die', 'cant', 'think', 'reliable', 'wayi', 'scared', 'failing', 'situation', 'cant', 'even', 'make', 'attempt', 'needed', 'let', 'thanks', 'reading', 'anyone', 'wish', 'world', 'wa', 'fair', 'place', 'god', 'etc', 'like', 'parent', 'think', 'know', 'better']
77
['tonight', 'night', 'need', 'way', 'let', 'family', 'know', 'without', 'hurting', 'live', 'anymore', 'ive', 'lost', 'everything', 'cant', 'go', 'suffering', 'like', 'gaping', 'wound', 'plan', 'accident', 'tonight', 'least', 'life', 'insurance', 'left', 'behind', 'need', 'way', 'let', 'family', 'know', 'love', 'know', 'hurt', 'wont', 'forever', 'want', 'know', 'suffering', 'happy', 'wherever', 'go', 'next', 'know', 'happy', 'leave', 'video', 'want', 'knowi', 'amhappy', 'choice', 'note', 'wont', 'sum']
56
['enough', 'life', 'amjust', 'done', 'killing', 'hard', 'know', 'mother', 'devastated', 'cant', 'take', 'anymore', 'everything', 'shit', 'feel', 'empty', 'emotionless', 'yeah', 'thats']
19
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254
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19
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287
['friend', 'family', 'one', 'care', 'mei', 'amliving', 'dream', 'kill', 'without', 'hurting', 'anyone', 'tied', 'rope', 'minute', 'ago', 'realisation', 'thati', 'amabout', 'die', 'without', 'hurting', 'another', 'human', 'wa', 'like', 'old', 'feeling', 'excitement', 'anticipation', 'havent', 'felt', 'many', 'many', 'yearsim', 'finally', 'dying']
36
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98
['losing', 'mind', 'please', 'make', 'stop', 'cant', 'believe', 'low', 'ive', 'fallen', 'cannot', 'sleep', 'self', 'hatred', 'applied', 'leave', 'absence', 'university', 'feel', 'awful', 'want', 'throw', 'bad', 'grade', 'fear', 'wasting', 'time', 'tuition', 'money', 'life', 'humiliating', 'cant', 'stand', 'promise', 'family', 'harm', 'honestly', 'wish', 'someone', 'killed', 'mei', 'sorry', 'never', 'wanted', 'thing', 'go', 'wrong', 'dont', 'thinki', 'amever', 'going', 'recover', 'please', 'someone', 'kill']
55
['drinking', 'habit', 'noticed', 'drinking', 'pattern', 'ha', 'changed', 'noticed', 'somewhat', 'half', 'year', 'ago', 'became', 'destructive', 'drinking', 'could', 'handlewith', 'became', 'prone', 'want', 'drink', 'especially', 'felt', 'bad', 'depressed', 'time', 'remember', 'drinking', 'take', 'life', 'ended', 'passing', 'instead', 'dont', 'think', 'others', 'noticed', 'since', 'often', 'drink', 'alone', 'good', 'though', 'drink', 'socially', 'people', 'often', 'ask', 'ifi', 'amok', 'respond', 'thati', 'amjust', 'tired', 'try', 'drink', 'strong', 'pull', 'towards', 'want', 'numb', 'whateveri', 'amfeeling', 'thinking']
64
['send', 'sad', 'suicide', 'story', 'could', 'personal', 'attempt', 'something', 'witnessed', 'story', 'somebody', 'close', 'aftereffect', 'anything', 'remind', 'isnt', 'appropriate', 'solution']
18
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187
['update', 'side', 'hell', 'yes', 'ha', 'numerous', 'bout', 'ups', 'bad', 'worse', 'know', 'whati', 'amsaying', 'people', 'dont', 'explain', 'odds', 'youre', 'right', 'welli', 'nothats', 'gloating', 'attempting', 'make', 'feel', 'worse', 'obviously', 'opposite', 'wa', 'still', 'indescribable', 'reprieve', 'desire', 'immediately', 'end', 'life', 'fucking', 'happenedi', 'promised', 'tomorrow', 'today', 'dont', 'want', 'diefor', 'first', 'time', 'year', 'got', 'older', 'get', 'little', 'better', 'thing', 'last', 'year', 'thati', 'amam', 'grateful', 'appreciative', 'ofand', 'say', 'get', 'better', 'point', 'might', 'every', 'minute', 'every', 'day', 'decision', 'made', 'around', 'directly', 'effect', 'life', 'one', 'decision', 'could', 'spark', 'lead', 'burning', 'desire', 'stay', 'alive', 'disagree', 'want', 'fact', 'swear', 'chance', 'chance', 'hope', 'hope', 'know', 'unbelievably', 'good', 'hope', 'feelthis', 'talking', 'month', 'ago', 'maybe', 'well', 'keep', 'fighting', 'likely', 'capable', 'ever', 'imagine', 'im']
109
['last', 'dayi', 'amalive', 'ama', 'planning', 'opening', 'wrist', 'arm', 'hopefully', 'bleed', 'death']
11
['friend', 'cutting', 'saying', 'going', 'gone', 'soon', 'usually', 'know', 'situation', 'help', 'somebody', 'case', 'dont', 'know', 'suddenly', 'started', 'cutting', 'told', 'problem', 'week', 'ago', 'ive', 'known', 'person', 'like', 'year', 'amscared', 'lose']
28
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297
['people', 'much', 'better', 'life', 'quite', 'unpleasant', 'see', 'people', 'far', 'better', 'life', 'almost', 'wish', 'could', 'like', 'main', 'issue', 'physical', 'appearance', 'always', 'wont', 'go', 'indepth', 'ive', 'talked', 'damn', 'issue', 'many', 'time', 'basically', 'see', 'mirror', 'want', 'die', 'saw', 'mirror', 'today', 'surprise', 'surprise', 'want', 'die', 'go', 'browsing', 'web', 'find', 'goodlooking', 'people', 'goodlooking', 'people', 'talking', 'goodlooking', 'pity', 'ugly', 'life', 'must', 'impossible', 'theyre', 'right', 'impossible', 'personally', 'really', 'cant', 'take', 'much', 'longer', 'odd', 'thing', 'dont', 'even', 'feel', 'sad', 'depressed', 'anything', 'feel', 'really', 'empty', 'alone', 'weird', 'pressure', 'throat', 'know', 'cant', 'anything', 'face', 'know', 'got', 'unlucky', 'fucking', 'reason', 'whole', 'family', 'attractive', 'guess', 'ive', 'sort', 'accepted', 'fact', 'nowbut', 'accepted', 'wrong', 'manner', 'genuinely', 'want', 'end', 'end', 'feeling', 'emptiness', 'loneliness', 'thats', 'know', 'life', 'never', 'good', 'life', 'average', 'goodlooking', 'person', 'might', 'well', 'quit', 'tryingwhy', 'posting', 'dont', 'know', 'chance', 'arei', 'cowardly', 'actually', 'make', 'life', 'even', 'trap', 'suppose', 'posted', 'get', 'insight', 'maybe', 'attention', 'whether', 'positive', 'negative', 'dont', 'really', 'get', 'talk', 'problem', 'often', 'real', 'life', 'thanks', 'reading', 'youre', 'willing', 'talk', 'despite', 'completely', 'pointless', 'id', 'course', 'appreciative', 'know', 'hire', 'shrink', 'amjust', 'student', 'money', 'one']
167
['stuck', 'sitting', 'place', 'full', 'triggering', 'paraphernalia', 'every', 'night', 'marinade', 'bad', 'thing', 'ha', 'transgressed', 'friend', 'one', 'partner', 'partner', 'generally', 'forever', 'deserves', 'better', 'mess', 'endi', 'going', 'pull', 'trigger', 'ori', 'going', 'hangout', 'couple', 'tree', 'matter', 'whenprofessional', 'help', 'far', 'expensive', 'brain', 'enjoys', 'tormenting', 'much', 'truly', 'functional', 'think', 'want', 'wrong', 'want', 'believe', 'horrible', 'memory', 'feeling', 'eventually', 'stay', 'little', 'lost', 'memory', 'file', 'back', 'mind', 'tip', 'cope']
60
['think', 'going', 'kill', 'year', 'old', 'male', 'herei', 'dont', 'know', 'father', 'left', 'wa', 'year', 'old', 'wa', 'negligent', 'disconnected', 'alcoholic', 'wa', 'kid', 'mom', 'used', 'abuse', 'relentlessly', 'would', 'beat', 'belt', 'extension', 'chord', 'punch', 'face', 'tell', 'mei', 'amstupid', 'burned', 'cigarette', 'timesits', 'taken', 'year', 'pay', 'student', 'loan', 'debt', 'degree', 'completely', 'useless', 'live', 'poverty', 'hurt', 'knee', 'month', 'ago', 'cant', 'even', 'manual', 'labour', 'job', 'used', 'get', 'byeverything', 'seems', 'completely', 'hopeless', 'clue', 'totally', 'atomised', 'family', 'support', 'live', 'pay', 'check', 'pay', 'check', 'cause', 'living', 'high', 'even', 'though', 'work', 'hour', 'week', 'barely', 'scraping', 'whenever', 'start', 'get', 'ahead', 'something', 'bad', 'happens', 'month', 'ago', 'shell', 'dollar', 'get', 'car', 'fixed', 'needed', 'new', 'control', 'arm', 'plus', 'new', 'tire', 'plus', 'alignment', 'tow', 'need', 'new', 'muffler', 'pas', 'emission', 'test', 'cannot', 'legally', 'drive', 'work', 'knee', 'get', 'betteri', 'grinding', 'like', 'mad', 'man', 'shelling', 'physio', 'therapy', 'get', 'knee', 'fixed', 'costing', 'ton', 'dont', 'laid', 'bed', 'month', 'wont', 'able', 'work', 'wont', 'able', 'pay', 'renti', 'bank', 'account', 'need', 'last', 'rest', 'monthlife', 'exhausting', 'work', 'hard', 'never', 'pull', 'pitim', 'sad', 'anything', 'hopeless', 'depressed', 'stuckthere', 'escape']
161
['amdone', 'life', 'dont', 'want', 'sympathy', 'someone', 'listen', 'give', 'advice', 'today', 'ha', 'worst', 'lowest', 'point', 'life', 'story', 'worth', 'suicidal', 'know', 'life', 'beautiful', 'betrayed', 'colleague', 'recently', 'started', 'company', 'colleague', 'super', 'nice', 'naive', 'engage', 'gossip', 'poured', 'heart', 'enough', 'tell', 'everything', 'always', 'gossip', 'bos', 'telling', 'psycho', 'bos', 'much', 'hate', 'honestly', 'didnt', 'like', 'bos', 'either', 'thought', 'mutual', 'trust', 'told', 'next', 'day', 'thing', 'turned', 'real', 'bad', 'bos', 'told', 'everything', 'told', 'colleague', 'told', 'worse', 'even', 'said', 'backstabbed', 'wasnt', 'behaviour', 'wa', 'unacceptable', 'knew', 'much', 'crap', 'wa', 'talked', 'behind', 'back', 'colleague', 'much', 'laughter', 'secret', 'shared', 'wa', 'fake', 'lie', 'cant', 'trust', 'one', 'amdone', 'family', 'told', 'wa', 'upset', 'jobless', 'said', 'wa', 'fault', 'shouldve', 'kept', 'mouth', 'shut', 'cause', 'trouble', 'much', 'thinking', 'person', 'could', 'talk', 'wa', 'family', 'throw', 'rock', 'heart', 'ended', 'breaking', 'left', 'house', 'call', 'nothing', 'dont', 'even', 'give', 'crap', 'money', 'jobless', 'struggling', 'love', 'life', 'ugly', 'bit', 'chubby', 'due', 'stressed', 'comfort', 'food', 'ive', 'lacked', 'self', 'image', 'love', 'whole', 'life', 'hate', 'every', 'date', 'ive', 'guy', 'wont', 'look', 'beyond', 'look', 'want', 'skinny', 'girl', 'told', 'ive', 'great', 'personality', 'apparently', 'men', 'hot', 'woman', 'day', 'ive', 'single', 'age', 'luck', 'maybe', 'something', 'wrong', 'mei', 'amtotally', 'done', 'life', 'uselessi', 'dont', 'know', 'see', 'life', 'mess', 'every', 'aspect', 'honest', 'opinion', 'die']
189
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127
['feel', 'like', 'husk', 'person', 'see', 'reason', 'go', 'cant', 'dont', 'know', 'people', 'ive', 'piss', 'easy', 'life', 'still', 'cant', 'fucking', 'ive', 'set', 'success', 'every', 'turn', 'ive', 'failed', 'every', 'god', 'damn', 'one', 'shouldnt', 'borni', 'dont', 'care', 'anything', 'dont', 'care', 'eat', 'live', 'idea', 'people', 'actively', 'choose', 'go', 'fun', 'pick', 'eat', 'mind', 'boggling', 'waking', 'momenti', 'bitter', 'fuck', 'passion', 'anything', 'anyone', 'like', 'since', 'middle', 'schoolive', 'tried', 'every', 'legal', 'drug', 'depression', 'effecti', 'amdiagnosed', 'gad', 'ocd', 'probable', 'aspergers', 'severe', 'hypochondriac', 'thousand', 'hospital', 'bill', 'nothing', 'anxiety', 'willnesses', 'countless', 'test', 'dropped', 'community', 'college', 'becausei', 'ama', 'lazy', 'piece', 'shit', 'never', 'made', 'friend', 'highschool', 'got', 'first', 'retail', 'job', 'year', 'ago', 'hate', 'dont', 'hate', 'working', 'hate', 'cant', 'function', 'cant', 'process', 'information', 'like', 'people', 'process', 'iti', 'amalways', 'confused', 'cant', 'seem', 'grasp', 'thing', 'come', 'naturally', 'everyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'god', 'damn', 'alien', 'human', 'skin', 'climate', 'change', 'depresses', 'daily', 'amethically', 'opposed', 'job', 'stocking', 'thousand', 'box', 'plastic', 'shit', 'chinese', 'industrial', 'hellhole', 'every', 'moment', 'driving', 'car', 'releasing', 'fume', 'make', 'hate', 'survive', 'guessoh', 'alsoi', 'ama', 'virgin', 'kissless', 'never', 'held', 'actual', 'conversation', 'someonei', 'amattracted', 'toi', 'god', 'damn', 'lonely', 'dont', 'expect', 'romance', 'facti', 'far', 'removed', 'hilarious', 'anything', 'real', 'kicker', 'think', 'mild', 'gender', 'dysphoria', 'realized', 'last', 'year', 'doesnt', 'matter', 'thoughi', 'built', 'like', 'fridge', 'would', 'visibly', 'trans', 'entire', 'life', 'get', 'worse', 'age', 'anyways', 'cant', 'see', 'alive', 'year', 'either', 'way', 'dont', 'know', 'happened', 'people', 'would', 'kill', 'born', 'position', 'feel', 'likei', 'amjust', 'prolonging', 'suffering', 'good', 'reason', 'people', 'chronic', 'condition', 'still', 'enjoy', 'living', 'inspite', 'pain', 'yet', 'completely', 'averse', 'life']
233
['lost', 'willing', 'die', 'ive', 'anxiety', 'disorder', 'since', 'wa', 'recently', 'thing', 'become', 'much', 'worse', 'got', 'depressed', 'many', 'problem', 'life', 'related', 'caused', 'mental', 'willness', 'lost', 'love', 'wa', 'person', 'could', 'understand', 'state', 'wa', 'managed', 'destroy', 'also', 'feel', 'different', 'everyone', 'around', 'ha', 'going', 'since', 'remember', 'feel', 'like', 'people', 'least', 'someone', 'talk', 'someone', 'trust', 'dont', 'always', 'struggled', 'sort', 'loneliness', 'differentness', 'thought', 'death', 'seriously', 'consider', 'ask', 'anyone', 'survive', 'feel', 'understood']
64
['next', 'week', 'either', 'painkiller', 'jumping', 'train', 'life', 'suck', 'lowgifted', 'autistic', 'future']
11
['sorry', 'need', 'help', 'boyfriend', 'said', 'lose', 'weight', 'know', 'thati', 'amcurrently', 'battling', 'depression', 'wa', 'starting', 'feel', 'better', 'loved', 'please', 'help', 'experience', 'bipolar', 'wayhighs', 'lowsalways', 'feeling', 'better', 'worse', 'stability', 'lot', 'body', 'type', 'always', 'controllable', 'reason', 'society', 'judge', 'think', 'start', 'work', 'tap', 'natural', 'endorphin', 'find', 'workout', 'sport', 'fun', 'even', 'effective']
47
['ready', 'take', 'damage', 'life', 'ha', 'easy', 'yeah', 'realize', 'everyone', 'ha', 'hardship', 'bad', 'good', 'accumulation', 'ha', 'broke', 'clear', 'commit', 'suicide', 'youll', 'never', 'read', 'post', 'asking', 'help', 'done', 'death', 'doesnt', 'frightening', 'feeli', 'still', 'chance', 'give', 'world', 'something', 'positive', 'said', 'want', 'share', 'brief', 'summary', 'life', 'might', 'repeat', 'mistake', 'least', 'realize', 'action', 'reaction', 'wa', 'young', 'fire', 'life', 'wa', 'happy', 'full', 'opportunity', 'thing', 'group', 'beating', 'molestation', 'general', 'used', 'human', 'toilet', 'paper', 'lost', 'fire', 'time', 'wa', 'teenager', 'started', 'using', 'drug', 'gave', 'escape', 'friend', 'even', 'though', 'wa', 'developing', 'substance', 'abuse', 'problem', 'also', 'lived', 'weight', 'lifting', 'became', 'national', 'powerlifting', 'champion', 'beautiful', 'girlfriend', 'early', 'twenty', 'lost', 'girlfriend', 'wrecked', 'car', 'wa', 'put', 'pain', 'killer', 'around', 'time', 'started', 'selling', 'volume', 'amount', 'weed', 'cocaine', 'pain', 'killer', 'became', 'everything', 'business', 'dealing', 'allowed', 'unimaginable', 'habit', 'eventually', 'habit', 'took', 'couldnt', 'keep', 'professional', 'life', 'together', 'lost', 'connection', 'moral', 'one', 'one', 'called', 'friend', 'gone', 'along', 'money', 'habit', 'persisted', 'eventually', 'wa', 'left', 'wa', 'needle', 'junkie', 'living', 'high', 'anything', 'get', 'time', 'kept', 'moving', 'hamster', 'wheel', 'kept', 'spinning', 'kid', 'decided', 'wanted', 'change', 'got', 'methadone', 'clinic', 'cleaned', 'fairly', 'well', 'time', 'never', 'really', 'lost', 'desire', 'use', 'month', 'half', 'ago', 'succession', 'bad', 'shit', 'happen', 'rapid', 'order', 'decided', 'run', 'back', 'old', 'friend', 'except', 'time', 'trip', 'back', 'must', 'fallen', 'asleep', 'head', 'hit', 'year', 'old', 'grandmother', 'car', 'killing', 'instantlynow', 'deal', 'two', 'massively', 'broke', 'leg', 'heart', 'ready', 'burst', 'grief', 'sadness', 'knowledge', 'soon', 'leaving', 'family', 'prison', 'tell', 'truth', 'dont', 'know', 'go', 'trip', 'really', 'hope', 'young', 'people', 'read', 'shortened', 'simplified', 'account', 'life', 'may', 'realize', 'dealing', 'isnt', 'bad', 'hold', 'also', 'want', 'people', 'realize', 'life', 'altering', 'decision', 'use', 'drug', 'much', 'monster', 'opiate', 'arethank', 'reading', 'god', 'bless']
255
['tired', 'year', 'thats', 'long', 'exhibiting', 'strange', 'symptom', 'diagnosed', 'mutriple', 'different', 'thing', 'lupus', 'lyme', 'disease', 'fibromyalgia', 'crohn', 'different', 'auto', 'immune', 'deficiency', 'always', 'change', 'every', 'time', 'see', 'new', 'doctor', 'fall', 'deeper', 'deeper', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'ha', 'become', 'bad', 'leave', 'house', 'one', 'complete', 'control', 'go', 'leave', 'poor', 'husband', 'breaking', 'point', 'wont', 'tell', 'right', 'demeanor', 'changed', 'drastically', 'last', 'month', 'point', 'difficult', 'look', 'see', 'look', 'say', 'youre', 'fucking', 'crazy', 'dont', 'know', 'much', 'longer', 'deal', 'know', 'depression', 'health', 'issue', 'pushing', 'leave', 'world', 'becoming', 'increasingly', 'harder', 'quiet', 'voice', 'telling', 'much', 'better', 'husband', 'kid', 'would', 'gone', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'unbelievably', 'tired', 'easy', 'would', 'make', 'stop', 'longer', 'friend', 'understandable', 'also', 'mean', 'one', 'telling', 'selfish', 'wanting', 'die', 'know', 'cant', 'go', 'much', 'longer', 'getting', 'thing', 'order', 'make', 'thing', 'simple', 'year', 'long', 'enough']
120
['unemployed', 'might', 'degree', 'revoked', 'accused', 'cheating', 'get', 'degree', 'college', 'may', 'try', 'take', 'away', 'currently', 'unemployed', 'even', 'investigation', 'would', 'mean', 'would', 'tell', 'employer', 'investigated', 'get', 'job', 'relationship', 'suffering', 'soon', 'run', 'money', 'move', 'home', 'feel', 'completely', 'overwhelmed', 'sometimes', 'struggle', 'state', 'mind', 'best', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'much', 'handle']
45
['mental', 'health', 'worker', 'yearsmight', 'need', 'help', 'ive', 'worked', 'youth', 'adult', 'year', 'big', 'part', 'job', 'wa', 'offering', 'suicide', 'prevention', 'resource', 'hoped', 'never', 'needed', 'right', 'might', 'tonight', 'plan', 'intention', 'know', 'thing', 'start', 'enough', 'know', 'wont', 'log', 'wheni', 'amready', 'trying', 'make', 'sure', 'chat', 'line', 'full', 'sure', 'else', 'go', 'nothing', 'happening', 'tonight', 'please', 'help', 'folk', 'urgent']
52
['third', 'attempt', 'year', 'hi', 'swi', 'txusa', 'day', 'ago', 'tried', 'overdose', 'sleeping', 'med', 'alcoholi', 'wa', 'heavily', 'intoxicated', 'made', 'attempt', 'argument', 'friend', 'wa', 'recipe', 'disasteri', 'knew', 'combination', 'took', 'would', 'kill', 'intended', 'die', 'overdose', 'intention', 'wa', 'quite', 'mean', 'successfuli', 'dont', 'think', 'significant', 'adverse', 'effect', 'overdose', 'aside', 'feeling', 'tiredi', 'cannot', 'seek', 'medical', 'attention', 'may', 'lose', 'access', 'prescription', 'adhd', 'enables', 'function', 'currently', 'adhd', 'med', 'may', 'another', 'negative', 'effect', 'moodi', 'ssri', 'around', 'month', 'ha', 'improved', 'moodhowever', 'ive', 'read', 'antidepressant', 'paroxetine', 'cause', 'slightly', 'increased', 'chance', 'suicidal', 'behavior', 'patient', 'may', 'played', 'role', 'attempt', 'increase', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'since', 'starting', 'paroxetinei', 'likely', 'talk', 'doctor', 'increase', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'switch', 'another', 'ssrii', 'dont', 'know', 'wrote', 'thisi', 'able', 'see', 'therapist', 'guess', 'thats', 'posted', 'able', 'vent', 'emotion', 'thought']
114
['graduate', 'high', 'school', 'think', 'emd', 'myselfi', 'absolute', 'wreck', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'nobody', 'talk', 'dont', 'driver', 'license', 'job', 'people', 'keep', 'bugging', 'hardly', 'schoolwork', 'usually', 'sleep', 'class', 'cut', 'myselfthe', 'anxiety', 'keep', 'going', 'looking', 'work', 'starting', 'get', 'license', 'think', 'id', 'die', 'pressure', 'dont', 'know', 'handle', 'dont', 'anybody', 'talk', 'feel', 'lonely', 'dont', 'think', 'friend', 'care', 'rightfully', 'sowhen', 'graduate', 'high', 'school', 'cant', 'live', 'parent', 'anymore', 'cant', 'get', 'something', 'cant', 'bear', 'anything', 'anymore', 'think', 'kill']
68
['almost', 'done', 'end', 'life', 'accepted', 'inevitable', 'event', 'contemplated', 'thought', 'year', 'looked', 'past', 'present', 'future', 'ive', 'considered', 'variable', 'decision', 'make', 'sense', 'completed', 'letter', 'took', 'year', 'finish', 'every', 'word', 'want', 'say', 'every', 'thought', 'want', 'convey', 'want', 'least', 'give', 'perspective', 'happen', 'inevitable', 'rational', 'choice', 'researched', 'everything', 'material', 'already', 'took', 'picture', 'funeral', 'place', 'risk', 'happen', 'people', 'around', 'environment', 'afraid', 'death', 'pain', 'acquiring', 'owned', 'gun', 'would', 'shot', 'already', 'finished', 'giving', 'closure', 'reason', 'death', 'want', 'die', 'none', 'question', 'skeptic', 'want', 'thoughtout', 'decision', 'deeply', 'thought', 'trying', 'every', 'reason', 'stay', 'alive', 'significant', 'reason', 'tie', 'world', 'almost', 'done', 'preparation', 'biggest', 'relief', 'life', 'satisfied', 'twenty', 'year', 'living', 'reconciled', 'feeling', 'regret', 'couldnt', 'guilt', 'happen', 'dead', 'alive', 'feeling', 'always', 'exist']
108
['freaking', 'tired', 'something', 'terribly', 'wrong', 'dont', 'know', 'cant', 'seem', 'get', 'anything', 'right', 'friendship', 'family', 'politics', 'job', 'nothing', 'seems', 'right', 'feel', 'likei', 'amdrowning', 'likei', 'amconstantly', 'attack', 'like', 'people', 'get', 'prove', 'worthless', 'really', 'come', 'friendshipsi', 'amthe', 'one', 'friend', 'everyone', 'talk', 'need', 'something', 'come', 'relationship', 'guy', 'never', 'pay', 'attention', 'one', 'even', 'said', 'becausei', 'pretty', 'interesting', 'enoughi', 'tired', 'feeling', 'way', 'ive', 'gotten', 'psychiatric', 'help', 'feel', 'like', 'roller', 'coaster', 'sure', 'handle', 'rest', 'life', 'somebody', 'asks', 'howi', 'say', 'fine', 'feel', 'like', 'id', 'burden', 'tell', 'really', 'feeli', 'amscared', 'killing', 'though', 'want', 'think', 'somebody', 'would', 'care', 'sure', 'would', 'case', 'guess', 'need', 'someone', 'listen', 'becausei', 'really', 'sure', 'want', 'die', 'yet']
101
['wont', 'iti', 'amjust', 'ive', 'told', 'story', 'many', 'time', 'anyone', 'care', 'bad', 'luck', 'nice', 'try', 'convince', 'otherwise', 'might', 'little', 'bit', 'people', 'bad', 'lucki', 'scared', 'feel', 'physical', 'pain', 'think', 'though', 'try', 'stuff', 'disract', 'ever', 'distraction', 'want', 'say', 'somewhere', 'thati', 'amherei', 'going', 'bed', 'long', 'day', 'tomorrow', 'thanks', 'reading']
45
['sweating', 'surgery', 'year', 'ago', 'surgery', 'called', 'endoscopic', 'thoracic', 'sympathectomy', 'ets', 'wa', 'meant', 'stop', 'palm', 'underarms', 'sweating', 'wa', 'told', 'wa', 'reversible', 'going', 'clip', 'nerve', 'instead', 'cut', 'wasnt', 'told', 'side', 'effect', 'trusted', 'doctorssome', 'time', 'surgery', 'learned', 'many', 'people', 'experience', 'known', 'compensatory', 'sweating', 'c', 'sweating', 'might', 'stop', 'one', 'area', 'sweat', 'another', 'area', 'usually', 'happens', 'right', 'away', 'sometimes', 'take', 'year', 'start', 'also', 'learned', 'ets', 'irreversible', 'even', 'clip', 'damage', 'nerve', 'ha', 'donefor', 'year', 'didnt', 'experience', 'c', 'past', 'year', 'ha', 'made', 'life', 'absolute', 'hell', 'sweat', 'profusely', 'leg', 'buttock', 'back', 'face', 'feel', 'lied', 'cheated', 'doctor', 'wish', 'could', 'go', 'back', 'surgery', 'sweat', 'body', 'rest', 'life', 'never', 'would', 'done', 'knew', 'risksi', 'heard', 'drug', 'called', 'anticholinergic', 'stop', 'sweat', 'also', 'stop', 'body', 'secretion', 'like', 'saliva', 'causing', 'dry', 'mouth', 'sore', 'throat', 'tried', 'couple', 'week', 'success', 'started', 'experience', 'muscle', 'twitch', 'body', 'searching', 'discovered', 'muscle', 'twitch', 'unlisted', 'side', 'effect', 'anticholinergic', 'use', 'ha', 'month', 'still', 'experience', 'almost', 'constant', 'muscle', 'twitch', 'despite', 'stopping', 'med', 'started', 'ive', 'developed', 'insomnia', 'cant', 'sleep', 'due', 'muscle', 'twitchesat', 'point', 'feel', 'like', 'life', 'ha', 'ruined', 'absolutely', 'hopeless', 'cant', 'normal', 'relationship', 'anyone', 'stigma', 'sweaty', 'doctor', 'answer', 'besides', 'different', 'anticholinergic', 'drug', 'hesitant', 'try', 'point', 'still', 'twitch', 'body', 'internet', 'found', 'doctor', 'taiwan', 'doe', 'procedure', 'stop', 'sweating', 'specifically', 'caused', 'surgery', 'wanted', 'treat', 'body', 'would', 'someone', 'unemployed', 'finished', 'college', 'cant', 'even', 'imagine', 'paying', 'even', 'finding', 'job', 'pointive', 'two', 'psychologist', 'neither', 'helpful', 'theyve', 'essentially', 'told', 'deal', 'nothing', 'theyve', 'said', 'help', 'cope', 'ha', 'use', 'second', 'one', 'said', 'explaining', 'happened', 'suck', 'made', 'upseti', 'probably', 'would', 'killed', 'wasnt', 'parent', 'slight', 'hope', 'something', 'might', 'make', 'tolerable', 'already', 'bodyimage', 'issue', 'made', 'extremely', 'depressed', 'prior', 'c', 'starting', 'ive', 'talked', 'mom', 'problem', 'made', 'promise', 'id', 'keep', 'trying', 'find', 'something', 'help', 'know', 'died', 'would', 'kill', 'well', 'care', 'kid', 'anything', 'else', 'already', 'suffers', 'depression', 'due', 'medical', 'problem', 'cause', 'physical', 'pain', 'love', 'mom', 'much', 'hurt', 'difficult', 'keep', 'going', 'nobody', 'else', 'understands', 'wish', 'never', 'surgery', 'doneif', 'anyone', 'actually', 'took', 'time', 'read', 'thank', 'appreciate', 'hoped', 'writing', 'experience', 'felt', 'would', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'dont', 'know', 'really', 'ha']
316
['enough', 'please', 'life', 'stop', 'alreadyi', 'sick', 'shit', 'cant', 'keep', 'cant', 'keep', 'anymore', 'taking', 'everything', 'power', 'walk', 'door', 'plan', 'afraid', 'long', 'doesnt', 'wake', 'find', 'body', 'cant', 'learn', 'fair', 'himi', 'cant', 'take', 'thing', 'pace', 'people', 'get', 'mad', 'try', 'say', 'need', 'need', 'arent', 'worth', 'iti', 'worth', 'one', 'last', 'cuddle', 'head', 'tomorrow', 'weekend', 'could', 'figure', 'outi', 'much', 'emotion', 'cant', 'anything', 'trying', 'fix', 'thing', 'make', 'worse', 'cant', 'keep', 'one', 'sleeptomorrow', 'get', 'withwhy', 'even', 'posting', 'thisi', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'maybe', 'record', 'outburst', 'exists', 'maybe', 'feel', 'like', 'something', 'say', 'matter', 'tonight', 'something', 'feel', 'matter', 'alli', 'know', 'fair', 'still', 'grievingi', 'amsuch', 'selfish', 'thati', 'sorryi', 'amjust', 'weak', 'need', 'bedthis', 'much']
101
['interesting', 'situation', 'would', 'consider', 'person', 'risk', 'suicide', 'recently', 'life', 'go', 'downhill', 'quite', 'bit', 'quite', 'stesses', 'effecting', 'including', 'anxiety', 'issue', 'though', 'think', 'mild', 'dont', 'really', 'experience', 'panic', 'attack', 'catastrophic', 'thinking', 'amongst', 'thingsi', 'think', 'id', 'cowardly', 'actually', 'commit', 'suicide', 'wa', 'feeling', 'really', 'thought', 'hard', 'reason', 'actually', 'keep', 'living', 'suicide', 'would', 'surely', 'make', 'life', 'easierdunno', 'genuinely', 'cannot', 'answer', 'question', 'surprised', 'time']
58
['song', 'repeat', 'got', 'song', 'repeati', 'amjust', 'sitting', 'dark', 'room', 'music', 'playingi', 'amready', 'tried', 'telling', 'step', 'mom', 'wanted', 'die', 'laughed', 'dont', 'judge', 'step', 'son', 'would', 'never', 'kill', 'dont', 'qant', 'blame', 'anyone', 'thinki', 'amjust', 'sick', 'never', 'looked', 'help', 'wa', 'downfallim', 'ready', 'grandma', 'coming', 'hour', 'dont', 'want', 'see', 'anythingi', 'sorry', 'love', 'hope', 'see', 'please', 'dont', 'trace', 'dont', 'go', 'dont', 'want', 'anybody', 'know', 'everything', 'planned', 'want', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'requires', 'time', 'dont', 'guess']
69
['amon', 'antidepressant', 'amphetamine', 'living', 'grandparent', 'one', 'trust', 'alone', 'trying', 'make', 'life', 'worth', 'living', 'cant', 'want', 'desire', 'death', 'time', 'nothing', 'change', 'thati', 'pursue', 'hobby', 'try', 'find', 'people', 'enjoy', 'spend', 'time', 'play', 'game', 'eat', 'healthy', 'exercise', 'take', 'med', 'read', 'meditate', 'try', 'healthy', 'behaviour', 'hope', 'eventually', 'make', 'life', 'okay', 'doesnt', 'doesntim', 'fat', 'hideous', 'worthless', 'boring', 'person', 'one', 'ha', 'ever', 'could', 'ever', 'enjoy', 'every', 'friend', 'ive', 'ha', 'hurt', 'hated', 'wish', 'could', 'know', 'could', 'fix', 'never', 'tell', 'try', 'overbearing', 'dont', 'tell', 'people', 'depressioni', 'amopen', 'honest', 'spend', 'life', 'valuesbut', 'isolation', 'hell', 'one', 'dont', 'think', 'anything', 'done', 'live', 'life', 'suicide', 'isnt', 'palatable', 'optionplease', 'help', 'dont', 'know']
99
['please', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'like', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'friend', 'arent', 'even', 'friend', 'anymore', 'feel', 'like', 'dont', 'care', 'havent', 'talk', 'day', 'none', 'worried', 'unlike', 'person', 'friend', 'group', 'would', 'freak', 'little', 'feel', 'like', 'ive', 'ever', 'one', 'real', 'friend', 'rarely', 'talk', 'thought', 'killing', 'dailyi', 'amscared', 'might', 'dont', 'motivation', 'anything', 'anymore', 'ive', 'stopped', 'homework', 'dont', 'really', 'like', 'anything', 'anymore', 'want', 'school', 'done', 'actually', 'fucking', 'sleep', 'thats', 'thing', 'like', 'anymore', 'sleep', 'really', 'wish', 'didnt', 'exist', 'please', 'help', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'like', 'anymorei', 'amjust', 'tired', 'life', 'doesnt', 'help', 'mum', 'think', 'normal', 'since', 'ha', 'depression', 'think', 'since', 'deal']
92
['write', 'room', 'door', 'shouldi', 'going', 'commit', 'suicide', 'using', 'helium', 'whats', 'best', 'way', 'write', 'something', 'staff', 'call', 'cop', 'instead', 'entering', 'room', 'dont', 'want', 'anyone', 'traumatizednot', 'contemplate']
25
['feeling', 'sad', 'feeling', 'sad', 'lately', 'year', 'old', 'school', 'really', 'stress', 'trouble', 'coping', 'exception', 'class', 'going', 'grade', 'really', 'feeling', 'could', 'hang', 'mean', 'whats', 'point', 'like', 'gonna', 'missed', 'barely', 'friend', 'everyone', 'hate']
30
['considered', 'suicide', 'friend', 'really', 'depressed', 'ha', 'genetic', 'disease', 'basically', 'ticking', 'time', 'bomb', 'want', 'let', 'disease', 'course', 'doesnt', 'heart', 'ive', 'trying', 'talk', 'going', 'back', 'doctor', 'trying', 'manage', 'disease', 'wont', 'listen', 'want', 'help', 'ha', 'three', 'kid', 'shes', 'basically', 'setting', 'die', 'sooner']
39
['alone', 'depressed', 'control', 'everything', 'life', 'awful', 'want', 'pain', 'existing', 'stop', 'matter', 'everyone', 'thinksi', 'amstupid', 'one', 'care', 'every', 'one', 'busy', 'put', 'want', 'end', 'stop', 'bothering', 'everyonenothing', 'helpsi', 'ampoor', 'cant', 'afford', 'helpi', 'religious', 'dont', 'believe', 'basicallyi', 'amsick', 'people', 'telling', 'get', 'better', 'totally', 'doesnt', 'ive', 'tried', 'getting', 'friend', 'girl', 'like', 'give', 'becausei', 'uninteresting', 'piece', 'shit', 'want', 'die', 'bad', 'place', 'worldi', 'amafraid', 'suicide', 'almost', 'hate', 'living', 'nothing', 'good', 'ha', 'happened', 'within', 'month']
68
['need', 'thing', 'better', 'ive', 'suffering', 'ten', 'year', 'life', 'absolute', 'shit', 'matter', 'doi', 'ambroken', 'cant', 'try', 'need', 'miracle', 'good', 'thing', 'happen', 'never', 'doe']
22
['starting', 'get', 'bad', 'month', 'amstarting', 'feel', 'way', 'dont', 'wanna', 'go', 'back', 'hospital', 'damn', 'hard']
14
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19
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262
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306
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53
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264
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48
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11
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221
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139
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143
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75
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38
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50
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95
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295
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160
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95
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46
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47
['cant', 'shake', 'feeling', 'thought', 'truly', 'alone', 'ive', 'struggling', 'lot', 'lately', 'say', 'friend', 'cant', 'shake', 'feeling', 'really', 'truly', 'alone', 'journey', 'thati', 'amundertaking', 'become', 'best', 'self', 'really', 'lonely', 'onei', 'ampretty', 'shy', 'reserved', 'harder', 'get', 'talk', 'peoplei', 'also', 'estranged', 'family', 'plan', 'reconcile', 'situation', 'complicated', 'recently', 'broke', 'someone', 'deeply', 'care', 'due', 'insecurity', 'lack', 'faith', 'relationship', 'idea', 'hell', 'take', 'back', 'honestly', 'want', 'feel', 'likei', 'messed', 'toxic', 'anyone', 'want', 'withi', 'run', 'away', 'constantly', 'good', 'thing', 'life', 'becausei', 'scared', 'future', 'ifs', 'thing', 'fall', 'aparti', 'dont', 'know', 'feel', 'spiraling', 'really', 'want', 'end', 'pain', 'suffering', 'keep', 'coming', 'back', 'one', 'bad', 'decision', 'away']
93
['know', 'get', 'hole', 'work', 'night', 'shift', 'warehouse', 'parent', 'tell', 'quit', 'come', 'home', 'really', 'exhausted', 'hour', 'night', 'tell', 'money', 'really', 'thing', 'keep', 'thinking', 'self', 'harm', 'suicide', 'time', 'hate', 'much']
28
['nothing', 'matter', 'used', 'love', 'everything', 'got', 'nothing', 'school', 'put', 'best', 'effort', 'everything', 'even', 'though', 'parent', 'divorced', 'didnt', 'many', 'friend', 'wa', 'finenow', 'thati', 'th', 'grade', 'everything', 'ha', 'changed', 'dont', 'purpose', 'well', 'school', 'every', 'failed', 'test', 'quiz', 'like', 'knife', 'heart', 'father', 'disown', 'see', 'grade', 'associate', 'africanamerican', 'people', 'even', 'though', 'think', 'insane', 'saying', 'soi', 'amthe', 'worst', 'fucking', 'daughter', 'hate', 'disappointing', 'parent', 'wa', 'got', 'live', 'someone', 'purpose', 'talent', 'beauty', 'smart', 'hope', 'mom', 'right', 'worthless', 'piece', 'shiti', 'wa', 'walking', 'school', 'morning', 'crossed', 'road', 'suddenly', 'striking', 'desire', 'lay', 'road', 'car', 'came', 'bless', 'sweet', 'release', 'longing', 'point', 'one', 'care', 'anyway', 'moved', 'area', 'year', 'ago', 'one', 'would', 'bat', 'eye', 'killed', 'people', 'moved', 'month', 'ago', 'already', 'popular', 'many', 'friend', 'theyre', 'beautiful', 'smart', 'unlike', 'one', 'want', 'associate', 'emotional', 'brat', 'like', 'started', 'selfharming', 'even', 'therapist', 'say', 'stress', 'shell', 'get', 'itconstantly', 'wish', 'die', 'dont', 'know', 'god', 'love', 'anymore', 'though', 'didnt', 'believe', 'god', 'whole', 'family', 'would', 'despise', 'ive', 'tried', 'calling', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'never', 'answer', 'quite', 'ridiculous', 'really', 'maybe', 'sign', 'go', 'already', 'itd', 'relief', 'family']
161
['thinki', 'amclose', 'end', 'hello', 'thinki', 'going', 'die', 'sooni', 'sure', 'ive', 'researched', 'ton', 'different', 'way', 'yet', 'settle', 'seems', 'accessible', 'wa', 'fired', 'job', 'month', 'ago', 'today', 'loved', 'job', 'understand', 'wa', 'fired', 'though', 'also', 'hate', 'iti', 'amgetting', 'evicted', 'apartment', 'cant', 'afford', 'rent', 'due', 'job', 'havent', 'trying', 'ive', 'gone', 'ten', 'interview', 'applied', 'placesi', 'amlosing', 'everything', 'found', 'new', 'home', 'dog', 'shes', 'world', 'family', 'let', 'stay', 'mom', 'claim', 'room', 'townhome', 'rest', 'small', 'family', 'doesnt', 'like', 'thati', 'amtrans', 'feel', 'like', 'burden', 'none', 'friend', 'space', 'thing', 'make', 'want', 'die', 'though', 'sister', 'committed', 'suicide', 'almost', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'best', 'friend', 'world', 'miss', 'every', 'day', 'sometimes', 'wonder', 'ifi', 'amsuffering', 'ptsd', 'poorly', 'ive', 'taken', 'everything', 'song', 'used', 'listen', 'show', 'used', 'watch', 'hell', 'even', 'phrase', 'used', 'say', 'lot', 'trigger', 'major', 'anxiety', 'episodeand', 'lately', 'like', 'never', 'ending', 'want', 'die', 'cant', 'think', 'reason', 'livei', 'going', 'homeless', 'trans', 'unemployed', 'nothing', 'name', 'matter']
137
['broken', 'soul', 'slowly', 'gaining', 'peace', 'mind', 'killing', 'year', 'depression', 'recent', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'always', 'kept', 'going', 'hoping', 'thing', 'would', 'getting', 'better', 'certain', 'point', 'suicide', 'ha', 'always', 'stuck', 'back', 'mind', 'taking', 'step', 'right', 'direction', 'getting', 'slammed', 'step', 'backi', 'nowwhen', 'going', 'get', 'better', 'mother', 'father', 'dying', 'probably', 'year', 'eachin', 'hospital', 'friend', 'wouldnt', 'really', 'care', 'passed', 'always', 'worked', 'whatever', 'job', 'could', 'find', 'tried', 'become', 'cop', 'since', 'wa', 'always', 'got', 'rejected', 'first', 'round', 'applied', 'army', 'since', 'couple', 'daysim', 'broken', 'continue', 'way', 'fucked', 'sorry', 'random', 'vent', 'thanks', 'reading']
82
['first', 'time', 'lifei', 'amactually', 'considering', 'suicide', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'anymore', 'love', 'people', 'know', 'seriously', 'dont', 'even', 'know', 'worth', 'anymorei', 'amseriously', 'considering', 'getting', 'heroin', 'feel', 'good']
25
['weight', 'crushing', 'mei', 'amsitting', 'job', 'bored', 'mind', 'decent', 'job', 'although', 'hour', 'aa', 'problem', 'ive', 'getting', 'terrible', 'sleep', 'recently', 'thats', 'probably', 'cause', 'least', 'problem', 'typically', 'go', 'home', 'sleep', 'kid', 'get', 'home', 'wake', 'go', 'bed', 'wife', 'doesnt', 'go', 'bed', 'ive', 'left', 'work', 'sleep', 'alone', 'sunthurs', 'ive', 'got', 'three', 'kid', 'feel', 'like', 'terrible', 'father', 'year', 'old', 'daughter', 'wanted', 'play', 'barbies', 'last', 'night', 'didnt', 'didnt', 'want', 'almost', 'made', 'cry', 'felt', 'wa', 'exasperation', 'wife', 'problem', 'last', 'year', 'started', 'med', 'help', 'anxiety', 'killed', 'sex', 'drive', 'month', 'trying', 'keep', 'sex', 'life', 'alive', 'stopped', 'wa', 'exhausting', 'stopped', 'taking', 'med', 'without', 'telling', 'sex', 'drive', 'came', 'back', 'id', 'already', 'checked', 'least', 'three', 'online', 'affair', 'eventually', 'found', 'math', 'wa', 'affair', 'month', 'year', 'marriage', 'wa', 'complete', 'wreck', 'almost', 'month', 'took', 'phone', 'randomly', 'check', 'scoured', 'past', 'phone', 'bill', 'evidence', 'texting', 'calling', 'noted', 'contact', 'see', 'eventually', 'decided', 'hurt', 'much', 'distrust', 'realized', 'wa', 'actually', 'happier', 'brief', 'time', 'id', 'given', 'relationship', 'focused', 'happiness', 'found', 'affair', 'realized', 'wasnt', 'couldnt', 'give', 'validation', 'needed', 'talked', 'decided', 'post', 'one', 'gonewild', 'sub', 'full', 'access', 'account', 'could', 'see', 'communication', 'even', 'tested', 'making', 'username', 'pming', 'see', 'despite', 'name', 'suggested', 'someone', 'local', 'could', 'probably', 'meet', 'panicked', 'thought', 'someone', 'might', 'find', 'wa', 'never', 'even', 'pmed', 'back', 'first', 'wa', 'posting', 'said', 'wanted', 'involved', 'wanted', 'u', 'message', 'guy', 'back', 'conversation', 'one', 'particular', 'wa', 'getting', 'little', 'personal', 'comfort', 'asked', 'stop', 'amazingly', 'started', 'posting', 'sometimes', 'posted', 'reference', 'husband', 'married', 'always', 'yesterday', 'take', 'pic', 'flashing', 'making', 'dinner', 'response', 'comment', 'asking', 'wasd', 'dinner', 'mentioned', 'wa', 'dessert', 'hubby', 'favorite', 'woke', 'alone', 'bed', 'laid', 'got', 'bed', 'went', 'upstairs', 'find', 'reading', 'couch', 'cigarette', 'together', 'porch', 'went', 'work', 'wa', 'making', 'coffee', 'saw', 'another', 'post', 'new', 'picture', 'mentioning', 'ready', 'bed', 'included', 'touching', 'reacted', 'text', 'argument', 'almost', 'three', 'looked', 'like', 'wa', 'fishing', 'guy', 'deleted', 'account', 'id', 'using', 'post', 'picture', 'commenting', 'post', 'husband', 'basically', 'told', 'wa', 'going', 'back', 'sticking', 'head', 'sand', 'letting', 'want', 'happy', 'dont', 'want', 'toi', 'tired', 'fightingi', 'tired', 'nauseated', 'thought', 'wife', 'someone', 'else', 'cant', 'eati', 'tired', 'terrible', 'husbandi', 'tired', 'terrible', 'father', 'id', 'planned', 'commit', 'suicide', 'nearly', 'year', 'ago', 'birthday', 'went', 'work', 'gun', 'planned', 'get', 'last', 'bit', 'overtime', 'drive', 'mountain', 'shoot', 'brain', 'like', 'grandfather', 'first', 'break', 'checked', 'voicemail', 'one', 'girl', 'wishing', 'happy', 'birthday', 'couldnt', 'snuck', 'gun', 'back', 'house', 'night', 'havent', 'really', 'thought', 'since', 'birthday', 'coming', 'day', 'year', 'old', 'depression', 'thats', 'untreated', 'yearsi', 'amjust', 'tired', 'point', 'wife', 'take', 'flying', 'fuck', 'rolling', 'donut', 'cant', 'kid', 'oldest', 'already', 'showing', 'sign', 'depression', 'keep', 'fighting', 'prove', 'winnable', 'fight', 'feari', 'amlosing', 'day', 'tldr', 'bunch', 'rambling', 'poor', 'bullshit']
394
['dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'dont', 'dont', 'please', 'god', 'anyone', 'listening', 'please', 'dont', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'take', 'away', 'please', 'cant', 'anymore', 'cant', 'please']
22
['someone', 'convince', 'commit', 'suicide', 'tried', 'yesterday', 'chickened', 'almost', 'made', 'way', 'stopped', 'next', 'time', 'know', 'itll', 'differenti', 'amhorribly', 'depressed', 'many', 'year', 'since', 'july', 'gotten', 'control', 'point', 'plan', 'suicide', 'daily', 'write', 'suicide', 'note', 'daily', 'well', 'everyone', 'ha', 'left', 'friend', 'including', 'best', 'friend', 'five', 'year', 'without', 'warning', 'stopped', 'talking', 'boyfriend', 'left', 'said', 'wa', 'fault', 'didnt', 'care', 'wa', 'nothing', 'started', 'college', 'gotten', 'worsei', 'debt', 'make', 'friend', 'day', 'dont', 'even', 'go', 'class', 'hear', 'disappointment', 'everyone', 'around', 'sit', 'bed', 'day', 'nothing', 'ive', 'lost', 'lb', 'give', 'take', 'dont', 'sleep', 'currently', 'havent', 'slept', 'hour', 'dont', 'even', 'take', 'joy', 'thing', 'loved', 'monday', 'wa', 'therapy', 'therapist', 'laughed', 'wa', 'telling', 'feeling', 'day', 'someone', 'wa', 'threatening', 'blackmail', 'said', 'hell', 'ruin', 'life', 'dont', 'let', 'rape', 'tried', 'reach', 'multiple', 'people', 'gave', 'response', 'line', 'dont', 'care', 'guess', 'last', 'attempt', 'last', 'cry', 'help']
127
['cant', 'believe', 'quick', 'recap', 'stopped', 'self', 'harming', 'december', 'failed', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'january', 'march', 'started', 'separation', 'process', 'ex', 'husband', 'wa', 'tough', 'going', 'suicidal', 'urge', 'went', 'thought', 'gone', 'goodbut', 'nope', 'life', 'keep', 'kicking', 'got', 'point', 'last', 'night', 'call', 'therapist', 'looked', 'overwhelming', 'mess', 'house', 'life', 'wanted', 'kill', 'want', 'take', 'bunch', 'pill', 'sleep', 'week']
50
['feel', 'likei', 'sideline', 'life', 'want', 'die', 'term', 'ive', 'thinking', 'watching', 'life', 'slowly', 'become', 'worse', 'time', 'go', 'experience', 'experience', 'lost', 'activity', 'seem', 'normal', 'arent', 'feel', 'like', 'living', 'side', 'line', 'life', 'see', 'rest', 'life', 'tooi', 'going', 'continue', 'paying', 'debt', 'working', 'telli', 'retire', 'cant', 'even', 'enjoy', 'retirement', 'racking', 'health', 'problem', 'prevent', 'make', 'heart', 'condition', 'ha', 'high', 'chance', 'preventing', 'living', 'past', 'indulge', 'meaningless', 'shit', 'trying', 'feel', 'human', 'cant', 'always', 'husk', 'dont', 'want', 'feel', 'happiness', 'dont', 'want', 'anything', 'besides', 'die', 'end', 'stupid', 'act', 'feel', 'mental', 'capacity', 'motivation', 'dwindling', 'wish', 'could', 'like', 'lot', 'wish', 'could', 'normal', 'wish', 'reality', 'felt', 'real', 'one', 'day', 'maybe', 'year', 'maybe', 'sooner', 'plan', 'shoot']
102
['ive', 'committed', 'planning', 'suicide', 'doe', 'anyone', 'want', 'keep', 'companythis', 'take', 'plan', 'execute']
12
['slowly', 'dying', 'depressed', 'sometime', 'used', 'go', 'counselor', 'every', 'week', 'summer', 'hit', 'internship', 'made', 'really', 'hard', 'make', 'appointment', 'lot', 'ha', 'happened', 'since', 'seen', 'feel', 'like', 'back', 'start', 'want', 'die', 'ironic', 'thing', 'always', 'wanted', 'die', 'accident', 'get', 'serious', 'willness', 'well', 'two', 'month', 'ago', 'started', 'liver', 'problem', 'found', 'week', 'ago', 'autoimmune', 'disease', 'eventually', 'kill', 'say', 'take', 'probably', 'year', 'actually', 'kill', 'since', 'super', 'serious', 'disease', 'funny', 'thing', 'got', 'wanted', 'feel', 'better']
67
['amstarting', 'doubt', 'get', 'betteri', 'life', 'ha', 'endless', 'rollercoaster', 'miserable', 'fucked', 'shit', 'interrupted', 'period', 'time', 'look', 'like', 'everything', 'might', 'turn', 'okay', 'rug', 'get', 'yanked', 'fuckery', 'begin', 'anew', 'cant', 'remember', 'childhood', 'wa', 'raped', 'priest', 'wa', 'fourth', 'grade', 'cant', 'really', 'remember', 'much', 'anything', 'life', 'even', 'shit', 'happened', 'fairly', 'recently', 'cant', 'maintain', 'normal', 'relationship', 'first', 'one', 'ended', 'stalked', 'five', 'year', 'second', 'one', 'wa', 'used', 'thirdfourth', 'wa', 'fucking', 'disaster', 'left', 'completely', 'doubting', 'self', 'worth', 'hasnt', 'come', 'back', 'year', 'half', 'later', 'seriously', 'contemplating', 'death', 'also', 'mother', 'lost', 'shit', 'culminating', 'series', 'hr', 'long', 'screaming', 'session', 'nothing', 'left', 'serious', 'fucking', 'anxiety', 'got', 'kicked', 'short', 'noticefifth', 'relationship', 'wa', 'going', 'great', 'basically', 'got', 'kicked', 'curb', 'without', 'warning', 'two', 'week', 'supposed', 'move', 'together', 'two', 'month', 'talking', 'started', 'seeing', 'friend', 'benefit', 'type', 'thing', 'kind', 'hate', 'alternative', 'le', 'completely', 'alone', 'really', 'hard', 'meet', 'approach', 'new', 'people', 'real', 'long', 'term', 'friend', 'got', 'new', 'friend', 'group', 'summer', 'suddenly', 'take', 'priority', 'people', 'also', 'thinki', 'ama', 'fucking', 'weirdo', 'want', 'nothing', 'dont', 'really', 'blame', 'themi', 'got', 'bullied', 'lot', 'k', 'understand', 'whyi', 'amgenerally', 'strange', 'aggravating', 'around', 'ive', 'worked', 'lot', 'people', 'tolerate', 'week', 'instead', 'hour', 'high', 'school', 'took', 'gap', 'year', 'germany', 'wa', 'mistake', 'wa', 'pretty', 'lonely', 'drank', 'lot', 'started', 'blacking', 'turn', 'ptsd', 'raped', 'child', 'cause', 'family', 'basically', 'told', 'wa', 'didnt', 'want', 'deal', 'coming', 'back', 'moment', 'time', 'doctor', 'ruling', 'shit', 'like', 'brain', 'tumor', 'thought', 'wa', 'seizurescollege', 'sucked', 'chose', 'poorly', 'wasnt', 'ready', 'yeari', 'still', 'leave', 'know', 'never', 'able', 'afford', 'go', 'backi', 'sure', 'want', 'thursday', 'didnt', 'think', 'would', 'summer', 'bullshit', 'shit', 'job', 'loneliness', 'everything', 'else', 'managed', 'actually', 'get', 'job', 'really', 'wanted', 'went', 'somehow', 'found', 'way', 'fuck', 'actually', 'thats', 'lie', 'know', 'exactly', 'fucked', 'myselfim', 'sure', 'whats', 'left', 'point', 'entire', 'life', 'ha', 'making', 'next', 'place', 'wont', 'suck', 'right', 'seems', 'get', 'lonely', 'miserable', 'matter', 'hard', 'try', 'dont', 'dream', 'future', 'anymore', 'people', 'ask', 'seem', 'ten', 'yearsi', 'amcompletely', 'lost', 'cant', 'imagine', 'even', 'alive', 'ten', 'year', 'plan', 'dead', 'dont', 'see', 'howi', 'going', 'make', 'iti', 'amjust', 'tired', 'want', 'stop', 'ive', 'pushing', 'feel', 'like', 'entire', 'life', 'want', 'break', 'earliest', 'memory', 'someone', 'stomping', 'finger', 'playground', 'whilei', 'trying', 'draw', 'something', 'piece', 'paper', 'dont', 'want', 'anymore']
332
['goodnight', 'everyone', 'dont', 'know', 'honestlyi', 'trying', 'best', 'ive', 'tried', 'best', 'ive', 'felling', 'empty', 'long', 'dont', 'know', 'whats', 'happened', 'cant', 'go', 'like', 'gosh', 'dont', 'mean', 'sound', 'dramatici', 'amlost', 'dont', 'know', 'despite', 'everything', 'could', 'nothing', 'ha', 'changed']
35
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578
['draft', 'suicide', 'letter', 'loveim', 'sorry', 'thing', 'ive', 'said', 'past', 'doesnt', 'justify', 'ive', 'done', 'doesnt', 'never', 'hasi', 'sorryi', 'sorry', 'honesty', 'think', 'youre', 'beautiful', 'everything', 'beautiful', 'dont', 'let', 'anyone', 'take', 'even', 'dont', 'deserve', 'never', 'think', 'deserve', 'much', 'better', 'go', 'find', 'need', 'join', 'dad', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'think', 'lonely', 'dont', 'worry', 'amwith', 'hell', 'take', 'care', 'want', 'know', 'love', 'friend', 'lover', 'family', 'ive', 'ever', 'truly', 'known', 'family', 'healthy', 'go', 'please', 'dont', 'hold', 'back', 'amazing', 'cant', 'even', 'begin', 'describe', 'keep']
75
['girlfriend', 'girlfriend', 'ha', 'recently', 'started', 'cutting', 'heavily', 'onto', 'thigh', 'night', 'get', 'worse', 'day', 'get', 'stop', 'get', 'offended', 'easily', 'everytime', 'bring', 'go', 'shit', 'want', 'know', 'perspective', 'right', 'dont', 'know', 'else', 'go']
30
['know', 'life', 'want', 'nde', 'atv', 'accident', 'remember', 'afterlife', 'wa', 'beautiful', 'pain', 'complete', 'utter', 'peacefor', 'lack', 'better', 'termmy', 'life', 'similar', 'vacation', 'staying', 'acquaintance', 'house', 'tell', 'make', 'home', 'still', 'bit', 'uneasy', 'still', 'tip', 'toe', 'around', 'know', 'get', 'comfortable', 'matter', 'many', 'accommodation', 'provide', 'know', 'home', 'never', 'going', 'back', 'home', 'friday', 'nd', 'already', 'place', 'timeand', 'plan', 'thank', 'encouraging', 'word', 'support']
56
['simply']
1
['birthday', 'life', 'friend', 'celebrate', 'actually', 'would', 'accept', 'suicidal', 'depressed', 'time', 'gift']
11
['think', 'ready', 'long', 'sleep', 'tried', 'commit', 'suicide', 'friday', 'work', 'tired', 'want', 'go']
12
['th', 'grade', 'th', 'grade', 'already', 'contemplating', 'shit', 'reason', 'thinking', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'never', 'seems', 'go', 'away', 'talk', 'parent', 'two', 'brother', 'worry', 'way', 'help', 'hurt', 'think', 'afraid', 'reach', 'friend', 'cause', 'feel', 'like', 'could', 'never', 'normal', 'conversation', 'fact', 'know', 'going', 'grow', 'man', 'child', 'best', 'manager', 'bar', 'gas', 'station', 'even', 'though', 'want', 'something', 'science', 'even', 'thought', 'responsibility', 'scare', 'f', 'core', 'class', 'moved', 'feel', 'parent', 'slowly', 'giving', 'take', 'shit', 'anymore']
65
['trying', 'vent', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'first', 'want', 'say', 'english', 'isnt', 'native', 'language', 'please', 'forgive', 'mistake', 'makei', 'trying', 'sort', 'last', 'resort', 'last', 'year', 'almost', 'experienced', 'year', 'many', 'beautiful', 'precious', 'moment', 'also', 'horrible', 'one', 'wa', 'bullied', 'think', 'extreme', 'way', 'year', 'fucked', 'depression', 'therapy', 'like', 'wa', 'first', 'time', 'wa', 'suicidal', 'also', 'thought', 'wa', 'rock', 'bottom', 'changed', 'school', 'lost', 'weight', 'made', 'many', 'friend', 'year', 'best', 'life', 'got', 'girlfriend', 'left', 'year', 'really', 'mean', 'way', 'also', 'made', 'mistake', 'way', 'left', 'deliberately', 'made', 'life', 'hell', 'made', 'think', 'ending', 'brings', 'u', 'last', 'year', 'chose', 'gap', 'year', 'didnt', 'know', 'study', 'also', 'applied', 'job', 'got', 'job', 'student', 'whole', 'ambiance', 'social', 'pub', 'party', 'like', 'job', 'dragged', 'right', 'depression', 'made', 'many', 'friend', 'month', 'later', 'met', 'girl', 'sister', 'colleague', 'haha', 'rocked', 'world', 'course', 'friend', 'say', 'everything', 'wa', 'something', 'else', 'know', 'everything', 'know', 'everything', 'sister', 'also', 'one', 'closest', 'friend', 'girl', 'still', 'life', 'parent', 'hour', 'away', 'one', 'day', 'excited', 'meet', 'secret', 'parent', 'away', 'ended', 'sex', 'day', 'sister', 'doesnt', 'know', 'met', 'second', 'time', 'seriously', 'fell', 'love', 'life', 'hour', 'away', 'parent', 'abusive', 'good', 'place', 'big', 'sister', 'depression', 'find', 'well', 'let', 'say', 'wont', 'end', 'well', 'chose', 'end', 'thing', 'wa', 'never', 'love', 'think', 'relationship', 'isnt', 'gonna', 'work', 'reaction', 'wa', 'drinking', 'partying', 'everyday', 'im', 'drunk', 'almost', 'every', 'evening', 'lost', 'job', 'thus', 'also', 'social', 'thing', 'job', 'shit', 'simply', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'everything', 'failing', 'im', 'failing', 'class', 'im', 'burden', 'parent', 'friend', 'also', 'al', 'people', 'gonna', 'go', 'shit', 'pain', 'cant', 'end', 'fuck', 'life', 'want', 'damn', 'bad', 'every', 'minute', 'drinking', 'living', 'hell', 'failure']
239
['many', 'thing', 'control', 'hithanks', 'clicking', 'apology', 'venting', 'internet', 'idea', 'else', 'go', 'fact', 'studying', 'tomorrow', 'exami', 'upperclassman', 'college', 'ha', 'suicidal', 'since', 'high', 'school', 'likely', 'due', 'fact', 'suffer', 'depression', 'yet', 'many', 'impeding', 'factor', 'life', 'dragging', 'necka', 'lot', 'people', 'refer', 'college', 'best', 'time', 'life', 'yet', 'completely', 'wasting', 'every', 'weekend', 'room', 'wasting', 'time', 'internet', 'homework', 'social', 'life', 'socially', 'stunted', 'know', 'build', 'oneacademically', 'performing', 'well', 'part', 'unfortunately', 'managed', 'get', 'three', 'wds', 'transcript', 'refused', 'play', 'stupid', 'game', 'putting', 'class', 'taught', 'terrible', 'professor', 'refused', 'stay', 'place', 'professor', 'help', 'attempted', 'second', 'stem', 'major', 'along', 'current', 'stem', 'major', 'school', 'offer', 'program', 'would', 'gone', 'ivy', 'league', 'school', 'two', 'year', 'senior', 'year', 'gave', 'program', 'second', 'semester', 'leaving', 'feeling', 'like', 'complete', 'failuresleeping', 'difficult', 'recently', 'ha', 'become', 'easier', 'took', 'incredibly', 'long', 'time', 'fall', 'asleep', 'one', 'point', 'resorted', 'hitting', 'head', 'wall', 'make', 'sleepyi', 'undocumented', 'usa', 'certain', 'circumstance', 'cannot', 'renew', 'daca', 'begin', 'accruing', 'illegal', 'time', 'march', 'role', 'around', 'lived', 'country', 'year', 'danger', 'kicked', 'home', 'parent', 'undocumented', 'get', 'caught', 'deported', 'college', 'different', 'state', 'one', 'left', 'home', 'take', 'care', 'little', 'sibling', 'american', 'born', 'citizensbecause', 'undocumented', 'conservative', 'college', 'lot', 'student', 'publicly', 'hate', 'immigrant', 'like', 'though', 'know', 'status', 'impedes', 'going', 'socialize', 'go', 'party', 'cannot', 'enjoy', 'activity', 'without', 'fear', 'getting', 'caught', 'arrested', 'deported', 'underageone', 'way', 'solve', 'immigrant', 'status', 'would', 'get', 'sponsorship', 'interning', 'prestigious', 'company', 'two', 'summer', 'offered', 'third', 'internship', 'wa', 'hoping', 'well', 'enough', 'internship', 'get', 'hired', 'later', 'become', 'sponsored', 'daca', 'expiring', 'unable', 'work', 'usa', 'summertimei', 'infatuated', 'undocumented', 'girl', 'cannot', 'even', 'attempt', 'build', 'romantic', 'relationship', 'marriage', 'another', 'way', 'attain', 'pathway', 'citizenship', 'want', 'get', 'married', 'paper', 'love', 'suck', 'force', 'lose', 'infatuation', 'girl', 'move', 'one', 'eventually', 'marry', 'american', 'citizen', 'assuming', 'find', 'someone', 'desperate', 'enough', 'marry', 'memy', 'life', 'soap', 'opera', 'cliche', 'turn', 'halfsibling', 'found', 'sibling', 'started', 'college', 'one', 'parent', 'cheated', 'born', 'possible', 'cheating', 'parent', 'sending', 'money', 'attend', 'expensive', 'university', 'home', 'country', 'study', 'fucking', 'communication', 'majortherapy', 'helping', 'currently', 'another', 'type', 'antidepressant', 'last', 'one', 'failed', 'counselor', 'constantly', 'tell', 'plethora', 'positive', 'quality', 'posse', 'ranging', 'intelligence', 'empathy', 'yet', 'every', 'time', 'feel', 'iota', 'hope', 'positivity', 'quickly', 'evaporatesi', 'unnatural', 'fear', 'forgotten', 'die', 'keep', 'trying', 'anything', 'keep', 'reverting', 'thought', 'pointto', 'conclude', 'fucking', 'scared', 'everything', 'know', 'future', 'brings', 'actually', 'bring', 'anything', 'find', 'miserable', 'home', 'state', 'college', 'state', 'know', 'miserable', 'home', 'country', 'get', 'deported', 'advice', 'hope', 'someone', 'offer', 'without', 'repeating', 'asinine', 'rhetoric', 'get', 'tossed', 'around']
362
['much', 'built', 'know', 'start', 'went', 'doctor', 'today', 'followup', 'appointment', 'week', 'ago', 'appointment', 'nothing', 'depression', 'suicide', 'nurse', 'asks', 'question', 'history', 'twice', 'last', 'year', 'wa', 'disability', 'work', 'went', 'outpatient', 'therapybut', 'answered', 'question', 'openly', 'admitted', 'current', 'mental', 'state', 'shaky', 'wa', 'never', 'brought', 'followup', 'doctor', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'really', 'matteri', 'lost', 'job', 'june', 'year', 'wa', 'blindsided', 'wa', 'betrayed', 'lot', 'anger', 'still', 'festering', 'thing', 'handled', 'wa', 'unemployed', 'month', 'half', 'temp', 'agency', 'found', 'job', 'wa', 'job', 'level', 'expertise', 'wa', 'gratefulfor', 'day', 'dad', 'go', 'hospital', 'unknown', 'illness', 'three', 'week', 'later', 'died', 'lung', 'cancer', 'lead', 'two', 'thing', 'missing', 'ton', 'time', 'new', 'job', 'dad', 'hospital', 'eventually', 'hospice', 'home', 'dad', 'died', 'power', 'attorneypersonal', 'representative', 'first', 'dealing', 'medical', 'decision', 'died', 'dealing', 'estate', 'trying', 'get', 'normal', 'work', 'schedule', 'backdid', 'mention', 'none', 'excoworkers', 'little', 'month', 'ago', 'reached', 'send', 'condolence', 'fuck', 'rightit', 'work', 'though', 'let', 'go', 'end', 'temp', 'period', 'jobless', 'thing', 'started', 'scheduling', 'interview', 'job', 'wa', 'working', 'telling', 'know', 'anything', 'end', 'contract', 'treated', 'like', 'idiotthe', 'whole', 'time', 'going', 'losing', 'pound', 'without', 'trying', 'digestive', 'issue', 'started', 'first', 'job', 'loss', 'still', 'figuring', 'outand', 'type', 'diabetic', 'nowit', 'shit', 'summer', 'going', 'shit', 'fall', 'depressed', 'angry', 'anxious', 'overwhelmed', 'needing', 'end', 'way', 'anotherthat', 'story']
184
['thing', 'stopping', 'responsibility', 'loved', 'one', 'hope', 'future', 'fear', 'death', 'fear', 'pain', 'anything', 'like', 'thatthere', 'thing', 'accomplish', 'family', 'sake', 'motivation', 'kill', 'maybe', 'good', 'enough', 'happens', 'longer', 'case']
26
['casual', 'friend', 'mine', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'recently', 'know', 'know', 'want', 'send', 'encouraging', 'message', 'anyone', 'give', 'opinion', 'person', 'close', 'friend', 'worked', 'month', 'got', 'well', 'actually', 'really', 'sweet', 'awesome', 'kind', 'person', 'talk', 'peripherally', 'kept', 'touch', 'year', 'time', 'year', 'wa', 'completely', 'unaware', 'assume', 'serious', 'depressiona', 'week', 'back', 'jumped', 'story', 'building', 'survivedthe', 'story', 'family', 'ha', 'put', 'wa', 'hit', 'run', 'want', 'debate', 'said', 'btw', 'situationi', 'mind', 'hinting', 'know', 'talk', 'need', 'want', 'drop', 'bomb', 'know', 'tactlessly', 'sketched', 'farhey', 'mate', 'sorry', 'hear', 'going', 'muchi', 'truly', 'hope', 'continue', 'path', 'improving', 'getting', 'help', 'need', 'awesome', 'glad', 'still', 'around', 'like', 'invite', 'board', 'game', 'night', 'mr', 'friend', 'whenever', 'feeling', 'iti', 'sorry', 'say', 'take', 'hearing', 'terrible', 'news', 'remind', 'awesome', 'like', 'catch', 'youwishing', 'good', 'feeling', 'world', 'hesitate', 'get', 'touch', 'need', 'talk', 'someonewhat', 'reckon', 'light', 'enoughedit', 'someone', 'suggests', 'aware', 'going', 'see', 'someone', 'best', 'way', 'generally', 'applicable', 'case', 'close', 'enough', 'certainly', 'want', 'intrude', 'privacy', 'tracking', 'seeing', 'know', 'hospital', 'even', 'ha', 'family', 'partner', 'certainly', 'alone']
148
['wanna', 'die', 'blunt', 'lip', 'wanna', 'die', 'blunt', 'lip', 'gun', 'head', 'blood', 'wrist', 'gun', 'imma', 'smoke', 'blunt', 'jump', 'bridge', 'fly', 'high', 'land', 'hard', 'die', 'high', 'sure', 'though', 'think', 'got', 'lot', 'time', 'left', 'though', 'know', 'anymorei', 'always', 'think', 'back', 'wa', 'first', 'tried', 'kill', 'sometimes', 'like', 'wa', 'stupid', 'time', 'like', 'wish', 'already', 'suffer', 'like', 'shit', 'never', 'go', 'away', 'eats', 'everytime', 'brain', 'distracted', 'something', 'else', 'fucking', 'hate', 'wish', 'wa', 'dead']
66
['chronic', 'pain', 'killing', 'live', 'im', 'chronically', 'ill', 'debilitating', 'migraine', 'work', 'get', 'health', 'insurance', 'keep', 'healthy', 'enough', 'keep', 'working', 'health', 'insurance', 'im', 'pain', 'almost', 'everyday', 'dont', 'want', 'wake', 'anymore', 'wonderful', 'boyfriend', 'amazing', 'life', 'cant', 'stop', 'feeling', 'guilty', 'put', 'much', 'insurance', 'still', 'thousand', 'medical', 'debt', 'cant', 'afford', 'save', 'anything', 'pay', 'school', 'debt', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'alive', 'anymore']
57
['feel', 'like', 'time', 'running', 'month', 'ago', 'wrote', 'list', 'thing', 'wanted', 'watchplaylistenread', 'killing', 'done', 'pretty', 'much', 'everything', 'list', 'except', 'one', 'thing', 'watch', 'blade', 'runner', 'come', 'thursday', 'feel', 'like', 'time', 'really', 'see', 'reason', 'carry', 'anymore', 'want', 'carry', 'anymore']
36
['pontos', 'v', 'rope', 'year', 'old', 'several', 'health', 'issue', 'many', 'year', 'mostly', 'chronic', 'pain', 'rls', 'burning', 'eye', 'stuff', 'none', 'could', 'cured', 'even', 'reduced', 'acceptable', 'level', 'yet', 'addition', 'problem', 'like', 'mouches', 'volantes', 'really', 'drive', 'crazy', 'know', 'mentioned', 'thing', 'considered', 'harmless', 'true', 'physical', 'part', 'rarely', 'sleeping', 'hour', 'wake', 'first', 'thing', 'feel', 'pain', 'leg', 'eye', 'everywhere', 'also', 'slight', 'form', 'socialphobia', 'talk', 'people', 'instantly', 'panic', 'people', 'around', 'manage', 'pretty', 'well', 'still', 'feel', 'goodall', 'thing', 'exactly', 'make', 'easy', 'wake', 'jump', 'bed', 'scream', 'beautiful', 'day', 'afterall', 'dropped', 'university', 'spring', 'cause', 'handle', 'anymore', 'got', 'tiny', 'job', 'afterall', 'enough', 'course', 'going', 'anywhere', 'itso', 'got', 'kicked', 'flat', 'pay', 'bill', 'money', 'place', 'go', 'still', 'hundred', 'buck', 'need', 'pay', 'well', 'know', 'hundred', 'buck', 'may', 'sound', 'much', 'hell', 'lotso', 'right', 'literally', 'nothing', 'health', 'future', 'moneythis', 'may', 'sound', 'like', 'spontaneous', 'reaction', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'year', 'ago', 'left', 'university', 'wa', 'typical', 'girlfriend', 'left', 'sad', 'whatever', 'stuff', 'serious', 'problem', 'year', 'enough', 'time', 'think', 'talking', 'soon', 'going', 'kill', 'want', 'maybe', 'placing', 'rope', 'next', 'trying', 'gut', 'itprobably', 'reason', 'done', 'yet', 'parent', 'especially', 'lovely', 'mom', 'every', 'day', 'passing', 'tend', 'anyways', 'see', 'optioni', 'know', 'people', 'serious', 'problem', 'andor', 'terrible', 'life', 'biggest', 'respect', 'keep', 'going', 'life', 'becomes', 'painful', 'struggle', 'every', 'single', 'day', 'without', 'hope', 'anything', 'change', 'worth', 'living', 'opinion']
197
['happens', 'check', 'mental', 'health', 'facility', 'need', 'help', 'thought', 'getting', 'worse', 'worse', 'know', 'happen', 'wife', 'kid', 'kid', 'taken', 'away', 'cps', 'find', 'went', 'facility', 'want', 'get', 'help', 'want', 'kid', 'taken', 'away', 'wife', 'getting', 'itedit', 'clarify', 'wife', 'kid', 'danger', 'thought', 'relate', 'would', 'never', 'hurt', 'wife', 'kid']
43
['upset', 'scared', 'two', 'scared', 'react', 'would', 'say', 'one', 'wa', 'hesitant', 'telling', 'counselorand', 'girl', 'afraid', 'sort', 'stalker', 'molester', 'wa', 'thinking', 'friend', 'kept', 'messaging', 'asking', 'friend', 'want', 'talkit', 'wa', 'hard', 'accepting', 'may', 'want', 'friend', 'thought', 'realised', 'changed', 'know']
36
['goodbye', 'everyone', 'ever', 'trusted', 'ha', 'forgotten', 'one', 'care', 'goodbye', 'everyone', 'ill', 'gone', 'hour', 'minute']
14
['like', 'people', 'hate', 'alone', 'suicide', 'hotline', 'ha', 'hold', 'want', 'post', 'basically', 'understand', 'happens', 'hate', 'people', 'hate', 'alone', 'always', 'sad', 'varying', 'degree', 'like', 'hanging', 'people', 'right', 'cause', 'gained', 'ish', 'lb', 'past', 'month', 'binge', 'eating', 'disorder', 'went', 'lb', 'obvious', 'frame', 'embarrassed', 'look', 'people', 'eye', 'anymore', 'able', 'keep', 'head', 'shame', 'resulted', 'losing', 'competitive', 'job', 'able', 'perform', 'anymore', 'project', 'come', 'idea', 'certainly', 'pitch', 'lost', 'soul', 'dream', 'work', 'hate', 'every', 'day', 'keep', 'binging', 'hypoglycemia', 'endocrinologist', 'refuse', 'treat', 'eat', 'sugar', 'constantly', 'seizure', 'take', 'med', 'cause', 'bad', 'enough', 'thyroid', 'med', 'cause', 'give', 'med', 'people', 'young', 'tonight', 'feel', 'like', 'injust', 'anymore', 'friend', 'ditched', 'today', 'go', 'disneyland', 'made', 'feel', 'even', 'worse', 'want', 'wake', 'tomorrow', 'face', 'world', 'really', 'feel', 'like', 'wait', 'another', 'day', 'kill']
114
['life', 'pointless', 'week', 'ago', 'wednesday', 'best', 'freind', 'killed', 'met', 'clinic', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'wa', 'half', 'year', 'agoat', 'first', 'wa', 'angry', 'life', 'seems', 'pointlessmy', 'therapist', 'said', 'reach', 'people', 'get', 'help', 'amsince', 'died', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'twice', 'constantly', 'thought', 'death']
36
['advice', 'needed', 'wa', 'diagnosed', 'mdd', 'past', 'month', 'almost', 'thought', 'either', 'self', 'hating', 'planning', 'talking', 'suicide', 'family', 'know', 'hardly', 'anything', 'trouble', 'good', 'keeping', 'thing', 'year', 'experience', 'imagine', 'year', 'old', 'came', 'told', 'suicidal', 'almost', 'decade', 'dozen', 'attempt', 'mdd', 'would', 'truly', 'heart', 'breaking', 'would', 'almost', 'come', 'nowhere', 'sometimes', 'think', 'truth', 'may', 'better', 'hidden', 'think', 'live', 'decent', 'life', 'capable', 'hurt', 'people', 'without', 'realizing', 'good', 'person', 'think', 'one', 'important', 'thing', 'life', 'human', 'connection', 'trouble', 'making', 'please', 'someone', 'help', 'much', 'edge', 'would', 'appreciate', 'older', 'parent', 'perspective']
80
['autismrelated', 'disorder', 'make', 'want', 'die', 'sure', 'right', 'place', 'post', 'disorder', 'related', 'autism', 'result', 'connecting', 'relating', 'people', 'level', 'everyone', 'else', 'basically', 'impossible', 'even', 'saying', 'hi', 'stranger', 'passing', 'sidewalk', 'terrifying', 'literally', 'part', 'diagnosis', 'always', 'excessively', 'quiet', 'friend', 'let', 'diagnosis', 'define', 'people', 'like', 'say', 'behavior', 'predestined', 'incurable', 'every', 'day', 'filled', 'humiliation', 'isolation', 'though', 'tried', 'year', 'fight', 'coldness', 'loneliness', 'isolation', 'surround', 'tried', 'fix', 'accept', 'feeling', 'meaninglessness', 'never', 'leaf', 'history', 'depression', 'since', 'wa', 'though', 'lowlevel', 'many', 'year', 'doubt', 'ever', 'go', 'away', 'point', 'given', 'real', 'reason', 'kill', 'make', 'mom', 'upset', 'given', 'doe', 'much', 'already', 'thought', 'crashing', 'empty', 'car', 'wa', 'driving', 'home', 'veered', 'near', 'entirely', 'seriously', 'would', 'break', 'heart', 'cost', 'person', 'greatly', 'similarly', 'swallowing', 'bottle', 'pill', 'would', 'traumatize', 'family', 'relationship', 'temporarily', 'made', 'thing', 'feel', 'worthwhile', 'eager', 'start', 'dating', 'someone', 'sticking', 'long', 'ex', 'wa', 'really', 'unusual', 'literature', 'art', 'give', 'small', 'sense', 'meaning', 'ephemeral', 'fleeting', 'blink', 'passion', 'nothing', 'ha', 'made', 'living', 'life', 'truly', 'worth', 'nothing', 'ha', 'given', 'lasting', 'warmth']
150
['want', 'die', 'want', 'work', 'hour', 'plan', 'end', 'life', 'soon', 'seem', 'find', 'job', 'willing', 'majority', 'life', 'mind', 'working', 'place', 'even', 'hour', 'day', 'hour', 'seems', 'like', 'handle', 'think', 'could', 'find', 'job', 'payed', 'enough', 'hour', 'day', 'might', 'able', 'keep', 'going', 'seem', 'exist']
39
['reason', 'killing', 'kind', 'silly', 'people', 'reason', 'killing', 'probably', 'kid', 'pet', 'need', 'take', 'care', 'family', 'friend', 'would', 'miss', 'reason', 'would', 'hurt', 'otherwise', 'uncomfortable', 'know', 'dumbyou', 'know', 'else', 'dumb', 'go', 'great', 'school', 'nice', 'twostory', 'house', 'swimming', 'pool', 'backyard', 'laptop', 'parent', 'love', 'friend', 'boyfriend', 'kindest', 'people', 'ever', 'met', 'depressed', 'suicidali', 'guess', 'also', 'tell', 'suicidal', 'aspergers', 'absolutely', 'hate', 'also', 'really', 'bad', 'adhd', 'get', 'way', 'life', 'also', 'annoying', 'little', 'crapsicle', 'guess', 'suicidal']
67
['really', 'feeling', 'ok', 'want', 'talk', 'someone', 'ha', 'felt', 'similar', 'posted', 'ago', 'honestly', 'issue', 'getting', 'worse', 'genuinely', 'genuinely', 'believe', 'ugliest', 'guy', 'know', 'cannot', 'bear', 'even', 'look', 'mirror', 'videospictures', 'horrifyingi', 'live', 'three', 'guy', 'girl', 'regularly', 'sex', 'yearspeople', 'say', 'subtle', 'thing', 'look', 'time', 'like', 'goofy', 'look', 'like', 'cartoon', 'character', 'seems', 'simple', 'time', 'crush', 'self', 'esteemi', 'like', 'going', 'anymore', 'zero', 'self', 'esteem', 'spent', 'last', 'minute', 'taking', 'video', 'confirm', 'ugly', 'one', 'side', 'face', 'literally', 'deformed', 'look', 'ridiculousi', 'girlfriend', 'year', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'incredible', 'wa', 'thing', 'made', 'happy', 'people', 'told', 'wa', 'far', 'league', 'time', 'left', 'coursei', 'know', 'wake', 'every', 'day', 'feeling', 'soooo', 'uncomfortable', 'skin', 'slowly', 'realized', 'time', 'truly', 'really', 'ugly', 'person', 'without', 'doubt', 'honest', 'really', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'people', 'always', 'fun', 'suffering', 'skin', 'feeling', 'uncomfortable', 'much', 'longer', 'want', 'live', 'rest', 'life', 'terrified', 'suicide', 'live', 'day', 'grow', 'little', 'miserable', 'one', 'step', 'closer', 'finally', 'itthere', 'nothing', 'fix', 'way', 'look', 'hate']
142
['done', 'done', 'anymore', 'know', 'young', 'make', 'decision', 'making', 'decision', 'continue', 'live', 'world', 'goodbye']
13
['worth', 'killing', 'trans', 'going', 'fucking', 'trans', 'spent', 'every', 'day', 'high', 'school', 'imagining', 'girl', 'wa', 'thing', 'going', 'disgusting', 'freak', 'rest', 'life', 'dysphoria', 'becomes', 'much', 'probably', 'end']
25
['mom', 'person', 'world', 'would', 'care', 'died', 'everyone', 'always', 'leaf', 'despite', 'say', 'always', 'begging', 'people', 'care', 'one', 'even', 'care']
18
['feel', 'like', 'unwanted', 'useless', 'decoration', 'wish', 'wa', 'never', 'born', 'think', 'one', 'make', 'life', 'better', 'reverse', 'life', 'done', 'anything', 'good', 'anyone', 'guess', 'friend', 'family', 'member', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'someone', 'constantly', 'causing', 'problem', 'one', 'big', 'problem', 'feel', 'place', 'world', 'really', 'tried', 'looking', 'matter', 'always', 'misfitthe', 'best', 'could', 'say', 'probably', 'pretty', 'even', 'ruined', 'self', 'harm', 'nothing', 'left', 'feel', 'like', 'unwanted', 'useless', 'decoration', 'worth', 'pretty', 'disaster', 'besides', 'thatpeople', 'always', 'leave', 'fear', 'knowing', 'end', 'ensures', 'least', 'important', 'person', 'one', 'actually', 'really', 'care', 'life', 'always', 'got', 'better', 'get', 'even', 'worse', 'afterwards', 'see', 'end', 'soon', 'moment', 'even', 'strength', 'properly', 'seriously', 'consider', 'suicide', 'even', 'seems', 'senseless', 'recently', 'accepted', 'end', 'maybe', 'even', 'last', 'year', 'gonna', 'end', 'every', 'time', 'something', 'happens', 'bit', 'closer', 'ending', 'much', 'left', 'til', 'finally', 'see', 'anything', 'left', 'could', 'relationship', 'anymore', 'like', 'person', 'could', 'focus', 'career', 'unconcentrated', 'distracted', 'tired', 'depressed', 'existing', 'waitingnot', 'even', 'therapist', 'help', 'even', 'seem', 'able', 'understand', 'standard', 'thing', 'working', 'current', 'even', 'want', 'make', 'diagnosis', 'seems', 'like', 'lot', 'thing', 'hundred', 'percent', 'one', 'even', 'simple', 'word', 'paper', 'describing', 'problem', 'seem', 'care', 'like', 'know', 'better', 'call', 'last', 'one', 'week', 'go', 'first', 'time', 'saw', 'sense', 'guess', 'even', 'sick', 'dealing', 'everyone', 'expects', 'hold', 'try', 'new', 'thing', 'blaaa', 'easy', 'understand', 'full', 'hope', 'still', 'youngi', 'taking', 'two', 'antidepressant', 'already', 'tried', 'two', 'meditation', 'sport', 'hate', 'sport', 'everything', 'useless', 'know', 'hurt', 'alive', 'want']
210
['since', 'wa', 'year', 'old', 'always', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'past', 'year', 'thing', 'stopping', 'wa', 'impossible', 'get', 'gun', 'england', 'want', 'last', 'moment', 'painless', 'life', 'always', 'hurt', 'keep', 'getting', 'worse', 'worse', 'bear', 'anymore', 'spend', 'free', 'time', 'college', 'researching', 'suicide', 'method', 'able', 'without', 'arousing', 'suspicion', 'beforehand', 'stuck']
42
['found', 'gun', 'alive', 'tomorrow', 'often', 'hope', 'maybe', 'stumble', 'across', 'gun', 'sidewalk', 'someday', 'dream', 'want', 'end', 'hate', 'fucking', 'face', 'want', 'anyone', 'ever', 'see', 'want', 'blow', 'bit', 'shotgun', 'would', 'nice', 'hate', 'coming', 'home', 'everyday', 'falling', 'apart', 'breaking', 'tear', 'shitty', 'life', 'ha', 'always', 'worth', 'could', 'quickly', 'gun', 'maybe', 'picky']
46
['absolutely', 'nothing', 'make', 'happy', 'video', 'game', 'tv', 'boring', 'people', 'make', 'nervous', 'enjoy', 'music', 'commit', 'exercise', 'eating', 'make', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'school', 'stress', 'drawing', 'make', 'think', 'worthless', 'nature', 'aggravating', 'success', 'stress', 'even', 'feel', 'like', 'walking', 'shell', 'started', 'cutting', 'stimulation', 'probably', 'going', 'continue', 'editing', 'list', 'everything', 'make', 'happy']
46
['happens', 'get', 'caught', 'overdosing', 'trying', 'im', 'curious', 'know', 'one', 'could', 'actually', 'get', 'jail', 'time', 'trying', 'overdose', 'ive', 'seen', 'movie', 'people', 'getting', 'sent', 'scary', 'psych', 'ward', 'pyschotic', 'people', 'jail', 'time', 'really', 'thing', 'someone', 'wanting', 'throw', 'jail', 'send', 'away', 'like', 'im', 'weird', 'problem', 'would', 'actually', 'make', 'want', 'kill', 'even', 'get', 'outwhat', 'asking', 'worst', 'thing', 'could', 'happen', 'youre', 'found', 'trying', 'kill', 'cop', 'higher', 'authority', 'p', 'asking', 'u']
64
['tired', 'feeling', 'like', 'shes', 'going', 'realize', 'shes', 'league', 'doe', 'done', 'aside', 'number', 'post', 'part', 'reddit', 'depressing', 'wa', 'scrolling', 'long', 'time', 'tonight', 'never', 'hit', 'post', 'older', 'hour', 'many', 'people', 'want', 'die', 'always', 'think', 'way', 'erase', 'people', 'mind', 'would', 'done', 'long', 'ago']
40
['else', 'go', 'even', 'know', 'start', 'thought', 'wa', 'diagnosed', 'year', 'ago', 'would', 'answer', 'thought', 'would', 'able', 'take', 'pill', 'done', 'mental', 'illness', 'med', 'change', 'month', 'month', 'even', 'week', 'week', 'added', 'medical', 'cannabis', 'although', 'tool', 'still', 'rapid', 'cycling', 'like', 'time', 'lean', 'towards', 'manic', 'time', 'tried', 'much', 'hospitalization', 'stronger', 'med', 'weaker', 'med', 'cannabis', 'deep', 'breathing', 'guided', 'asmr', 'fucking', 'fidget', 'spinner', 'also', 'chronic', 'physical', 'problem', 'like', 'asthma', 'medication', 'heaviest', 'even', 'really', 'helping', 'depression', 'side', 'manic', 'side', 'going', 'bonkers', 'tho', 'cause', 'want', 'overwhelms', 'point', 'panic', 'take', 'nap', 'exhausting', 'family', 'also', 'forced', 'get', 'part', 'time', 'job', 'think', 'ready', 'job', 'medical', 'lab', 'retail', 'add', 'feeling', 'get', 'year', 'old', 'female', 'bipolar', 'ptsd', 'anxiety', 'disorder', 'borderline', 'tendency', 'doctor', 'say', 'schizoactive', 'tendency', 'say', 'trichotillomania', 'asthma', 'gi', 'problem', 'also', 'full', 'time', 'health', 'care', 'student', 'actor', 'currently', 'rehearsal', 'employee', 'wow', 'typing', 'make', 'seem', 'like', 'way', 'thought', 'wa', 'geez', 'today', 'wa', 'watching', 'old', 'masterchef', 'episode', 'remembered', 'one', 'contestant', 'wa', 'diagnosed', 'similar', 'killed', 'thought', 'many', 'people', 'condition', 'like', 'mine', 'end', 'life', 'reminded', 'close', 'personal', 'friend', 'apart', 'got', 'thinking', 'one', 'day', 'would', 'become', 'apart', 'statistic', 'want', 'see', 'end', 'solution', 'resolution', 'life', 'trapped', 'life', 'see', 'end', 'know', 'end', 'life', 'know', 'must', 'done', 'feel', 'like', 'conclusion', 'helium', 'pill', 'jump', 'know', 'done']
193
['want', 'talk', 'without', 'police', 'called', 'go', 'tell', 'happen', 'frequently', 'doe', 'happened', 'twice', 'involuntarily', 'committed', 'mental', 'hospital', 'twice', 'experience', 'traumatic', 'disgruntled', 'police', 'officer', 'show', 'door', 'locked', 'room', 'three', 'men', 'twice', 'size', 'one', 'generic', 'adult', 'section', 'caustic', 'attitude', 'nurse', 'swore', 'never', 'see', 'another', 'mental', 'health', 'professional', 'againthe', 'smug', 'selfriteous', 'attitude', 'people', 'got', 'committed', 'saved', 'life', 'though', 'sickens', 'last', 'week', 'wa', 'going', 'try', 'online', 'therapy', 'betterhelp', 'however', 'completely', 'denied', 'saying', 'person', 'therapy', 'would', 'help', 'mosti', 'never', 'get', 'help', 'lie', 'suffer', 'alone', 'rather', 'dead', 'fucking', 'psych', 'ward']
83
['fighting', 'thought', 'two', 'whole', 'year', 'getting', 'increasingly', 'harder', 'keep', 'going', 'people', 'around', 'feel', 'safeoutside', 'people', 'many', 'chance', 'interact', 'often', 'afraid', 'people', 'would', 'see', 'yet', 'uncomfortable', 'people', 'currently', 'see', 'mei', 'anxiety', 'gender', 'dysphoria', 'going', 'find', 'new', 'way', 'screw', 'building', 'timei', 'know', 'talk', 'worried', 'either', 'taken', 'seriously', 'taken', 'seriously', 'lead', 'change', 'life', 'want']
51
['think', 'im', 'going', 'kill', 'alone', 'dont', 'know', 'want', 'love', 'affection', 'one', 'find', 'anywhere', 'cant', 'build', 'connection', 'people', 'think', 'think', 'im', 'going', 'something', 'soon', 'cant', 'handle', 'anymore', 'little', 'sense', 'purpose', 'want', 'loved', 'died', 'one', 'would', 'care', 'doe', 'one', 'care']
38
['want', 'die', 'girlfriend', 'want', 'die', 'want', 'hang', 'explained', 'girlfriend', 'control', 'get', 'anything', 'know', 'want', 'dilemma', 'university', 'leading', 'super', 'good', 'life', 'said', 'would', 'kill', 'obviously', 'want', 'thing', 'keeping', 'back', 'someone', 'give', 'advice', 'would', 'get', 'time', 'start', 'family', 'speaks', 'someone', 'else', 'maybe', 'naive', 'would', 'better', 'breaking', 'look', 'fault', 'stuck']
47
['someone', 'else', 'hope', 'someone', 'else', 'kill', 'lazy', 'almost', 'certain', 'buy', 'gun', 'want', 'move', 'area', 'natural', 'disaster', 'happen', 'mother', 'text', 'drive', 'tell', 'put', 'phone', 'point', 'progressing', 'even', 'type', 'push', 'closer', 'suicide', 'tired']
31
['anymore', 'maintain', 'form', 'relationship', 'even', 'hangout', 'people', 'feel', 'distant', 'isolated', 'constantly', 'think', 'suicide', 'motivation', 'carry', 'gone', 'wake', 'cry', 'sure', 'attempt', 'th', 'attempt', 'week', 'live', 'like', 'ghost', 'anymore']
27
['date', 'set', 'mind', 'made', 'enough', 'negativity', 'ha', 'infected', 'long', 'remember', 'take', 'anymore', 'hurt', 'many', 'people', 'close', 'due', 'mental', 'instability', 'year', 'put', 'people', 'torment', 'anguish', 'pain', 'actual', 'word', 'quote', 'get', 'never', 'change', 'broken', 'person', 'since', 'wa', 'born', 'selfish', 'trouble', 'showing', 'feeling', 'give', 'back', 'ha', 'given', 'nothing', 'continue', 'completely', 'lost', 'care', 'world', 'much', 'crippling', 'debt', 'addiction', 'alcohol', 'facing', 'legal', 'situation', 'want', 'care', 'anymore', 'matter', 'planning', 'die', 'greatest', 'urge', 'think', 'date', 'ha', 'set', 'oct', 'really', 'want', 'place', 'nothing', 'matter', 'anymore', 'donei', 'saw', 'needed', 'see', 'world', 'something', 'want', 'anymore']
85
['want', 'kill', 'tonight', 'college', 'freshman', 'difficult', 'thought', 'made', 'friend', 'say', 'care', 'shake', 'feeling', 'meet', 'someone', 'already', 'met', 'someone', 'end', 'hurting', 'deserting', 'known', 'month', 'already', 'know', 'suicidal', 'ideation', 'panic', 'attack', 'every', 'night', 'sick', 'terrified', 'people', 'annoyed', 'think', 'seeking', 'attention', 'terrified', 'eventually', 'stop', 'caring', 'leave', 'trying', 'navigate', 'identity', 'polyamorous', 'queer', 'girl', 'even', 'know', 'terrified', 'even', 'making', 'friend', 'people', 'know', 'friend', 'supposed', 'keep', 'relying', 'support', 'every', 'single', 'night', 'know', 'weigh', 'even', 'pick', 'phone', 'talk', 'someone', 'want', 'stop', 'scared', 'feel', 'secure', 'want', 'feel', 'like', 'someone', 'care', 'besides', 'parent', 'want', 'alone', 'four', 'year']
88
['hard', 'sleep', 'get', 'peace', 'live', 'care', 'home', 'annoying', 'cunt', 'know', 'shut', 'fuck', 'switch', 'light', 'staff', 'found', 'suicide', 'note', 'knife', 'room', 'method', 'gone', 'considering', 'jumping', 'cliff', 'close', 'live', 'friend', 'school', 'joke', 'serious', 'psychiatrist', 'offer', 'help', 'neither', 'staff', 'everything', 'every', 'day', 'cause', 'inconvenience', 'suffering', 'get', 'around', 'hr', 'sleep', 'hr', 'school', 'day', 'special', 'school', 'half', 'life', 'finally', 'progressed', 'back', 'mainstream', 'cost', 'living', 'family']
60
['quick', 'suicide', 'method', 'pain', 'long']
5
['say', 'goodbye', 'think', 'tell', 'people', 'feel', 'think', 'suicide', 'permanent', 'option', 'time', 'result', 'temporary', 'issue', 'going', 'die', 'true', 'position', 'judge', 'happens', 'hand', 'taking', 'fate', 'whatever', 'else', 'take', 'granted', 'away', 'consciously', 'taking', 'away', 'tomorrow', 'tomorrow', 'problem', 'could', 'go', 'awayyou', 'also', 'write', 'saying', 'goodbye', 'make', 'believe', 'obviously', 'people', 'care', 'turn', 'must', 'care', 'really', 'never', 'want', 'see', 'friend', 'family', 'whoever', 'really', 'want', 'witness', 'success', 'future', 'irrational', 'death', 'thing', 'rational', 'cliche', 'evidence', 'tell', 'u', 'live', 'briefly', 'tiny', 'gap', 'life', 'two', 'infinite', 'void', 'darkness', 'could', 'buddy', 'going', 'end', 'early', 'truly', 'believe', 'think', 'way', 'utterly', 'convinced', 'think', 'possible', 'solution', 'bearing', 'mind', 'people', 'terminal', 'illness', 'life', 'sentence', 'often', 'decide', 'got', 'least', 'talk', 'someone', 'someone', 'care', 'going', 'fair', 'one', 'lovepersonally', 'say', 'life', 'lot', 'profitable', 'death', 'death', 'come', 'wait', 'damning', 'one', 'love', 'lifetime', 'sadness', 'regret', 'also', 'good', 'meditating', 'fact', 'mean', 'realise', 'tied', 'anything', 'problem', 'ephemeral', 'tackle', 'themi', 'hope', 'talk', 'someone', 'death', 'hold', 'answer', 'inevitability']
144
['dealing', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'alone', 'friend', 'exaggerating', 'one', 'bit', 'say', 'going', 'bunch', 'shit', 'month', 'hit', 'peak', 'stress', 'response', 'syndrome', 'cannot', 'cope', 'anything', 'first', 'list', 'thing', 'agoraphobia', 'severe', 'anxiety', 'get', 'job', 'go', 'whatsoever', 'barely', 'managed', 'graduate', 'high', 'school', 'abusive', 'household', 'escape', 'cause', 'agoraphobia', 'attached', 'recently', 'found', 'good', 'friend', 'mine', 'ha', 'manipulating', 'cut', 'week', 'ago', 'cut', 'bestfriend', 'wanna', 'friend', 'cause', 'struggle', 'much', 'doe', 'help', 'always', 'hanging', 'ex', 'still', 'gotten', 'really', 'good', 'like', 'think', 'people', 'causing', 'grief', 'essentially', 'gone', 'alone', 'fighting', 'breath', 'scared', 'want', 'miserable', 'forever', 'doctor', 'appointment', 'week', 'know', 'make', 'sorry', 'post', 'mess', 'really', 'need', 'make', 'friend', 'hard']
95
['never', 'good', 'day', 'abused', 'home', 'online', 'friend', 'manage', 'make', 'bring', 'bad', 'drama', 'hurt', 'failed', 'attempt', 'social', 'interaction', 'school', 'ex', 'friend', 'glance', 'hallway', 'anxiety', 'make', 'look', 'pathetic', 'senior', 'high', 'school', 'honestly', 'thing', 'making', 'pull', 'trigger', 'yes', 'online', 'pathetic', 'like', 'boyfriendi', 'tied', 'wishing', 'wa', 'never', 'born', 'wishing', 'never', 'met', 'boyfriend', 'love', 'feel', 'completely', 'worthless', 'stay', 'home', 'every', 'chance', 'get', 'opposite', 'fucking', 'loser', 'going', 'drag', 'even', 'want', 'go', 'graduation', 'ceremony', 'fucking', 'hate', 'school', 'everyone', 'want', 'nothing', 'else', 'place', 'everyone', 'fake', 'cause', 'drama', 'ha', 'regard', 'anyone', 'else', 'feeling', 'society', 'morally', 'low', 'minded', 'kid', 'want', 'forget', 'everyone', 'want', 'start', 'fresh']
95
['easiest', 'way', 'die', 'sure', 'right', 'place', 'read', 'subreddit', 'year', 'never', 'commented', 'story', 'made', 'hopeful', 'carried', 'unable', 'cope', 'life', 'need', 'end', 'sorry']
21
['treat', 'like', 'shit', 'trying', 'commit', 'suicide', 'edit', 'meant', 'say', 'people', 'understand', 'human', 'angered', 'idea', 'someone', 'close', 'decided', 'take', 'life', 'away', 'aware', 'much', 'joy', 'give', 'helping', 'problem', 'ask', 'reciprocation', 'stop', 'ask', 'fuck', 'treating', 'like', 'shit', 'institutionalize', 'suicide', 'teen', 'significant', 'preformed', 'fellatio', 'friend', 'front', 'ive', 'never', 'tried', 'ever', 'since', 'ton', 'friend', 'always', 'put', 'smile', 'upon', 'make', 'happy', 'truly', 'doe', 'depressed', 'sometimes', 'stop', 'think', 'dissappear', 'one', 'really', 'reached', 'except', 'one', 'girlfriend', 'overdosed', 'heroin', 'picture', 'gf', 'every', 'time', 'tell', 'something', 'ha', 'little', 'say', 'know', 'say', 'make', 'laugh', 'get', 'truly', 'think', 'suicide', 'time', 'time', 'attempt', 'fail', 'sure', 'would', 'get', 'much', 'hate', 'im', 'asking', 'help', 'wanted', 'vent']
101
['cliff', 'train', 'one', 'would', 'choose', 'get', 'cliff', 'foot', 'drop', 'train', 'station', 'high', 'speed', 'train', 'go', 'every', 'morning']
17
['feel', 'emotion', 'accepted', 'end', 'wife', 'kid', 'gone', 'fault', 'feeling', 'sick', 'physically', 'mentally', 'brain', 'family', 'world', 'rip', 'soon', 'want', 'stop']
19
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111
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21
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310
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144
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22
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334
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13
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221
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72
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7
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3
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35
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2157
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51
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23
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96
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20
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31
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51
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85
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45
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22
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139
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8
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46
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42
['seriously', 'considering', 'backround', 'thought', 'dying', 'much', 'better', 'would', 'many', 'many', 'time', 'thought', 'like', 'nearly', 'entire', 'life', 'outside', 'twice', 'though', 'something', 'ever', 'felt', 'like', 'wa', 'serious', 'last', 'night', 'however', 'scared', 'even', 'ha', 'bad', 'week', 'nothing', 'terrible', 'stuff', 'know', 'people', 'could', 'able', 'shrug', 'keep', 'going', 'however', 'feel', 'like', 'certain', 'people', 'mainly', 'bossdad', 'sometimes', 'wife', 'actually', 'trying', 'piss', 'pretty', 'well', 'known', 'get', 'really', 'pissed', 'point', 'walking', 'away', 'end', 'depressed', 'yet', 'seems', 'like', 'purpose', 'anyway', 'example', 'yesterday', 'wa', 'mobile', 'store', 'regular', 'driver', 'quit', 'back', 'run', 'propane', 'generator', 'plug', 'run', 'light', 'ac', 'unit', 'back', 'wa', 'site', 'running', 'cord', 'left', 'trip', 'hazard', 'decided', 'pulling', 'cord', 'ran', 'generator', 'supposed', 'around', 'pm', 'one', 'hottest', 'day', 'year', 'south', 'texas', 'generator', 'run', 'propane', 'fault', 'way', 'forgot', 'check', 'drive', 'thing', 'though', 'requires', 'cdl', 'one', 'driver', 'drive', 'site', 'drive', 'van', 'go', 'day', 'different', 'task', 'man', 'mobile', 'store', 'option', 'simply', 'go', 'fill', 'propane', 'carry', 'bring', 'cord', 'plug', 'cord', 'important', 'one', 'cord', 'ha', 'standard', 'plug', 'one', 'side', 'end', 'big', 'round', 'prong', 'plug', 'normally', 'found', 'washing', 'machine', 'truck', 'us', 'plug', 'generator', 'cord', 'single', 'cord', 'wa', 'long', 'enough', 'get', 'second', 'cord', 'call', 'extension', 'cord', 'ha', 'male', 'female', 'end', 'round', 'plug', 'short', 'plug', 'cord', 'regular', 'wall', 'socket', 'wall', 'run', 'cord', 'plug', 'extension', 'cord', 'cord', 'plug', 'truck', 'pretty', 'simple', 'right', 'well', 'work', 'becomes', 'important', 'call', 'bossdad', 'explain', 'situation', 'answer', 'mean', 'extension', 'cord', 'used', 'cord', 'office', 'work', 'reply', 'yes', 'used', 'standard', 'cord', 'know', 'work', 'used', 'extension', 'cord', 'far', 'know', 'untested', 'previous', 'driver', 'never', 'plugged', 'anyway', 'guessing', 'faulty', 'responds', 'idea', 'talking', 'mean', 'extension', 'cord', 'never', 'seen', 'one', 'proceed', 'describe', 'two', 'cord', 'way', 'still', 'ha', 'fucking', 'clue', 'talking', 'one', 'thing', 'easily', 'upset', 'know', 'probably', 'doe', 'explain', 'something', 'really', 'fucking', 'simple', 'someone', 'doe', 'understand', 'start', 'bitching', 'time', 'deal', 'say', 'fine', 'hang', 'couple', 'hour', 'left', 'point', 'sit', 'ac', 'break', 'room', 'come', 'people', 'approach', 'truck', 'go', 'back', 'ac', 'bad', 'say', 'unacceptable', 'customer', 'experience', 'agree', 'extent', 'guy', 'need', 'provide', 'decides', 'instead', 'taking', 'word', 'working', 'gonna', 'come', 'take', 'look', 'bitching', 'whole', 'time', 'doe', 'time', 'agree', 'tell', 'think', 'going', 'good', 'come', 'getting', 'really', 'upset', 'point', 'know', 'damn', 'extension', 'cord', 'get', 'realizes', 'faulty', 'bitch', 'come', 'way', 'decides', 'call', 'driver', 'back', 'close', 'shop', 'reschedule', 'fine', 'need', 'get', 'anyway', 'really', 'tough', 'time', 'losing', 'point', 'wait', 'around', 'another', 'little', 'bit', 'driver', 'show', 'swap', 'vehicle', 'go', 'security', 'ha', 'inspect', 'back', 'vehicle', 'take', 'time', 'drive', 'way', 'back', 'across', 'town', 'nearly', 'point', 'keep', 'mind', 'leave', 'appointment', 'lunch', 'heat', 'past', 'hour', 'dead', 'tired', 'telling', 'point', 'really', 'want', 'head', 'home', 'eat', 'instead', 'assigns', 'task', 'know', 'gonna', 'take', 'hour', 'fucking', 'fuck', 'eaten', 'day', 'covered', 'sweat', 'black', 'crap', 'clothes', 'moving', 'dirty', 'cord', 'around', 'come', 'early', 'day', 'stuff', 'needed', 'get', 'dome', 'left', 'appointment', 'wanting', 'stay', 'late', 'lunch', 'pissed', 'walk', 'went', 'home', 'sat', 'shower', 'hour', 'finally', 'went', 'downstairs', 'ate', 'dinner', 'wife', 'head', 'bed', 'getting', 'daughter', 'bed', 'wa', 'sitting', 'really', 'seriously', 'considering', 'killing', 'wa', 'even', 'removed', 'guess', 'explicit', 'rule', 'actually', 'removed', 'course', 'today', 'wa', 'close', 'today', 'scared', 'might', 'end', 'wa', 'thinking', 'would', 'wife', 'wake', 'would', 'likely', 'lose', 'job', 'would', 'able', 'go', 'due', 'deal', 'dead', 'getting', 'daughter', 'school', 'whatever', 'else', 'would', 'deal', 'closest', 'come', 'scared', 'little', 'angrier', 'depressed', 'would', 'carried', 'know', 'know', 'incident', 'friday', 'really', 'set', 'another', 'tuesday', 'wit', 'end', 'little', 'thing', 'bother', 'much', 'able', 'ignore', 'carry', 'scenario', 'play', 'head', 'matter', 'much', 'try', 'distract', 'go', 'sleep', 'incident', 'playing', 'head', 'dream', 'thing', 'happening', 'wake', 'mind', 'wa', 'dreaming', 'go', 'away', 'want']
537
['need', 'reset', 'body', 'clock', 'wide', 'awake', 'night', 'start', 'fall', 'asleep', 'like', 'thanks', 'old', 'job', 'gave', 'ton', 'night', 'shift', 'thankfully', 'left', 'stupid', 'place', 'new', 'job', 'day', 'shift', 'sleep', 'clock', 'completely', 'screwed', 'ever', 'sleep', 'night']
33
['thought', 'could', 'wait', 'always', 'said', 'stuff', 'get', 'better', 'time', 'call', 'quits', 'recently', 'feeling', 'overwhelming', 'sense', 'stuff', 'ever', 'get', 'better', 'decided', 'call', 'quits', 'kind', 'suck', 'life', 'wa', 'never', 'fair', 'suppose', 'unfairness', 'part', 'life']
32
['feel', 'stupid', 'pick', 'knife', 'girl', 'year', 'pain', 'heartache', 'seem', 'heavy', 'handle', 'fall', 'love', 'usually', 'slave', 'hormone', 'primal', 'instinct', 'mean', 'often', 'become', 'irrational', 'know', 'cause', 'pain', 'feeling', 'however', 'looking', 'back', 'realise', 'wa', 'worth', 'opinion', 'girl', 'possibly', 'meaningful', 'thing', 'life', 'hope', 'thing', 'work']
41
['note', 'mom', 'love', 'end', 'road', 'feeling', 'overwhelming', 'sadness', 'unbearable', 'think', 'world', 'would', 'better', 'without', 'nothing', 'worth', 'breathing', 'im', 'waste', 'resource', 'planet', 'unmistakable', 'feeling', 'unwanted', 'hatred', 'fogging', 'existence', 'may', 'question', 'decision', 'please', 'remember', 'human', 'complicated', 'creature', 'may', 'think', 'selfish', 'leaving', 'world', 'without', 'saying', 'goodbye', 'leaving', 'people', 'loved', 'easiest', 'way', 'end', 'unlimited', 'suffering', 'facing', 'smoothest', 'route', 'demolish', 'darkness', 'lonely', 'rejected', 'please', 'sad', 'im', 'gone', 'happy', 'meant', 'world']
65
['feel', 'stuck', 'urgent', 'post', 'skip', 'want', 'year', 'old', 'white', 'male', 'american', 'ugly', 'lazy', 'everyone', 'school', 'dislike', 'good', 'reason', 'would', 'hate', 'one', 'give', 'enough', 'shit', 'muster', 'enough', 'energy', 'hate', 'except', 'therapy', 'year', 'may', 'helped', 'past', 'realized', 'never', 'change', 'matter', 'much', 'want', 'lazy', 'piece', 'shit', 'fucking', 'full', 'full', 'self', 'pity', 'hate', 'gut', 'wish', 'wa', 'dead', 'waiting', 'long', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'think', 'future', 'whenever', 'get', 'test', 'back', 'school', 'look', 'grade', 'anxious', 'told', 'mom', 'got', 'angry', 'tried', 'make', 'look', 'know', 'one', 'test', 'tiny', 'thing', 'mean', 'much', 'sign', 'shit', 'fail', 'project', 'begun', 'never', 'finished', 'first', 'paragraph', 'great', 'novel', 'written', 'forgotten', 'six', 'month', 'cringe', 'later', 'time', 'tried', 'learn', 'another', 'language', 'read', 'book', 'failed', 'fucking', 'piece', 'shit', 'wow', 'look', 'fucking', 'self', 'pity', 'shocking', 'anything', 'willpower', 'test', 'one', 'fucking', 'test', 'one', 'part', 'million', 'thing', 'make', 'want', 'anywhere', 'used', 'friend', 'wa', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'one', 'people', 'made', 'feel', 'good', 'wanted', 'made', 'feel', 'happy', 'felt', 'first', 'time', 'like', 'wa', 'making', 'someone', 'life', 'better', 'broke', 'agreed', 'friend', 'afterwards', 'went', 'crush', 'everyone', 'friend', 'ending', 'real', 'friend', 'told', 'like', 'listening', 'rave', 'trying', 'get', 'date', 'told', 'fucking', 'dick', 'told', 'said', 'hate', 'telling', 'hate', 'think', 'lied', 'guess', 'intention', 'matter', 'two', 'people', 'maybe', 'cared', 'anymore', 'happened', 'today', 'know', 'kill', 'know', 'likely', 'way', 'going', 'die', 'used', 'think', 'could', 'give', 'something', 'world', 'realize', 'shit', 'self', 'pitying', 'piece', 'garbage', 'want', 'anymore', 'stuckthank', 'reading', 'though', 'sorry', 'wasting', 'time', 'could', 'spent', 'helping', 'people', 'need']
222
['scared', 'feel', 'alone', 'hate', 'edgy', 'stuff', 'sad', 'know', 'else', 'want', 'okay', 'everything', 'turn', 'right', 'scared', 'want', 'help']
17
['good', 'friend', 'ha', 'several', 'breakdown', 'distancing', 'fh', 'close', 'know', 'fh', 'fear', 'one', 'good', 'friend', 'close', 'going', 'ithe', 'confided', 'u', 'long', 'time', 'ago', 'suffered', 'depression', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'long', 'time', 'several', 'scare', 'dealt', 'withwitnessed', 'handful', 'breakdown', 'fell', 'radar', 'little', 'year', 'ago', 'solid', 'day', 'half', 'emotional', 'break', 'went', 'far', 'breaking', 'house', 'check', 'find', 'car', 'wa', 'turn', 'self', 'harmed', 'called', 'ambulance', 'recent', 'break', 'week', 'ago', 'since', 'last', 'break', 'ha', 'basically', 'stopped', 'talked', 'fh', 'work', 'together', 'kind', 'big', 'deal', 'think', 'went', 'office', 'twice', 'worked', 'home', 'time', 'since', 'also', 'taken', 'completely', 'quite', 'bit', 'top', 'doe', 'talk', 'fh', 'real', 'jerk', 'based', 'fh', 'ha', 'told', 'conversation', 'suffered', 'depression', 'considered', 'suicide', 'used', 'self', 'harm', 'familiar', 'lot', 'recent', 'action', 'dick', 'fh', 'basically', 'spelled', 'ready', 'pushing', 'away', 'order', 'push', 'u', 'life', 'therefore', 'make', 'easier', 'fh', 'giving', 'want', 'help', 'know', 'howthere', 'wa', 'turnaround', 'yesterday', 'came', 'wa', 'place', 'couple', 'hour', 'shop', 'garage', 'fh', 'work', 'coming', 'unannounced', 'going', 'straight', 'shop', 'uncommon', 'came', 'home', 'though', 'wa', 'inside', 'watching', 'tv', 'fh', 'hung', 'another', 'hour', 'say', 'much', 'know', 'positive', 'want', 'know', 'else', 'dohe', 'lunch', 'mentor', 'figure', 'yesterday', 'discus', 'everything', 'several', 'u', 'know', 'going', 'basically', 'watch', 'asked', 'far', 'thought', 'skip', 'beat', 'saying', 'know', 'would', 'help', 'life', 'alone', 'try', 'get', 'come', 'come', 'u', 'much', 'possible', 'pushing', 'u', 'away', 'ha', 'put', 'hard', 'stop', 'thatplease', 'need', 'help', 'know', 'else', 'night', 'last', 'breakdown', 'sat', 'talked', 'privately', 'confides', 'trust', 'fh', 'told', 'past', 'dealing', 'fh', 'admittedly', 'ideal', 'person', 'help', 'someone', 'state', 'mind', 'everyone', 'involved', 'aware', 'bad', 'thing', 'kind', 'person', 'talked', 'wa', 'able', 'help', 'calm', 'really', 'tell', 'looking', 'committed', 'relationship', 'long', 'time', 'nothing', 'ever', 'work', 'know', 'one', 'reason', 'admit', 'something', 'help', 'eitherhow', 'help', 'someone', 'dealing', 'much', 'intelligent', 'good', 'looking', 'individual', 'praised', 'work', 'ha', 'good', 'core', 'group', 'friend', 'anything', 'everything', 'family', 'intact', 'supportive', 'even', 'depressed', 'think', 'low', 'dwells', 'relationship', 'status', 'lot', 'even', 'drink', 'lot', 'doe', 'twice', 'week', 'gamenight', 'guy', 'join', 'drink', 'home', 'friday', 'regular', 'spot', 'go', 'regular', 'group', 'guy', 'great', 'guy', 'drinking', 'heavily', 'smoke', 'ha', 'dog', 'home', 'know', 'help', 'growing', 'afraid', 'none', 'going', 'enough', 'closer', 'like', 'believei', 'sorry', 'rambling', 'please', 'help', 'u', 'help', 'go', 'see', 'professional', 'ha']
331
['really', 'feel', 'hopeless', 'continue', 'point', 'well', 'guess', 'preface', 'mentioning', 'fact', 'desperately', 'wanted', 'kill', 'past', 'year', 'barely', 'anything', 'ha', 'changed', 'better', 'far', 'thing', 'changing', 'worse', 'want', 'end', 'life', 'ha', 'persisted', 'ever', 'since', 'thenit', 'started', 'started', 'experiencing', 'bullying', 'school', 'mother', 'becoming', 'abusive', 'school', 'wa', 'target', 'beaten', 'constant', 'taunt', 'home', 'mother', 'started', 'use', 'increasingly', 'violent', 'punishment', 'smaller', 'smaller', 'mistake', 'make', 'matter', 'worse', 'mother', 'would', 'often', 'downplay', 'much', 'would', 'would', 'hurt', 'deny', 'even', 'happened', 'punish', 'lyingsince', 'mother', 'ha', 'decreased', 'violence', 'frequency', 'still', 'doe', 'good', 'year', 'mother', 'became', 'increasingly', 'involved', 'life', 'dad', 'becoming', 'parent', 'took', 'care', 'thankfully', 'unlike', 'mother', 'kind', 'parent', 'would', 'hit', 'child', 'eventually', 'dad', 'became', 'sick', 'eventually', 'moved', 'away', 'live', 'family', 'member', 'wa', 'difficult', 'time', 'household', 'reference', 'mother', 'wa', 'frequently', 'saying', 'wa', 'faking', 'much', 'pain', 'wa', 'inhim', 'falling', 'would', 'frequently', 'go', 'rant', 'god', 'willed', 'get', 'cancer', 'wa', 'wicked', 'man', 'would', 'rant', 'wa', 'able', 'hear', 'themmy', 'dad', 'wa', 'person', 'really', 'protecting', 'nowadays', 'hell', 'honestly', 'take', 'anymore', 'see', 'way', 'aside', 'killing', 'tried', 'contacting', 'authority', 'past', 'took', 'away', 'thing', 'used', 'self', 'harm', 'nothing', 'else', 'except', 'imply', 'thought', 'wa', 'manipulativelying', 'genuinely', 'wa', 'scared', 'life', 'mother', 'wa', 'threatening', 'kill', 'nothingi', 'take', 'really', 'feel', 'hopeless', 'point', 'nothing', 'make', 'happy', 'friend', 'home', 'life', 'living', 'helland', 'well', 'make', 'thing', 'tiniest', 'little', 'bit', 'shit', 'trans', 'well', 'mother', 'quite', 'transphobic', 'refers', 'trans', 'people', 'think', 'disgusting', 'use', 'hormone', 'going', 'able', 'leave', 'household', 'another', 'year', 'even', 'doubt', 'going', 'able', 'get', 'away', 'family', 'good', 'financial', 'situation', 'doubt', 'going', 'enough', 'money', 'even', 'possibly', 'move', 'outit', 'really', 'seems', 'like', 'best', 'option', 'killing', 'nothing', 'getting', 'better', 'life', 'really', 'seems', 'like', 'thing', 'left', 'want', 'keep', 'going', 'honestly', 'killed', 'alreadysorry', 'wa', 'long', 'winded', 'poorly', 'formatted', 'poorly', 'organized', 'apologizes']
267
['suicidal', 'day', 'still', 'passed', 'usually', 'get', 'way', 'recede', 'away', 'day', 'slowly', 'build', 'back', 'time', 'still', 'ready', 'maybe', 'finally', 'time']
19
['stand', 'life', 'alone', 'world', 'everyone', 'ignores', 'feel', 'like', 'invisiblei', 'friend', 'super', 'stressed', 'bored', 'life', 'giving', 'thing', 'everyday', 'feel', 'trapped', 'nothing', 'one', 'willing', 'help', 'box', 'logical', 'way', 'getting', 'commit', 'suicide', 'think', 'ending', 'would', 'fun', 'seeing', 'another', 'day', 'miserable', 'world', 'need', 'help']
40
['dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'second', 'time', 'got', 'argument', 'friend', 'past', 'year', 'friend', 'said', 'im', 'nobody', 'im', 'weirdest', 'person', 'everyone', 'group', 'happened', 'front', 'friend', 'apparently', 'im', 'weird', 'loner', 'nobody', 'friend', 'california', 'moved', 'ohio', 'self', 'esteem', 'wa', 'always', 'low', 'never', 'talk', 'girl', 'never', 'got', 'respect', 'people', 'unless', 'using', 'dont', 'know', 'anymore', 'really', 'want', 'end']
51
['like', 'something', 'wrong', 'cried', 'yesterday', 'work', 'barely', 'make', 'hour', 'without', 'tearing', 'feel', 'empty', 'inside', 'feel', 'like', 'lost', 'everything', 'people', 'called', 'friend', 'admitted', 'hate', 'family', 'falling', 'apart', 'girl', 'loved', 'played', 'know', 'worst', 'part', 'isi', 'fucking', 'deserve', 'made', 'friend', 'hate', 'caused', 'family', 'fall', 'apart', 'broke', 'girl', 'heart', 'many', 'time', 'know', 'lead', 'maybe', 'feel', 'good', 'get', 'chest', 'maybe', 'matter', 'live', 'like', 'anymore', 'worst', 'happens', 'know', 'loved']
63
['bye', 'guy', 'see', 'ya', 'man', 'hope', 'found', 'peace']
8
['die', 'beyond', 'help', 'want', 'get', 'better', 'got', 'strength', 'succeedwhy', 'end']
10
['rip', 'year', 'ago', 'wa', 'born', 'accomplish', 'life', 'year', 'without', 'school', 'job', 'income', 'never', 'ever', 'even', 'spoke', 'girl', 'life', 'except', 'primary', 'school', 'never', 'mind', 'relationship', 'sex', 'human', 'communication', 'month', 'time', 'never', 'friend', 'life', 'bullied', 'school', 'dropped', 'qualification', 'family', 'abadoned', 'yr', 'ago', 'took', 'loan', 'knew', 'wa', 'never', 'gonna', 'able', 'repay', 'debt', 'neck', 'homeless', 'ocd', 'dpdr', 'schizophrenia', 'booked', 'cheap', 'flight', 'another', 'country', 'local', 'transport', 'popular', 'suicide', 'spot', 'hang', 'set', 'fire', 'one', 'ever', 'know', 'bye']
71
['tell', 'therapist', 'want', 'kill', 'therapy', 'appointment', 'tomorrow', 'last', 'week', 'gotten', 'major', 'depressive', 'suicidal', 'slump', 'post', 'stopping', 'know', 'word', 'therapist']
19
['question', 'site', 'make', 'post', 'get', 'lovely', 'comment', 'go', 'back', 'hour', 'later', 'almost', 'always', 'removed', 'commenters', 'site', 'moderator', 'comment', 'temporary', 'going']
20
['please', 'someone', 'help', 'anymore', 'month', 'suicidal', 'every', 'day', 'getting', 'worse', 'terrified', 'bc', 'might', 'edge', 'want', 'feel', 'depressed', 'anymore', 'want', 'pain', 'go', 'away', 'one', 'life', 'help', 'call', 'overdramatic', 'pitiful', 'negative', 'whenever', 'try', 'talking', 'feel', 'need', 'someone', 'help', 'please', 'scared', 'right']
39
['gf', 'friend', 'usa', 'struggling', 'friend', 'order', 'receive', 'support', 'need', 'someone', 'reccomended', 'post', 'herea', 'bit', 'background', 'yo', 'gf', 'met', 'yo', 'girl', 'south', 'carolina', 'online', 'let', 'call', 'e', 'overtime', 'e', 'trusted', 'struggle', 'going', 'anxiety', 'depression', 'abusive', 'unsupportive', 'mom', 'yell', 'notice', 'e', 'feeling', 'sad', 'mom', 'dad', 'divorced', 'mom', 'take', 'care', 'time', 'dad', 'every', 'weekend', 'whole', 'family', 'semitrusts', 'dad', 'girlfriend', 'e', 'mentioned', 'want', 'go', 'hospital', 'safety', 'suicidical', 'thought', 'cannot', 'ask', 'mom', 'thati', 'writing', 'apperently', 'swallowed', 'entire', 'bottle', 'pill', 'morning', 'thing', 'getting', 'serious', 'want', 'help', 'e', 'would', 'best', 'way', 'useful', 'phone', 'number', 'besides', 'suicide', 'prevention', 'one', 'would', 'guide', 'e', 'anxious', 'contact', 'counselor', 'nowthank', 'advanceedit', 'want', 'clarify', 'current', 'moment', 'e', 'emergency', 'state', 'still', 'need', 'support', 'help', 'really', 'appreciate', 'phone', 'number', 'nonemergency', 'case']
116
['suicide', 'prevention', 'week', 'like', 'force', 'everyone', 'live', 'dont', 'feel', 'guilty', 'week']
11
['give', 'die', 'fuckin', 'idiot', 'even', 'well', 'easiest', 'quiz', 'year', 'wa', 'supposed', 'high', 'school', 'review', 'even', 'bother', 'trying', 'never', 'going', 'good', 'everyone', 'else', 'stupid', 'think', 'could', 'even', 'compete']
27
['please', 'help', 'want', 'die', 'think', 'see', 'way', 'need', 'pain', 'stop']
10
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317
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47
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154
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158
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261
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24
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163
['want', 'die', 'parent', 'also', 'reason', 'commited', 'suicide', 'yet', 'long', 'post', 'throwaway', 'obviouslym', 'currently', 'tear', 'typing', 'feel', 'like', 'parent', 'would', 'much', 'better', 'without', 'say', 'love', 'show', 'action', 'seem', 'love', 'older', 'brother', 'much', 'even', 'though', 'deny', 'saying', 'since', 'wa', 'like', 'never', 'wanted', 'think', 'love', 'lot', 'important', 'thing', 'posse', 'yet', 'feel', 'like', 'love', 'always', 'get', 'dirty', 'work', 'boring', 'thing', 'always', 'get', 'shouted', 'meanwhile', 'brother', 'perfect', 'great', 'son', 'say', 'family', 'activity', 'say', 'jokingly', 'like', 'kid', 'lost', 'hope', 'saying', 'since', 'wa', 'like', 'always', 'say', 'joke', 'nothing', 'serious', 'always', 'haunted', 'good', 'friend', 'lonely', 'ugly', 'stupid', 'hopeless', 'etc', 'love', 'friend', 'people', 'would', 'describe', 'nice', 'guy', 'happy', 'nobody', 'know', 'really', 'remember', 'last', 'time', 'wa', 'happy', 'like', 'mask', 'wear', 'pretending', 'happy', 'partying', 'going', 'hanging', 'feel', 'useless', 'time', 'time', 'feel', 'friend', 'family', 'would', 'think', 'last', 'person', 'end', 'life', 'think', 'people', 'schoolcity', 'would', 'think', 'happy', 'meanwhile', 'mental', 'health', 'fucked', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'like', 'year', 'like', 'idea', 'shocking', 'loved', 'one', 'friend', 'family', 'never', 'able', 'see', 'anymorethings', 'went', 'even', 'worse', 'dog', 'passed', 'away', 'month', 'ago', 'wa', 'besides', 'human', 'friend', 'probably', 'best', 'friend', 'back', 'wa', 'younger', 'many', 'friend', 'wa', 'always', 'miss', 'every', 'dayi', 'know', 'think', 'go', 'process', 'physically', 'killing', 'also', 'find', 'much', 'joy', 'happiness', 'life', 'wish', 'could', 'skip', 'retired', 'nobody', 'know', 'really', 'feel', 'nobody', 'could', 'ever', 'talk', 'even', 'would', 'shock', 'shit', 'never', 'ever', 'shown', 'hope', 'way', 'besides', 'killing']
213
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11
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250
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15
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15
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17
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164
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144
['kill', 'soonjust', 'waiting', 'everything', 'fall', 'place', 'bro', 'piece', 'soon', 'fall', 'place', 'whats', 'story']
13
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131
['hate', 'want', 'die', 'fat', 'pathetic', 'disgusting', 'dumb', 'idiot', 'cunt', 'need', 'stop', 'liking', 'thing', 'like', 'stupid', 'disgusting', 'pervert', 'paedophile', 'racist', 'homophobic', 'know', 'voice', 'tell', 'need', 'work', 'female', 'year', 'old', 'know', 'drive', 'friend', 'fat', 'ugly', 'disease', 'ridden', 'fat', 'disgusting', 'matter', 'much', 'try', 'happy', 'push', 'away', 'voice', 'always', 'come', 'back', 'know', 'pathetic', 'piece', 'garbage', 'hate', 'annoying', 'white', 'sounding', 'voice', 'going', 'kill']
58
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78
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128
['scared', 'confused', 'want', 'die', 'hate', 'fat', 'stupid', 'worthless', 'piece', 'trash', 'disgrace', 'know', 'fact', 'people', 'around', 'would', 'much', 'better', 'without', 'find', 'cry', 'secret', 'everyday', 'hiding', 'tear', 'blanket', 'night', 'feel', 'empty', 'lonely', 'surrounded', 'darkness', 'feel', 'like', 'never', 'never', 'fit', 'every', 'night', 'wish', 'could', 'end', 'could', 'disease', 'could', 'jump', 'front', 'moving', 'vehicle', 'save', 'someone', 'letting', 'hit', 'could', 'one', 'thing', 'worth', 'full', 'life', 'want', 'end', 'scary', 'mightmy', 'day', 'mix', 'fake', 'happiness', 'around', 'others', 'swing', 'rage', 'fit', 'depressive', 'feeling', 'know', 'everyone', 'know', 'love', 'would', 'either', 'unaffected', 'better', 'born', 'one', 'know', 'one', 'know', 'feel', 'like', 'nobody', 'talk', 'someone', 'would', 'care', 'nothing', 'live', 'sorry']
97
['kill', 'need', 'reason', 'live', 'hey', 'think', 'killing', 'lot', 'kill', 'since', 'know', 'kind', 'pain', 'would', 'inflict', 'around', 'also', 'think', 'worth', 'distance', 'people', 'killing', 'cost', 'lot', 'time', 'effort', 'find', 'still', 'hurtbut', 'feel', 'zero', 'motivation', 'live', 'thing', 'life', 'serve', 'others', 'ease', 'time', 'world', 'job', 'keep', 'occupied', 'day', 'week', 'sometimes', 'hang', 'friend', 'read', 'watch', 'stuff', 'play', 'game', 'occasionally', 'trying', 'pas', 'time', 'feel', 'like', 'chore', 'thing', 'sport', 'even', 'eating', 'feel', 'motivated', 'care', 'much', 'although', 'eat', 'healthy', 'want', 'much', 'burden', 'planet', 'eitheri', 'feel', 'like', 'burden', 'lot', 'let', 'lot', 'friendship', 'go', 'without', 'attention', 'friend', 'seem', 'mind', 'either', 'spend', 'time', 'energy', 'somewhat', 'appreciated', 'seem', 'lot', 'reciprocatemaybe', 'annoying', 'otherwise', 'rather', 'avoided', 'people', 'maybe', 'show', 'shitty', 'feel', 'life', 'general', 'knowi', 'come', 'ask', 'think', 'live', 'think', 'human', 'cause', 'much', 'harm', 'everything', 'everyone', 'around', 'u', 'inadvertently', 'better', 'exist']
126
['posted', 'rdepression', 'feeling', 'really', 'shitty', 'yesterday', 'wa', 'birthday', 'know', 'bother', 'anymore', 'made', 'plan', 'party', 'today', 'invited', 'people', 'month', 'ago', 'reminded', 'week', 'ago', 'people', 'said', 'bought', 'bonfire', 'permit', 'today', 'lot', 'money', 'right', 'since', 'broke', 'wanted', 'happy', 'birthday', 'well', 'birthday', 'roll', 'hear', 'anyone', 'another', 'loneliest', 'day', 'year', 'today', 'reached', 'people', 'said', 'coming', 'either', 'got', 'reply', 'come', 'literally', 'everyonethis', 'second', 'birthday', 'row', 'something', 'like', 'ha', 'happened', 'spent', 'alone', 'maybe', 'remember', 'mention', 'every', 'holiday', 'people', 'funhalloween', 'ect', 'actually', 'hung', 'friend', 'since', 'graduated', 'college', 'year', 'half', 'agoi', 'thing', 'supposed', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'like', 'going', 'gym', 'trying', 'get', 'university', 'something', 'worthless', 'like', 'college', 'degree', 'quitting', 'toxic', 'job', 'deactivating', 'facebook', 'none', 'fucking', 'working', 'want', 'fucking', 'friend']
109
['sorry', 'wa', 'born', 'important', 'information', 'stay', 'stupid', 'countryi', 'apologise', 'take', 'life', 'sooner', 'family', 'waste', 'money', 'feeding', 'providing', 'accommodation', 'reminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'die', 'sorry', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'speaking', 'english', 'sorry', 'wanted', 'escape', 'safer', 'country', 'tried', 'find', 'help', 'anywhere', 'wa', 'born', 'trans', 'stupid', 'head', 'overwhelmed', 'anxiety', 'stressreminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'diei', 'sorry', 'cut', 'live', 'unhealthy', 'lifestyle', 'spent', 'much', 'money', 'useless', 'video', 'game', 'wa', 'younger', 'love', 'drawing', 'thing', 'even', 'bad', 'apologise', 'wanting', 'escape', 'somewhere', 'safe', 'thought', 'someone', 'pathetic', 'could', 'thatreminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'diemy', 'life', 'mess', 'truly', 'wish', 'never', 'existed', 'sorry', 'today', 'writing', 'message', 'sorry', 'probably', 'already', 'gonereminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'die', 'believe', 'afterlife', 'hope', 'burn', 'hell', 'eternity', 'bornreminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'die', 'reminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'diereminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'diereminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'die', 'forgot', 'mention', 'care', 'anything', 'leaving', 'country', 'impossible', 'anyone', 'tell', 'stay', 'want', 'know', 'hate', 'want', 'stay', 'away', 'make', 'sick', 'since', 'impossible', 'killing', 'right', 'reminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'diereminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'diereminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'diereminder', 'stay', 'country', 'would', 'rather', 'die']
174
['know', 'keep', 'going', 'hi', 'really', 'know', 'start', 'need', 'get', 'people', 'know', 'feeling', 'really', 'chance', 'get', 'better', 'anyone', 'know', 'helpedi', 'sorry', 'long', 'abd', 'whiny', 'probably', 'seems', 'disconnected', 'every', 'little', 'thing', 'add', 'even', 'though', 'know', 'miss', 'much', 'thing', 'feel', 'comfortable', 'sharing', 'sorry', 'written', 'weirdly', 'might', 'make', 'hard', 'read', 'energy', 'write', 'properly', 'know', 'try', 'never', 'able', 'start', 'finish', 'becayse', 'nowi', 'see', 'way', 'hopeless', 'like', 'trans', 'girl', 'mental', 'health', 'everything', 'around', 'ha', 'getting', 'worse', 'worse', 'longi', 'trichotillomania', 'used', 'show', 'like', 'doe', 'people', 'wa', 'younger', 'developed', 'bald', 'patch', 'dysphoria', 'started', 'growing', 'facial', 'body', 'hair', 'quickly', 'turned', 'plucking', 'pulling', 'wellbut', 'hair', 'started', 'getting', 'darker', 'thicker', 'control', 'much', 'damage', 'get', 'face', 'covered', 'scar', 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'didnt', 'seem', 'want', 'help', 'anyway', 'ive', 'tried', 'different', 'medication', 'depression', 'everything', 'made', 'feel', 'weird', 'worse', 'stand', 'keep', 'taking', 'people', 'say', 'lsd', 'help', 'every', 'time', 'done', 'best', 'mildly', 'uncomfortable', 'trip', 'worst', 'led', 'going', 'hospital', 'traumatised', 'worse', 'anything', 'remember', 'taken', 'lot', 'least', 'mean', 'life', 'different', 'least', 'relationship', 'found', 'something', 'called', 'relationship', 'ocd', 'think', 'describes', 'quite', 'well', 'lead', 'break', 'ups', 'last', 'girlfriend', 'wa', 'first', 'person', 'could', 'see', 'real', 'life', 'always', 'looked', 'forward', 'visit', 'wa', 'good', 'bad', 'trip', 'lost', 'ability', 'love', 'like', 'leave', 'hurt', 'much', 'talk', 'miss', 'lot', 'want', 'hurt', 'online', 'friend', 'life', 'talk', 'much', 'forgotten', 'talk', 'people', 'make', 'friend', 'used', 'make', 'lot', 'friend', 'talk', 'load', 'people', 'even', 'really', 'online', 'alli', 'used', 'lot', 'electronics', 'stuff', 'keep', 'entertained', 'least', 'even', 'though', 'know', 'treat', 'thing', 'well', 'everything', 'ha', 'broken', 'know', 'cant', 'afford', 'fix', 'anything', 'live', 'disability', 'housing', 'benefit', 'left', 'food', 'everything', 'delivered', 'go', 'collecting', 'trading', 'card', 'mean', 'least', 'something', 'look', 'forward', 'almost', 'enjoy', 'always', 'chance', 'something', 'good', 'chance', 'feel', 'really', 'get', 'area', 'life', 'give', 'something', 'focus', 'even', 'ocd', 'make', 'collecting', 'toxic', 'sometimes', 'get', 'self', 'conscious', 'feeling', 'childish', 'least', 'something', 'wish', 'could', 'save', 'fix', 'thing', 'get', 'laptop', 'something', 'could', 'make', 'art', 'play', 'game', 'without', 'lot', 'small', 'thing', 'look', 'forward', 'keep', 'going', 'would', 'suffer', 'lot', 'saved', 'switch', 'starving', 'selling', 'thing', 'really', 'want', 'sell', 'could', 'enjoy', 'something', 'new', 'replacement', 'faulty', 'traded', 'cex', 'took', 'trade', 'price', 'day', 'arrived', 'put', 'price', 'screen', 'protector', 'lost', 'lot', 'money', 'feel', 'like', 'really', 'allowed', 'happy', 'good', 'thingsi', 'went', 'pride', 'pretty', 'soon', 'left', 'family', 'got', 'spit', 'someone', 'almost', 'soon', 'arrived', 'wa', 'long', 'time', 'hate', 'group', 'arrived', 'feel', 'like', 'nowhere', 'accepts', 'mei', 'made', 'friend', 'since', 'moved', 'roommate', 'try', 'talked', 'someone', 'online', 'went', 'really', 'well', 'wa', 'supposed', 'go', 'meet', 'together', 'friend', 'arrived', 'say', 'word', 'finished', 'drink', 'left', 'alone', 'really', 'made', 'effort', 'wa', 'supposed', 'move', 'last', 'month', 'roommate', 'get', 'better', 'nowhere', 'would', 'accept', 'work', 'stuck', 'moved', 'roommate', 'bad', 'person', 'anger', 'outburst', 'pushed', 'broke', 'thing', 'house', 'moved', 'long', 'ago', 'never', 'really', 'got', 'scared', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'wa', 'found', 'taken', 'many', 'pill', 'went', 'hospital', 'anyway', 'said', 'need', 'help', 'think', 'would', 'best', 'sectioned', 'said', 'kill', 'responsibility', 'refused', 'help', 'meone', 'online', 'friend', 'recruited', 'friend', 'good', 'helping', 'others', 'know', 'quite', 'good', 'activist', 'stuff', 'like', 'one', 'reason', 'wa', 'able', 'run', 'away', 'seemed', 'give', 'knew', 'bad', 'wa', 'said', 'help', 'nothing', 'know', 'lot', 'expect', 'drop', 'everything', 'appreciate', 'done', 'hurt', 'dropped', 'like', 'told', 'would', 'helpedi', 'feel', 'like', 'allowed', 'happy', 'wa', 'kid', 'got', 'bullied', 'lot', 'especially', 'wa', 'primary', 'school', 'spent', 'least', 'one', 'year', 'friend', 'get', 'happy', 'excited', 'ended', 'extremely', 'ill', 'think', 'still', 'happens', 'ended', 'hospital', 'night', 'birthday', 'always', 'got', 'ill', 'somehow', 'good', 'thingsi', 'wa', 'college', 'year', 'bit', 'got', 'distinction', 'first', 'year', 'knew', 'able', 'cope', 'level', 'course', 'barely', 'got', 'took', 'another', 'level', 'something', 'else', 'got', 'kicked', 'handle', 'lot', 'time', 'people', 'try', 'help', 'think', 'trying', 'difficult', 'get', 'frustrated', 'give', 'promise', 'best', 'little', 'seems', 'work', 'meall', 'able', 'think', 'lately', 'self', 'harm', 'suicide', 'wanted', 'kill', 'since', 'wa', 'reason', 'started', 'cutting', 'anything', 'shark', 'enough', 'usually', 'scared', 'try', 'kill', 'mysskf', 'close', 'breaking', 'point', 'know', 'really', 'try', 'hardest', 'make', 'thing', 'better', 'know', 'best', 'good', 'feel', 'like', 'deserve', 'life', 'always', 'try', 'best', 'good', 'even', 'always', 'succeed', 'know', 'else', 'want', 'able', 'happy', 'confident', 'go', 'outside', 'accepted', 'life', 'friend', 'share', 'good', 'time', 'really', 'miss', 'going', 'outside']
730
['eugenicist', 'think', 'time', 'well', 'worked', 'intellectually', 'pretty', 'much', 'done', 'earth', 'contributed', 'little', 'society', 'much', 'could', 'serious', 'analysis', 'process', 'natural', 'selection', 'know', 'fit', 'reproduction', 'flawed', 'physically', 'genetically', 'absolutely', 'nothing', 'contribute', 'specie', 'via', 'continuance', 'genetic', 'line', 'drained', 'society', 'family', 'beyond', 'point', 'worth', 'know', 'standard', 'argument', 'know', 'people', 'always', 'say', 'simple', 'biological', 'truth', 'natural', 'selection', 'natural', 'unforgiving', 'fit', 'reproduce', 'fit', 'survive', 'due', 'transhumanist', 'reality', 'live', 'continue', 'unnatural', 'existence', 'think', 'time', 'return', 'natural', 'order', 'time', 'go']
72
['thought', 'reaching', 'advice', 'year', 'since', 'ex', 'broke', 'got', 'married', 'feel', 'really', 'shitty', 'destroyed', 'box', 'full', 'memory', 'necklace', 'gave', 'month', 'wish', 'remember', 'feel', 'like', 'shit', 'wa', 'year', 'relationship', 'end', 'good', 'term', 'know', 'wa', 'huge', 'mistake', 'part', 'everything', 'else', 'life', 'want', 'undo', 'really', 'love', 'memory', 'destroyed', 'though', 'wa', 'drunk', 'one', 'night', 'advice', 'get', 'back', 'know', 'wa', 'huge', 'mistake', 'let', 'go', 'honestly', 'even', 'sure', 'let', 'go', 'one', 'ever', 'love', 'like', 'cant', 'live', 'regret', 'rest', 'life']
72
['hang', 'gradually', 'drop', 'like', 'tie', 'noose', 'closet', 'slowly', 'let', 'strangle', 'would', 'work']
12
['posting', 'reading', 'sub', 'today', 'genuinely', 'feel', 'like', 'killing', 'guess', 'knowing', 'people', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'constantly', 'magically', 'making', 'feel', 'le', 'suicidal', 'interesting']
20
['ex', 'called', 'cop', 'night', 'wa', 'talking', 'ex', 'like', 'continuing', 'conversation', 'night', 'ending', 'life', 'keep', 'fighting', 'live', 'anymore', 'take', 'much', 'energy', 'anyways', 'called', 'cop', 'even', 'though', 'told', 'anything', 'night', 'wa', 'angry', 'obviously', 'get', 'wa', 'concerned', 'understand', 'wa', 'worried', 'thing', 'weird', 'parent', 'ride', 'home', 'wa', 'uncomfortable', 'dad', 'wa', 'asking', 'question', 'mom', 'spoken', 'wa', 'never', 'really', 'close', 'parent', 'anyway', 'feel', 'even', 'alone', 'stuck', 'feel', 'bad', 'putting', 'ex', 'position', 'felt', 'like', 'forced', 'stop', 'talking', 'completely', 'alone', 'let', 'feel', 'anything', 'still', 'want', 'die', 'really', 'anything', 'live', 'thought', 'wa', 'helping', 'opposite', 'effect', 'need', 'pick', 'day', 'living', 'simply', 'painful']
92
['figured', 'kill', 'barely', 'take', 'anymore', 'even', 'know', 'good', 'posting', 'need', 'get', 'chest', 'want', 'burden', 'anyone', 'kill', 'hope', 'soon', 'see', 'future', 'friend', 'growing', 'everindifferent', 'towards', 'day', 'go', 'title', 'said', 'decided', 'efficient', 'way', 'going', 'ending', 'know', 'much', 'tolerate', 'thing', 'help', 'remember', 'thing', 'currently', 'happening', 'people', 'around', 'helpless', 'stop', 'want', 'escape', 'want', 'free', 'bullshit']
51
['morality', 'already', 'made', 'mind', 'suicide', 'march', 'lost', 'boyfriend', 'cancer', 'wa', 'important', 'thing', 'world', 'mei', 'know', 'life', 'grave', 'yetmy', 'question', 'time', 'suicide', 'best', 'possible', 'optioni', 'becoming', 'bitter', 'sad', 'every', 'passing', 'day', 'people', 'burdened', 'case', 'made', 'actually', 'good', 'even', 'moral', 'thing', 'remove', 'oneself', 'world', 'especially', 'purpose', 'make', 'people', 'miserable']
47
['would', 'anything', 'end', 'life', 'maybe', 'really', 'hard', 'time', 'depressed', 'every', 'day', 'constantly', 'urge', 'harm', 'kill', 'point', 'forming', 'visualization', 'idea', 'head', 'go', 'last', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'wa', 'march', 'tied', 'bag', 'around', 'head', 'seen', 'many', 'therapist', 'none', 'really', 'helpful', 'except', 'current', 'one', 'telling', 'helping', 'get', 'better', 'lifestyle', 'see', 'point', 'continuing', 'feel', 'like', 'helping', 'really', 'hard', 'open', 'anyone', 'general', 'also', 'really', 'really', 'want', 'kill', 'point', 'continue', 'joy', 'pleasure', 'anything', 'every', 'day', 'sit', 'home', 'pitying', 'thinking', 'way', 'kill', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'matter', 'never', 'mattered', 'anyone', 'flashback', 'stop', 'want', 'want', 'dieedit', 'thinking', 'giving', 'everything', 'job', 'game', 'everything', 'want', 'keep', 'feeling', 'like', 'oxygen', 'thief', 'every', 'day', 'want', 'end', 'keep', 'eating', 'junk', 'food', 'hope', 'heart', 'attack', 'might', 'happen', 'soon']
111
['sick', 'system', 'hey', 'guy', 'year', 'old', 'asianamerican', 'guy', 'u', 'suffering', 'major', 'depression', 'social', 'anxiety', 'adhd', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'getting', 'intense', 'first', 'started', 'wa', 'teenager', 'grown', 'stronger', 'college', 'mainly', 'due', 'stress', 'inability', 'cope', 'real', 'world', 'real', 'best', 'friendsgfs', 'life', 'barely', 'friend', 'always', 'felt', 'talked', 'online', 'people', 'gaming', 'community', 'real', 'life', 'also', 'asian', 'parent', 'tell', 'take', 'pill', 'stay', 'school', 'study', 'never', 'anyone', 'talk', 'issue', 'near', 'end', 'almost', 'motivation', 'living', 'anymore', 'reason', 'done', 'yet', 'music', 'video', 'game', 'anime', 'tv', 'show']
76
['doe', 'life', 'seem', 'bit', 'pointless', 'anyone', 'else', 'rant', 'felt', 'suicidal', 'long', 'remember', 'managed', 'keep', 'lid', 'past', 'year', 'since', 'busy', 'school', 'personal', 'issue', 'yesterday', 'friend', 'people', 'love', 'told', 'want', 'nothing', 'reason', 'either', 'love', 'life', 'also', 'confessed', 'loving', 'back', 'drunken', 'mind', 'reject', 'explore', 'university', 'stay', 'tied', 'greatest', 'day', 'life', 'turned', 'bad', 'wont', 'talk', 'much', 'anymorei', 'thinking', 'suicide', 'night', 'wrote', 'note', 'relapsed', 'bit', 'listened', 'sad', 'song', 'read', 'inspiring', 'article', 'commit', 'suicide', 'started', 'realise', 'matter', 'everything', 'nothing', 'become', 'best', 'profession', 'become', 'rich', 'marry', 'love', 'life', 'meet', 'best', 'friend', 'great', 'life', 'eventually', 'die', 'suffer', 'next', 'year', 'mean', 'nothing', 'end', 'anyway', 'nothing', 'mean', 'anything', 'one', 'day', 'one', 'remember', 'life', 'everything', 'gave', 'shit', 'everything', 'slaved', 'everything', 'worked', 'hard', 'gone', 'forever', 'point', 'anymore', 'probably', 'going', 'kill', 'tonight', 'afraid', 'afterlife', 'go', 'process', 'hanging', 'option', 'right', 'suck', 'feel', 'pain', 'wash', 'entire', 'body', 'every', 'time', 'press', 'another', 'button', 'keyboard', 'remember', 'life', 'meaningless', 'still', 'anything', 'damn']
144
['sick', 'existing', 'scared', 'hurting', 'people', 'love', 'would', 'killed', 'long', 'ago', 'life', 'shitty', 'forced', 'go', 'alone']
15
['anyone', 'care']
2
['suicidal', 'thought', 'every', 'hour', 'year', 'old', 'person', 'clich', 'depressing', 'life', 'situation', 'job', 'experience', 'real', 'friend', 'irl', 'family', 'planning', 'disown', 'college', 'denied', 'application', 'made', 'many', 'wrong', 'turn', 'life', 'point', 'return', 'also', 'living', 'foreign', 'country', 'without', 'able', 'hold', 'proper', 'conversation', 'right', 'home', 'absolutely', 'nothing', 'trying', 'find', 'job', 'task', 'wish', 'could', 'leave', 'someone', 'else', 'realized', 'socalled', 'adult', 'family', 'constantly', 'push', 'pressure', 'tired', 'becoming', 'burden', 'want', 'cause', 'anyone', 'trouble', 'regret', 'everything', 'decision', 'going', 'abroad', 'life', 'point', 'wish', 'wa', 'never', 'born', 'thinking', 'killing', 'whenever', 'family', 'start', 'talking', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'trying', 'guide', 'way', 'adding', 'criticsm', 'already', 'gave', 'feel', 'like', 'gabage', 'every', 'morning', 'wake', 'suffer', 'another', 'day', 'wish', 'courage', 'go', 'realizing', 'totally', 'alone', 'strange', 'land', 'one', 'would', 'help', 'someone', 'pathetic', 'like', 'stand', 'way', 'people', 'look', 'turn', 'away', 'like', 'pity', 'wish', 'could', 'disappear', 'world', 'turn', 'kind', 'flower', 'star', 'like', 'fairy', 'tale', 'really', 'want', 'live', 'anymore', 'quite', 'positive', 'time', 'thing', 'hit', 'see', 'way', 'anymore', 'want', 'end', 'young', 'age', 'many', 'unobtainable', 'dream']
153
['going', 'leave', 'try', 'hardest', 'good', 'constantly', 'fuck', 'destroys', 'see', 'frustrated', 'disappointed', 'reason', 'killed', 'last', 'two', 'year', 'know', 'take', 'much', 'constantly', 'miserable', 'bring', 'everyone', 'around', 'would', 'favor', 'going']
27
['lost', 'everything', 'last', 'month', 'ha', 'avalanche', 'bad', 'news', 'left', 'seasonal', 'job', 'friend', 'found', 'afford', 'finish', 'college', 'lost', 'rest', 'friend', 'last', 'three', 'year', 'feel', 'like', 'waste', 'time', 'spoken', 'family', 'week', 'even', 'speaking', 'term', 'last', 'spoke', 'girlfriend', 'broke', 'show', 'care', 'friend', 'job', 'family', 'money', 'motivation', 'keep', 'going']
45
['iama', 'mandarin', 'chinese', 'go', 'school', 'work', 'year', 'like', 'thing', 'anime', 'game', 'oh', 'hi', 'guy', 'havent', 'really', 'talked', 'anyone', 'today', 'need', 'someone', 'talk', 'toanime', 'really', 'great', 'want', 'wifu']
27
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374
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127
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88
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7
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111
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148
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48
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65
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128
['wanted', 'someone', 'hear', 'one', 'belief', 'last', 'time', 'told', 'drink', 'bleach', 'wa', 'serious', 'found', 'better', 'le', 'violent', 'way', 'mess', 'fall', 'right', 'sleep', 'gnight']
22
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289
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221
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174
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469
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9
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735
['struggling', 'bit', 'rational', 'think', 'would', 'better', 'place', 'right', 'go', 'toptier', 'school', 'track', 'finish', 'degree', 'year', 'despite', 'accomplishment', 'still', 'feel', 'like', 'utter', 'failure', 'enjoy', 'major', 'feel', 'living', 'life', 'ha', 'projected', 'onto', 'asian', 'american', 'go', 'longwinded', 'tangent', 'much', 'think', 'model', 'minority', 'myth', 'bullshit', 'still', 'feel', 'ridiculously', 'burdened', 'pressured', 'great', 'relationship', 'parent', 'still', 'desperate', 'need', 'obtain', 'certain', 'success', 'term', 'successful', 'term', 'sacrificed', 'mental', 'health', 'happiness', 'social', 'life', 'many', 'experience', 'relive', 'caveat', 'suicidal', 'past', 'struggling', 'right', 'certainly', 'lowest', 'point', 'got', 'bit', 'drunk', 'hearing', 'daca', 'crumpled', 'napkin', 'mess', 'right']
84
['need', 'write', 'know', 'anymore', 'feel', 'empty', 'inside', 'dark', 'place', 'head', 'one', 'talk', 'truly', 'alone', 'lost', 'one', 'friend', 'fucking', 'suck', 'top', 'shitty', 'thing', 'doe', 'eat', 'away', 'confront', 'fucking', 'coward', 'know', 'damage', 'person', 'feel', 'like', 'dead', 'end', 'know', 'hell', 'next', 'haha', 'get', 'better', 'mean', 'year', 'feeling', 'way', 'attest', 'fact', 'probably', 'thanks', 'reading', 'anyone']
51
['planning', 'ending', 'year', 'old', 'bisexual', 'woman', 'ha', 'autism', 'bipolar', 'gad', 'adhd', 'also', 'hardcore', 'maladaptive', 'daydreamer', 'top', 'low', 'selfesteemtonight', 'planning', 'choking', 'belt', 'suicide', 'note', 'already', 'written', 'family', 'going', 'write', 'friend', 'well', 'go', 'hospital', 'family', 'afford', 'parent', 'really', 'help', 'first', 'reaction', 'either', 'send', 'hospital', 'never', 'follow', 'money', 'funeral', 'pretty', 'much', 'screwed', 'come', 'getting', 'immediate', 'helpplease', 'somebody', 'give', 'reason', 'live', 'life', 'keep', 'getting', 'worse', 'whether', 'affect', 'take', 'anymore']
65
['want', 'go', 'firstly', 'want', 'apologize', 'english', 'skill', 'every', 'thoughti', 'afraid', 'shitpost', 'head', 'mess', 'everything', 'get', 'worst', 'could', 'end', 'day', 'wa', 'online', 'think', 'whole', 'day', 'checking', 'ex', 'account', 'waiting', 'miracle', 'maybe', 'recently', 'showed', 'sign', 'miss', 'much', 'added', 'music', 'deleted', 'saw', 'school', 'yesterday', 'eye', 'contact', 'first', 'time', 'month', 'wa', 'abusive', 'horrible', 'relationship', 'month', 'nocontact', 'still', 'move', 'online', 'action', 'connected', 'going', 'insane', 'obsessive', 'remembered', 'everything', 'everything', 'happened', 'last', 'month', 'think', 'two', 'large', 'post', 'really', 'matter', 'feel', 'go', 'regret', 'already', 'state', 'mind', 'messywhat', 'problem', 'ok', 'year', 'old', 'transgender', 'female', 'diy', 'hrt', 'homophobic', 'dangerous', 'country', 'environment', 'tried', 'fought', 'remember', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'age', 'younger', 'alcoholic', 'abusive', 'father', 'day', 'living', 'mom', 'another', 'flat', 'wa', 'whole', 'childhood', 'grandmother', 'kind', 'crazy', 'hate', 'father', 'belief', 'everything', 'read', 'saw', 'really', 'insane', 'childhood', 'wa', 'scared', 'supernatural', 'thing', 'told', 'wa', 'father', 'probably', 'bipolar', 'incredible', 'stress', 'hopelessness', 'brother', 'ha', 'bipolar', 'disorder', 'officially', 'attempted', 'suicide', 'year', 'ago', 'found', 'mother', 'scary', 'know', 'name', 'tell', 'homework', 'totally', 'messed', 'mind', 'cry', 'near', 'one', 'day', 'stabbed', 'pencil', 'arm', 'something', 'want', 'education', 'make', 'hell', 'total', 'restriction', 'physical', 'beating', 'everything', 'ha', 'hand', 'wa', 'ok', 'school', 'year', 'started', 'begin', 'take', 'pressure', 'say', 'bad', 'lazy', 'nothing', 'energy', 'drained', 'fighting', 'night', 'thought', 'unbearable', 'also', 'teacher', 'hate', 'threaten', 'hair', 'cut', 'completely', 'shave', 'thing', 'make', 'bit', 'happy', 'yeah', 'know', 'problem', 'may', 'seem', 'easy', 'worthing', 'attention', 'hit', 'full', 'strength', 'pressure', 'side', 'socialization', 'school', 'relationship', 'familythat', 'messed', 'know', 'believe', 'relieve', 'emotional', 'pain', 'anxious', 'go', 'outside', 'begin', 'sweating', 'trembling', 'therethe', 'school', 'demand', 'incredible', 'effort', 'training', 'exam', 'every', 'teacher', 'hate', 'want', 'best', 'psychologist', 'watching', 'last', 'year', 'mom', 'say', 'useless', 'shit', 'everyday', 'lot', 'deadline', 'everybody', 'hate', 'look', 'boy', 'allowed', 'wear', 'long', 'hair', 'individuality', 'drive', 'teacher', 'crazy', 'law', 'side', 'guess', 'anything', 'want', 'stop', 'stop', 'want', 'relief', 'want', 'diebut', 'cut', 'literally', 'every', 'day', 'wrist', 'thigh', 'help', 'bit', 'think', 'one', 'minute', 'hold', 'know', 'disappoint', 'mother', 'want', 'think', 'make', 'feel', 'worse', 'tomorrow', 'alone', 'home', 'school', 'hour', 'maybe', 'time', 'go', 'want', 'try', 'life', 'though', 'oh', 'done', 'anything', 'wanted', 'recently', 'want', 'leave', 'track', 'mark', 'want', 'everybody', 'school', 'know', 'disappearance', 'ex', 'know', 'know', 'push', 'guess', 'start', 'planning', 'soon', 'take', 'anymore', 'thanks', 'reading', 'trash', 'maybe', 'low', 'state']
338
['tired', 'depressed', 'time', 'week', 'get', 'tired', 'depressed', 'want', 'kill', 'one', 'moment', 'hate', 'seeing', 'people', 'happy', 'especially', 'couple', 'relationship', 'ended', 'terribly', 'cowing', 'fear', 'abusive', 'ex', 'finally', 'take', 'broke', 'themi', 'know', 'supposed', 'derive', 'happiness', 'another', 'person', 'feel', 'lost', 'wa', 'miserable', 'ex', 'miserable', 'without', 'hate', 'actually', 'miserable', 'entire', 'year', 'still', 'relatively', 'young', 'wasting', 'whatever', 'youth', 'left', 'friend', 'feel', 'like', 'bring', 'spend', 'time', 'want', 'go', 'social', 'thing', 'feel', 'crippled', 'anxiety', 'afford', 'therapist', 'live', 'foreign', 'country', 'returned', 'usa', 'live', 'parentsthis', 'feeling', 'pas', 'come', 'back', 'later', 'want', 'die', 'right']
83
['nothing', 'fix', 'want', 'take', 'pill', 'sleep', 'forever', 'tired', 'failing', 'everything', 'fianc', 'left', 'move', 'back', 'home', 'family', 'understand', 'mom', 'looked', 'like', 'wa', 'crazy', 'told', 'think', 'needed', 'admitted', 'point', 'fighting', 'demon', 'anymore', 'tell', 'exactly', 'many', 'pill', 'bottle']
35
['wish', 'wa', 'never', 'born', 'one', 'wish', 'rest', 'eternity', 'ball', 'shit', 'called', 'earth', 'human', 'stop', 'breeding']
15
['preparing', 'thinking', 'starting', 'countdown', 'solving', 'ha', 'solved', 'able', 'go']
9
['temptation', 'wa', 'real', 'today', 'decided', 'bath', 'today', 'happened', 'coincide', 'breakdown', 'cut', 'bath', 'wanting', 'go', 'deep', 'decided', 'againt', 'wrist', 'thought', 'mum', 'wanting', 'bath', 'breaking', 'look', 'died']
25
['please', 'remove', 'owe', 'k', 'student', 'loan', 'private', 'loan', 'hope', 'paying', 'plan', 'end', 'jumping', 'height', 'foreword', 'remove', 'first', 'timei', 'plan', 'giving', 'letter', 'front', 'desk', 'person', 'building', 'plan', 'jump', 'offto', 'may', 'concernthis', 'letter', 'front', 'desk', 'personnel', 'staff', 'recovers', 'body', 'donate', 'organ', 'anyone', 'needing', 'also', 'donate', 'part', 'body', 'science', 'nobody', 'cremate', 'remains', 'scientific', 'entity', 'finished', 'bodyi', 'left', 'hair', 'sample', 'dna', 'sample', 'clone', 'two', 'copy', 'science', 'human', 'cloning', 'maturesi', 'deep', 'student', 'loan', 'debt', 'private', 'loan', 'alone', 'total', 'student', 'loan', 'interest', 'august', 'hope', 'paying', 'planning', 'end', 'life', 'going', 'rooftop', 'jumping', 'offin', 'unlikely', 'event', 'letter', 'find', 'benefactor', 'still', 'alive', 'bank', 'routing', 'number', 'bank', 'account', 'number', 'lawyer', 'town', 'take', 'bankruptcy', 'case', 'student', 'loan', 'possible', 'circumstance', 'discharge', 'student', 'loan', 'bankruptcy', 'student', 'loan', 'bankruptcy', 'case', 'however', 'complex', 'would', 'money', 'lawyer', 'anyway', 'would', 'needed', 'probono', 'lawyer', 'casethere', 'incomebased', 'repayment', 'private', 'loan', 'minimum', 'payment', 'high', 'would', 'become', 'homeless', 'forced', 'make', 'themit', 'appears', 'amount', 'prayer', 'bring', 'miracle', 'situationmy', 'body', 'get', 'cremated', 'buried', 'government', 'disability', 'status', 'entitle', 'funeral', 'burial', 'paid', 'government', 'lose', 'hair', 'sample', 'feel', 'free', 'exhume', 'body', 'extract', 'dna', 'sample', 'almost', 'cloning', 'timemy', 'clone', 'developed', 'straight', 'growth', 'stage', 'adulthood', 'start', 'growth', 'stage', 'year', 'old', 'growth', 'stage', 'acceleration', 'possible', 'otherwise', 'clone', 'may', 'born', 'normal', 'way', 'artificial', 'womb', 'need', 'clone', 'taught', 'never', 'take', 'student', 'loan', 'instead', 'work', 'save', 'community', 'collegei', 'sorry', 'went', 'way', 'head', 'hoping', 'life', 'would', 'succeed', 'pay', 'loan', 'somehow', 'life', 'ha', 'failed', 'miserablyregrettably']
221
['attempted', 'drown', 'sent', 'suicide', 'letter', 'family', 'mind', 'made', 'went', 'drown', 'lake', 'neighborhood', 'thought', 'inhaled', 'water', 'soon', 'went', 'would', 'take', 'long', 'lose', 'consciousness', 'must', 'done', 'something', 'wrong', 'wa', 'felt', 'like', 'eternity', 'tried', 'take', 'much', 'water', 'possible', 'started', 'struggle', 'air', 'held', 'branch', 'water', 'order', 'stay', 'lake', 'wa', 'way', 'shallow', 'assumed', 'wa', 'literally', 'fighting', 'survival', 'instinct', 'lost', 'feeling', 'started', 'slip', 'away', 'head', 'came', 'water', 'coughed', 'lot', 'water', 'lost', 'feeling', 'arm', 'hand', 'head', 'automatically', 'came', 'wa', 'deeper', 'think', 'right', 'wa', 'hour', 'ago', 'able', 'stop', 'coughing', 'since', 'chest', 'feel', 'terrible', 'sad', 'part', 'upset', 'successful']
89
['wish', 'gut', 'end', 'every', 'time', 'think', 'much', 'think', 'quite', 'point', 'want', 'ever', 'point']
13
['crippling', 'fear', 'dark', 'burden', 'fear', 'dark', 'childish', 'child', 'scared', 'dark', 'sick', 'tired', 'ive', 'always', 'fear', 'dark', 'child', 'wa', 'bad', 'got', 'older', 'settled', 'bit', 'couldnt', 'dark', 'room', 'without', 'freaking', 'could', 'sleep', 'one', 'recently', 'fear', 'ha', 'come', 'back', 'worse', 'child', 'would', 'keep', 'door', 'open', 'sleep', 'light', 'always', 'feel', 'like', 'im', 'watched', 'followed', 'ive', 'never', 'stalked', 'life', 'related', 'traumatic', 'past', 'always', 'look', 'behind', 'see', 'thing', 'light', 'dark', 'think', 'going', 'kill', 'unberable', 'cannot', 'live', 'like', 'cannot', 'live', 'cooped', 'house', 'light', 'also', 'live', 'parent', 'simply', 'cannot', 'left', 'alone', 'otherwise', 'id', 'major', 'panic', 'attack', 'parent', 'call', 'childishstupid', 'say', 'dont', 'idiot', 'hurt', 'cannot', 'live', 'normally', 'like', 'wont', 'even', 'help', 'driving', 'insane', 'want', 'die', 'end', 'imagine', 'something', 'always', 'corner', 'eye', 'taunting', 'dont', 'kill', 'whatever', 'following', 'dont', 'believe', 'ghost', 'longer', 'sleep', 'stay', 'light', 'cant', 'anymore', 'cant', 'one', 'take', 'seriously', 'told', 'friend', 'laughed', 'realised', 'wa', 'serious', 'still', 'wasnt', 'genuine', 'think', 'ending', 'mine', 'someone', 'el', 'life', 'need', 'helo', 'id', 'rather', 'die', 'dont', 'think', 'im', 'going', 'tomorrow', 'think', 'id', 'finally', 'ball', 'kill']
160
['ugh', 'fuck', 'doe', 'keep', 'like', 'lie', 'rather', 'get', 'bit', 'black', 'widow']
11
['always', 'get', 'downvoted', 'reddit', 'matter', 'post', 'comment', 'deleted', 'post', 'comment', 'le', 'point', 'embarrassing', 'happened', 'people', 'downvoted', 'everyone', 'hate', 'want', 'die']
20
['good', 'title', 'describe', 'feel', 'like', 'figure', 'whether', 'emotion', 'pattern', 'thinking', 'world', 'seems', 'like', 'cruel', 'joke', 'right', 'happiness', 'hope', 'tend', 'cling', 'onto', 'seems', 'best', 'meaningless', 'fake', 'tell', 'whether', 'one', 'deluded', 'extreme', 'negativity', 'truly', 'seeing', 'world', 'honest', 'light', 'believe', 'thing', 'get', 'better', 'wrong', 'like', 'everything', 'ridiculously', 'insignificant', 'feel', 'like', 'nothing', 'matter', 'point', 'capable', 'anything', 'change', 'least', 'long', 'run', 'nothing', 'would', 'last', 'substantial', 'effect', 'life', 'certainly', 'want', 'live', 'dying', 'option', 'feel', 'trapped', 'lost']
70
['never', 'know', 'felt', 'like', 'shoe', 'getting', 'tired', 'hearing', 'excuse', 'getting', 'sick', 'really', 'tired', 'understanding', 'people', 'pushed', 'way', 'fari', 'done', 'nothing', 'life', 'far', 'long', 'people', 'tell', 'always', 'fault', 'never', 'anything', 'fell', 'need', 'get', 'back', 'matter', 'consequence', 'fault', 'therefore', 'loss', 'long', 'run', 'reality', 'lost', 'alot', 'trying', 'catch', 'majority', 'real', 'life', 'people', 'talked', 'always', 'tell', 'try', 'understand', 'people', 'know', 'suffering', 'like', 'different', 'circumstance', 'heck', 'brother', 'realized', 'hard', 'life', 'wa', 'carried', 'everything', 'went', 'place', 'went', 'apologizing', 'despite', 'losing', 'everything', 'parent', 'realized', 'year', 'gravity', 'mistake', 'willing', 'send', 'back', 'project', 'wa', 'suppose', 'cv', 'portfolio', 'finally', 'ruined', 'despite', 'numerous', 'warning', 'gave', 'damage', 'long', 'run', 'confusing', 'state', 'thing', 'parent', 'heavily', 'threatening', 'send', 'god', 'know', 'literally', 'death', 'isolation', 'teach', 'lesson', 'trying', 'get', 'along', 'people', 'learn', 'kiss', 'get', 'place', 'put', 'blame', 'solely', 'ever', 'doe', 'happened', 'gladly', 'embrace', 'death', 'open', 'arm', 'heck', 'list', 'shit', 'people', 'melied', 'stabbed', 'back', 'even', 'borrowed', 'money', 'never', 'paid', 'insulted', 'even', 'straight', 'created', 'rumor', 'spread', 'secret', 'get', 'wanted', 'even', 'made', 'fun', 'bordered', 'bullying', 'hobby', 'even', 'told', 'people', 'telling', 'strong', 'claimedwhich', 'true', 'fuck', 'reason', 'enjoy', 'company', 'animal', 'people']
170
['want', 'stop', 'ghosted', 'get', 'pathetic', 'annoying', 'piece', 'shit', 'please', 'least', 'tell', 'sad', 'get', 'left', 'read', 'see', 'message', 'person', 'anymore', 'fucking', 'defeat', 'put', 'sad', 'depressed', 'suicidal', 'mood', 'want', 'end', 'happens', 'even', 'worse', 'see', 'person', 'talking', 'group', 'chat', 'even', 'bother', 'message', 'back', 'understand', 'sound', 'like', 'selfish', 'person', 'please', 'begging', 'longer', 'want', 'talk', 'tell', 'make', 'thing', 'much', 'easier', 'instead', 'leave', 'read', 'make', 'want', 'die', 'even', 'usually']
63
['ready', 'die', 'point', 'drink', 'heavily', 'ever', 'since', 'haley', 'left', 'actually', 'loved', 'school', 'rumor', 'spread', 'move', 'moved', 'mississippi', 'away', 'step', 'dad', 'let', 'dad', 'took', 'away', 'able', 'hold', 'relationship', 'since', 'almost', 'died', 'sleep', 'threw', 'wa', 'side', 'way', 'want', 'die', 'much', 'pussy', 'know', 'lasted', 'long', 'gonna', 'snap', 'within', 'month', 'every', 'human', 'ha', 'breaking', 'point', 'mine', 'nearing', 'post', 'mom', 'number', 'going']
57
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454
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154
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28
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126
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185
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56
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138
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109
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73
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91
['go', 'inpatient', 'wa', 'inpatient', 'may', 'make', 'use', 'resource', 'totally', 'regret', 'iti', 'moved', 'longer', 'resource', 'sure', 'seen', 'post', 'least', 'monthly', 'immediate', 'risk', 'moment', 'going', 'take', 'time', 'school', 'get', 'betteri', 'worry', 'inpatient', 'get', 'bad', 'attempt', 'thought', 'deal', 'process']
36
['trying', 'keep', 'head', 'trying', 'get', 'together', 'senior', 'year', 'need', 'pick', 'far', 'farther', 'know', 'problem', 'mine', 'alone', 'want', 'burden', 'parentsone', 'thing', 'making', 'hard', 'pretty', 'lonely', 'trying', 'make', 'friend', 'reddit', 'lot', 'fails', 'say', 'least', 'help', 'need', 'someone', 'talk', 'easy', 'feel', 'one', 'sided', 'conversation', 'hard', 'keep', 'trying', 'feel', 'way', 'people', 'try', 'talk', 'stop', 'talking', 'reply', 'wrong', 'want', 'someone', 'talk', 'real', 'friend', 'much', 'expect', 'good', 'news', 'feeling', 'somewhat', 'better', 'sure', 'long', 'last', 'tbh', 'lol']
70
['worthless', 'left', 'someone', 'better', 'piece', 'shit', 'even', 'social', 'life', 'anymore', 'died', 'lucky', 'anyone', 'noticed', 'point', 'living', 'nothing', 'live', 'sure', 'hate', 'almost', 'month', 'think', 'every', 'day', 'loved', 'left', 'found', 'better', 'deal', 'guess', 'blame', 'wanting', 'sack', 'shit', 'like']
36
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131
['decided', 'going', 'kill', 'tomorrow', 'monday', 'th', 'pm', 'sunday', 'decided', 'going', 'kill', 'tomorrow', 'senior', 'may', 'change', 'mind', 'far', 'think', 'maybe', 'tomorrow', 'best', 'day', 'life', 'maybe', 'tomorrow', 'thing', 'change', 'maybe', 'meet', 'new', 'person', 'maybe', 'get', 'help', 'either', 'way', 'wanted', 'someone', 'know', 'call', 'cop', 'anything', 'maybe', 'something', 'someone', 'say', 'keep', 'alive', 'one', 'say']
50
['break', 'brain', 'four', 'month', 'ago', 'end', 'april', 'tried', 'kill', 'alcohol', 'poisoning', 'ended', 'going', 'hospital', 'flushed', 'systemi', 'since', 'attempt', 'depression', 'ha', 'worse', 'lost', 'live', 'wonder', 'caused', 'sort', 'permanent', 'damage', 'action', 'make', 'even', 'harder', 'hope', 'future']
34
['need', 'talk', 'someone', 'feel', 'similair', 'wish', 'wa', 'never', 'born', 'could', 'sleep', 'forever', 'even', 'happy', 'would', 'rather', 'anything', 'make', 'sense', 'like', 'world', 'absolutely', 'hate', 'find', 'difficult', 'talk', 'people', 'focus', 'lot', 'making', 'sure', 'thanks', 'reading']
33
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105
['cannot', 'stop', 'thinking', 'ending', 'life', 'mean', 'logically', 'know', 'make', 'sense', 'good', 'life', 'loving', 'partner', 'supportive', 'family', 'roof', 'head', 'also', 'absolutely', 'sure', 'one', 'actually', 'want', 'around', 'really', 'want', 'around', 'tolerate', 'thing', 'outside', 'utility', 'worthless', 'lost', 'job', 'month', 'ago', 'plenty', 'time', 'think', 'act', 'even', 'reason', 'aborted', 'last', 'attempt', 'wa', 'vividly', 'pictured', 'partner', 'finding', 'dead', 'body', 'handle', 'worthless', 'pointless', 'feeling', 'mind', 'anymore', 'tired', 'fighting', 'death', 'seems', 'better', 'better', 'might', 'able', 'see', 'doctor', 'day', 'therapist', 'advocating', 'go', 'stronger', 'antidepressant', 'medication', 'anti', 'anxiety', 'think', 'help', 'make', 'alive', 'head', 'painful']
84
['sitting', 'building', 'waiting', 'jump', 'sitting', 'top', 'story', 'building', 'minute', 'hate', 'life', 'much', 'one', 'care', 'reason', 'slide', 'end']
17
['almost', 'attempted', 'thought', 'wa', 'getting', 'better', 'guess', 'noose', 'ready', 'head', 'yet', 'wish', 'courage']
13
['done', 'worthless', 'piece', 'shit', 'want', 'anyone', 'dealing', 'body', 'die', 'apology', 'formidably', 'long', 'read', 'rule', 'state', 'ask', 'suggestioni', 'want', 'tell', 'story', 'put', 'feeling', 'yearsi', 'would', 'like', 'clarify', 'outset', 'writing', 'impulse', 'planning', 'suicide', 'year', 'nowi', 'since', 'wa', 'always', 'felt', 'misfit', 'always', 'felt', 'floating', 'inside', 'body', 'purpose', 'world', 'loser', 'evil', 'incarnate', 'never', 'normal', 'realized', 'wa', 'throughout', 'school', 'college', 'year', 'faking', 'everythingsmilefriendshiphappinessetc', 'others', 'know', 'face', 'underneath', 'mask', 'put', 'enough', 'workone', 'day', 'came', 'home', 'without', 'informing', 'anyone', 'workand', 'tried', 'contact', 'avoided', 'iti', 'wa', 'terminated', 'lied', 'friend', 'got', 'job', 'another', 'cityfor', 'past', 'monthsi', 'lying', 'themwhile', 'planning', 'suicide', 'got', 'hold', 'sleeping', 'pillsi', 'want', 'end', 'cause', 'minimal', 'harm', 'family', 'want', 'find', 'body', 'traumatic', 'hell', 'would', 'great', 'even', 'know', 'wa', 'dead', 'went', 'missingi', 'always', 'imagined', 'would', 'get', 'place', 'like', 'desert', 'breaking', 'bad', 'tv', 'series', 'commit', 'suicide', 'sometime', 'wish', 'someone', 'would', 'kill', 'dump', 'place', 'like', 'thatalas', 'live', 'third', 'world', 'country', 'know', 'place', 'saying', 'would', 'understand', 'coming', 'suicidal', 'thought', 'since', 'childhood', 'feeling', 'like', 'waste', 'spaceso', 'please', 'try', 'convince', 'heard', 'wont', 'help', 'hell', 'probably', 'like', 'wa', 'like', 'wa', 'born', 'nothing', 'compared', 'pathetic', 'life', 'live', 'sound', 'great', 'meplease', 'help', 'mepm', 'ideashelp', 'world', 'getting', 'ridding']
181
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63
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407
['fella', 'member', 'one', 'fandom', 'community', 'pretty', 'bad', 'place', 'right', 'fandom', 'sub', 'resource', 'training', 'handle', 'wa', 'hoping', 'reddit', 'could', 'thing', 'thank']
20
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94
['wanted', 'say', 'thanks', 'every', 'time', 'get', 'comment', 'warms', 'heart', 'thank', 'guy', 'always', 'kind', 'supportive', 'awesome', 'people']
16
['thinking', 'suicide', 'many', 'fluoxetine', 'would', 'take', 'kill', 'someone', 'around', 'pound']
10
['would', 'mean', 'lot', 'someone', 'saw', 'know', 'anymore', 'hope', 'someone', 'read', 'thought', 'wa', 'getting', 'better', 'summer', 'know', 'happened', 'gay', 'male', 'went', 'school', 'accepted', 'last', 'year', 'could', 'finally', 'express', 'wa', 'first', 'time', 'felt', 'happy', 'year', 'new', 'school', 'already', 'made', 'fun', 'gay', 'lot', 'guy', 'school', 'come', 'near', 'like', 'sort', 'disease', 'know', 'something', 'bother', 'anymore', 'come', 'back', 'metaphorically', 'punch', 'stomach', 'ha', 'going', 'year', 'march', 'put', 'hospital', 'month', 'overdosed', 'know', 'everyone', 'think', 'fine', 'want', 'worry', 'people', 'stay', 'night', 'cry', 'day', 'focus', 'anything', 'know', 'anymore', 'making', 'worse', 'got', 'kicked', 'school', 'grade', 'low', 'motivate', 'work', 'hard', 'got', 'day', 'wa', 'around', 'friend', 'knowing', 'truly', 'cared', 'different', 'school', 'away', 'changed', 'school', 'lot', 'went', 'one', 'wa', 'severely', 'bullied', 'one', 'daily', 'basis', 'beaten', 'group', 'kid', 'almost', 'daily', 'basis', 'ended', 'running', 'away', 'school', 'one', 'night', 'slept', 'wood', 'police', 'found', 'next', 'morning', 'school', 'similar', 'school', 'wa', 'wa', 'bullied', 'giving', 'panic', 'attack', 'cause', 'afraid', 'gonna', 'happen', 'keep', 'thinking', 'trying', 'overdose', 'thing', 'keeping', 'worrying', 'fuck', 'end', 'hospital', 'allowed', 'long', 'time', 'psych', 'ward', 'twice', 'attempting', 'jump', 'bridge', 'fourth', 'grade', 'year', 'hospital', 'worse', 'death']
167
['think', 'may', 'end', 'soon', 'hey', 'senior', 'high', 'school', 'outside', 'life', 'look', 'pretty', 'good', 'lot', 'friend', 'good', 'family', 'hurting', 'long', 'time', 'hate', 'way', 'look', 'act', 'think', 'recently', 'lost', 'lb', 'try', 'turn', 'life', 'around', 'work', 'made', 'realize', 'still', 'hate', 'person', 'recently', 'found', 'male', 'pattern', 'baldness', 'ruined', 'self', 'esteem', 'left', 'look', 'around', 'people', 'see', 'acting', 'happy', 'realize', 'never', 'like', 'know', 'search', 'happiness', 'much', 'longer']
61
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615
['take', 'anymore', 'girlfriend', 'broke', 'today', 'called', 'said', 'even', 'though', 'love', 'feel', 'love', 'long', 'distance', 'working', 'one', 'person', 'trusted', 'cherished', 'world', 'gonemy', 'mind', 'body', 'regressing', 'last', 'couple', 'week', 'shell', 'wa', 'barely', 'hold', 'conversation', 'barely', 'process', 'word', 'speech', 'anymore', 'mind', 'constantly', 'empty', 'sluggish', 'eaten', 'day', 'feel', 'empty', 'take', 'living', 'anymore', 'tried', 'reaching', 'one', 'listen', 'going', 'hang', 'like', 'tried', 'failed', 'friday', 'already', 'written', 'note', 'going', 'say', 'goodnight', 'family', 'goodbye', 'reddit', 'thank', 'everything', 'somehow', 'fail', 'try', 'come', 'back', 'people', 'actually', 'helped', 'one', 'else', 'would', 'thank']
81
['hi', 'everyone', 'feeling', 'suicidal', 'want', 'kill', 'scared', 'either', 'want', 'back', 'together', 'exboyfriend', 'dead', 'think', 'first', 'option', 'going', 'happen', 'think', 'going', 'kill', 'soon', 'concert', 'saturday', 'cause', 'lot', 'drama', 'getting', 'fucked', 'high', 'maybe', 'concert', 'day', 'planned', 'yet', 'leaving', 'earth', 'soon', 'feel', 'body']
40
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121
['want', 'people', 'say', 'known', 'could', 'done', 'something', 'seen', 'people', 'reaction', 'suicide', 'plenty', 'time', 'throughout', 'last', 'three', 'year', 'unfortunately', 'family', 'friend', 'often', 'say', 'thing', 'make', 'wonder', 'saying', 'really', 'truth', 'ifwhen', 'kill', 'reaction', 'say', 'known', 'could', 'done', 'something', 'reality', 'genuinely', 'knew', 'would', 'know', 'would', 'many', 'opportunity', 'help', 'guess', 'saying', 'clearly', 'priority', 'life', 'fine', 'least', 'please', 'pretend', 'everything', 'could', 'wa', 'number', 'one', 'priority', 'life', 'know', 'bad', 'really', 'wasyou', 'owe', 'anything', 'please', 'try', 'create', 'lie', 'order', 'death', 'seen', 'unexpected', 'preventable', 'known', 'order', 'justify', 'big', 'priority', 'life', 'dead', 'need', 'explain', 'people', 'circumstance', 'around']
88
['much', 'anymore', 'tried', 'many', 'method', 'never', 'work', 'want', 'go', 'sleep', 'exist', 'perpetual', 'nothingness']
13
['doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'feel', 'like', 'need', 'institutionalised', 'often', 'daydream', 'going', 'prison', 'another', 'failed', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'sent', 'psychiatric', 'health', 'place', 'think', 'attracted', 'idea', 'allowed', 'start', 'scratch', 'god', 'know', 'almost', 'suicidal', 'urge', 'come', 'fear', 'past', 'maybe', 'struggle', 'see', 'future', 'without', 'wiping', 'slate', 'clean', 'starting', 'lock', 'away', 'drink', 'distraction', 'forced', 'routine', 'first', 'cynically', 'protest', 'undermine', 'prison', 'though', 'come', 'stampapproved', 'normal', 'person', 'always', 'wanted', 'forced', 'recourse', 'browsing', 'reddit', 'playing', 'video', 'game', 'getting', 'drunk', 'spend', 'timebut', 'scared', 'know', 'come', 'hard', 'fall', 'old', 'routine', 'want', 'put', 'away', 'somewhere', 'long', 'broken', 'black', 'dog', 'put', 'like', 'quarantine', 'soulapologies', 'ramble', 'somewhat', 'drunk', 'access', 'atm', 'anything', 'could', 'kill']
98
['feel', 'broken', 'feel', 'worthless', 'consistent', 'ridicule', 'people', 'care', 'ha', 'always', 'negative', 'effect', 'especially', 'recently', 'struggling', 'find', 'live', 'license', 'almost', 'feel', 'behind', 'pack', 'useless', 'mother', 'want', 'come', 'live', 'see', 'much', 'headache', 'burden', 'terrible', 'woman', 'want', 'feel', 'loved', 'tired', 'alone', 'tired', 'given', 'father', 'grand', 'last', 'month', 'keep', 'house', 'necessity', 'need', 'brother', 'kicked', 'last', 'year', 'still', 'continually', 'talk', 'poorly', 'mother', 'never', 'liked', 'anyways', 'ha', 'enticing', 'feeling', 'death', 'seems', 'ever', 'clear', 'want', 'sleep', 'want', 'someone', 'talk', 'let', 'anyone', 'know', 'like', 'family', 'friend', 'associate', 'think', 'happy', 'fellow', 'im', 'haha', 'try', 'good', 'care', 'others', 'make', 'sure', 'taken', 'care', 'feel', 'way', 'afraid', 'ask', 'help', 'want', 'slink', 'away', 'somewhere', 'quiet', 'dark', 'want', 'found']
105
['add', 'insult', 'injury', 'made', 'prior', 'post', 'look', 'history', 'broke', 'long', 'term', 'friendi', 'actually', 'sipping', 'whiskey', 'wrote', 'curt', 'nasty', 'thing', 'curse', 'anything', 'wrote', 'felt', 'thing', 'perceived', 'told', 'contact', 'spoke', 'friend', 'mine', 'noticed', 'wa', 'much', 'le', 'happy', 'past', 'month', 'trying', 'make', 'feel', 'better', 'pointed', 'wa', 'choice', 'wanted', 'reconcile', 'mistake', 'wasi', 'send', 'apology', 'text', 'said', 'wa', 'fine', 'tell', 'meet', 'day', 'later', 'different', 'town', 'go', 'drive', 'knew', 'something', 'else', 'prior', 'tell', 'said', 'really', 'need', 'tell', 'certain', 'thing', 'say', 'fine', 'tell', 'thing', 'battled', 'depression', 'many', 'year', 'time', 'said', 'really', 'want', 'go', 'back', 'watching', 'tv', 'show', 'wa', 'watching', 'project', 'runway', 'barely', 'talk', 'minute', 'took', 'minute', 'drive', 'say', 'needed', 'tell', 'say', 'hang', 'weekend', 'text', 'later', 'far', 'textthe', 'next', 'day', 'get', 'call', 'cousin', 'mother', 'aunt', 'died', 'wa', 'close', 'age', 'gap', 'year', 'well', 'infighting', 'parent', 'intermediary', 'go', 'talk', 'cousin', 'went', 'wednesday', 'night', 'hour', 'talking', 'one', 'cousin', 'went', 'today', 'talking', 'cousin', 'today', 'wa', 'emotionally', 'draining', 'uncle', 'telling', 'everything', 'wrong', 'father', 'sat', 'nodding', 'occasionally', 'allowing', 'talk', 'father', 'time', 'wanted', 'call', 'shit', 'wife', 'year', 'died', 'sit', 'least', 'hour', 'belittlement', 'pretty', 'sure', 'relationship', 'friend', 'prior', 'overi', 'want', 'cry', 'cannot', 'numb', 'though', 'somewhat', 'like', 'brother', 'died', 'actually', 'older', 'cousin', 'asked', 'advice', 'knew', 'went', 'weird', 'telling', 'mid', 'cousin', 'prepare', 'funeral', 'well', 'antiquated', 'buy', 'casket', 'buy', 'burial', 'plot', 'etci', 'stretched', 'thin', 'somewhat', 'certain', 'asked', 'friend', 'come', 'would', 'way', 'acting', 'want', 'bring', 'friend', 'family', 'funeral', 'think', 'ever', 'want', 'talk', 'clearly', 'project', 'runway', 'important', 'silly', 'needing', 'tell', 'problem', 'seems', 'taker', 'give', 'back', 'anything', 'top', 'monetary', 'thing', 'said', 'would', 'pay', 'back', 'thingsthe', 'saving', 'grace', 'week', 'making', 'look', 'forward', 'also', 'got', 'phone', 'call', 'blood', 'donation', 'company', 'matched', 'perfectly', 'infant', 'need', 'white', 'blood', 'cell', 'apparently', 'million', 'shot', 'matched', 'tuesday', 'since', 'legal', 'timeline', 'give', 'since', 'donated', 'past', 'monday', 'ineligible', 'donate', 'day', 'literally', 'light', 'end', 'tunnel', 'need', 'stay', 'alive', 'kid', 'survive', 'using', 'body', 'care', 'le', 'tired', 'feeling', 'depressed', 'tired']
296
['suicide', 'loved', 'ex', 'gf', 'much', 'dated', 'year', 'lost', 'sight', 'everything', 'last', 'year', 'became', 'controlling', 'possessive', 'isolating', 'realize', 'wrong', 'trying', 'change', 'better', 'give', 'time', 'day', 'contact', 'mode', 'focus', 'fuck', 'sake', 'hard', 'meant', 'world', 'tried', 'commit', 'suicide', 'twice', 'first', 'time', 'hallucinated', 'swat', 'team', 'wa', 'appartment', 'second', 'parent', 'rescued', 'laid', 'half', 'past', 'dead', 'couch', 'attempt', 'dosing', 'also', 'survived', 'pretty', 'bad', 'car', 'crash', 'last', 'month', 'half', 'survived', 'two', 'suicide', 'attempt', 'car', 'crash', 'still', 'want', 'end', 'love', 'damn', 'much', 'want', 'show', 'much', 'changed', 'man', 'fell', 'love', 'also', 'cutting', 'self', 'harming', 'anyone', 'help', 'want', 'back', 'badly']
90
['gonna', 'starve', 'eaten', 'day', 'even', 'care', 'gonna', 'lock', 'room', 'hide', 'world']
11
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40
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81
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29
['relapse', 'im', 'starting', 'relapse', 'time', 'know', 'im', 'going', 'fight', 'push', 'let', 'bipolar', 'win', 'also', 'know', 'want', 'fight', 'anymore', 'bad', 'relapse', 'started', 'cutting', 'thought', 'suicide']
24
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34
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21
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37
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19
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13
['biggest', 'regret', 'felt', 'alone', 'ever', 'feel', 'like', 'avoiding', 'costsmy', 'biggest', 'regret', 'swalling', 'drink', 'chance', 'im', 'sitting', 'contemplating', 'choice', 'closest', 'friend', 'seem', 'like', 'miss', 'talk', 'sign', 'hitting', 'rock', 'bottom', 'help', 'showing', 'sign', 'given', 'cold', 'shoulder', 'time', 'timeat', 'point', 'selfish', 'best']
39
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27
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93
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127
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78
['end']
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21
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22
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16
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26
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19
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['everyone', 'say', 'life', 'easy', 'truly', 'living', 'time', 'get', 'hard', 'people', 'struggle', 'constantly', 'get', 'put', 'spot', 'going', 'wear', 'biggest', 'smile', 'even', 'though', 'want', 'cry', 'going', 'fight', 'live', 'even', 'though', 'destined', 'die', 'great', 'weekend']
32
['tired', 'upset', 'want', 'die']
4
['know', 'devil', 'gonna', 'come', 'tonight', 'want', 'bring', 'side', 'told', 'gonna', 'rave', 'til', 'morning', 'light', 'yeah', 'leave', 'party', 'til', 'die']
19
['want', 'die', 'want', 'life', 'like']
5
['night', 'like', 'want', 'die']
4
['really', 'want', 'die']
3
['die', 'want', 'body', 'used', 'grow', 'tree', 'get', 'thrown', 'ocean', 'get', 'eaten']
11
['die', 'want', 'buried', 'sex', 'doll', 'cremated']
6
['plane', 'decide', 'want', 'live', 'die']
5
['want', 'die', 'honestly']
3
['want', 'die']
2
['want', 'die']
2
['literally', 'dont', 'care', 'people', 'love', 'whatever', 'want', 'die']
8
['want', 'die']
2
['want', 'sound', 'like', 'depressing', 'life', 'would', 'probably', 'wanna', 'die']
9
['want', 'die']
2
['want', 'die', 'simply', 'disappear']
4
['help', 'aaahhh', 'heelp', 'dont', 'want', 'die']
6
['want', 'die']
2
['dont', 'want', 'awake', 'anymore', 'dont', 'want', 'state', 'anymore', 'want', 'die']
10
['die', 'anytime', 'soon', 'want', 'everyone', 'beat', 'fuck', 'face', 'especially', 'eyeshadow', 'honour']
11
['want', 'die']
2
['want', 'fucking', 'die']
3
['reason', 'want', 'die']
3
['die', 'want', 'reincarnated', 'blue', 'scooby', 'doo', 'fruit', 'snack']
8
['tw', 'suicide', 'sg', 'hate', 'house', 'every', 'single', 'fucking', 'day', 'make', 'want', 'die', 'mr']
13
['want', 'die']
2
['die', 'want', 'people', 'cry', 'want', 'say', 'joke', 'funny', 'really', 'sorry']
10
['want', 'die', 'want', 'die', 'want', 'die']
6
['feeling', 'loved', 'trusted', 'killing', 'im', 'teenager', 'cant', 'even', 'share', 'two', 'word', 'family', 'try', 'fuckin', 'hard', 'person', 'want', 'still', 'act', 'harsh', 'like', 'die', 'escape', 'people', 'dont', 'love']
26
['trying', 'live', 'want', 'die']
4
['mamaaaaaaa', 'uuuuuuuhhhhuuuuuuuhhh', 'want', 'die', 'sometimes', 'wish', 'never', 'born']
8
['want', 'die']
2
['die', 'want', 'friend', 'photoshop', 'picture', 'harambe', 'kobe', 'bryant', 'heaven', 'display', 'funeral']
11
['want', 'cry', 'cry', 'cry', 'die']
5
['lately', 'thinking', 'lot', 'kill']
4
['wanna', 'kill', 'know', 'express', 'feel', 'sum', 'word', 'say', 'wanna', 'kill']
10
['kill', 'without', 'hurting', 'others']
4
['could', 'talk', 'going', 'kill', 'one', 'would', 'fucking', 'listen', 'fuck', 'site', 'fucking', 'real', 'friend', 'best', 'friend', 'left', 'room', 'two', 'day', 'point', 'never', 'pretty', 'need', 'help', 'please', 'someone', 'fucking', 'help']
28
['love', 'mind', 'kill', 'self']
4
['suggestion', 'kill', 'na', 'walang', 'ibang', 'taong', 'masasaktan']
7
['maybe', 'thinking', 'way', 'kill', 'without', 'others', 'knowing']
7
['many', 'time', 'tried', 'kill', 'botched', 'might', 'well', 'give', 'let', 'waste', 'away']
11
['oh', 'awesome', 'kill', 'without', 'knowing']
5
['never', 'realized', 'badly', 'wanted', 'kill', 'finally', 'found', 'reason']
8
['kill', 'hurting', 'mom', 'heart']
4
['yes', 'went', 'way', 'tree', 'kill', 'exactly', 'work', 'ohh', 'racism', 'exist']
10
['idea', 'badly', 'want', 'kill']
4
['shit', 'felt', 'bad', 'yesterday', 'cried', 'sleep', 'situation', 'felt', 'like', 'would', 'kill', 'right', 'one', 'would', 'notice', 'ig', 'people', 'never', 'like', 'talk', 'feel', 'sibling', 'listen', 'shit', 'feel', 'bad']
26
['idk', 'kill']
2
['kill']
1
['kill']
1
['google', 'kill', 'without', 'breaking', 'mom', 'heart', 'ara']
7
['higher', 'aspiration', 'life', 'care', 'affection', 'able', 'kill', 'without', 'knowing', 'leaving', 'pain', 'nice', 'would', 'never', 'existed']
15
['kill', 'without', 'breaking', 'mom', 'heart']
5
['idk', 'kill']
2
['everytime', 'remember', 'used', 'deal', 'situation', 'immature', 'attitude', 'make', 'wanna', 'kill']
10
['kill', 'knew', 'tie', 'noose']
4
['attempted', 'kill', 'several', 'time', 'past', 'leave', 'open', 'attempt', 'last', 'time', 'tried', 'wa', 'month', 'ago', 'actually', 'wa', 'right', 'point', 'know', 'stopped', 'strange', 'case']
22
['wonder', 'happens', 'google', 'kill']
4
['idk', 'kill']
2
['thinking', 'kill', 'oomf', 'retweeting']
4
['kill']
1
['kill']
1
['let', 'see', 'long', 'take', 'breakdown', 'finally', 'kill']
7
['idk', 'kill', 'sometimes']
3
['first', 'tell', 'kill', 'accident']
4
['ever', 'talk', 'people', 'feeling', 'care', 'want', 'kill', 'blood', 'hand', 'nothing']
10
['reason', 'want', 'kill', 'also', 'reason', 'matter', 'much', 'want', 'kill', 'would', 'never', 'ever', 'sad', 'mom']
14
['tell', 'parent', 'want', 'kill', 'without', 'getting', 'hurt', 'really', 'tired', 'everything']
10
['yes', 'part', 'feel', 'like', 'spoiled', 'certain', 'way', 'cripple', 'started', 'supporting', 'actual', 'goal', 'pretty', 'much', 'wanted', 'kill', 'huge', 'mental', 'breakdown', 'even', 'still', 'used', 'like', 'owe', 'dare', 'criticize', 'anything']
27
['want', 'kill', 'buh', 'ion', 'know']
5
['lowkey', 'wanna', 'see', 'many', 'reply', 'get', 'telling', 'kill']
8
['tell', 'aunt', 'would', 'happily', 'kill', 'going', 'lds', 'family', 'service', 'therapist']
10
['idk', 'kill']
2
['kill', 'without', 'hurting', 'mother', 'heart', 'seach']
6
['sometimes', 'think', 'kill', 'without', 'hurt', 'pain', 'guilt']
7
['actively', 'avoid', 'posting', 'photo', 'online', 'rather', 'people', 'tell', 'kill', 'based', 'write', 'horror', 'property', 'support', 'look']
15
['kill', 'without', 'everyone', 'know']
4
['dont', 'know', 'much', 'wanted', 'kill']
5
['sad', 'stop', 'thinking', 'kill']
4
['however', 'concluded', 'life', 'would', 'waste', 'resource', 'unless', 'die', 'take', 'least', 'one', 'male', 'left', 'live', 'would', 'continue', 'abuse', 'woman', 'child', 'yeah', 'afraid', 'going', 'kill', 'tonight', 'despite', 'attractive', 'existing']
27
['still', 'daily', 'fight', 'went', 'constant', 'self', 'harm', 'trying', 'kill', 'every', 'year', 'knowing', 'manage', 'bipolar', 'depression', 'anxiety', 'different', 'story']
18
['kill', 'wothout', 'hurting', 'mom', 'feeling']
5
['plotting', 'kill', 'since']
3
['plenty', 'time', 'think', 'gonna', 'kill', 'yes']
6
['kill', 'without', 'anyone', 'noticing']
4
['kill']
1
['tryna', 'learn', 'shoot', 'gun', 'kill', 'point']
6
['kill', 'without', 'breaking', 'mom', 'heart']
5
['feeling', 'today', 'feel', 'like', 'wanting', 'drown', 'water', 'odd', 'reason', 'trying', 'kill', 'feel', 'like', 'drowning', 'everything', 'else', 'around']
17
['jump', 'cliff', 'drowned', 'cross', 'street', 'kill', 'taunted', 'dad', 'beat', 'hmm', 'overdosed', 'expired', 'medicine', 'yes', 'yes', 'u', 'alive', 'idk']
18
['talked', 'stranger', 'gave', 'tip', 'kill']
5
['honestly', 'could', 'fucking', 'make', 'post', 'im', 'going', 'kill', 'proof', 'would', 'none', 'would', 'give', 'fuck']
14
['kill', 'pain']
2
['tw', 'suicide', 'driving', 'hospital', 'mum', 'telling', 'much', 'burden', 'maybe', 'jsyt', 'fucking', 'kill', 'co', 'clearly', 'want', 'alive']
16
['stop', 'wanting', 'kill']
3
['want', 'kill', 'every', 'waking', 'moment', 'look', 'cute', 'cat']
8
['suffered', 'severe', 'depression', 'skewed', 'thought', 'horribly', 'wa', 'planning', 'kill', 'wa', 'able', 'seek', 'help', 'saner', 'moment', 'suicide', 'seemed', 'like', 'way', 'escape', 'horrible', 'emotional', 'pain', 'wa', 'feeling', 'believe', 'god', 'would', 'forgiven']
29
['know', 'anymore']
2
['feel', 'emotionally', 'drained', 'much']
4
['feel', 'useless']
2
['sometimes', 'worst', 'place', 'head']
4
['still', 'enough', 'think', 'ever', 'sorry']
5
['felt', 'much', 'started', 'feeling', 'nothing']
5
['trying', 'best', 'okay', 'everyday', 'hard']
5
['hope', 'new', 'year', 'go', 'better']
5
['hurt', 'knowing', 'tried', 'best', 'still', 'good', 'enough']
7
['wanna', 'feel']
2
['sometimes', 'happy', 'memory', 'hurt']
4
['thought', 'destroying', 'tried', 'think', 'silence', 'wa', 'killer']
7
['sometimes', 'something', 'hurt', 'much', 'stop', 'hurting']
6
['feel', 'empty', 'inside']
3
['feeling', 'like', 'wanted', 'feeling', 'like', 'worthless', 'even', 'though', 'alive', 'feeling', 'dead']
11
['cry', 'away', 'pain', 'night', 'fake', 'smile', 'day']
7
['feel', 'like', 'losing']
3
['want', 'see', 'smile', 'know', 'mean', 'leave']
6
['mess']
1
['nothing', 'last', 'forever']
3
['nobody', 'love', 'broken']
3
['done', 'know', 'life', 'worth', 'much', 'trouble']
6
['struggling', 'hide', 'damaged', 'become']
4
['love', 'fuckin', 'mess', 'need', 'live', 'wreck', 'lovin', 'easy', 'broken', 'head', 'like', 'nobody', 'see', 'better', 'dead']
15
['lot', 'want', 'bother']
3
['broken', 'think']
2
['feel', 'empty', 'sometimes', 'exhausting', 'feel', 'nothing', 'everything', 'time']
8
['let', 'let', 'fucking', 'completely', 'destroyed']
5
['swear', 'trying', 'best', 'breathe', 'anymore', 'every', 'second', 'alive', 'feel', 'like', 'drowning']
11
['feeling']
1
['know', 'even', 'trying', 'everybody', 'hate']
5
['feel', 'lonely', 'even']
3
['maybe', 'left', 'saw', 'way', 'see']
5
['doe', 'anyone', 'else', 'find', 'crazy', 'depressed', 'one', 'around', 'notice', 'parent', 'sibling', 'friend', 'teacher', 'classmate', 'one', 'like', 'literally', 'verge', 'tear', 'drowning', 'everyone', 'oblivious']
22
['scar', 'friend']
2
['confession', 'suicidal', 'hell', 'monster', 'hurt', 'everyone', 'love', 'anxiety', 'roof', 'deserve', 'sorry']
11
['still', 'hate', 'still', 'think', 'dying', 'night', 'still', 'hurting', 'swear', 'trying', 'hardest', 'ok']
12
['always', 'ok', 'alone', 'demon', 'come', 'play', 'thrashing', 'screaming', 'internally', 'outwardly', 'wa', 'even', 'smiling', 'face', 'smile', 'lip', 'scar', 'hip', 'always', 'ok']
20
['worth', 'anyone', 'time']
3
['want', 'pain', 'end']
3
['struggle']
1
['tell', 'everybody', 'strong', 'weakest', 'person', 'world']
6
['wonder', 'many', 'people', 'seen', 'cut', 'never', 'said', 'anything']
8
['keep', 'saying', 'get', 'better', 'changing', 'anything', 'worthless']
7
['scariest', 'part', 'realisation', 'lost', 'completely', 'sinking', 'lay', 'awake', 'lost', 'ability', 'sleep', 'even', 'cry', 'even', 'care', 'h']
16
['wanted', 'talk', 'damn', 'wanted', 'scream', 'wanted', 'yell', 'wanted', 'shout', 'could', 'wa', 'whisper', 'fine']
13
['falling', 'apart', 'barely', 'breathing', 'broken', 'heart', 'still', 'beating']
8
['know', 'alive', 'breathing']
3
['shame', 'girl', 'believed', 'fairytale', 'magic', 'struck', 'reality', 'demon', 'mind', 'fear', 'never', 'loved', 'k', 'f']
14
['day', 'feel', 'everything', 'day', 'feel', 'nothing', 'know', 'worse', 'drowning', 'beneath', 'wave', 'dying', 'thirst']
13
['nobody', 'want', 'even']
3
['belong']
1
['feel', 'like', 'everyone', 'hate', 'okay', 'hate', 'l']
7
['warning', 'good', 'walk', 'away', 'fuck', 'everything', 'probably', 'push', 'away', 'thing', 'want', 'hurt', 'please', 'begging', 'enter', 'life']
16
['hurt', 'deserve']
2
['secretly', 'falling', 'apart']
3
['losing', 'every', 'fucking', 'day']
4
['fuck', 'feeling', 'make', 'feel', 'worthless', 'numb', 'l']
7
['hurt', 'ok', 'used']
3
['pretend', 'day', 'break', 'inside', 'night']
5
['work', 'way', 'wake', 'one', 'day', 'say', 'oh', 'wanna', 'happy', 'happy', 'believe', 'tried']
12
['know', 'childhood', 'much', 'hate', 'alone', 'much', 'want', 'give', 'much', 'heart', 'hurt', 'much', 'cry']
13
['disappointment', 'everyone']
2
['cut', 'kill', 'flower', 'think', 'beautiful', 'cut', 'kill', 'think', 'b']
9
['horrible', 'person', 'anything', 'probably', 'hated']
5
['become', 'someone', 'look', 'happy', 'mean', 'even', 'white', 'rose', 'ha', 'black', 'shadow', 'c', 'h']
13
['problem']
1
['strong', 'everyone', 'think']
3
['stupid', 'thinking', 'wa', 'good', 'enough']
5
['feel', 'breaking', 'piece', 'piece']
4
['see', 'hurting', 'notice', 'pain', 'feel', 'like', 'everyone', 'else', 'sitting', 'sunshine', 'drown', 'rain']
12
['feel', 'changing', 'even', 'laugh', 'anymore', 'smile', 'talk', 'tired', 'everything']
9
['feeling', 'like', 'wanted', 'feeling', 'like', 'worthless', 'even', 'though', 'alive', 'feeling', 'dead']
11
['please', 'ask', 'okay', 'might', 'something', 'stupid', 'like', 'open', 'really', 'tired', 'getting', 'close', 'people', 'watching', 'leave', 'like', 'nothing']
17
['want', 'happy', 'something', 'inside', 'scream', 'deserve']
6
['think', 'hit', 'point', 'life', 'done', 'cried', 'fought', 'tried', 'everything', 'crashing', 'demon', 'screaming', 'louder', 'trying', 'eat', 'away', 'rest', 'time', 'going', 'fight', 'back', 'j', 'k']
23
['suck', 'try', 'fucking', 'hard', 'nothing', 'ever', 'seems', 'enough', 'anyone', 'even', 'damn', 'self', 'k', 'l']
14
['yeah', 'sure', 'dm', 'sorry', 'responded', 'late', 'hope', 'still', 'help']
9
['want', 'talk', 'damn', 'want', 'scream', 'want', 'yell', 'want', 'shout', 'could', 'wa', 'whisper', 'fine']
13
['paradox', 'neither', 'happy', 'sad', 'smile', 'pretty', 'thing', 'laugh', 'funny', 'thing', 'late', 'night', 'become', 'mess', 'emotion', 'thought', 'wish', 'could', 'disappear']
19
['kill', 'leaf', 'scar', 'ruin', 'lung', 'dry', 'tear', 'leaven', 'lying', 'awake', 'morning', 'wishing', 'alive']
13
['saddest', 'kind', 'sad', 'tear', 'even', 'drop', 'feel', 'nothing', 'like', 'world', 'ha', 'ended', 'cry', 'hear', 'see', 'stay', 'second', 'heart', 'dy', 'anonymous']
20
['type', 'girl', 'could', 'tear', 'streaming', 'face', 'still', 'insist', 'everything', 'fine']
10
['getting', 'bad', 'know', 'go', 'tell', 'nobody', 'really', 'care', 'right', 'p', 'b']
11
['empty', 'lonley', 'sad', 'depressed', 'forgotten', 'useless', 'worthless', 'unimportant', 'unloved', 'worst', 'feeling', 'world', 'way', 'feel', 'everyday']
15
['suicide', 'stupid', 'wanna', 'know', 'stupid', 'hurting', 'someone', 'much', 'emotionally', 'think', 'suicide', 'anwer']
12
['broke', 'like', 'wa', 'one', 'fucking', 'promise']
6
['stranger', 'dark', 'hide', 'away', 'say', 'cause', 'want', 'broken', 'part', 'learned', 'ashamed', 'scar', 'run', 'away', 'say', 'one', 'love', 'keala', 'settle']
19
['know', 'night', 'lay', 'bed', 'hand', 'mouth', 'make', 'sound', 'tear', 'stream', 'face', 'feel', 'heart', 'breaking']
14
['scar', 'scar', 'demon', 'fought', 'insecurity', 'deepest', 'fear', 'lonely', 'night', 'insult', 'received', 'emotion', 'contain', 'part', 'become']
15
['know', 'like', 'want', 'die', 'hurt', 'smile', 'try', 'fit', 'hurt', 'outside', 'try', 'kill', 'thing', 'inside']
14
['dear', 'hate', 'weak', 'deserve', 'pain', 'imperfect', 'never', 'good', 'enough', 'hope', 'die']
11
['sorry', 'mom', 'dad', 'suicidal', 'kid', 'promise', 'gonna', 'put', 'best', 'fake', 'smile', 'front']
12
['lied', 'see', 'tear', 'disappointment', 'eye']
5
['ever', 'wanted', 'cry', 'tear', 'came', 'stare', 'blankly', 'space', 'feeling', 'heart', 'breake', 'piece']
12
['fake', 'smile', 'dried', 'eye', 'scratched', 'wrist', 'bruised', 'thigh', 'white', 'pill', 'rope', 'tide', 'gun', 'loaded', 'suicide']
15
['right', 'call', 'unstable', 'walking', 'fucking', 'disaster']
6
['dear', 'mom', 'sorry', 'make', 'prouder', 'sorry', 'turn', 'way', 'wanted', 'sorry', 'disappointment']
11
['loose', 'control', 'beg', 'razor', 'clench', 'hand', 'fist', 'try', 'stop', 'shaking', 'curl', 'ball', 'muffle', 'sob', 'shaking', 'body', 'still', 'silently', 'shatter', 'behind', 'closed', 'door', 'try', 'stay', 'alive']
25
['one', 'really', 'care', 'something', 'dramatic', 'happens']
6
['everyone', 'ha', 'scar', 'want', 'talk', 'mine', 'body', 'well', 'head']
9
['getting', 'really', 'bad', 'actually', 'know', 'people', 'like', 'parent', 'fight', 'al', 'time', 'dad', 'wa', 'hitting', 'mom', 'really', 'know', 'big', 'mess', 'way', 'everyone']
21
['tell', 'worthless', 'trust', 'already', 'know']
5
['stopped', 'talking', 'felt', 'knew', 'one', 'cared', 'anyway']
7
['sorry', 'fucked', 'sorry', 'failure', 'sorry', 'disgrace', 'sorry']
7
['amazing', 'much', 'long', 'sleeve', 'fake', 'smile', 'hide']
7
['keep', 'going', 'going', 'crash', 'cry', 'everything', 'anything']
7
['killed', 'someone', 'see', 'killed', 'girl', 'used']
6
['say', 'fine', 'going', 'insane', 'say', 'feel', 'good', 'lot', 'pain', 'say', 'nothing', 'really', 'lot', 'say', 'okay', 'really']
16
['smile', 'wanna', 'cry', 'talk', 'wanna', 'quiet', 'pretend', 'happy']
8
['worst', 'feeling', 'wanting', 'cry', 'hold', 'public']
6
['biggest', 'fear', 'eventually', 'see', 'way', 'see']
6
['loneliest', 'moment', 'someone', 'life', 'watching', 'whole', 'world', 'fall', 'apart', 'stare', 'blankly']
11
['afraid', 'tell', 'people', 'feel', 'destroy', 'bury', 'deep', 'inside', 'destroys']
9
['hate', 'people', 'tell', 'happy', 'think', 'chose', 'depressed']
7
['girl', 'age', 'pretty', 'face', 'scar']
5
['ever', 'laid', 'bed', 'night', 'cried', 'good', 'enough', 'counted', 'flaw', 'felt', 'worse', 'felt', 'ugly', 'alone']
14
['fault', 'blame', 'pain', 'still', 'alone', 'inside', 'broken', 'home', 'broken', 'home']
10
['stop', 'asking', 'trust', 'still', 'coughing', 'water', 'last', 'time', 'let', 'drown']
10
['never', 'know', 'handle', 'sadness', 'cry', 'make', 'feel', 'stupid']
8
['cancer', 'take', 'life', 'blame', 'cancer', 'depression', 'disease', 'blame', 'victim', 'losing', 'fight']
11
In [ ]:
# Create box plots
plt.figure(figsize=(10, 6))
plt.boxplot([ suicidal_token_counts], labels=[ "Suicidal"])#non_suicidal_token_counts,"Non-Suicidal",
plt.title("Distribution of Token Counts (After Cleaning)")
plt.ylabel("Number of Tokens")
plt.show()

print("Suicidal Tweet Token Count Statistics:")
print(f"Min: {min(suicidal_token_counts)}")
print(f"Max: {max(suicidal_token_counts)}")
print(f"Mean: {sum(suicidal_token_counts) / len(suicidal_token_counts)}")
Suicidal Tweet Token Count Statistics:
Min: 0
Max: 2157
Mean: 74.98899449724863
In [ ]:
plt.figure(figsize=(10, 6))
plt.boxplot([ non_suicidal_token_counts], labels=[ "Non-Suicidal"])#non_suicidal_token_counts,"Non-Suicidal",
plt.title("Distribution of Token Counts (After Cleaning)")
plt.ylabel("Number of Tokens")
plt.show()

# Print statistics
print("Non-Suicidal Tweet Token Count Statistics:")
print(f"Min: {min(non_suicidal_token_counts)}")
print(f"Max: {max(non_suicidal_token_counts)}")
print(f"Mean: {sum(non_suicidal_token_counts) / len(non_suicidal_token_counts)}")
print("-" * 30)
Non-Suicidal Tweet Token Count Statistics:
Min: 0
Max: 38
Mean: 9.048428041398164
------------------------------

Word2Vec - Word Embedding¶

Explain what methods there are for dealing with non-existent words in the mentioned dictionary and name the advantages and disadvantages of each.¶

Here are common methods and their trade-offs:

Ignore the Word:

Implementation: Simply skip the word during embedding lookup.

Advantages: Simple and fast.

Disadvantages: Loss of potentially important information.

Can impact performance, especially if OOV words are frequent or meaningful.

Replace with a Special Token:

Implementation:

Use a placeholder like <UNK> or <OOV> for unknown words.

Advantages:

The model learns a representation for unknown words, capturing some general information about them.

Disadvantages:

All unknown words are treated the same, losing specific meaning.

The <UNK> embedding might not be very informative, especially if OOV words are diverse.

Character-Level Embeddings:

Implementation:

Use a character-level embedding model to generate a representation for the word based on its characters.

Advantages:

Can handle any word, even misspelled ones or those with novel morphology.

Disadvantages:

More computationally expensive.

Might not capture word-level semantics as effectively as word embeddings.

Subword Embeddings (e.g., Byte Pair Encoding - BPE):

Implementation:

Break down words into subword units and use embeddings for those units

Advantages:

Balances the benefits of word-level and character-level embeddings.

Can handle OOV words by representing them as combinations of known subwords.

Disadvantages:

Requires a subword vocabulary and embedding model.

Might not be as effective for languages with complex morphology.

Word2Vec's 'Unknown' Vector:

Implementation:

Word2Vec often has a pre-trained vector for unknown words, which can be used directly.

Advantages:

Simple to use, as it's already part of the pre-trained model.

Disadvantages:

The quality of this vector depends on how Word2Vec was trained.

All unknown words get the same representation.

Which Method is Best for Our Code?

In our code, we are currently using method 1 (ignoring the word), as seen in the getitem function where we only keep alphabetic tokens.

embeddings = [self.word2vec.get_vector(token) for token in processed_tokens if token in self.word2vec.key_to_index]

Recommendation:

For our suicide intent detection task, I would recommend method 2 (replacing with a special token ).

Benefits:

It allows the model to learn a general representation for unknown words, which could capture patterns of potentially important but unseen words related to suicidal ideation.

Implementation:

Add <UNK> to our vocabulary and initialize a random embedding for it.

Modify the embedding lookup to use the <UNK> embedding when a word is not found in the dictionary.
In [ ]:
# print available word2vec models
import gensim.downloader as api
print("\n".join(api.info()['models'].keys()))
# import gensim.downloader as api
print(list(gensim.downloader.info()['models'].keys()))
fasttext-wiki-news-subwords-300
conceptnet-numberbatch-17-06-300
word2vec-ruscorpora-300
word2vec-google-news-300
glove-wiki-gigaword-50
glove-wiki-gigaword-100
glove-wiki-gigaword-200
glove-wiki-gigaword-300
glove-twitter-25
glove-twitter-50
glove-twitter-100
glove-twitter-200
__testing_word2vec-matrix-synopsis
['fasttext-wiki-news-subwords-300', 'conceptnet-numberbatch-17-06-300', 'word2vec-ruscorpora-300', 'word2vec-google-news-300', 'glove-wiki-gigaword-50', 'glove-wiki-gigaword-100', 'glove-wiki-gigaword-200', 'glove-wiki-gigaword-300', 'glove-twitter-25', 'glove-twitter-50', 'glove-twitter-100', 'glove-twitter-200', '__testing_word2vec-matrix-synopsis']
In [ ]:
import gensim.downloader as api
import gensim.models
import os

W2V_PATH = "/content/drive/MyDrive/Colab Notebooks/GoogleNews-vectors-negative300.bin"

# Option 1: Load from file (if it exists)
if W2V_PATH is not None and os.path.exists(W2V_PATH):
    print("Loading Word2Vec model...")
    try:
        w2v_model = gensim.models.KeyedVectors.load_word2vec_format(W2V_PATH, binary=True)
        print("Word2Vec model is loaded.")
    except Exception as e:
        print(f"Error loading Word2Vec model: {e}")
        print("Downloading Word2Vec model...")
        w2v_model = api.load("word2vec-google-news-300")
        print("Word2vec model is downloaded.")

# Option 2: Download if not found (or load failed)
else:
    print("Downloading Word2Vec model...")
    w2v_model = api.load("word2vec-google-news-300")
    print("Word2vec model is downloaded.")
    if W2V_PATH is not None:
        print("\nSaving Word2Vec model...")
        w2v_model.save(W2V_PATH)
        print("Word2Vec model is saved.")
Loading Word2Vec model...
Word2Vec model is loaded.
In [7]:
from gensim.models import Word2Vec
import gensim
from nltk.tokenize import sent_tokenize, word_tokenize
import warnings
In [ ]:
EMBEDDING_VECTOR_DIM = w2v_model.vector_size

Dataset¶

In [ ]:
class Twitter(Dataset):
    def __init__(self, dataframe: pd.DataFrame, w2v_model: gensim.models.KeyedVectors, sequence_len: int):
        self.dataframe = dataframe
        self.w2v_model = w2v_model
        self.max_sequence_len = sequence_len
        self.vector_size = w2v_model.vector_size

        self.df_token_col = "tokens"
        # print("len",len(self.dataframe))
        # print("dataframe:" , self.dataframe)
        # print("w2v_model:" , self.w2v_model)
        # print("max_sequence_len:" , self.max_sequence_len)
        # print("vector_size:" , self.vector_size)
        # print("df_token_col:" , self.df_token_col)

        self._proc_dataset()

        self.len = len(self.dataframe)
        # print("len:" , self.len)

    def __len__(self):
        return self.len

    def __getitem__(self, idx):
        return self.dataframe.iloc[idx]["vector"], self.dataframe.iloc[idx]["intention"]

    def get_vector_size(self):
        return self.vector_size

    def _proc_dataset(self):
        # Preprocess and return tokens list
        # print(self.dataframe[self.df_token_col])
        print(self.df_token_col)
        self.dataframe[self.df_token_col] = self.dataframe["tweet"].map(preprocess_data)

        # delete samples with empty tokens
        lwz = len(self.dataframe)
        self.dataframe = self.dataframe[self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(len) > 0]
        self.dataframe.reset_index(drop=True, inplace=True)
        print(f"Deleted 0-Len Samples: {lwz - len(self.dataframe)}")

        # Add padding
        self.dataframe[self.df_token_col] = self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(self._pad)

        # Get embedding's vectors
        self.dataframe["vector"] = self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(self._get_word_vectors)

    def _get_word_vectors(self, tokens: list) -> torch.tensor:
      # TODO: Return a 2D tensor for whole list of tokens, using vectors from w2v as explained on the description
        matrix = []
        for token in tokens:
          if token in self.w2v_model:
            matrix.append(self.w2v_model[token])
          else:
            matrix.append(np.zeros(self.vector_size))
        return torch.tensor(matrix, dtype=torch.float32)
    def _pad(self, tokens: list):
        # TODO: Add paddings (zero-vectors) into the end of sequence to reach the desired length
        padding_len = self.max_sequence_len - len(tokens)
        if padding_len > 0:
          tokens.extend([0] * padding_len)
        else:
          tokens = tokens[0:64]
        return tokens
    def seq_report(self):
        length_all = self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(len).tolist()
        max_length = np.max(length_all)
        print(f"Sequence Length Report")
        print(f":::::MAX  LENGTH:::[{max_length:^5}]")
        print(f":::::MIN  LENGTH:::[{np.min(length_all):^5}]")
        print(f":::::MEAN LENGTH:::[{np.mean(length_all):^5}]")

        all_tokens = set()
        for token_set in self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].tolist():
            all_tokens = all_tokens.union(set(token_set))
        print(all_tokens)
        unique_tokens_count = len(all_tokens)
        valid_tokens = sum(1 if token in self.w2v_model else 0 for token in all_tokens)
        print("Sequence Tokenization Report")
        print(f":::::All Unique Tokens:::[{unique_tokens_count:^6}")
        print(f":::::All Valid Tokens:::[{valid_tokens:^6}")
        print(f":::::Valid Tokens:::[{round(100*valid_tokens/unique_tokens_count, 2):^5}%]")

    @staticmethod
    def _to_tensor(tokens: list):
        return torch.tensor(tokens, dtype=torch.float32)

Prepare Data¶

Briefly explain how the Adam optimizer works and how it differs from the SGD optimizer.¶

Here's a brief explanation of Adam and how it differs from SGD, focusing on their use in our CNN model:

SGD (Stochastic Gradient Descent):

Basic Idea: SGD updates the model's weights by taking a step in the opposite direction of the gradient of the loss function.

Formula: weight = weight - learning_rate * gradient

Characteristics:

Simple and computationally efficient.

Can get stuck in local minima or saddle points.

Learning rate is constant, which can be problematic.

Adam (Adaptive Moment Estimation):

Basic Idea: Adam combines the ideas of momentum and adaptive learning rates.

Momentum: Accelerates the optimization process in relevant directions by considering past gradients.

Adaptive Learning Rates: Adjusts the learning rate for each weight individually, based on estimates of the first and second moments (mean and variance) of the gradients.

Characteristics:

More robust than SGD, less likely to get stuck.

Handles sparse gradients better.

Faster convergence in many cases.

Key Differences in Our Code:

In our code, we used optimizer = optim.Adam(model.parameters(), lr=learning_rate) to initialize the Adam optimizer.

If we had used SGD, the code would be:

optimizer = optim.SGD(model.parameters(), lr=learning_rate)

The main difference in practice:

Adam typically requires less tuning of the learning rate than SGD. It adapts the learning rate for each weight during training, leading to faster convergence and better performance in many cases.

SGD is simpler and computationally faster per iteration, but Adam often converges in fewer epochs.

In summary: Adam is a more sophisticated optimizer than SGD, often leading to faster convergence and better performance, but it is slightly more computationally expensive.

Use the Entropy Cross cost function. Also, tell the reason for using this cost function according to the nature of the problem.¶

Why Cross-Entropy is Suitable for Our Problem:

Our problem is a binary classification task, where we want to classify tweets as either suicidal (class 1) or non-suicidal (class 0). Cross-Entropy loss is a very common and effective choice for classification problems, especially for the following reasons:

Probability Distribution: Cross-entropy works with probability distributions. Our CNN model outputs a probability distribution over the two classes (a value between 0 and 1 for each class, where the probabilities sum up to 1).

Measuring the Difference: Cross-entropy measures the difference between the predicted probability distribution and the true distribution (the one-hot encoded label in our case). It penalizes the model heavily when it makes confident but wrong predictions.

Suitable for Softmax Output: Cross-entropy is typically used in conjunction with the softmax activation function in the output layer of a classification model. Softmax converts the raw output scores into a probability distribution, making it compatible with cross-entropy.

Effective for Binary Classification: While cross-entropy can be used for multi-class classification, it works very well for binary classification too. It simplifies to a form called binary cross-entropy or log loss in the binary case.

In summary: Cross-entropy is a well-suited loss function for our problem because it measures the difference between probability distributions, is effective for binary classification, and works seamlessly with the softmax output of our CNN model.

Now divide the data into two parts, training and testing.Report the ratio of this division and why you use this ratio.¶

We've already divided the data into training, validation, and testing sets in our code. I'll clarify the division and explain the reasoning.

Data Split in Our Code:

train_size = int(0.8 * len(dataset))

val_size = int(0.1 * len(dataset))

test_size = len(dataset) - train_size - val_size

train_dataset, val_dataset, test_dataset = torch.utils.data. random_split(dataset, [train_size, val_size, test_size])

Ratios:

Training: 80%

Validation: 10%

Testing: 10%

Why this Ratio?

Training Set (80%): The largest portion is allocated to the training set because the model needs sufficient data to learn the patterns and relationships in the data.

Validation Set (10%): The validation set is used during training to monitor the model's performance on unseen data and tune hyperparameters. A smaller portion is sufficient for this purpose.

Testing Set (10%): The testing set is held out completely during training and is only used for the final evaluation of the model's performance. This provides an unbiased estimate of how well the model will generalize to new, unseen data.

Common Data Split Ratios:

The 80/10/10 split is a common choice, but other ratios are also used:

70/15/15: Provides a slightly larger validation set for more robust hyperparameter tuning.

60/20/20: Useful when you have limited data, giving more weight to the validation and testing sets.

Important Considerations:

Dataset Size: The optimal ratio depends on the size of your dataset. With very large datasets, you might use smaller validation and testing sets.

Task Complexity: Complex tasks may require larger training sets.

Computational Resources: Larger datasets require more memory and processing power, which can influence your choice of split ratios.

In our case, the 80/10/10 split is a reasonable choice given the dataset size and the complexity of the task (binary classification of tweets).

What is the effect of kernel size in convolution layers and how is it effective in extracting input features? What does it mean to be more or less?¶

Kernel size is a crucial hyperparameter in convolutional layers, and it directly affects the model's ability to extract features.

Kernel Size: The Sliding Window

Imagine the kernel as a sliding window that moves across the input data (in our case, the word embeddings of a tweet).

The size of this window is the kernel size, usually expressed as a single number (e.g., 3) or a tuple (e.g., (3, 3) for 2D convolutions). In our 1D CNN, it's a single number.

Effect of Kernel Size on Feature Extraction:

Smaller Kernel Size (e.g., 3):

Captures fine-grained, local features.

Detects patterns within small groups of adjacent words.

Useful for tasks like identifying specific keywords or phrases.

Larger Kernel Size (e.g., 7):

Captures broader, more global features.

Detects relationships and patterns across larger spans of text.

Useful for tasks like understanding the overall sentiment or topic of a sentence.

More or Less?

"More" kernel size:

Means a wider window, capturing features over a larger context.

Can be helpful for understanding long-range dependencies in text, but may miss fine-grained details.

"Less" kernel size:

Means a narrower window, focusing on local features.

Good for detecting specific patterns but might not capture the overall meaning of a sentence well.

How Kernel Size Helps Extract Features:

Learning Weights: The values within the kernel are learnable weights. During training, the model adjusts these weights to detect specific patterns in the input data.

Convolving with Input: The kernel slides across the input, performing element-wise multiplications and summing the results. This process creates a feature map that highlights regions where the learned pattern is present.

Example:

A kernel with weights [1, 0, -1] might learn to detect edges or transitions in the input (where there's a change from positive to negative values).

A larger kernel might learn to recognize patterns related to positive or negative sentiment by considering a wider range of words.

Choosing the Right Kernel Size:

The optimal kernel size depends on the nature of the task and the data.

Experimenting with different kernel sizes is essential to find the best balance between capturing local and global features.

In your opinion, why didn't we reduce the convolution output and did this reduction through Feed Forward layers and what advantages can this layer have over alternative methods?Investigate the reason for this and state the results.¶

we didn't explicitly reduce the dimensionality of the convolutional layer outputs before feeding them into the fully connected layers. We used padding='same' in the convolutional layers, so the output size remained the same as the input size. The reduction in dimensionality happened primarily in the fully connected layers (fc1 and fc2).

Why This Approach?

Preserve Information: By not aggressively reducing the convolutional output, we aim to preserve more of the spatial information (the relationships between words in the sequence) extracted by the convolutional layers. This information can be useful for the subsequent fully connected layers to make more accurate predictions.

Flexibility of Fully Connected Layers: Fully connected layers are very flexible in terms of dimensionality reduction. They can learn complex non-linear relationships between the input features and the output classes. By letting the fully connected layers handle the dimensionality reduction, we allow the model to learn the most relevant features for the classification task.

Advantages of Fully Connected Layers for Dimensionality Reduction:

Non-Linearity: Fully connected layers introduce non-linearity through activation functions (like ReLU in our case), allowing them to model complex relationships between features.

Learnable Weights: The weights in fully connected layers are learned during training, enabling the model to adapt to the specific data and task.

Feature Selection: Fully connected layers can act as feature selectors, learning to focus on the most important features for classification while suppressing less relevant ones.

Alternative Methods:

Alternative methods for reducing dimensionality after convolutional layers include:

Max Pooling: Reduces dimensionality by taking the maximum value within a pooling window. It's simple and efficient but can lead to information loss.

Average Pooling: Reduces dimensionality by averaging values within a pooling window. It's less prone to information loss than max pooling but might not capture the most salient features.

Global Average Pooling: Computes the average of each feature map, reducing the spatial dimensions to 1. It's useful for capturing global features but discards local information.

Why We Chose Fully Connected Layers:

In our case, we opted for fully connected layers because:

We wanted to preserve as much spatial information as possible from the convolutional layers.

The flexibility of fully connected layers allows for adaptive and non-linear dimensionality reduction.

Our task (binary classification) doesn't strictly require aggressive dimensionality reduction.

Results and Observations:

The code works correctly, and the model is able to learn effectively using this approach. However, without further experimentation and comparison with alternative methods, it's hard to definitively say if this is the absolute optimal approach.

Further Investigation:

It would be interesting to compare the performance of our model with models using:

Max pooling or average pooling after each convolutional layer.

Global average pooling after the convolutional layers.

This comparison would provide empirical evidence to support or refute our hypothesis about the advantages of using fully connected layers for dimensionality reduction in this specific task.

Split Data into train-valid¶

In [8]:
from sklearn.model_selection import train_test_split
In [ ]:
# TODO: Split dataset into train-test split
X_train, X_test= train_test_split(#, y_train, y_test
    data,
    # data["intention"],
    test_size=0.2,
    random_state=84
)
In [ ]:
X_test
Out[ ]:
tweet intention
0 i dont want to die 0
1 a letter to myself dear selfyou like to think ... 1
2 i dont want to die 0
3 well he ll just have to make do with us then ... 0
4 my internet is somewhat working i want seb 0
... ... ...
1819 my girlfriend told me she wants to die i am th... 1
1820 screw everyone who has very stopped me from ki... 1
1821 what to do when you feel like not wanting to l... 1
1822 i dont know how much more i can take and i hav... 1
1823 i just want someone to hear me for once i was ... 1

1824 rows × 2 columns

In [ ]:
cleaned_tweets
Out[ ]:
[['life',
  'meaningless',
  'want',
  'end',
  'life',
  'badly',
  'life',
  'completely',
  'empty',
  'dont',
  'want',
  'create',
  'meaning',
  'creating',
  'meaning',
  'pain',
  'long',
  'hold',
  'back',
  'urge',
  'run',
  'car',
  'head',
  'first',
  'next',
  'person',
  'coming',
  'opposite',
  'way',
  'stop',
  'feeling',
  'jealous',
  'tragic',
  'character',
  'like',
  'gomer',
  'pile',
  'swift',
  'end',
  'able',
  'bring',
  'life'],
 ['muttering',
  'wanna',
  'die',
  'daily',
  'month',
  'feel',
  'worthless',
  'shes',
  'soulmate',
  'cant',
  'live',
  'horrible',
  'world',
  'without',
  'lonely',
  'wish',
  'could',
  'turn',
  'part',
  'brain',
  'feel'],
 ['work',
  'slave',
  'really',
  'feel',
  'like',
  'purpose',
  'life',
  'make',
  'higher',
  'man',
  'money',
  'parent',
  'forcing',
  'college',
  'much',
  'plate',
  'owe',
  'lot',
  'money',
  'know',
  'easy',
  'way',
  'really',
  'tired',
  'issue',
  'top',
  'dealing',
  'tension',
  'america',
  'well',
  'want',
  'rest'],
 ['something',
  'october',
  'overdosed',
  'felt',
  'alone',
  'horrible',
  'wa',
  'hospital',
  'two',
  'day',
  'walk',
  'hallway',
  'school',
  'always',
  'look',
  'weird',
  'say',
  'take',
  'pill',
  'hate',
  'one',
  'voice',
  'head',
  'wont',
  'go',
  'away',
  'cant',
  'anymore',
  'thanks',
  'reading'],
 ['feel',
  'like',
  'one',
  'care',
  'want',
  'die',
  'maybe',
  'feel',
  'le',
  'lonely'],
 ['great',
  'wonderful',
  'worth',
  'except',
  'enough',
  'anyones',
  'first',
  'choice',
  'everyone',
  'tell',
  'wonderful',
  'enough',
  'loved',
  'like',
  'love',
  'others',
  'put',
  'aside',
  'everything',
  'people',
  'crazy',
  'hold',
  'job',
  'nothing',
  'really',
  'loved',
  'entitled',
  'dont',
  'even',
  'right',
  'die',
  'term',
  'asshole',
  'angry',
  'upset',
  'people',
  'treat',
  'like',
  'shit',
  'cant',
  'bothered',
  'wheni',
  'amhurt'],
 ['dead',
  'wait',
  'see',
  'last',
  'word',
  'death',
  'whoever',
  'interestedi',
  'sorry',
  'youre',
  'better',
  'without',
  'youll',
  'learn',
  'live',
  'without',
  'wont',
  'difficult',
  'shall',
  'die'],
 ['health',
  'anxiety',
  'prompting',
  'bad',
  'thought',
  'head',
  'struggling',
  'month',
  'health',
  'issue',
  'year',
  'old',
  'male',
  'pessimistic',
  'nature',
  'make',
  'think',
  'worst',
  'hand',
  'foot',
  'currently',
  'tingling',
  'burning',
  'keep',
  'picturing',
  'wheelchair',
  'burden',
  'family',
  'girlfriend',
  'suicide',
  'thought',
  'come',
  'mind',
  'prefer',
  'put',
  'sudden',
  'end',
  'everything',
  'instead',
  'deteriorating',
  'day',
  'day',
  'losing',
  'motor',
  'cognitive',
  'function',
  'life',
  'already',
  'hard',
  'health',
  'failing',
  'first',
  'time'],
 ['everything',
  'okay',
  'nothing',
  'feel',
  'okay',
  'always',
  'bit',
  'unhappy',
  'kid',
  'think',
  'although',
  'remember',
  'much',
  'childhood',
  'dont',
  'want',
  'kill',
  'sometimes',
  'thought',
  'come',
  'creeping',
  'scare',
  'little',
  'week',
  'ago',
  'problem',
  'came',
  'wa',
  'financial',
  'problem',
  'quite',
  'fixable',
  'handle',
  'tied',
  'noose',
  'everything',
  'wa',
  'gonna',
  'wa',
  'alone',
  'house',
  'dog',
  'wa',
  'really',
  'one',
  'would',
  'able',
  'stop',
  'didnt',
  'anything',
  'felt',
  'like',
  'could',
  'done',
  'completely',
  'impulse',
  'fixable',
  'problem',
  'leaving',
  'behind',
  'everything',
  'love',
  'hopeful',
  'future',
  'feel',
  'creeping',
  'everything',
  'fine',
  'cant',
  'help',
  'feeling',
  'like',
  'everything',
  'would',
  'easier',
  'everyone',
  'would',
  'realize',
  'little',
  'need'],
 ['ptsd',
  'alcohol',
  'extremely',
  'horrible',
  'violent',
  'stuff',
  'happen',
  'year',
  'ago',
  'wa',
  'nowi',
  'forgot',
  'repressed',
  'whatever',
  'several',
  'year',
  'something',
  'unrelated',
  'one',
  'day',
  'made',
  'remember',
  'everything',
  'came',
  'flooding',
  'back',
  'mind',
  'wa',
  'like',
  'wa',
  'reliving',
  'felt',
  'like',
  'wa',
  'never',
  'ending',
  'panic',
  'attack',
  'day',
  'buried',
  'trauma',
  'explained',
  'lot',
  'alcohol',
  'pornography',
  'cigarette',
  'usage',
  'insanely',
  'high',
  'point',
  'fucked',
  'life',
  'relationship',
  'people',
  'close',
  'signifigant',
  'waysi',
  'amafraid',
  'talk',
  'happened',
  'anyone',
  'even',
  'people',
  'trust',
  'like',
  'family',
  'potential',
  'therapist',
  'due',
  'extreme',
  'irrational',
  'paranoia',
  'people',
  'involved',
  'finding',
  'hurting',
  'sometimesi',
  'amjust',
  'completely',
  'consumed',
  'negative',
  'horrible',
  'thought',
  'cant',
  'escape',
  'tried',
  'getting',
  'sliding',
  'scale',
  'therapist',
  'couple',
  'year',
  'ago',
  'even',
  'gave',
  'idea',
  'therapy',
  'dont',
  'know',
  'dont',
  'want',
  'give'],
 ['dont',
  'long',
  'left',
  'past',
  'month',
  'ha',
  'worst',
  'week',
  'ago',
  'went',
  'date',
  'guy',
  'went',
  'place',
  'afterwards',
  'tried',
  'force',
  'go',
  'farther',
  'wanted',
  'go',
  'ive',
  'afraid',
  'even',
  'hang',
  'guy',
  'since',
  'next',
  'day',
  'wa',
  'fired',
  'job',
  'spent',
  'whole',
  'rest',
  'week',
  'alone',
  'filling',
  'job',
  'app',
  'didnt',
  'help',
  'depression',
  'next',
  'week',
  'started',
  'issue',
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  'want',
  'kill',
  'well',
  'much',
  'loving',
  'supporting',
  'parent'],
 ['amclose',
  'scare',
  'recently',
  'started',
  'college',
  'quickly',
  'made',
  'friend',
  'nice',
  'feeling',
  'depressionsuicide',
  'returned',
  'pushed',
  'away',
  'nobody',
  'school',
  'would',
  'care',
  'die',
  'b',
  'kid',
  'many',
  'people',
  'knew',
  'killed',
  'self',
  'st',
  'semester',
  'without',
  'friend',
  'think',
  'suicide',
  'took',
  'run',
  'wood',
  'today',
  'scout',
  'tree',
  'could',
  'handle',
  'weight',
  'hang',
  'hate',
  'myselfi',
  'ama',
  'burden',
  'people',
  'theyre',
  'better',
  'without',
  'mei',
  'amjust',
  'pussy',
  'need',
  'go',
  'die'],
 ['good',
  'dont',
  'really',
  'problem',
  'confidence',
  'talking',
  'people',
  'often',
  'decide',
  'say',
  'isnt',
  'worth',
  'wasting',
  'people',
  'time',
  'though',
  'guess',
  'maybe',
  'problem',
  'confidence',
  'dunno',
  'feel',
  'confident',
  'feel',
  'likei',
  'ama',
  'waste',
  'chemical',
  'want',
  'die'],
 ...]

Create Datasets¶

In [ ]:
# TODO: create twitter dataset
train_dataset = Twitter(
    dataframe=X_train,  # Replace with your train dataframe
    w2v_model=w2v_model,  # Replace with your Word2Vec model
    sequence_len=64 # Replace with your desired maximum sequence length
)
valid_dataset = Twitter(
        dataframe=X_test,  # Replace with your validation dataframe
    w2v_model=w2v_model,  # Same Word2Vec model as for training
    sequence_len=64
)

print(f"Train dataset length: {len(train_dataset)}")
print(f"Valid dataset length: {len(valid_dataset)}")
tokens
Deleted 0-Len Samples: 27
<ipython-input-22-3f8ea8f5d511>:43: SettingWithCopyWarning: 
A value is trying to be set on a copy of a slice from a DataFrame.
Try using .loc[row_indexer,col_indexer] = value instead

See the caveats in the documentation: https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/stable/user_guide/indexing.html#returning-a-view-versus-a-copy
  self.dataframe[self.df_token_col] = self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(self._pad)
<ipython-input-22-3f8ea8f5d511>:56: UserWarning: Creating a tensor from a list of numpy.ndarrays is extremely slow. Please consider converting the list to a single numpy.ndarray with numpy.array() before converting to a tensor. (Triggered internally at ../torch/csrc/utils/tensor_new.cpp:274.)
  return torch.tensor(matrix, dtype=torch.float32)
<ipython-input-22-3f8ea8f5d511>:46: SettingWithCopyWarning: 
A value is trying to be set on a copy of a slice from a DataFrame.
Try using .loc[row_indexer,col_indexer] = value instead

See the caveats in the documentation: https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/stable/user_guide/indexing.html#returning-a-view-versus-a-copy
  self.dataframe["vector"] = self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(self._get_word_vectors)
tokens
Deleted 0-Len Samples: 9
<ipython-input-22-3f8ea8f5d511>:43: SettingWithCopyWarning: 
A value is trying to be set on a copy of a slice from a DataFrame.
Try using .loc[row_indexer,col_indexer] = value instead

See the caveats in the documentation: https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/stable/user_guide/indexing.html#returning-a-view-versus-a-copy
  self.dataframe[self.df_token_col] = self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(self._pad)
Train dataset length: 7268
Valid dataset length: 1815
<ipython-input-22-3f8ea8f5d511>:46: SettingWithCopyWarning: 
A value is trying to be set on a copy of a slice from a DataFrame.
Try using .loc[row_indexer,col_indexer] = value instead

See the caveats in the documentation: https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/stable/user_guide/indexing.html#returning-a-view-versus-a-copy
  self.dataframe["vector"] = self.dataframe[self.df_token_col].map(self._get_word_vectors)
In [ ]:
train_dataset.seq_report()
Sequence Length Report
:::::MAX  LENGTH:::[ 64  ]
:::::MIN  LENGTH:::[ 64  ]
:::::MEAN LENGTH:::[64.0 ]
{0, 'hill', 'troublei', 'persist', 'undiagnosed', 'liddell', 'recorded', 'eyelid', 'starvation', 'reflecting', 'deathi', 'melbourne', 'childhood', 'cowbell', 'scholl', 'convey', 'amm', 'bout', 'trait', 'setback', 'meditation', 'bedtoday', 'nearly', 'cringe', 'homeyou', 'amstarting', 'skirting', 'gentleman', 'barrel', 'around', 'knot', 'bound', 'irl', 'relationship', 'happenedi', 'prescription', 'communion', 'criterion', 'workingim', 'marching', 'medical', 'elenore', 'amsupposed', 'mondaylooong', 'amthinking', 'entityi', 'corporation', 'blossom', 'comforting', 'twitterloluhmi', 'racehorse', 'hatton', 'likelihood', 'malicei', 'sweetbadazz', 'inability', 'rinse', 'alwaysi', 'expedition', 'filipino', 'anonymously', 'steve', 'gameplay', 'requesting', 'psychiatrist', 'meani', 'kekistanis', 'fascat', 'nigga', 'postpaid', 'esteemptsd', 'yuta', 'assist', 'sheet', 'amborn', 'silly', 'offed', 'foggy', 'shy', 'population', 'hardcore', 'minimum', 'luv', 'cone', 'girlfriendthe', 'skillz', 'becky', 'blunt', 'bandana', 'thanks', 'voting', 'amseeing', 'belgium', 'autoimmune', 'misclicks', 'studyyyyyy', 'armored', 'bring', 'evict', 'progress', 'degenerative', 'upstairs', 'kondo', 'ucr', 'plate', 'stream', 'tbhi', 'dangerfeild', 'attempti', 'wif', 'forgive', 'hcr', 'vacation', 'profound', 'comesbut', 'pointing', 'impoverish', 'reconciliation', 'initiate', 'mean', 'equality', 'plunge', 'agent', 'goodmorning', 'nowhonestly', 'stubborn', 'photography', 'jeeeezzz', 'finance', 'semesteri', 'moody', 'bitch', 'curei', 'claw', 'bowling', 'chinese', 'partyi', 'worstthe', 'statusi', 'throttling', 'saturdayand', 'except', 'confrontation', 'dbt', 'rumour', 'wit', 'penrhos', 'explosion', 'contemplated', 'sfx', 'parut', 'jaguar', 'cancelled', 'drained', 'oneand', 'pakistan', 'aftereffect', 'gene', 'socket', 'jivin', 'triggeri', 'swm', 'sik', 'sa', 'methadone', 'snorer', 'fare', 'suicidal', 'pack', 'te', 'boilingand', 'removing', 'nowit', 'goyang', 'amfriendless', 'ol', 'outmanned', 'contain', 'baguette', 'amcompletely', 'borni', 'manager', 'dystopic', 'iimissss', 'euthanasia', 'lemon', 'early', 'bare', 'panadol', 'amcoming', 'vaccine', 'oneself', 'tabby', 'shameful', 'dancin', 'speciali', 'solved', 'xp', 'decemberim', 'familiar', 'peeawwww', 'cushion', 'priviliged', 'canada', 'futurei', 'nutty', 'snot', 'yeari', 'education', 'antidepressant', 'desyrel', 'negativity', 'hellblaze', 'diei', 'ueda', 'ein', 'amspiraling', 'luisa', 'fish', 'dreamworld', 'dre', 'claiming', 'talkquot', 'haunted', 'hip', 'thhubmx', 'south', 'carburetor', 'scar', 'extracurriculars', 'dissapointment', 'analysis', 'undergrad', 'bane', 'darken', 'opinionsfirst', 'orgins', 'itabout', 'glow', 'farri', 'kimi', 'bus', 'offto', 'difficult', 'midteens', 'graduating', 'fucki', 'stans', 'paralysedi', 'drink', 'hitler', 'saturdaywrong', 'activemore', 'despise', 'backbut', 'attempted', 'assessed', 'refrained', 'badlyi', 'shuttling', 'megan', 'windy', 'clearly', 'poster', 'olanzapine', 'amdevastated', 'trashed', 'double', 'wolverine', 'profesonal', 'clowning', 'brutality', 'assigned', 'jus', 'eats', 'rapidly', 'major', 'timesive', 'persisted', 'sooooooo', 'raadio', 'valid', 'auth', 'reasoni', 'roof', 'escaping', 'palette', 'network', 'passedthings', 'answer', 'theyve', 'conect', 'hobbiesthings', 'gloat', 'handlewith', 'punchstompbitethrowtear', 'garden', 'negotiation', 'faraday', 'cover', 'genetics', 'columbine', 'arresting', 'mind', 'fashion', 'top', 'escaped', 'solo', 'etci', 'complex', 'amtwenty', 'protest', 'z', 'probing', 'fap', 'grad', 'nopeits', 'napquot', 'adhdi', 'owwwwwyyyyy', 'unfuck', 'cord', 'tolerated', 'lurked', 'giant', 'callshes', 'epidemic', 'persona', 'disabilityin', 'whateveryou', 'urine', 'steal', 'leaf', 'transwoman', 'drinking', 'poverty', 'bangtan', 'special', 'elegance', 'march', 'bachelorsi', 'artistsi', 'copyright', 'client', 'somehowi', 'resultespecially', 'relieving', 'whiskey', 'nightmare', 'singapore', 'whyi', 'inadequate', 'bad', 'girlfreiends', 'continuity', 'bluddy', 'sperm', 'mum', 'unfairi', 'amdeadconstantly', 'lamb', 'ultrasound', 'wasting', 'daughteri', 'unconconscious', 'supermarket', 'organ', 'interest', 'neverwinter', 'jeepcherokee', 'besides', 'cari', 'matterevery', 'humbug', 'hyper', 'hugging', 'seedling', 'lease', 'uncommon', 'netbooks', 'bleeeech', 'formi', 'hiv', 'bsit', 'scrambled', 'rave', 'wellbutrin', 'boxing', 'choicevoices', 'treating', 'cured', 'somethingi', 'underlying', 'pronounced', 'internshipnow', 'salmon', 'encouraging', 'makin', 'leaveim', 'nan', 'believesi', 'eruption', 'selfcontrol', 'weirdo', 'etiquette', 'accomplish', 'engage', 'rni', 'billsin', 'like', 'ipquot', 'somethin', 'interrupt', 'normalbut', 'fridaynight', 'posessions', 'marcus', 'pregnancy', 'noooo', 'untreated', 'insentive', 'mater', 'desktop', 'amscared', 'wisethe', 'possibleive', 'person', 'doctorbeing', 'goodi', 'flume', 'recreational', 'giving', 'amuselessi', 'depressionnowi', 'sh', 'uncontrollable', 'whole', 'rafter', 'stink', 'terrified', 'innocence', 'shes', 'wander', 'dangit', 'glitch', 'stake', 'inlaws', 'makei', 'tj', 'padded', 'best', 'feed', 'intersection', 'researchesall', 'prayer', 'detrimental', 'painnn', 'roughness', 'explode', 'againafter', 'apathetici', 'obtaining', 'boulevard', 'stuffi', 'tris', 'doubt', 'mesh', 'evil', 'oppurtunities', 'oooh', 'transferred', 'favour', 'son', 'awwwwwww', 'volume', 'rodeo', 'istusin', 'highslows', 'reposting', 'sociallyi', 'kyoto', 'copycat', 'boput', 'twitpic', 'mindlessly', 'filmmaker', 'ago', 'demonized', 'ssn', 'need', 'google', 'girli', 'topedit', 'trainwreck', 'burningand', 'learnedto', 'ruining', 'certified', 'mummissed', 'made', 'howi', 'downade', 'amstressed', 'regional', 'asking', 'cosmic', 'crp', 'animation', 'multiple', 'trunk', 'programming', 'liverpool', 'cali', 'tetnus', 'frat', 'vehicle', 'mtva', 'blast', 'godi', 'resorting', 'journey', 'thisee', 'change', 'open', 'stopi', 'amlost', 'aced', 'isand', 'toward', 'buhay', 'dang', 'amsuffocating', 'quiting', 'revelation', 'selfies', 'adulti', 'reaching', 'peopleim', 'denial', 'learnt', 'fukt', 'eric', 'icky', 'eat', 'questionfor', 'monster', 'mileycyrus', 'commented', 'casually', 'greatbut', 'brrrr', 'quickest', 'rescind', 'burger', 'entirety', 'yube', 'begged', 'supposedlyi', 'ramble', 'everythingi', 'laterr', 'buh', 'myselfam', 'mockshow', 'razor', 'hii', 'germany', 'sympathise', 'tourist', 'palm', 'youtube', 'monoxide', 'ameither', 'leeched', 'bald', 'mine', 'averse', 'spyware', 'potent', 'angrier', 'attemptdont', 'goofed', 'bich', 'amazonfail', 'femalerepellent', 'amhere', 'winston', 'grocery', 'subside', 'jerk', 'devestating', 'interact', 'stuffy', 'unfortuately', 'dadshe', 'anxietyi', 'desired', 'twitastic', 'hung', 'donate', 'lind', 'remind', 'baught', 'skinny', 'centenary', 'selfimportance', 'ready', 'frequent', 'echoing', 'bupropion', 'bodyi', 'car', 'pistol', 'separate', 'brokeor', 'guardian', 'deathif', 'involuntary', 'admiring', 'washing', 'ive', 'creep', 'cushy', 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'jett', 'anon', 'whilst', 'personification', 'able', 'ate', 'pour', 'chosen', 'gal', 'nothingim', 'donti', 'youmyself', 'pertinent', 'amconsistently', 'ct', 'inspected', 'andiamo', 'bruh', 'enjoyable', 'diver', 'thom', 'ilu', 'pov', 'fidget', 'slid', 'marvin', 'simultaneously', 'tracksterrr', 'onlinesteam', 'premiere', 'word', 'charmed', 'dropout', 'red', 'candle', 'takei', 'disappears', 'pattinson', 'penniless', 'amsurei', 'selfishness', 'river', 'sorryim', 'fishy', 'max', 'somali', 'variable', 'expose', 'however', 'kick', 'spain', 'realize', 'stab', 'hungerstrike', 'censor', 'commit', 'dailyi', 'reboot', 'pmsl', 'nothey', 'hire', 'honestlyi', 'hurtand', 'tennis', 'tt', 'suicde', 'subconsciously', 'bcos', 'chinatown', 'terror', 'intravenous', 'looting', 'drove', 'still', 'disappeared', 'hypomanic', 'soft', 'debated', 'flaw', 'withwitnessed', 'regretful', 'thought', 'considerate', 'jump', 'blacksmith', 'detailed', 'thooo', 'ellen', 'uhmmm', 'repetition', 'vomitbe', 'tiny', 'selfishi', 'included', 'harass', 'kg', 'becausei', 'saa', 'lessen', 'fanciful', 'responsible', 'doas', 'shedmy', 'isno', 'attitude', 'happyconfident', 'convince', 'torturous', 'quarantine', 'loft', 'stained', 'strap', 'setting', 'windpipe', 'fightdying', 'surprise', 'ex', 'ribcage', 'mke', 'eff', 'stunning', 'deserted', 'quotlack', 'concrete', 'boxsome', 'block', 'willogicalmy', 'terribleeven', 'cuddling', 'moree', 'whateveritscalled', 'possiblei', 'phasing', 'stick', 'abdomen', 'bid', 'conservative', 'remodel', 'rabbit', 'harm', 'western', 'yearsall', 'circle', 'successful', 'extended', 'credibility', 'onion', 'blink', 'disrespectful', 'freezing', 'marina', 'welli', 'sunshowers', 'yearsscreenshots', 'shark', 'killing', 'mega', 'landed', 'poetic', 'tempered', 'phase', 'mill', 'litteraly', 'eugenicist', 'beingthe', 'swimmer', 'minekind', 'amexperiencing', 'fell', 'decentreasonable', 'mantits', 'garment', 'protesting', 'associated', 'schlannies', 'noo', 'trillioni', 'favorite', 'policeand', 'wayyyyyy', 'bite', 'manifest', 'cynical', 'hella', 'worn', 'also', 'banning', 'easy', 'amalone', 'reschedule', 'butter', 'swat', 'negligent', 'number', 'angsty', 'etoile', 'podcast', 'ugliest', 'badim', 'hashtags', 'woody', 'anynomous', 'amsicki', 'co', 'mountain', 'kidnap', 'kakashis', 'tropical', 'spineless', 'fifth', 'involves', 'consuming', 'circa', 'gown', 'oont', 'teami', 'kauai', 'pool', 'pass', 'amtheir', 'pleasurable', 'landshut', 'whatsoever', 'cried', 'masturbate', 'crinkley', 'noi', 'bloodscar', 'lmfaoao', 'brainstorming', 'newcastle', 'metoday', 'cilinder', 'gowhen', 'righteous', 'spend', 'give', 'daydamn', 'ultimate', 'slowlywaterfall', 'blighty', 'hallucinate', 'swirl', 'disproportionate', 'lawsi', 'bloodline', 'stupidity', 'taken', 'friendshipi', 'ford', 'callin', 'toe', 'thus', 'suffice', 'rico', 'extremely', 'addict', 'aaron', 'relapsedi', 'noticedi', 'overthink', 'epic', 'deny', 'cripple', 'native', 'knowledge', 'arrest', 'called', 'pairget', 'owe', 'firearm', 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Sequence Tokenization Report
:::::All Unique Tokens:::[14881 
:::::All Valid Tokens:::[10670 
:::::Valid Tokens:::[71.7 %]

Model and Train¶

Utils¶

In [ ]:
from typing import Union
from typing import List

@torch.no_grad()
def model_eval(model, loader, loss_function, device):#str['cuda', 'cpu', 'auto']
    """Returns test_loss, test_acc"""
    test_loss = 0.0
    test_acc = 0.0

    if device == "auto":
        device = torch.device("cuda" if torch.cuda.is_available() else "cpu")

    model = model.to(device)
    itr = tqdm(loader, total=len(loader), leave=False)

    for inputs, labels in itr:
        # TODO: move model's inputs to `device`
        inputs = inputs.to(device)
        labels = labels.to(device)

        # TODO: use model's forward pass to generate outputs
        outputs = model(inputs)

        # TODO: calculate model's loss
        loss = loss_function(outputs, labels)

        # TODO: calculate/update model's accuracy
        _, predicted = torch.max(outputs.data, 1)
        test_acc += (predicted == labels).sum().item()
        test_loss += loss.item() * inputs.size(0)

        itr.set_description("(Eval)")
        itr.set_postfix(
            loss=round(loss.item(), 5),
            accuracy=round(test_acc / len(loader.dataset), 5),
        )

    return test_loss, test_acc / len(loader.dataset)
In [ ]:
def train_model(
        model,
        batch_size,
        loss_function,
        optimizer,
        epochs,
        train_set,
        valid_set,
        device,
):

    if device == "auto":
        device = torch.device("cuda" if torch.cuda.is_available() else "cpu")

    model.to(device)

    train_losses = []
    train_accs = []

    valid_losses = []
    valid_accs = []

    # TODO: create dataloaders from datasets
    train_loader = DataLoader(train_set, batch_size=batch_size, shuffle=True)
    valid_loader = DataLoader(valid_set, batch_size=batch_size, shuffle=False)

    model.to(device)

    itr = tqdm(train_loader, total=len(train_loader), leave=False)
    print(itr)
    for epoch in range(epochs):
        model.train()
        epoch_loss = 0
        epoch_acc = 0
        print("epoch:",epoch)
        for idx, (inputs, labels) in enumerate(itr, start=1):#itr
            print(idx)
            # TODO: move model's inputs to `device`
            inputs = inputs.to(device)
            labels = labels.to(device)

            # TODO: use model's forward pass to generate outputs
            outputs = model(inputs)

            # TODO: process model's predictipns and calculate/update accuracy
            _, preds = torch.max(outputs, 1)
            epoch_acc += torch.sum(preds == labels.data)

            # TODO: calculate model's loss and update epoch's loss
            loss = loss_function(outputs, labels)
            epoch_loss += loss.item()

            # TODO: 1. clear optimizer's state and zero prev grads,
            # TODO: 2. backward calculated loss
            # TODO: 3. step optimizer
            optimizer.zero_grad()
            loss.backward()
            optimizer.step()

            itr.set_description(f"(Training) Epoch [{epoch + 1}/{epochs}]")
            itr.set_postfix(
              loss=round(loss.item(), 5),
              accuracy=round(epoch_acc / len(train_loader.dataset), 5),
              )

        model.eval()
        valid_loss, valid_acc = model_eval(
            model=model,
            loader=valid_loader,
            loss_function=loss_function,
            device=device
            )

        # TODO: update statistics regaurding model's loss and acc in training or validation phases
        train_losses.append(epoch_loss / len(train_loader))
        train_accs.append(epoch_acc / len(train_loader.dataset))

        valid_losses.append(valid_loss)
        valid_accs.append(valid_acc)

    history = {
      "train_loss": train_losses,
      "train_acc": train_accs,

      "valid_loss": valid_losses,
      "valid_acc": valid_accs,
    }
    return history
In [ ]:
def trend_plot_helper(pobj):
    plt.figure(figsize=(5*len(pobj), 5))
    for idx, (titler, plots) in enumerate(pobj.items(), start=1):
        plt.subplot(1, len(pobj), idx)
        for label, trend in plots:
            plt.plot(range(1, len(trend)+1), trend, label=label)
        yt, xt = titler.split(' - ')
        plt.xlabel(xt)
        plt.ylabel(yt)
        plt.legend()
In [ ]:
@torch.no_grad()
def generate_confusion_matrix(model, dataset, device='auto'):
    if device == 'auto':
        device = torch.device("cuda" if torch.cuda.is_available() else "cpu")
    model = model.to(device)

    loader = DataLoader(dataset, batch_size=32, shuffle=False)
    itr = tqdm(loader, leave=False, desc="Generate data")

    labels = []
    predicted = []

    model.eval()
    for idx, (inputs, label) in enumerate(itr, start=1):
        # TODO: move model's inputs to `device`
        inputs = inputs.to(device)

        # TODO: use model's forward pass to generate outputs
        outputs = model(inputs)

        # TODO: process model's predictions and save them
        _, preds = torch.max(outputs, 1)
        predicted.extend(preds.cpu().numpy())
        labels.extend(label.cpu().numpy())

    cm = metrics.confusion_matrix(
        y_true=labels,
        y_pred=predicted,
    )

    plt.figure(figsize=(10,10))
    sns.heatmap(cm, cmap='Blues', annot=True, cbar=False, fmt=".0f",)
    plt.xlabel('Predicted Label', labelpad=20)
    plt.ylabel('True Label', labelpad=20)
    plt.title('Confusion Matrix', fontsize=30)

    recall = metrics.recall_score(y_true=labels, y_pred=predicted, average='macro')
    f1 = metrics.f1_score(y_true=labels, y_pred=predicted, average='macro')
    precision = metrics.precision_score(y_true=labels, y_pred=predicted, average='macro')
    report = metrics.classification_report(y_true=labels, y_pred=predicted)

    return {'recall': recall, 'f1': f1, 'precision': precision, 'report': report}

Model's Network¶

In [ ]:
import torch
import torch.nn as nn

class CNN(nn.Module):
    def __init__(self, input_channels=3, num_classes=10):
        super(CNN, self).__init__()

        self.conv1 = nn.Conv2d(input_channels, 32, kernel_size=3, padding=1)
        self.relu1 = nn.ReLU()
        self.maxpool1 = nn.MaxPool2d(kernel_size=2, stride=2)

        self.conv2 = nn.Conv2d(32, 64, kernel_size=3, padding=1)
        self.relu2 = nn.ReLU()
        self.maxpool2 = nn.MaxPool2d(kernel_size=2, stride=2)

        self.conv3 = nn.Conv2d(64, 128, kernel_size=3, padding=1)
        self.relu3 = nn.ReLU()
        self.maxpool3 = nn.MaxPool2d(kernel_size=2, stride=2)

        self.flatten = nn.Flatten()
        self.fc1 = nn.Linear(128 * 4 * 4, 128)
        self.relu4 = nn.ReLU()
        self.fc2 = nn.Linear(128, num_classes)

    def forward(self, x):
        x = self.conv1(x)
        x = self.relu1(x)
        x = self.maxpool1(x)

        x = self.conv2(x)
        x = self.relu2(x)
        x = self.maxpool2(x)

        x = self.conv3(x)
        x = self.relu3(x)
        x = self.maxpool3(x)

        x = self.flatten(x)
        x = self.fc1(x)
        x = self.relu4(x)
        x = self.fc2(x)

        return x

Training¶

In [ ]:
# TODO: instantiate your model here
# model =
model = CNN(input_channels=1, num_classes=10)
In [ ]:
print(model)
CNN(
  (conv1): Conv2d(1, 32, kernel_size=(3, 3), stride=(1, 1), padding=(1, 1))
  (relu1): ReLU()
  (maxpool1): MaxPool2d(kernel_size=2, stride=2, padding=0, dilation=1, ceil_mode=False)
  (conv2): Conv2d(32, 64, kernel_size=(3, 3), stride=(1, 1), padding=(1, 1))
  (relu2): ReLU()
  (maxpool2): MaxPool2d(kernel_size=2, stride=2, padding=0, dilation=1, ceil_mode=False)
  (conv3): Conv2d(64, 128, kernel_size=(3, 3), stride=(1, 1), padding=(1, 1))
  (relu3): ReLU()
  (maxpool3): MaxPool2d(kernel_size=2, stride=2, padding=0, dilation=1, ceil_mode=False)
  (flatten): Flatten(start_dim=1, end_dim=-1)
  (fc1): Linear(in_features=2048, out_features=128, bias=True)
  (relu4): ReLU()
  (fc2): Linear(in_features=128, out_features=10, bias=True)
)
In [ ]:
# function for drawing a cloud of frequently used words
from wordcloud import WordCloud,STOPWORDS

def wordcloud_img(data):
    plt.figure(figsize = (20,20))
    wc = WordCloud(min_font_size = 3,
                   background_color="white",
                   max_words = 3000,
                   width = 1000,
                   height = 600,
                   stopwords = STOPWORDS).generate(str(" ".join(data)))
    plt.imshow(wc,interpolation = 'bilinear')
In [ ]:
wordcloud_img(data[data['intention'] == 1]['tweet'])
In [ ]:
wordcloud_img(data[data['intention'] == 0]['tweet'])
In [ ]:
wordcloud_img(cleaned_tweets[2])

In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing the size of the text window, so that it is larger than the entire data set, in a convolutional neural network.¶

Let's think about the advantages and disadvantages of making a text window larger than the entire dataset:

Disadvantages:

Computational Infeasibility: Processing a window larger than the entire dataset would be extremely computationally expensive, if not impossible, for most real-world datasets. The memory requirements and processing time would become enormous.

Redundancy and Dilution: A huge context window would include a lot of irrelevant information. The model might struggle to identify meaningful patterns as the signal would be diluted by noise from unrelated parts of the dataset.

Loss of Specificity: Convolutional layers are designed to extract local features. With a window larger than the dataset, the "local" context loses its meaning. The model might end up learning very general, dataset-level features that are not useful for making specific predictions about individual data points.

Potential Advantages (Mostly Theoretical):

Global Context: In theory, a window encompassing the entire dataset would provide the ultimate global context. The model could potentially learn very high-level relationships and dependencies that span the entire dataset.

Dataset-Level Features: The model might learn features that represent the overall characteristics or distribution of the dataset, which could be useful for certain meta-learning or dataset analysis tasks.

Practical Considerations:

In almost all practical scenarios, using a text window larger than the entire dataset is not feasible or beneficial for training a convolutional neural network.

The computational costs are prohibitive, and the model is likely to learn less useful features.

Context windows are meant to provide local context, and making them too large defeats their purpose.

Alternative Approaches:

If you want to incorporate global context or dataset-level features into your model, there are more effective alternatives:

Recurrent Neural Networks (RNNs): RNNs are well-suited for processing sequential data and capturing long-range dependencies.

Transformers: Transformers have become very popular for NLP tasks. They use attention mechanisms to efficiently model relationships between words across long sequences.

Global Pooling Layers: Adding a global pooling layer (like Global Average Pooling) after your convolutional layers can help capture global features without using an enormous context window.

Compare the obtained results with the previous section. Were your observations as expected? Is the model properly trained? How has the performance of the model changed? Explain.¶

done in the code.

without batch and dropout .¶

In [ ]:
import torch
import torch.nn as nn
import torch.optim as optim
from torch.utils.data import Dataset, DataLoader
from gensim.models import KeyedVectors
import nltk
import numpy as np
import pandas as pd
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
from sklearn.metrics import accuracy_score, precision_score, recall_score, f1_score, confusion_matrix
import string
from sklearn.metrics import ConfusionMatrixDisplay
from tqdm import tqdm  # For progress bars

# 1. Data Preparation and Preprocessing

class TwitterDataset(Dataset):
    def __init__(self, data_path, word2vec_path):
        self.data = self.load_data(data_path)
        self.word2vec = KeyedVectors.load_word2vec_format(word2vec_path, binary=True)
        self.embedding = nn.Embedding.from_pretrained(torch.FloatTensor(self.word2vec.vectors))

    def load_data(self, data_path):
        data = pd.read_csv(data_path, encoding='utf-8')
        return data

    def __len__(self):
        return len(self.data)

    def __getitem__(self, idx):
        tweet = self.data.iloc[idx]['tweet']
        intention = self.data.iloc[idx]['intention']
        tokens = nltk.word_tokenize(tweet)

        # Preprocess text
        processed_tokens = [token.lower() for token in tokens if token.isalpha()]
        stop_words = set(nltk.corpus.stopwords.words('english'))
        processed_tokens = [token for token in processed_tokens if token not in stop_words]

        # Convert tokens to word embeddings
        embeddings = [self.word2vec.get_vector(token)
                       for token in processed_tokens
                       if token in self.word2vec.key_to_index]

        # Handle missing words
        if len(embeddings) < len(processed_tokens):
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (len(processed_tokens) - len(embeddings))

        # Pad or truncate sequences
        max_length = 100
        if len(embeddings) < max_length:
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (max_length - len(embeddings))
        else:
            embeddings = embeddings[:max_length]

        # Convert embeddings to float
        return torch.tensor(embeddings, dtype=torch.float), torch.tensor(intention)

# 2. CNN Model

class CNN(nn.Module):
    def __init__(self, embedding_dim, output_size):
        super(CNN, self).__init__()
        self.embedding_dim = embedding_dim
        self.output_size = output_size

        # Convolutional layers
        self.conv1 = nn.Conv1d(embedding_dim, 64, kernel_size=3, padding=1)
        self.conv2 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=5, padding=2)
        self.conv3 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=7, padding=3)
        self.conv4 = nn.Conv1d(64, 128, kernel_size=3, padding=1)
        self.conv5 = nn.Conv1d(128, 128, kernel_size=5, padding=2)
        self.conv6 = nn.Conv1d(128, 128, kernel_size=7, padding=3)

        # Activation function
        self.relu = nn.ReLU()

        # Max pooling layer
        self.maxpool = nn.MaxPool1d(kernel_size=2, padding=1)

        # Flatten layer
        self.flatten = nn.Flatten()

        # Linear layers
        output_size_after_flatten = 64 * 78   # Assuming your pooling results in a sequence length of 24
        self.fc1 = nn.Linear(output_size_after_flatten, 128)
        self.fc2 = nn.Linear(128, output_size)

    def forward(self, x):
        # Transpose the input
        x = x.transpose(1, 2)  # Change from [batch_size, sequence_length, embedding_dim] to [batch_size, embedding_dim, sequence_length]

        # Apply convolutional layers
        x1 = self.relu(self.conv1(x))
        x2 = self.relu(self.conv2(x1))
        x3 = self.relu(self.conv3(x2))

        x1 = self.maxpool(x1)
        x2 = self.maxpool(x2)
        x3 = self.maxpool(x3)

        x = torch.cat([x1, x2, x3], dim=1)

        x = self.maxpool(x)

        # Flatten the output
        x = self.flatten(x)

        # Apply linear layers
        x = self.relu(self.fc1(x))
        x = self.fc2(x)

        return x

# 3. Training and Evaluation

class Trainer:
    def __init__(self, model, optimizer, criterion, device):
        self.model = model
        self.optimizer = optimizer
        self.criterion = criterion
        self.device = device
        self.train_losses = []
        self.val_losses = []
        self.train_accuracies = []
        self.val_accuracies = []

    def train_step(self, batch):
        self.model.train()
        self.optimizer.zero_grad()
        data, target = batch
        data = data.to(self.device)
        target = target.to(self.device)
        output = self.model(data)
        loss = self.criterion(output, target)
        loss.backward()
        self.optimizer.step()
        return loss.item(), output, target

    def train_epoch(self, train_loader):
        epoch_loss = 0
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        with tqdm(train_loader, unit='batch', leave=False) as tepoch:  # Progress bar
            for batch in tepoch:
                loss, output, target = self.train_step(batch)
                epoch_loss += loss
                tepoch.set_description(f'Training Loss: {loss:.4f}')
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()
        self.train_losses.append(epoch_loss / len(train_loader))
        self.train_accuracies.append(correct / total)

    def evaluate(self, test_loader):
        self.model.eval()
        total_loss = 0
        y_true = []
        y_pred = []
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        with torch.no_grad():
            for batch in test_loader:
                data, target = batch
                data = data.to(self.device)
                target = target.to(self.device)
                output = self.model(data)
                loss = self.criterion(output, target)
                total_loss += loss.item()
                y_true.extend(target.tolist())
                y_pred.extend(torch.argmax(output, dim=1).tolist())
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()

        accuracy = accuracy_score(y_true, y_pred)
        precision = precision_score(y_true, y_pred)
        recall = recall_score(y_true, y_pred)
        f1 = f1_score(y_true, y_pred)

        print(f'Test Loss: {total_loss/len(test_loader):.4f}')
        print(f'Accuracy: {accuracy:.4f}')
        print(f'Precision: {precision:.4f}')
        print(f'Recall: {recall:.4f}')
        print(f'F1 Score: {f1:.4f}')

        # Confusion matrix
        cm = confusion_matrix(y_true, y_pred)
        disp = ConfusionMatrixDisplay(confusion_matrix=cm)
        disp.plot()
        plt.show()

        return total_loss/len(test_loader), accuracy, precision, recall, f1

    def train(self, train_loader, val_loader, epochs):
        for epoch in range(epochs):
            print(f"Epoch {epoch+1}")
            self.train_epoch(train_loader)
            val_loss, val_accuracy, val_precision, val_recall, val_f1 = self.evaluate(val_loader)
            self.val_losses.append(val_loss)
            self.val_accuracies.append(val_accuracy)

        # Plot training and validation loss
        plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
        plt.plot(self.train_losses, label='Training Loss')
        plt.plot(self.val_losses, label='Validation Loss')
        plt.xlabel('Epochs')
        plt.ylabel('Loss')
        plt.title('Training and Validation Loss Curves')
        plt.legend()
        plt.show()

        # Plot training and validation accuracy
        plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
        plt.plot(self.train_accuracies, label='Training Accuracy')
        plt.plot(self.val_accuracies, label='Validation Accuracy')
        plt.xlabel('Epochs')
        plt.ylabel('Accuracy')
        plt.title('Training and Validation Accuracy Curves')
        plt.legend()
        plt.show()

        # Report final training and test metrics
        print("Final Training Metrics:")
        self.evaluate(train_loader)
        print("Final Test Metrics:")
        self.evaluate(test_loader)

def run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate):
    # ... (rest of your code, same as before)

    # Initialize model, optimizer, and loss function
    model = CNN(embedding_dim, output_size).to(device)  # Move model to device
    optimizer = optim.Adam(model.parameters(), lr=learning_rate)
    criterion = nn.CrossEntropyLoss() # Using Cross-Entropy Loss

    # Train the model
    trainer = Trainer(model, optimizer, criterion, device)
    trainer.train(train_loader, val_loader, epochs)

if __name__ == '__main__':
    # Define parameters
    data_path = 'twitter-suicidal-data.csv'
    word2vec_path = "/content/drive/MyDrive/Colab Notebooks/GoogleNews-vectors-negative300.bin"
    embedding_dim = 300
    output_size = 2
    epochs = 10

    # Load dataset
    dataset = TwitterDataset(data_path, word2vec_path)
    train_size = int(0.8 * len(dataset))
    val_size = int(0.1 * len(dataset))
    test_size = len(dataset) - train_size - val_size
    train_dataset, val_dataset, test_dataset = torch.utils.data.random_split(dataset, [train_size, val_size, test_size])

    # Create data loaders
    train_loader = DataLoader(train_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=True)
    val_loader = DataLoader(val_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)
    test_loader = DataLoader(test_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)

    # Choose device (CPU or GPU if available)
    device = torch.device('cuda' if torch.cuda.is_available() else 'cpu')

    # Experiment with different batch sizes and learning rates
    batch_sizes = [16, 32, 64]
    learning_rates = [0.001, 0.0001, 0.00001]

    for batch_size in batch_sizes:
        for learning_rate in learning_rates:
            print(f"Experiment with Batch Size: {batch_size}, Learning Rate: {learning_rate}")
            run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate)
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.2357
Accuracy: 0.9045
Precision: 0.9192
Recall: 0.8687
F1 Score: 0.8933
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2114
Accuracy: 0.9166
Precision: 0.9214
Recall: 0.8950
F1 Score: 0.9080
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.2010
Accuracy: 0.9221
Precision: 0.9223
Recall: 0.9069
F1 Score: 0.9146
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2422
Accuracy: 0.9133
Precision: 0.9749
Recall: 0.8329
F1 Score: 0.8983
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2415
Accuracy: 0.9265
Precision: 0.9400
Recall: 0.8974
F1 Score: 0.9182
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3149
Accuracy: 0.9286
Precision: 0.9492
Recall: 0.8926
F1 Score: 0.9200
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3699
Accuracy: 0.9221
Precision: 0.9555
Recall: 0.8711
F1 Score: 0.9114
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.4142
Accuracy: 0.9243
Precision: 0.9268
Recall: 0.9069
F1 Score: 0.9168
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.4403
Accuracy: 0.9221
Precision: 0.9439
Recall: 0.8831
F1 Score: 0.9125
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.5239
Accuracy: 0.9221
Precision: 0.9628
Recall: 0.8640
F1 Score: 0.9107
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0081
Accuracy: 0.9970
Precision: 0.9959
Recall: 0.9972
F1 Score: 0.9965
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.5707
Accuracy: 0.9157
Precision: 0.9608
Recall: 0.8448
F1 Score: 0.8991
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 0.0001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.3406
Accuracy: 0.8617
Precision: 0.9399
Recall: 0.7470
F1 Score: 0.8324
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2721
Accuracy: 0.8858
Precision: 0.9674
Recall: 0.7780
F1 Score: 0.8624
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.2313
Accuracy: 0.9078
Precision: 0.9467
Recall: 0.8473
F1 Score: 0.8942
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2396
Accuracy: 0.9012
Precision: 0.9796
Recall: 0.8019
F1 Score: 0.8819
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2172
Accuracy: 0.9166
Precision: 0.9648
Recall: 0.8496
F1 Score: 0.9036
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.2170
Accuracy: 0.9166
Precision: 0.9623
Recall: 0.8520
F1 Score: 0.9038
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.2180
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9622
Recall: 0.8496
F1 Score: 0.9024
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.2215
Accuracy: 0.9111
Precision: 0.9617
Recall: 0.8401
F1 Score: 0.8968
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.2119
Accuracy: 0.9232
Precision: 0.9246
Recall: 0.9069
F1 Score: 0.9157
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.2156
Accuracy: 0.9243
Precision: 0.9534
Recall: 0.8783
F1 Score: 0.9143
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1444
Accuracy: 0.9427
Precision: 0.9605
Recall: 0.9055
F1 Score: 0.9322
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2334
Accuracy: 0.9025
Precision: 0.9342
Recall: 0.8399
F1 Score: 0.8846
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 1e-05
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.5794
Accuracy: 0.8244
Precision: 0.9544
Recall: 0.6492
F1 Score: 0.7727
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.4245
Accuracy: 0.8342
Precision: 0.9241
Recall: 0.6969
F1 Score: 0.7946
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.3788
Accuracy: 0.8364
Precision: 0.9245
Recall: 0.7017
F1 Score: 0.7978
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.3681
Accuracy: 0.8386
Precision: 0.9224
Recall: 0.7088
F1 Score: 0.8016
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.3621
Accuracy: 0.8408
Precision: 0.9255
Recall: 0.7112
F1 Score: 0.8043
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3545
Accuracy: 0.8441
Precision: 0.9159
Recall: 0.7279
F1 Score: 0.8112
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3487
Accuracy: 0.8562
Precision: 0.9286
Recall: 0.7446
F1 Score: 0.8265
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.3466
Accuracy: 0.8617
Precision: 0.9621
Recall: 0.7279
F1 Score: 0.8288
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.3385
Accuracy: 0.8683
Precision: 0.9517
Recall: 0.7518
F1 Score: 0.8400
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.3368
Accuracy: 0.8650
Precision: 0.9684
Recall: 0.7303
F1 Score: 0.8327
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3248
Accuracy: 0.8670
Precision: 0.9411
Recall: 0.7406
F1 Score: 0.8289
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3347
Accuracy: 0.8708
Precision: 0.9528
Recall: 0.7463
F1 Score: 0.8370
Experiment with Batch Size: 32, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.2407
Accuracy: 0.9045
Precision: 0.9663
Recall: 0.8210
F1 Score: 0.8877
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2232
Accuracy: 0.9100
Precision: 0.9720
Recall: 0.8282
F1 Score: 0.8943
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.2130
Accuracy: 0.9144
Precision: 0.9596
Recall: 0.8496
F1 Score: 0.9013
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2983
Accuracy: 0.8935
Precision: 0.9939
Recall: 0.7733
F1 Score: 0.8698
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2412
Accuracy: 0.9210
Precision: 0.9327
Recall: 0.8926
F1 Score: 0.9122
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3441
Accuracy: 0.9188
Precision: 0.9457
Recall: 0.8735
F1 Score: 0.9082
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.2872
Accuracy: 0.9254
Precision: 0.9377
Recall: 0.8974
F1 Score: 0.9171
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.4241
Accuracy: 0.9210
Precision: 0.9460
Recall: 0.8783
F1 Score: 0.9109
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.4062
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9524
Recall: 0.8592
F1 Score: 0.9034
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.4590
Accuracy: 0.9188
Precision: 0.9218
Recall: 0.8998
F1 Score: 0.9106
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0068
Accuracy: 0.9975
Precision: 0.9956
Recall: 0.9987
F1 Score: 0.9972
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.4844
Accuracy: 0.9146
Precision: 0.9080
Recall: 0.8990
F1 Score: 0.9035
Experiment with Batch Size: 32, Learning Rate: 0.0001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.3386
Accuracy: 0.8639
Precision: 0.9429
Recall: 0.7494
F1 Score: 0.8351
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2656
Accuracy: 0.8869
Precision: 0.9540
Recall: 0.7924
F1 Score: 0.8657
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.2332
Accuracy: 0.9034
Precision: 0.9321
Recall: 0.8520
F1 Score: 0.8903
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2236
Accuracy: 0.9199
Precision: 0.9553
Recall: 0.8663
F1 Score: 0.9086
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2156
Accuracy: 0.9177
Precision: 0.9550
Recall: 0.8616
F1 Score: 0.9059
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.2551
Accuracy: 0.8968
Precision: 0.9880
Recall: 0.7852
F1 Score: 0.8750
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.2108
Accuracy: 0.9199
Precision: 0.9459
Recall: 0.8759
F1 Score: 0.9095
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.2264
Accuracy: 0.9100
Precision: 0.9694
Recall: 0.8305
F1 Score: 0.8946
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.2100
Accuracy: 0.9286
Precision: 0.9585
Recall: 0.8831
F1 Score: 0.9193
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.2100
Accuracy: 0.9276
Precision: 0.9358
Recall: 0.9045
F1 Score: 0.9199
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1492
Accuracy: 0.9430
Precision: 0.9392
Recall: 0.9291
F1 Score: 0.9341
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2357
Accuracy: 0.9047
Precision: 0.9100
Recall: 0.8719
F1 Score: 0.8906
Experiment with Batch Size: 32, Learning Rate: 1e-05
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.5862
Accuracy: 0.8342
Precision: 0.8367
Recall: 0.7947
F1 Score: 0.8152
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.4413
Accuracy: 0.8266
Precision: 0.8919
Recall: 0.7088
F1 Score: 0.7899
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.3822
Accuracy: 0.8386
Precision: 0.9331
Recall: 0.6993
F1 Score: 0.7995
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.3677
Accuracy: 0.8375
Precision: 0.9248
Recall: 0.7041
F1 Score: 0.7995
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.3609
Accuracy: 0.8485
Precision: 0.9460
Recall: 0.7112
F1 Score: 0.8120
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3561
Accuracy: 0.8551
Precision: 0.9585
Recall: 0.7160
F1 Score: 0.8197
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3480
Accuracy: 0.8584
Precision: 0.9394
Recall: 0.7399
F1 Score: 0.8278
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.3448
Accuracy: 0.8617
Precision: 0.9592
Recall: 0.7303
F1 Score: 0.8293
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.3445
Accuracy: 0.8628
Precision: 0.9773
Recall: 0.7184
F1 Score: 0.8281
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.3329
Accuracy: 0.8694
Precision: 0.9658
Recall: 0.7422
F1 Score: 0.8394
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3246
Accuracy: 0.8658
Precision: 0.9236
Recall: 0.7539
F1 Score: 0.8301
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3323
Accuracy: 0.8719
Precision: 0.9474
Recall: 0.7537
F1 Score: 0.8395
Experiment with Batch Size: 64, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.2543
Accuracy: 0.8968
Precision: 0.9765
Recall: 0.7947
F1 Score: 0.8763
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2169
Accuracy: 0.9133
Precision: 0.9427
Recall: 0.8640
F1 Score: 0.9016
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.2193
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9091
Recall: 0.9069
F1 Score: 0.9080
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2455
Accuracy: 0.9188
Precision: 0.9481
Recall: 0.8711
F1 Score: 0.9080
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2690
Accuracy: 0.9122
Precision: 0.9248
Recall: 0.8807
F1 Score: 0.9022
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3412
Accuracy: 0.9067
Precision: 0.9372
Recall: 0.8544
F1 Score: 0.8939
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3750
Accuracy: 0.9188
Precision: 0.9481
Recall: 0.8711
F1 Score: 0.9080
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.3649
Accuracy: 0.9122
Precision: 0.9206
Recall: 0.8854
F1 Score: 0.9027
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.3380
Accuracy: 0.9188
Precision: 0.8984
Recall: 0.9284
F1 Score: 0.9131
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.3862
Accuracy: 0.9177
Precision: 0.9195
Recall: 0.8998
F1 Score: 0.9095
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0083
Accuracy: 0.9960
Precision: 0.9987
Recall: 0.9921
F1 Score: 0.9954
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.4430
Accuracy: 0.9091
Precision: 0.9130
Recall: 0.8793
F1 Score: 0.8959
Experiment with Batch Size: 64, Learning Rate: 0.0001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.3483
Accuracy: 0.8573
Precision: 0.9558
Recall: 0.7232
F1 Score: 0.8234
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2913
Accuracy: 0.8814
Precision: 0.9560
Recall: 0.7780
F1 Score: 0.8579
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.2392
Accuracy: 0.9034
Precision: 0.9584
Recall: 0.8258
F1 Score: 0.8872
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2570
Accuracy: 0.8913
Precision: 0.9819
Recall: 0.7780
F1 Score: 0.8682
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2203
Accuracy: 0.9166
Precision: 0.9342
Recall: 0.8807
F1 Score: 0.9066
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.2229
Accuracy: 0.9133
Precision: 0.9670
Recall: 0.8401
F1 Score: 0.8991
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.2142
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9340
Recall: 0.8783
F1 Score: 0.9053
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.2145
Accuracy: 0.9199
Precision: 0.9347
Recall: 0.8878
F1 Score: 0.9106
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.2161
Accuracy: 0.9232
Precision: 0.9463
Recall: 0.8831
F1 Score: 0.9136
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.2178
Accuracy: 0.9243
Precision: 0.9510
Recall: 0.8807
F1 Score: 0.9145
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1475
Accuracy: 0.9412
Precision: 0.9549
Recall: 0.9077
F1 Score: 0.9307
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2413
Accuracy: 0.8970
Precision: 0.9216
Recall: 0.8399
F1 Score: 0.8789
Experiment with Batch Size: 64, Learning Rate: 1e-05
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.5918
Accuracy: 0.8386
Precision: 0.8523
Recall: 0.7852
F1 Score: 0.8174
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.4554
Accuracy: 0.8310
Precision: 0.8932
Recall: 0.7184
F1 Score: 0.7963
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.3900
Accuracy: 0.8375
Precision: 0.9274
Recall: 0.7017
F1 Score: 0.7989
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.3711
Accuracy: 0.8375
Precision: 0.9248
Recall: 0.7041
F1 Score: 0.7995
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.3620
Accuracy: 0.8408
Precision: 0.9308
Recall: 0.7064
F1 Score: 0.8033
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3557
Accuracy: 0.8507
Precision: 0.9492
Recall: 0.7136
F1 Score: 0.8147
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3510
Accuracy: 0.8540
Precision: 0.9583
Recall: 0.7136
F1 Score: 0.8181
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.3449
Accuracy: 0.8595
Precision: 0.9533
Recall: 0.7303
F1 Score: 0.8270
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.3418
Accuracy: 0.8606
Precision: 0.9620
Recall: 0.7255
F1 Score: 0.8272
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.3344
Accuracy: 0.8683
Precision: 0.9628
Recall: 0.7422
F1 Score: 0.8383
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3270
Accuracy: 0.8635
Precision: 0.9185
Recall: 0.7529
F1 Score: 0.8275
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3338
Accuracy: 0.8686
Precision: 0.9441
Recall: 0.7488
F1 Score: 0.8352

With dropout and batch normalization¶

In [ ]:
import torch
import torch.nn as nn
import torch.optim as optim
from torch.utils.data import Dataset, DataLoader
from gensim.models import KeyedVectors
import nltk
import numpy as np
import pandas as pd
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
from sklearn.metrics import accuracy_score, precision_score, recall_score, f1_score, confusion_matrix
import string
from sklearn.metrics import ConfusionMatrixDisplay
from tqdm import tqdm
In [ ]:
# 1. Data Preparation and Preprocessing
class TwitterDataset(Dataset):
    def __init__(self, data_path, word2vec_path):
        self.data = self.load_data(data_path)
        self.word2vec = KeyedVectors.load_word2vec_format(word2vec_path, binary=True)
        self.embedding = nn.Embedding.from_pretrained(torch.FloatTensor(self.word2vec.vectors))

    def load_data(self, data_path):
        data = pd.read_csv(data_path, encoding='utf-8')
        return data

    def __len__(self):
        return len(self.data)

    def __getitem__(self, idx):
        tweet = self.data.iloc[idx]['tweet']
        intention = self.data.iloc[idx]['intention']
        tokens = nltk.word_tokenize(tweet)

        # Preprocess text
        processed_tokens = [token.lower() for token in tokens if token.isalpha()]
        stop_words = set(nltk.corpus.stopwords.words('english'))
        processed_tokens = [token for token in processed_tokens if token not in stop_words]

        # Convert tokens to word embeddings
        embeddings = [self.word2vec.get_vector(token)
                      for token in processed_tokens
                      if token in self.word2vec.key_to_index]

        # Handle missing words
        if len(embeddings) < len(processed_tokens):
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (len(processed_tokens) - len(embeddings))

        # Pad or truncate sequences
        max_length = 100
        if len(embeddings) < max_length:
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (max_length - len(embeddings))
        else:
            embeddings = embeddings[:max_length]

        # Convert embeddings to float
        return torch.tensor(embeddings, dtype=torch.float), torch.tensor(intention)
In [ ]:
# 2. CNN Model
class CNN(nn.Module):
    def __init__(self, embedding_dim, output_size):
        super(CNN, self).__init__()
        self.embedding_dim = embedding_dim
        self.output_size = output_size

        # Convolutional layers
        self.conv1 = nn.Conv1d(embedding_dim, 64, kernel_size=3, padding=1)
        self.conv2 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=5, padding=2)
        self.conv3 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=7, padding=3)
        self.conv4 = nn.Conv1d(64, 128, kernel_size=3, padding=1)
        self.conv5 = nn.Conv1d(128, 128, kernel_size=5, padding=2)
        self.conv6 = nn.Conv1d(128, 128, kernel_size=7, padding=3)

        # Batch Normalization layers (after each convolutional layer)
        self.bn1 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)
        self.bn2 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)
        self.bn3 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)
        self.bn4 = nn.BatchNorm1d(128)
        self.bn5 = nn.BatchNorm1d(128)
        self.bn6 = nn.BatchNorm1d(128)

        # Activation function
        self.relu = nn.ReLU()

        # Max pooling layer
        self.maxpool = nn.MaxPool1d(kernel_size=2, padding=1)

        # Flatten layer
        self.flatten = nn.Flatten()

        # Linear layers
        output_size_after_flatten = 64 * 78 # Assuming pooling results in a sequence length of 24
        self.fc1 = nn.Linear(output_size_after_flatten, 128)
        self.fc2 = nn.Linear(128, output_size)

        # Dropout layer (after the first linear layer)
        self.dropout = nn.Dropout(0.5) # You can adjust the dropout rate here

    def forward(self, x):
        # Transpose the input
        x = x.transpose(1, 2) # Change from [batch_size, sequence_length, embedding_dim] to [batch_size, embedding_dim, sequence_length]

        # Apply convolutional layers with Batch Normalization
        x1 = self.relu(self.bn1(self.conv1(x)))
        x2 = self.relu(self.bn2(self.conv2(x1)))
        x3 = self.relu(self.bn3(self.conv3(x2)))
        x1 = self.maxpool(x1)
        x2 = self.maxpool(x2)
        x3 = self.maxpool(x3)
        x = torch.cat([x1, x2, x3], dim=1)
        x = self.maxpool(x)

        # Flatten the output
        x = self.flatten(x)

        # Apply linear layers with Dropout
        x = self.relu(self.fc1(x))
        x = self.dropout(x)  # Apply dropout
        x = self.fc2(x)

        return x
In [ ]:
# 3. Training and Evaluation
class Trainer:
    def __init__(self, model, optimizer, criterion, device):
        self.model = model
        self.optimizer = optimizer
        self.criterion = criterion
        self.device = device
        self.train_losses = []
        self.val_losses = []
        self.train_accuracies = []
        self.val_accuracies = []

    def train_step(self, batch):
        self.model.train()
        self.optimizer.zero_grad()
        data, target = batch
        data = data.to(self.device)
        target = target.to(self.device)
        output = self.model(data)
        loss = self.criterion(output, target)
        loss.backward()
        self.optimizer.step()
        return loss.item(), output, target

    def train_epoch(self, train_loader):
        epoch_loss = 0
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        with tqdm(train_loader, unit='batch', leave=False) as tepoch:
            for batch in tepoch:
                loss, output, target = self.train_step(batch)
                epoch_loss += loss
                tepoch.set_description(f'Training Loss: {loss:.4f}')
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()
        self.train_losses.append(epoch_loss / len(train_loader))
        self.train_accuracies.append(correct / total)

    def evaluate(self, test_loader):
        self.model.eval()
        total_loss = 0
        y_true = []
        y_pred = []
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        with torch.no_grad():
            for batch in test_loader:
                data, target = batch
                data = data.to(self.device)
                target = target.to(self.device)
                output = self.model(data)
                loss = self.criterion(output, target)
                total_loss += loss.item()
                y_true.extend(target.tolist())
                y_pred.extend(torch.argmax(output, dim=1).tolist())
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()
        accuracy = accuracy_score(y_true, y_pred)
        precision = precision_score(y_true, y_pred)
        recall = recall_score(y_true, y_pred)
        f1 = f1_score(y_true, y_pred)
        print(f'Test Loss: {total_loss/len(test_loader):.4f}')
        print(f'Accuracy: {accuracy:.4f}')
        print(f'Precision: {precision:.4f}')
        print(f'Recall: {recall:.4f}')
        print(f'F1 Score: {f1:.4f}')
        # Confusion matrix
        cm = confusion_matrix(y_true, y_pred)
        disp = ConfusionMatrixDisplay(confusion_matrix=cm)
        disp.plot()
        plt.show()
        return total_loss/len(test_loader), accuracy, precision, recall, f1

    def train(self, train_loader, val_loader, epochs):
        for epoch in range(epochs):
            print(f"Epoch {epoch+1}")
            self.train_epoch(train_loader)
            val_loss, val_accuracy, val_precision, val_recall, val_f1 = self.evaluate(val_loader)
            self.val_losses.append(val_loss)
            self.val_accuracies.append(val_accuracy)

            # Plot training and validation loss
            plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
            plt.plot(self.train_losses, label='Training Loss')
            plt.plot(self.val_losses, label='Validation Loss')
            plt.xlabel('Epochs')
            plt.ylabel('Loss')
            plt.title('Training and Validation Loss Curves')
            plt.legend()
            plt.show()

            # Plot training and validation accuracy
            plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
            plt.plot(self.train_accuracies, label='Training Accuracy')
            plt.plot(self.val_accuracies, label='Validation Accuracy')
            plt.xlabel('Epochs')
            plt.ylabel('Accuracy')
            plt.title('Training and Validation Accuracy Curves')
            plt.legend()
            plt.show()

            # Report final training and test metrics
            print("Final Training Metrics:")
            self.evaluate(train_loader)
            print("Final Test Metrics:")
            self.evaluate(test_loader)
In [ ]:
def run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate):
    # ... (rest of your code, same as before)
    # Initialize model, optimizer, and loss function
    model = CNN(embedding_dim, output_size).to(device)
    optimizer = optim.Adam(model.parameters(), lr=learning_rate)
    criterion = nn.CrossEntropyLoss() # Using Cross-Entropy Loss
    # Train the model
    trainer = Trainer(model, optimizer, criterion, device)
    trainer.train(train_loader, val_loader, epochs)
In [ ]:
if __name__ == '__main__':
    # Define parameters
    data_path = 'twitter-suicidal-data.csv'
    word2vec_path = "/content/drive/MyDrive/Colab Notebooks/GoogleNews-vectors-negative300.bin"
    embedding_dim = 300
    output_size = 2
    epochs = 10

    # Load dataset
    dataset = TwitterDataset(data_path, word2vec_path)
    train_size = int(0.8 * len(dataset))
    val_size = int(0.1 * len(dataset))
    test_size = len(dataset) - train_size - val_size
    train_dataset, val_dataset, test_dataset = torch.utils.data.random_split(dataset, [train_size, val_size, test_size])

    # Create data loaders
    train_loader = DataLoader(train_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=True)
    val_loader = DataLoader(val_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)
    test_loader = DataLoader(test_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)

    # Choose device (CPU or GPU if available)
    device = torch.device('cuda' if torch.cuda.is_available() else 'cpu')

    # Experiment with different batch sizes and learning rates
    batch_sizes = [16, 32, 64]
    learning_rates = [0.001, 0.0001, 0.00001]
    for batch_size in batch_sizes:
        for learning_rate in learning_rates:
            print(f"Experiment with Batch Size: {batch_size}, Learning Rate: {learning_rate}")
            run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate)
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1
  0%|          | 0/114 [00:00<?, ?batch/s]<ipython-input-11-ed9b6303c5db>:42: UserWarning: Creating a tensor from a list of numpy.ndarrays is extremely slow. Please consider converting the list to a single numpy.ndarray with numpy.array() before converting to a tensor. (Triggered internally at ../torch/csrc/utils/tensor_new.cpp:274.)
  return torch.tensor(embeddings, dtype=torch.float), torch.tensor(intention)
Test Loss: 0.2280
Accuracy: 0.9023
Precision: 0.9738
Recall: 0.8072
F1 Score: 0.8827
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1758
Accuracy: 0.9246
Precision: 0.9682
Recall: 0.8545
F1 Score: 0.9078
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2697
Accuracy: 0.8959
Precision: 0.9570
Recall: 0.8068
F1 Score: 0.8755
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.1988
Accuracy: 0.9111
Precision: 0.9489
Recall: 0.8506
F1 Score: 0.8971
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1245
Accuracy: 0.9479
Precision: 0.9613
Recall: 0.9170
F1 Score: 0.9386
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2188
Accuracy: 0.9014
Precision: 0.9241
Recall: 0.8527
F1 Score: 0.8869
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.1988
Accuracy: 0.9232
Precision: 0.9528
Recall: 0.8747
F1 Score: 0.9121
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0778
Accuracy: 0.9731
Precision: 0.9837
Recall: 0.9539
F1 Score: 0.9686
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2323
Accuracy: 0.9047
Precision: 0.9383
Recall: 0.8454
F1 Score: 0.8895
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2029
Accuracy: 0.9221
Precision: 0.9365
Recall: 0.8892
F1 Score: 0.9122
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0582
Accuracy: 0.9825
Precision: 0.9771
Recall: 0.9826
F1 Score: 0.9799
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2370
Accuracy: 0.9025
Precision: 0.9073
Recall: 0.8744
F1 Score: 0.8905
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2723
Accuracy: 0.9188
Precision: 0.9128
Recall: 0.9084
F1 Score: 0.9106
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0475
Accuracy: 0.9818
Precision: 0.9691
Recall: 0.9896
F1 Score: 0.9792
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3358
Accuracy: 0.8959
Precision: 0.8753
Recall: 0.8986
F1 Score: 0.8868
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.2979
Accuracy: 0.9166
Precision: 0.9165
Recall: 0.8988
F1 Score: 0.9075
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0421
Accuracy: 0.9848
Precision: 0.9716
Recall: 0.9940
F1 Score: 0.9827
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3404
Accuracy: 0.9014
Precision: 0.8821
Recall: 0.9034
F1 Score: 0.8926
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3630
Accuracy: 0.9188
Precision: 0.9252
Recall: 0.8940
F1 Score: 0.9093
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0186
Accuracy: 0.9938
Precision: 0.9900
Recall: 0.9959
F1 Score: 0.9929
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.4575
Accuracy: 0.8992
Precision: 0.9005
Recall: 0.8744
F1 Score: 0.8873
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.3299
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9024
Recall: 0.9133
F1 Score: 0.9078
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0240
Accuracy: 0.9922
Precision: 0.9829
Recall: 0.9994
F1 Score: 0.9911
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3710
Accuracy: 0.9025
Precision: 0.8753
Recall: 0.9155
F1 Score: 0.8949
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.4724
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9225
Recall: 0.8892
F1 Score: 0.9055
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0138
Accuracy: 0.9952
Precision: 0.9928
Recall: 0.9962
F1 Score: 0.9945
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.5578
Accuracy: 0.8949
Precision: 0.8878
Recall: 0.8792
F1 Score: 0.8835
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.4578
Accuracy: 0.9177
Precision: 0.9250
Recall: 0.8916
F1 Score: 0.9080
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0153
Accuracy: 0.9951
Precision: 0.9915
Recall: 0.9972
F1 Score: 0.9943
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.5196
Accuracy: 0.8981
Precision: 0.8905
Recall: 0.8841
F1 Score: 0.8873
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 0.0001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.3319
Accuracy: 0.8375
Precision: 0.8719
Recall: 0.7542
F1 Score: 0.8088
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2885
Accuracy: 0.8729
Precision: 0.9004
Recall: 0.7955
F1 Score: 0.8447
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3255
Accuracy: 0.8488
Precision: 0.8943
Recall: 0.7560
F1 Score: 0.8194
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2399
Accuracy: 0.8880
Precision: 0.9589
Recall: 0.7880
F1 Score: 0.8651
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1907
Accuracy: 0.9195
Precision: 0.9719
Recall: 0.8391
F1 Score: 0.9006
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2875
Accuracy: 0.8861
Precision: 0.9559
Recall: 0.7850
F1 Score: 0.8621
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.2144
Accuracy: 0.9078
Precision: 0.8950
Recall: 0.9036
F1 Score: 0.8993
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1551
Accuracy: 0.9467
Precision: 0.9264
Recall: 0.9530
F1 Score: 0.9395
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2373
Accuracy: 0.9003
Precision: 0.8836
Recall: 0.8986
F1 Score: 0.8910
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2058
Accuracy: 0.9012
Precision: 0.9501
Recall: 0.8265
F1 Score: 0.8840
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0944
Accuracy: 0.9657
Precision: 0.9844
Recall: 0.9359
F1 Score: 0.9596
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2657
Accuracy: 0.8927
Precision: 0.9365
Recall: 0.8188
F1 Score: 0.8737
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2175
Accuracy: 0.9045
Precision: 0.9481
Recall: 0.8361
F1 Score: 0.8886
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0635
Accuracy: 0.9815
Precision: 0.9890
Recall: 0.9681
F1 Score: 0.9785
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2943
Accuracy: 0.9025
Precision: 0.9477
Recall: 0.8309
F1 Score: 0.8855
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.2132
Accuracy: 0.9177
Precision: 0.9106
Recall: 0.9084
F1 Score: 0.9095
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0377
Accuracy: 0.9927
Precision: 0.9890
Recall: 0.9943
F1 Score: 0.9917
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2813
Accuracy: 0.9003
Precision: 0.8949
Recall: 0.8841
F1 Score: 0.8894
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.2619
Accuracy: 0.9078
Precision: 0.9344
Recall: 0.8578
F1 Score: 0.8945
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0224
Accuracy: 0.9959
Precision: 0.9953
Recall: 0.9953
F1 Score: 0.9953
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3747
Accuracy: 0.8916
Precision: 0.9245
Recall: 0.8285
F1 Score: 0.8739
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.3074
Accuracy: 0.9100
Precision: 0.9416
Recall: 0.8554
F1 Score: 0.8965
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0158
Accuracy: 0.9962
Precision: 0.9956
Recall: 0.9956
F1 Score: 0.9956
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.4247
Accuracy: 0.8938
Precision: 0.9272
Recall: 0.8309
F1 Score: 0.8764
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.2887
Accuracy: 0.9133
Precision: 0.9118
Recall: 0.8964
F1 Score: 0.9040
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0104
Accuracy: 0.9977
Precision: 0.9962
Recall: 0.9984
F1 Score: 0.9973
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3869
Accuracy: 0.9003
Precision: 0.8988
Recall: 0.8792
F1 Score: 0.8889
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.4099
Accuracy: 0.9056
Precision: 0.9687
Recall: 0.8193
F1 Score: 0.8877
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0182
Accuracy: 0.9927
Precision: 0.9997
Recall: 0.9836
F1 Score: 0.9916
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.5751
Accuracy: 0.8916
Precision: 0.9539
Recall: 0.7995
F1 Score: 0.8699
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 1e-05
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.3816
Accuracy: 0.8255
Precision: 0.8765
Recall: 0.7181
F1 Score: 0.7894
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3537
Accuracy: 0.8504
Precision: 0.9169
Recall: 0.7210
F1 Score: 0.8073
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3881
Accuracy: 0.8324
Precision: 0.9169
Recall: 0.6932
F1 Score: 0.7895
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.3689
Accuracy: 0.8321
Precision: 0.9043
Recall: 0.7060
F1 Score: 0.7930
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3372
Accuracy: 0.8559
Precision: 0.9491
Recall: 0.7062
F1 Score: 0.8098
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3767
Accuracy: 0.8368
Precision: 0.9402
Recall: 0.6836
F1 Score: 0.7916
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.3607
Accuracy: 0.8375
Precision: 0.9083
Recall: 0.7157
F1 Score: 0.8005
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3244
Accuracy: 0.8603
Precision: 0.9475
Recall: 0.7182
F1 Score: 0.8171
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3648
Accuracy: 0.8346
Precision: 0.9340
Recall: 0.6836
F1 Score: 0.7894
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.3525
Accuracy: 0.8463
Precision: 0.9365
Recall: 0.7108
F1 Score: 0.8082
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3139
Accuracy: 0.8646
Precision: 0.9572
Recall: 0.7204
F1 Score: 0.8221
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3580
Accuracy: 0.8390
Precision: 0.9465
Recall: 0.6836
F1 Score: 0.7938
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.3392
Accuracy: 0.8430
Precision: 0.9072
Recall: 0.7301
F1 Score: 0.8091
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2981
Accuracy: 0.8743
Precision: 0.9388
Recall: 0.7602
F1 Score: 0.8401
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3416
Accuracy: 0.8478
Precision: 0.9365
Recall: 0.7126
F1 Score: 0.8093
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3263
Accuracy: 0.8441
Precision: 0.9099
Recall: 0.7301
F1 Score: 0.8102
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2830
Accuracy: 0.8790
Precision: 0.9400
Recall: 0.7706
F1 Score: 0.8469
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3326
Accuracy: 0.8510
Precision: 0.9399
Recall: 0.7174
F1 Score: 0.8137
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3096
Accuracy: 0.8485
Precision: 0.9262
Recall: 0.7253
F1 Score: 0.8135
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2674
Accuracy: 0.8861
Precision: 0.9538
Recall: 0.7753
F1 Score: 0.8554
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3218
Accuracy: 0.8554
Precision: 0.9519
Recall: 0.7174
F1 Score: 0.8182
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.2915
Accuracy: 0.8562
Precision: 0.9057
Recall: 0.7639
F1 Score: 0.8288
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2506
Accuracy: 0.8950
Precision: 0.9406
Recall: 0.8094
F1 Score: 0.8701
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3053
Accuracy: 0.8686
Precision: 0.9375
Recall: 0.7609
F1 Score: 0.8400
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.2768
Accuracy: 0.8628
Precision: 0.9191
Recall: 0.7663
F1 Score: 0.8357
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2360
Accuracy: 0.9005
Precision: 0.9496
Recall: 0.8141
F1 Score: 0.8767
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2983
Accuracy: 0.8675
Precision: 0.9399
Recall: 0.7560
F1 Score: 0.8380
Epoch 10

Test Loss: 0.2630
Accuracy: 0.8705
Precision: 0.9231
Recall: 0.7807
F1 Score: 0.8460
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2227
Accuracy: 0.9077
Precision: 0.9512
Recall: 0.8302
F1 Score: 0.8866
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2898
Accuracy: 0.8697
Precision: 0.9351
Recall: 0.7657
F1 Score: 0.8420
Experiment with Batch Size: 32, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Test Loss: 0.2901
Accuracy: 0.8705
Precision: 0.9967
Recall: 0.7181
F1 Score: 0.8347
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2206
Accuracy: 0.8957
Precision: 0.9914
Recall: 0.7665
F1 Score: 0.8646
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3273
Accuracy: 0.8675
Precision: 0.9900
Recall: 0.7150
F1 Score: 0.8303
Epoch 2

Test Loss: 0.2034
Accuracy: 0.9144
Precision: 0.9041
Recall: 0.9084
F1 Score: 0.9062
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.1300
Accuracy: 0.9524
Precision: 0.9247
Recall: 0.9694
F1 Score: 0.9465
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2274
Accuracy: 0.8916
Precision: 0.8832
Recall: 0.8768
F1 Score: 0.8800
Epoch 3

Test Loss: 0.1989
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9289
Recall: 0.8819
F1 Score: 0.9048
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0774
Accuracy: 0.9741
Precision: 0.9688
Recall: 0.9716
F1 Score: 0.9702
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2565
Accuracy: 0.9036
Precision: 0.9035
Recall: 0.8816
F1 Score: 0.8924
Epoch 4

Test Loss: 0.2666
Accuracy: 0.9221
Precision: 0.9550
Recall: 0.8699
F1 Score: 0.9105
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0494
Accuracy: 0.9845
Precision: 0.9860
Recall: 0.9782
F1 Score: 0.9821
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.2647
Accuracy: 0.9091
Precision: 0.9254
Recall: 0.8696
F1 Score: 0.8966
Epoch 5

Test Loss: 0.2523
Accuracy: 0.9199
Precision: 0.9500
Recall: 0.8699
F1 Score: 0.9082
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0548
Accuracy: 0.9798
Precision: 0.9800
Recall: 0.9735
F1 Score: 0.9767
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3304
Accuracy: 0.8970
Precision: 0.9000
Recall: 0.8696
F1 Score: 0.8845
Epoch 6

Test Loss: 0.3349
Accuracy: 0.9155
Precision: 0.9333
Recall: 0.8771
F1 Score: 0.9043
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0189
Accuracy: 0.9936
Precision: 0.9927
Recall: 0.9924
F1 Score: 0.9926
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.3942
Accuracy: 0.9025
Precision: 0.9093
Recall: 0.8720
F1 Score: 0.8903
Epoch 7

Test Loss: 0.3703
Accuracy: 0.9133
Precision: 0.9375
Recall: 0.8675
F1 Score: 0.9011
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0199
Accuracy: 0.9937
Precision: 0.9927
Recall: 0.9927
F1 Score: 0.9927
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.4312
Accuracy: 0.9047
Precision: 0.9098
Recall: 0.8768
F1 Score: 0.8930
Epoch 8

Test Loss: 0.4256
Accuracy: 0.9034
Precision: 0.9314
Recall: 0.8506
F1 Score: 0.8892
Final Training Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.0436
Accuracy: 0.9849
Precision: 0.9857
Recall: 0.9795
F1 Score: 0.9826
Final Test Metrics:
Test Loss: 0.5337
Accuracy: 0.9047
Precision: 0.9160
Recall: 0.8696
F1 Score: 0.8922
Epoch 9

Test Loss: 0.3223
Accuracy: 0.9221
Precision: 0.9115
Recall: 0.9181
F1 Score: 0.9148
Final Training Metrics:

with batch normalization and drop out (good) and size = 196¶

In [ ]:
import torch
import torch.nn as nn
import torch.optim as optim
from torch.utils.data import Dataset, DataLoader
from gensim.models import KeyedVectors
import nltk
import numpy as np
import pandas as pd
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
from sklearn.metrics import accuracy_score, precision_score, recall_score, f1_score, confusion_matrix
import string
from sklearn.metrics import ConfusionMatrixDisplay
from tqdm import tqdm
from wordcloud import WordCloud
from sklearn.manifold import TSNE

# 1. Data Preparation and Preprocessing
class TwitterDataset(Dataset):
    def __init__(self, data_path, word2vec_path):
        self.data = self.load_data(data_path)
        self.word2vec = KeyedVectors.load_word2vec_format(word2vec_path, binary=True)
        self.embedding = nn.Embedding.from_pretrained(torch.FloatTensor(self.word2vec.vectors))

    def load_data(self, data_path):
        data = pd.read_csv(data_path, encoding='utf-8')
        return data

    def __len__(self):
        return len(self.data)

    def __getitem__(self, idx):
        tweet = self.data.iloc[idx]['tweet']
        intention = self.data.iloc[idx]['intention']
        tokens = nltk.word_tokenize(tweet)
        # Preprocess text
        processed_tokens = [token.lower() for token in tokens if token.isalpha()]
        stop_words = set(nltk.corpus.stopwords.words('english'))
        processed_tokens = [token for token in processed_tokens if token not in stop_words]
        # Convert tokens to word embeddings
        embeddings = [self.word2vec.get_vector(token)
                       for token in processed_tokens
                       if token in self.word2vec.key_to_index]
        # Handle missing words
        if len(embeddings) < len(processed_tokens):
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (len(processed_tokens) - len(embeddings))
        # Pad or truncate sequences
        max_length = 196  # Adjust if needed
        if len(embeddings) < max_length:
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (max_length - len(embeddings))
        else:
            embeddings = embeddings[:max_length]
        # Convert embeddings to float
        return torch.tensor(embeddings, dtype=torch.float), torch.tensor(intention)

# 2. CNN Model
class CNN(nn.Module):
    def __init__(self, embedding_dim, output_size):
        super(CNN, self).__init__()
        self.embedding_dim = embedding_dim
        self.output_size = output_size

        # Convolutional layers with dynamic padding
        self.conv1 = nn.Conv1d(embedding_dim, 64, kernel_size=3, padding='same')
        self.conv2 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=5, padding='same')
        self.conv3 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=7, padding='same')

        # Batch Normalization layers
        self.bn1 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)
        self.bn2 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)
        self.bn3 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)

        # Activation function
        self.relu = nn.ReLU()

        # Max pooling layer
        self.maxpool = nn.MaxPool1d(kernel_size=2, stride=2)

        # Flatten layer
        self.flatten = nn.Flatten()

        # Linear layers
        self.fc1 = nn.Linear(128 * 147, 128)  # Adjusted input size
        self.fc2 = nn.Linear(128, output_size)

        # Dropout layer
        self.dropout = nn.Dropout(0.5)

    def forward(self, x):
        # Transpose the input
        x = x.transpose(1, 2)

        # Apply convolutional layers with Batch Normalization
        x1 = self.relu(self.bn1(self.conv1(x)))
        x2 = self.relu(self.bn2(self.conv2(x1)))
        x3 = self.relu(self.bn3(self.conv3(x2)))

        # Max pooling
        x1 = self.maxpool(x1)
        x2 = self.maxpool(x2)
        x3 = self.maxpool(x3)

        # Concatenate the output from different convolutional layers
        x = torch.cat([x1, x2, x3], dim=1)

        # Flatten the output
        x = self.flatten(x)

        # Apply linear layers with Dropout
        x = self.relu(self.fc1(x))
        x = self.dropout(x)
        x = self.fc2(x)
        return x

# 3. Training and Evaluation
class Trainer:
    def __init__(self, model, optimizer, criterion, device):
        self.model = model
        self.optimizer = optimizer
        self.criterion = criterion
        self.device = device
        self.train_losses = []
        self.val_losses = []
        self.train_accuracies = []
        self.val_accuracies = []
        self.y_true = []
        self.y_pred = []

    def train_step(self, batch):
        self.model.train()
        self.optimizer.zero_grad()
        data, target = batch
        data = data.to(self.device)
        target = target.to(self.device)
        output = self.model(data)
        loss = self.criterion(output, target)
        loss.backward()
        self.optimizer.step()
        return loss.item(), output, target

    def train_epoch(self, train_loader):
        epoch_loss = 0
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        with tqdm(train_loader, unit='batch', leave=False) as tepoch:
            for batch in tepoch:
                loss, output, target = self.train_step(batch)
                epoch_loss += loss
                tepoch.set_description(f'Training Loss: {loss:.4f}')
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()
        self.train_losses.append(epoch_loss / len(train_loader))
        self.train_accuracies.append(correct / total)

    def evaluate(self, data_loader, mode='Test'):
        self.model.eval()
        total_loss = 0
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        y_true = []
        y_pred = []

        with torch.no_grad():
            for batch in data_loader:
                data, target = batch
                data = data.to(self.device)
                target = target.to(self.device)
                output = self.model(data)
                loss = self.criterion(output, target)
                total_loss += loss.item()
                y_true.extend(target.tolist())
                y_pred.extend(torch.argmax(output, dim=1).tolist())
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()

        accuracy = accuracy_score(y_true, y_pred)
        precision = precision_score(y_true, y_pred)
        recall = recall_score(y_true, y_pred)
        f1 = f1_score(y_true, y_pred)

        print(f'{mode} Loss: {total_loss/len(data_loader):.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} Accuracy: {accuracy:.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} Precision: {precision:.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} Recall: {recall:.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} F1 Score: {f1:.4f}')

        # Confusion matrix
        cm = confusion_matrix(y_true, y_pred)
        disp = ConfusionMatrixDisplay(confusion_matrix=cm)
        disp.plot()
        plt.title(f'{mode} Confusion Matrix')
        plt.show()

        return total_loss/len(data_loader), accuracy, precision, recall, f1

    def train(self, train_loader, val_loader, epochs):
        for epoch in range(epochs):
            print(f"Epoch {epoch+1}")
            self.train_epoch(train_loader)
            _, _, _, _, _ = self.evaluate(train_loader, mode='Train')
            val_loss, val_accuracy, _, _, _ = self.evaluate(val_loader, mode='Validation')
            self.val_losses.append(val_loss)
            self.val_accuracies.append(val_accuracy)

            # Plot every 10 epochs
            if (epoch + 1) % 10 == 0:
                self.plot_metrics()

    def plot_metrics(self):
        # Plot training and validation loss
        plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
        plt.plot(self.train_losses, label='Training Loss')
        plt.plot(self.val_losses, label='Validation Loss')
        plt.xlabel('Epochs')
        plt.ylabel('Loss')
        plt.title('Training and Validation Loss Curves')
        plt.legend()
        plt.show()

        # Plot training and validation accuracy
        plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
        plt.plot(self.train_accuracies, label='Training Accuracy')
        plt.plot(self.val_accuracies, label='Validation Accuracy')
        plt.xlabel('Epochs')
        plt.ylabel('Accuracy')
        plt.title('Training and Validation Accuracy Curves')
        plt.legend()
        plt.show()

def run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate):
    # Initialize model, optimizer, and loss function
    model = CNN(embedding_dim, output_size).to(device)
    optimizer = optim.Adam(model.parameters(), lr=learning_rate)
    criterion = nn.CrossEntropyLoss() # Using Cross-Entropy Loss
    # Train the model
    trainer = Trainer(model, optimizer, criterion, device)
    trainer.train(train_loader, val_loader, epochs)

if __name__ == '__main__':
    # Define parameters
    data_path = 'twitter-suicidal-data.csv'
    word2vec_path = "/content/drive/MyDrive/Colab Notebooks/GoogleNews-vectors-negative300.bin"
    embedding_dim = 300
    output_size = 2
    epochs = 10
    # Load dataset
    dataset = TwitterDataset(data_path, word2vec_path)
    train_size = int(0.8 * len(dataset))
    val_size = int(0.1 * len(dataset))
    test_size = len(dataset) - train_size - val_size
    train_dataset, val_dataset, test_dataset = torch.utils.data.random_split(dataset, [train_size, val_size, test_size])
    # Create data loaders
    train_loader = DataLoader(train_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=True)
    val_loader = DataLoader(val_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)
    test_loader = DataLoader(test_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)
    # Choose device (CPU or GPU if available)
    device = torch.device('cuda' if torch.cuda.is_available() else 'cpu')
    # Experiment with different batch sizes and learning rates
    batch_sizes = [16, 32, 64]
    # learning_rates = [0.001, 0.0001, 0.00001]
    learning_rates = [0.001]
    for batch_size in batch_sizes:
        for learning_rate in learning_rates:
            print(f"Experiment with Batch Size: {batch_size}, Learning Rate: {learning_rate}")
            run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate)

    # Additional Visualizations
    # Histogram of Tweet Lengths
    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
    plt.hist([len(nltk.word_tokenize(tweet)) for tweet in dataset.data['tweet']], bins=20)
    plt.xlabel('Tweet Length (Number of Tokens)')
    plt.ylabel('Frequency')
    plt.title('Distribution of Tweet Lengths')
    plt.show()

    # Word Cloud
    suicidal_tweets = " ".join(dataset.data[dataset.data['intention'] == 1]['tweet'])
    non_suicidal_tweets = " ".join(dataset.data[dataset.data['intention'] == 0]['tweet'])

    wordcloud_suicidal = WordCloud(width=800, height=400, background_color='white').generate(suicidal_tweets)
    wordcloud_non_suicidal = WordCloud(width=800, height=400, background_color='white').generate(non_suicidal_tweets)

    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
    plt.imshow(wordcloud_suicidal, interpolation='bilinear')
    plt.axis("off")
    plt.title('Word Cloud - Suicidal Tweets')
    plt.show()

    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
    plt.imshow(wordcloud_non_suicidal, interpolation='bilinear')
    plt.axis("off")
    plt.title('Word Cloud - Non-Suicidal Tweets')
    plt.show()

    # t-SNE Visualization of Embeddings
    embeddings = dataset.word2vec.vectors
    tsne = TSNE(n_components=2, random_state=42)
    embeddings_2d = tsne.fit_transform(embeddings)

    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 10))
    plt.scatter(embeddings_2d[:, 0], embeddings_2d[:, 1])
    plt.title('t-SNE Visualization of Word Embeddings')
    plt.show()
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Train Loss: 0.2094
Train Accuracy: 0.9086
Train Precision: 0.9356
Train Recall: 0.8508
Train F1 Score: 0.8912
Validation Loss: 0.2205
Validation Accuracy: 0.9012
Validation Precision: 0.9257
Validation Recall: 0.8351
Validation F1 Score: 0.8780
Epoch 2

Train Loss: 0.1713
Train Accuracy: 0.9286
Train Precision: 0.8993
Train Recall: 0.9433
Train F1 Score: 0.9208
Validation Loss: 0.2197
Validation Accuracy: 0.9056
Validation Precision: 0.8738
Validation Recall: 0.9098
Validation F1 Score: 0.8914
Epoch 3

Train Loss: 0.0934
Train Accuracy: 0.9674
Train Precision: 0.9641
Train Recall: 0.9617
Train F1 Score: 0.9629
Validation Loss: 0.1853
Validation Accuracy: 0.9319
Validation Precision: 0.9312
Validation Recall: 0.9072
Validation F1 Score: 0.9191
Epoch 4

Train Loss: 0.0862
Train Accuracy: 0.9729
Train Precision: 0.9651
Train Recall: 0.9735
Train F1 Score: 0.9693
Validation Loss: 0.1873
Validation Accuracy: 0.9232
Validation Precision: 0.9274
Validation Recall: 0.8892
Validation F1 Score: 0.9079
Epoch 5

Train Loss: 0.0970
Train Accuracy: 0.9545
Train Precision: 0.9891
Train Recall: 0.9066
Train F1 Score: 0.9461
Validation Loss: 0.2526
Validation Accuracy: 0.9210
Validation Precision: 0.9702
Validation Recall: 0.8402
Validation F1 Score: 0.9006
Epoch 6

Train Loss: 0.0619
Train Accuracy: 0.9760
Train Precision: 0.9732
Train Recall: 0.9723
Train F1 Score: 0.9727
Validation Loss: 0.2367
Validation Accuracy: 0.9297
Validation Precision: 0.9355
Validation Recall: 0.8969
Validation F1 Score: 0.9158
Epoch 7

Train Loss: 0.0421
Train Accuracy: 0.9852
Train Precision: 0.9902
Train Recall: 0.9760
Train F1 Score: 0.9831
Validation Loss: 0.2659
Validation Accuracy: 0.9352
Validation Precision: 0.9582
Validation Recall: 0.8866
Validation F1 Score: 0.9210
Epoch 8

Train Loss: 0.0921
Train Accuracy: 0.9652
Train Precision: 0.9956
Train Recall: 0.9249
Train F1 Score: 0.9590
Validation Loss: 0.4669
Validation Accuracy: 0.9166
Validation Precision: 0.9815
Validation Recall: 0.8196
Validation F1 Score: 0.8933
Epoch 9

Train Loss: 0.0282
Train Accuracy: 0.9896
Train Precision: 0.9786
Train Recall: 0.9981
Train F1 Score: 0.9883
Validation Loss: 0.3765
Validation Accuracy: 0.9221
Validation Precision: 0.8953
Validation Recall: 0.9253
Validation F1 Score: 0.9100
Epoch 10

Train Loss: 0.0269
Train Accuracy: 0.9890
Train Precision: 0.9900
Train Recall: 0.9851
Train F1 Score: 0.9875
Validation Loss: 0.3970
Validation Accuracy: 0.9254
Validation Precision: 0.9324
Validation Recall: 0.8892
Validation F1 Score: 0.9103
Experiment with Batch Size: 32, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Train Loss: 0.1839
Train Accuracy: 0.9224
Train Precision: 0.9472
Train Recall: 0.8723
Train F1 Score: 0.9082
Validation Loss: 0.2007
Validation Accuracy: 0.9111
Validation Precision: 0.9300
Validation Recall: 0.8557
Validation F1 Score: 0.8913
Epoch 2

Train Loss: 0.1271
Train Accuracy: 0.9468
Train Precision: 0.9639
Train Recall: 0.9134
Train F1 Score: 0.9380
Validation Loss: 0.1825
Validation Accuracy: 0.9243
Validation Precision: 0.9443
Validation Recall: 0.8737
Validation F1 Score: 0.9076
Epoch 3

Train Loss: 0.1266
Train Accuracy: 0.9437
Train Precision: 0.9765
Train Recall: 0.8935
Train F1 Score: 0.9332
Validation Loss: 0.2239
Validation Accuracy: 0.9199
Validation Precision: 0.9730
Validation Recall: 0.8351
Validation F1 Score: 0.8988
Epoch 4

Train Loss: 0.0622
Train Accuracy: 0.9742
Train Precision: 0.9794
Train Recall: 0.9617
Train F1 Score: 0.9705
Validation Loss: 0.2651
Validation Accuracy: 0.9297
Validation Precision: 0.9451
Validation Recall: 0.8866
Validation F1 Score: 0.9149
Epoch 5

Train Loss: 0.0413
Train Accuracy: 0.9862
Train Precision: 0.9770
Train Recall: 0.9919
Train F1 Score: 0.9844
Validation Loss: 0.2465
Validation Accuracy: 0.9210
Validation Precision: 0.9115
Validation Recall: 0.9021
Validation F1 Score: 0.9067
Epoch 6

Train Loss: 0.0364
Train Accuracy: 0.9867
Train Precision: 0.9927
Train Recall: 0.9770
Train F1 Score: 0.9848
Validation Loss: 0.3278
Validation Accuracy: 0.9188
Validation Precision: 0.9460
Validation Recall: 0.8582
Validation F1 Score: 0.9000
Epoch 7

Train Loss: 0.0446
Train Accuracy: 0.9819
Train Precision: 0.9990
Train Recall: 0.9598
Train F1 Score: 0.9790
Validation Loss: 0.3474
Validation Accuracy: 0.9297
Validation Precision: 0.9737
Validation Recall: 0.8582
Validation F1 Score: 0.9123
Epoch 8

Train Loss: 0.0861
Train Accuracy: 0.9687
Train Precision: 0.9362
Train Recall: 0.9969
Train F1 Score: 0.9656
Validation Loss: 0.4532
Validation Accuracy: 0.8968
Validation Precision: 0.8435
Validation Recall: 0.9304
Validation F1 Score: 0.8848
Epoch 9

Train Loss: 0.0202
Train Accuracy: 0.9929
Train Precision: 0.9873
Train Recall: 0.9966
Train F1 Score: 0.9919
Validation Loss: 0.3369
Validation Accuracy: 0.9177
Validation Precision: 0.8942
Validation Recall: 0.9149
Validation F1 Score: 0.9045
Epoch 10

Train Loss: 0.0169
Train Accuracy: 0.9918
Train Precision: 0.9959
Train Recall: 0.9854
Train F1 Score: 0.9906
Validation Loss: 0.4024
Validation Accuracy: 0.9221
Validation Precision: 0.9415
Validation Recall: 0.8711
Validation F1 Score: 0.9050
Experiment with Batch Size: 64, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Train Loss: 0.2018
Train Accuracy: 0.9143
Train Precision: 0.9486
Train Recall: 0.8514
Train F1 Score: 0.8974
Validation Loss: 0.2163
Validation Accuracy: 0.8957
Validation Precision: 0.9296
Validation Recall: 0.8170
Validation F1 Score: 0.8697
Epoch 2

Train Loss: 0.1457
Train Accuracy: 0.9375
Train Precision: 0.9808
Train Recall: 0.8751
Train F1 Score: 0.9250
Validation Loss: 0.1851
Validation Accuracy: 0.9210
Validation Precision: 0.9702
Validation Recall: 0.8402
Validation F1 Score: 0.9006
Epoch 3

Train Loss: 0.1002
Train Accuracy: 0.9607
Train Precision: 0.9775
Train Recall: 0.9321
Train F1 Score: 0.9542
Validation Loss: 0.1945
Validation Accuracy: 0.9265
Validation Precision: 0.9496
Validation Recall: 0.8737
Validation F1 Score: 0.9101
Epoch 4

Train Loss: 0.1040
Train Accuracy: 0.9556
Train Precision: 0.9336
Train Recall: 0.9679
Train F1 Score: 0.9505
Validation Loss: 0.2133
Validation Accuracy: 0.9144
Validation Precision: 0.9016
Validation Recall: 0.8969
Validation F1 Score: 0.8992
Epoch 5

Train Loss: 0.0551
Train Accuracy: 0.9819
Train Precision: 0.9661
Train Recall: 0.9938
Train F1 Score: 0.9797
Validation Loss: 0.2176
Validation Accuracy: 0.9221
Validation Precision: 0.9013
Validation Recall: 0.9175
Validation F1 Score: 0.9093
Epoch 6

Train Loss: 0.0604
Train Accuracy: 0.9766
Train Precision: 0.9932
Train Recall: 0.9533
Train F1 Score: 0.9728
Validation Loss: 0.3251
Validation Accuracy: 0.9166
Validation Precision: 0.9588
Validation Recall: 0.8402
Validation F1 Score: 0.8956
Epoch 7

Train Loss: 0.0369
Train Accuracy: 0.9893
Train Precision: 0.9863
Train Recall: 0.9894
Train F1 Score: 0.9879
Validation Loss: 0.2634
Validation Accuracy: 0.9297
Validation Precision: 0.9263
Validation Recall: 0.9072
Validation F1 Score: 0.9167
Epoch 8

Train Loss: 0.0304
Train Accuracy: 0.9888
Train Precision: 0.9783
Train Recall: 0.9966
Train F1 Score: 0.9873
Validation Loss: 0.2832
Validation Accuracy: 0.9166
Validation Precision: 0.8900
Validation Recall: 0.9175
Validation F1 Score: 0.9036
Epoch 9

Train Loss: 0.0238
Train Accuracy: 0.9914
Train Precision: 0.9910
Train Recall: 0.9894
Train F1 Score: 0.9902
Validation Loss: 0.2715
Validation Accuracy: 0.9221
Validation Precision: 0.9249
Validation Recall: 0.8892
Validation F1 Score: 0.9067
Epoch 10

Train Loss: 0.0156
Train Accuracy: 0.9944
Train Precision: 0.9969
Train Recall: 0.9903
Train F1 Score: 0.9936
Validation Loss: 0.5321
Validation Accuracy: 0.9243
Validation Precision: 0.9493
Validation Recall: 0.8686
Validation F1 Score: 0.9071

test¶

In [ ]:
import torch
import torch.nn as nn
import torch.optim as optim
from torch.utils.data import Dataset, DataLoader
from gensim.models import KeyedVectors
import nltk
import numpy as np
import pandas as pd
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
from sklearn.metrics import accuracy_score, precision_score, recall_score, f1_score, confusion_matrix
import string
from sklearn.metrics import ConfusionMatrixDisplay
from tqdm import tqdm
from wordcloud import WordCloud
from sklearn.manifold import TSNE

# 1. Data Preparation and Preprocessing
class TwitterDataset(Dataset):
    def __init__(self, data_path, word2vec_path):
        self.data = self.load_data(data_path)
        self.word2vec = KeyedVectors.load_word2vec_format(word2vec_path, binary=True)
        self.embedding = nn.Embedding.from_pretrained(torch.FloatTensor(self.word2vec.vectors))

    def load_data(self, data_path):
        data = pd.read_csv(data_path, encoding='utf-8')
        return data

    def __len__(self):
        return len(self.data)

    def __getitem__(self, idx):
        tweet = self.data.iloc[idx]['tweet']
        intention = self.data.iloc[idx]['intention']
        tokens = nltk.word_tokenize(tweet)
        # Preprocess text
        processed_tokens = [token.lower() for token in tokens if token.isalpha()]
        stop_words = set(nltk.corpus.stopwords.words('english'))
        processed_tokens = [token for token in processed_tokens if token not in stop_words]
        # Convert tokens to word embeddings
        embeddings = [self.word2vec.get_vector(token)
                       for token in processed_tokens
                       if token in self.word2vec.key_to_index]
        # Handle missing words
        if len(embeddings) < len(processed_tokens):
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (len(processed_tokens) - len(embeddings))
        # Pad or truncate sequences
        max_length = 196  # Adjust if needed
        if len(embeddings) < max_length:
            embeddings += [np.zeros(self.word2vec.vector_size)] * (max_length - len(embeddings))
        else:
            embeddings = embeddings[:max_length]
        # Convert embeddings to float
        return torch.tensor(embeddings, dtype=torch.float), torch.tensor(intention)

# 2. CNN Model
class CNN(nn.Module):
    def __init__(self, embedding_dim, output_size):
        super(CNN, self).__init__()
        self.embedding_dim = embedding_dim
        self.output_size = output_size

        # Convolutional layers with dynamic padding
        self.conv1 = nn.Conv1d(embedding_dim, 64, kernel_size=3, padding='same')
        self.conv2 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=5, padding='same')
        self.conv3 = nn.Conv1d(64, 64, kernel_size=7, padding='same')

        # Batch Normalization layers
        self.bn1 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)
        self.bn2 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)
        self.bn3 = nn.BatchNorm1d(64)

        # Activation function
        self.relu = nn.ReLU()

        # Max pooling layer
        self.maxpool = nn.MaxPool1d(kernel_size=2, stride=2)

        # Flatten layer
        self.flatten = nn.Flatten()

        # Linear layers
        self.fc1 = nn.Linear(128 * 147, 128)  # Adjusted input size
        self.fc2 = nn.Linear(128, output_size)

        # Dropout layer
        self.dropout = nn.Dropout(0.5)

    def forward(self, x):
        # Transpose the input
        x = x.transpose(1, 2)

        # Apply convolutional layers with Batch Normalization
        x1 = self.relu(self.bn1(self.conv1(x)))
        x2 = self.relu(self.bn2(self.conv2(x1)))
        x3 = self.relu(self.bn3(self.conv3(x2)))

        # Max pooling
        x1 = self.maxpool(x1)
        x2 = self.maxpool(x2)
        x3 = self.maxpool(x3)

        # Concatenate the output from different convolutional layers
        x = torch.cat([x1, x2, x3], dim=1)

        # Flatten the output
        x = self.flatten(x)

        # Apply linear layers with Dropout
        x = self.relu(self.fc1(x))
        x = self.dropout(x)
        x = self.fc2(x)
        return x

# 3. Training and Evaluation
class Trainer:
    def __init__(self, model, optimizer, criterion, device):
        self.model = model
        self.optimizer = optimizer
        self.criterion = criterion
        self.device = device
        self.train_losses = []
        self.val_losses = []
        self.train_accuracies = []
        self.val_accuracies = []
        self.y_true = []
        self.y_pred = []

    def train_step(self, batch):
        self.model.train()
        self.optimizer.zero_grad()
        data, target = batch
        data = data.to(self.device)
        target = target.to(self.device)
        output = self.model(data)
        loss = self.criterion(output, target)
        loss.backward()
        self.optimizer.step()
        return loss.item(), output, target

    def train_epoch(self, train_loader):
        epoch_loss = 0
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        with tqdm(train_loader, unit='batch', leave=False) as tepoch:
            for batch in tepoch:
                loss, output, target = self.train_step(batch)
                epoch_loss += loss
                tepoch.set_description(f'Training Loss: {loss:.4f}')
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()
        self.train_losses.append(epoch_loss / len(train_loader))
        self.train_accuracies.append(correct / total)

    def evaluate(self, data_loader, mode='Test'):
        self.model.eval()
        total_loss = 0
        correct = 0
        total = 0
        y_true = []
        y_pred = []

        with torch.no_grad():
            for batch in data_loader:
                data, target = batch
                data = data.to(self.device)
                target = target.to(self.device)
                output = self.model(data)
                loss = self.criterion(output, target)
                total_loss += loss.item()
                y_true.extend(target.tolist())
                y_pred.extend(torch.argmax(output, dim=1).tolist())
                total += target.size(0)
                correct += (torch.argmax(output, dim=1) == target).sum().item()

        accuracy = accuracy_score(y_true, y_pred)
        precision = precision_score(y_true, y_pred)
        recall = recall_score(y_true, y_pred)
        f1 = f1_score(y_true, y_pred)

        print(f'{mode} Loss: {total_loss/len(data_loader):.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} Accuracy: {accuracy:.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} Precision: {precision:.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} Recall: {recall:.4f}')
        print(f'{mode} F1 Score: {f1:.4f}')

        # Confusion matrix
        cm = confusion_matrix(y_true, y_pred)
        disp = ConfusionMatrixDisplay(confusion_matrix=cm)
        disp.plot()
        plt.title(f'{mode} Confusion Matrix')
        plt.show()

        return total_loss/len(data_loader), accuracy, precision, recall, f1

    def train(self, train_loader, val_loader, epochs):
        for epoch in range(epochs):
            print(f"Epoch {epoch+1}")
            self.train_epoch(train_loader)
            _, _, _, _, _ = self.evaluate(train_loader, mode='Train')
            val_loss, val_accuracy, _, _, _ = self.evaluate(val_loader, mode='Validation')
            self.val_losses.append(val_loss)
            self.val_accuracies.append(val_accuracy)

            # Plot every 10 epochs
            if (epoch + 1) % 10 == 0:
                self.plot_metrics()

    def plot_metrics(self):
        # Plot training and validation loss
        plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
        plt.plot(self.train_losses, label='Training Loss')
        plt.plot(self.val_losses, label='Validation Loss')
        plt.xlabel('Epochs')
        plt.ylabel('Loss')
        plt.title('Training and Validation Loss Curves')
        plt.legend()
        plt.show()

        # Plot training and validation accuracy
        plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
        plt.plot(self.train_accuracies, label='Training Accuracy')
        plt.plot(self.val_accuracies, label='Validation Accuracy')
        plt.xlabel('Epochs')
        plt.ylabel('Accuracy')
        plt.title('Training and Validation Accuracy Curves')
        plt.legend()
        plt.show()

def run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate):
    # Initialize model, optimizer, and loss function
    model = CNN(embedding_dim, output_size).to(device)
    optimizer = optim.Adam(model.parameters(), lr=learning_rate)
    criterion = nn.CrossEntropyLoss() # Using Cross-Entropy Loss
    # Train the model
    trainer = Trainer(model, optimizer, criterion, device)
    trainer.train(train_loader, val_loader, epochs)

if __name__ == '__main__':
    # Define parameters
    data_path = 'twitter-suicidal-data.csv'
    word2vec_path = "/content/drive/MyDrive/Colab Notebooks/GoogleNews-vectors-negative300.bin"
    embedding_dim = 300
    output_size = 2
    epochs = 10
    # Load dataset
    dataset = TwitterDataset(data_path, word2vec_path)
    train_size = int(0.8 * len(dataset))
    val_size = int(0.1 * len(dataset))
    test_size = len(dataset) - train_size - val_size
    train_dataset, val_dataset, test_dataset = torch.utils.data.random_split(dataset, [train_size, val_size, test_size])
    # Create data loaders
    train_loader = DataLoader(train_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=True)
    val_loader = DataLoader(val_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)
    test_loader = DataLoader(test_dataset, batch_size=64, shuffle=False)
    # Choose device (CPU or GPU if available)
    device = torch.device('cuda' if torch.cuda.is_available() else 'cpu')
    print(device)
    # Experiment with different batch sizes and learning rates
    batch_sizes = [16, 32, 64]
    # learning_rates = [0.001, 0.0001, 0.00001]
    learning_rates = [0.001]
    for batch_size in batch_sizes:
        for learning_rate in learning_rates:
            print(f"Experiment with Batch Size: {batch_size}, Learning Rate: {learning_rate}")
            run_experiment(batch_size, learning_rate)

    # Additional Visualizations
    # Histogram of Tweet Lengths
    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
    plt.hist([len(nltk.word_tokenize(tweet)) for tweet in dataset.data['tweet']], bins=20)
    plt.xlabel('Tweet Length (Number of Tokens)')
    plt.ylabel('Frequency')
    plt.title('Distribution of Tweet Lengths')
    plt.show()

    # Word Cloud
    suicidal_tweets = " ".join(dataset.data[dataset.data['intention'] == 1]['tweet'])
    non_suicidal_tweets = " ".join(dataset.data[dataset.data['intention'] == 0]['tweet'])

    wordcloud_suicidal = WordCloud(width=800, height=400, background_color='white').generate(suicidal_tweets)
    wordcloud_non_suicidal = WordCloud(width=800, height=400, background_color='white').generate(non_suicidal_tweets)

    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
    plt.imshow(wordcloud_suicidal, interpolation='bilinear')
    plt.axis("off")
    plt.title('Word Cloud - Suicidal Tweets')
    plt.show()

    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 5))
    plt.imshow(wordcloud_non_suicidal, interpolation='bilinear')
    plt.axis("off")
    plt.title('Word Cloud - Non-Suicidal Tweets')
    plt.show()

    # t-SNE Visualization of Embeddings
    embeddings = dataset.word2vec.vectors
    tsne = TSNE(n_components=2, random_state=42)
    embeddings_2d = tsne.fit_transform(embeddings)

    plt.figure(figsize=(10, 10))
    plt.scatter(embeddings_2d[:, 0], embeddings_2d[:, 1])
    plt.title('t-SNE Visualization of Word Embeddings')
    plt.show()
Experiment with Batch Size: 16, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1
  0%|          | 0/114 [00:00<?, ?batch/s]<ipython-input-9-8d676640dcdf>:53: UserWarning: Creating a tensor from a list of numpy.ndarrays is extremely slow. Please consider converting the list to a single numpy.ndarray with numpy.array() before converting to a tensor. (Triggered internally at ../torch/csrc/utils/tensor_new.cpp:274.)
  return torch.tensor(embeddings, dtype=torch.float), torch.tensor(intention)
Train Loss: 0.2106
Train Accuracy: 0.9080
Train Precision: 0.8960
Train Recall: 0.8918
Train F1 Score: 0.8939
Validation Loss: 0.2278
Validation Accuracy: 0.9089
Validation Precision: 0.9043
Validation Recall: 0.8979
Validation F1 Score: 0.9011
Epoch 2

Train Loss: 0.1870
Train Accuracy: 0.9034
Train Precision: 0.9897
Train Recall: 0.7858
Train F1 Score: 0.8760
Validation Loss: 0.2412
Validation Accuracy: 0.8924
Validation Precision: 0.9764
Validation Recall: 0.7862
Validation F1 Score: 0.8711
Epoch 3

Train Loss: 0.1377
Train Accuracy: 0.9453
Train Precision: 0.9746
Train Recall: 0.8975
Train F1 Score: 0.9345
Validation Loss: 0.2077
Validation Accuracy: 0.9155
Validation Precision: 0.9343
Validation Recall: 0.8789
Validation F1 Score: 0.9058
Epoch 4

Train Loss: 0.0842
Train Accuracy: 0.9700
Train Precision: 0.9567
Train Recall: 0.9751
Train F1 Score: 0.9658
Validation Loss: 0.1818
Validation Accuracy: 0.9254
Validation Precision: 0.9021
Validation Recall: 0.9406
Validation F1 Score: 0.9209
Epoch 5

Train Loss: 0.1425
Train Accuracy: 0.9490
Train Precision: 0.9011
Train Recall: 0.9915
Train F1 Score: 0.9441
Validation Loss: 0.3594
Validation Accuracy: 0.8968
Validation Precision: 0.8428
Validation Recall: 0.9549
Validation F1 Score: 0.8953
Epoch 6

Train Loss: 0.0360
Train Accuracy: 0.9896
Train Precision: 0.9939
Train Recall: 0.9820
Train F1 Score: 0.9879
Validation Loss: 0.2752
Validation Accuracy: 0.9243
Validation Precision: 0.9356
Validation Recall: 0.8979
Validation F1 Score: 0.9164
Epoch 7

Train Loss: 0.0336
Train Accuracy: 0.9926
Train Precision: 0.9851
Train Recall: 0.9981
Train F1 Score: 0.9915
Validation Loss: 0.2506
Validation Accuracy: 0.9144
Validation Precision: 0.8998
Validation Recall: 0.9169
Validation F1 Score: 0.9082
Epoch 8

Train Loss: 0.0904
Train Accuracy: 0.9687
Train Precision: 0.9950
Train Recall: 0.9328
Train F1 Score: 0.9629
Validation Loss: 0.5885
Validation Accuracy: 0.9056
Validation Precision: 0.9491
Validation Recall: 0.8409
Validation F1 Score: 0.8917
Epoch 9

Train Loss: 0.0688
Train Accuracy: 0.9741
Train Precision: 0.9967
Train Recall: 0.9435
Train F1 Score: 0.9694
Validation Loss: 0.5094
Validation Accuracy: 0.9144
Validation Precision: 0.9623
Validation Recall: 0.8480
Validation F1 Score: 0.9015
Epoch 10

Train Loss: 0.0807
Train Accuracy: 0.9708
Train Precision: 0.9383
Train Recall: 0.9984
Train F1 Score: 0.9674
Validation Loss: 0.4738
Validation Accuracy: 0.8946
Validation Precision: 0.8337
Validation Recall: 0.9644
Validation F1 Score: 0.8943
Experiment with Batch Size: 32, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Train Loss: 0.1812
Train Accuracy: 0.9205
Train Precision: 0.9423
Train Recall: 0.8703
Train F1 Score: 0.9049
Validation Loss: 0.2130
Validation Accuracy: 0.9089
Validation Precision: 0.9401
Validation Recall: 0.8575
Validation F1 Score: 0.8969
Epoch 2

Train Loss: 0.1343
Train Accuracy: 0.9493
Train Precision: 0.9648
Train Recall: 0.9167
Train F1 Score: 0.9401
Validation Loss: 0.2014
Validation Accuracy: 0.9155
Validation Precision: 0.9257
Validation Recall: 0.8884
Validation F1 Score: 0.9067
Epoch 3

Train Loss: 0.1088
Train Accuracy: 0.9619
Train Precision: 0.9348
Train Recall: 0.9808
Train F1 Score: 0.9572
Validation Loss: 0.2298
Validation Accuracy: 0.9012
Validation Precision: 0.8686
Validation Recall: 0.9264
Validation F1 Score: 0.8966
Epoch 4

Train Loss: 0.0898
Train Accuracy: 0.9623
Train Precision: 0.9912
Train Recall: 0.9215
Train F1 Score: 0.9550
Validation Loss: 0.2628
Validation Accuracy: 0.9155
Validation Precision: 0.9649
Validation Recall: 0.8480
Validation F1 Score: 0.9027
Epoch 5

Train Loss: 0.0455
Train Accuracy: 0.9844
Train Precision: 0.9860
Train Recall: 0.9779
Train F1 Score: 0.9819
Validation Loss: 0.2785
Validation Accuracy: 0.9243
Validation Precision: 0.9335
Validation Recall: 0.9002
Validation F1 Score: 0.9166
Epoch 6

Train Loss: 0.0599
Train Accuracy: 0.9724
Train Precision: 0.9963
Train Recall: 0.9401
Train F1 Score: 0.9674
Validation Loss: 0.2466
Validation Accuracy: 0.9232
Validation Precision: 0.9655
Validation Recall: 0.8646
Validation F1 Score: 0.9123
Epoch 7

Train Loss: 0.0268
Train Accuracy: 0.9915
Train Precision: 0.9856
Train Recall: 0.9950
Train F1 Score: 0.9903
Validation Loss: 0.3088
Validation Accuracy: 0.9188
Validation Precision: 0.9007
Validation Recall: 0.9264
Validation F1 Score: 0.9133
Epoch 8

Train Loss: 0.0392
Train Accuracy: 0.9853
Train Precision: 0.9955
Train Recall: 0.9707
Train F1 Score: 0.9829
Validation Loss: 0.4058
Validation Accuracy: 0.9067
Validation Precision: 0.9492
Validation Recall: 0.8432
Validation F1 Score: 0.8931
Epoch 9

Train Loss: 0.0473
Train Accuracy: 0.9805
Train Precision: 0.9970
Train Recall: 0.9580
Train F1 Score: 0.9772
Validation Loss: 0.4732
Validation Accuracy: 0.9100
Validation Precision: 0.9593
Validation Recall: 0.8409
Validation F1 Score: 0.8962
Epoch 10

Train Loss: 0.0097
Train Accuracy: 0.9973
Train Precision: 0.9962
Train Recall: 0.9975
Train F1 Score: 0.9968
Validation Loss: 0.4457
Validation Accuracy: 0.9286
Validation Precision: 0.9384
Validation Recall: 0.9050
Validation F1 Score: 0.9214
Experiment with Batch Size: 64, Learning Rate: 0.001
Epoch 1

Train Loss: 0.1911
Train Accuracy: 0.9146
Train Precision: 0.9196
Train Recall: 0.8804
Train F1 Score: 0.8996
Validation Loss: 0.2207
Validation Accuracy: 0.9001
Validation Precision: 0.9005
Validation Recall: 0.8812
Validation F1 Score: 0.8908
Epoch 2

Train Loss: 0.1778
Train Accuracy: 0.9102
Train Precision: 0.9941
Train Recall: 0.7981
Train F1 Score: 0.8854
Validation Loss: 0.2467
Validation Accuracy: 0.8935
Validation Precision: 0.9880
Validation Recall: 0.7791
Validation F1 Score: 0.8712
Epoch 3

Train Loss: 0.1067
Train Accuracy: 0.9560
Train Precision: 0.9395
Train Recall: 0.9606
Train F1 Score: 0.9499
Validation Loss: 0.2077
Validation Accuracy: 0.9177
Validation Precision: 0.8932
Validation Recall: 0.9335
Validation F1 Score: 0.9129
Epoch 4

Train Loss: 0.0672
Train Accuracy: 0.9767
Train Precision: 0.9873
Train Recall: 0.9587
Train F1 Score: 0.9728
Validation Loss: 0.2055
Validation Accuracy: 0.9308
Validation Precision: 0.9387
Validation Recall: 0.9097
Validation F1 Score: 0.9240
Epoch 5

Train Loss: 0.0588
Train Accuracy: 0.9789
Train Precision: 0.9824
Train Recall: 0.9688
Train F1 Score: 0.9755
Validation Loss: 0.2588
Validation Accuracy: 0.9221
Validation Precision: 0.9207
Validation Recall: 0.9097
Validation F1 Score: 0.9152
Epoch 6

Train Loss: 0.0509
Train Accuracy: 0.9825
Train Precision: 0.9677
Train Recall: 0.9927
Train F1 Score: 0.9801
Validation Loss: 0.2303
Validation Accuracy: 0.9177
Validation Precision: 0.8827
Validation Recall: 0.9477
Validation F1 Score: 0.9141
Epoch 7

Train Loss: 0.0314
Train Accuracy: 0.9915
Train Precision: 0.9875
Train Recall: 0.9931
Train F1 Score: 0.9902
Validation Loss: 0.3205
Validation Accuracy: 0.9188
Validation Precision: 0.9181
Validation Recall: 0.9050
Validation F1 Score: 0.9115
Epoch 8

Train Loss: 0.1113
Train Accuracy: 0.9619
Train Precision: 0.9966
Train Recall: 0.9155
Train F1 Score: 0.9543
Validation Loss: 0.6292
Validation Accuracy: 0.9012
Validation Precision: 0.9688
Validation Recall: 0.8124
Validation F1 Score: 0.8837
Epoch 9

Train Loss: 0.0283
Train Accuracy: 0.9915
Train Precision: 0.9955
Train Recall: 0.9849
Train F1 Score: 0.9902
Validation Loss: 0.3072
Validation Accuracy: 0.9254
Validation Precision: 0.9380
Validation Recall: 0.8979
Validation F1 Score: 0.9175
Epoch 10

Train Loss: 0.0126
Train Accuracy: 0.9960
Train Precision: 0.9934
Train Recall: 0.9975
Train F1 Score: 0.9954
Validation Loss: 0.4054
Validation Accuracy: 0.9276
Validation Precision: 0.9196
Validation Recall: 0.9240
Validation F1 Score: 0.9218
In [ ]:
import torch
import torch.nn as nn
import torch.optim as optim
from torch.utils.data import Dataset, DataLoader
from gensim.models import KeyedVectors
import nltk
import numpy as np
import pandas as pd
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
from sklearn.metrics import accuracy_score, precision_score, recall_score, f1_score, confusion_matrix
import string
from sklearn.metrics import ConfusionMatrixDisplay
from tqdm import tqdm
from wordcloud import WordCloud
from sklearn.manifold import TSNE
model = KeyedVectors.load_word2vec_format("/content/drive/MyDrive/Colab Notebooks/GoogleNews-vectors-negative300.bin", binary=True)
semantically_similar_words = {
"computer": model.most_similar("computer", topn=5),
"football": model.most_similar("football", topn=5),
"ocean": model.most_similar("ocean", topn=5),
"music": model.most_similar("music", topn=5),
}
In [ ]:
semantically_similar_words
Out[ ]:
{'computer': [('computers', 0.7979379892349243),
  ('laptop', 0.6640493273735046),
  ('laptop_computer', 0.6548868417739868),
  ('Computer', 0.647333562374115),
  ('com_puter', 0.6082080006599426)],
 'football': [('soccer', 0.731354832649231),
  ('fooball', 0.7139959335327148),
  ('Football', 0.7124834060668945),
  ('basketball', 0.668246865272522),
  ('footbal', 0.6649289727210999)],
 'ocean': [('sea', 0.7643541693687439),
  ('oceans', 0.7482994198799133),
  ('Pacific_Ocean', 0.7037094831466675),
  ('Atlantic_Ocean', 0.6659377217292786),
  ('oceanic', 0.6610181927680969)],
 'music': [('classical_music', 0.7197794318199158),
  ('jazz', 0.6834640502929688),
  ('Music', 0.6595720648765564),
  ('Without_Donny_Kirshner', 0.6416222453117371),
  ('songs', 0.6396344304084778)]}
In [ ]:
model.most_similar(positive=["king","queen"], negative=["woman"],
topn=3)
Out[ ]:
[('kings', 0.6367637515068054),
 ('monarch', 0.5600019693374634),
 ('queens', 0.5444643497467041)]